One Ugly Broad

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One Ugly Broad

By Portia Bennett

Introduction: A young married couple reminisces.

I first posted this little dash off five years ago. I am very fond of it. In a way it's based on a college experience. A group of college students were drinking at a bar in a college town in northern California. A very unattractive, very drunk, middle aged woman staggered by our table, and one of the drunks said out loud, "My God you are ugly." I forget her response, but she staggered on. Obviously, the event never left me.


"The kids okay?"

"Yeah, Bobby was just having a bad dream. Now, where were we?"

"I think things were just starting to get interesting."

"Remember what you said to me the first time we met?"

"How could I forget? I was so drunk, and I felt about six inches tall after I said it."

"What did you say?"

"You know what I said."

"Go ahead. Tell me."

"I said, 'God, you are one ugly broad.'"


"And you kissed me.

"It wasn't until Darryl told me about you later that night that I began to realize what had happened."

"So, you asked me out the next day. Why did you do that?"

"I wanted to apologize, but somehow I never got around to it."

"Yes, you did."


"You asked me out again. That was enough."

"I think it was that first date, but it might have been the second when I knew I was in love with you."

"I think it was the same for me. You were the first guy to ever call me a woman.

"Now, where were we?"

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This story is 277 words long.