“You told him you had anxiety?” Melissa raised an eyebrow, her hand poised on the meeting room door. On the other side would be the rest of the main cast, Josh Barnes as Jean Val Jean, Caitlyn Reedy playing Fantine, and a host of other people. The only people who would be missing were the bystanders for the musical numbers. There were about fifty of those, some students, some people from around Woodcrest who fancied themselves aspiring actors. “Are you EVER going to tell him the truth?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “He’s my best friend but…I’m just afraid that if I tell him, he won’t be.”

“Okay question,” Melissa stopped me. “If he isn’t going to be your friend anymore over something like this then was he really your friend to begin with? Is he really worth keeping around?”

“I…” I started to speak but she cut me off rapidly by pulling on the door handle and walking briskly into the conference room which was nothing more than a barebones classroom with theater posters on the wall, from Rent to Phantom of the Opera and everything in between. The walls themselves were bare brick, a stark contrast to the rest of the school and I couldn’t help but wonder if the Bohemian aesthetic was a matter of coincidence or intent. In lieu of desks there as beanbag chairs, recliners, and a few couches, all of which were occupied by cast members. They barely acknowledged us as we walked in, lost in their own conversations or leafing through the script. A few people were scrolling on their phones, though not many. I hurriedly crossed the room and took one of the empty seats on a worn couch next to a blonde girl pouring over the script and drinking from a thermos. The murmuring in the room began to die down as Melissa cleared her throat and surveyed the room.

“Thanks everyone for coming!” She said in her usual upbeat tone. “We’re still missing our Eponine but as always I have total faith that she’s been practicing. If not, we have a backup plan. Okay, so moving on, the biggest problem we’re facing right now is some of the special effects. Um, the sewer scene near the end of the play, we need a working fogger to simulate it and the one we have is broken. So if anyone has a fogger laying around….?”

“I think I have one in my garage,” A guy said. I think he was playing Thénardier in the production. I wasn’t sure though.

“That is AWESOME!” Melissa said enthusiastically. “Okay, so next, I want to introduce everyone to my niece, Leila, she’ll be playing the role of Cosette and she’s very excited!”

From the front row a young brunette girl stood and walked forward, turning around to glance a the room before looking up at Melissa.

“EXCUSE me,” Leila snapped. “You said there would be cookies. I don’t SEE any cookies.”

“Well, acting is its own reward,” Melissa said, smiling. “And you’re excited, right?”

“I want my damn cookies!” Leila stomped before storming out of the room.

“I have lots of faith in my niece, she’ll make a perfect Cosette,” Melissa reassured us as the door slammed. “Okay so before we get on to the script reading, do we have any questions?”

I raised my hand. I don’t know why I was doing it, I just knew I had to. It had to be done, right now. The sense of despair permeating my very core was too much to bear. My stomach lurched as Melissa turned to me and smiled.

“Yes, Todd?” She asked. All eyes were on me, there was no turning back now.

“I um…have…something to say,” I almost whispered.

“Well why don’t you come up here?” She motioned to me. Everyone was still staring at me, I felt like I was under a microscope but it would have been even stranger if I’d just said ‘never mind’ and sat back down. I exhaled heavily and stood from the couch, walking forward to the front of the room. A quick glance over at Melissa revealed a look of concern but also support, her hazel eyes regarded me softly and I wondered if she knew what I was about to do. Probably not, I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I cleared my throat and closed my eyes for a moment before speaking. Keeping my gaze firmly on the floor, I finally spoke.

“Hey…everyone, um…you know me as um…Todd, and um…I’ve been here for a few weeks, practicing with you to um…play an extra, I guess. So I…well…I just want to introduce myself…again,” I folded my hands in front of me, squeezing my fingers and playing with them over and over as I tried to push back the anxiety that was filling up behind my eyes, like a pool reaching maximum capacity. I needed to say it, I just needed to say it. Come on god dammit, say it. “My…my…name is…I’m…”

Amidst my stammering and fidgeting I felt a warmth in my hand, a softness. I slowly looked to my right and saw Melissa taking my hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. She gave me a look of encouragement, and it may have helped, but I couldn’t tell the difference.

“My name…is Audrey and…I’m…I’m going to be playing a girl in the play…”

I’d said it. The words had left my mouth, there was no taking them back now. The die for public humiliation had been cast and as silence hung over the room, I dreaded the fate that was about to be bestowed upon me. I waited, and waited, but it was Melissa who spoke first.

“Audrey,” She said softly, her hand still firmly grasping mine. “This isn’t just a theater class, we’re a family here and you’re part of it. If you say you’re Audrey, then you’re Audrey, and no one here is going to attack you or give you a hard time over it.”

“That’s right,” The girl who I had been sitting beside said, standing up. “You’re one of us, whether your name is Todd, or Audrey, or…anything else. You’re safe with us.

The rest of the room murmured in agreement, I looked to Melissa who was now regarding me with a huge smile.

“I’m so proud of you,” She said, wrapping me in a hug that warmed me to the core. “We’ll make his work, you’re going to be yourself, or at least a girl in the play. I promise.”

“And if anyone has a problem with it,” Brandon Reynolds, one of the other actors stood up wearing a French military hat. “ Then let them answer to Javert!”

The silence held for a moment, and then, finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I burst out laughing along with the rest of the room. Melissa released me as members of the theater class came forward to embrace me and give words of encouragement. I had expected this to go so badly, but instead, this was the best I’d ever felt in my life. I wasn’t out to Mason, or the rest of the world, but here in this room, I was Audrey, and for right now that was enough. All was right with the world.