Summer With Em - Chapter 32

By Julie D Cole,

As soon as I got an oportunity I sent a message to Frankie asking her if she’d mind coming earlier than planned so she could meet mum. I felt that I ought to ensure that mum was comfortable with me staying with Frankie. I’d never stayed with anybody before apart from this visit to Em’s who was family.

I also wanted to put us on an equal footing since her mum had met me. She was so nice and extremely kind to me and I got the impression that she really trusted Frankie.

I hoped Frankie would like my mum who has always been ultra-protective of me ever since my dad left. They never divorced and rarely contacted each other so we never had much contact especially whilst I was growing up. He came from a strong Catholic family who didn’t believe in divorce. I think he beat my mother sometimes but she never admits it.

When we arrived at the apartment I cleared my bags so that she could unpack but I now had too many clothes so most were still in the wardrobe and drawers. I couldn’t really decide what to take with me and half my suitcase was filled with my work outfits. I decided I could always call back but it did give mum the chance to examine my purchases most of which had been gifts from Em and Frankie. I was embarrassed to open my underwear drawer in front of mum but she just picked some up to admire them.

‘Kim would you like to change to let me see how nice you look in these?’

She picked some items out for me that she felt would suit me and I realised she wanted to see me in a dress rather than in leggings.

I didn’t need to hear her comments because her face said it all. She asked me to keep it on for dinner and she would dress up too. I stayed with her in the room whilst she changed and told her she looked nice. It was a long time since I’d seen mum in a nice dress and her face was a picture. She looked 10 years younger and it was easy to see she and Em were sisters.

Mum wanted to help me to style my hair and apply make-up and she was surprised to see my capability.

‘You should find someone to teach you and I’m sure there will be a good salon around here with a beautician.’

‘Do you mind me wearing make-up mum? I was worried you’d be mad with me.’

‘No not at all. I was pre-warned by Em. She’s done a great job. Is that your look for work?’

‘More or less. I just thought I’d be a bit more adventurous since we are dining together.’

‘Doesn’t Frankie mind? Does she know about you?’

‘Yes she knows.’ She is fine. She tends to be open about this sort of thing.’

‘I’m surprised but not surprised in this day and age. I guess I’ll see her reaction when she arrives.’

We entered the lounge to find that Bec’s had arrived and she was having a glass of wine with Em and they were preparing the table. They immediately decided to change if it was to be a welcome party and they disappeared for a while.

Mum and I sat down on the sofa and made ourselves comfortable. I was conscious that she was observing the way I took care to keep my legs together and tuck my dress under me and then crossed my legs. By now this technique was almost natural even though I’d spent most of my time in shorts or leggings since I arrived in Manchester.

She asked me what had caused me to make an appointment with the doctor and if I was having any health issues. I tried to re-assure her that I’d not been ill or feeling unwell but my biggest concern was that I had breasts which seemed to have had a growth spurt in recent weeks so much so that I needed to wear a bra. I had to stop myself from telling her that Frankie had also mentioned that I ought to get myself checked out down below.

She seemed hesitant to say anything in response but eventually burst into tears saying sorry and that it was all her fault. I put my arms around her to comfort her and tried to determine why she felt that way.

‘It’s all my fault I should have kept up with your appointments and paid more attention. I was in a mess and dad and I were constantly arguing because we were under pressure with the restaurant that we owned because I was spending so much time looking after your grandmother who was ill. We had to close it and dad left and went back to Italy. I couldn’t cope and I had to arrange for mum to go into care and then find a job to pay the bills.’

‘Mum I was OK I just kept myself to myself. I was upset when dad left and I didn’t understand but I never felt neglected.’

‘But you became withdrawn and I was too tired all the time to give you the care you deserved. It got a bit easier when Em stepped in to help with mum but by that time you were locking yourself away and I couldn’t get two words out of you.’

‘I know. It was because I was being bullied and so I used to keep to myself as much as possible. I did my school work and then played computer games to stop thinking about it.’

‘But I should have acted when I saw you weren’t developing like other boys. You were smaller and your voice never really deepened, even now and we should discuss this with the doctor.’

I was rescued by Em and Bec’s coming back into the room. I’d never seen Bec’s in a dress and she looked amazing. She was taller than the three of us with very shapely legs that looked fantastic in heels. At work she tended to wear flats and trousers or leggings. My mouth must have dropped almost to the floor. Em did a twirl as they came in but then saw that mum had been crying so she stopped and asked what was wrong. Mum just said she was so glad she’d visited and seen the change in me away from London and people I knew. She was so amazed by the change in me that she couldn’t hold back the tears and also she was happy to see her sister finally happy with a girlfriend. Then they both hugged and pulled me into the huddle. Bec’s was quick to take a few shots.

We had a glass of wine to celebrate and before we had chance to take a sip Frankie was knocking on the door. She’d come straight from work so she felt a little awkward that we’d decided to dress up. However she looked smart in a well fitted trouser suit and open necked shirt that weren’t cheap. She whispered in my ear to tell me I looked very tasty.

We had a wonderful evening chatting that passed too quickly. The food was delicious but I supposed we were all ready to relax and eat. Mum was very chatty and she didn’t seem awkward about my friendship with Frankie.

It was soon time for Frankie and I to leave and soon We decided to break about 10pm and I quickly changed into a casual outfit with leggings and sneakers leaving the dress behind. I had felt completely feminine in a dress and I noticed all four of them sneaking glances towards the hint of breasts every time I reached over the table with my chopsticks to take food to my dish. On the one hand it was an experience I hoped to repeat but then at the same time I was about to discuss how to reduce them in size or remove them altogether the next day.

So I was lost in my thoughts on the journey to Frankies place and any nervousness I might have expected seemed insignificant. I needed some company and the chance to see what Frankie really thought about me dressing and behaving like this. Could she love me as a boy without breasts? Would I feel the same way about her when I returned to London and back to college?

As we pulled into her car park she smiled and took hold of my hand.

‘Don’t worry Kimmie I’m not going to bite. You are very welcome to stay as long as you like so treat my home as yours whilst you are here. I don’t want to cause any problem with Em so there is no pressure. It will be nice for me to have somebody around for a change. Living alone is ok to a certain degree but it also sucks sometimes.

As we entered her apartment I thanked her for her kindness and we kissed. It was an amazing place with a beautiful view that I couldn’t wait to see in the daylight. Then she pressed something into my hand and kissed my neck lightly.

‘There you are my love, just so you know I completely trust you.’

It was a key to her apartment.

‘I’ll give you the building security code and I’ve already informed the management you will be staying with me. You can come and go as you please for as long as you wish to stay.’

I was flattered but slightly nervous. I’d never have believed I could be so lucky to find friends like this just a few short weeks ago and since my arrival in Manchester I felt my view of life was radically changing. I felt happier than I could ever remember in my relatively short life and Frankie seemed to be smitten. But she liked me as a young woman and had not seen the real me.

Frankie didn’t want to hang around too much so we had a hot milky drink and prepared ourselves for bed since we both had early starts the next day for work. Whilst I had my own room Frankie asked if I’d like to snuggle up together in her larger and very comfortable bed where we could have a little chat before going to sleep. My head felt I should decline but my body welcomed the idea and my tummy was turning over at a fast rate in excitement.

We chatted for a while and clung to each other exchanging kisses before I put my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. So much was happening and I’d no idea how I was going to be received back at work or what I was going to say during the doctors appointment after work.

I had a beautiful sleep in a wonderful soft bed and awoke with Frankies arms wrapped around me when my alarm sounded on my i-phone. She tried to hold onto me to keep me from getting out of bed but I avoided the temptation. I threw my pillow at her as I disappeared into the bathroom to relieve myself. She snuggled it closely to show what I was missing.

We took a shower together and Frankie giggled when I put on a shower cap. It was OK for her since her hair was shorter and easy to dry but by now mine reached to my shoulders. I didn’t have time to wash and dry it and decided I could do that later at the health club if necessary.

We had some toast and coffee for breakfast and Frankie insisted to drive me to work that I appreciated. She wished me luck as I waved goodbye and to let her know how mum and I went on at the doctors.

I was on early shift so only girls on the desk with me to answer calls and check memberships. Most calls were about yoga classes checking availability and booking for the following day. Nicole was already a good friend and I asked her if she knew who might have caused problems for me with the report on the BBC webpage. The rumours were that it was someone in HR at head office who resented Bec’s success and tried to cause trouble for her because she’d employed me and allowed me to use female facilities. Bec’s hadn’t said anything the previous evening in front of the others but I hoped to get the opportunity for a private chat later.

I called mum during my break and let her know I was OK and she said she would come to the centre later to collect me and we’d take a taxi or a bus together. She was keen to look around and meet my friends and Bec’s had offered her a short term membership that gave her access to the Spa.

I managed to have a private chat with Bec’s once she’d finished her admin work and she re-assured me that she’d dealt with the leakage and confirmed that the culprit did work in HR. The matter was being dealt with and Bec’s was satisfied that her explanation about my hire was accepted and her decision was within company policy. I was registered as transgender and Bec’s followed the guidelines. No staff had complained and no issues had occurred.
I wasn’t sure that I was comfortable as being registered as transgender but since I was happy in my job and with colleagues I didn’t say anything. Maybe I was after all and I might find out later.

It was a quiet day really since lots of members were on summer vacation and apart from a few complements for my role in recovering Frankies grandfather nothing much was said.

When mum arrived I was allowed to show her around and she had time to kill so she booked a pedicure for later in the afternoon and a back and shoulder massage for the following day. She seemed to be enjoying herself so I took a shower before I changed to go to my appointment but left my hair tied in a pony-tail rather than washing it.

We arrived at the surgery about 15 minutes early so mum used the time to provide some details of our family doctor and discreetly explain that I was male despite my appearance. She was assured that that wasn’t unusual and it wasn’t a problem.

I sat nervously waiting for my name to appear on the screen and then we were called to see Dr Sarah Carter-Grimes where she was waiting. She was very kind and had no problem with mum attending. I explained that I was concerned about my breast growth that had started when I was about 12 or 13 years old and hadn’t stopped. She asked why I was dressing in female clothes and noticed that I was wearing a bra. I had no answer other than it was something that started when I arrived at Em’s and the bra was comfortable.

She wanted to examine me and I went into an annex room to strip and change into a gown whilst she called the reception to delay her next appointment.

Mum stayed outside the annex room whilst she checked by breasts and then my stomach and then my package. She commented on my smooth skin and asked if everything was in working order and if I ever had an erection. She asked me to place my feet in stirrups at the end of the couch and touched me all around my private area. Then she pressed my stomach again and asked if it hurt. It didn’t.
Then I was asked to dress and come back out when I was ready. She was looking on her computer when I sat back in my seat and she turned to me and told me she wanted to make an appointment at hospital to have a more thorough examination.

She asked mum about my medical history and mum explained that I was born 8 weeks premature and needed to stay in hospital for several weeks. Apparently my testes hadn’t dropped and there was no evidence of them.

Mum was concerned in case this would lead to problems and explained that they had been found and pushed into position when I was about 1 month old but they’d disappeared again later. My medical records would explain everything so the doctor said she would call our surgery later and arrange access.

We couldn’t do much more so mum did ask what options were available. It seemed I could have a course of hormone treatment because my puberty had been delayed. It wouldn’t reduce the size of my breasts but hormone treatment should deepen my voice and help with growth of body hair and beard growth to make me more comfortable around other males but I wouldn’t grow any taller.

She feared my testes were no longer existing that would be checked by scans and an expert and if so then there was an option of having artificial inserts to avoid the risk of cancer later in life.

I was dumbstruck and burst into tears.