I apologize for taking to long to post. There will be at least one more chapter.
I told Nera I could meet with her and the company who was looking to expand their business as long as it was only for Thursday. Nera knew Friday I planned to take our children to my parents’ 40th Wedding Anniversary. I expected that she’d be planning that once I’m part of the meeting; I will also be there come Friday. I used to sacrifice myself for her in the past as I’m usually a workaholic and feel overly responsible for things. However that is no longer happening. She could stay around and get that stuff complete for a change.

My mother and I stayed up only a short time; we’d be up again early in the morning. Mother surprised me, saying, “Your sister Grace with be here by 10 this morning to go with you to your appointment with Dr. Mueller. I guess Grace made an appointment a half-hour after you, though I’m not sure why.

“I hope you will let her into your visit with Dr. Amanda. Your world is changing so fast Grace thought you should have someone in the family you can talk confidentially with, someone who knows what’s medically going on.”

Mom said, “And while you’re not an adolescent daughter. I would still like to be in mother/daughter conversations with you during your changes.

“Your brothers Rick and Pat will be here Friday; Pat says, he’ll support you through this coming weekend. He is not sure what to think about all that is happening. He was enough older than your sister and you to never really attached like you and Grace. Plus your Father doesn’t want you to tell him about the Hardware store possibility now.

Dara giggled at a memory that came to mind. “When I was ten, Rick came home and interrupted me playing with Grace’s makeup. I quickly used her lipstick like clown makeup. He thought I practiced making a clown face for Halloween.”

Mom interrupted Dara. “I’m not sure if he remembers that time, but you didn’t fool him. He talked to me later about that and he knew you were into Grace’s makeup. I guess he and cousin Leesha had tried something when he was twelve. It was just a phase for him so he didn’t think it was unusual.”

“Do you remember: there came a time when I wouldn’t let you in my room when I was changing? You were pouting for about a month and annoying your sister. She allowed you to wear her long nightshirts to play in her playhouse.”

Dara/Heath said, “I was the only boy she’d allow in there with her friends. She finally kicked me out for some reason.”

Mom said, “There we two times you couldn’t find her nightshirt and you went out there in some of her clothes. That was when you were supposed to stop pretending to be a girl. It was almost two years before I found out you were still sneaking into her stuff. That was way before Dad caught you.”

Pat, my oldest brother, on the other hand, was born to my parents before they were officially married at the church. They were married by a justice of the peace six months before he was born and two years later when they graduated from college. Pat was not accepting of my feminine side. He had beaten me twice. Once when he was back from the service and I was in one of my sister’s dresses.

The last time was five years ago when his wife Kathy was first sick with cancer. Pat had come back from deployment overseas a month ahead of schedule and unannounced. I wasn’t dressed as a woman but when he asked Kathy what we were talking about. “Don’t tell me you felt you could talk to him because he thinks he’s one of those girl/boys?”

Kathy said, “I talked to him because he listens and because he was nice enough to be here while you were to be away. Now leave him alone.

She gave him a hug and said, “I am so glad to have you home Pat!”

Pat left me alone until he invited me out that night to go for a drink with him. It was in some parking lot that he began kicking my butt again. I was supposed to return to his house and stay the night without complaining.

It was midnight when we returned to the house. I packed my things and left some twenty minutes later. It was only after Kathy’s cancer came back that we made up and became brothers for a time. I felt sorry for Pat he had so much with his family, but for over fifteen years he had trouble being at home with them. As far as I knew he never received help for all the things he had done or been through.

Mom and I went through a lot of memories. Things I did that Mom didn’t know about. There were a few times I was wrong in thinking she didn’t know. But it added up to how I and others denied or didn’t know I was a girl inside.

It also filled the time of Dad getting up and going to work and our waiting for Grace.

Grace arrived soon enough after nine that she was able to relax for a cup of tea. She was happy that I was willing for her as a big sis to go with me to the doctors.

My appointment went well and Dr. Amanda Mueller visited about increasing my therapy in conjunction with continuing my counseling. Grace and I visited over lunch after her appointment. I didn’t want to leave my daughters too long, but Grace said I needed to learn to take some important girl time. My visit with my sister was different from my being Dara. She affirmed what Dr. Mueller said about my emotions changing. She asked, “Have you noticed that you are becoming more maternal about Teri and Katy?” I wondered how she knew since she had not been around me enough to make observations.

I stop over my folks for more of a discussion with Mom and Grace. Later with Dad about connecting with the corporate people of his hardware group. An interesting twist is that my parents are considering moving close to me and downsize their home. But Dad doesn’t want an old house with inherited problems. He and I talk to Dean Proctor on the phone. And Dad already has rough blueprints of what he wants.

Dean Proctor said to us, “Did you know that there are seven acres of land attached to Jodi’s house, behind it. It’s what use to be old Myer’s farm. He says it would be an ideal spot for developing an eight to fourteen house addition to the community. Your folks could have their choice of lot size.”

Then I drove home to my apartment and called Nera to come and visit me about her project.

Once she was there, I said, “I can do the project but you and I will need to work out a reasonable divorce agreement. That is so we can move on yet work together. Plus you will need to get your head back into your business as well as being there for your daughters.”

Nera tried to say that couldn’t be part of the agreement and regularly I would have agreed. But I know both of us and neither one would work our best while in the midst of conflicts between us.

One ray of hope was that her friend Constance was now her growing love interest as Elva seems to be on the way out. I know Constance and have much more respect for her than I do for Elva. The truth is Nera and I should be taking our time before getting into new relationships. I’m not sure if either of us has the discipline to do so…

Finally, Nera gave in and said she and her lawyer had seen my proposal and that I was being reasonable. She was getting 60% of the monetary value of things and had three years to pay me the value of things she didn’t want to liquidate such as the house and some stock investments. The child support and my time with the girls were the remaining bones of contention we still needed to work out.

I was invited downstairs to eat with Jodi and her children. It was a simple dinner of spaghetti and bread. I brought down some lettuce and fixin’s to make a salad. Jodi was looking to talk with an adult, hopefully, a woman. We had a good night as Jodi didn’t often have a salad as it meant extra food and dishes. I was learning from Jodi about being a more active parent. She and the children had me sing some songs along with them that I might sing with my girls.

We talked about the property that was attached to hers. She hadn’t known about it as her husband insisted on handling things like that. Her next question, “Can that property help me get out from under? Her second question was, would that possibly be why my bank was rushing to foreclose on me?”

The answer to both was yes, but to prove and get the bank to change was another matter. I knew enough that she wouldn’t want to go to the state banking commission as her first move. The state is corrupt enough that justice and law might not prevail. I knew through my parents a retired state investigator. Jodi and I would call Dauber in the morning.

Tuesday I spent some time on various projects. Contacting Dauber for Jodi proved to be fruitful. A woman, who was wired, would soon contact the bank about available property. The vice-president of First Bank agreed to hand it personally, saying, “We have just the property and the owner doesn’t even know we have her blocked from selling it without using us.” He was nice enough to describe the property in detail, upon her good offer they arranged. “She will sell it at half the price and thank us for helping her and her children. I heard she wants to move out of state which will be better for both of us.”

I spent most of my afternoon figuring out Nera’s project. A mechanical drawing of the project layout and their compilation of needs and machines were divided nicely between the production plant, a new administration area and updating their security system.

I met with Dean Proctor in the evening and he had made a tentative agreement with an old retiring farmer. Never let it be said the farmer was ignorant. He did not have the property up for sale. He wanted to know who he was selling it to and why.

He was selling twenty acres to us at seven percent below the price we were hoping to buy it for. It would be my property and whether or not the meeting with the corporate people tomorrow would move things forward or take more time. More serious dealings would wait until after my parents’ anniversary celebration and trip. Dad said Sadie Beacon the young mechanic whiz would be there as well as Dean.”

I was relaxing in my apartment talking to Cortney to unwind from the day. I had a couple of candles lit and her perfume scenting the apartment. I was even running bath water. I was sure Cortney was a little jealous when I told her about dinner with Jodi and her family. Cortney said it was the distance between us.

The day was very tiring and I was sure I needed to learn to pace myself. Talking to Cortney as a woman was more pleasing than if I were Heath. I loved being able to have the vagina gaff on when I was bathing. I had been about sixteen when my dreams of being a girl came more alive with feelings I had experienced. I’m noticing that hormone therapy has begun to heighten those feelings in me once again. And I find myself interested in being with another woman.

The Mid-Atlantic representative for Value Hardware and Lumber were happy to see my Dad, Mr. Darren Martin. Because when they first saw Dara it was hard to take her serious about running such a business. They did grill me. They discovered I knew hardware, having grown up around it. I also knew how to keep books as well as use their computer system. And I knew lumber as well. But they were even more impressed with Dean Proctor who would run the lumberyard and man the contractors’ area.

My parents were helping to put down $125,000 to solidify the agreement, along with my twenty-five thousand and another fifteen thousand from Dean Proctor. They had set aside money they thought was needed to purchase the land.

I was tickled to meet Heather Lockley, the former basketball star and small engine mechanic. Heather was hoping to run her own company within my business.

Rucklesbee the VP from Value Enterprises said, “You know you are purchasing more land than you need as well as our projection for future expansion. Aren’t you worried of overextending yourselves?”

Dean spoke up, “Dara was thinking ahead and bought enough for a nice eating place to start next to us. It will be kept for such to be a nice complement to our business. It will also keep an undesired neighbor out.”

While lawyers would need to revise and review the final contract there was a tentative agreement. The wheels could begin turning on the project.

I met with Nera and her new office manager at nine thirty Thursday morning and at 10:00 with Carl Davidson and other representatives of Ballard Liquid Control Systems, Inc. We complimented them on their expansion project. Nera joined me in complimenting their detailed plans. I had called ahead and laid out my suggestions to fit over the plans they were bringing. I made our lines for production in blue, administration in green and the lines for security in reddish orange. It made it easier to follow as I explained our bid for their project.

One of their people was critical of my running of wire, instead of total reliance upon a wireless system. My reply was, “Your Southeast plant is the state of the arts program, but has been down three times this past year as well as down for reprogramming and changing projects, adding industrial equipment, etc.

“This design takes that into consideration: We suggest you use your wireless program during the week but use your wire system on Saturday and special times as needed. This way you have an alternative and know a backup is operational. You can choose to go totally wireless, but I’m not suggesting it. You can check with your national office and see what they recommend?”

Mr. Aferiti spoke up. “I am from the national office and your point is valid. I believe the added cost would be well offset by the added costs we experience at the plant you have mentioned.”

Aferiti and another person questioned why Dara and not Heath Martin is present. I let Nera explained. Mr. Aferiti blushed but said to Nera. I can understand why you have stuck with her. She is a valuable asset to your company.

It was two in the afternoon and we had worked through the noon hour without more than a short break. They proposed to continue the next day. Nera was saying, I would represent the company when I interrupted her.

“That will not be happening I am leaving with my daughters to attend a special occasion. Nera Martin is more than qualified and it is her company. Excuse me, while I am hoping you reach an agreement; my only request is that you do not use lesser materials and still have me for the project. I am sorry but I need to excuse myself. I am already late.”

Nera walked me out. She was both embarrassed and pleading with me to guarantee I’d be there the next day. “Nera, I am glad you hired a good administrator. I hope this means you are on the right track and worthy of this contract.”

I was able to pick Teresa and Katy up from preschool, there clothes and a few toys from home. We went to my apartment where I was able to shower, change and put my things into the car. My girls had been with Jodi while I was upstairs.

Jodi told me, “Teresa asked if you ever turned into a monster. She said, ‘It was something her grandma had told her.”

I told Jodi, “I guess they’re set on saying things to get the girls afraid of me. I don’t think it will work.”

I had Teresa heading to the car and Katy in my hands and was ready to leave. Jodi said, “Aren’t you going to say a proper goodbye? …It’s not like your landlord is a monster either.”

I turned to her, we had begun giving each other a hug now and then. Today she had her arms open wide for a hug. And as we broke the hug, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. That was a first, but Jodi quickly recovered and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t plan that or even know where it came from.” But Dara had kissed her back and neither of them really found anything to complain about.

I said, “Thanks, it reminds me I’m too early to jump to conclusions about myself so don’t worry. I am most happy to have you as a friend.”

Within three minutes I was down the road, but a good half hour before I was fully concentrating on my driving and talking to my girls.

I was glad that my parents’ 40th Wedding Anniversary would be taking me away from all the other issues.

Mom called and we talked about using the car phone. “Dara, its Mom. Are you coming tonight, in the morning or are you going to be delayed in coming as usual?”

“Mom, “I’m now about twenty minutes away. The girls and I are looking forward to seeing everyone.”

“Does everyone know I’m coming as Dara? I hope you don’t mind but I only brought one change of clothes for Heath if that were to be needed.”

I hear a brother comment; he must be near mom’s phone: “I guess that means the family photo will be different.” I couldn’t tell, ‘if my brother Pat was being courteous or if there was some criticism that I’d soon hear.’

Mom says, “It’s what we expected and were hoping for. How are Teresa and Katy doing with all that’s going on?”

“They’ve fallen asleep in the car. I think they’re doing fine, but I’m hoping some of you can verify that for me over the weekend.”

My sister Grace speaks up, “You have the heart of a good parent Dara. They’ll do fine in the long run, just don’t panic when they’re upset at any one time. You will need to learn more girl games and to take time and listen as well as read and sit with them.”

Teresa wakes up and wants to talk to Grandma and Aunt Grace. Instead of the car phone, she wanted to talk privately with them on my phone. I found out later her number one concern was for me to learn about young girls from Aunt Grace.

Grace’s Daughters Bethany and Michele are teenagers fifteen and seventeen. Rick has two boys and a girl. And my oldest brother Patrick, a career military man, has two sons and two daughters and his wife Kathy died over two years ago.

He has been dating Shelley the past few months and she like my Cortney will be there and hopefully accepted as part of the family for now. Pat’s youngest daughter Beth is having the most trouble making the adjustment in accepting Shelley. The problem is not with Shelley as much as it is with Pat. He had learned too late for his wife and family to think of them and take time with them. Now a full bird Colonel, he’s waiting for this becoming Lieutenant Colonel before announcing his retirement.

If Bethany was correct he’d need to spend two years as an instructor if he received that rank. I awaited the official word from my oldest brother. Bethany has been in regular contact with me since she learned I came out as Dara. Her words in writing me was that: “My mother had said to my sister Diana and me: ‘Heath is a T-girl. If he ever acknowledges that and comes out. I want you two to help her if at all possible.’ She told us that three months after she told us that she had terminal cancer.”

It was kind of funny yet very emotional for both her and me, as I drove into the driveway. Grandma and her namesake Beth came out to greet us.

Beth noticed that I reacted to her hugging me because of my breasts reacting to feeling hers. Katy was in my arms and Beth and lifted Teresa and we hugged again. I felt Beth’s tears as she sighed and began to cry on my shoulders.

Beth whispered, “I hear this Cortney is very special. I just ask you to take your time in learning to be Dara for both yourself and your girls. If Cortney is like I hear she should be willing to be there for the next year.”

To be continued…