Jacinta, part 16

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“Oh god…” I moan as I open my eyes and am greeted by the bright sunlight and the oppressive heat of the room I’m in. “Oh- oh god!” I try to huddle my covers around me in a vain attempt to sleep away my hangover, but when all that does is make me even hotter, I slowly roll out of the bed, landing in a heap not on the floor, but on top of the unmoving form of the woman who was my classmate for the last three years.

“Katie?” I grunt, rolling off the freckled girl’s body and giving her a shake. “You still alive?”

“Uhh…” Katie feebly moans, briefly raising her forearm before allowing it to flop back onto the floor.

“What- oh god, what did we drink last night?” I whine. “How much did we drink?”

“How much DIDN’T we drink?” Katie croaks. “We- we didn’t have sex last night, did we?”

“Oh- oh god, I hope not,” I gasp.

“Thanks,” Katie snorts.

“…Yeah, ‘cause we’re both such rampaging lesbians, aren’t we?” I retort.

“How did we even get home?” Katie moans.

“I think other Katie bundled us into the boot of a car,” I grunt. “Or tied us to the roof rack, I dunno.”

“I could go for a roof rack right now,” Katie moans as I try to remember the details of the previous night- but try as I might, all I can remember is the evening a few weeks ago, when I made a decision that I may well come to regret.

I’d travelled to Cardiff on the Friday evening, as I’d done several times following the end of my studies. I was greeted at the station by Lee, as usual, and driven back to his house (in a car, rather than being mounted on the front of an electric go-kart). There, we caught up, ate dinner, played some videogames… And I explained to him that we’d grown apart, we had very little in common, and that it’d be best if we started to see other people.

Lee took it surprisingly well- certainly better than I would have. I still think he was surprised to have been able to get a girlfriend at all- ‘sarcastic know-it-all nerd who builds electric gizmos in his free time’ isn’t exactly going to grab many people’s attention on match.com. But when you get past the ‘Sheldon Cooper on steroids’ exterior, Lee was sweet, very funny and very ‘eager to please’ in bed. And related to that last point, he had absolutely no hang-ups about being with a transgendered girl- something which is still far rarer than it should be. He’d make someone a great boyfriend- it’s just that that person isn’t me.

I’m not naïve enough to believe that ‘love at first sight’ wasn’t invented by Walt Disney in order to sell cartoons, but I always thought that ‘love at somethingth sight’ was a thing, that there’d be a point where I’d find myself falling for the man of my dreams, even if he was someone I’d known for a while- and that it’d take considerably less than six months for that to happen. With Lee, however, that feeling, that ‘spark’ never happened no matter much I tried to make it, and while it was certainly fun, it wasn’t ‘love’, much like it wasn’t with Simon.

Ophelia, Katie and the rest of my friends were all critical of this decision, of course. Ophelia correctly pointed out that Lee made me laugh a lot, Lauren correctly pointed out that it took me ages to get with someone after splitting from Simon, and Katie pointed out that being single will make me sulky and miserable within weeks. While I can’t say for certain that Katie’s prediction will turn out to be as accurate as the other two, I can definitely see why she’d think so.

Fortunately, I’ve had plenty to occupy my time since finishing my studies, and I don’t just mean going out, partying and getting drunk (though I have been doing quite a lot of that as well). A lot of my time has been spent applying for jobs, sending my resume and portfolio to numerous different agencies and magazines and attending interviews (sitting around for hours at a time in a skirt suit and heels was NOT fun in the heat we’ve been having in England). While I’ve had no firm job offers yet, I’ve had a lot of interest, even though these companies know that I wouldn’t be able to take up any paid role until the start of September, because I’ll be spending most of the summer recovering from an operation- an operation I’ve been waiting my whole life to have.

Yes, in just a few weeks’ time, I will finally be going under the knife and becoming a full, (externally) anatomically correct woman. My lifelong dream will at least be realised, and while I am in equal parts excited and anxious- it will be a lot of pain and a long recovery, after all- there’s a part of me that almost wishes I wasn’t having it done, mainly because I won’t have ‘Prince Charming’ to help me through it all.

I’ll have all my friends around me, of course, and dad has said he’ll come up to London as often as he can (and I do plan on spending some time recovering at home in Brighton too), but it’s not the same. When Nikki had her SRS, she had Sarah to help, when our friends Jamie and Stuart had SRS, they had each other, and when our friend Paige had her SRS, she had her fiancée Jessica to help her through it (and the reverse will be true when Jessica goes in for her SRS). I’ve been repeatedly cautioned not to feel like I’ll be a burden to my friends while I recover, particularly by Nikki, who’s looking forward to ‘repaying’ a lot of the attention she got two years ago, but I can’t help but feel like I’ll be a bed-ridden third wheel to anyone charged with ‘babysitting’ me- particularly my BFF and her husband, whose relationship seems to grow stronger with every passing day.

However, before my SRS, I can at least kick back and relax with my friends. This year, all six of us have gone on holiday to America- easily our biggest ever trip as a group (previous trips have only been to the beach at Brighton, though we did go to Reading Festival together last August), and I am determined to relax and enjoy the rest, the heat and, as you can tell from my apocalyptic hangover, a lot of alcohol. However, any hope of forgetting about being single is going to be difficult, as we’re in America to celebrate the wedding of two of our friends who I met last year. Like 'Snikki', Alexa and Jenny- or, as they're known, 'Jexy'- are a transgendered girl and a 'biological' girl who have fallen in love as the latter guided the former through their transition. Their counsellor put them in touch with 'Snikki' last Spring, and they've quickly become part of the family. They invited the rest of us to the wedding, and we all accepted the invitation- even if we weren't expecting it to be as warm as it is!

“Ah- not dead then,” Jenny and Alexa’s best friend, who is also confusingly called Katie, says with a smirk as ‘our’ Katie (who’s agreed to be known as ‘Hendo’ for the duration of the trip) and I step into the vast house’s equally vast garden, wincing as we’re hit with a wall of heat.

“Give it a few minutes,” Hendo grunts as we make our way to a table where some of our friends are sat, including two- well, technically three- of our friends from London.

“Oh, hey girls!” Jamie says, greeting myself and Hendo with gentle one-armed hugs (her other arm being occupied with her infant daughter). “Wondered if you two would ever regain consciousness, heh.”

“Were we THAT bad last night?” I groan.

“Well, you could’ve be worse,” Lauren says, giggling as she fiddles with her phone- something that makes the two brides-to-be extremely nervous! “You could’ve been singing!” Hendo and I watch on intently as Lauren plays a video from last night of Alexa and Jenny on a stage, singing ‘I Got You Babe’ by Sonny & Cher. While the attention of everyone on the patio is focussed on the increasingly-embarrassed brides to be, mine is focussed on the video itself, and the very obvious and genuine look of love between the two women.

To say Alexa and Jenny are an unlikely couple is putting it mildly- the latter is an almost stereotypical American socialite, tall, blonde and slender, coming from an extremely rich family and who could in theory have any guy (or girl) she wanted. Alexa, on the other hand, comes from a blue-collar family from a small town, who grew up playing videogames, watching American Football- and, more significantly, grew up as a boy. None of this stopped ‘Jexy’ (as the two of them are known) from developing a mutual love stronger than most couples I know, even giving ‘Snikki’ a run for their money. Their love is certainly stronger than I’ve ever experienced in any relationship I’ve been in…

“…And that wasn’t all,” Lauren says, showing us a video of the couple singing 'Endless Love' and numerous other embarrassing videos from the night.

After ‘Jexy’s ritual humiliation is complete, Jamie & Stuart take over the conversation and start regaling us with tales of their trip to New York. As fascinating as their tales are (I’ve always wanted to visit the Big Apple), I quietly slip away to a shaded area of the patio, where my BFF is inelegantly slumped on a sun lounger and looking very much the worse for wear.

“Hey,” I whisper as I drag a chair over to the shade. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you hungover before, heh.”

“I am suffering more from the heat than the alcohol,” Ophelia retorts, her affected posh accent wavering due to her malaise. “You know I do not mix well with it.”

“Heat or alcohol?” I ask, before shaking my head. “Never mind, I know the answer to that question is ‘both’. I don’t need to ask what the real reason for you being under the weather is though, do I?”

“Indeed you do not,” Ophelia replies, smiling weakly as she reveals that she has her phone in one of her hands, and on the screen is Facebook chat with her husband. Judging by the length of the scroll bar, it’s a chat that’s been going at least all morning.

"He'll be here Saturday," I say softly. "You know he'd feel out of place in the whole 'extended hen several nights' thing, so would Lauren's Michael, that's why they're coming later."

"Stuart's here today," Ophelia retorts.

"Umm..." I say. "He's, umm, with his family...? Yeah, he's with his family, helping Jamie, like, umm, with Olivia?"

"If you say so," Ophelia mumbles, making me fidget awkwardly- something I almost never do when I'm talking with my BFF.

“Are you- are you all prepared with the dress?” I ask, trying to make my BFF’s mind off of her absent husband.

“Everything is ready,” Ophelia replies, smirking at the thought of her handiwork. “Including Alexa and Jenny’s waists.”

“I was about to say,” I tease as I gaze at Ophelia's obviously un-corseted waist. “You’re looking ‘fuller’ then usual. Sure your feeling ill isn’t down to just the heat?”

“Shut up,” Ophelia replies, letting out a gentle, tired giggle. “If I was pregnant you would know about it, as I would be screaming at the top of my lungs for being so much like my sisters.”

“For being pregnant at 21?” I tease. “Most of your sisters are grandparents by 21, aren’t they?”

“It would not surprise me,” Ophelia chuckles. “Though if I may be serious, Telemachus and I have indeed discussed having children.”

“Even though he’s still a teenager himself?” I ask, before sighing. “Never mind, forgot for a second that you two got married when you had a combined age of 38.”

“We have even chosen names,” Ophelia says. “If our first child is a girl, we shall name her Andromeda.”

“That’s appropriate,” I nod. “With your middle name being ‘Cassiopeia’.”

“Precisely our thinking,” Ophelia says. “Should our first child be a boy, we shall name him Odysseus.”

“…The father of Telemachus?” I ask.

“Exactly,” Ophelia says. “Telemachus’s first choice for the child’s name was actually Jason, but I explained to him how that would not be appropriate given the circumstances.”

“Oh- trust me, I wouldn’t mind,” I say.

“It might be awkward when you are the child’s godmother,” Ophelia says with a smirk.

“…I did kinda wonder,” I say as my cheeks start to redden, but what Ophelia says next nearly tips me over the edge.

“…The ONLY godparent,” my BFF whispers softly, drawing tears from my eyes.

“Oh- oh god, O…” I mumble.

“I made an argument for your father being a godparent too,” Ophelia says, “but we agreed that for our firstborn, the role of godparent should be occupied by immediate family.” Naturally, this use of the term ‘immediate family’ from a woman with four sisters opens my tear ducts even wider.

“Oh- ugh, thank god I’m not wearing that much make-up,” I say, fanning myself with my hands to try to calm myself down. “Obviously I’ll return the favour. If I ever have kids, heh. Or even get married…”

“I am absolutely certain that you will,” Ophelia says with a warm smile. “In fact, I have already designed your wedding dress. And my maid of honour dress, if that isn’t being too presumptive?”

“Not at all!” I giggle, taking a deep breath to compose myself. “The only presumption is whether or not you’ll be knocked up by then, heh.”

“We do not plan on having children until both Telemachus and I are 25,” Ophelia says. “Six years should be more than enough time to find your ‘Prince Charming’, shouldn’t it?”

“You’d think,” I snort, before sighing. “Who knows? Maybe on this trip I’ll find myself a nice, hunky American boy who hasn’t got any hang-ups about my- well, my ‘hang-on’?”

“Here are three right now,” Ophelia says with a smirk as two middle-aged men emerge onto the patio, followed by a very good-looking younger man- who, naturally, makes his way straight over to American Katie to gives her a long, deep kiss before heading off to talk to the other men (who had dragged Stuart off toward the dock) while I head over to talk to my American friends.

"So that's the famous Danny," I tease my newest friend. “I can see why you were such a good girl in London, Katie. He is CUTE!” I glance over to Alexa, expecting some smart-arsed response about him being her brother, but much to my surprise, it's Jenny who speaks up.

“He’s just our meathead brother," the blonde woman says with a snort of laughter. "But... Katie has brought him a long way.” Katie and I giggle as this triggers a cute moment between the two soon-to-be-brides, which was soon interrupted by the arrival of Alexa's mother and cousin (who, as a 16 year old girl, immediately started gushing over Jamie) and, worst of all, yet more heat.

Eventually, the temperature gets the better of us and we retreat into the house, where Jenny mercifully switches on the air conditioning unit. While we try to relax away the last of our hangovers, Jamie takes her daughter upstairs for a nap, being followed every step of the way by Alexa’s cousin!

“Ahh,” I moan as I slump back on one of the room’s plush sofas. “How is it so hot?”

“And humid?” Hendo moans, showing off her ponytail, which has gained a lot of volume over the course of our time outside!

“If it makes you feel any better,” Alexa replies, “in winter it can sometimes get down to minus five, heh.”

“…That’s not THAT cold,” Hendo mumbles.

“Fahrenheit,” Sarah clarifies. “Which is about minus twenty Celsius.”

“…Okay,” Hendo says with a tired chuckle. “I’m glad I visited in summer then!”

“I’m just glad you were all able to visit at all,” Alexa says with a happy sigh. “You don’t know how much it means to me to have you all here.”

“Oh- can we save some sappiness for the wedding, please?” Nikki asks, giggling as her American counterpart playfully hurls a cushion at her.

“Trust me,” American Katie chuckles. “Knowing these two, there’ll be PLENTY of it!”

“Just hope our dresses will be able to live up to the event!” Lauren giggles.

“You were there when they tried them on,” Sarah chuckles. “How soaked did the carpet get with their tears? Trust me, they’ll do!”

“They’ll more than do!” Jenny giggles as she cuddles her fiancée close to her.

“Ahh…” American Katie sighs happily. “Don’t suppose I could put in an order while you’re all here, could I?” All the girls- myself included- squeak excitedly as the curvy girl shows off the sparkling ring on her left hand.

“I am sure we can fit you in somewhere,” Ophelia says with a grin.

“Though there is a bit of a queue at the moment!” Lauren chuckles. “Let’s see… In August we’ve got Jessica and Paige, then at the end of the month there’s Krystie and Mikey, then you’ve got Danny and Rachel, Becca and Riley, Adeola and Marco- that’s a lot of dresses, hehe!”

“I think you might have forgotten someone…” Hendo teases as she reaches over, grabs her BFF’s left hand and forcibly shows off the ring on her finger. Naturally, this causes Lauren to blush with embarrassment as the other girls all excitedly squeak again.

“…Yes, but me and Michael aren’t planning on actually getting married until 2020,” Lauren feebly retorts, before sighing heavily. “And yes, you are all invited.” Naturally, this elicits a cheer from all present! “We’re planning on having the ceremony in summer in Cyprus,” Lauren continues. “My father’s mother was originally from there, and we might just give you two a run for your money for ‘hottest wedding ever’, heh!”

“I’ll be sure to pack my deep freeze,” Nikki giggles as she fans herself with a magazine. “God… Seems like everyone’s either getting hitched or hitched already, heh!” Yeah… Not quite everyone, I think to myself.

“We are lucky to have found our perfect mates so early in life,” Ophelia says, casting me a sympathetic glance as she, like always, seems to sense what I’m thinking.

“You can say that again,” Alexa says softly as she eases back into her fiancée’s embrace. A tired but not awkward silence fills the room as we relax, the ‘taken’ women in the room obviously thinking about their respective partners while I, obviously, don’t.

I don’t doubt that Ophelia has a wedding dress designed for me, or that the other girls would jump at the chance to be my bridesmaids, or that dad would love to walk me down the aisle, or that my own wedding would be anything other than perfect. Well, perfect in all but one regard- the identity of the groom.

I’m fairly sure that if we’d stayed together long enough to become ‘serious’, Lee would’ve eventually ended up proposing to me, as would Simon. I’m sure the wedding would’ve been a beautiful, elaborate affair people would remember forever. And I’m also sure neither marriage would’ve lasted any time at all as neither boy was in any danger of being ‘Prince Charming’. As much as I may want to, I can’t force someone to be my soul mate any more than I could force myself to live as a male. I just have to hope that my true ‘Prince Charming’ is out there, somewhere…

“Finally had enough of the heat, huh?” Charlotte- Alexa’s mother- asks as she re-enters the living room and discovers us all sprawled out.

“Oh, I doubt it's the heat that's the problem,” Jamie teases as she also re-enters the room, earning tired, angry glares from all nine of us.

“Are you girls STILL suffering?” Charlotte chides us, transforming our angry glares into guilty looks, with none of us looking guiltier than Alexa herself. “I thought so. What you girls need is a good, filling lunch! I’m sure I saw some ham in the kitchen…” Naturally, this offer causes my stomach to churn- and not just mine, going by the colour draining from my friends’ faces.

“Noooo!” All of us yell, before descending into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

Despite our protests, Charlotte (with her son’s help) prepares us a nourishing lunch of ham sandwiches, and despite some initial protests from my stomach, I do start to feel better once I’ve cleaned my plate. After lunch, the nine of us gradually split into smaller groups, with Sarah, Jenny and American Katie cooing over the recently-returned Olivia while Nikki, Alexa and I squirrel ourselves away in a quiet corner of the room. Naturally, wedding talk dominates the conversation at first, but it soon changes to something a little more ‘personal’ for me.

“…And it’s a good thing the wedding’s so soon after the end of uni,” Nikki says, casting a teasing look in my direction. “Miss Hanley may have been a bit too laid up if you’d waited a couple more weeks!”

“Ah- yeah, I had heard!” Alexa giggles. “Congratulations, Jacinta! Are you nervous?”

“Just a bit, yeah!” I chuckle, nervously scratching my head. “Are- are you booked in yet?”

“Not yet,” Alexa said, shaking her head. “I want to get settled in working at the Foundation first before I ask them for weeks of sick leave, heh!”

“I’m kinda doing it the other way,” I chuckle. “Getting ‘done’ first, then starting a job, heh. Assuming I get offered a job anyway.”

“They’d be morons not to hire you,” Nikki says with a supportive smile.

“I’m surprised Heavenly Talent didn’t offer you a job,” Alexa says.

“They only had one vacancy for an in-house photographer,” I explain. “Hendo got there first. Before she’d even started uni, heh. But I’ve had a lot of interest, and having contacts at Heavenly Talent certainly helped, heh!”

“You are SO lucky to have so many friends,” Alexa says softly.

“Umm, excuse me?” Nikki says. “’You’? I think you mean WE are so lucky to have these friends, right?”

“My mistake,” Alexa says with a happy giggle. “But my point is, you know, when you have your SRS, you’re going to have everyone around you, the whole ‘family’.”

“And when you go in, you’ll have Jenny,” I retort. My American friend opens her mouth to speak, but instead simply sighs and nods.

“True,” Alexa concedes. “Have- have you talked to Paige about it yet? I’m hoping to talk to her when she gets here, you know, ‘cause her operation is ‘fresh’.”

“No offence taken,” Nikki says with a playful derisive snort that earns a stuck out tongue from her American counterpart.

“You know what I mean,” Alexa sighs. “I mean- it’s a lot of pain to put myself through. I need to know if, you know, it’ll be worth it in the end.”

“And as I’ve told you- both of you- a million times, the answer is ‘yes’,” Nikki says, crossing one leg tightly over the other and grinning widely. “Two years and zero regrets. Some boys are just born to be beautiful, successful women, and us three definitely fall into that category, hehe!”

“Hell yeah we do!” Alexa cheers, before grinning as her fiancée approaches and gives her a gentle kiss, before snuggling down next to her.

“So…” Jenny teases with an excited grin. “What are we talking about?”

“Major surgery,” Alexa replies.

“Aren’t you glad you asked?” Nikki teases, giggling as she gets a tongue stuck out at her by the other half of ‘Jexy’.

“I’ve already spoken about it plenty with Sarah anyway,” Jenny replies. “About how to be a good ‘nurse’ for my Lex when she’s laid up, hehe!”

“If you’re going to talk about costumes now, I think I’d better leave,” I say with a smirk. “I still have nightmares about what Jamie told me when she was recovering from her SRS, heh.”

“…Nah, we don’t kiss and tell,” Alexa giggles. “Or ‘kiss and show’ either, hehe!”

“Glad to hear it!” I chuckle. “I’m glad London Fashion Week is September, though, so when I get my job and am eventually sent off round the world, the first trip won’t involve any bumpy plane rides, heh.”

“You want to enjoy those while they last?” Jenny teases. “That… Can probably be arranged, hehe!” The grin spreading across Alexa’s face tells me that she knows what her fiancée has in mind, though I’m obviously still none the wiser.

“…You haven’t got a rollercoaster hidden in your garden, have you?” I ask.

“Almost as good,” Jenny giggles.

A short while later, after some persuading by Jenny of her uncle, all of us girls (minus Ophelia, who was still suffering in the heat, and Sarah, who'd been charged with babysitting Olivia) are laid out on the deck of a very fancy boat, and as I soak up more rays, I'm forced to wonder just how rich Jenny's family is!

Eventually, I get chatting to a nice young woman who I learn is Alexa's older brother's ex-girlfriend, but just as we get deep into our conversation, everyone on deck becomes distracted by a pillar of smoke coming from a nearby golf course. I think nothing of this at first, but that soon changes as the brides-to-be suddenly start panicking and I realise that tomorrow's rehearsal dinner has just suddenly been cancelled.

The mood remains low for the rest of the journey back to the Thompson household, but almost before we step back onto the land, Jenny's family is around her, assuring her and Alexa that everything will be alright, that Jenny's father has used his considerable influence to smooth things out and that nothing will take the wedding off-schedule.

After a delicious barbecue dinner prepared by Jenny's uncle, most of us decide to stay outside and enjoy the cooler evening air accompanied by several alcoholic beverages- though nowhere near as many as last night!

The following morning, I am once again woken by the summer heat, though today it thankfully isn’t accompanied by alcohol-induced brain damage (at least, not as bad as last night's). After showering, putting on my makeup and covering up with a loose, short summer dress, I head back to my room and check my phone for any incoming Facebook messages. With Lauren and Ophelia both busy today working on the dresses, and Nikki, Sarah and American Katie busy with bridesmaid duties, it leaves me and English Katie at a loose end. We’ve already made plans to look around the twin cities today, but as the old saying goes, the more the merrier- or, to word it slightly differently, you can never have too many friends!

“Hey,” Hendo says, casually entering the room in her loose, light tank top and trademark denim shorts. “Anyone else free today, then?”

“I’m just checking now,” I reply. “And thanks for knocking, by the way.”

“Oh whatever,” Hendo snorts. “Nothing I’ve never seen before. Oh- umm…” My friend’s eyes go wide as she realises what she’s said, warming my heart at the thought that even after three years, she doesn’t think of me as a ‘transwoman’, but just a ‘woman’.

“It’s fine, I know what you mean,” I say softly. “Though I would prefer that you knock even after SRS. Heh, something I’VE never seen before!”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Hendo chuckles.

“Kinda why I’m hoping Jessica and Paige are free today,” I say. “Want to talk to Paige about how, you know, the recovery’s coming along.”

“Couldn’t you have talked to her in London?” Hendo asks, sitting down on the corner of my bed.

“Sure, if I didn’t mind completely botching my degree,” I reply. “Not all of us are guaranteed firsts, you know?”

“Ehh- sorry, sorry,” my freckled friend grimaces as an awkward silence fills the room. “…And I know what you’re thinking, I don’t mind you saying it.”

“Don’t know what you mean,” I untruthfully mumble.

“Guaranteed firsts and guaranteed jobs?” Hendo sighs. “It’s okay, I kinda agree with you, I’ve worked hard but I have been lucky too. Heh, sometimes wonder where I’d be today if I hadn’t made friends with Nikki that first day of college.”

“Yeah, I kinda wonder the same thing about Ophelia,” I reply. “And about what life’d be like if you hadn’t made friends with me that first day of uni.”

“Oh- well, we’d have met eventually,” Hendo says. “I mean, you’d still have joined the LGBT society, right? So you’d be friends with Sarah at least, like Annie, Petra or Aaron.”

“I guess,” I shrug. “They’re not here in America though, are they?”

“No they aren’t,” Hendo chuckles. “But we are. And I want to see more of it today! So… Any responses from any other like-minded people?”

“One from England, one from Scotland, one from France and one from this country,” I reply with a smug grin. “Assuming you don’t mind being outnumbered 4-2 by trans girls?”

“No, but I definitely don’t mind outnumbering boys 6-0, hehe!” Hendo replies with a giggle as I slip my feet into a pair of comfortable flip-flops, grab my handbag and follow my friend down to where our taxi is waiting.

A short while later, we pull up outside the Minneapolis Convention Center, where we’re greeted by our four flight attendant (or former flight attendant) friends. After the customary round of hugs, we set about exploring the city centre, marvelling at the historic and modern landmarks- especially the skyways, the likes of which neither Hendo nor I have ever seen before. Naturally, Jessica appoints herself as our resident tour guide on the grounds that as an American, she’s the most qualified. She isn’t deterred when it’s pointed out that as she was born and raised over a thousand miles away from Minneapolis, it’s a bit like me saying I could show someone around Rome as I’m also from Europe.

Thanks to our group’s slow pace (and the oppressive heat), we don’t see as many sights as we’d planned during the morning, though I’m certainly okay with the slow pace as it gives me the chance to talk to the person responsible for it.

“You okay on the steps?” I ask my Scottish friend, before frowning as my innocent question is met with four angry glares- none angrier than that of Paige herself. “Umm… Sorry…?”

“I don’t need pity,” Paige growls as she hauls herself up the stairs, grunting in pain all the way and letting out a sigh as she reaches the top. “I- I’m sorry, Jacinta, it’s just- I dunno. I thought I’d be better now than I am, you know, more independent?”

“Yeah, you kinda just inadvertently stomped on a really sensitive area there,” Natalie says softly. “Metaphorically speaking, of course!”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “An area that’s gonna be more than a little sensitive for me in a few weeks, heh.”

“Oh- aye, sorry, I forgot,” Paige chuckles. “Guessing you have a few questions, then?”

“About a hundred,” I say with a nervous laugh. “I mean, yes, I’ve asked Nikki and Jamie plenty, but, you know…”

“You want to ask someone a bit ‘fresher’?” Paige asks.

“Someone who isn’t looking at the whole thing through rose-tinted glassed,” I say with a nod.

“Aye, I can understand that,” Paige says “You know our friend Anna-Jade? Ginger haired, Irish, says the word fuck a lot?”

“Used to go out with Paul Kennedy?” I ask, earning a nod from Paige. “Yeah, has she recently had SRS?”

“A few months before me,” Paige says. “And I could see how much pain she was in at first, and it made me wonder, you know, is it worth it?”

“…And?” I ask expectantly.

“Worth every second,” Paige replies with a grin. “’Cause I know the pain will last. But- well, you know, ‘it’- ‘it’ won’t. It’s here for good, where it was always supposed to be.”

“And- you know, is it- is ‘it’ different?” I ask.

“It does take some getting used to,” Paige confesses. “But it feels, you know, right? Like I was always meant to be this way.”

“Because you WERE,” Jessica says, giving her fiancée a gentle cuddle. “…And I think we’d better change the topic of conversation before Katie’s face gets any redder, heh!”

“I’m not embarrassed, it’s just the heat,” Hendo mumbles, before giggling. “Okay, maybe a little… I do get why it’s important, though. Getting rid of, you know, any ‘awkwardness’…”

“That’s as a good a name for it as I’ve ever heard!” I giggle.

"And I have to agree with something Jamie said once," Jessica says contemplatively. "So many people see SRS as having something removed. I don't. I see it as having something added. You don't 'lose' something you never wanted in the first place, do you?"

"I guess not," Hendo giggles as my phone bleeps to notify me of a new text message.

"That's our singers for tomorrow," I chuckle. "You guys still okay with picking them up from the airport?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jessica giggles, gesturing to her hip, which I know bears the same tattoo as my shoulder and our soon-to-be-arriving friend's thigh. I giggle as well as we head to where our friends cars are parked, and soon we're heading toward the Minneapolis-St. Paul international airport, where we leave our multinational friends in the car park before heading into the concourse to wait for our friends.

“You feeling okay?” I ask my friend, who replies with a quizzical stare. “I mean, you know, talk of SRS and all that? Bet you never thought THAT would be a regular topic of conversation when you were fifteen, right?”

“Heh, not really,” Hendo replies. “But I don’t mind it, you know? And not just ‘cause we’re stood here about to greet two of the most famous singers in England like old friends.”

“I will admit, that would be kind-of a perk!” I chuckle.

“And it’s not like, you know, me and Lauren haven’t talked about ‘girl problems’ before,” Hendo muses. “Just of a different kind, heh. Be thankful you don’t have THAT to look forward to!”

“I dunno,” I shrug.

“Seriously?” Hendo asks. “Even after all the times you’ve had to deal with me being a pain in the arse every month?”

“Oh- yeah, ‘cause hormones have turned me into a perpetually happy sugar plum fairy, haven’t they?” I retort. “Yes, I get that it’s a pain, but it’s, you know, a reminder that I’ll never be ‘whole’. That’s ‘whole’ with a W at the start before you say anything.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Hendo says with mock innocence. “Think it, maybe, but not say it!” I open my mouth to retort, but the only sound that leaves my mouth is a squeak of excitement as I spot two young women walking toward us dragging big, heavy-looking suitcases.

“Hey you two!” I giggle, greeting Stephanie and Kayla with a tight hug each"

“Hi!” Stephanie says in an obviously tired voice. “God, that was a long flight!”

"Ugh, tell me about it!" I say, letting out a light sigh as I escort the two singers back to our car.

After dropping Steph and Kayla off at their hotel, we’re driven back to the Thompson household where Hendo and I touch up our makeup before changing out of our casual clothes into fancier, more expensive (but still lightweight due to the heat) dresses and elegant, feminine high-heeled shoes. Even though dinner tonight is in the Thompson household, it will be from a very fancy local restaurant favoured by Alexa and Jenny, and as they'll have just returned from their wedding rehearsal (and this is technically their rehearsal dinner), we do have appearances to keep up!

Unsurprisingly, the Italian food was amazing (and made my dress feel particularly tight, especially after an excellent tiramisu dessert), and after the dishes are cleared away we head back to our rooms, the general consensus being that an early night is best- especially considering what’s happening tomorrow!

I let out a loud yawn as my phone’s alarm wakes me early the following morning, followed by a sigh as I pad through to the shower to get ready for the day ahead. Today will be the fifth wedding I’ll have attended in the last eighteen months, and while it’ll undoubtedly be as beautiful as the previous ceremonies, it’s going to be yet another reminder that I’m as far away from my own wedding day as I was the day I was born.

I’m not going to let this get me down, of course- I have every intention of enjoying the wedding as much as I did Nikki and Sarah’s, or Natalie and Zoe’s, or even Telemachus and Ophelia's but I’m still going to be very conscious of the fact that I’m going to be one of very few single people at the wedding. This feeling is only enhanced when I head down to the kitchen to discover two new, yet familiar faces sat at the breakfast table.

“Morning!” Michael- Lauren’s boyfriend- says between mouthfuls of waffles.

“Good morning, Jacinta,” Telemachus politely says as he tucks into his equally delicious-smelling breakfast.

“Hey guys!” I say with a smirk. “What time did you get in?”

“Just over two hours ago,” Telemachus replies. “We thought it was best not to wake Ophelia and Lauren, especially as they will have a busy day today.”

“I was about to ask where your MUCH better halves are!” I giggle as I pour myself some coffee. “And I take it you locked the front door when you left the flat?”

“Yes, and your father and Sarah’s mother will be checking in until our return on Monday,” Telemachus replies, reminding me of another development in my life that I’m having difficulty believing- the fledgling romance between my ‘loves football and pub quizzes and works in a computer store’ father and Sarah’s ‘highly respected and well-paid psychiatrist’ mother. Still, if it makes him happy…

“Ah, there you are!” Lauren practically purrs as she sneaks into the kitchen and wraps her arms around her fiancé, before giving him a long, deep kiss on his lips and planting herself in his lap. “Didn’t feel like texting me to let me know you’d landed safely?”

“No, ‘cause I know you don’t like to be woken by your phone and I like my face the shape it currently is,” Michael replies, triggering a happy giggle from his fiancée.

“Ahh,” Lauren sighs happily as she picks at Michael’s breakfast. “Kat- sorry, I mean is Hendo up yet?”

“Wasn’t when I came down,” I reply. “How about Ophelia?” Despite myself, I let out a small giggle as Telemachus immediately perks up at the mention of his wife’s name.

“Already up and checking the stitching on the corsets,” Lauren chuckles. “Thought it was best to leave her to it, heh. As for the brides… Well, we’ll find out in a bit, hehe!”

“Yep!” I chuckle.

“You know, I was just thinking,” Michael muses. “3 out of the last 4 weddings I’ve been to- well, including this one- have had no grooms. Same goes for the next one we’re going to as well.”

“The gender of a person should make no difference to the person with whom they fall in love,” Telemachus says. “I did not know who I would fall in love with until I met Ophelia, for example.”

“Meh, not everyone’s lucky enough to fall in love at first sight,” Lauren shrugs. “We didn’t- our relationship had more than a few bumps before we realised we were perfect for each other, heh. I know Snikki started off slowly, and from what I understand, so did Jexy.” And then there’s so slow you’re having difficulty getting past ‘stop’, I think to myself as the topic of conversation turns back to today’s celebrations.

After breakfast I head back to my room to get changed, while Lauren, Michael and Telemachus head off to put the finishing touches on the dresses (or, in the boys’ case, ‘supervise’ the finishing touches). Obviously, I know better than to upstage the brides on their big day, so the dress I opt for is plain and a pale pink colour, but is still very flattering to my figure, especially when I slip my feet into a pair of matching slim stiletto heels and pin a dainty fascinator to my hair.

“Ooh, looking hot Miss Hanley!” Hendo giggles as she enters the room, looking very elegant in her own smart dress and heels.

“Yeah, figured I’d take the opportunity before I spend the next month in either a hospital gown or pyjamas, heh,” I reply.

“Oh, you’ll be looking hot long before that,” Hendo reassures me with a grin.

“Doubt any boy who sees me laid up with half a roll of gauze hanging out of my nethers will agree,” I retort. “But, after a few months, once they’ve healed and look, well, like they’re supposed to, then maybe then.”

“’Maybe’ then?” Hendo teases. “You mean to tell me you’re not going to jump on top of the first fit guy you see?”

“Well let’s face facts,” I sigh. “That’s not exactly worked for me so far, has it? I mean yes, I had fun with Lee, and with Simon, but, you know? I look at Nikki and Sarah, and Alexa and Jenny…”

“And what’s wrong with ‘fun’?” Hendo asks with mock offence. “Friendly reminder that I’m just as single as you are. And just ‘cause all our friends are engaged or married, doesn’t mean we should feel we need to be, right?”

“Umm- okay, I guess,” I mumble.

“Honestly, this obsession you’ve got with ‘Prince Charming’ really ain’t helping you, you know?” Hendo muses, making me frown and blush. “You’ll find him when you find him. No reason to let any other ‘Prince Less Charming’s go in the meantime.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t have chucked Lee?” I ask.

“…Yes and no,” Hendo says, before sighing. “Don’t- don’t define yourself by whether or not you’re in a relationship, okay? Not when you’ve got so many other things going for you. And before you say anything, you WILL get a job soon. And the boyfriend you deserve. Just- flaunt what you’ve got, okay?”

“Well- okay…” I reply. “Kinda tough when we’re at a wedding though, heh.”

“Oh, it’s gonna be painful today,” Hendo says. “But when we get back to London, and you’re back on your feet, the two of us are gonna go out, and every single guy in London is gonna want us, right?”

“Right,” I say, my confidence slowly returning.

“And not all of them will be ‘Prince Charming’ for either of us,” Hendo says. “Doesn’t mean they’re not good for SOMETHING. And hell, maybe there’ll be a single American guy here today?”

“…At a same-sex wedding between two women?” I retort.

“No reason why not,” Hendo shrugs as she touches up her lipstick, grinning at her completed look in the mirror. “So come on, MISS Hanley. Don’t want to be late, do we?”

“Hell no!” I giggle, following my friend out of the room and down to the garden of the vast house, where the other guests were beginning to congregate.

The ceremony itself is a truly beautiful event. Both brides look stunning, and the love they share is plain for all to see. Less plain is the fact that one of the brides wasn’t born female- between Nikki’s hair and make-up job, Sarah and Lauren’s dress and Ophelia’s corset, Alexa cuts just as feminine a figure as her new wife- as, for that matter, do I.

Hendo’s words are still on my mind as afternoon turns into evening and the wedding reception gets into full swing. As I predicted, most of the attendees at the wedding are girls, but there are still plenty of men present, both in the form of Alexa and Jenny’s families (and Stuart, Michael and Telemachus) and some younger classmates of the two brides. Whilst most of my time at the reception is spent hanging out gossiping and drinking with the rest of the girls, I do get asked to dance by more than a few attractive young men- one of whom asks me just as the music suddenly gets really slow.

“So,” the man asks in a soft American accent as he places his hands on my hips, “are you here with the bride or the bride?” Despite the lameness of the joke, I let out a gentle giggle as the young man's sexy scent drifts into my nostrils.

“Both brides,” I reply with a smug grin.

“Ah, you’re one of the British girls,” the guy replies with a chuckle. “Gor blimey guv’nor, right?”

“Yeah…” I say, trying not to grimace at the cute guy’s sub-Dick Van Dyke cockney accent.

“I- I’m sorry,” the guy grimaces as we slowly sway to the music. “That was terrible…”

“Aw, I dunno, pardner,” I reply in an American accent just as terrible as the guy’s Cockney.

“Yeah…” The guy grimaces, before letting out an uncontrollable chuckle. “Texas is about a thousand miles south of here, heh.”

“You win then, you were only about sixty miles away from where I lived,” I giggle. “I- I’m Jacinta, by the way.”

“Drew,” the guy replies. “Nice to meet you, Jacinta!”

“Likewise,” I giggle, fully aware (but uncaring) that I’m being flirtatious with him- or that many of my friends are watching on with wide grins on their faces/ “So… Are YOU with the bride or the bride?”

“I was on Alexa’s course,” Drew replies. “We did a few study assignments together- well, me and ‘Alex’ and me and ‘Alexa’. It was pretty sad how many of our classmates wouldn’t study with her after she came out.”

“I can imagine,” I sigh. “I was lucky that I had Katie- well, Hendo- on our course and that I met her on day one, so I always had someone to study with. Umm… Yeah, there’s kinda something about me you should know…”

“O-kay…” Drew says, momentarily hesitating before resuming our dance. “Know what? It’s cool. You’re cool. Alexa’s cool, or I wouldn’t be at her wedding, right?”

“Yep!” I say smugly. “So… Do- do you have a- a girlfriend?” Drew smiles in response, and it may be my imagination, but it almost looks like he licks his lips as we continue to dance…

Twenty-five minutes later, with my dress hastily rearranged, I gently sit down next to Hendo, whose grin is almost as wide as mine.

“And just where have you been, Miss Hanley?” Hendo asks, barely suppressing a giggle.

“Oh, just, you know,” I reply with a casual flick of my hair. “Having ‘fun’!”

My brief encounter with Drew is the only ‘fun’ I have throughout the rest of the evening, and for the remainder of my time in America, which comes to a far too sudden end the Monday after the wedding. Floods of tears are shed as Hendo, Lauren, Ophelia and I bid farewell to Jexy for the time being, and a few tears are even shed as we say goodbye to Snikki (who are staying on a few more days), even though we’ll be seeing them again in just a few days!

Unlike the flight to America, the flight home is conducted in near-silence, our energy levels almost completely drained by the excitement (and heat) of the week. Unsurprisingly, Lauren and Michael and Ophelia and Telemachus cuddle up in their respective seats and sleep for most of the way home, while Hendo- or rather, Katie and I catnap between watching a couple of movies.

It’s late evening when Ophelia, Telemachus and I walk through the front door of our flat, but thanks to our naps on the plane, none of us are sleepy. While Ophelia and Telemachus relax in front of the television, I swap out the American SIM card I’ve been using for the week for my usual British SIM card and check for any messages I’ve received while I’m away- and the first voicemail message I hear is something that makes my heart race with excitement.

“Hi Jacinta, this is Terri from X-1 magazine,” the message says. “I hope you’re having a great holiday! I’m just calling to say we were very impressed with your interview and your portfolio, and we’d like to offer you the post of staff photographer, starting in September when you’re back on your feet. If you could give me a call back when you’re back home we’ll work out a contract for you. Cheers!”

“Oh my god!” I squeak, startling my BFF and her husband.

“Jacinta?” Ophelia asks, concerned by my sudden outburst. “Are you feeling alright?”

“OH yeah,” I giggle. “Guess who’s just been offered a job?”

“Oh- congratulations!” Ophelia says, grinning widely as she stands and gives me a gentle hug. "This will be one less thing that you have to worry about, then?"

"Damn right," I say with a wide grin of my own as I move on to the next voicemail- and this one makes my jaw drop.

"Hi Jacinta," the voice of a young man says. "This is Darren from Next Vibe magazine, and after careful consideration, we'd like to offer you the role of staff photographer, starting from September. If you want to give me a call back, we'll sort out a contract. Cheers."

"...TWO job offers," I mouth, barely able to believe my luck as Ophelia gives me another congratulatory hug- and much to my surprise, so does Telemachus.

"Explain to me again why you were worrying so much?" Ophelia asks, making me sigh.

"...Because I worry too much," I say, before biting my lip. "Does- does this mean you won't be worrying next Monday?"

"Absolutely not," Ophelia replies curtly. "I shall be utterly petrified every second you're in the operating theatre." This time, it's my turn to give Ophelia a hug- even as she protests and tries to wriggle free.

"Aw, come on, 'sis'!" I giggle as my BFF eventually escapes my grasp, though the wide grin on her face tells me she didn't mind the hug as much as she's letting on!

As Ophelia and her husband sit back down, I check the final voicemail on my phone- though unlike the excitement of my last two messages, this one causes my tear ducts to open.

"Hi Jacinta," the unmistakable voice of my father says. "Call me when you get this, assuming your plane hasn't smashed to pieces somewhere over the North Atlantic. I'll still be up, even if you get back late." I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, before heading into my bedroom and pressing the 'callback' button.

"Ah, you actually landed, then," dad says as he answers the phone.

"Yes, dad, and in one piece too," I sigh. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, yeah," dad replies. "Coming up to London tomorrow, having dinner with, umm, with Beverly..."

"Okay," I say. "You two- you two getting along well, then?"

"We're doing okay," dad replies. "Understand that starting a relationship when you're fifty is a bit different than starting one when you're twenty."

"I imagine a lot of things are different when you're fifty," I say, giggling as dad replies with a snort of laughter. "And to answer your next question, yes, I'm still okay with the two of you seeing each other. And I'm sure mum is too."

"I'd like to think she was," dad says, the emotion in his voice coming through loud and clear. "But enough about me, how was America? Make any new friends?"

"...A couple," I reply, wisely deciding to keep my 'friendship' with Drew to myself. "I'll fill you in tomorrow when I see you. Oh, and I got two job offers as well."

"Only two?" Dad teases, before chuckling. "I'm happy for you, really. Even if those jobs are in London and not home, I really am glad you're getting on with your life, going all the places you want, becoming the person you always wanted to be..."

"Oh- yeah, no prizes for guessing what you're referring to," I say with a tired sigh.

"I won't lie, I'm not looking forward to Monday," dad says. "Last time I was in a hospital was with your mum. But as silly as it sounds, Monday might be even harder."

"I will be fine, I promise," I say. "I know five friends now who've had the operation. Six if you count Stuart. They're all happy and healthy. But... I have kinda been thinking about mum as well. What she'd think about this all."

"Your mother would be proud of you no matter what you chose," dad says firmly. "And I know she's looking down on you and watching out for you every second of every day."

"Yeah," I whisper as tears start to flow from my eyes again.

"She'd never be disappointed in you living your life the way you need to," dad says. "She is as proud as I am. I promise you that."

"Thanks," I whisper.

"It's getting late," dad says. "And I saw the size of the mall in Minneapolis so you've probably got half a ton of luggage to unpack, so I'll let you get to it. Just remember that I'll always love you, and I'll always be proud of you. Always."

"Thanks," I sniffle. "See- see you tomorrow, dad."

"See you tomorrow, daughter," dad says as he ends the call.

Even though I consciously know that dad has been behind me every step of the way, every time I hear him say it it brings a tear to my eye. Many of my friends aren't so lucky- Jessica was estranged from her parents for a long while after she came out, Nikki faced prejudice from her grandparents and Alexa's father died without ever acknowledging her as his daughter. And it's not just my father, but my sister too. I believe Ophelia when she says she'll be panicking every second I'm under the knife, and throughout every second of my recovery. As will the rest of my friends, in all likelihood. So what if I don't have a 'Sarah' or a 'Jenny' to help me through my recovery? I'm not alone. And Katie's right- I'm only 22, I have plenty of time to find my 'Prince Charming', especially once I'm free of any 'awkwardness'.

A week later, I wake up in a hospital bed to the sound of a heart monitor, the smell of fresh flowers and the feeling of extreme pain in my crotch- but pain that I welcome, as I know that it means my lifelong dream has finally come true.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," dad says with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Crap," I reply. "But that's okay. I've got the whole summer to recover, heh. Is- did everything-"

"Doctors say it was almost textbook, no complications," dad replies. "You just lay back and concentrate on getting better. Or opening one of the hundreds of gifts that have been left for you, heh!"

"I was about to say, am I in a hospital or a florist?" I ask, making dad chuckle.

"All of your friends have dropped round," dad says. "I'll go and get them in if you want?"

"They- they're all here?" I ask.

"Where else would they be?" Dad replies with a grin. "That Lee boy you were seeing recently also dropped off a bunch of flowers. As did Simon, for that matter."

"Neither of them are really the 'flowers' type," I say.

"No, but you are," dad whispers. "It's not just me that loves you, Jacinta. Neither of them might have been your 'Prince Charming' but I have a feeling you won't be waiting long."

"Yeah, well, I'm not in any rush to look right now," I say softly. "Can- can you get the girls in, please?"

"Of course," dad says with a smile.

"Oh, and dad?" I say, blinking back tears- and not just because of the pain.

"Yeah?" Dad asks.

"Thanks," I say, and for a brief moment it almost looks like dad is going to burst into tears.

"You're welcome," dad says, before disappearing into the corridor to fetch my friends.

I've turned a corner in my life. I'm now 'complete', I'm about to embark on a great career and I have friends who love me on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean. And yet my 'Prince Charming' is as far away as he ever was. But that's okay for now. I had faith that one day, I'd be the woman I always wanted to be, and I am. If this can come true, then anything's possible, right?

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Comments

Miss Hanley returns!

And has finally gone under the knife... But there's plenty of her story yet to come. :-) I'm not 100% pleased with this one, felt the ending was a little rushed but overall I'm happy to sign off on it, especially as I haven't been in good health lately. But I'm not going to let that get in the way of my beloved Jamieverse. :-)

A list of upcoming chapters can, as always, be found here. Not including the next Soixante-Trois 'origin' story. Or my eleventh story, which I've already started work on. ;-)

Debs xxxx

Sweet

Sweet chappy.
Also, things are looking good for Daddy Dearest - Brighton and Hove is having a respectable season. Fourteen points out of ten games is quite good for a diddie club.

Realization finally

Jamie Lee's picture

It took Jacinta long enough to realize she doesn't have to rush around looking for her prince charming.

At 22 she may have plenty of time for fate to bring the right man into her life. But not right now. Right now she must give her body the chance to heal after major surgery.

Others have feelings too.