Anchors Aweigh – 14 My Second Mom and Others

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Anchors Aweigh – 14
My Second Mom and Others



By Jessica C
=^_^=~


Audrey Trullo had asked me over to visit as my emotions and anger have been getting to me. We were talking about my time acting as Rose or Dort as part of my punishment and then if I saw myself as a girl?

That was when the doorbell rang and I got up to answer it. I opened the door a crack to ask, “Who is it?” It was then I saw Shannon and a girl with her who was closer to my age.

“Shannon, what are you doing here? If you came to get me, you already know Audrey helps me from time to time. Whatever it is thanks but no thanks, right now!”

Shannon pauses and stands there waiting and then Audrey says to me, “Don’t be rude, ask them in.” The odd thing was her friend caught my eye as she was wearing a nice looking skirt and blouse.

The way Shannon said hello to Audrey, told me they knew each other better than I thought. Shannon begins introductions, “Jamie Tyler this is Rose’s good friend and our neighbor and Rose who you’ve seen at school.”

It surprised me that Jamie and I went to the same school. Jamie says, “You look surprised that we’re both at the same school and you don’t know me.” She paused, “It is probably because I’m in some of Sonja’s classes and not yours. I used to go to Brook High School before I transitioned. I homed school for a year but I felt ready to be in a school this year.”

I didn’t hear the ‘transition’ part, thinking she said ‘transferred’ from Bound Brook. Jamie said, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you’re like me, but when I saw how neat you’re being accepted; I thought this is where I want to start back to school. So when your sister was in our store, I asked if she’d help me to meet with you.”

It was then I had my ‘ah-ha’ moment. I heard of a Jamison kid over at Brook that transitioned. But I hadn’t heard anything since and forgot about it. I looked sternly at Shannon and said, “So what’s the deal, why did you bring her here to talk to me?”

Shannon said, “She asked me during the holidays. It wasn’t until you lost your cool at school last week that I decided to come home and talk with you. But here seemed better than at home.” She turned to Audrey, “I’m sorry I’m imposing on you, but our parents aren’t great for open discussions.”

Audrey said, “It was a big enough deal some ten years ago when my brother came out as gay.” She said, “It wasn’t my intention to help Rose to come into her own, but to act more like a girl when Dort was there in public. I don’t think many expected Dort to last longer than a week, but my little Marie has always had a warm spot for Robbie. That Dort is still around and Rose has come into being. I wanted to play a constructive role if at all possible.”

“Jamie, it is nice to meet you and this is a place where you’re welcomed. If it is helpful or you want an additional friend, please know you are welcome here.”

Aubrey left her chair and came over to me, sitting next to me and taking hold of my hand.

Then Jamie spoke again, “Last week when you started to blow off some steam in the cafeteria. I saw a lot of myself in you.”

I abruptly interrupted, “I’m not you! I’m not a girl! I like being Robert and I’m not giving up on that! You get it!” It was not like me to explode like this, but I did and I wasn’t set on cooling down.

Jamie said, “I agree, I don’t think you’re just a girl. And what you come to decide anything it is up to you. But I and, I think, others have come to think you like being a girl but it stresses you out.”

I stood up and walked around and then walked for the door to go out. I couldn’t bring myself to turn the doorknob. I raised my hands like my head was ready to explode and I walked around some more.

I gazed at Jamie and again liked she was smartly dressed. Instead of wanting to snap at her, I was leaning toward complimenting on her clothes or asking where she got them. Thinking to myself, ‘This is not a good way of proving you’re not a girl.’

I walked over to Audrey and stood in front of her until she stood up. I hugged Audrey. “You know you are like a second mom for me. When I'm Rose, you are my mom and big sister.”

I sat down with Shannon on one side and Aubrey on my right. It was good to visit with them including Jamie. Part of me didn’t want to identify with Jamie, nor she with me. She had not identified who she was. One thing she said that spoke to me was even before she transitioned she was already a woman.

I hadn’t told anyone that part of my explosion at school. My friend Mark wanted me to throw things in and get back to being a guy. I had wanted to do the same thing, but couldn’t, because I couldn’t suppress that I was also a ‘girl’.

Before we stopped meeting over at Audrey Trullo’s, we called Dr. Kristyn Arnold’s home. I apologized for calling her at home, but the others wanted to be sure I had a professional who knew what I was now acknowledging. I wasn’t ready to be out to the public, but rather wanted an honest place I could discover and work with who I am. Dr. Kristin thanked me for calling and gave me a special number to call her. She would check my class schedule and call me to her office during study time.

=^_^=~


It was heartwarming when Jamie hugged me as we said goodbye. Shannon took her to her home, while I walked to mine.

Sierra asked if I saw Shannon and how I was feeling about myself. She was surprised when I told her that I am truly her sister. She and I went to Shannon’s room where we felt free to talk.

Sierra said, “I hope this means, you are going to stop wearing the same outfits close together.” …She said, “Rose, I think you need to explore and see yourself in new ways.” She and I went to the fitness center at the community college and she led me through a set of aerobic exercises.

A Ms. Lea introduced herself and said, “It is nice to see you, Rose, would you mind if I introduced you to some yoga movements that you can use to relax and explore this side of yourself?”

She knew I became defensive, but she helped me to relax, meditate, and know it would be me who decided where I’d go with it. If I ever used it at all.

It had surprised me that I looked like a girl in my workout outfit. My gaff hid any sign of being Robert. It also gave me new confidence if I decided to wear designer jeans or something from the dress slacks Sierra had.

=^_^=~


Monday, we made a giant picture of the USS Cook for one wall in the gymnasium, putting on the numbers of our players from their home jerseys.

We had failed to get the Athletic Directors approval and he and the coach of the boys’ team protested.

Knowing it could be painted over, we sought the Principal’s help and then the Superintendent’s approval to keep it up through the end of the basketball season. When the Athletic Director protested, saying he wouldn’t allow it because it was prejudicial to the girls’ team. It was I who said, “You don’t want to go there. The sports budget and promotions for male athletics is way out of balance. If the girls would file a civil challenge that the boys’ sports budget would stand to lose a lot.”

The Athletic Director said, “Mr. Anderson, I am not appreciative of you in this discussion. You were a novelty that has overstayed its welcome and you shouldn’t be part of what we’re talking about.”

I was about to speak up, but Coach House raised her hand to stop me. She then spoke up, “I am sorry you think that as Dort has been closely watched and has handled herself quite well. The connection with the USS Cook was done with a lot of help from ** Anderson. The high school girls’ basketball season record and the idea of giving the team some added recognition now seemed to be appropriate.”

The meeting reconvened its meeting to the gym. Where the Art teacher had several of the students who painted the ship. “Several of our art students helped us to design the ship after the girls won the holiday tournament. We are sorry that we hadn’t checked about permission. I guess we just assumed that everyone would see it in good taste.”

Mister Mitchell, the President of the School Board, was now present and was the first to respond; it probably set the tone for any continued discussion. “I sure hope this was just an excuse to get us over here, making sure we all got to see it. From our budding artists to the present-day representation of the Destroyer and our present girls’ team; it all appears marvelous. What seems to be the problem?”

His statement ended the discussion. The Director of Athletics put on a nice smile and quickly backtracked. Everyone was soon dismissed.

=^_^=~


Later that week, I thought I was doing well, except for two or three incidents of me away from the court. But now both Coach House, Coach Daley and some of the girls surrounded me. “What’s with all of you giving me added attention?”

Coach Daley said, “Our team and the Cheer team have been booed and criticized before. It kind of goes with being out there win or lose. Even winning, you see we have our critics. You haven’t learned yet to look cute, be nice, and quiet no matter what.”

I tried to say I was alright, but I began to shake. They had me sit down, Aronia and Erin Se said, “We get so nervous we usually get sick and throw-up before our ball games.” Kristin Hadley, “It is not unusual if I get called for a foul. I even fouled out once because a foul was once credited to me when I wasn’t even in the game when I got credit for my fourth foul. Coach tells us not to take it so seriously we get sick.”

She said, “We’ve watched you. That’s part of what got you in trouble as Robert. We…” She looks around and a lot of heads nod their approval. “We need to ask you to relax and enjoy yourself more. You’re part of the cheer team and you’re not to speak critically of the referees at the game. We like your spirit, but you need to leave the game up to us basketball players in the game.”

Kaylea said, “I’ve talked to Lieutenant Fields and we have her permission to throw you in the brig if you can’t behave and have fun. Starting the next game, you’re going to have a wrist corsage for each game, to remind you you’re our Rose.”

=^_^=~


The number of messages the basketball players and cheerleaders were getting from guys aboard the USS Cook had increased from two to over twenty each week during the past two months. Two players even sent pictures back, with them posing in their basketball shorts, looking back over their shoulders. Lieutenant Fields checked back with them, “Did you girls know your pictures might be used as pin-up pictures?”

The truth for both of them was that their grandmothers were the ones who suggested it and put the girls up to it. Kristin who is an especially pretty girl, said, “My grandmother suggested it. Saying, I’m better looking than some Betty Grable. I’m a bit of a flirt and this allowed me to flirt at a safe distance.”

Those on the Ship were even watching the game via a computer hook up from the school’s videoing of the basketball games. There were several people in the school broadcasting the game via their computer feed. Dawson, one of the computer geeks was the one to make the connection with the ship. Some ten to sixteen got to see them live and more would see it recorded.

Dawson has got better as a broadcaster and became friends with athletes at the school. Dawson and I were kinds of friends, but he’s uncomfortable that I now like being Dort and Rose.

Kent Fox, one of the sailors, and his wife Jaylene lived within twenty-five miles of our school. She was now coming to all our home games. She attended three away games that were closer to where she lived with their 2-year-old daughter Heather. Jaylene got a couple of opportunities to wave and say hello as part of each broadcast.

I had become a friend to Jaylene as the Cheer team helped when she had to bring Heather. Jaylene took a fancy to help me with my hair and makeup. She said, “You remind me of my little sister. I don’t get to see her much on account my parents didn’t like my marrying Kent. I had to get away from home. Kent was one of the few men who treated me right.”

Sparta was one place she could find a home she could afford to rent, with a grocery store within walking distance. She was considering moving to our town after my Dad and Mr. Barlow said they would help her with finances the next two years.

=^_^=~


While I’m now beginning to see myself as transgender, it is not yet public. My father has indicated that he sees it differently. He has a calendar marked to count off the days until the girls’ basketball tournament was over. The last two days were marked with a question mark (?). He wrote, “One loss in the tournament and it is history for Dort.”

I’m afraid if I don’t forget things and give in to my Dad he might hold his help to Jaylene over my head. Shannon said it isn’t likely since he had said it publicly. But it was added pressure on me.

Shannon has invited both Sonja and me, as Rose, to go to a Sister's visit to her college. While Mom had said yes, Dad still didn’t know. Mom made it known, if Dad said no, her permission would be revoked as well.

=^_^=~


We were facing our last game of the season. St. Peter’s needed a win to secure a spot in the playoffs and our team needed the win for a perfect season.

I was awake before five o'clock and put on a moisturizer before picking out my clothes and putting Dort’s uniform on a hanger and into a dress bag to take to school. I took some pins out of my hair from last night so the curls would have time to relax before I did my hair for the day. I had yogurt and fruit for breakfast with one of Sonja’s supplement drinks. And I made sure it was hidden deep into the trash.

Since I was in my teddy bear PJs, I scurried back to my room when I heard one of my parent’s up.

=^_^=~


It was barely 6:30 when Anne came over to my house. She was excited as I was and wanted to make sure I had two skirts and panties for Dort. There was always the chance one could get messed up during school or the pep assembly in the gym.

Luckily I was dressed by the time she got there or Mom wouldn’t have let her up to my bedroom. What I didn’t know and Mom wouldn’t learn, that Anne brought two push-up inserts for my bra. While they were not big, they did add to my feminine look. I wore my outdoor coat as I left my room and said goodbye to Mom from a distance.

Mother planned to come to the game, but thankfully, she would not be coming to the pep rally. Sonja knew what I had done but thankfully decided not to cause me any grief. She did whisper to me, “You know you and Dad are on a collision course.” I could tell she had become more accepting toward me. She said, “You’d do well to always have one more reason, like meeting the ship to keep him from making anything final about you being Robert.”

I looked at her with a soft smile, “Am I hearing that you’re almost siding with me?”

She said, “Sierra and Shannon already knew I changed my position. I’m just not sure I want to lose my favored daughter status with Father.” She gave me a hug and air kiss.

=^_^=~


Once I got to school Sharon and Sandra met me and congratulated me for not making any more sideline remarks, especially to referees. “Rose, you’ve come a long way as Dort. We hope you have kept the best for tonight and the playoff games.” Sharon said, “I know this is an emotional time for all of us. And that like Sandy and me, this could be your last go-around as Dort. You might want to look closely at the anchor chain on the Destroyer when others aren’t around…”

When we got to the pep rally, Anne slapped my hands that were going to the back of my skirt, “Quit that, someone’s going to think you like how your buns look.” I said, “But I do like them!”

We both looked up to the Destroyer picture.

Jaylene was already here with Heather…

To be continued…

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Comments

There might be

Monique S's picture

a confrontation in the near future. I hope all of Rose's supporters are going to stand by her in it.

Monique S

Rose's parents are

Samantha Heart's picture

Being bullies and as such need to be punished Rose MAY have to move out & live with one of her friends or coach... as for the anchor chain i wonder if it says Dort? Hmmmmm

Love Samantha Renée Heart.

Dad is going to have

to suck it in eventually.

Yeah, the refs

Jamie Lee's picture

Enthusiasm for a team can get the best of people, even when the ref makes a good call that the crowd doesn't agree with. Crowds are hard on the refs for basketball because they are right next to the court, and often the refs can hear everything directed their way.

Why had Dort been so vocal during games and caused others to have a face to face with her? Was it because Robbie was sneaking out during the game? Maybe, but not really. Because she felt the refs were blind? Again, maybe, but not really.

Dort was becoming more vocal because of the conflict within her as to wanting to be Robbie and Rose/Dort. That conflict was the root cause to her saying something concerning the refs. And it was what Audrey was trying to get her to understand.

It would appear school won't be the problem when the girls' season ends, but home will be. And the problem will be Dort's parents. Robbie's happiness is paramount to anything her dad wants, since mom has yet to stand up for herself--heaven forbid she should go against her husband.

What dad wants isn't Robbie's happiness but his own shelfish desires. He has no idea what affect his decision will have on Rose if he demands Robbie returns. He doesn't realize that his decision has the possibility of his attending his sons' funeral. And because of this, he really needs to visit with Audrey, or someone like her, so they can explain all the ramifications of forcing Robbie's return.

Others have feelings too.

Refs, Rose and other problems...

... Some interesting insights here as well as some other readers. The obsession we often have of thinking our wisdom is needed and others should feel blessed to have it.
Part of Rose's problems arises when others want to influence our lives with their wisdom. Where the coaches really do bring some wisdom that Rose is responding to. There are others who are too close to see their influence correctly in the lives of Rose and the other daughters.

Coaches Daley and House are calling in time well spent with Rose/Dort. It helps her get through the game. Unfortunately, there's more under the surface going on.

Yes, Dr. Anderson could use some counseling, but it could be hard for the doctor to acknowledge that.

Hugs, Jessie C

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

Roberts anger

I feel that Robert/Rose is lashing out because they feel that they have no control, all they are is everyone else play thing to be used, shaped and displayed as other what. No one asks Robert what he whats to do or where to go or how he feels, they tell him what to do, what to wear, where to go, how to act, what to feel or put him in situations with on option but to suck it up and on the rare occasions he is asked there is some sort of emotional gun held to his head to make him answer as they what.
Good to see his parents are consistent, a total let down, if dad wanted to keep his son he should of backed him up at the start. And mum playing bad parent worse parent, probable doesn't want him to go but says yes hoping dad says no, so she looks like the sympathetic parent shes not.

legofun