Better Than The Alternative? : Chapter 15

Jordan had been given a second chance to live after overcoming a very unique medical condition. While the procedure saves his life, the side effects that he faces are the last things a 14 year old boy would want. Convinced with what he knows lies ahead, is it better than the alternative?

Better Than The Alternative?
Chapter 15

By Rebecca Jane
Copyright© 2018 Rebecca Jane
All Rights Reserved.

Author's Note:Well I finally was able to finish this chapter, its a bit longer than most thankfully. The last couple of months, as if I wasn't dealing with enough, life decided to add a few more challenges. My writing has had to take a severe back seat to more pressing matters. I apologize profusely for the delay, I do promise though, I refuse to abandon this story and will definitely see it to the conclusion. It just might take me longer than I first thought. I hope you all enjoy.-~Rebecca

Chapter 15


I was thinking about what I had gotten myself into while on the way to my first class. The whole situation had snowballed into something so much bigger than I had originally planned. The entire time I had been preparing for today I had only thinking that I didn’t want to hide my relationship with Sam. I wanted everyone to know how I felt, the last thing I ever wanted was for her to think that I might be scared, or ashamed of being with her. Then the confrontation with Mrs. Benson happened, and with her thinking at first that I was a girl, and then how she singled out and was rude to Sam. I was pissed beyond a shadow of a doubt, and then we talked to Shelly and thinking about her reminded me there was more at stake than just Sam and me. Like I normally did, I steam rolled straight ahead, damn the consequences. I was pulled out of my thoughts by a ding from an incoming text, I ducked into the restroom to answer it. I figured I better answer, especially after sending her that email earlier. Oh yeah, it was Mom and she must have just seen the video.

[Mom: Jordan I just saw the email, what’s going on?]

[Me: A teacher was discriminating against Sam. She wasn’t saying anything to anyone else doing the exact same thing. I couldn’t let her single Sam out, I’m sorry Mom.]

[Mom: Great… Do I need to come down there? Or call the principle.]

[Me: Not yet… I already got sent to the principal and talked with Mr. Miller. I’m not in trouble that I know of. Are you mad?]

[Mom: No, not mad… Frustrated maybe, but not surprised… You just got back from your suspension Jordan.]

[Me: I’m sorry Mom… She was bullying Sam…]

[Mom: I know sweetie. Look keep me informed okay? The twins are in the office and watched the video with me. If you need them they said they’ll be there. We will talk more this evening.]

[Me: I’ll let you know as soon as anything happens. Tell them I said thanks, but don’t worry. I’ve got this]

[Mom: Ugh Jordan… I’m definitely going to worry now… Be there for Sam and tell her if she needs us we’ll be right over.]

[Me: K Mom. Thanks. Love you.]

[Mom: Love you too. Now if at all possible, stay out of trouble the rest of the day young man.]

I almost laughed, she knows I don’t really look for trouble… I just never seem to be able to run from it when it finds me. At least the twins, that would be Mark and Jeff Tomlinson, said they’d help if need be. Their Dad and Granddad would probably be there also if they needed to. Mark and Jeff were the third generation of Tomlinson’s in their law firm. Technically it was Mark the third and Jeff, both their dad and grandad were also named Mark. Mom had been working for them long before I was born, and she had gotten the job because her Mom had worked for Mark senior. Hell, Mom had babysat the twins back when she was still in high school. The Tomlinson and Taylor’s had been close long before even Mom was born.

Thinking about it, I guess they had always been close, Grandma had been working for Mark Senior as a paralegal when my grandfather died in the military while she was still pregnant with Mom. Mom never ever got to meet her Dad, but the old man had taken care of and been there for Grandma, and then for Mom as well. As soon as Mom was able she joined the firm as a paralegal as well. Mark one and two had even pushed mom to get a degree in business back when she first got pregnant with me and had moved from Paralegal to office manager. They had been a godsend after I got really sick. No matter how much time Mom had needed off to deal with me they never questioned it or even shorted her on her salary, I’ve even heard mom and dad talking about how they had even paid off a good portion of my medical bills. They had always been better to us than most of our real family.

Knowing that the twins were going to have my back did make me feel a lot better, I seriously hoped it wouldn’t come to that though. By the time I reached my classroom I was almost twenty minutes late for class. I stopped and listened through the door and the teacher was talking about our upcoming essay we were supposed to be writing, I softly knocked and opened the door interrupting her lecture.

She just glared at me the entire time I walked in, gave her my tardy slip, and sat down. Most of the students were just staring, and a few were snickering as I sat down, I even heard some cough out ‘faggit’. The teacher glared at the class as she cleared her throat and said, “That’s enough! Any more outbursts will get you a pass directly to the principal. Do you understand?” There were a few “Yes ma’am’s”, and a bit of grumbling from around me. With another glare around the room, she started to resume talking about our assigned essay.

Thankfully nothing else was muttered for the rest of class, until the bell sounded at least. As I was walking out of the classroom I heard things like, “Tranny lover… cocksucker… queer.” To name a few… I was pissed, but it was said just low enough and no one was saying it to me directly, so I had no clue where it was coming from. I did have to laugh slightly though, here I was the smallest kid in the entire school and yet no one was brave enough to confront me directly. In short, I realized the kids doing this were cowards. It was like the online comments I’ve read about trans people. The people saying the worst things, were the biggest cowards of them all, and felt safe saying those vile things only from the anonymity of the internet. So yeah, I laughed. Let the chicken shits mutter, because I truly didn’t care what they thought.

My next class was almost the same, only a lot more subdued. I was in advanced algebra, and most of the students were all a bit higher in the academic standings than the students in my English class. It made me think about how more intelligent someone is, how usually the more open they are. Maybe not more open, but definitely less judgmental. Thankfully it was mostly quiet the rest of the way through class, until I got to the lunchroom at least.

The insults were much louder as I was trying to get my food, but like earlier they were using the crowd to hide behind. Knowing they were only trying to get an angry reaction from me, I just smirked. Let the idiots be idiots. I did see a few of the teachers looking around and as one person yelled out one of the teachers must have seen it, as he made a beeline to one of the tables and pulled an older boy from his seat and walked him out of the cafeteria. The insults quickly subsided after that.

I was pleasantly relieved when I saw Rick waving me towards their table after I got gotten my tray of food. It was just him and Tom sitting there, but the ‘jock’ table had already dropped to just us three after everything once Sam and I had started hanging out with each other. As I sat my tray down I greeted them, “Sup guys, what’s going on?”

Tom laughed, “Dude you’re being pretty nonchalant considering your show this morning.”

Before I could start getting mad, Rick asked, “So, you and Sam?”

I turned and glared at him, “Sam and I what?”

Rick told me, “Chill dude, I was only asking. It’s cool with me bro.”

Tom echoed, “Me too Jordan… I don’t think I could but… I’m cool with her being your… Umm…”

I finished his statement, “Girlfriend… She’s my girlfriend. I’m not ashamed of that.”

Rick told me chuckling, “We noticed Jord, hell the entire school noticed with that statement… Look, don’t take this wrong, but both of us like Sam, and she’s like super cool and all… She’s even kinda hot in that sporty softball chick kind of way… It’s just that knowing… You know? Knowing who she was… I just… I mean we just… You’re a bigger man than we are dude.”

Tom nodded and held his hands out like he was holding two large melons and said, “Muchy Grandy dude…”

Rick snorted, “Dude, your Spanish sucks… How do you even have a C in that class?”

Tom shrugged, exclaiming, “Hey you both knew what I meant, that’s good enough for me…”

They both chuckled for a moment, but then they realized I wasn’t laughing, or even smiling. Tom’s statement had caught me off guard, I mean I wish more than anything that that was true… Rick asked, “Hey Jord… You alright?”

I looked back and up and realized I had drifted off into my own thoughts, I told him, “Yeah… Just worried you know… About Sam and how people are going to treat her now, ya know…”

Tom tried to joke, “Whatcha worried about, think they’re gonna tease her for dating a munchkin?”

I sighed, “Yeah something like that…”

Rick elbowed him in the side pretty hard, “Asshole! That’s not cool…” While Tom rubbed his side, Rick looked up at me and told me, “Look dude, no matter what, we’ve got your back… Yours and Sam’s both okay?” He then held up his fist for a bump. Even though Tom was grimacing from the elbow to the side he nodded.

It took me a moment before I raised my own and returned the fist bump, “Thanks dude… Both of you… I appreciate it.”

The rest of lunch and the remainder of the day I kept thinking back to what Tom had said about the size of my nonexistent ‘pair’. They didn’t know any better, and with the way they’d stuck by me and even Sam with my prodding, I knew I needed to let them both know everything. Not only those two dorks, but also the girls on the team as well. I know they’d be okay with me, and even though I had been able to talk to the group about my issues I was still afraid. It wasn’t as bad as before, but it was still there. Fear, even if its irrational fear, is like that I guess. I knew the girls and the guys would be okay with it, well with me. I still didn’t want them to feel sorry for me, that still bothered me to no end. I mean I’ve faced down and beaten death once, I’ve faced down and mostly beaten Mrs. Benson and her hate, hell I even beat the hell out of Clint’s fist with my face. This should be a walk in the park for me.

With all those thoughts running through my mind, I wasn’t able to get much homework or studying done during my study hall period. I’d been in deep thought about all the stuff that had been going on recently. How badly I had scared my parents with my stupidity, not only them but my friends, and girlfriend. The things that happened this morning with Mrs. Benson and Mr. Miller, also the conversation with Shelly and the girls before school. Mostly though I thought about Sam and how she made me feel. How it made me feel when we were together, and then when she’d let her guard down and smile, and I mean truly smile at me. It was in those small moments when I no longer felt small, or weak. When Sam smiled at me, as hokey as it sounds, I felt like I was ten feet tall and made of steel.

I was smiling at those thoughts while I was exchanging books out of my locker when I felt hands come from behind me and cover my eyes as my mischievous girlfriend said, “Guess who?”

I tried not to laugh, so I thought really quick and said, “Ummm… Let me think… Scarlett Johansen?... Umm wait, I know! Kate Beckinsale?” I spun around quickly to see Sam’s shocked expression. I then blurted out while smirking, “Ooo wow! Even better than either of them, it’s my hot girlfriend!”

She softly slapped my arm in frustration, “What why I ought to… Wait… Did you just call me your hot girlfriend?” I grinned and nodded, which caused her to smile and blush slightly. She then looked around the hallway, and softly said, “Good answer, I think I’ll forgive you.” She then bent down slightly and gave me a soft kiss that lasted for a few seconds. I shivered gently from the kiss as my skin started to tingle and my nipples responded. While it bothered me with the response those two nubs gave when kissing her, I won’t admit it out loud it did feel pretty damn good. It hurt slightly, but in a really good way if that makes sense.

It took me a moment to recover, much to Sam’s amusement. As we started to walk to our last class I asked, “So has anyone given you a hard time about this morning?”

She slightly blushed and shook her head, “Not really… I mean not in a mean way…” At my confused expression she added, “Some of the girls sorta teased me about the kiss a bit… I think they might have been a bit jealous… A few of them sort of hinted that they wished their boyfriends would do something like that…”

I grinned, “Okay… I was worried that someone would have been talking shit to you…”

She shook her head, “No… Has someone said anything to you?”

I told her, “Nothing that really matters… It was just a few stupid assholes… Most people have been cool about it… Mr. Miller was even pretty nice when I got called into his office this morning…”

She stopped walking and stared at me, “Oh shit Jordan, what happened? Was it about this morning?”

I nodded, “Yeah, but don’t worry it’s cool. The old bat actually lied to Mr. Miller trying to get me into trouble.”

A shocked expression crossed her face, “Oh shit Jordan… What happened? She was clearing her desk out when I got to her class earlier… She didn’t say anything, but just glared at me the whole time…”

That news surprised me, I had thought that she would just be talked to and not fired. That was the last thing that I wanted to happen. I told her, “He told me what she had said, and I emailed him the video for proof that it was a lie… Was she fired?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know… All I know is that she cleaned out her desk and left, the entire time staring daggers at me…”

I nodded, “Okay… I’ll have to talk to him after class… I never meant for this to happen… I’m pissed at what she did, but I never wanted her to be fired…”

We had just gotten to our class and before we walked in she gave me a quick hug. The rest of the class was just normal school stuff and even though we sat together it didn’t allow us to talk. Afterwards I went straight to Mr. Millers office to try to find out what happened to Mrs. Benson, but was quickly told that there was a big meeting that most of the staff would be attending this afternoon and to check back with him in the morning…

Frustrated I left the office to go meet up with Sam for the walk home. When I found her, Shelly and Rachel were with her. When they looked up I could see they were concerned, Sam asked, “What did you find out?”

I replied, “Nothing… Seems there is a huge meeting this afternoon with the staff… The lady in the office told me to come back tomorrow.”

Shelly asked, “Is the meeting about what happened this morning? Sam told us you were called in to talk to Mr. Miller and then about Mrs. Benson… Umm, leaving.”

I shrugged, “I don’t know what it’s about… But what else could it be… I just wanted her to back off… I didn’t mean to hurt her in the process…”

Rachel came up and gave me a gentle hug, “Hey… Look whatever happened with her, it’s not your fault okay.”

I pulled back, and retorted, “Really? How could it not be my fault? I’m the one that started this Rachel… She might be an old bitch… I still didn’t want to hurt her… I just wanted her to stop…”

Shelly glanced at Sam and then back at me with concern, she gently gave me a hug and whispered, “You keep surprising us Jordan… Even now you’re concerned about her… Even after what she did… Jordan, you’re not the one that made her say those things. It all falls on her okay…”

I sniffed, “I know that… I wouldn’t even change what I did… I just don’t my actions to hurt someone else… It sucks…” I stopped myself, afraid of saying anymore. As angry as she made me, I truly didn’t want Mrs. Benson to lose her job. Maybe I was naïve, but I had hoped that a stern warning would have been it. Even with Clint and the epic dumbass he was, I still felt bad about him going to jail… What the fuck was wrong with me… I’d never felt guilt before for standing up for someone… In the confusion I felt a tear streak down my cheek, about the same time Sam wrapped her arms around me.

She placed her cheek against mine as she held me, “It’s okay Jordan… I think I understand how you feel… Just don’t ever change okay…”

I completely had forgotten Shelly and Rachel standing there when I snorted softly, “Like I can stop that from happening.”

Sam jerked back suddenly and blurted out, “Oh shit Jordan I didn’t even think… I mean I didn’t mean that…”

I pulled her back into a hug and told her it’s okay… I can’t hide this forever…”

Shelly and Rachel stared at us in confusion. Shelly asked, “What’s going on with you two?”

Sam glanced nervously at them and back at me, it was then I realized that I had to tell them. I mean tell them everything… I didn’t want to have to repeat my story a hundred times, so I had an idea. I gently grasped Sam’s hand and then looked at Shelly, “I need to tell you something… I actually need to tell all of you something… Are we still good to practice this Saturday?”

Rachel stared at me for a quick moment and softly said, “Yeah… Are you okay Jordan? I mean… With you missing a lot of school recently… Are you sick again?”

The both looked worried, I smiled and told them, “No… I’m okay… I mean I’m not… But I’m not going to die or anything… I promise… Look can you make sure as many of the players can be there Saturday? Do you mind if I invited two friends from the baseball team to come also? I need to talk to them too…”

Sam softly asked, “Are you sure?”

I nodded and looked at my friends, “Yeah… Definitely sure. Look there is a lot that’s been going on with me… It’s nothing bad or anything, I promise. It’s just hard for me to talk about and I really don’t want to have to repeat it over and over…”

Shelly nodded, “Okay… I mean, yeah, we can get all the girls there. I don’t mind who all you invite…”

Rachel then told me, “Whatever it is Jordan, I can promise you that we don’t care okay… I’m not alone in this, but I think you’re something special…”

All three of the girls nodded, which almost made me start crying again. The girls then saw me fighting tears and they all wrapped me up in a hug, which caused me to let the tears freely start to come out… In between sobs I told them, “Thanks… I don’t know what I did… To deserve you guys…”

I was able to quickly recover, maybe I was getting more and more used to the outbursts of my ever-increasing emotions. They offered us a ride home, which we both accepted. The ride was a quiet one, Sam gently holding my hand sitting in the back seat, while Shelly drove, and Rachel kept glancing back to check on me. It wasn’t a long walk to school, so it was an even shorter drive, maybe only six minutes.

As we got on the car they both gave me a hug again and it was Shelly that said, “I understand what you meant back there Jordan… We think the same thing about you… The reason we want to be your friends though, is simply because it’s you.”

After a few more sniffles and hugs the girls left. Sam followed me into the kitchen, used to my normal after school routine. Once I had finished my slime, Sam asked, “Do you mind if we don’t practice? I just kinda wanted to talk to you about Saturday if that’s okay…”

I smiled, “I don’t mind, I might get a bit wired though…”

She giggled, and told me, “That’s okay, I think I’ll survive. So… What made you decide to tell everyone?”

I thought for a moment, “I guess it’s a lot of little things… It al started adding up, ya know? The guys were joking with me earlier about have a huge pair for having the courage to kiss you like I did… The girls always telling me what a great guy I am… It’s just… I mean I… I’m just starting to feel so damn fake…”

She put her arm around me and whispered, “You’re nowhere near fake Jordan…”

I grumbled, “How am I not? I mean I don’t have a pair, big or small… No matter what I am, I’m not really a guy… I don’t want to be a woman… I’m just so screwed up…”

She wrapped her other arm around me in a fierce hug, “Jordan, you are what you want to be okay… It doesn’t matter if you have a pair, or if you’re not a guy, or even a girl… You’re an amazing person Jordan. You’re an amazing friend, the girls and guys know and see that… You’re simply amazing okay?”

She softly rocked me in the seat as I whimpered, “I’m not Sam… I’m just so messed up…”

Still holding me tightly she fussed, “No you’re not messed up. You’ve been through hell, more than most could realize. It could have fucked you up, and no one would blame you if you were Jordan… Instead you’re you… You’re this funny, scrappy, guy…” She must have felt me tense up as she continued, “Okay person… You are all of those things, you stick up for me, the girls… You’ve even been cool to Brett, even after your rough start… You’re an amazing person Jordan… Trust me… I wouldn’t have fallen in love with an asshole okay?”

I tried to chuckle, but it came out as more of a watery giggle, “Really? I can be an asshole though…”

She giggled back, “Yeah but only at people that deserve it.”

She held me for a moment and as she released me I told her, “I love you too Sam… You’ve faced a lot as well… I’m just worried that once everyone knows about me… With us dating… That you’d have to deal with…”

She interrupted, “Shut up Jordan… I don’t care about any of that… I don’t love you because of what people think okay… I love you because of this.” She tried to place her hand over my heart and accidentally pressed into one of my boobs, which caused me to grimace slightly. She blurted out, “Sorry I didn’t mean to touch your breast… I was trying to…”

I laughed, “I know you were… It’s okay… It’s just they’ve been a bit more sore than normal… And itchy… I think mom changed the detergent or something…”

Sam stared for a moment at my breasts and said, “Or something…” She screwed her face up in thought for a moment and then asked, “Jordan… I know this might be weird… Can I see them? I mean not to be like… You know, creepy. But to see what might be causing them to hurt more…”

I thought for a moment and said, “I guess I don’t mind… As long as you won’t get creeped out or anything…”

She shook her head, “I promise I won’t get upset… Maybe a bit jealous of your boobs, but its okay.” She giggled slightly with the jealous comment.

I sighed at her attempted humor and lead her upstairs to my bedroom. I knew better than doing this, but all my life it had never been not okay to be shirtless… Although I knew I had breasts, I thought that since Sam was trans it wouldn’t be a big deal or anything. Like I imagined girls would be in the locker room or something. So it wasn’t a big deal for me to strip my shirt off and stand there in front of Sam in just my sports bra and jeans. I held my arms out to the side and said, “Okay, here they are…”

Sam walked up and looked, and checked from different angles, she finally said, “Jordan your bra looks way too small… What size is it?”

I shrugged, “I think Mom said it’s an 34A or a double A… Or at least that’s what she sized me up a few weeks ago as. Maybe it’s shrunk from the wash or something…”

Sam shook her head and looked concerned, “Jordan I don’t think it’s shrunk, at least not by that much… That bra is way too tight Jordan. Take it off okay? We need to see what size you are… Does your mom have a tape measure?”

I nodded and told her where mom kept her sewing stuff and as Sam ran downstairs I pulled the offending item off. Immediately they felt better, and as much as I hated to admit that Sam was right, from the heft of them in my hands I knew they had grown. I was crossing my arms trying to cover my breasts, and at the same time massaging them trying to alleviate some of the ache when Sam came back in.

“Jordan, I know this might be weird, but I need to see them okay…”, She softly told me.

Now I was slightly upset and not at Sam, I knew she wanted to help but I was more upset at my condition. It seemed like every time I was able to come to some type of acceptance of where I was at, things suddenly changed. I knew it was probably the HGH in my shake, on top of the estrogen tablet in my hip. Knowing what was causing it didn’t help though. I sighed and sniffed, “This isn’t fair…”

Sam gently grabbed my arms and told me, “I know it’s not, trust me. I know life isn’t fair… Jordan look at me okay…”

I slowly raised my eyes to meet hers, and when I saw her expression I felt a shiver run through me. I was expecting to see pity in her eyes, but what I found was something else altogether. It was a fierce determination in her eyes, but no pity that I could see. I told her, “Okay… Now what?”

She smiled and giggled, “Okay… Now that I’ve got your attention.” I couldn’t help but smirk as she continued, “Jordan, I know you don’t want these… The thing is you have them, and until you decide what to do… You have to take care of them… I don’t want you to hurt yourself again…”

I nodded, “I know… I’m not trying to hurt myself… It’s just that this… This is happening too fast… It’s like as soon as I get adjusted to one of the changes, boom something else happens… I’m trying to play catch up… It’s just too fast Sam…”

Sam smiled sadly and told me, “I know… You’re not alone with this Jord.”

I told her, “I know, I’ve got a ton of people standing by my side I know that…”

She nodded, “Yeah you do… Now can I see? We need to find out what size you are now to see how much you’ve grown.”

I sighed and tried to joke, “Great… You know, I really don’t need to know that.” At Sam’s stern gaze I let my arms drop to my side. The way her eyes opened in surprise I started to cover myself when she spoke.

“Oh my God! Jordan… They’re perfect…”, she whispered in awe.

Needless to say, I blushed, and not just in my face. I felt not only my cheeks but also my shoulders and the top of my breasts flush. Sam quickly recovered and resumed to direct me so she could get my measurements. I guess to try to keep from embarrassing me any more, she did her best to keep from touching me anymore than she had to, so she could get my size. She did some quick figuring in her head and then said, “Jordan… From this… It looks like you’re a least a full B and possibly up to a small C right now I’m guessing… You need to get properly fitted… Or at least let your mom know that they’ve grown enough that you need some new bras.”

I groaned as I fell back to sit on the edge of my bed, “Dammit… Why? Why did this have to happen so fast?!”

Sam gently sat beside me on the bed and gently wrapped her arm around my shoulders. As I slightly leaned into her she softly said, “Jordan I know you don’t want this… You said that you can get them removed right? If that’s what you want that’s okay… Just consider your options…”

I nodded, “Yeah I can get them removed. They just won’t do anything with them until they’re done growing…Sam, you’ve seen how big my mom is. Since I take after her mostly I’ve still got a good bit to go before I’m finished growing… Of course, with them growing like they are right now, it might not take as long as I thought…”

She nodded, “Have you come any closer to having an idea what you’re going to do?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Not really… At first all I could think of was have them removed so I could stay a guy… Or at least as much of a guy as I could be with no testosterone and having to be on estrogen… That’s all I wanted, I hated the idea of this… Now… I don’t know Sam… I really don’t… The thought of living with this… And these… While I don’t want it… It isn’t scaring me as much as it did…”

She gave my hand a soft squeeze and said, “Are you thinking that you might try out the other side? I know I’m biased but there are a few benefits to being a girl over being a boy, or at least I think there is…”

Looking up I saw the look of concern on her face and sighed, “I know… I’ve been considering that more and more. I still don’t see myself as a girl.” I thought of something and chuckled softly.

Sam looked at me questioningly, “What’s funny?”

Glancing down at my chest I said smirking, “I just thought of how I always liked boobs… Now that I have my own… I just don’t see what’s so great about them now…”

Sam giggled, “I can see you’re point… I think you’re forgetting something though… I’ve seen some of your reactions to them… You remember that first kiss in the stairwell?”

Confused I raised my eyebrows, all I could remember was her reaction after she felt them. I told her, “Yeah… I just remember how upset you were…”

Sam blurted out, “Oh god no! That wasn’t what I was talking about… Jordan I’ll always be sorry for that… I was talking about right before that. The way you reacted when I first touched them…”

Trying hard to think about what she was talking about, I tell her, “I don’t remember…”

Sam thought for a moment then gently asked, “Jordan do you trust me to show you?”

Still remembering that moment and how she had reacted, I shrugged, “Go ahead… I trust you more than I trust anybody…”

She smiled and blushed slightly, I was trying to think of what she might do when she leaned over and gently kissed me. Her kiss caught me off guard, I definitely wasn’t expecting it, but who was I to complain. I quickly started kissing her back and as I felt her hands gently caress the bare skin on my sides my skin started tingling which caused me to gasp.

She broke from kissing me to glance down where my nipples were sticking straight out, when I realized it I felt my entire body flush. She asked breathlessly, “How does it feel now?” At my blush she smiled, and then asked, “Do you want me to stop?”

I quickly shook my head and leaned in to resume our kissing. I felt her smiling as our lips touched again, as we both renewed our efforts. Her hands more firmly grasped my sides and pulled me into her, which caused a soft moan to escape from my lips. I felt this need that I had ever felt in my life as I held on to Sam in desperation hoping she’d never stop how this felt. She paused from kissing me and leaned back just enough to look at me softly biting her lower lip. Out of desperation I pulled her back towards me and as she leaned back to kiss me she kept going and pushing me back down on my bed. Even as turned on as I was I started to protest, not because I didn’t want to. I desperately wanted to, but the last thing I wanted to do was go too far too fast.

I panted, “Sam… We can’t… What if my parents come home and we’re…?

Sam softly whispered as she nuzzled my ear, “I’m not taking my clothes off Jordan… We can hear them if they come in okay… Trust me on this… I don’t want us to go too far yet…”

She resumed to softly kiss along my jawline. I emitted a soft moan as I turned my head to kiss her again. She proceeded to place her legs on each side of me while we kissed. The intense need I felt I felt it in my entire body and as the soft cotton top gently brushed my nipples I groaned loudly. I was so focused on how that soft material felt gently rubbing my breasts I almost didn’t realized I felt her lips softly drag down my chin and down my neck. My brain was complete mush, all I could focus on was the intensity of every touch. It was driving me and my body to something I had never felt before. My body slightly jerked as I felt her lips circle around one of my nipples.

I couldn’t help myself, I placed my hands on her head and tried to gently direct her lips to one of my nipples. No sooner did her lips finally touch one, Sam’s lips gently wrapped around it and softly sucked it into her mouth. When I felt her tongue flicking the tip of it as her lips continued her gentle suckling the intensity that I was feeling erupted.

I felt my eyes roll back in my head as I pulled her head down as hard as I could onto my breast. As my body bucked with the intensity of everything I groaned out, “Ffff…UUUCKKK!!! Sam… Don’t… OH MY GOD!!!” that was the most intelligent thing I could say as the waves of pleasure rocked through my body as it continued its convulsions for what seemed like a half of an hour…

It was probably only more like a few minutes though. As my body quit shaking, Sam gently lay beside me. I was still trying to catch my breath but seeing Sam and how she was smiling back at me sent a shiver through me, in a good way. I mean in a very good way. I snuggled a bit closer to her enjoying this moment after I had… I guess I had an orgasm, at least that’s what I had read about. I honestly had never felt anything like this before.

A few quiet moments passed then Sam asked me while smiling, “So… Are you possibly seeing something positive about them now?” I couldn’t form the words yet, so I gently nodded. She smiled again and leaned over to kiss me gently. This wasn’t like our kissing before. Instead of where before it had been passionate and needy, this time was much softer.

She leaned back and looked at me with a peaceful expression on her face as her eyes danced all over looking at my expression. She then asked, “Does that help you come to a decision?”

I raised my eyebrows, and asked, “A decision? On what? Being a girl?”

She giggled and said, “No silly… Like I said if you do or don’t live as a girl, it doesn’t matter to me Jordan. I was meaning deciding if you still might want to have those removed… If you did remove them, what just happened probably wouldn’t happen again afterwards you know…”

I hadn’t thought about that, hell I hadn’t ever thought about how good these protrusions could have caused me to feel all of that. I simply said, “Oh…”

She told me, “Look I’m not trying to make you decide one way or the other. I’m really not… I just wanted to give you something to think about… That moment when I touched them in the stairwell… I kept thinking that you might have had a…”

I blurt out, “No!”

She looked confused, “No? You didn’t… You know? When I touched them before?”

I responded, “No… I mean yes, I did… Or I think I did…”

She asked, “Then what?”

I blushed a bit at how forceful the realization was, and then told her, “No… I don’t want them removed…”

She smiled broadly, then gently leaned down to kiss me again.

To be continued.

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