When the County Sheriff came out so did the people to look and now say it was a shame. I heard one woman, wanting to be the one to describe the most gruesome part. “Those mean boys even kicked her high on her legs. One boy even knelt down and said something awful. I could not only see her pain, but as another woman could feel it.”

I was at the hospital and had my initial examination when I asked them to could call Dr. Holy Campbell or Dr. Caruthers. They told me, “We’re better prepared to handle this situation, maybe you can see one of them tomorrow, if you are kept for observation.”

My temper was already boiling about what happened; I didn’t need to be pacified and be spoken down to. I said, “That might be, but I am requesting whichever one is the handiest to see me be told I’d like to see them if possible. Even if that is not convenient to them or you!”

Dr. Holy was in the hospital with another patient in stress and came to me as she was waiting on some tests for her other patient. She was empathetic from the start even before I told her what I hadn’t told others yet. “Dr. Holy after they knocked me down and kicked me. The one named Jared put his hand up my skirt and…” I began to cry, though I fought it. “…and he groped me. He even got in my panty.” Then I began to cry uncontrollably.

She turned to the Emergency room Physician who was upset with me. “Since her panty is still on; I am guessing you didn’t take any swabs of her body parts there.”

The Physician said, “She was kicked in the leg, what did you want me to do? Check for heel or sole residue?”

Dr. Holly stepped away from me with the other doctor and calmly, though forcefully explained. “She was manhandled. She needs to be checked and the police need to be notified there was more to the encounter. And there is no maybe about her being kept overnight! I formally request that she be admitted as my patient to the OB/GYN floor. I want at least two rooms between her and my other patient, __. She will be down the hall where everyone won’t be walking by.”

I wasn’t in terrible pain by the time I was to my room, as I was already on some pain meds, but I was shaking. The next day, I was angry about having my penis. I had wanted in a hurry to have it removed.

I had lost my interest in cheering, Christmas, and the company of family or friends. Dr. Caruthers had come and I thought I was processing things, but I guess not really. It was to be my last day at the hospital and Doctors Campbell and Caruthers visited with me together with my parents and Shannon.

They had the forms needed for my request for special permission to have my unwanted penis removed and a vagina to be formed. I was told I needed to heal before I could have the surgery. I also had second thoughts about having the surgery.

They were reading the forms and explaining things, as I was thinking to myself. Then I began to talk and cry at the same time. “I just want to be a regular girl. The penis is not that important. Why can’t I go for pizza and it not be a special issue?”

Shannon held one hand and I held a cloth I could cry into in the other hand. I turned to Dr. Holly and asked, “If I wear nude tights do you think I would look fine as a cheerleader?”

Holly didn’t argue, “Do you really think that is a good idea?”

“It would be good for me, if the team didn’t mind." It was more mental and emotional than physical. "Being active, will be better than being home sulking.”

Dr. Holly said, “If you have three good days in a row, I will consider giving you permission.

I knew Anne was out in the hall and I was hoping Scott would be by to see if I was up to a visitor. He had given me a large stuffed lion and someone had put a sailor hat on it.

Shannon and Anne walked me down the hall and we talked. I would be released after 2:00 and Scott made it there after my lunch. He felt bad that he hadn’t been able to protect me better.

He wouldn’t say it, but he wished I hadn’t tried to protect his car. Shannon and I had talked previously, she wondered if it was a natural reaction for Rob to try protect his friend’s stuff.

I thought it was Rose hoping they’d respect her as a girl not to hurt her. We agreed that was not a good decision since they weren’t seeing me as a girl.

Once we were home, I was thankful for a shower at home to get rid of the antiseptic smell of being in the hospital. Once I was downstairs with my parents and sisters around me, Sonja presented me something bundled up in a towel. It moved as I took hold of it. I opened it up as it was squirming out. She’s a precious Brittany spaniel predominately buff and white. My sisters were in unison as they said, “You need someone to love and love you back with no questions.”

I wasn’t immediately sure I wanted a puppy, but I could not help love her kisses and wanting to snuggle her in my arms and up to my face. I took her out back and she quickly went to the bathroom.

Shannon was one to first ask, “What’s her name going to be?”

I and others tossed out name after name: Buffy, Brittany, Honey, Jessa, Girl, and more. Someone mentioned Nala and it meaning ‘beloved’. I liked Honey because of her buff color hair, but thought too many of my parents’ friends call the other ‘honey’. Someone mentioned our new friends on the USS Cook. Ensign or Captain could work, but Dad said, “She needs a long distinctive name to go along with her pedigree.”

“I am not having a presumptuous name; it needs to be sometime like Cookie Queen of her Royal Navy.” Shannon immediately says, “I like it!” Everyone chimed in agreement.

There was a knock on the door, but the person didn’t wait to come in. I knew it had to be Anne or Grandma Nobil and it ended up being both. Grandma was going to stay overnight and Anne was just being herself. Cookie made her presence known. She jumped to Anne and then back again as Anne sat next to me. Grandma took a picture of her first great grand puppy.

We celebrated with pizza and then ice cream but I resisted the fudge and whipped cream toppings as I splurged too much when I was more deeply depressed. I was glad when everything settled down and I could go to bed. Like other girls, going to sleep included time chatting via social media.

I was soon tired and happy that Cookie was exhausted too. She was better than any stuffed animal as I fell asleep with her snuggled next to me.

Shannon was happy come the morning, saying, “Rose slept better than any time I’ve been around recently. Cookie and she got along really well, both slept straight through.”

I was happy to take Cookie out, once she had done what was necessary she jumped around and played. While she wasn’t accident-free she did very well. Cookie is adorable with her floppy ears and big eyes. Whether I was stretching on the floor or standing she was bouncing around or on me.

The cheer team stopped by and they soon had me up doing cheers with them. It wasn’t without some tears, but I was happy with how well I did. Sharon said yes to the use of nude tights for a week to ten days. That would last into the holiday tournament at Cherry Hill.

I treated myself to going down the street to visit Audrene Trullo, little Marie, and baby Stephanie. Audrene was delighted that I brought Cookie. “I am glad you allow Marie to come and visit you and Cookie. She so wants a puppy or kitten but Nick and I want all our children a little older so a pet can grow up with them.”

She brought out some cookies and milk as we watched Marie and Cookie playing together. I could talk with Audrene in a way that was easier and more open than I did with other adults. She was direct, yet loving. “So when do you think you want your surgery?”

I said, “Well if I have it over spring break, I will probably only miss a few days of school. And then I’d be able to enjoy the summer as a regular girl. But if I wait for the summer, I would have the who summer to recuperate. Maybe sometime in July I would look good in a regular swimsuit.”

Audrene took time to nurse Stephanie and I held Marie on my lap. I was soon juggling Cookie and Marie. Audrene asked, “Are you glad that your hips are already giving you a girly shape?”

I guess I knew it but I had wondered because others hadn’t said anything. I stood up and there I was balancing Marie on my hip as I was holding onto Cookie as well.

Nick, Audrene’s husband, had come into the room and he too complimented me. “Rose you’re becoming a very attractive young woman. You’re almost as beautiful as my wife.”

Audrene had finished nursing Stephanie and raised her up so Nick could burp her. I was invited to stay for supper and it was snowing when I took Cookie out to be a good girl outside. It is nice to be someplace I don’t have three sisters or friends I have to share with. It was seven in the evening when there was a ring at the door. It was Sierra and she had brought me some sleepwear and a change of clothes for tomorrow.

I got to see what Marie was getting for Christmas as I helped Audrene to wrap Christmas gifts. My pajamas were warm and modest. We put Marie to sleep at eight and Audrene told me I would need to go to sleep at ten. She didn’t want me to wake Marie. “If you wake Marie up at eleven or later; she is terrible in getting back to sleep. You remind me of my younger sister Carly. I loved coming in and saying goodnight to her when I was responsible for watching her.”

I jumped into the role of little sister and said, “I’ll do it if you’ll give me a goodnight kiss and tuck me in.” That was already Audrene’s intention.

It was nice to stay up talking with her and Nic. He was an environmental engineer and they both had a strong concern for wildlife and the environment. Come ten, I took out Cookie one more time and then we were in bed. Audrene sat next to me on the bed. She said a little prayer for me like I was a little girl. “Lord help her to be patient and take time to grow into the person she’s becoming. Help her to know she’s a beautiful young woman deserving of friendships and even romance. May she respect herself and enable others to do the same. I thank you that Marie holds her up as a person she wants to be like. We pray for her family and now a good night’s rest. Amen.”

She tucked in the blanket around me and gave me a kiss on my cheek saying goodnight. I said, “Good night Aunt Audrene.” She loved hearing it as much as I loved saying it.

After breakfast with Marie, I took Cookie and we went home. I took a bath, and was happy to see my bruises were beginning to fade.

Anne and I went to buy the last of our Christmas gifts. We stopped at Anne’s house and she insisted I come into the house. When her mother stayed with us in their living room. I knew something special was up.

Anne said, “I wanted my Mom here because of what I have to say and I don’t want you to take it wrong and we lose our friendship.” I sat down, not knowing what was coming and Anne sat next to me. “We were going to wait until after college and we probably still should. But I have a need to be selfish. All these things that happen to you and I’m there acting as just a friend. I need you to know there is more. I love you.”

I looked at Anne and then Mrs. Evans. We already knew each other as our best friend. She said, “I know we’re too young to be serious and that we both need to go our ways for college and whatever. But I told my Mom and she said that I should be honest with you so we can share things from time to time.”

There were feelings and my body was responding differently. I took hold of both of Anne’s hands and then leaned to give her a kiss. Our lips met lightly, tenderly even as we hugged.

Audrey Evans was now sitting across from us. We apologized for kissing each other. She softly said, “I’m just glad you stopped there. I saw this coming ever since you became the girl next door that Anne fell in love with years ago. I am not naive enough to think nothing is going to happen between you, but I will remind you there needs to be more. I am not encouraging things that I think should wait. But if either of you stops from becoming the young woman you should be? Well, I think that would be a shame. We have struggled because I became a single parent without the proper education to land a better job. I love Anne and I almost love you as much Rose. I want you two, to wait, but it has become evident that it hurt Anne to love you without you knowing it. Each time you get hurt, get a new friend or celebrate something; it has hurt Anne. It hurt that you didn’t know how much she loved you.”

“She’s half a year older than you and a year ahead of you in school. Come next December she might even be ready to graduate from school and begin college.”

Anne spoke up and changed the conversation, “I don’t expect you to quit dating boys. But I do hope you will still love me too and that you will consider going to the prom as my girlfriend. I know you are dating Scott and if you would want to go to prom with him or some other boy from another school. I’d kind of understand that.”

I was overwhelmed and my head was foggy in thought. “I do love you, but I’m not sure about who I am. I feel attracted to boys as well as you. I’m not sure about kissing you at my house. I guess I could say I still love you. I told Shannon or was it Sierra that I felt like a girl with you before.”

I could see that Anne was relieved and I hugged her again, saying, “Were you afraid of how would react?”

“Mm,” her eyes were watery. “Rose, you’ve been through so much this past year. And you made so many friends and acquaintances. You made the newspapers and more. I’ve worried so many times, but couldn’t say anything.”

I thought, “I guess we assume so much about the other always being there. When I was with Therese, I was afraid she wouldn’t understand about my love for you. I love you, but I’m not sure about myself.”

I didn’t see her leave but her mom had left us alone. We sat and talked until I remembered I should get home.

When I walked into our house Sierra was there and asked, “What’s with you, something is different?” Mom turned and was listening.

I said, “Nothing much, I’ll tell you later.”

Mom said, “That sounds like something, to me; why don’t you tell us now?” That was not really a question, but a command and it drew in my sister Sonja from the next room.

“You all don’t need to know.” Mom took one step and folded her arms, which meant, ‘Out with it.’

“No, it just happened and I need to figure it out myself first. Now let me take my shopping up to my room. I need to wrap some things.”

I went to my room that I share with Shannon. I huff as I close the door behind me. Shannon asks, “And what’s behind that huff?”

I said, “I need to think and everyone’s wanting me to tell them what about?” Shannon gives me hug and suggest I sit and take some time. She’s soon up and walking toward the door. “Don’t, don’t leave. You’re the one I want to talk to.”

“I just found out that Anne’s not just in love with me as a best friend, but in love with the girl me, and always has been.”

Shannon asks, “This goes back when you were younger and played dress up with her?”

“How did you know?”

She says, “I or Sierra saw you a number of times when you were young and out in her backyard. Then as you grew, you would go over to play, but you didn’t say anything. Then last year happened. I knew you were still best friends. She has just seemed to be wanting to say something. How do you feel about learning this?”

“Shannon, I love her as my best friend, but I kissed her a little while ago. It never felt like that before. It was better than kissing Therese or Scott. I’m confused. She wants to go to prom. I’d like that but I’m not ready to commit to anyone, I have too much to grow and learn.”

Shannon asked, “Did she tell you, you had too or stop dating Scott?”

“No. She said, we still needed to go to college and grow to our potential.”

“So why did she tell you she loved you today for?”

I said, “She said, she had to let me know. I love her too. It is like great to know, but it’s different.” I hugged Shannon and she held me.

“It sounds like you two have something very special.”

I spent the rest of the day wrapping gifts and organizing my clothes. Anything to stay busy.

I changed plans and decided I’d go to the Christmas Eve Service with Anne. I didn’t tell Scott anything more than I decided I wanted to spend the day with my best friend.

A bunch of us met early to work out and then spent some more time just as friends. Several remarked that Anne and I were clingier than usual. We smiled and said, “Yes, we decided to celebrate by being together.”

I wore my short green skirt to the service, and my folks had invited the Evans to stop after the service. We wouldn’t be together tomorrow for Christmas as we’d both be with family.

We’d be celebrating the Anderson Christmas at Dad’s sister’s home. It wasn’t too far, but far and busy enough that it took the full day. We did open family gifts at home. I got a beautiful cherry wood jewelry cabinet. But soon after that the focus went away from me. Shannon’s boyfriend arrived before we were to go to Aunt Beth’s. Jonathan Everts had called Dad. Seemingly Sonja had known, but neither Sierra or I had. Jon and Shannon were going to the Anderson Christmas and then leaving for his folks in Connecticut.

Shannon took Sierra and me aside and explained. Sonja knew they were serious because they both attended universities in NYC. Shannon knew she loved Jon but didn’t know until seven-thirty he would be here at eight o’clock. She said, “I never liked surprises until this one!” All they knew or were saying was that the wedding would be latter in the summer or fall.

I was happy for Shannon, but honestly felt slighted that my sister had not let me know how serious her romance with Jon was.

Cousin Calla said, “It shows you don’t have all the intuitive instincts of most girls. Don’t get too upset, as she said she hadn’t thought he’d ask her at least not yet.”

Calla had me go to her room with Sierra and Sonja. We were giving one another facials when Calla said, “I bet each of us has a secret that we haven’t told one another. So everyone should tell of one secret they haven’t shared yet.”

By the expressions of our faces it was true. When it was my turn, I confessed that Anne loved me as a girlfriend. Calla surprised me. “Dah, you think others didn’t suspect that. She has been in the LGBT group in our county for the past year.”

“I was surprised she didn’t scratch out the eyes of Scott who you’ve been seeing. Are you really going to tell me you didn’t know that? She was very supportive of you dressing as Dort last year and being on the cheer team.”

I was in the midst of my facial mask drying, and I took off the pads on my eyes so I could see Calla's expression. Calla said, “I’m surprised you haven’t replaced your boy part with a slit yet!”

The four of us talked, and Calla and my two sisters got down to the nitty gritty with me as they called it.

Sierra said, “It was only recently that our father has come around accepting things. We didn’t encourage Rose to get excited or to anticipate things. Shannon mothered her like a big sister.

To be continued…