Authors note: This is a novel in 25 chapters. Some, but not all chapters, contain graphic sexual content which I hope readers feel is pertinent to the story and not gratuitous in nature. I appreciate that this might not appeal to all readers. Please take notice of the warning at the head of each chapter which contains sexual content. As the whole story is already written, I will follow other authors and publish a new chapter every three or four days.

Jamie lay in the hospital bed watching some flecks of dust in the beam of sunlight streaming through the window. At least she had an alternative to daytime television on the set suspended from the ceiling at the foot of the bed, since she'd had the foresight to bring along her tablet and could use the hospital's wifi to access the internet.

Recently while surfing the 'net, quite by accident, she had come across a website called 'A Girl's Lingerie Drawer' . She had clicked on it expecting to find a catalogue of pretty underthings, but instead, it was full of stories about transwomen and crossdressers. There was so much choice that Jamie picked stories at random, read a few paragraphs, and depending on whether she liked it or not, went on reading or chose something else. Sometimes she even gave them the 'click of approval', and in rare instances a comment which appeared at the end of the story.

She double-clicked a title at random, and saw that there was a warning of 'explicit content' at the start. Jamie was no prude and certainly not a virgin. She'd had sex with more men than she could remember, and often for money, but that was in the past. Now, she found himself preferring romantic stories with a happy ending. Nevertheless, she started to read the story, and the more she read the more interesting she found it. The hero/heroine of the story could almost have been her.

After about half an hour of reading, she found her eyes drooping, and before she fell asleep, she was starting to think that maybe she could write her own story, a true autobiography, and send it into the site, but she wondered if they would print it. Just as in everyone's life there were good times, and times which, to be honest, she was rather ashamed of, but what would be the point of writing her own story if she left parts of it out? Where should she begin? She half-remembered a quote – was it from 'Alice in Wonderland' about 'begin at the beginning and go on to the end and then stop.'? Her eyes closed, and she fell asleep.

Jamie was born to John and Marie Brown, three years after her older sister, Edna. They lived in a working-class suburb of North London called Enfield. In the early years of her life she enjoyed playing with Edna and especially her dolls and dolls' house. Her father discouraged this and tried to get his young son interested in toys more appropriate to a boy, tanks and trucks, but when his father was absent, Jamie still returned to the dolls' house. That was where he felt most comfortable. His mother noticed of course but left him alone.

When he was five, his father went to work one day and never returned. At the same time, a pretty barmaid from the local pub disappeared too, and the gossip was that they had run away together. Whatever had happened, John was never heard of again. His mother, Marie, found a job in a local factory. It was hard work, and barely brought in enough money to keep the household going, but somehow she managed. Fortunately, Jamie was now at school, so she arranged for a neighbour to look after him and Edna until she came home from work.

It was in the early nineteen sixties that Jamie, on the point of leaving school in London, realised two things; he wanted to go on the stage, and also that he was not like the other boys at school. He was hopeless at sport, in fact, more than once he was told that he played 'like a girl', the ultimate insult. Since it was an all-boys school, he was always chosen to play girls' parts in the annual school play and he did it very well, far better than the other boys who only pretended to be girls under duress from the master who directed the plays, usually as a form of punishment for misbehaviour in class. He began to wonder if he really should have been born a girl. He felt sure that he must be unique in having these thoughts, and there was no-one with whom he could share them since this was before the days of the internet

Once or twice when the opportunity arose, he tried on his older sister Edna's clothes. Being the sixties, this was a time when young women wore dresses and skirts almost as a matter of course. They wore slips, petticoats, suspender belts and stockings under their dresses, and also high heels – those were very different times.. Nowadays, young men don't have the excitement of exploring under a girl's dress (if she lets him!), and finding warm soft nubile flesh encased in satin, lace, and nylon. When Jamie dressed in these feminine clothes he felt even surer that he should have been born a girl because it just felt so 'right'. He wished so much there was someone he could talk to about his feelings, but he didn't dare.

While Jamie was intelligent, there was no hope of any further education once he left school. His mother needed helping out financially, so he took the first position he was offered, delivering groceries, but it was poorly-paid back-breaking work and he hated it. Edna contributed to the family income but unfortunately only for a limited time. She had started going out with a young man and the inevitable happened. Unfortunately, the young man in question was not keen on the idea of fatherhood and a hurried enlistment in the army took him far away from Enfield. Edna was staying at work as long as she was able but the time was coming when she would have to stop and the family's income would drop just at the time when more money was needed. All attempts to find her baby's father and ask him for support were fruitless.

Jamie was now eighteen, and it was about this time that he became aware of the famous comedian and drag artist Danny La Rue, then at the height of his fame. Danny had taken drag out of night clubs and onto television and that's where Jamie saw him first on a little black and white hand-me-down television set which a sympathetic workmate of his sister's had handed over when they upgraded to a larger set. He was fascinated by Danny. Was this something he could do, a combination of his love of dressing as a girl and being on stage? It had to be better than his present job.

Drag troups were very popular at that time. Jamie began to make enquiries, as discretely as he could, by checking the entertainment advertisements in the daily papers. He discovered a group called 'Les Femmes' who performed in one of the lesser-known London night clubs. Then by chance, while looking for a better job in the 'Situations Vacant' columns of one of the tabloid newspapers his mother bought daily, Jamie noticed an advertisement from the 'Les Femmes' management. They were looking for 'new talent'. He took it as a sign that this was meant to be. Heart beating fast, he walked down the street to the telephone box, called the number on the advertisement and spoke to someone who invited him to 'come in next Tuesday and show us what you can do'.

The following Tuesday when his mother and sister were at work, Jamie called in sick at the grocer's and set about making himself look as feminine as possible, using his sister's makeup, lingerie, stockings, heels, petticoats, and the prettiest frock she possessed, which currently was much too tight for her but fitted Jamie perfectly. Fortunately, Edna also owned a wig which she had bought a couple of years earlier to hide a badly miss-judged new hairstyle which she hated. Travelling into Soho on the London Underground, the closer he came to his destination, the more rapid was his heartbeat. In fact, it was beating so loudly that he was sure the other passengers could hear it, but strangely, no-one seemed to notice the young man in their midst who was dressed as a woman. Maybe it was that peculiarly English tradition of completely ignoring everyone else on the train, and burying your head in a newspaper.

Soho at that time was not only the centre of London entertainment but also its 'red-light' district, and so was quite a magnet for those seeking 'alternative entertainment'. Drag shows certainly came into this category. Jamie arrived at Lewy's Night Club which in daylight had none of the glamour it exuded after dark when the coloured lights were switched on. No-one seemed to be around so he pushed open the door and stepped into the semi-gloom inside. Somewhere a piano was tinkling, so he followed the sound and found himself in a large room with many tables and chairs and a small stage. On this stage was a young man in not very convincing drag who was trying to sing a popular tune of the time, and to be honest, making a hash of it.

He was finally put out of his misery by a man sitting at a table in front of the stage who said: “Thank you, darling, we'll let you know.” Jamie knew, as did the auditioner that it would not be good news.

Jamie coughed politely to draw attention to his presence and the man turned around. “Well, what have we here? Come to audition, darling?”

“Err, yes,” replied Jamie, fighting to get control of his nerves and thinking to himself 'What am I doing here?'

The man's eyes swept him from head to toe. “Very nice,” he said. “Well up on the stage you go, dearie. You can sing I take it?”

“Yes sir,” said Jamie and the man replied, “Don't call me 'sir', call me Donny. What's your name and what are you going to sing?”

“It's Jamie and I'll sing 'Make Love to Me' if that's alright?”

Donny looked at the pianist who nodded. It had been a popular song some years earlier, so he knew it well. He played a few opening chords and Jamie started to sing. Funnily enough, as he sang so his nerves began to leave him. What's more, he stayed in tune. It was the raunchiest song he knew, although very mild by today's standards, and when he finished, Donny actually clapped him.

“Not bad darling, not bad at all. You need polishing up of course, but when can you start?”

Jamie was shocked. “I need to give the store where I work two weeks notice,” he said.

Donny shook his head. “When I said 'when can you start' I meant today or tomorrow? If you're interested, go back and tell them you're quitting today. If not, then it's 'sayonara' honey.”

Jamie swallowed hard. “Ok, I'll start tomorrow,” he said.

“See you at ten in the morning. You don't need to be in full drag, just wear panties and a bra; we'll supply the costumes, wig and makeup,” said Donny.

All the way home on the train, Jamie could hardly believe what he'd just done. He realised with a start that he didn't even know what the pay would be, but surely it couldn't be worse than the grocer's, speaking of which he'd better go home and change, then go there right away and resign.

As Jamie undressed and put his sister's clothes back where he found them, his heart starting to race again. Once he quit his job at the grocer's, that was it, no turning back. He stared at himself in the full-length mirror and said out loud: “Jamie, this is something you've wanted your whole life. If you don't do it you'll regret it forever.”

Quickly dressing in his own clothes, he left the house and walked the two blocks to the grocery shop. As he arrived, the owner, Fred Green, saw him and walked to the doorway.

“I thought you said you was sick,” he said angrily and ungrammatically.

“I am; sick of this dead-end job with no prospects,” blurted out Jamie, surprising himself with his boldness. He caught sight of Eve, one of the other young assistants, watching the scene through the window, and it boosted his confidence. He had been at school with her and they were great friends.

“W-what did you say?” spluttered Fred Green, his voice rising several octaves, scarcely believing what he was hearing.

“You heard; I quit,” said Jamie.

“You can't. You gotta give two week's notice.”

“Too bad, I start my new job tomorrow, so, 'sayonara', Mr Green,” said Jamie, and he turned on his heel and started to walk up the street. He had only walked about thirty yards when he heard the rapid tapping of heels on the pavement behind him. He turned to see Eve rapidly approaching him.

“Jamie! Mr Green sent me to say that if you apologise he'll take you back,” She scrutinised Jamie's face. “You're not going to come back are you.” It was more a statement than a question. Jamie shook his head.

“I've got another job, a much better job,” he said.

Eve smiled. “Good for you. Are you going to tell me what it is?”

Jamie hesitated. He'd always got on very well with Eve. She wasn't his girlfriend, but she was a girl and a friend. He decided to trust her.

“Promise you won't tell anyone?” She nodded. “I'm going to work in a Soho nightclub.”

Eve gasped. “You're going to be a barman?”

Jamie hesitated again, then took the plunge. “No, not a barman. They have entertainment there where boys dress as girls and sing and dance.”

Eve's jaw dropped. “And you're going to be one of them boys?”

“I went for an audition today,” said Jamie. “Donny, I think he's the manager, offered me a job, but I have to start no later than tomorrow. That's why I quit my job today.”

Eve's face broke into a smile. “Good for you. I always thought you was a bit different to other boys I know; not in a bad way, you're actually more sensitive. Being friends with you is like being friends with other girls if you know what I mean? Please let me know how you get on, and ... good luck.” With that, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

Jamie smiled too. “Thank you Eve. Thanks for being so understanding.”

They parted company and Jamie walked home. Now for the difficult part, telling his mother and sister.

Jamie told his sister first and she took the news remarkably calmly. Jamie began to wonder if it was so obvious that he wasn't like other boys.

“Well you've had plenty of practice dressing as a girl,” said Edna with a smile.

Jamie flushed. “You mean you...” His voice trailed off.

“Knew you were dressing in my clothes, Jamie? Of course I did. You weren't very good at putting things back the way you found them,” she laughed.

Jamie felt mortified. He thought he'd been so careful, and yet Edna knew all along.

“Well, now you can dress as a girl and even get paid for it. By the way, how much will you be paid?”

Jamie felt like a fool. “I forgot to ask,” he replied after a long pause. “I hope it's more than I got delivering groceries. Edna, I don't know how to tell Mum, would you tell her for me?”

“I don't think she'll be really surprised, Jamie. Mothers are very smart at picking up things you know?”

And that's how it turned out. Jamie's Mum was quite understanding. Her main worry was the thought of Jamie wandering the streets of Soho in the wee small hours.

“Promise me you'll always have company when you walk through those streets,” she said, “I've heard there's a lot of bad characters hanging around there.” Jamie promised he'd be careful.

That evening before he went to bed, Edna knocked on Jamie's bedroom door. “Here,” she said, offering him some panties and a padded bra. “You'd better wear these when you go to work tomorrow. I think they'll expect it. Make sure your chest and legs are shaved too. I'm sure they'll provide everything else you need to wear.”

“Thanks, sis,” said Jamie. It was something he'd forgotten about. Thank goodness for sisters.

To be continued

Next time, Jamie;s first day in a strange new world.