Cassandra - Chapter 17

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Cassandra Pers Title.jpg


A family spiralling out of control.
A child forced to grow up too fast.
Is there any room left for a young girl to find herself?


Book Three ‘Womanhood’
Chapter 17 – Growing Up

 



Author's Note:Fame is fleeting, but heartache lasts an awful long time. As ever please be tolerant of my failings, and forthright with your criticism. ~Persephone

Current Score: US (and Irish) Readers 18 – 3 UK Author


Photo by  Christopher Campbell on Unsplash
© Persephone 2019

~o~O~o~

It was three o'clock in the afternoon by the time the team had reassembled at Johnsondale and were able to get on the road. Sam had looked at the state of them, and declared that they would do the after action review when they got back to Pasadena.

“Oh, and the press conference.” He added.

“What press conference?” Joel asked. “We don’t usually do press conferences.”

Sam fixed his eye on Cassie. “We don’t usually have a pretty young teenager and her faithful hound, hunting alone across a barren wilderness to save a Hollywood star from a dramatic plane crash; then safely delivering his wife’s baby daughter with her own hands.”

Cassie winced. She knew what she’d done wrong. “Sorry Sam.” She offered meekly.

“Cookie, there’s a reason we never operate in less than teams of two, minimum. And don’t tell me that Hoover counts.” He held his glare for a long moment before he relaxed.

“However… this is probably the one and only time when it was the right thing to do, so I’ll let you get away with it. There is however, a price to pay.” His face now broke into a grin. “Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the new poster girl of Pasadena Volunteer Search and Rescue; Cookie and her faithful hound Hoover!”

As the rest of the team burst into cheers and laughter, Cassie groaned as she turned to Hoover. “I knew we should have stayed in bed this morning!”

They were an hour out from Pasadena when Cassie had an idea. Impulsively, she pulled out her normal cellphone and called Paris.

“Hi Paris, it’s Cassie. Do you guys represent Matt Lloyd?… You do? Great! Paris, I need a favor…. Yes, I know exactly what just happened, I was there…”. Cassie winced and held the ‘phone away from her ear for a moment. “Jeez Paris! You nearly took my eardrum out… Yes, she’s cute… Yes, gorgeous blue eyes… How should I know? I don’t carry baby scales around with me… Paris listen, the media are going to be swarming all over us when we get back… Yeah, that was us… So can you get us some help before we arrive? … Thanks Paris, you’re a lifesaver!”

Cassie listened for a another couple of minutes. “Yeah, I know,” she sighed, “it’s not like I can hide it if they start digging… Okay, I’ll see you in an hour.”

Cassie ended the call and stared at the screen for a long moment as the rest of the team watched her curiously. Eventually she shook her head and looked up.

“Sam, that was an old friend of mine who works for Matt Lloyd’s agent. She’s going to show up to help us with the press conference. I figured that heavy duty media management isn’t exactly a normal requirement for the team?”

Sam just nodded. “I was wondering how we were going to cope. Good call Cookie.”

“There’s something else Sam. Claire already knows, but I need you guys to be aware before the media gets hold of it.” Cassie drew in a shuddering breath. “Um, I’m trans.”

She looked around to see everyone’s reaction, and was shocked when there wasn’t one.

Joel was the first to say something. “Cassie, you forget where I work. Who do you think had to read all the application essays for this year?”

Sam just shrugged. “Claire had to tell Frank and me in case there was a medical situation when we were training, or on a rescue.”

Cassie stared, round eyed. “And you didn’t say anything?”

He shrugged again. “What was there to say? You’re not the only one who’s LGBT on the team, and it wasn’t anyone else’s business.”

As expected, when they arrived back at the team headquarters the media were already there in force. The good news was that Paris and her team, with Cheryl following along, were also waiting.

She hadn’t even set a foot on the ground when Paris took charge. “Cassie, you’re with Cheryl. Cheryl, face and hair only, we want her looking real. Are you Sam? Great! I’m Paris Trulove from Barnes and Stokes. Now can I suggest that we do the conference in the garage in front of the trucks…”. Cassie didn’t hear any more as Cheryl chased her and Patti into the ladies for a lightning fast makeover and styling.

Before she knew it Cassie and Hoover found themselves in front of the cameras.

“Miss McCarrick, is it true you’ve only been on the team for a few weeks?”
Cassie nodded. “As a qualified support member of the team, yes. But we started formal training back in January, and the Pasadena Volunteer Search and Rescue team has a great training program. Before that I’d already spent a year as a K9 handler with another team and was qualified as an EMT.”

“Miss McCarrick, we’ve heard the guys refer to you as ‘Cookie’. Can you tell us why?”

Cassie shrugged and grinned. “What can I say? I like baking cookies. The guys love eating them. It stuck. If you hang around after we’re done here, I think there might be a box left upstairs.” There were a few chuckles at that.

“Miss McCarrick! Were you worried knowing that it was Matt Lloyd out there?”

“Of course I was worried! I was worried that there were two people and an unborn baby in danger in the middle of the wilderness. Who wouldn’t be worried?” Cassie replied, then allowed a little smile. “As for Mr. Lloyd’s acting career, it was only afterwards that I worried. My aunt would have killed me if Matt couldn’t finish his latest movie!”

The pack laughed appreciatively at her joke. This was all gold as far as ratings in LA were concerned.

“Even so, it was still pretty brave of you to head out after them on your own. It’d make a great scene for one of Matt’s future movies.”

Cassie grimaced at that. “Actually, it was pretty dumb,” she admitted as she gestured to Sam and the other guys around her. “We’re a team, and I’m the most inexperienced. I should have waited for back up. Sam and the guys were working a search pattern on a really dangerous scree slope north of where we eventually found the crash site. Patti was the one who called in the medevac. The Air National Guard crew were the ones who spotted the wreckage and investigated, while the Park Rangers co-ordinated everything that made sure everyone was in the right place at the right time; to name only a few of all the folks who contributed. The little bit Hoover and I did was because these guys trained us right.“ She again gestured to the team, “and, as you like the showbiz references, even then I messed up my blocking and went way off script.”

Again the pack chuckled at her self-deprecating joke.

“Cookie, what can you tell us about the delivery? How did Matt and Chloe handle the pressure of giving birth on the side of a mountain?” An older guy asked as he pushed his voice recorder forward.

Cassie’s eyes sharpened at the question. “Are you married sir? Have any kids?” She’d already spotted the wedding band, but waited until he’d nodded to both. “Could I suggest you check in with your wife if she’d like all the details of her time in the delivery room shared on TV?” The hapless journalist suddenly realized that all of the female reporters around him were now glaring. Then Cassie softened her gaze, “all I will say is that Matt and Chloe now have a beautiful baby daughter, and I was honored to be present, no matter the circumstances.”

Another journalist pushed through the crowd and jumped in next. “How do you think Mrs. Lloyd will feel when she finds out that it was really a boy, pretending to be a girl, who put his hands on her?” He demanded.

The room stilled immediately as the assembled reporters suddenly smelt blood in the water.

Cassie let out a long sigh. “I think what you meant to ask was ‘am I transgendered’. Yes, I am. I’m also a qualified EMT, and I, like everyone else here,“ she waved to the team once again, “volunteered to go out to help save lives at stupid o’clock this morning when you were still in bed. I’m guessing you’re a devout religious man sir, so you’ll be familiar with the story of the Good Samaritan? You might want to think long and hard about all of that story.” She paused to give him a long slow look before continuing. “As far as everyone else here is concerned, it’s a non-issue.” Cassie turned back to the rest of the media. “Any other questions?”

When the last camera crew and photographer had finally left, Cassie found herself swept up by an exuberant Paris.

“Cassie! You were brilliant! That line about Aunt Megan was an absolute gem. And the way you put that bigot down with the ‘Good Samaritan’ line? Have you ever thought about becoming a scriptwriter? Let’s get out of here and celebrate!”

“Hey, easy Paris!” Cassie laughed. “I’ve still got our ‘after action review’ to attend and get my chewing out. Then I seriously need to get an early night. Today started before five o’clock for me, remember?”

“Well, you just made some seriously powerful friends girl. The agency loves you, and I bet Matt and Chloe Lloyd will be calling soon.”

“I guess I’ve probably also made some serious enemies too. Remember my Dad? I just hope this doesn’t blow up and cause trouble for Kath or Aunt Megan.”

~o~O~o~

The requests for interviews and photo opportunities flooded in over the next few days, through both the team’s, and Paris’, offices. The only thing Cassie absolutely refused was to allow any at her apartment.

“It’s our home and family,” she had explained to Kath, “it’s not fair on you, and nothing to do with the Pasadena Search and Rescue team.”

Kath had pouted a little at that, but Aunt Megan completely approved Cassie’s decision. “Fame is fleeting,” she had told Kath, “but what is recorded will be out there forever. Do you really want your father, or some stalker, to have pictures of inside the apartment and details of your daily routine?”

Cassie also found herself returning to the Westridge School for Girls. Mrs. Thomas had refused to take no for an answer and, even more sneakily, had enlisted Kath’s help in getting her big sister to give a talk.

“Well young lady, when I said you’d be an example of what girls can achieve, I didn’t expect to see you on the front page of Entertainment Weekly less than a year later!” Mrs. Thomas exclaimed as she welcomed Cassie back to the school, taking time to give her a hug and make a fuss of Hoover. “Let me guess. You’re fed up of requests for interviews, and someone has already suggested making a biopic, and maybe an updated version of ‘Lassie’?” She just laughed at the dumbfounded expression on Cassie’s face. “I’ve been around this town long enough to know what happens; and more than a few of our students have parents in the business.” Then she ushered Cassie into the school theatre to set up.

Cassie’s presentation lasted forty minutes. To keep things light hearted she started with a cute picture of Hoover as a fluffy bundle of fur, and ended with the pair of them sprawling exhausted after one of Frank’s training exercises. As she expected, there were lots of questions about Hoover, and even more about the rescue of Matt and Chloe Lloyd and their new baby girl. Finally, she handed out some promotional emergency whistles Sam had ordered.

“Guys, these may not look like much, but they really are lifesavers. Six blasts with a minute’s pause is the international distress signal to summon help, and they can be heard at least half a mile away. They are also loud, and can be used to scare off a threatening animal like an aggressive dog, or even an attacker.” More than a few girls looked thoughtful at that. “Not all dangers are in the wilderness, so I always carry mine with my keys.” Cassie concluded.

That evening over dinner she asked Kath what her school friends had really thought.

“Well, they loved Hoover of course; that picture of him as a puppy had even ‘Grumpy Greta’ cooing. And they were really jealous that you’d saved Matt Lloyd and delivered his baby; although no one was impressed with the idea of getting woken up at five o’clock in the morning to do it.” Kath grinned. “Oh, they really liked the whistles. Mrs. Thomas had to remind everyone after lunch that they were ‘emergency’ whistles, not toys.”

“But was there anything about me? You know, being trans?”

Kath had to think for a moment. “Beth mentioned that Suzie Freedman in Grade 10 made a catty remark, but she’s a bi..witch anyway. I didn’t hear anything else. Why? Was it important?”

Cassie didn’t really have an answer to that.

She also got a lot of teasing from Team Leatherneck. More than a few of the posts on their private Facebook group had memes of Cassie and Hoover rescuing everything from Malik’s old work gloves to Snow White saving the seven dwarves (no guesses who posted that, as it was a professional looking hand drawn cartoon).

Those who were at college nearby started to visit more often as well. Malik, who was studying Public Administration at CalState in San Bernardino, now turned up every Sunday for dinner, while it was unusual for a week to go by without Michael or Hector coming up from UCLA to visit, especially if Cassie and Aunt Megan were trying one of Mama Ruiz’s recipes. Cassie would have thought it was just that they missed home cooking, if hadn’t been for the fact that the guys invariably asked if any of them had heard from her father or brothers.

When June arrived it was finally time for Cassie’s surgery.

Cassie had thought she was a compulsive planner, but over the past three months Aunt Megan had her beat hands down. Once they had the referral letters from Dr. Carterton and Dr. Feliz, they’d quickly decided that Dr. Christine McGinn was the best surgeon for her needs. A date had been arranged, and then there was no stopping her aunt. When she got together with Paris, Cassie thought they were writing a complete ‘how to’ manual.

Aunt Megan just nodded. “That’s not a bad idea sweet pea. I bet there’s lots of other girls who could benefit from this.”

“Uh? I guess so. And what’s with the ‘sweet pea’?”

“You call Kath ‘munchkin’ don’t you?”

“Yes, but she’s younger…. Oh.”

Aunt Megan just grinned and carried on. “I’ll drop you at LAX on the Tuesday for the direct flight to Philadelphia. Eric Carr will pick you up and take you to the guest house to check in and then on to the hospital. I’ve been in touch with your surgical team and have a full program of what will be happening during your stay. When it’s time for your return flight, again Eric will drive you to the airport and get you checked in. I’ve booked you a wheelchair at both ends on your way home, and your return ticket is first class. As soon as you’re home you will have to do an extra long dilation session as you will have missed at least one due to the flight. Oh, and Hoover will be banned from your room until you are fully recovered. Sick beds and dog hairs don’t mix.”

Cassie was a bundle of nerves when Aunt Megan’s car pulled up in front of Departures at LAX. She had already said her goodbyes to Kath, Aunt Megan and Hoover back in Pasadena, and couldn’t face any more tears. Both had wanted to come with her, but Cassie insisted that someone had to look after Hoover, and after many arguments, and promises to call every day, had finally got their reluctant agreement. At the drop off point Cassie gave a final hug to her aunt and semi-reluctantly hopped out. She was reaching for her case when a strong arm came out of nowhere and grabbed her.

“You didn’t think we’d let our famous hermana pequeña head off on an adventure without waving her off did you?” Hector told her as he wrapped her in a hug. Behind him Michael was pulling her case out of Aunt Megan’s trunk while Malik just stood there grinning, waiting his turn to hug their little sister.

“Fly safe sweet pea.” Aunt Megan called out. “We’ll be praying every day until you are home.” Then she pulled away, moments before one of the airport cops chased her off.

Cassie’s earlier sadness and worry vanished as she was pulled off her feet and hugged in turn by the guys. Then, with a bodyguard of the world’s best big brothers around her, she was escorted to her check-in.

~o~O~o~

At Philadelphia Cassie was met by an almost unrecognizable Eric. His hair was now an unruly mess flopping over his eyes.

“Hey! I’m an art student!” He laughed at her shocked expression. “If I didn’t look like this no one would take me seriously.” Eric told her as he dragged Cassie’s case through the parking lot.

“And how are you able to just take an afternoon off? Shouldn’t you be in classes or something? Not that I’m not grateful and all.”

“That’s my Cookie! Still the bossy little sister even when she’s a celebrity. Like I said I’m an art student. We’re supposed to be crazy and unpredictable; and I cleared it with the faculty and handed in all my coursework ahead of time, so stop nagging ‘Snow’.”

Cassie grinned as she followed him to his beat up old pick-up. “Okay ‘Bong’.”

Cassie was soon settled in to the recommended guest house, where more than one of the other girls, who were waiting for their own surgery, realized who she was. Cassie tried her best to be polite and friendly with everyone, but she was getting tired of being recognized and constantly asked the same questions. So it was a relief when Cassie found herself staring at the ceiling lights as the anesthetist asked her to count down from ten.

“Ten, nine , eight…”

When Cassie finally woke up all she could manage was a hoarse grunt. A hand waved a cup and straw in front of her nose. She reached for it greedily and started to suck down the tepid water.

“Whoa, steady there Cookie. Slow down or you’ll… oh well, it’ll wash.”

“Mister Carr. What did I tell you…”

Thankfully, Cassie slipped back into oblivion.

The next day she was more with it. She was grinning as Eric entertained the nurses and the other new girl she shared a room with, in typical Eric style.

“So there I was, fingernails still embedded in the dash. And as the dust settled found myself looking straight down the side of a canyon. While Cookie just pulls on the brake and asks if she should have slowed down before trying a bootlegger turn!”

“That’s not true! You had at least a yard clearance on your side.” Cassie protested weakly.

Eric just rolled his eyes to the titters of his audience.

Two days later Cassie was moved to the recovery facility, her ‘packing’ was removed, and it was time for the dreaded dilators.

“Jeez Cassie, stop waving them around! Do you want to give me an inferiority complex?”

“I thought this was the small one?” She teased back.

In truth Eric’s humor and support were exactly what Cassie needed to help her get through the next two weeks of messy, painful and undignified recovery. He turned up every afternoon after his classes, and stayed until he was thrown out by the laughing staff.

Before leaving California Cassie had thought she would have been bored to tears during the recovery phase, but between Eric, Skype sessions with everyone at home, and her dilation and hygiene regimes, she barely had time to cram everything in.

Then, at last, it was time to head home.

Eric had loaded everything into his truck before carefully escorting Cassie out and settling her in.

“Ready Cookie?”

“Yeah.” She grumped as he pulled away from the recovery center. “I never want to go through that again!”

Eric looked shocked. “I thought it was what you wanted?”

“The end result? Sure. It’s the process to get there that wasn’t fun.”

“But you’re all fixed now?”

Cassie smiled at how he’d put it. ‘Trust Eric to choose the exact right phrase. It wasn’t ‘reassignment’, ‘correction’, ‘transition’ or ‘confirmation’. As far as he was concerned it was just a woman’s ‘plumbing problem’ that was fixed now.’

“Yes Eric, I’m all fixed now.”

~o~O~o~

Despite Eric’s help, the wheelchairs and the first class seat, Cassie was exhausted when she finally saw Aunt Megan and Kath waiting for her in the Arrivals hall at LAX. She lit up with a big smile as she carefully hugged them both, but Aunt Megan wasn’t fooled.

“Straight home and bed.” She firmly declared. “We can talk when you have rested. Kath, you’re in charge of the bags.” Then she took control of Cassie’s wheelchair and led the way out into the California sunshine.

As they drove up to Pasadena Aunt Megan laid down the ground rules for Cassie’s convalescence. “For the next month I’ve limited visitors to between six o’clock and nine o’clock every day. The only exercise you will do will be with me at your side. No lifting, and either Kath or I will be holding Hoover’s lead. I’ve also bought Hoover his own bed, so from now on that’s where he sleeps.”

When they got home Cassie was overwhelmed, first by a deliriously happy Hoover, and then by the all the ‘congratulations’ and ‘get well’ cards, balloons and flowers. She abruptly burst into tears, and it wasn’t until Aunt Megan, Kath and even Hoover had all cuddled and reassured her that she started to get herself back together.

“Lots of people care for you and love you Cassandra.” Aunt Megan murmured in her ear.

“I never thought… I thought they just put up with me.” She sniffled. “I thought they were just being kind to a weirdo.”

“Enough of that young lady!” Aunt Megan’s voice was sharp. “You’re a courageous and pretty girl who has stood up for her friends and family, and fought through tough times to get here. And right now you are a seriously tired girl who is overwrought from all the excitement and travel, so it’s straight to bed for you missy and no arguments!”

Cassie tried to argue she was fine as Aunt Megan pulled her up and guided her into her bedroom, but her yawns kept getting in the way.

Within days Cassie learned exactly why Aunt Megan had been such an effective Head Nurse. Everyone, including Hoover, had quickly learned her word was law.

“Cassie, now I know where you learned to be such a bossy little sister.” Malik had teased her one Sunday afternoon, after he’d checked Aunt Megan was safely out of earshot. “You had a great role model!”

However it wasn’t long before the ugly swelling and discharges eased up and Cassie’s stamina started to steadily return, and that was when Aunt Megan decided it was time for ‘the talk’. She waited until Kath was at school before calling Cassie to join her in the living room.

Knowing what was to come, Cassie couldn’t help but try and joke. “I guess it’s time for the ‘birds and bees’ talk huh?”

“Birds, bees, ‘rabbits’, lubrication, protection, orientation, masturbation, oral, anal and everything else.” Aunt Megan calmly replied to Cassie’s utter shock. “I’ve already had these conversations with Kath when she was thirteen. I don’t think she was expecting me to be quite so graphic either; but that’s what you get when you have a nurse in the family.” She shrugged. “I also spent some time talking with Paris about issues specific to girls in your situation. Not just the physical and medical aspects, but also about relationships and feelings.”

Over the next week Aunt Megan quickly covered off all the physical and medical aspects before concentrating on the emotional. For Cassie it seemed as if Dr. Carterton and her aunt were tag teaming; each continually nudging her to explore her feelings and desires.

“Cassandra, it’s unhealthy to try and bottle these thing up.” Dr. Carterton had gently chided her; mirroring an earlier conversation with Aunt Megan. “You’re a young woman now, and your body and hormones have a big influence on what you think and feel. But to be in control you need to first admit what, or who, you want.”

The problem was that Cassie increasingly realized exactly who she wanted, and had always wanted; but knew that if she tried to demonstrate her true feelings she would push him away, or worse, turn his affection into disgust. She tried to look at other guys, and even girls, but every night only one face haunted her dreams.

By the third week home Cassie was beginning to get bored, but Aunt Megan had a plan for that too.

“Morning Cassie.” A familiar voice called out, interrupting her desultory channel surfing.

“Huh? Oh hi Joel. What are you doing here?” She hit the ‘mute’ button and started to get up, only to be waved back down. “Not that it isn’t nice to see you I mean.” She added as she realized what she’d said.

“You mean apart from missing your cookies?” Joel Cox grinned as he dropped onto the couch opposite. “Your Aunt Megan left me a message. Something about it being six weeks until the start of the semester and it being a waste for you to be stuck inside without anything to do.” He pulled a USB stick out of his jeans. “So I thought you might like an early sight of your freshman courses to make sure you hit the ground running.” He glanced over at the TV. “It may not be as interesting as reruns of ‘Project Runway’ but it will probably be a lot more useful.” Joel passed the stick over.

“Uh, thank you. No! I really mean it. I was just a bit shocked to see you. I thought you’d be busy with the team.”

“It’s actually been pretty quiet over the last month. Only three call outs and two of them were sorted by the time we arrived. Oh, thank you ma’am.” He added as Aunt Megan put a cup of coffee and a plate down in front of him. They chatted for a while about the team until he looked at his watch. “I need to get back to the department. We’ve got the final reviews of the course material for the semester. If you get stuck on anything, I’ve included my email, so don’t hesitate to get in touch okay?”

“I won’t and, thanks Joel.”

He leant over for a quick hug. “Don’t worry, you’ll be bouncing up and down the hills again in no time Cookie.”

~o~O~o~

Next up was a call from Paris.

“Cassie, are you and Hoover up for a day out tomorrow?”

“Why? What are you planning Paris? It’s not another photoshoot is it? I’m not exactly looking my best, and Aunt Megan is keeping me on a pretty short leash at the moment.”

“That’s okay, she can come too. It won’t be anything strenuous. A bit of sightseeing, some lunch and there’s a couple of folks who want to meet you is all”

Immediately Cassie was suspicious. “You’re planning something aren’t you?”

Paris laughed. “Okay, you got me. Matt Lloyd wanted to meet you and he’s on set filming over at Sony. So, what do you think?”

“Won’t we be in the way?”

“If you were, he wouldn’t be asking.”

“I better check with Aunt Megan…”

“Already done! There’ll be a limo picking up both of you, plus Hoover, at nine o’clock in the morning. Wear something pretty!” Then she rang off.

At dinner that evening Kath bounced from being excited about the outing to pouting that she couldn’t miss school to join them, and then back again. “So what are you going to wear? Have you got time to go shopping for something tonight? Can you get Cheryl to do your hair?”

Cassie burst out laughing. “We’re visiting and having lunch, not taking part Munchkin.”

“But you’re going to be meeting all those stars and I’ll be stuck in school!”

“Well, one of them at least. Don’t worry, I’ll try and get you a signed picture. I promise.”

The next morning a small black limo pulled up outside on the dot of nine o’clock.

“Come on sweet pea. Have you got everything?” Aunt Megan chivvied Cassie and Hoover out to the car. Then they were whisked away for the hour drive to the studio.

At the gate they were waved through and directed to a parking lot a mile away, to find Paris and an older man waiting.

“Hi Cassie! This is my boss, David Barnes.”

He offered a wide smile along with his hand. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you Miss McCarrick, and Hoover of course, if it wasn’t for you two I’d probably be out of a job now!”

“David is Matt’s primary agent.” Paris explained.

“Um, thank you sir, but there were lots of others out searching too.” Cassie offered.

He laughed. “I know, but the plane crash? Then a dramatic rescue by a pretty girl? Matt is now suddenly seriously in demand, and it’s down to you two.” He held his hand up as Cassie started to protest. “I know! It’s fickle and saving lives is way more important. But that’s Hollywood. Here, put these on.” He handed both Cassie and Aunt Megan visitor passes. “Now let’s go and find Matt and Chloe.”

There were more than a few funny looks when people saw Hoover, but David quickly led them through the sets and corridors inside the enormous building.

“Here we are.” He knocked on a nondescript door.

“Come in.”

“Matt, got some visitors for you.” David ushered them all through the door.

Matt Lloyd was already on his feet with a big grin as he swept down on Cassie. “Hey, Chloe! It’s our guardian angel!” He called out as he wrapped Cassie in a big hug.

He let her go only to allow Chloe to proudly present her daughter. “We’ve named her Isabel Cassandra.” She told a shocked Cassie. “We hope you don’t mind?”

The next hour was a whirlwind as Matt insisted on personally escorting Cassie and Hoover around the set before rushing off to a script review.

Over lunch Chloe let Cassie hold little Izzy.

“She is so adorable.” Cassie couldn’t take her eyes off the sleeping infant as Chloe beamed at the praise.

When Cassie reluctantly handed her back to her mother, Chloe bit her lip. “Matt and I were wondering. Would you mind signing a picture for Izzy? For when she grows up?”

At that Cassie started chuckling. “I thought it was supposed to be the other way round? But no, we’d love to.”

Matt managed to make it back with a studio photographer in tow, and soon Cassie had a small sheaf of autographed pictures, including one for Kath. Matt had written ‘Kath, thank you for sharing your big sister Cassie with Chloe and I when we needed her. Your friend, Matt’. He’d also pulled out a publicity shot of Cassie and Hoover on the side of a mountain, which Cassie eventually got Hoover to put an inky paw print on, before adding ‘Izzy, we were honored to be at your birth, even on top of a mountain! Your Mom and Dad were amazingly brave. Love, Cassie and Hoover.’

After that Matt and Chloe reluctantly said their farewells as David escorted their guests back outside.

“Oh, Matt forgot to mention it. A slice of the opening night revenues from this film is going to be donated to the Pasadena Volunteer Search and Rescue team. We’ll be expecting all of you guys on the red carpet at the Premiere a few days before.” He grinned at the shocked look on Cassie’s face as their limo arrived to whisk them home.

The next morning Aunt Megan dropped Cassie and Hoover off bright and early at the PVS&R headquarters.

“Morning Claire!” Cassie was bubbling over with her news. “Is anyone else coming in today?”

“You’re in a good mood.” The team’s recruiter and head of publicity couldn’t help but smile at the bouncy teenager. “Sam and Patti should be here in an hour. Any reason I should know about?”

“I’ll tell you when everyone arrives. Anything I can do to help in the meantime?”

For the next hour Cassie found herself stuffing envelopes until Sam came to find her.

“So what news do you have for us young lady?”

Cassie finished off the envelope she was filling. “Can Patti join us?”

Sam leant out the door. “Patti! Meeting!” He yelled down the hallway.

Cassie waited until her audience were assembled. “I got an invite yesterday to meet Matt and Chloe Lloyd.” She reached into her backpack. “They gave me this.” Cassie offered the rolled up tube to Sam.

“Hey pretty neat!” He admired the signed family portrait photo of Matt and Chloe Lloyd cuddling Isabel. Underneath was a hand written inscription. ‘To the guys, girls and hounds of Pasadena Volunteer Search and Rescue. You are all the real heroes. From three people you saved. Matt, Chloe and Isabel Lloyd.’ He proudly showed it to Claire and Patti.

Cassie grinned. “It gets better. A slice of the revenue from the opening night of his next film is going to be donated to the team.” She waited for the three of them to calm down from that news before continuing; trying hard to look somber. “Unfortunately, there’s a condition attached…”

Claire sighed. “Typical sponsors, demanding their pound of flesh.” She griped.

By this point Cassie was biting hard on the inside of her lip to try and keep a straight face. “I’m really sorry guys, but his agent insisted that the whole team had to turn up for the full red carpet treatment at the Premiere.”

Immediately Claire and Patti squealed like teenagers and started panicking about what to wear. When Sam tried to suggest they all wore the team uniform he faced an immediate mutiny.

“Samuel Herbert! If you even dare suggest that again you are going to be looking for a new recruiter…”

“And communications technician!” Patti added.

“And K9 team.“ Cassie offered in solidarity.

“Um, I guess I’d better leave you ladies to organize things then shall I?” Sam offered in surrender.

“Good choice, husband of mine.” Patti told his retreating back before grabbing Cassie in a bearhug. “Oh, you darling girl! I’ve always dreamed of going to a Premiere!”

After a month of recuperation Aunt Megan reluctantly allowed Cassie to start walking and driving on her own again, and she grabbed her new freedom with both hands. Soon she was grocery shopping (no carrying anything over five pounds), helping out with paperwork at the Search and Rescue team’s headquarters, visiting Paris and Cheryl, or even driving over to the small apartment Michael and Hector shared just off the UCLA campus, where she would spend an hour or so cooking or trying to keep on top of the mess.

“Cookie, you shouldn’t!” Hector once again tried to complain as Cassie pushed passed him to drop a chiller box into the kitchenette, before looking to make room in the freezer, and checking the expiration dates of the packages she found.

“Hector, you know I like being busy. And I cooked way too much last night, so I decided to freeze some portions for you and Mike so you’ve got something edible in here.” At that Cassie pulled out a half empty box of Spicy Chicken Wings that demanded they be eaten within a week… of last May.

Behind her the door entry buzzed and Hector had to reluctantly leave her to it. She was just putting away the last portion of lasagne when someone came into the living room.

“Hey Hector do you know when Mike will be back?” A female voice called out before spotting Cassie kneeling in front of the freezer. “Oh, hi there.”

Cassie looked up to see a tall pretty red head in daisy dukes and a baggy USMC tee shirt.

“Hi, I’m Sarah. You must be Mike’s little sister Cookie. Hector and Mike are always going on about you.”

Cassie struggled to her feet wiping her hands on her shorts as she did so. “Um hi, yeah I’m Cookie. Do you share with the guys?” She remembered to put her hand out.

“God no! I’ve got a place with a couple of girlfriends three blocks away. Mike and I share a few classes so we share notes and stuff.” Sarah eventually took Cassie’s hand. “Well, it’s nice meeting Mike’s little sister. We’ll have to get together sometime so you can tell me all the embarrassing stories from when he was growing up.”

Sarah looked over her shoulder. “Hector, I’ve dropped my lab notes on Mike’s bed. Tell him I need them back by the weekend okay?” She turned back to Cassie with a little finger wave. “Nice meeting you Cookie. I’m sure Mike and I will see you again soon.” Then she was gone.

Cassie didn’t remember much of the drive home that day. She also broke Aunt Megan’s rule about Hoover when she went to bed. She needed someone to cuddle way too much.

‘He promised to look after me and keep me safe until I was old enough to do it myself. He has.’

‘He promised to be my big brother, nothing more. And he’s been… still is… the best.’

‘I can’t expect anything else from him. It would be selfish to expect anything else.‘

‘He deserves a real girl, not someone like me. I knew this was coming. I told myself not to have silly dreams. I have to let him live his own life.’

Cassie kept on telling herself all that, over and over.

But it always came back to the same question.

’So why does it hurt so much?’

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Comments

Sandbagged

erin's picture

I even knew it was coming and it hit like a brick dropped from a height.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

I could not

agree more

"a real girl"

WillowD's picture

Poor girl. She's got it bad. I hope it works out for her. And we don't even know yet if Sarah is serious competition.

Ahhhh. Mondays are good. Well, at least this Monday morning is. Thank you.

Recuperation

From personal experience, it takes 6 weeks before your feeling of well being arrives in full force.

It is like suddenly flipping a switch from merely putting along to being bursting with energy again.

Then again I was 39 and Cassie’s 20 years or so younger as well as being extremely fit before going in so I suspect no more than 5 weeks for her. However, it IS major surgery.

BTW, Sherman Leis would have been a good choice too.

Trouble Comes In Threes

joannebarbarella's picture

A lovely chapter until Cassie got hit in the head with a baseball bat at the end. When she returns to earth she will probably realise that Mike was very much a long shot anyway. Still, who knows? You know, girl meets boy, girl loses boy,fairy godmother performs magic and girl reunites with boy. Could still happen. This is close to Hollywood after all.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop vis-à-vis her family. All that publicity will surely get through even the thickest and most vicious skulls.

And number three....Author's wicked surprise maybe.

Love Hurts!

jengrl's picture

With all the aftermath of the rescue and having her surgery , Cassie has had a full plate of things going on . Now that she has her surgery out of the way, her feelings for Michael are even more intense . Seeing Sarah there at Michael and Hector’s apartment , was hard, but Cassie doesn’t know whether Michael even sees Sarah the same way as Sarah is implying , but she compares herself with Sarah and she comes up short, but she really has no idea how Michael feels about her beyond a brother and sister relationship, but I have to think that he probably sees Sarah and compares the qualities he loves in Cassie and she doesn’t measure up , so Cassie is doing herself a disservice by assuming that she falls short as a woman in Michael’s eyes . I am hoping all the self pity she is heaping on herself , turns out to be wasted effort? As always, I dearly love reading every new episode of this wonderful story!

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Mike

Enemyoffun's picture

Personally I never saw it happening. As an older brother who has had younger girls crushing on me, we just don't see them in that way. Especially if they're like little sisters to us. Crushes are hard things. They're generally one sided too which is horrible for the person with a crush but it happens. I'm not going to fault Mike if he doesn't reciprocate Cassie's feelings for him.

All I can say...

Mantori's picture

...yet again, is thank you for a fabulous chapter.

Now the reality of real life is truly setting in.

Looking forward as always to a new chapter, can hardly wait for Friday.

Thank you so very much.

"Life in general is a fuck up,
but it is the rare moments of beauty and peace
in between the chaos,
That makes it worth living."
- Tertia Hill

Goddess

this is a good story.

Has Cassie's emotional youth

possibly caused her to jump to an emotional wrong conclusion??? I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
Thank You again for such a Great Story.

Saw it coming?

Yes! I saw the potential for the story line to go in that direction but is it a forgone conclusion? I hope not.
Maybe Sarah wants Mike and he is just trying to be a friend and fellow student. After all why would he share the closness of their relationship with his girlfriend?

The Dreams We Entertain.

I wish Cassie the best, but her disappointment is often what happens to us isn't it? You try to get used to it, and distract yourself with other things. Painfully, I am still Obsessive Compulsive about the Science of where we came from, and God.

Part of being a Military Officer is learning to balance Absolute Leadership with doting on those you are in charge of enough to ensure they will stand up to the next engagement. Nurses learn this. Cassie will eventually...

UK vs US

Actually, I am Canadian, not American, but this is the same in both Canada and the US. The whistle signal for 'help me' that is used/recommended in Canada and the USA is three blasts, not six. I had never heard of using 6 blasts in a minute until reading Chapter 17, and then doing some internet searching. Wikipedia, for example says "Mountain distress signals - The recognised mountain distress signals are based on groups of three, or six in the UK and the European Alps." ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distress_signal )

I have no idea what signal is used in other parts of the world, but the wording in the Wikipedia article implies that 3 is the usual number, and 6 is used only in the UK and in the alps.

Of course, if you have a whistle, and you need help, just keep blowing on it until someone comes.

Other than that, it's another great chapter, and I look forward to the next.

Trans fallout

So far her trans public outing has been pretty benign. Waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Wonderful

Another wonderful chapter. I hope this story keeps going for a long time. Was kind of odd to see a Doctors name I have been considering for surgery. Maybe it is a sign.

Another fantastic chapter.

So seems like Cassie had her first crush. Mike has done everything he promised to do for Cassie and more. I had thought that she had a crush on him since she was little. And that Mike only thought of Cassie as his little sister, nothing more. He still does and will still protect her. As will the rest of the team, no matter what.

I wonder with all this media attention Cassie has received. Will her other relatives figure it out. Only girl that they knew of was Kathleen, So who is this, Miss Cassandra McCarrick Eventually they may put two and two together. It may take a while they are jocks, after all.

Then there is Joel. It seems like he may have more than a casual interest is Cassie.

Kymmie

Something About Trans Folk...

If I'd had any idea that this would happen to me before I seriously started this journey, I would have demurred. I get extremely lonely, and I think that is so for most all Trans folk that are "out". OR perhaps that is not so and it is just me??? PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder are pretty common amongst us.

Cassie seems to have escaped most of that, and I am happy for her. Perhaps her disappointment with not having a closer relationship with Michael was simply a teen crush? I do hope that in the future she is blessed with someone very close.

This was a hard episode for me to read. It is very well written.

Gwen

Arghhhh

Alice-s's picture

Mike has a girlfriend? That is soon not happening. If that wasn't bad enough she now has her face plastered everywhere. Only a matter of time before dad shows up. Give a girl a break.

Poor Cass

She has a lot to learn about love.

Assumptions can be painful

Cassie is assuming Mike and Sarah are romantically involved. Nothing was explicitly said to clarify that point, but I have to say that was my first thought also. After reading that part again I can see other possibilities. The emotional reflex always seems to be the quickest and strongest driving our perspective and assumptions. No matter how strong we are in dealing with others, emotional pain always seems to find the kink in our armor. Now we know Cassie’s fairytale life is becoming real, but we can still hope for the happy ending.

Thank you for this very well written story that pokes at those emotional holes in our armor proving that we are not as invulnerable as we may have thought. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Jumping the gun a bit, eh?

Jamie Lee's picture

Cassie has what she's wanted in one sense, but not in another sense.

As Cassie found out, noteirity is not all it's cracked up to be. A lot of demands put on the person that get old quick.

Cassie sees Sarah, finds out she and Mike have classes together, and immediately believes they are dating. How does attending the same classes equate to dating? Cassie is jumping the gun, thinking Sarah and Mike are a couple. She's way off base thinking no one wants her as she is now. If all someone can see is half of Cassie then they have eye trouble. The Cassie on the inside is what makes the outside shine.

Others have feelings too.