To Be or Not to Be, That is the Existential Question: Chapter 5: Finding the Me to Be

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"To Be or Not to Be, That is the Existential Question" If given the power of a comic book superhero, is that person obligated to play the part for the greater good?

To Be or Not to Be, That is the Existential Question

Chapter 5: Finding the Me to Be

Last Time:

I said, "No, I felt great afterwards. Whatever happened when I changed, left me stronger than before. How much will need to figure out still. Always good to know your limits."

Dad admits, "It's always better to know your limits in the safe environment of our home gym, where no one will see you do something un-natural. Thankfully, you have your personal shield to keep you safe. And for the time being we keep this all on the quiet until we know who to trust."

I ask, "Is that why you didn't say anything to aunt Connie about anything other than the gender change?"

"Yes," Then adding, "Connie and you never had much to keep you close, just the shop and the occasional family dinner. That and with her traveling for the shop to visit events and looking in on our interests abroad. It's in hers and your's best safety if she doesn't know."

He said that when the time was right, we would let her know everything.

Ater we done eating, we sat together on the big couch to watch dad's favorite show, NCIS. It didn't take long for me to sucome to the temptation of sleep, cuddled against the warmth of my dad.

And Now:

I woke up the next morning in bed, wearing the second set of transformer PJs from yesterday and covered by the sheets and comforter. I slowly worked my way out from under the covers, and stretched as I stood up. I felt absolutely amazing.

I know that this change had altered me to the core. Why you ask? Because with the exception of the powers or gifts I now possessed, I felt completely normal. So normal in fact that I was actually looking forward to going shopping with Connie and mom. It might be fun.

One of the best things about this bedroom was that it had its own bathroom. I went into the bathroom and started the shower, using the toilet while the water warmed up. I was quickly done and wiped, and into the water.

Without realizing, I got in with the water on full hot, and it felt wonderful. It didn't burn or scald, so I must have some immunity to heat. Another plus. I turned the water to a more conventional temperature so as to not use all the hot water.

I may feel natural as a young woman, but the way the water went down my skin, the feelings my skin had, I almost didn't want to get out. After washing and conditioning my hair, soaping up and rinsing, I shut the water off. I think I was in there for ten to fifteen minutes.

Getting out and standing in front of the mirror, I had an idea to try. I gently shook my head as I raised my radiant power. I did that for a couple of minutes, my inner light looked bright as a small sun. Then I pulled it back in, to myself. I found out two things with that test, I learned I could control my power without harming my surroundings. And I could literally blow dry my whole body and my hair looked fabulous, falling right into place.

Back in the bedroom, I quickly put on a different bra and panty, some clean socks, before pulling up the ranger green BDU pants. I paired that with green and yellow tank tops. I did a fast, neat job of the cosmetics and headed downstairs.

I found mom reading the paper in the kitchen, at the breakfast bar. She lowered the paper when she heard me, "Would you like me to fix you anything?"

Coming around to give her a kiss on the cheek, I saw that she had, what for her is her regular figure maintaining breakfast. A small bowl of Special 'K' and a yogurt. "I'll have the same as you, but I'll get it myself."

Mom had a pot of tea going, so I helped myself to that as well. I added nonfat sugar free French Vanilla creamer to both the tea and the cereal, over the milk, and a Aqui berry yogurt.

Mom gave me a funny smile, "Does this mean I can get rid of that horrible junk food?"

I just said, "You better discuss that with dad first." And laughed with mom knowing his addiction for anything cream filled. His saving grace was that he was very fit and active for his age. So was mom for that matter. I promised mom that I wouldn't fall into the same bad pattern as I had before my change. I really liked the way I looked now.

>>>>--------------->

Before we left the house mom found me a tri-fold army green leather billfold that had RFID blocking, that someone at her work gave to her recently as a gift. Even with all my stuff to put in it, it was mostly empty. I liked that the main flap had spots for both Driver's License and for me, a school ID. Other than some change and a couple of bucks, the only other card was my OUEE (Only Under Extreme Emergency) visa card.

We met Connie at the shop, where she whisked us off before I got a chance to say hi to my dad. Connie was taking this shopping thing very seriously, and didn't want to give me a chance to back out. My answer was that I had empty dresser and closets to fill, so, the sooner, the better.

We got to the big, Pioneer Place, mall, near old town China_town. And I asked, "Where do we start? There are so many places here!"

Connie and mom got funny looks on their faces and said as one, "Pink!" Grabbing me between them, heading for the main doors. I was trying to find a way to politely refuse too much of the color, when they stopped us in front of our first stop of the day.

It suddenly dawned on me what they had meant by 'Pink', it was Victoria's Secret. I wasn't sure if this was better or worse than I had expected. Looking through the open doorways, it was thankfully evident there were plently of colors besides, pink.

Entering, we were greeted by a friendly face of a thirty something young woman. Asking, "Can we help you ladies today?"

Connie tells her, "Yes, you may! My sister-in-law, Helen, and I are here to get her daughter, Glenyth, a new wardrobe today and figured we would start with the proper 'foundation'."

As she reached out her hand to me, "Hi Glenyth, I'm Lauren, and I'd be very happy to help you today. Do you know your sizes?" I shook my head no, "Well, let's start there, shall we. Just follow me, Please."

She led us back to the changing area and a closed off room for fittings and measurements. She let me in then asked, "Please disrobe in here and let me know when you're ready, ok dear?"

In the room by myself, I quickly remove all my clothes except for the panties. "I'm ready, I took off all but my panties, is that alright?"

Lauren says, "That's fine, dear, as long as you are comfortable that way." Before she came in, she asked, "Do you want your mother and aunt to wait outside or is it ok for them to come in too?"

I just said, "Either way is fine by me." Thankfully the room is big enough to accommodate the four of us easily.

Lauren turns me to get a good look before getting my measurements, she says, "Glenyth, you are a very beautiful young woman. You will look great in anything you wear. If you want, I can bring you some things to try on, or if you want to dress first, I can show you some things."

I say to her, "Thanks Lauren, I would like you to show me some things." As I dressed, I noticed how her hair was a darker shade of red than mine. It was then that I noticed that her ears, had a bit of a point sticking out of her hair. She was very pretty.

Mom and Connie went their own way after seeing my sizes, while I followed Lauren around picking out a good number and variety of things to try on. She told me that I shoudn't need a push up bra with my figure. I chose T-shirt bras to start, then some Demi's, some sheer's, under-wire and without.

After trying the first under-wire, everyone like it went into the no-go pile. All the others felt nice and comfy, if you can say that for a bra. Lauren showed me show to adjust the straps so they wouldn't dig into my shoulders.

It was during this time when mom and Connie were looking for things that I said to Lauren, "It's very kind of you to take so much of your time to help me today." I took another glance at her ears, before looking down.

Lauren lifted my chin till I looked her in the eye. "You are so cute. You remind me of my wife when I first met her. She had that same look of innocents that you have when I met her," Laughing, she adds, "Her ears are pointed, too. But, that is a long story."

After choosing a lot more than I felt I needed, Lauren had me keep on a matching pair of sheer baby blue bra and boy cut panties. I've got to say that the sheer silk felt amazing to have, on. Even under the clothes I wore into the store.

It was another hour later when we were checking out, having done plenty of damage in the Pink part of the store, that we found out that Lauren was the new owner of the store. She had one other store in Eugene Oregon. She quietly told Connie as she held her card out, that we were getting a 20% store wide discount. Wow, we didn't expect that.

We made our goodbyes and head for the food court with our many bags. We decide on Great Wall of China. I hadn't noticed until it was too late, but, the people in front of us were from my school, including Gena.

Before I could try to get us out of there, Gena noticed mom and said, "Hi Mrs Larsen, it's so nice to see you again." She nods toward aunt Connie and me.

Mom stares at Gena for a moment, when recognition sets in, "Gena, it's so nice to see you after so long. We don't see you since you and Glen stopped hanging out together."

"I know, I'm sorry. But I was wondering how Glen was going? We haven't heard anything since they took him away on Tuesday at school. He must be doing better, if you're here at the mall instead of the hospital."

Mom answers, "Yes, all is good now. No problems!" We place our order, since leaving now would be very suspicious. Mom tries to steer us away from Gena, but she follows us to our table.

Gena looks between Connie and I, saying to Connie, "I know Glen's aunt Connie, but, I don't think I've ever met any other family. You must be Glen's cousin, I'm Gena, very nice to meet you..." Waiting for one of us to fill in the name.

And this is why Gena and I had stopped being friends and hanging out. Sometimes, she is just too smart for her own good. I knew that I could fool her for a while, maybe even long enough to get out of this situation. But as soon as I went back to school on Monday, it would all be out anyways.

I took Gena's hand in mine to shake, smiling, I said, "I'm Glenyth. We've already met." I released her hand and watched as the cogs in her head turned to make sense of what I had said. First a look of confusion, that changed to wonder and then suspicion, and at last, recognition.

Gena almost fell, but I caught her, held her steady until she recovered. She let slip, "Holy Shit! Glen? Is that really you?" Then after realizing what she had said, "Pardon my language."

I grinned back, "It's Glenyth now. So, how do I look? Ok?"

Mom moved the bags aside, "Gena, would like to sit with us? Then maybe I can find out what happened between the two of you to keep you apart." Gena accepted and waved goodbye to her friends.

Through our lunch, it came out that Gena and I had drifted apart like a lot of boy / girl friendships do at the start of puberty. Where boys spent more time with boys and girls kept with other girls. Mom and Connie both thought that was silly, but now that we shared a gender, there was no reason to keep us from being friends again. We agreed and shared a hug to seal the friendship.

Though we weren't there yet, it was pretty much assumed we would become BFF's. And being or had been a nerd, we knew that with old Glen gone, regardless of how I got treated now, Gena was the next, on the nerd chain that she was sure to get some harassment, we would have each others back.

Gena called her mom to let her know that she would call later where to pick her up cause she would be with us. We spent a lot of time going store to store, shopping for shoes, regular clothes and even makeup. We picked out a ton of corded wrist bangles as well as bracelets. I decided to let Gena talk me into getting my ears pierced.

It was while I was getting the piercing done that it all almost hit the fan. When the tech who did the piercing did the first one, I wasn't completety ready. Thankfully the tech was looking away just as she pulled the trigger. Just the slightest flash of light and the gun fell apart in the tech's hand. She apologized and got a different one, redid it and it was fine.

I thought I had gotten away with it until I saw the look in Gena's eye. I asked the tech for a ring for my belly button so that while she was gone, I told Gena I would explain later.

We were pretty much all spent by then and decided to get home, after dropping Connie back off at the shop. It was good a thing that Connie drove to the mall because her vehicle had a lot more room for all the bags. Had we taken moms car, there wouldn't have been room Gena, let alone all the bags and boxes.

Once back at the shop, Gena and I went looking for my dad while Connie and mom transferred the horde of stuff into mom's car.

It didn't take long to find dad, since he was in the first bay reserved for final delivery of a car to the customer. He was bent over under the hood of my little, Hot Pink Soul, revving the motor and listening for any unusual noises. The motor under the hood now had color matching highlights to make it almost show quality.

He closes the hood and signals for his intern, to shut the motor off. Seeing me, he walks over, "What do you think Punkie?" Looking at Gena, "Long time, no see, gurl!" It was said to be corny, but dad could pull it off.

Gena says, "Yes Sir, it has. I hope you're doing well?"

Dad says, "I'm doing just great!" Giving me a hug from the side, then asks, "Hey Gena? Any chance your pop is willing to give me win back my old STi?"

Gena laughs, "I don't think so, sir, he says that after mom and me, that car was his biggest victory. Winning it when he did. It means too much to him."

Dad laughs too, "I had to ask, didn't I?" Shaking my shoulders, "And you, tired from keeping up with your Aunt and mom?"

I giggled at his inside joke, "It wasn't that bad dad. You should cut them some slack."

He says, "Oh, you're just saying that because of being a girl now. But, you didn't answer my original question, how do you like the car? It's all done."

I answer, "It's perfect dad! Even that little hesitation in the secondary system is gone. Very smooth. But, you spent your entire day working on my car."

Dad says, "Yes, I did. But I have an ulterior motive. That being, I hope you are interested enough in cars to hang around the shop some. Maybe even take an intern position. I still have a few spots left."

I said, "I'd love to dad! When do I start?"

"Since today is Saturday and all but over. Let's say Monday after school. Then Wednesday and Thursday. That way you'll have time for other things, like dates with boys."

I said, " The work is fine, but dating boys are OFF the table. I know how they think about girls that look like me, and you can have them!"

Dad laughed until he noticed Gena wanted to ask him something, "Yes, Gena? You have a question, dear?"

She says, "Yes, Sir. If Glenyth is going to help out here a couple afternoons a week, could I maybe do the same thing? You know that my Pop has all but given up on the car scene and won't teach me anything. And he always said you were better than he ever was."

Dad says, "Don't let your Pop, fool you, he was pretty good too. I just had better luck than he did. But, if your mom and pop are ok with it, Then I'd be happy to add you and Glenyth to the team."

About that time mom and Connie were done loading her car. Dad hands me the car keys and a small wad of cash and a Black Gas card. I look up at him wondering what I'm doing. He says, "You need to get gas on your way home. Go to the place I use and get the Special Blend we reserve. Then, if you and Gena wants to stop for pizza or something. You're covered."

I give dad a hug and kiss, "Thanks Daddy!" Then head over to mom to tell her we'll meet her at the house.

Starting the car, it has a less painful exhaust tone. I made sure that Gena was buckled in before putting it in gear. Since there was a lot less power from the motor the clutch pedal had a friendlier feel to it. We hit the road with modest acceleration.

Gena grabs the bar in front of her, "Holy Shh..." A big smile on my face.

End of Chapter 5

Thank You for Reading!

Mopar

Goddess Blessings!

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Comments

Rather sounds like her car is

Rather sounds like her car is no longer one that comes directly off the showroom floor; but more kin to a local race track. Nice that she once more has her friend back and that the two of them will be working together on projects regarding cars.

You Bet

Mopar's picture

My thinking on the cars is that they are barely street legal race cars. Her dad basically took the car from a single seat time attack car to a street legal rally car.

Thanks for Reading!

Mopar

Goddess Blessings!

Street Legal...

Is a misleading term for most people when it comes to cars. What it truly means is that the car still has all the legal DOT approved lighting, brake lamps, turn signals, safety glass windshield, tires etc. Engine and drive line modifications can be as crazy as you want, the only thing that could get you ticketed would be if the exhaust was too loud.

It's really funny when you think about the laws regarding cars. You can shoehorn a race ready NASCAR engine into a Pinto and it's street legal, but add something like under car lighting to grandma's Buick and it becomes illegal to drive on the street...LOL

My 89 Mustang with it's highly modified super charged engine along with N02 with 1100 hp at the rear wheels, a car I was notorious for bringing the front wheels off the ground when the stop light turned green, was completely street legal until I would bolt on the front skinny's and rear wrinkle wall slicks at the track :)

We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

Time Will Tell

Mopar's picture

Glenyth has already told her dad that boys are OFF the table. But, you never know who holds a better hand. All you can do is play the cards you are dealt.

Thanks for Reading!

Mopar

Goddess Blessings!

Stick shift

Millennial anti theft device. Also a great way to discourage people that might otherwise want to borrow your ride.

three

mountaindrake's picture

three in the tree they are sure something is broken as it will not come out of park.

Have a good day and enjoy life.

Same Thing

Mopar's picture

After reading your comment, I would say the same as I did to Ray just before. Thank the Goddess, my nieces and nephew are all outdoor types. It started by taking them fishing at the age of two, when mom and I went to the lake. Yeah, it looked funny seeing a playpen out on the t-dock, but everyone we met there applauded us for starting them young.

Thanks for Reading!

Mopar

Goddess Blessings!

First Car

Mopar's picture

The car I learned to drive in was my dad's '67 English Ford Cortina, 1600cc, 4spd manual transmission. As much of a POS that car was I still loved. When it came time to teach my niece to drive, I had a '01 Saturn SW 2 wagon, with the manual trans. It was the perfect car for her to learn stick shift. Her first lesson was just easing out the clutch without any throttle input until she could keep the motor running.

Thanks for Reading!

Mopar

Goddess Blessings!