Weeping Willow - Part 4

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Weeping Willow
Part 4

... When We First Practice to Deceive

by **Sigh**
Copyright© 2019 plaintivesigh
All Rights Reserved.

No problem. I’ll just flush the pills down the john daily. It’ll look like I’m taking them, and I’ll be one of those trannies that the estrogen just doesn’t seem to work on. There are trannies like that, right?


~o~O~o~

Later that day, in the Eiken’s master bedroom (with the door locked):

“Allowing him to dress up – full time, no less! – was a huge mistake. We need to put our foot down and force him to act and dress as what he really is – a BOY.”

Gwen had been ranting for the last twelve minutes. William listened without saying anything; now, though, he needed to respond. “Force him? How? At gunpoint? He’s already shown us he’d rather be nude than do clothes he doesn’t want.”

“Why is he acting like this, William? His personality changed two weeks ago, and he’s been in skirts for the last week. If this is not real, it’s lasting longer than I would have ever thought possible! I mean, who can fake it that long?”

“I know. It has me flabbergasted, as your Dad would say. Gwen … I think we need to consider that this could be a real thing. Bill could … I can’t believe I’m saying this … really be transgendered.”

“I know you believe in all that trans stuff. I don’t. It’s a mental illness at best. And you don’t treat mental illness by saying ‘just live that way’. That wouldn’t work with a schizophrenic!”

“No matter which one of us is right, in less than 2 years Bill will be a legal adult. How will our relationship be with him if he still chooses to become a woman? Do we shut him out? Say he’s dead to us? Or endure uncomfortable holidays together for the rest of our lives? At some point, would you accept him?”

Gwen glared at her spouse with anger. “Whose f**ing side are you on, you bastard? If you don’t support me on this, then Satan wins – perversion wins! And if that happens, I will hold you responsible because you didn’t stand with me!”

William’s face felt numb. He’d never heard Gwen so angry, nor so foul-mouthed. “Honey … you’re talking about being godly, fighting evil, and then swearing like a sailor. Do you see the contradiction?”

“DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT GODLY, YOU HYPOCRITE! GET THE F*** OUT OF MY BEDROOM! OUT OF MY HOUSE! GO SLEEP IN A MOTEL TONIGHT BECAUSE I CAN’T STAND HOW YOU’RE TALKING; I CAN’T STAND YOU!” Gwen threw socks, briefs, and other items for him to grab to show she meant business.

William had never seen his wife come unhinged like this. She was bawling heavily while continuing to grab some of his clothes from the closet. He decided to swing for the fences as a last gasp effort to salvage this situation. Walking into the closet, he grabbed Gwen and held her firmly against his chest, not hard enough to cause pain or restrict breathing, but definitely preventing her from using her arms.

“LET ME GO! I WILL CALL THE COPS ON YOU, YOU …”

“Baby, it’s going to be okay,” William whispered into her ear. “Don’t do this. I love you, and I am always on your side. We may disagree on some things, but we are a team and I will never break us up. Please just breathe. Don’t talk, just breathe. I love you.”

Gwen twisted a few more times. “NO … LET ME … LET …” She gave up and suddenly went limp, continuing to bawl. William eased both of them down to the floor of the closet; he knelt there, still holding her, still whispering encouragement in her ear.

Willow and her older sister Angie stood in the hallway outside their parent’s bedroom; they’d been there ever since the loud yelling had started. Angie was visibly scared and crying; her Mom and Dad had never fought like this. Willow’s eyes looked distressed, and she kept her mouth covered with both hands. That was necessary to hide the fact that she was smiling widely.

Looks like Mom and Stepdevil’s marriage is on the rocks. That helps the plan. If I can split them up, mom won’t have the energy to keep me grounded here at home. And I’ll never have to put up with Stepshit’s rules ever again. This “addendum” is working better than I hoped. Freedom, here I come!

~o~O~o~

Dude I did it – told Mom I wanted hormones

And?

TOTAL FREAK OUT. Said I had to stop dressing. Stepdad came home, they got into huge fight. They might break up! Good news totally!

So you going to take hormones?

NO dude. It should not even get that far. I WILL demand them even more, and the folks will either fight more and break up or they will let me go to save marriage. Win-win.

U sure dude. I mean, HORMONES. What if they decide to have u take them?

There is NO WAY they will let me take them. Chill dude.

Worried. B careful.

Aw Bernard. U so sweet. U best boyfriend a chick like me could ask 4.

BILL WHAT

Psych, dude! ROFLMAO!

~o~O~o~

The next night, Gwen received a call on the home phone in the living room. She looked at the caller ID: Roberto Ramos. She sighed and answered. “What do you need, Robby?”

“Well, hello to you too,” said the voice on the receiver. “That’s a rude way to answer the phone, even for your ex-husband.”

“You only call if you’re in need. It would be great if you called regularly just to shoot the breeze with one of your three kids. But no, it’s only once or twice a year, and then it’s for a favor, or money, or something. So …?”

“I’m going to make you a liar, Gwen. See, I AM calling to see if I can come over and talk to one of our kids.”

“Only one? Let me guess. Bill.”

“Yeah. Is it true what I heard? That he’s a pansy little sissy now?”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Malachi told me. Sometimes I call him on his cell. He still speaks to me nice, like a son should treat his father.”

That’s because I divorced you when he was 5; too young to remember how horrible you were, Gwen fumed silently. “Malachi described Bill as a pansy sissy? Those words?”

“No. He said his bro was wearing dresses. How in the hell are you letting him do that? What did you do to him? l bet the problem is that damn homeschooling; all he does is hang around with ‘Mommy’ all day, and now he wants to be you.”

She ignored the verbal insults. “Robby. If ‘Willow’ wants to talk with you on the phone, then I’ll let her. But if you get abusive or threatening, then the conversation’s over.”

“You mean I can’t come over in person?”

“Did you hear the words ‘abusive’ and ‘threatening’? You were a hair’s breadth from assaulting me the last time we met in person. This talk happens on the phone or not at all.”

“Fine. Get the faggot on the line.”

Gwen went to the home intercom. “Willow – please come out to the living room. Your dad – Roberto – is on the phone and wants to talk.”

Willow came, wearing a spaghetti strap top and a denim mini skirt along with some make up and her wig. “Talk? About what?”

“He heard about your dressing, and he’s not happy. You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want.”

“No, I’ll have to some time. Might as well get it over with.” She reached for the phone.

“Honey, do it via speaker. If he gets bad, I need to hear it.” Willow nodded and punched the SPEAKERPHONE button on the phone base.

“Hello, Dad.”

“Bill? What’s this-“

“Dad. It’s Willow now.”

“SON. What’s this I hear about you wanting to be a girl?”

“I don’t want to be; I am one. I should have been one from the start,”

“Uh, Bill –“

“Willow.”

“SON! You were never a girl. You, of all my kids, were the most boyish of boys. I dreamed of us cruising the strip someday with some hookers and a bottle of tequila, father and son. What the hell happened?”

Willow decided to turn the sugar and spice up to 200%. “Daddy. Can I call you that? I really want to. Anyway, Daddy – I’ve been living a lie all my life, and I just didn’t realize it until this month. I’m not your son, Daddy; I’m your daughter.”

“So do you rent chick flicks and cry a river watching them?”

Willow’s tone became suddenly harsh. “No, Daddy. I may be a girl now, but I still don’t cry. I can’t cry; it doesn’t ‘happen’ for me. Not since –“

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve told me. Not since I spanked you so hard as a little kid that I left welts on your butt. That was good for you, SON. It hardened you up. Until you decided to do this girly act. I have to tell you, this is a huge disappointment for me, you being like this. I need to let people know that whatever made you do this, it ain’t from me. None of your freaky faggot flamin’ tranny tendencies are from my side of the family, got it? In fact, just don’t consider me your Dad until you come to your senses. And I better not ever hear you call me ‘Daddy’ one goddamn time more. Do you hear me, you piece of shit?”

Gwen gasped and reached out for the END CALL button, but Willow’s left hand blocked her. The girl glanced at her mother and did a quick shake of the head. She remained silent; her eyes were wide open, her breathing slow and measured, with just a slight tremor in her clenched, white knuckled right hand. In her head, a savage conflict was occurring.

Don’t lose it, don’t lose it, don’t blow it, don’t blow your top THAT SON OF A BITCH I’LL SHOVE HIS no, no, no, NO, no I won’t! If I revert to Bill now I blow the plan! That bastard doesn’t deserve to have me throw away my freedom for him. There’s another way to get him. Yes, that’s it. Breathe. In. Out. Ahhh. Now … what would Willow say?

“Hey – I said, do you hear me, you piece of-“

“YES. Yes I heard you, loud and clear. Look, sir. You may hate my guts. Fine; I still need to be who I need to be. And no matter how much hate you give me, I’m going to always have a love for you. ‘Cause you’re my Daddy. But I won’t allow you to see me or talk to me ever again.

“I’ll have a successful life without you, Daddy. I’m going to wear bikinis at the beach and have boys want me. I’m going to get married someday in a huge white dress, and have my husband take me to Tahiti for our honeymoon. He’ll be making love to me under the stars. As he does, I’ll be thanking you, Daddy.

“See, I’m a girl because of you. I grew up with you as the man in my life. I saw you hitting your wife and kids. I saw you ignore us and steal from us, and stay drunk all weekend every weekend. So a few weeks ago I realized: If you are the example I have to follow to be a man, then I’d rather not be one. Being a girl is so much better than risking growing up to be like you.

“Now you have a nice life, Daddy. Goodbye.”

Willow punched the end call button and turned to her stunned mother. She took a big breath then exhaled it.

“Momma, I – I need something to cool me down.”

“You and me both, Willow. There’s some Blue Bell ice cream in the freezer; I’ll scoop us some. And by the way, daughter – I’m so proud of you.”

~o~O~o~

The tension in the Eiken’s Cadillac Escalade was high. Willliam was driving; he’d rescheduled two patients and drove home so he, Gwen and Willow could go to Dr. Estrada’s office for their appointment. Willow had forced the issue, demanding to get started on testosterone blockers and hormones. She refused to let the subject drop and had been pleading day and night for most of the week to get her way.

Gwen held her husband’s right hand from her spot in the front passenger seat. The couple had talked about how to deal with these demands. William was pretty sure that she couldn’t get a hormone prescription at the age of 15; he’d done some internet research regarding transgender estrogen therapy. Gwen explained that to Willow, but she refused to accept the information from her parents. So today Dr. Estrada would give Willow the news and she’d have to accept it. It seemed a simple thing to accomplish.

So why is my stomach doing flip-flops, wondered Gwen.

Willow continued to act cool, but inside she was determined and just a little concerned. Things were never supposed to have gotten this far. She’d been sure that her demands would have had her kicked out for being a biblical abomination; either that, or her Mom and Stepdad would have fought so bad they’d have split up, weakening their resolve on her perpetual grounding. Either way, there was no way that her parents would consider allowing her to take chemicals to change her sex. Except now the three of them were going to the gender specialist to discuss that very thing.

The teenager had dressed up in her most girly presentation so far: a bright yellow sundress with a floral sash, strappy sandals on her feet, large hoops dangling from her ears. Her skills in dressing and makeup had really blossomed over the last two weeks. Finger and toenails were painted yellow, eyebrows were evenly thin and arched, eyes were gorgeously adorned with shadow, liner and mascara. Her long bob wig was framed perfectly around her face. A light spritz of Chloe’ perfume topped off this ultra-feminine cupcake.

Maybe as the folks see me like this it will push them further towards the edge. Maybe the Professor will think I’m doing too much to fast, and will tell me to back off. Either way, I can’t let any of them know this is just a sting. Don’t abandon the plan. Except as a last resort. What would a “last resort’ situation be? Willow wondered.

“Hello, Eiken family. Is everyone comfortable?” Dr. Estrada entered the therapy room where Willow and her folks had been waiting. He was a heavy-set fellow with some moderate male pattern baldness; his hair was black with grey mixed in. Thick glasses sat on his nose, and his brown jacket squeezed a little too tight around his shoulders as he sat down and leaned towards his clients.

"Well, I was comfortable," replied Willow, "until your nurse poked me with a needle to draw blood as soon as I got here. What was that for?"

“It has everything to do with the reason that you are here; I need to check your baseline levels if we consider therapy. After all," Estrada stated, "I was told by my assistant that you, young lady, want to start on medication?”

Willow spoke up. “Yes sir, please. I can’t stand the thought of puberty changing me into a man; that grosses me out.”

“You are in the midst of male puberty right now, Willow. Your voice seems a little more masculine than the average child’s, but not really drastically low in tone. Your muscles have some definition, and your shoulders appear to be getting wide. Hair growth is starting on your chin, though I didn’t see any on your torso during my first exam. It’s impossible to tell how much more masculine you’ll get, but I suspect you have a lot more to come – unless we intervene.”

“Ugh! I hate my chin hair! We’ve got to do something. Starting hormones now is my best chance to become as real a girl as I can, right?”

“But wasn’t it just a few months ago that you were doing many macho things of your own volition? Lifting weights and getting all those muscles; talking with your stepfather about ‘getting a chica so I can get some pussy’?”

“Well, I still would like a pussy – but I want to own it,” she smiled. “I think I acted macho to try to drown out any girl urges.” At least that’s what all those online transgender testimonials say, Willow thought. “I muscled up and joined the army because I was …” what’s the word they used?

“So you think you were overcompensating?” offered Estrada.

THAT’S the word! “Yes – I think that’s why. But I am so much calmer; life is so much sweeter now that I’m living my true life. It will be ruined if I get all hairy and deep-voiced, though! But my parents – ESPECIALLY my Momma – won’t allow it! I think William disagrees with her on this, and they have been fighting – hooo boy, have they ever!. The stress level is getting worse and worse. I don’t know if I can continue to live this way.”

“Oh? Willow – have you been considering ending your life?”

“What? NO!” Wait a minute – if I was, would that help my plan? “Uh … I mean, I don’t know - maybe?”

Estrada turned towards the parents. “Has Willow continued to be pleasant and obedient, or has she relapsed into the rebelliousness and anger that she had when she was Bill?”

The mother replied. “Actually, she is an absolute joy. She listens, she minds, she opens up and talks to me at times. And the other day she handled a difficult phone conversation with her birth father with such aplomb and restraint! I have to confess – I absolutely love her as my daughter.” Gwen’s voice started to falter. “The problem is, she isn’t my daughter. She’s my son. I still believe it is morally wrong for my son to change his sex.” Now tears were running down her face.

Prof. Estrada nodded and pursed his lips; then proceeded to a different subject. “You remember that on our first visit I said most transgender girls will want to have hormone therapy; that it’s something you’d eventually have to deal with.”

William’s eyes widened. “But the key word is ‘eventually’, right? Willow’s barely had two weeks of living and dressing like this full time.”

“Yes. However, my theory is that she is highly overdue for her transition; her dysphoria was probably the driving factor behind all of her rebellion and lawbreaking behavior. Further delaying her transition could lead to a relapse of that, I fear. It is absolutely imperative that we start testosterone blockers. And it’s probably advisable to start estrogen as well.”

Gwen now was bawling; William looked as if he was in shock. He finally recovered his voice: “Hey! Everything I’ve read on transgender females and hormone therapy says they usually wait ‘til a child is 18 to start estrogen!”

“That was true. However, the thinking on that is changing. I am one of the ones who believe 15 years old is not too young to start hormone therapy. There are a number of cases around the country now where this has been done.”

“But what if Willow changes her mind later – decides after eight months or so that she really doesn’t want this? These drugs will give her irreversible side effects by then!”

“Probably not completely irreversible. She might want to have her sperm frozen just in case. If she decided to detransition, any effects that lingered probably could be dealt with by surgery. But these are all moot points; I’m nearly 100% confident that she will be fulfilled, happy and more socially and psychologically stable with this medical treatment.”

“But … I don’t feel right about this. I’m a man of science, a professional like you, but this is too fast, too soon, and we’re still too uncertain about Willow’s motives.”

Estrada shrugged. “I don’t sense any deception in her.”

Boy, do I have him fooled, Willow thought. I’m so damn good at this. Too good, maybe. This dude wants to start me on hormone pills! But Mom and William won’t let it happen; then we go to court. This is it, my moment of freedom.

Estrada now frowned at William. “You have valid concerns. But I feel the danger of delaying transition outweighs the dangers of starting now. If you don’t agree, I think you could be putting your own fears above the welfare of your child.”

William paled as he contemplated those words. There it is – the implicit threat of legal action. The doc mentioned Child Protective Services in the previous visit. If I resist, they take Bill away and start the therapy. If I agree, he stays with us and gets the therapy. Either way he gets hormone therapy. My God. It has come to this.

William grabbed Gwen’s hand and squeezed it. “Okay, Doctor. If this is really medically sound, and if Willow really wants it, she can have the blockers.”

“I do recommend the estrogen also,” Estrada added.

“Dammit. Why can’t we …” William’s shoulders were slumped in defeat. “Okay, that too.”

Willow’s jaw hit the floor and her mind went blank.

Estrada smiled. “Excellent. Now, Willow, this is a big decision. Are you sure this is what you want?”

The girl finished scraping her chin off the ceramic tile and responded. “Oh yes! This is my dream come true!” … No problem. I’ll just flush the pills down the john daily. It’ll look like I’m taking them, and I’ll be one of those trannies that the estrogen just doesn’t seem to work on. There are trannies like that, right?

“All right. William, please sign these forms and slips – there are a lot of them. Willow, read through these warnings and what to expect. I’ll be back with your medicines.”

“Hey, wait!” William was looking for a way out of this madness. “Don’t we have to have a second opinion from like an endocrinologist to start this?”

Estrada tilted his head. “Did I not give you my card last time? I’m dual board certified, in psychiatry and endocrinology. A full service gender specialist physician, able to do all but the surgeries. I’ll be back with your shots, young lady.”

When he returned, Willow spoke up. “Shots? Uh, Doctor - can’t I take pills?”

“These injections are what I prefer to use with my patients, Willow. It ensures compliance. They’ll need to go in your buttocks, one for each side. Your mother can act as our female chaperone. Bend over, please.”

And just like that, Willow was on estrogen and blocker therapy.

Estrada gathered up the signed forms. “Included in the consent forms were forms to apply for a legal name and gender change. I’ll get my staff to work on them, but it will take weeks for it all to go through. Meanwhile, Willow, I’ll see you back here every 2 weeks for your shots and your required counseling.” He then left the therapy room.

William stood up unsteadily, still reeling from what had taken place. “I feel like we all just tried to take a quick peek into a sausage machine, got sucked in and spat out the other side, a trio of weenies roasting on the grill.”

Gwen still was sniffling; she walked to Willow and pulled the child’s head to her shoulder. “God, honey … I hope this isn’t a huge mistake … but you’re happy at least, right?”

Willow could manage only a whisper. “Yeah, Momma. Like I said, it’s a dream come true.” She tried to pull up The Plan in her head, but couldn’t find herself on the diagram. She’d gone off the paper, over the edge.

~o~O~o~

To be continued tomorrow.

If you've gotten this far, please leave a comment! Don't make me reach through the screen and tweak your nose!

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Comments

Blood tests

My5InchFMHeels's picture

I guess taking panels is inferred? Does Doc pull the parents aside, maybe just 1 so Willow isn't unaccompanied, and let them know if Willow is just faking, it'll backfire the lie Willow is perpetrating?

You missed the part where they drew blood

On Willow as soon as she arrived. The reason you missed it is I just added it. In my final read-through before posting, I made a mental note to mention blood panels and then forgot (blush face). Thanks for keeping me on my toes!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

My Girl Bill

Podracer's picture

Anyone recall the song?
Anyway, I guess there's a tiny chance that Willow will take root and become a reality, though Bill's history suggests more of a coming train wreck.

"Reach for the sun."

Jim Stafford!

On the same album that had "Spiders and Snakes", "Wildwood Weed", and "Swamp Witch"! Totally forgot about that song; how apropos for this story!

As to your second thought, why couldn't there be both a train wreck and tree taking root? Just theorizing, not spoiler-ing. (Sigh hums an innocent little tune as she saunters slowly away).

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

delusional or something more?

Now the question is, when will (s)he tell his/her parents the truth? I mean (s)he'd have to be either seriously delusional or actually trans to keep on going, when his/her parents seem to accept it.

As to that question,

You'll find out sometime this week. :)

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

is the doc really fooled

I'm not convinced the doc is really fooled by anything "Willow" is saying or doing. I suspect he either knows or suspects much more than he is letting on.

Yet, if so, he's still RXing hormones in spite of suspicion

This is one of the opinions I hold, and have mentioned on BC before. Not all docs are free from personal bias when it comes to treating disease. An overeager approach to treating and diagnosing potential TG patients can lead to pushing a person down a path he/she is not needing or even just ready to take yet. See the doc described in "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl" book, and listen to the testimonies in "transition regret" stories; they describe docs who were overeager to diagnose and treat anyone who said the right words. I've written Estrada as a competent doc who may be falling into the overeager category. He'll get "fleshed out" a little more as the story goes along.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Yeah, as I said:

Monique S's picture

He's just going to "love" the effects. Be careful what you wish for, Willow it might and now it actually has happened.

Not that the effects will be all that sudden, unless there already was a weakness in the testoterone levles. But even then it will take some months of injections at least. We don't know, however, what kind of dosage the "good doctor" has had in mind. 4-6 mg of estradiol as a daily dose in a boy with insufficient testosterone to start with can cause a rather rapid change. The progynom depot injections that were common in Germany at my time were 200mg! At every other week we'd be talking 14mg a day. Even if they halved the dosage per injection nowadays it would still be top of the range.

But remember, when they were first testing anti baby pills, they tested them on men as well with insanely high dosages of estrogen close to 20mg a day! Of course that resulted in rapid breast growth in adult males.

Monique S

Great info!

Thanks, Monique. Great backstory for this part of the tale! This was an awesome comment!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Of course there's an alternative

That the doc isn't convinced but practices his own deception and gives the blocker but the hormone shot is saline. However Bill has read about the effects and shows evidence of them like morning sickness as he has a psychosomatic reaction to the shots. It would be much the same as the husbands of pregnant women having sympathy pains.

Commentator
Visit my Caption Blog: Dawn's Girly Site

Visit my Amazon Page: D R Jehs

Similar to a placebo

There are medical ethics problems in giving a patient a saline shot and essentially lying to them that they're getting actual therapy. In certain cases could be considered malpractice, I understand.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Ah but Dr. Estrada

Is also a psychiatrist and could easily argue that it was a medical necessity for the patient's benefit and test of his resolve because he is not convinced of Bill's sincerity and giving him real hormones could cause irreparable harm. Just an alternative approach. I like playing with the possibilities.

Commentator
Visit my Caption Blog: Dawn's Girly Site

Visit my Amazon Page: D R Jehs

That's a plausible scenario!

(But not the one I wrote into the story, as you'll see in coming days.) Kudos, though!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

time will tell

Miyata's picture

Bill may get a different Freedom than what he was expecting.
Now he'll find out if any of his past transgressions will come back to haunt him.
Like his illicit drug use. At a young age, stuff like that could have adverse side effects.
I think She'll find out sooner than he thinks.

Miyata312

'Do or Do Not, There is no Try' - Yoda

Hmmm! Sounds like you read Willow's horoscope!

I don't really believe in Horoscopes.
(We Libras are naturally skeptical though, so who knows?)

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

nope, just real life

Miyata's picture

Horoscope? Not one bit. Just following the story line.
Plus, I heard through a LEO Friend, that they had arrested a dealer that was cutting his product with all sorts of ingrediants..
Some of them included stuff like baking soda, ex-lax in powder form, and birth control pills.

Miyata312

'Do or Do Not, There is no Try' - Yoda

Hmmm

littlerocksilver's picture

There are many ways to guess what's really going on. I suspect there's going a point of no return, a self assessment, and maybe a realization that maybe Willow was rally there.

Portia

Point of no return + self assessment = ...

... the Point of Know Return! (Great old Kansas rock tune)
Sorry; just "pun riffing" on your comment.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Thank you, Sigh,

' and for Willow, welcome to womanhood !! A better result than what the little delinquent was planning .

But you and I are biased, right?

'Cause I bet we both wish in a way that Willow's fate had befallen us at age 15 (or even earlier)!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Big girls don't cry

The speech to her sperm donor makes me think that maybe a tiny bit of Willow is real, but Bill's been suppressing her. And that no crying thing has come up again. The title gives me hope that perhaps eventually she becomes emotionally healthy.

Yay!

Someone mentioned the conversation between Willow and her genetic dad! I was so proud of her. (I know, I'm the writer and I wrote it that way, but I can be proud of a character can't I?)

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Humility,

if not freely welcomed into one's soul, must oft be forced there - via friend or enemy.
- Samuel Ignacio "Gus" Howard. (S.I.G.H.)

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

I loved the speech to ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... psycho-daddy. Too bad it wasn't how Bill really felt. As I read this story George Thorogood's "Bad To The Bone" keeps running through my head. I would hope femininity would be reformative, but my guess is, unless something really traumatic happens, Willow'll just be a bad girl version of Bill.

BE a lady!

I knowingly delayed my reply to this until part 5 posted

So I can now say "a trauma - how prescient you are!" without spoiler-ing anything!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

He he snerk

Alice-s's picture

Oh what a tangled web we weave when we set out to deceive. Lucky girl.

She doesn't feel that lucky

- yet!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Given the hypo in the picture

Brooke Erickson's picture

Given the hypo in the picture, I rather expected this.

Of course, if Willow had been younger, the preferred choice (especially for a mere 6 month trial) would have been puberty suppressants, not anti-androgens and hormones.

Puberty suppressants are a *lot* more expensive (like $1000/month) bu are completely reversible because they *literally* put puberty on hold (they stop a gland in the brain from secreting the hormone that tells the rest of the body that it's puberty. So once you quit taking them your puberty resumes right where it left off. Great for the "not sure" cases.

Of course, Willow's plan wouldn't have worked even with pills. They do a baseline blood test to establish hormone levels before they start you on the drugs, and do more as you go along to see if the dosage needs adjustment.

That second test would have blown things wide open when it revealed that her levels hadn't changed.

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

Holy plot holes, Batman!

You may have uncovered a plot hole or 2 I forgot to close, like where were the baseline levels.
I do know that pediatric specialists are starting teenagers on hormones to transition them. Then when some change their mind later (which occurs not uncommonly) the new breasts and hips have to be ... lived with or dealt with.

Loved your comment Brooke!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

As far as I know, it's not

Brooke Erickson's picture

As far as I know, it's not legal anywhere in the US to give hormones (as opposed to puberty suppressants) before 16, more often before 18.

But you'll hear the fundies ranting about it even though it doesn't acttually happen.

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

So daddy did it?

Jamie Lee's picture

After the conversation between Robby, Gwen, and Willow it's now easy to see where Bill got the attitude to get into drugs and selling them.

Robby is commonly know as a pig, a piece of trash that's best served composting in the landfill. His idea of being a man is from an era when women had one role and one role only. Men controlled every aspect of life, and Robby was taught that very attitude by his father. It's no wonder Gwen divorced his, and not fast enough since his attitude rubbed off on Bill.

Bill may not heard of "plans of mice and men," or he would have realized that no plan can factor in everything that could go wrong. Well, his grand plan to emancipate himself didn't factor in a very stupid psychiatrist who could see the light through tissue paper if the sun was behind it. His rush to judgement with Willow shows how incompetent he is, even giving Willow blockers and hormones before Willow's blood sample had been anylized. The man is a duck, a quack.

Bernard was right, Bill should have been careful. Because when plans backfire they often really backfire. Bet Bill never planned on getting his name and gender changed. The hole Bill thought he was digging to escape has now turned into a hole into a different world. The world of being female.

Others have feelings too.

Oh yeah

I have had a few "Robbys" in my life, so that character was definitely drawn from real-world experience.
You know, when I was thinking up this story I wondered if this psychiatrist (Dr. Estrada) would be believable - a professional starting a child (Bill was 15) on hormones. But as any perusal of the news will tell, child psychiatrists/child endocrinologists across the US and Europe (and Asia?) are doing just that. (Especially in Brazil/South America, it seems!). So we are seeing the phenomenon of kids who change their mind about transitioning but already have a big artificial female puberty going, with breasts and wide hips. That's going to have societal repercussions eventually!

Hey, thanks so much for your meaty comment!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell