“Regarding Audrene Trullo,” Mom said, “She’d like you to stop dressed as Dort around 2:30 if you want her to work with you. She said, maybe she could give you a pointer or two before meeting the sailors of the USS Cook.”

Mom added, “I got a note that beginning Tuesday, someone thinks maybe it would good for you to dress as Dort at school while the women from the ship are here. I guess they’re hoping to go to dinner with you, the cheer team, and others who might want to meet with them.” Mom said, she liked to go but decided not to embarrass me. I was sure she wanted me to say it was okay if she came. But as yet I’ve not said yes to that.

I met with Audrene Trullo Sunday at two. She served tea with cookies at her house and we sat at the dining room table. “Alexis told me today that the women may be here by practice time tomorrow. They’d be open to a visual connection around three-thirty today via the internet. I think Coach and school officials want to assure them you'll not embarrass them as some kind of a weirdo boy nor that you feel unduly pressured in what you’re doing. You do make a very presentable young woman.”

I sitting up straight on the front of the chair as she suggested, but not acting stiff but presenting well as a teen girl. I sipped my tea, but she even suggested that to be slower and then complimented my bite of the cookie. She suggested having lipstick on and to keep my lips wet so I wouldn’t leave lipstick marks. In public, I’m required I check myself discretely if I could not get to the safety of a women’s room.

Little Marie had found us and wanted up on my lap. I was taken by how cute she was and that she saw me as a nice girl. “Mommy says you know Robert down the street.” Later she asked, “Would you be my babysitter if my mommy thought it was okay?” I looked to Audrene and she appeared to be surprised by what Marie had asked.

Audrene said, “I’m sorry she asked. I told her, we’d be going out Saturday and Grandma Trullo couldn’t babysit. She’s afraid of who we might get. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t force you in that spot.”

I giggle, “But if I said yes, you wouldn’t mind? …My friend Anne told me such opportunities would come along. I could do it if it would be helpful.” We agreed it would need to be as Dort.

Before 3:30 we moved into Audrene’s personal computer room for our connection with the women of USS Cook. Lieutenant Jennifer Fields, Ensigns Kayla Bowen, and Deb Triens were all there along with Robert Anderson. Sailor Anderson was just there a short time. He wanted to know if we’d be open to a few regular sailors coming to the game.

Once he was gone, Jennifer took over and kind of directed our conversation. “Roberta, I hope you didn’t mind my casting you as just another woman. It will be easier for us if we do not deal with the gender issue. It is helpful that you present yourself well as Dorothy.”

“What do the boys of your school think of a boy jumping or doing cartwheels and exposing his panty bottom in doing so?”

“I get a lot of razing, but the costume is good and the idea behind it has caught on. I wear a shield and no one has caught me showing myself. We work hard to stay away from problems.”

Deb said, “We’re happy you don’t come across as a bimbo or a clown of a woman. I am pretty sure we wouldn’t be doing this if you did. Brenda Woods is in the Navy Reserves and she had come to one of your games. She even visited a couple of teen spots nearby. She confirmed for us we could connect with you without being embarrassed later.”

Audrene spoke up, “Is Brenda, Stephanie Woods’ sister-in-law?” Jennifer and others did not know, but Audrene was pretty sure, she was.

Jennifer Fields asked, “If we presented a modified uniform without the official markings would you be open to wearing it as a mascot for us as well as your team?”

I honestly said, “I wasn’t really wanting to get into this any deeper in presenting as a woman.”

Deb Triens said, “'Wasn’t wanting,’ does that mean you’re open to doing it for us? Those of us in the Navy often end up doing things we weren’t wanting to do. It kind of goes along with what we and you’re doing and doing well.”

“I guess, yes.”

Kayla Bowen said, “We’ll appreciate that after the holidays when we’re out to sea for a few months and following your team. Tuesday night being greeted by you after the game would be a treat for us.

Our leave reportedly is being cut short so we’re hoping to come back from Roto, Spain, to here in New York City or Philadelphia. Being greeted by you on our return in April or May would be a hoot.”

Once we’re off our connection, I turn to Audrene, “Hopefully, they’ll not really want me to do it in the spring. Hopefully, there will be another mascot by then.”

Audrene says, “By then reprising your role shouldn’t be that hard for a special occasion. You should be honored that these women are welcoming you into their lives. It sounds like you have them interested in our girls’ teams. Interested enough that they will keep in contact with you and us during their cruise to the Mediterranean. Hopefully, we can also learn from them and their port in Rota, Spain.”

"Maybe you and some of the girls can get invited onboard for a personal tour of their ship. Wouldn’t you find that interesting?”

“Yeah, but I’d rather take my guy friends.”

I didn’t know how long my mother was there, but she spoke up. “You can see it as part of your discipline of being on the Cheer Team. You may want to consider Anne and the others who helped you get their attention as your core group of friends. Ask yourself where were your guy friends when you were bullied?”

It made me think, ‘my life has gotten better being Dort or Roberta whereas it had been getting worse on my own.’

Audrene says, “Earlier you said, ‘Yeah’ whereas Dort or Roberta you should say ‘Yes. As your mother said, as Dort, you should be seeing the cheer team and the girl sports teams as your core groups. Listen to the girls and as Dort pick up their way of saying things and try to incorporate that into Roberta and Dort’s speech.”

Mom said, “She has gotten less judgmental. Dort has already helped Rob to think through things better. If he reacted more as he does as Dort, he might not have gotten into trouble in the first place.”

Monday at 8:00 a.m. I have an appointment with Psychologist Kristyn Arnold. “Hello Robert, how have things been going since our Saturday morning appointment?”

Robert says, “I think fairly well, but you might have to ask Roberta or Dort?” He pauses, “I know they’re me, but it’s like they’ve taken on an outgoing personality. And I find it easier to visit and be friends because of them.”

Kristyn said, “Interesting, can you think of any reasons that might be?”

“Well, I tend to see myself as awkward around people. It’s become kind of an expectation. I become more energetic, as Dort. Dort’s on the Cheer team; it’s kind of natural to speak up and be more active. People are interacting with me more frequently. Like with Roberta, I’ve gone out with my Mom or others to get some girl clothes. While I’m nervous at first, I’m soon over my shyness and into being Roberta. It is like I have a reason to be different from being Bob.”

Dr. Kristyn asks, “Is it like you’re obligated to be outgoing or that you want to be friendlier?”

I said, “I feel freer as a girl, not as awkward. I learned dancing and gymnastics as Rob, but it’s more accepted as Dort. During practice or shopping, I like visiting with the other girls. I am learning how to be a better friend. Even if I make a mistake, others are more accepting, instead of judgmental or putting me down by laughing at me.”

Kristyn asks, “Robert, how are you feeling about all of this?”

I smile, “I’m liking it, especially around my family and Anne. They know I’m still a boy, but we’re okay with me having fun doing it. I’m already being able to handle things better. Often because of the experience, I’m gaining as a girl.”

“I don’t exactly like doing my hair and makeup, but I’m getting better at that along with picking out outfits or what to wear.” Our forty minutes seem to fly by. I know I said even more than I remember. Mom was happy with her visit as well. She’s glad I got to have a good visit with Dr. Arnold.

I was to school the next morning and before my lunchtime, I was called to the office. Principal Evans said, “We heard from Lieutenant Fields and they hope to be here by one o’clock. They’re hoping to meet with Roberta and your mother dropped off an outfit she said you picked out for the occasion. …Would you be willing to change into it? The nurse says you could use the extra room at her office as well as the bathroom to do your hair and makeup.”

I’m walking to the nurse’s office carrying my off-pink skirt and a light sweater. When another group of students passes by going to lunch. Some guys teased me but a girl named Holly took my outfit and carried it for me like it was hers. “There are actually more guys that respect what you’re doing not only us girls.” Before she would leave for lunch. She asked if I needed any help with my hair or makeup.

I said, “No, you better get to lunch, it would be a while before I was ready.”

Holly left saying. “If my friend Tiff got done soon enough she might be willing to help you.”

I felt better after I changed because Tiffany, in fact, came to help me. Tiffany let me do most of it, but it was helpful to have a girl’s perspective making sure what I did was good. She did even out my makeup and started the changing over of my hair to girl mode.

Tiffany is technically still in the same grade as me but takes the more advanced courses plus two college classes. “You know I would enjoy helping you with your Chemistry class. Especially if part of the time you’d be Roberta.”

She heard me moan about the subject when she mentioned it. “You know the sixth period on Wednesday when you’re in study hall. I’m up in the library doing an independent study. I could help you then.”

I said, “You would be willing to do that for me?”

Tiff said, “Let’s plan on that this Wednesday. I’ll be cheering with you during tomorrow’s game. It should be nice having the Navy women from our Destroyer being here.”

With the bell, Tiff’s off to her next class and I’m back to the office. I see two women in the office. Jennifer is the first to speak, “You must be the infamous Roberta; it is nice to meet you.”

Debra opens her arms, asks, “Is it okay if I say hi with a hug?” We hug and I’m still getting used to the feel of one girl hugging another. Deb says, “I’m another Jersey girl, but I’m from a small town near Jersey City.” Her accent is more like someone from a city. I’ve been told everything around Jersey City is one huge city.

She jokes, “You won’t believe it, but people on the ship give me grief saying they can’t understand me.” She speaks faster than me and the accent is way more pronounced, but I can easily understand her.

We begin to visit before I’m introduced to mid-shipman Bob Anderson. He laughs, “I don’t think we have to worry about being mistaken for one another.” He’s a black man who appears to do some serious weight training. He’s also a radar technician as is Kayla Bowen.

He says, “Kayla will enjoy getting to meet you; she too is a good dresser. She’ll be with you tomorrow. We’re not usually off the ship at the same time.”

They’re all talking to me as a girl, though I’m sure they know otherwise. Jennifer says, “Principal Evans said, it would be okay to take you to lunch. That you missed it as you got ready for us to be here.”

She said, “Are you upset, having to dress as you do? I’m kind of glad about it since it has helped our ship to unite with the women of your school.” …Someone asked, “Did you pick out your own clothes to wear today and do your makeup? Or are you still getting others to do it for you?”

Jennifer drove us to a diner where teens often go to eat. Debra says, “You have good legs for playing the part. Do you agree, Bob Anderson?”

I turn to the other Bob. He says, “It’s troubling to me to see a boy with legs that should be on a real girl.” He laughs, “If you haven’t been hit on yet, you will be. But it won’t be by me.”

It takes me a while to get the conversation of me and the school/ship relationship. Jenn says, “We have an abbreviated uniform that you can use as a cheer uniform if you want. We had someone try it and do some of the moves of a cheerleader. We’ve also gotten permission from Principal Evans to present a flag from the ship for the National Anthem.”

She has a poster-size picture of the ship signed by many of the crew. The picture and a flag from the ship will be presented after the women’s basketball game. “We hear that a good portion of the male students is in favor of the School/The USS Cook being connected. Some guys like Bob here will be happy to correspond with them. But we’re running the point with you and the girls of the Destroyer teams.”

We’re back to the school and I’m given the uniform cheer outfit to try on to see if it fits. I thought it was a uniform, however, the way it moves with my wearing it makes it unique. They even made the panty good for me to wear and be able to do moves needed to cheer. Along with Principal Evans, they go over with me about movements I’m not to do as well as the respect they want me to show when I’m ‘Dort of the Destroyers’.

They’ll be here tomorrow for the game as well as to meet with school officials earlier in the day. There will be an assembly Wednesday morning. Anne and I are invited for a personal tour of the ship on Saturday at 9:00 a.m. Members of the girls’ teams, as well as the cheer squad, are invited. A limited number of pictures will be allowed.

Jennifer, as well as Kayla, have played high school basketball. I had changed out of the outfit they gave me until the next day. But both the basketball team and the cheer squad got to visit with them at the beginning of our practices. I’m still fighting my being proud of the girls’ stuff. I can’t help feeling proud like I really deserve it, but I feel it is wrong.

Anne gave me a ride home and didn’t tell me until I got there that she wanted to see the outfit that Jennifer Fields presented to me. When I tried turning her down, she pleaded to Sonja and then my mother, until Mom said she also wanted to see it.

It does look better than what I’ve previously worn. We even went to our finished rec room so I could with Anne perform a few cheers, kicks, jumps, and cartwheels. Mom ended up staring at me. I didn’t know if something was wrong or especially good. Exceptionally good wasn’t my guess.

When Mom asked for a measuring tape; I thought she’d measure the length of the skirt or something. Instead, she measured my waist and hips. “Roberta, have you been doing something to look more girl-like,” she asked? Hearing the question brought Sierra into the room as well.

It was Anne who came up with what was happening. “Mrs. Anderson, neither Robert nor as Roberta has he been eating like usual. Most of the time he’s worn bulky clothes, especially for practice when he’s been wearing one of the shapers we got for him to look better as Dort. I guess you hadn’t noticed how good it’s been working. Even as Robert, Roberta has had better posture and been performing very well.”

Between bringing my waist in almost two inches; my working out has added some muscle tone to my hips. I hadn’t said anything because I was sure it was just my own perception. I felt guilty because of how good I was looking, but wasn’t about to say that to others. Working with Audrene, I was actually feeling good about how I was presenting myself as Roberta.

Anne telling my mother about Tiffany’s wanting to tutor me in Chemistry brought a smile to my mother’s face and helped to change the discussion.

Anne left and we had a simple dinner of fish, a salad, and Mom’s homemade chips. Tonight Audrene was giving me my second decorum lesson. She was here by 7:30 and would stay less than an hour.

She taught me about taking care of my hands as well as how I should hold them. I was feeling self-conscious about folding my hands and holding them in my lap. I thought she was wanting me to hold them even better than my sisters.

“I really, don’t care if you think you’re holding them like a girl, more than your sisters. But in truth, they do it quite naturally and for you, it is not natural at all. Like tomorrow and when you’re with Lieutenant Fields and Ensigns Kayla and Debra your posture and how you hold your hands will be on display or the lack thereof." Audrene had worn a shorter skirt like I would be tomorrow. She was modeling for me how I should be behaving.

My male ego and even more my male libido were being taxed by how she was looking. She knew I got aroused and had an accident, but we kept working. “You can just learn to control yourself or be embarrassed. “You appear as a girl to me and if it takes setting up a date with a boy, I’ll do that to get your male ego in line. I think that would be good for you anyhow. Cold showers are good for would-be girls as well as boys.”

When we were done our short session, Audrene said, “If you want to get rid of me you can tell your Mom that I’m hassling you. If you do come Sunday to practice with me at 2:30. We’ll have our lessons and then I’ll have Cynthia’s twin brother take you to an early movie.”

She says, “Remember, you can complain to your mother or you can cooperate. You’ve already embarrassed girls that you said we’re friends. You need to get over that.”

I said a proper goodbye and then hurried to take a shower and change for the night. Once I was done with my shower and ready early for bed. I went out to visit with my family before homework.

Mom handed me a new lip gloss with a bow wrapped around it. “Audrene said, ‘If it was alright with me. She wanted you to go on a date with her nephew. She thinks your male libido needs to come under control for when you’re Roberta or Dort and around pretty girls.’ I would like to know from you if that is okay? …She might feel a need to quit coaching you if it isn’t.”

I was caught by surprise, that Audrene had openly shared that with my parents. My Dad had left the room, thinking it would be easier for me to visit alone with my mother, girl to girl.

“Audrene said Geoffrey’s twin sister would be double dating and they found one movie that would be starting at 6:00. So it wouldn’t quite me like going to a matinee like a little child.”

Mom said, “I don’t want you to be doing it. If it is going to put you under a lot of stress. If you’re uncomfortable with being out with a boy and we lose Audrene we can handle that.”

I hoped my Mom did not see that I licked my lips. I don’t know why but for some reason the idea of going out with an older boy wasn’t grossing me out. I did pause and gathered my composure. “It sounds silly Mom, but I guess I better learn to develop more composure as Dort.”

That night between the new cheer outfit and the idea of dating Geoffrey; I had some silly dreams invade my sleep. There was one dream I thought was cute. I was instructed by Lieutenant Fields and allowed to carry the flag of their ship before the game was to start. There was a picture of me in the paper the next day. And the first thing I noticed was how cute I was and how my legs were nice and smooth.

I got up early and rushed to complete the little homework I had. Mom reminded me, “Remember you’re to dress as Roberta for attending classes. Take your new outfit and keep it somewhere it won’t get wrinkled or soiled. I put in a thank you card you should write out and give to Lieut. Fields for those from the ship. That was really nice of them, don’t you think?”

I joked, “Yes Mom, it is not every day a boy gets a new outfit to be a cheerleader.”

Mom replies, “You have done amazingly well on the cheer team. Boy or girl, you should be proud of all you accomplished in a short time. Girls are supposed to understand when they’re treated as one of the guys. Here it’s the other way around and due to your own fault. Quit moaning like a boy.”

Mom kissed me on the cheek something she did more often with my sisters. “I like the dress you chose to wear. This will be the first time I see you wear a dress to school. What gives?”

I said, “I’ve had problems with my blouses being half in and half out of my stuff. I thought it might be easier to stay nice looking this way. All I need to do is smooth it out and check a mirror now and then.”

Sierra and Sonja are both there. “It is nice to have our brother learning to take better care of himself. Even as Robert you are way better. By the time your discipline is over; we will be interested if this stays as the new you.”

Sonja said, “We’re talking about as Robert, but neither of us would complain about having another sister if Robert would go back to his sloppy ways…”

Story to be continued…