Tail

I rolled out of bed, and checked to see if I had a penis that morning. That morning I didn’t. Score. Wait, no. That meant is was still a girl. Yeah, but a girl without a penis.

Out of the shower I stood in front of my closet and stared for a long time at The Outfit. I could have worn The Outfit a long time ago. I had not for one simple reason. Ever seen Lysistrata? That reason. Probably a worse problem in a dress than in a toga though.

But I hadn’t had a penis for three days, so it was time. I went back into the bathroom and got little red hairs all over my razor. Legs smooth and tampon changed, I put on the boots and modeled them in the mirror.

Oh, that was too good. I grabbed my phone and took a picture. Too good, but not too good enough. The mirror was full length, and I could ditch my panties, turn my hips this way to model the boots, arm holding phone covers the breasts…

I wasn’t dumb to the situation, sending this to a friend would be distribution of child pornography. So whoever I send it to has to be either very trustworthy, or my greatest enemy.

I put my panties back on while I decided that a little Photoshop to strip out identifying features would also be a good idea. I mean, as good as this terrible idea could get.

Dress on, I took a few more selfies. With this kind of start my day was going to be great!

Autumn kissed me good morning, and we spent the ride to school with her hand riding up my bare thigh. If it hadn’t been shark week and I wasn’t terrified of a car crash…

We saw the rest of the crew outside the auditorium, and everyone told me how great I looked. The dress was weird on the back of my thighs though. People kept tugging on it while they walked past. Flipping it aside.

Time passed, I looked great for all of it.

I was in design, sitting on a stool and working on icon designs. It was easiest to just sketch them out, from a huge list that Wee David had sent. Some of them were easy enough, like “kiss” or “timer” or “stop”. Those I had flown through and wouldn’t need much speculation on. Others were harder. How did you sum up “titty gropes” into a simple 32x32 image for example? Assuming I could avoid anyone’s attention long enough to get some ideas down in the first place.

I had had some difficulty with the stool and the dress. Getting the dress part under my butt had been easy, smooth it aside while I sat down. But it kept riding up whenever I moved. Eventually it would be bunched at my back, and I could feel the edge of the stool on my thighs. I’d have to get up and sort it out.

I was almost used to walking in the boots, and the way the heel caught on the edge of the stool and hooked it while I sat made me feel… adult. Like really adult. I pretended as I drew that I was working at a big art firm, working on the hottest new app.

There was a snicker behind me, and I turned to see everyone at the group of tables against the wall turn back to what they were doing.

Dammit, my dress had ridden up again. I got off my stool to adjust it when one of the other girls in the class brushed my shoulder.

I turned to her to hear how great I looked, and instead she whispered, “Everyone here is really understanding you know. You don’t have to hide your tail.”

Not having any idea what she was talking about, I took a moment to take her in. She had a collar on, with a tag, so not like a BDSM thing. She was wearing white and black ears and corduroy overalls with a white and black ringed tail safety-pinned to the butt. I would say she was probably a ring-tailed fox, and was trying to remember whether they were in monochrome, while I smoothed out my dress and felt hair.

Not like, a hair. Like a big mess of hair. Like some part of me, that was mostly hair, was sticking out of the bottom of my dress.

My brain braked like a semi on black ice, and I could feel the trailer start to tip. I said, “I don’t have a tail,” while I moved…some muscles. I didn’t know what muscles they were at the time, and could not explain to you what moving them felt like. What I knew then is that I had never had those muscles before, at least in any way I could feel. And I knew that if I did have a tail, then that was exactly what moving it would feel like.

The hair brushed over my hand and away and I felt the expression on my face freeze starting from the mouth and then working its way up my face. When the stillness reached my eyes I managed to say, very politely, “Please excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom.”

Don’t run. Don’t run. Don’t run. My boots made a rhythmic tap tap tap on the tiles as I walked very calmly to the bath room. Then very calmly opened the door and very calmly stepped inside. Very calmly I leaned the door closed and then in a panic I ran for the mirror, nearly tripping on the heels while I hitched up my dress.

Dress above my waist I turned. No tail. Whew. Okay, then I guess moving these muscles like this causes noth—fuck!

There is was, wagging around. No, not wagging. What did cat’s tails do? Swish? It wasn’t really swishing either. It was doing whatever monkey tails did. That’s what it was most like. I tried to get it to coil and the whole thing disappeared again, from the base up which should have been impossible.

Well. More impossible.

Okay though, that was how I got rid of it—nope it was back. Whatever I had done the first time had sort of worked, the tip was looped over into a coil. Maybe I can move it this way to get rid of it? The tail moved in the opposite direction I wanted, and stayed stubbornly real.

I dropped the hem of my dress and put my face in my hands. Breathed deep. Breathed deeper. Breathe in. Slowly. Slowly. Breathe. Breathe in. Slowly. Slowly. Breathe.

I needed to tell someone about this. I needed to tell someone about this who could keep a secret. I needed to tell someone about this who could keep a secret and had the period off.

Goddamn it. I texted Big Davey, “Okay, we can talk.”

I spent the next five minutes trying not to flex my tail, while flexing my tail. I clutched my phone and tried to stay calm.

Without any preamble Big Davey brushed through the bathroom door. “Do you want to stand or sit?”

“Out!” I shouted at him.

Big Davey put up his hands but didn’t make a move until I stamped my foot. He backed out through the door and called, “Much less private out here.”

I dug in my backpack for my lipstick, please don’t ask me why. This was hard enough and even a little makeup was sure to complicate our communication. Only that communication was already fucked and I needed some armor. Lipstick make woman strong.

He was leaning against the wall outside when my boots made me stalk out of the bathroom. “Okay, you can come in, but I need you to not be gross.”

He shrugged then diffidently followed me inside. I had practice now. Knowing the damn thing existed, I could start to feel where it was. I turned my back to Big Davey and lifted the hem of my dress over the top of my panties.

“You know I’ve see—whoa.”

“Seen what? Seen my ass before? Or seen my tail?”

There was a long pause while I stared at the wall. I tried to move the thing and felt the hair brush the back of my knee. Then there were two fingers, right where my tail met my spine. It made me jump in the boots and I let out a startled gasp. Do NOT get an erection, Aisling. Do NOT. It hadn’t been arousing, just very shocking.

Big Davey stepped away and brushed my dress down. “Okay. Well compared to your dick this is somewhat easier to deal with.”

I rounded on him, “Easier to deal with? I have a tail.”

He put his hands on my shoulders and I realized just how badly I needed a hug. “You have a tail. No big deal.” There was a sound out in the hall and we both started. “Lets go somewhere we can figure this out.”

“I’m having a serious crisis and you take me to a library?” I whispered to Big Davey as we strode through the door. I had grabbed my backpack in Design and explained to Mr. Jacobs that I was having a “personal emergency”. He took one look at the hot young woman in front of him, his 50 year old experience came up with the worst he’d been told, and he excused me.

Big Davey and I threaded our way through the stacks and he whispered back, “Can you think of a better place to go and think?”

I couldn’t and didn’t want to say so.

“Besides, getting caught together in the bathroom here and they aren’t going to call our parents.”

“Stop making good points,” I grabbed his shoulder. Big Davey turned and I gave him a quick, chaste, kiss on the lips. “I owe you big.”

“Well I haven’t actually done anything to help yet. But I’m getting some ideas about how you’ll repay me.” We found a quiet study corner and sat. “Okay. First thing to figure out, does is disappear and reappear?”

I could feel it inside my dress, but I had a feeling if I moved it…no not that way…but that way—that got it. “I think I managed to make it disappear.”

Big Davey gave an apologetic shrug, sat forward and ran his hand over the small of my back and then down further. “I can’t feel it. Does this mean it’s another fourth dimension thing?”

“What else could it be?”

“Have you called the alien?”

“I don’t exactly have his phone number.” I shifted in my seat and the tail was back.

“I can see it!”

I turned. I had managed to get my tail around the real space of my dress fabric. Now it was sticking out of the hole in the back of the chair. “Shit,” I whispered.

“No, don’t move it. This works for us.” Big Davey reached out and thought better of it. “Does it feel weird when I touch it?”

“It feels weird everywhere, dude. This whole thing is weird.” I froze and stood stalk still while he ran his hand down the length of my tail.

“How weird was that?”

“I don’t have a way to put it into words you would understand. ‘Discussion would be meaningless without a common frame of reference.’”

“Yeah those are words.”

“Just… I can see why cat’s like it, but it makes me feel very vulnerable.”

“You should try sucking dick.”

“I have. Yours. Now I need you to put it back in your pants and focus for me.” Let’s just call the atmosphere weird.

“Okay, we’ll make clear that no one can touch your tail.”

“No, Autumn can touch it. Wait, make clear to who?”

Big Davey sat forward in the midst of the smell of books, elbows on knees, “Aisling, we can probably keep your disappearing/reappearing dick a secret from the others. I can help with that as much as I can. But this? Can you even wear pants with the thing?”

I sighed and felt tear prickles on my eyes. “I can just move it out of space. Keep it there.”

“Okay, and when it comes out?”

I closed my eyes and didn’t start when he brushed a tear off my freckles. “Okay, we’ll tell them. But only them. Meantime.”

“In the mean time, I have an idea.” Big Davey pulled a safety pin from a row of a dozen that were aesthetically punking up his army pants. He bent over my back and I leaned forward. I could feel the pin slide in to place right where my back became my tail. Over the next several seconds he had used another pin, a pen cap, and a length of headphone wire, to fashion… something. “These headphones were dead anyway. Okay, so we just paint that mess black and tap it to your forehead.”

“What in god’s name are your talking about?”

“See, you just have a tech mod tail. You 3d printed it and added servos, and the whole thing is controlled with this little EEG right here. Like those cat ears that they sold at comic con that one year.”

“You’re saying we’re going to disguise my tail as some nerd core fashion?”

“It’s probably the best idea I’ve had so far. Or did you want to try cutting it off.”

“Okay. Once I can get the tail under control it won’t be a thing. No, please don’t cut it off.” I ran my hands through my hair. “It’s great too, no one can touch it because the parts are very delicate.”

“And it’s a prototype, so you don’t feel like making anyone else one.”

“Good, yeah.”

We both stood and I unmussed my dress, feeling my tail on the outside.

“Then on Wednesday we can use game time to tell the crew about it.”

“Yeah. Fuck.”