CHAPTER 70
We made our way back to Central in convoy, some of the vehicles peeling off to deposit their prisoners at other nicks, the numbers being rather too big for one Custody Suite to hold. I was glad to be able to get rid of all the Personal Protective Equipment that had been weighing me down. I am not a small girl, nor exactly chest-heavy, but I am sure the designers of the ballistic vest were either misogynists playing a nasty joke, or simply nerds with no concept of what a woman’s body actually looked like. Bloody uncomfortable things.

Sammy left us all alone for about two hours as statements were completed, and once that necessity was finished, those of us in Central were called into their canteen, one of the few places big enough for the numbers involved. I managed to find a seat, but others were left perched on the thankfully cold serving counters. Just after the doors were finally closed, Bev slipped in.

“Don’t worry. Not going to start with ‘Evening all’, OK? I will simply say thank you. That was a solid, professional performance, in particular by the entry teams. We have minimal casualties, both human and canine, and more than enough evidence of criminality to keep the CPS happy. I am informed that the heavy lifting has been completed, or nearly so, which means that we will be leaving the resulting grind to CID, CPS and Custody staff. I will be making an official statement in the morning to keep the reptiles of the Press happy,

“Gwent: I am so sorry to leave you with the clearing up on site, but it is your turf. Bribery and corruption of the right sort, however, may persuade South Wales to offer some help. You will also have assistance from HMRC, as there appears to be rather a lot of illicit alcohol and tobacco in situ, and they seem quite keen to transfer it to their own storage. RSPCA are working wonders with the animals, the canines that is, so we can actually see an end to the physical work in this case.

“Quick summary, TL/DR as my kids say: thank you all. That was a difficult and complex job, executed professionally and effectively, with minimal casualties and, despite the final events, no deaths. Go home, relax, and feel proud. Thank you all, once more”

He tried to slip away, but it was a slow process, as so many people of all ranks were there to shake his hand. I spotted Sammy waving to me, and then saw my team gathering round him. I struggled through the moving crowd to join them.

He was Cheeky Sammy, just then, the grin warm, but I could tell Feral was lurking just behind the mask.

“Quick debrief, mates. Got a room down the corridor. Then I have a proposal”

Out of the canteen, a short walk, and then a small room full of the usual impedimenta of office work, somebody’s dirty cup still half-full of tea.

“Right, you lot! We all know what went on, and we know what little games were played, so I am not going to play Heavy Boss on this one. Candice?”

“Yes, oh mighty leader?”

“Not now. Don’t do that again, aye? Just us in here, no official telling off, and I really, really appreciate what you did. I was shitting myself that we would have to see a dead animal before the bloody shysters would give us their nod, but you disobeyed a very direct and specific order”

Candice started to rise from her chair, but Sammy waved her to sit down again.

“No, love, not my point, is it? Just us in here, and I trust all of you, so I am speaking honestly. No bullshit, not this time. The real issue is not that you played fast and loose to avoid the nasties, but that you left an audit trail, as they say. Next time, though I am hoping there won’t be, don’t be so specific about what the fuck you DIDN’T see, aye? Don’t give so much detail. If there isn’t a Volvo estate there…”

His smile dropped, and was replaced by concern.

“Lexie, your statement is nice and simple. You merely reported what you were told. Candice, I have yours here. If you have a few minutes, we need to work through it. It needs to be clearer about both what you really saw, as well as explicit on how you interpreted it. When I say ‘clearer’, I mean ‘vaguer’. You can’t say ‘Put it into a Volvo estate car’, because there wasn’t one. You need to say something like ‘A dark rectangular shape I assumed to be a car’. Got me?”

She nodded sharply, no blonde games just that once, and I really felt for both of them. Cheeky Sammy didn’t come back, but Warm Sammy did.

“Mates, I made a very quick call earlier, and I have a suggestion, OK? Candice and I will sort this little bit of shit out, and I assume it will take about half an hour. I have made that call, as I said, and it was to a place we all know well. They have a late licence tonight, and Marlene is clearing a corner of Elaine’s Bar. Back to James Street, get changed, and then a team drink. Not obligatory, but I think we need to have a little session of de-stressing. Anyone not up for that?”

There were no objections, and after we had all driven back to James Street, dumped our kit and pulled on something less obviously ‘COPPEER!’, we made our way to our little home from home.

It was forty minutes before Candice appeared, Sammy in tow, and I grabbed her a white wine as she made her way through the strangers by the door. She looked a little drawn, so I gave her a hug after passing her the glass.

“You OK?”

“Yeah. He’s a good bloke, isn’t he?”

“We all know that one, girl. Heavy stuff?”

She grimaced.

“Yeah. He had a transcript thing of what went out on the radio, so we had to make sure it all fitted together. Blunt, though. Best word for it, for how he was. I mean, he understood why I did it… Di? No pissing about, OK? I knew what I was doing, and he has made it bloody clear that he knows as well, and he made me realise I could end up done for perjury. I either put down the lies, he says, and he walks away, or we find a way to write the truth that allows wiggle room. Between the three of us, he is really sticking his neck out, so I don’t think I should say any more about it. We are bloody lucky in having him, Di. So bloody lucky. Anyway, I spy bowls of peanuts. Fuck dieting for tonight”

She was off, clearly fighting back tears, and Lexie was at my shoulder.

“Candice OK, Di?”

I looked up at the younger woman, seeing her integrity, her honesty, and managed a smile.

“Yeah, love. Just a little stressed from it all. Can I suggest something, though?”

“Ah. Don’t talk about…”

“Yup. Don’t talk about. Anyway, gossip. You and that girly?”

She blushed, the poor kid.

“I was drunk, Di”

“Didn’t seem to slow you down, did it?”

“I’m not gay…”

Ah. Ease off a bit, DC Sutton.

“Well, whether you are or not is hardly a big thing on this team, is it? Want to talk?”

“Um. I suppose I should. Di, it simply made sense at the time, if you see what I mean?”

“Atmosphere, music, alcohol, everyone else swapping spit? It happens. To be honest, I don’t think people worry so much about it as they would over two men”

She snorted out a laugh.

“Sorry, Di! Just had a vision of your hubby and Alun, aye?”

“How about one of Rhys and Jonny Boy?”

Her smile broadened and warmed.

“Yeah. Point taken”

“So. This snog that’s worrying you. It made sense at the time. Does it still make sense?”

She looked at the racks of optics for a few seconds.

“It sort of made sense back at her place, Di. Never done that sort of thing before”

“But thought about it?”

She shrugged.

“Girls’ school for me, wasn’t it? Crushes and trying out snogs, but I was never, you know… I look at Elaine and her wife, and it’s all so natural, so normal”

“It is normal, girl. Can I take a flyer, here? Sort of say what I think is going on?”

“Yeah…”

“You were happy to… to go with the flow. Felt right at the time. Now it’s guilt-tripping, am I right? Parents, family?”

“Yeah. Wondering what Mam would say…”

I thought of Tiff’s description of her boy’s parents. Give them a cup of tea, ask how they met. So lucky, as was I, and I didn’t need chapter and verse from Lexie about how she felt her own family might respond, nor why.

“Well, have you spoken to your new friend at all? Asked her how she feels? I don’t mean an interrogation, Lexie. Just say hello and see where that leads. You never know, but she might be in the same place you are”

I didn’t really believe that bit, but I had to try, and I suspected that the best and simplest thing for the young policewoman would be to step away from worry and focus on the person involved. I thought it had been hard for me, and I was straight. Lexie hugged me, then smiled in a rather twisted way.

“Lisa’s actually in the main bar. Saw me come in and sent a text. Nervous as all hell, I am”

“Then go, say hello, and see what happens. Your head will sort itself out only when you give it a chance, not sitting around trying to second-guess who you are. No presumptions, and no sorting your life to fit those of other people, OK?”

She looked up, eyes soft.

“Di?”

“Yeah?”

“Please take this the way I mean it, but you’re not that old…”

“And love you too!”

“No! What I mean is, well, how do you get so sorted?”

I took a step forward and a hug.

“Not so easily, Lexie. Not at all easily. But I had help, and friends who showed me what was really worth worrying about, and what I did need to deal with, yeah? This job helps with that bit, and I think you’re finding that out already. Now off and see what Lisa says, and no presumptions. And remember: she might be in the same boat as you”

A quick squeeze, a peck on the cheek, and she was gone. I took a few seconds to look around the room, checking the dynamics. Jon and Rhys grinning at each other, Rob and Ellen slumped together in a corner, and Candice looking lost and alone.

It was obviously my night as Mother Hen. I gathered my patience to me and ambled over to her.

“Wossup, Blondie?”

Office Blonde was in storage just then, and I had a frightened young woman instead. Shit.

“Did I fuck up that badly, Di? Sammy said… Shit. Not going to let myself cry. Not here”

“What did he say?”

“Oh, it was all about overstepping instructions, conflicting notes and statement, all sorts of stuff like that. It was all ‘Professional Standards’ and ‘internal investigation’ and ‘discipline’ and I didn’t MEAN it to go like that and---”

Her voice was starting to rise, so I put my hand to her mouth. Why was it always bloody me?

“Stop now, Candice. Stop. You stopped?”

“Mmmhmm”

“OK. Now, listen to me, just for a bit, and think. Why did you do whatever it was that you might have allegedly considered thinking about doing? No, don’t answer. Me talking for now. We all know why, and so does Sammy. He spelled it all out, didn’t he? Perjury, criminality, all that shit?”

“Yeah. It was really---”

“Shush. Nods or shakes, OK?”

She nodded, and I continued, praying I wasn’t being stupid.

“So, he then sat down with you while you, um, corrected the errors in your statement? Doing his job of assuring the official paperwork of his officers, yeah? Nod or shake?”

A nod.

“Did he caution you, woman? You know, that thing that has to be done when there are reasonable grounds to suspect an offence has been committed? Nod or shake?”

A slow shake, that grew in emphasis as a smile surfaced.

“Di?”

“Yes, Candice?”

“You are right, aren’t you? He was shitting me!”

“No, love. He wasn’t. Do not repeat this, but he’s just put his own neck on the line as well as yours. I mean, he hasn’t put YOUR neck on the line, but you see what I’m saying, isn’t it? Where’s Barry?”

Oh hell. It was Lexie all over again; not my night at all. I thought of a big man, so close to tears at the prospect of doing something he could never take back, never explain away in adjustments to a witness statement. I drew a slow breath, let it out and said the words I needed to.

“Did you see the state he was in on that roof, Candice? Might be nice to give him a ring and see he’s OK”

She looked down at her feet, nodded again and pulled her phone out of her handbag before heading for the exit, no doubt to find somewhere quiet enough to make a call I suspected one more generous, caring human being needed.

Speaking of which, sod the ‘hen’ bit. It was my turn to get marital rather than motherly. I went looking for my husband. I had plans for him. Me.

Us. Most definitely ‘us’.