Curtain Fall Chapter 28

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
You still have all of me, me, me

— “My Immortal” Evanescence

Carol, Dave, Anarra and the others watched the newscast as Adrasteia moved through the air into the darkness towards the madness beyond. The heroine left behind then focused on pushing back the crowds and tried to get them to disperse.

As the broadcast returned to the anchor spokesman Carol blindly turned away; her eyes streaming with tears and her face holding the look as if all that mattered to her had been torn from her forever. She numbly walked onto the balcony as the women talked feverishly about what they’d just seen.

She stood and stared unseeing out into the darkness. A great hollowness was growing in her. That comforting contact that her love had maintained was withdrawing. She could tell Jill was doing it on purpose to shield her as the power of the weapon Kadrapraba had unleashed pressed more on her, but it still ripped at her heart.

Then a gentle touch on her shoulder. David’s hand settled and she heard him speak, “I don’t think she could pass this by Carol. She has to try to stop it.” His tone was soft with the understanding that Carol was suffering. “How long have you been with her?”

In a small voice edged with despair she responded, “Since the beginning.” A small sob escaped her and she continued, “We were at a pub you know? Co-workers just sharing a glass as we watched the news. Then the Fall came. And she was..”

Carol broke then and started sobbing. David gently pulled and drew her into his arms as she poured out feelings of loss. He didn’t say anything; he was wise enough to realize that any trite verbalism would be only empty and insulting.

Together they stood under the rising moon, and Carol, normally a strong primal presence, had been reduced to wordless sorrow. David just held her. He tried to think of anything to give hope but based on the displays the women inside had given upon hearing about the weapon, he feared that efforts on Adrasteia’s part would be doomed. She had gone by herself into the psychic equivalent of an atomic explosion. The weapon, combined with the feedback of the human victims would doubtlessly overwhelm and destroy her as well. So he just stood and held Carol.

In his peripheral vision, he saw Anarra join them at the entrance of the balcony. She stood solemnly and watched them. The Mother could clearly feel the waves of despair from Carol and the sympathy from David and simply nodded sadly and retreated back into the room, closing the balcony doors.

An indeterminate time later Carol’s legs gave out and she gave a hoarse cry. Alarmed, David clutched her tightly and looked at her, “Carol! What?”

In a dead and lost tone, “She’s gone. Her presence in me is gone...”

Throat tightening from imagining how he would feel if his wife died he responded, “I’m so sorry Carol!”

The news they had been watching shortly offered reports that Washington’s Mistress of the Mind, Soferino, was saying that what ever had been happening over the river had suddenly stopped. Where once a psychic disturbance of unimaginable proportions had raged was now nothing. The women in the room all looked at each other in shock and hope. Hope that was salted with understanding grief as they felt in the deadened aura of Carol as she was helped back in from the balcony. It seemed that Adrasteia succeeded, but based on the empty loss coming from Carol, at the cost of her own life.

Aditi looked at Anarra and David and finally asked, “What happens now?”

———————

Weeks would pass before the capital would settle down to anything that even approached normalcy. It seemed that any caught in the area of effect of the Madness for a significant time had been driven irrevocably and murderously insane. A strict curfew was set until they were all captured or put down to reduce the chance that those affected and still loose might surface and kill more innocents.

Investigations revealed that relatively few “survivors” were found, perhaps numbering 1700. Thankfully, since they were incapable of stealth they were quickly found and dealt with.

One of the greater mysteries was the area of Arlington that looked as if “God’s ice cream scoop” had excavated a hemispherical depression almost a third of a mile in diameter. There was no radiation, no evidence of an explosion. The land within the region, including a significant portion of the Pentagon, was simply gone.

“The Madness”, as it came to be called, provided ample justification for senators to force the Fallen Relocation and Protection Act out of committee and onto the Senate floor. There it passed and it found its way to the Oval Office. Due to overwhelming public outcry and support the President grudgingly signed it into law even as he worried for the continued health of the nation’s soul. A new time of internments had begun.

It was also around this time that Adam Bosarge revealed the existence of the Tarneerans in South America. Now a shocked and frightened public also had to deal with a technically advanced and powerful alien race in addition to their paranoia about those who were Fallen. Empathic aliens! For a period, America and the world stood at the edge of an abyss.

It was then revealed that David Ferber, a diplomatic envoy had on behalf of the country and the world had negotiated peaceful agreements with the aliens. While possessing powers like many Fallen, they were shown to be a very reclusive people who were very hesitant to reach out. Only select individuals who were trained to resist the “emotional storms” that humans produced (an idea that David came up with to make them appear weaker and less threatening) would leave their nation. As they adapted over time, intermingling would be possible but for now only select individuals like diplomats would be allowed to travel.

David and the High Mothers wrestled with what had happened, both in Brazil and in Washington. It was decided that the source of The Madness could never be revealed. In addition, collective guilt drove the High Mothers to pledge never to press humans as Kadrapraba’s people had ever again. Only Tarneerans who’d allowed themselves to be “psychically shaped” in such a way as to never use their empathy in an offensive manner outside the nation would be allowed out to interact in the world.

“It will take time Anarra,” David told her, “but as your people begin to work with humans you need to teach them that your powers are only for the benefit of others. It is the only way to not only avoid a catastrophic war that neither you nor we humans will likely survive intact, but you might also show humanity that not all powered are evil.” He sighed deeply and continued, “Perhaps you can encourage Americans to turn away from the deadly fear and bigotry we’ve proven so vulnerable to in the past.”

Through out these turbulent times Carol drifted without really seeing or caring. In spite of the earnest efforts of Anarra and others to show her she was cared for, she hardly responded. Even their efforts to gently encourage healing psychically had little effect. The center of her spirit had been hollowed out, not unlike the crater in Arlington.

She began to spend more and more time wandering alone like a ghost in the Brazilian jungles. Then as she grew into her ability to walk vegetation, farther and farther afield. Days would pass before she was seen, then weeks.

Carol wandered the wilds. She hunted and ate when hungry. She spent long times merging with old growth trees so she could feel the quiet strength and patience of those mighty trees. But it all seemed so empty, so meaningless. Then early one evening she was in some southern european forest of pine and fir and gliding through it silently as an early winter snowfall had begun. The snow silently began to settle and she idly watched as a deer picked its way. The deer suddenly started, however, and bounded off into the darkness when spooked by a noise. She watched it bound past her, unaware of her presence, and looked in the direction of the noise.

As Carol looked, she heard more sounds that quickly resolved into a body stepping on snow covered undergrowth along with the sounds of a woman’s humming, occasionally interspersed with a bit of swearing as she maneuvered in the dark forest.

For the first time in a very long time Carol found her curiosity peaked. What kind of idiot could be thrashing though a forest a day’s march from anything more substantial than a hamlet, in the dark, during the beginnings of a snowstorm? She moved as quietly as the snow itself and approached what turned out to be a woman in black pants and a black heavy winter cloak. The hood of the woman’s cloak obscured her features but Carol could see that the hiker possessed a tall and powerfully built but still feminine physique.

Carol stepped out from cover and the woman jumped, looking frightened as she exclaimed in Greek, “Γαμώτο! Είσαι ντρίτζαντ;” (Holy crap! Are you a dryad?)”.

Carol tilted her head and responded, “English.”

The figure stumbled a bit and repeated herself in heavily accented English this time, “You’re an English Dryad?!? Now I’ve heard everything!”

Carol found herself chuckling much to her own surprise, “No I’m American. I speak English.

The woman, seeming completely gobsmacked, shook her head. Then another question, “Are you visiting your relatives or something?” Then she gestured at Carol’s form, “Aren’t you cold?”

Carol looked down at herself and realized that she was standing in front of the hiker completely naked. She was reminded how the hiker had concluded she was a spirit: her naked green skin faintly shown from what little light reflected off the snow.

“No and no. A question for you now. what are you doing marching in the dark? The closest hamlet is 20 kilometers that way.” she asked as she pointed of to her right.

The woman made a small exclamation of dismay and pulled out a map while fumbling with a light that she held in her mouth. Looking at the topographic map she mumbled around the light, “Buh ih haaysh aa uh ahbin ish owwy ah kilomehmersh at ay!” nodding behind Carol.

Carol grimaced and replied, “There was a cabin that way but a fire burned it down or something. You’re going to have to rough it tonight.”

The woman snatched the light from her mouth, “Oh crap!”

Carol looked at the woman with pity and offered to help her make a camp. Together they cleared some space and as the woman erected her tent, Carol gathered wood of all sizes for a camp fire. After about 45 minutes The woman, calling herself Nana was huddled next to the fire toasting her chilled hands. Still cold she hadn’t pulled her hood back but by this time locks of luxurious raven hair had spilled out and could be seen framing a face still mostly obscured. When she leaned a certain way, however, Carol caught glimpses of a striking but mature face punctuated by eyes so dark they almost absorbed light.

Marveling at how calmly Nana was taking being in the presence of a “Greek spirit”, as she insisted on calling Carol a dryad, Carol again inquired how she found herself so deep in the forest.

Nana explained that she was on a bit of a spirit quest to find the answer to a family tragedy. Her daughter had been violated horribly and had done things in the heat of the trauma that were threatening to break her. Nana had tried to make her see that she’d only done what was needed (apparently Nana had a rather harsh sense of justice) but her daughter had cut herself off from all who loved her, feeling her actions were more than any would be able to tolerate.

Carol choked up a bit as she remembered how her beloved had been terrified that with each new manifestation of her power, the power would overwhelm Carol and scare her away. She remembered how killing the rock monster had filled her with guilt and had almost convinced her that she was too ugly to love. Thick with emotion, Carol replied, “That kind of fear is terrible, I know. My beloved dealt with the same fears. You just have to show her, even if she rages at you, that your love is un-, unconditional.” She stopped when her own sense of loss grew to the point that it choked off further words.

Nana’s oh so black eyes softened as she watched her guiding “spirit” be overcome. “You do know, don’t you?” She then spun to her side satchel and rooted around in it. “This was going to be my offering to the gods for their wisdom. I think it should be yours now...”. From the satchel she pulled a pendant made from a very small red stone. It is a small gift I made. I uh, make things you see.”

With that she moved over and placed it around Carol’s neck. The stone nestled in cleft between Carol’s breasts.

Startled, Carol said she couldn’t accept the gift and made to remove the pendent but Nana quickly shushed her saying with a sad smile, “You need the comfort of contact as much as my daughter does , I think.” Carol stopped and let her hands fall.

The two women sat in quiet contemplation for quite a while when Nana finally roused herself saying, “I think you’ll have to excuse me. I seems I have to deal with nature!” With Carol’s nod she moved out of the light of the fire and was quickly lost in the darkness. 15 minutes past and Nana hadn’t returned, so Carol called out to the forest, “Nana! Is everything OK?” There was no response. The cold and snow seemed to even muffle most sounds of nature.

Becoming concerned, Carol got up and started moving the direction she’d seen Nana heading, “Nana! Where are you!?” Still no response. With increasing alarm Carol kept moving forward. ‘Where did she go!?!?’ She fretted to herself. She moved a bit more until she broke into a moderate clearing in the forest which surrounded a body of water. It wasn’t large enough to be called a lake, more of a large pond. The surrounding trees almost leaned into it as if they were trying to close it away from the sky. It’s surface was glassy smooth. In a few shallows she could see the surface starting fo freeze, but the area closest to her was still liquid. The overcast and dark night made the pond an inky expanse that reminded her a little of the pool in her love’s Olympus.

She looked around the area of pond, thinking it a likely place for a woman to fulfill her bodily needs but saw no evidence of Nana. Giving up she began to turn back towards the camp, hoping to find the woman returned when she suddenly heard something that stopped her in her tracks. The sound of a woman in despair. A sound coming from the water!

Carol turned slowly and looked once more into the inky mirror-like surface and heard it again. A whimper from an alto voiced woman at the edge of giving up. Carol, her voice trembling with the spark of an emotion she’d never expected to feel again, “Jill?”

The despair in the disembodied voice only increased. “No! You are just a figment! I’m not worthy anymore; Carol couldn’t bear the monster I’ve become...”

Realizing that she really was hearing Jill, Carol called forcefully, tears of joy flowing freely down her face, “Jill! You aren’t gone! I’m here; I love you!!”

The distant voice tried to deny what it seemed to hear, “No! You’re just my own guilt trying to torment me more. You can’t be real...”

Seeing that Jill was still in denial, Carol grew desperately frustrated, “Fuck a duck Jill, Listen to me! Don’t be a horse poop!”

The voice was silent for a while and Carol became terrified that Jill had given into her despair when, “C- Carol? Is that you?”

Heart singing she called out joyously, “Yes baby! It’s me! I’m looking into this pool but can’t see you. Where are you?”

“I’m Outside. How are you talking with me?!?”

Carol laughed but was at a loss until she noticed that the stone of the pendent around her neck glowed faintly. Her eyes grew wide and she reached to touch it gently. What was it that Nana had said? "You need the comfort of contact as much as my daughter does , I think."

‘Holy crap!’, Carol thought to herself, ‘Jill has a mother!?!?’ To Jill she said, “I’m not entirely certain honey. All I know for sure is that we are speaking. Oh.. I thought I’d never feel or hear you again! I thought you were dead. Why have you been gone so long?” With a voice filled with tremulous hope, “Can you come back to me?”

A sob. “Oh my love, I can’t return. I can’t bear to see your rejection when you understand the monster I’ve become...”

Feeling Jill start to pull back, Carol cried out desperately, “No god damn it! You don’t have the right to decided what I’ll reject or not! I know you feel guilt at having to stop the woman who was powering the weapon. I know you likely had to kill her. But it was necessary! I LOVE YOU!”

Jill moaned, “Oh Carol you don’t understand. I didn’t just kill her. I’m so much worse than that!”

“NO! I refuse to see you as a monster! Your very guilt tells me you aren’t a monster! What could be so bad? Show me!!”
Silence. Then a voice filled with resignation and hopelessness Jill replied, “Very well. Look and see with my eyes what happened that night...”. Carol looked desperately into the calm water and images began to appear. Not only images but also the echos of emotion of that time.

Carol watched as Jill entered Arlington. She felt shadows of the ugliness that tried to slip past Jill’s protections. Then she watched what happened with Shifter and the Iron Bullet. She felt how the injury inflicted by Shifter breached Jill’s defenses and felt the evil of the weapon begin to flow into Jill’s mind and start to corrupt it. She felt the loosing battle to retain herself and how she gloried in the slaughter of the Iron Bullet.

Finally she felt Jill’s desperate decision to stop the weapon anyway she could. Carol felt her lover’s using the last of her control and strength to rip a whole in reality that pulled the Tarneeran weapon out of reality along with hundreds of human victims. She Also saw Jill taking savage pleasure as she watched all the minds and spirits she’d pulled Outside scream in terror as they were pulled apart and destroyed. It wasn’t until some time passed that Jill became truly cognizant of what she’d done.

The revelation that shocked Carol though was that even now elements of that savage pleasure remained. While not controlling, she could feel Jill’s desire to wallow in violence and destruction.

A long time ago she remembered that Jill had confided that she’d had to wage a constant battle against the emotions she felt. Battle to keep them from becoming her own; and she understood that there were times that the foreign emotions had won. That was what Jill feared now.

“My heart?” I’ve seen what you’ve been through. It’s more than anyone should have to deal with. No one could experience what you’ve dealt with and be unchanged. The feelings you were forced to deal with were horrible. It’s no wonder that most everyone was utterly twisted into animals. But you. You can understand the horror! That shows that you haven’t lost yourself to it. I know you. I will always trust you. I will always love you! You are and will always be part of my soul.”

Carol took a deep breath and continued with all the love and faith she had, “Now you need to prove it to yourself. Come and face me. Do that and you’ll see that you can avoid giving into those desires. Come!”

There was a long silence that stretched Carol’s emotions tighter and tighter till she felt if she had to wait any longer her heart and mind would forever rend apart. Then there was a disturbance in the pool she stood next to. Like Venus rising from the Ocean waters Carol watched Jill slowly rise until she floated inches above the water. Then with painful slowness she drifted to the shore until she was within arm’s reach.

Carol slowly reached out and gently pulled her rigid and trembling partner into a loving hug.

As Carol held Jill she whispered, “I’ve told you before love; you’re stuck with me!” At which Jill gave out a strangled laugh of joy and relief and wrapped her arms around her love.

Carol didn’t even mind when she realized she was floating off the ground...