Becoming Joanne

It was a critical time of my life, things had to change and quickly.

My Dad had died in an industrial accident when I was very young, Carol, my Mam had re-married a few years later and she sold her house and we moved in with my stepdad Bill and his two daughters. We were all ok together but I never really bonded with Bill, he never abused me or anything, but his daughters Jenny and Jill, got all his attention and favours and I was very much the black sheep of the family. My Mam died when I was 16, effectively leaving me as an orphan as Bill had never legally adopted me.

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“Right lad, you are now 18, and legally an adult, it’s time you learned to stand on your own two feet. I’ll give you a few weeks to get yourself sorted out but then I want you out of here, you’ve never really taken to me or my girls, and now you are 18 I have no legal responsibility for you anymore. I’ll give you a share of your Mam’s life assurance payout to set you up, then that’s it”

“What am i supposed to do, I’ve just left school with a few qualifications, but I have no work experience, and no one I can approach to give me a job, and nowhere to live. You are being unreasonable, Mam helped build this home with you and looked after you and the girls, and if the situation was reversed she would never kick out the girls.”

“I suggest you start looking for somewhere to stay, and the sooner the better, if you are going to have that attitude.”

Although I had a bit of the insurance money it would not last long if I splashed out so I looked at the adverts in the local paper for bedsits and lodgings. I had a look at a few places, but either they were not to my liking or I was not to theirs and was beginning to get desperate. Eventually I found somewhere on the other side of town, a rambling Victorian property, whose owner was a pleasant middle aged lady living by herself. She said that she was really looking for a lady or girl who could keep her company, but when I told her I was desperate, as I would soon be homeless, she took pity on me and offered me a room, on trial.

I had introduced myself as John Chambers, and had told her all about my situation with my stepfather and that I urgently needed a room as I was getting thrown out of the family house. Coincidentally although her married name was Marshall, her maiden name was also Chambers. It turned out that she was a distant cousin of my Dad and remembered him from family get-togethers when they’re children, but that was many years ago, and had only met my Mam once and didn’t really know her. She had lived alone for a few years since the death of her husband and daughter Joanne in a boating accident when out sea fishing, and would be glad of the company, and hoped that I would be able to spend some time in company with her.

I collected my few belongings from the family house, but there was not much as my stepfather had already thrown out a lot of my stuff, and I moved in with Mrs Marshall, who insisted I call her Diane, and settled in what had been Joanne’s bedroom.

“Please excuse the clutter, I have not really cleared out Joanne’s stuff, just move all her clothes and things into one of the wardrobes and use the other yourself, and move her stuff from the dresser into the wardrobe drawers.”

I didn’t have many clothes or other stuff with me so there was plenty of room. Although I moved all Joanne’s clothes, I left a lot of her pictures hung on the walls and bits and pieces of personal items on the shelves and dresser top, they all helped to make the place a bit more homely.

After a few days, when I was settled in I started looking for a job. With no work experience, and few qualifications, this was not easy. I was told that I was under-qualified for any professional training, too small at 5’7” and 155 pounds for any manual work, and most office opportunities were looking for girls rather than boys.

Diane asked if I could use a computer, which as an 18 year old lad I took as a bit of an insult, and when I confirmed that most of my school work had been computer-based, and that I knew my way around most of the commonly used programs, she said that she might be able to help and to leave it with her.

A few days later I went to see Laura, a cousin of Diane, who was also a distant cousin of mine who ran a secretarial agency, demonstrated my abilities with the computer and was offered a job.The office secretary, who managed all the booking schedules, was soon to be married and needed more money, and knew that she could earn more by going out ‘temping” than she would being office based, After a few days working with her and learning where everything was kept and what all the office management procedures were, I took over the role on a temporary trial basis.

My main roles were in dealing with client enquiries for temporary staff to cover work peaks, sickness and holidays as well as general correspondence and office work. I soon took the opportunity to update all the contract staff CVs and placement schedules onto a spreadsheet, which linked across to the accounting records covering incoming fees and staff wages, as well as totally revamping and updating the company website and social media pages. Laura was extremely pleased with how quickly I had settled in and with how I had updated the office management systems and offered me the position on a permanent basis.

I settled in quite quickly at Diane’s, and as I didn’t really have any close friends I often sat with her in the evenings and she was pleased to have someone to chat with. She told me a lot about her daughter Joanne, her likes and dislikes, her hopes and aspirations, and how it was a deep sorrow that she never got to live a full life, and I quickly felt that I actually knew her.

I did odd jobs around the house and garden for her, and in return she kept my room tidy and did my washing, as well as preparing meals for us both.

“How long have you had those pyjamas, they are threadbare and fraying, and when they came out of the washing machine they were falling apart, should I just throw them out and you can wear another set.”

“They are the only ones I have, I’ll get another set when I am in town at the weekend, meantime I’ll just sleep in my underwear.”

“That’s up to you but there are some perfectly good pyjama sets of Joanne’s sitting in the drawer, you are welcome to use them, in fact if there is any more of her stuff that you could use, as you quite small for a boy, and are almost the same size as her, please help yourself, you didn’t bring many clothes with you. and you will need more unless you want to put things in the wash every day.”

i had a rummage through Joanne’s stuff and found a pyjama set that although obviously made for girls wasn’t too feminine or frilly, a short sleeved top with a scooped neck and matching shorts all in a pale blue light cotton material with little panda motifs. It all fit fine and felt comfortable and so I wore it to sleep in. Probably because of all the chat about Joanne, and the fact I was wearing a set of her pyjamas, I had a strange dream about her where I saw her come over to me to give me a welcome hug.

As the next morning was a Saturday and I was not working, and it was usually a casual dress day I absent-mindedly went down for breakfast in the pyjamas, and when I went into the kitchen Diane looked at me and went ashen-faced.

“You gave me a bit of a shock, at first glance I thought I was seeing Joanne, there is definitely a family resemblance, not identical, but at first glance it was easy to make the mistake. Oh, by the way, if you are going to wear stuff like that, I suggest you wear some knickers under the shorts, they are not designed for boys’ parts.”

I quickly went to my room, and, as most of my underpants were as worn and ready for the bin as my pyjamas had been, found some almost matching blue knickers and went back down to chat over breakfast.

“Actually I find the knickers quite soft and comfortable, and my underpants are also well past their best and need to be thrown out. If it’s ok with you I’ll just sort out a few pairs and put them in with my stuff, it’s a shame that they are just sitting unused in a drawer.”

That became a routine, and I was usually wearing Joanne’s knickers under my work trousers and her pyjamas at night. Wearing some of her clothes my dreams of Joanne became even more vivid and I found i was imagining having chats with her about her life, her friends, and what she got up to and we were becoming good dreamtime friends. When I told Diane about some of the dreams I had, she was quite overcome as she told me that many of the dreams I had were very near to reality.

I found that surprisingly I was getting on really well with Diane, sitting chatting in the evening when we were watching the soaps or films on TV, and found her very easy to get on with. She encouraged me, as sometime in the future I would probably leave and set up home on my own, to work with her in the kitchen and learn to cook and bake which I actually really enjoyed, and she gave me one of her spare aprons to wear so as not to dirty my clothes.

Going home from work one evening through the park, I slipped on a muddy patch of grass and fell on my back, totally muddying my trousers and jacket and ripping the back of my trousers. When i got back to the house, I went to change into something clean but found that Diane had put my spare jeans in the wash that was already running, so we had to leave my dirty stuff until later.

“As I told you before, you are about the same size as my Joanne was, just see if any of her trousers will fit you. You are only hanging around the house tonight, and there’s only me here, I won’t mind.”

I found a pair of stretch denim jeans, which fit very snugly, they were a bit tight in the waist and crotch area, but otherwise fit me quite well. The legs were a bit long and would trail on the ground if worn outside but would be ok around the house. So as to keep my two shirts clean for work, I also found a nice warm chunky jumper of Joanne’s which again fitted very snugly, but was very comfortable nevertheless. Diane was pleased with the fit of the clothes and said that they suited me as I had quite slim legs for a boy, and the tight jeans showed them off.

Despite continuing to have vivid dreams about Joanne, I was sleeping very soundly, probably helped by the bedtime cup of hot chocolate that Diane always made for me and the soothing music cd I had found in Joanne’s stuff and which I usually left playing on the bedside table to send me off to sleep.

The next morning my jacket was dry and brushed clean, but my trousers were beyond repair and my spare jeans had still not dried properly and could not be worn. Diane suggested that I just wear Joanne’s jeans to work, after all there was only Laura in the office and she probably wouldn’t notice, or if she did she wouldn’t mind, My trainers had got really filthy when I slipped and so I also borrowed a pair of Joanne’s flats, which were a tight fit, so I wore them without socks.

“ You’re looking very smart today, have you been out shopping” Laura commented when I arrived at the office.”

“ No, but I must soon, I haven’t got many clothes, and the ones I have are either falling apart or filthy and not fit to wear. Diane suggested that I was free to borrow some of Joanne’s stuff until I was able to get myself sorted, and it all seems a comfortable fit, so I am in no hurry.”

“As long as you are clean and tidy and not too casual I don’t really mind what you wear, it’s only the two of us here, it’s very rarely that we actually get clients or any of the contract staff coming in to the office.”

When we were getting ready to close up at the end of the day and go home, Laura said “I hope you don’t mind me saying but I’ve noticed you a few times pulling at the jeans at the top of your legs, are you sure that they are comfortable, they are quite snug and they are not really cut to accommodate your male bits.”

“Sometimes when I sit down or stand up they do nip a bit down there, but otherwise they are very comfortable and they are are lot lighter and smoother than my normal trousers., it’s probably just a case of getting used to them”

“If I can make a suggestion, I was watching an item on Rue Paul’s Drag Race the other night and when some of the guys/girls are wearing tight shorts and things they tuck their male bits back between their legs, that might help a bit.”

i thought that i would give it a go when I got back home, it seemed a sensible suggestion. It was a bit fiddly at first but I quickly found a technique that worked and the jeans sat better and didn’t seem to rub as much, and I thought that’s what I would do when I was wearing these again. When we were chatting later, Diane commented on the new appearance and said that she thought that the jeans were fitting me quite well and that I ought to try on some of the others.

The next morning I thought that the jeans were maybe a bit casual for work, so picked out a neat black pair of slacks with a slight flare at the bottom of the legs. Although they were obviously made for girls, the pockets being closed and only decorative, and the front zip being quite short, only really long enough to open up the waist to get the trousers on and off and not really suitable for calls of nature for a boy, they were smart and comfortable and more appropriate for the office. As I was going to be tucked anyway and would have to take down the trousers and sit when relieving myself, I decided that the short zip would not be a problem.

Going down for breakfast I almost tripped and fell as the slacks were a bit long and trailing a bit on the floor.

“Girls wear their trousers, particular those with wide leg bottoms, so they sit over the heels of their shoes, rather than on top of them like boys do,” advised Diane “It might be easier if you wore some shoes with a bit of a built up heel just to lift them clear of the ground. There should be some with chunky heels in with Joanne’s stuff, see if any of them are comfortable.”

I found a pair of smart black dress shoes with chunky 2” heels that fitted well and helped to make the slacks sit a lot better, and set off for work again. I soon got accustomed to the raised heel and adjusted my walk to suit, and by the time I arrived at the office I didn’t really notice what I was wearing.

“Those trousers are much more professional than the jeans you had on yesterday, I would prefer you to wear that style all the time as long as you are happy with it, and the shoes really make them hang right.”

We had a quite successful day, Laura had several enquiries in reply to the improved website and signed up several long-term contracts for cover through the coming summer holiday season, and she suggested that we go for a quick after-work drink to celebrate. We went to a local wine bar and I found a table while Laura went to order our drinks. The waiter soon came over with our glasses of wine, gave us a cheery smile and a “enjoy your drinks ladies.”

“ Did he just say ‘Ladies’, I know the lighting is quite dim in here but surely I don’t look like a girl”

“Don’t worry about it, with your girls trousers and wearing heels they make you walk a bit girly and your hair could do with a trim, you have no noticeable facial hair, it was an easy mistake for him to make, and if it gets a more pleasant personal service just go along with it.”

When I got home, over dinner I told Diane about the waiter and about Laura’s comments about my hair needing a bit of attention, and she had a bit of a giggle before suggesting that Laura probably had a point.

“ My mobile hairdresser is coming round tomorrow afternoon, I’ll see if she can make it a bit later and do yours as well, does that suit you?”

Jan, the hairdresser, asked how I wanted it cut and styled and I told her not to take too much off, just trim the ends and layer it in a bit, and to give it a bit of a style as she saw fit. She did the trim in our kitchen so I couldn’t really see what she was up to as there were no mirrors, but she spent well over an hour sectioning and cutting my hair, spraying it with lotion, and brushing and blow-drying it, before I got a chance to see what she had done. I was surprised with the way she had cut it in a layered but full-bodied bob with a very high parting, a diagonal fringe across my forehead and the crown brushed backwards tapering in to the collar line. It did look a bit of a feminine style but both her and Diane assured me it really suited me and would be easy to look after. Jan told me that it should hold the style for a while and all it would need in the mornings would be a quick brush and a bit of spray to hold it in place through the day .

We were settling down after dinner when the doorbell went, and as Diane was busy tidying up, I went to answer it. It was a delivery driver from one of the internet shopping companies with a parcel for Diane. “You need to sign for it Miss, where the cross is on the form. Thank you Miss have a lovely evening.” The way I was dressed, in leggings and a fluffy wool jumper, and with my new hairstyle I could hardly blame her.

That night I had another dream ‘visit’ from Joanne who told that she was really pleased that I had settled in with her mam, that she was glad that I was finding some use for her clothes, and that she loved my new look.The next morning was quite misty and chilly and Diane suggested that it might be warmer walking to work if I put on a pair of tights under the trousers as they were quite light material and she proved to be right, the extra layer gripping the legs definitely kept the chill at bay.

Laura thought my new hair style delightful and that it really suited me, and that the way it framed my face really showed off my high cheekbones and soft features. she also picked up that I was wearing tights, and warned me to be careful taking them on and off as they were very delicate and easily snagged, and it would be best to keep a few spare pairs at home and in the office..

Later she sent me out to the local delicatessen to get sandwiches and salads for lunch and the sales assistant served me with a “Good afternoon Miss, what can I get you”, and “Thank you Dear, please call again.” This was beginning to become a regular thing, I knew that I was not exactly butch, but even though I was wearing girls trousers and shoes and with a stylish hairdo, i didn’t think that I looked particularly female either.

Laura was in hysterics when I told her, but again she told me just to take advantage of the friendlier service if people thought I was a girl and as long as I was comfortable myself, not to worry about anyone else.

I found that I was quite comfortable and never self-conscious at home wearing some of Joanne’s casual clothes, leggings and tops and Diane seemed quite relaxed about my appearance until one night she said she wanted to have a serious talk with me.

“John, you are wearing Joanne’s clothes most of the time now, are you sure you are ok with this. I heard that delivery driver the other night address you as Miss and you didn’t correct her. When you first came here you were a typical scruffy young man, but now you seem to care a lot more about how you look. Have you ever worn girl’s clothes before?”

“ No even though I have two step-sisters, i did not particularly get on with them, and was never invited to join in their games or go out with their friends. I never thought about wearing girls clothes before I came here, but sort of drifted into it and in my dreams Joanne seemed to be encouraging me to just relax and wear whichever of her clothes I fancied. I sleep well at night with the bedtime hot chocolate and some of Joanne’s CDs I play to send me off to sleep, but Joanne often comes into my dreams.”

“Show me the CDs you play.” said Diane with a concerned look on her face, and I went to get them both, one with Whale song and one with Gregorian chants, both very therapeutic and soothing.

“ I was wondering if those were the ones you meant, I wish you hadn’t used them. When Joanne was in her early teens, she went through a very strong tomboy phase, would only wear very sloppy clothes, cut her hair short and would not wear dresses or skirts. I wanted her to be a bit more feminine so I asked Laura if she could find on the internet some of the CDs I had heard about with background subliminal messages encouraging her to be more feminine, and that’s what you have been listening to when sleeping. The messages drill into your sub-conscious without you being aware and your brain gradually begins to accept the message and alter your personality.”

“I’ve heard of subliminal messages, aren’t they often used in television and radio advertising to encourage you to buy a particular product.”

“They were but I think that they are not allowed now, and they were not intense or long enough to have much effect anyway”

“That’s why you have been so amenable to my suggestions about you wearing Joanne’s stuff, that music while you are sleeping has been encouraging you to be more girly. I think that you should stop listening to these CD’s before they have any permanent effect. I’m so sorry, I should have realised earlier. That’s also probably why you have been dreaming so much about Joanne, as living in her room with her things your brain has associated being more feminine with being more like her.”

I stopped listening to those CDs, but still continued to wear Joanne’s clothes as I now felt quite at ease in them, and even went to the shops and bought some new stuff of my own. Diane had told Laura about what had happened and hoped that it hadn’t caused her any problems in the office. She said she wondered why I was gradually acting more girly, but otherwise felt that I fitted into the office and the work very well and she didn’t really mind.

As we were now coming into summer, it was getting hot and stuffy in the office and wearing a jacket to work was getting too uncomfortable, and seeing Laura wearing only light summer tops I asked her if it would be ok for me to get something similar.

“I know you have stopped listening to the CDs now but I think that they are still in your sub-conscious and making you think femininely. You don’t have to continue wearing Joanne’s stuff, but I’ve told you before you can wear anything you like as long as you are clean and tidy. Why not get a couple of light summer blouses and see whether they feel better. If that’s what you want to do, and, if you are not going to be wearing a jacket you will have no pockets for your wallet and keys and things, you will need a bag of some sort. Let’s close up for lunch and go and see what we can find.” There was very little in the shops that could be seen as either masculine or feminine, but we managed to find some light summer short-sleeved collared blouson tops that could do and a smart black shoulder bag for my stuff.

Wearing one of my new tops, the afternoon in the office was much more pleasant and comfortable and I got a couple more on the way home and some tunic tops to wear around the house. I had got used to the softer and lighter fabrics and found wearing women’s clothes second nature for me, and now I very rarely wore any of my boys’ stuff

Although the feminising tapes were now gone, i still enjoyed the routines of relaxing, chatting and watching tv or baking with Diane, and although she felt guilty about the effects the music had on me, but would not admit it, started treating me as a daughter, and even called me Joanne by mistake a few times. I didn’t mind as she was saying it a casual friendly manner, and in a way I was quite pleased that she was beginning to think of me as her replacement daughter.

Next time Jan, our hairdresser came she was pleasantly surprised at how feminine I was looking and when she trimmed my hair she left it in a bit longer style and showed me how to put a bit of a wave in it using curling tongs, which I really liked the look of, and she trimmed my eyebrows slightly as they were beginning to get a little bit bushy.

At work we were really getting into our busy summer season, with high demand from clients for holiday cover and with some of our own staff also being away., and all the girls on our books were
in placements.

“I have a problem John, the secretary/PA of one of our regular clients, Campbell’s the solicitors, has taken ill and he needs an urgent replacement, the spreadsheets show that we have nobody to send, are they up to date?” Laura asked me after coming off the phone.

“Yes, next week we have a couple back from their holidays, but this week we are snowed under, everybody is out at the moment.”

“Could I ask a really big favour, John, this is a very good client and I would not like to let him down, I know you do not normally do temping but this once can you stand in.”

“I know how much we get in fees from him and you’re right we should not to let anyone else get a foot in the door, but please don’t make a habit of it, many people would not take to the way I dress.”

“Hello Mr Campbell, how are you? We have a bit of a problem getting a temp for you, all our normal staff are out on jobs, but I can offer you my personal PA, they are quite young, but very competent and presentable and should fit the bill nicely for you.”

“Fine, send her round tomorrow and we’ll see how she does, if she fits in we may need her for a couple of weeks, is that ok? As you know, I am ‘old school’ and prefer my PA to wear a dress or skirt rather than trousers, but otherwise, as long as she is smart and presentable, it is up to her.”

“ I’m not sure if you picked up any of that conversation John, but he is expecting a woman. I know it is asking a lot but you are dressing fairly femininely and are about the right size for a girl, do you think you could manage in a dress for a couple of weeks, I’ll make it worth your while.”

Linda came round early the next morning and helped me pick out a pale blue shift dress with matching bolero top, and before I dressed showed me how to apply make up that I had recovered from Joanne’s stuff. She made me clean it off and repeat it a few times so that I would be able to touch it up during the day if necessary. Most of it wasn’t any problem but applying eye-liner and mascara were not my favourite operations.

“ You must realise that you do not have breasts like us girls and we will have to do something about that. See if you can find a couple of bras that match your knickers, let me pick the most suitable, and I have found something to fill it with.” After the struggle of putting on the unfamiliar bra, which was a reasonable match to the knickers I had on, Laura put in a couple of silicone inserts, which gave me a quite acceptable bust-line, and their weight and movement on my chest was a most unusual feeling but were obviously needed to make the dress sit right and to express my femininity.

Wearing my new dress, with a spritz of Miss Dior, I put on my shoes, picked up my bag, now loaded with daily feminine essentials and Laura drove me to Mr Campbell’s office and introduced me to him as Joanne, her PA, and his PA for the next two weeks.

“Welcome to the funny farm Joanne, it should be fairly quiet today, there will be a bit of correspondence and answering the phone, but it shouldn’t be too challenging whilst you find your feet and get to know how we do things. When it is just the two of us please call me Charles, but in front of clients or the other staff it should always be Mr Campbell. I am a bit busy at the moment, please find time to introduce yourself to the others in the main office, there are a couple of other partner solicitors, a paralegal and their secretaries.

I made Charles a cup of tea and went for a wander around the office to introduce myself and find out where everything was. The other two solicitors and paralegal were quite young and recently qualified and seemed to be very pleasant and I hoped that this would be a happy two weeks.

All seemed well until I went in to meet the other secretaries, one of them was was my step-sister Jill. She obviously didn’t recognise me and was actually quite pleasant, but I was glad to get back to my own desk to catch my breath and recover from the shock.

The other three girls invited me to join them for lunch and we got to know each other, I told them about my usual job with Joanne and that I was living with a relative on the edge of town, but otherwise kept most details to myself. Surprisingly I was getting on very well with Jill, we were about the same age and seemed to have a lot of similar interests, and I could not compare her to the cold and unfriendly girl I had grown up with.

Over the rest of the week Jill told me a lot about herself and her family and even said that it was a shame when their brother was thrown out and she wondered what had become of him -little did she know !

“I’d like to find my step-brother, he doesn’t know, but when his father died he had set up a trust fund for John, which has been growing with interest over the years and was now worth a tidy sum. As nobody knows where John is, my father and sister are trying to get the funds transferred into his mothers estate and then they could make a claim on it, as under her will everything passed to her husband. It doesn’t seem fair to me, I’ve had a word with Mr Campbell and he has said that it normally takes seven years for someone to be presumed dead and for their assets to be re-allocated, and there is no chance for them at the moment.”

That came as a bit of a shock to me, not just because of the possible money, but that Jill seemed to care about John. She told me that when she was younger her father kept her and her sister under very firm control and that although they were more favoured than John he was almost as unpleasant to them and occasionally abused them. After I had left, her sister Jenny turned all the venom that had been directed to me onto her and she told me that she was considering leaving home soon.

When Mr Campbell’s PA returned to work and I went back to Laura’s office, I kept in touch with Jill, and started going out with her and we became very good friends. I had become very comfortable and natural as Joanne during my two weeks working for Charles, and agreed with Laura and Diane that I would continue to live as Joanne for a while to see how things turned out.

I got rid of my few boys’ clothes, none of it was worth keeping anyway, and replaced them with dresses, skirts and more underwear and accessories, and bought a full set of makeup after having had a makeover by the beauty consultant in one of the stores in town. As I was now living full-time as a girl, we found some special adhesive for the false breasts and they became an almost permanent feature for me. Having the weight and movement of my new breasts, along with wearing heels, my balance and posture changed and everyone, including Diane and Laura just saw me and treated me as one of the girls.

My hair was know grown fairly long to shoulder length and Jan, who had been made aware of my changes, suggested that she could restyle it with soft waves falling just over my shoulders and it would be left long enough to experiment with different styles, or to tie up out of the way when I was sleeping or working in the kitchen or garden. She also plucked and shaped my eyebrows in a much lighter arch, and although I was now getting very good with my make-up she showed me some different styles and effects for special occasions. Looking in a mirror afterwards there was no sign of John, all I saw was Joanne. Diane had shown me some photos of her daughter and we could almost be taken as sisters, and she very soon began to treat me as If I was her Joanne.

Jill and I went out together regularly, to pubs and clubs, dances and discos and had lots of pick-up offers but neither of us was particularly in a hurry to find a boyfriend, particularly me, and so we just had a good time together enjoying each others company. One evening in a bar, she told me that her father and sister were getting very frustrated that they couldn’t get their hands on what they saw as their rightful money, that she was arguing constantly with them about it, and was looking to move out as soon as she could find somewhere.

I had a word with Diane about letting Jill move into a spare room she had, and having assured her that there would be no problem with her discovering the real me, it was all agreed and she moved in a few days later. Obviously I now had to be more discreet, and as well as wearing my breasts permanently stuck as part of me, I also used the adhesive to fix my tuck so that there was no sign of my male parts anywhere if I was seen in my underwear or if we were lounging around in pyjamas or nighties, as I now often wore.

Jill settled in well with Diane and me, and as I had suspected often just came into my room when I was changing or saw me getting out of the shower wearing just a towel, so it was just as well that I had used the adhesive, and there was no sign of my boy parts. It did mean that I now had no choice but to sit when using the loo, but I had been doing that anyway as it was easier when wearing a dress or skirt with tights so it was not a worry, To most intents and purposes I was now a girl, even taking to carrying and using sanitary pads to act as if I was suffering my periods.

At work Laura had taken on more casual staff and it was becoming almost a full-time job handling all the bookings, so Laura promoted me to assistant manager and we took on another girl to handle what had been my general secretarial duties. We did offer the job to Jill, but she preferred to stay where she was at Campbells.

Although I did not grow much facial hair and would only have shaved once a week as a boy, having to shave daily before putting on my concealer and make-up was becoming a bit of a chore, so I signed up for a course of laser treatment , which although costly and painful did its job and along with using moisturiser at night and applying day cream before my makeup, my skin was soon not a lot different to other girls, which did mean I could go casual and natural without makeup when I wanted.

Jill found out that her father and sister had been in touch with the administrators of my trust fund and that they had found John and would be going in with him to make his claim on the fund, which obviously stunned me as it was just impossible. Initially Jill went to see the trustees and told them that she knew where I was, and that their ‘John’ was obviously an imposter, however he had found ‘John’ very convincing and knowledgeable about the family background and it was her word against theirs. Jill requested that a DNA test be carried out, but she was told that as both Mam and Dad were dead and there were no brothers or sisters it would be difficult to get another profile to match it against.

“How flexible is the DNA analysis.” she asked the trustee, I remember meeting some distant cousins of John when I was younger and I know where they are,” meaning Diane and Laura.”

“It all depends,” said the trustee, “usually they can find a match from two or three generations back, it may not be legally strong enough to prove a positive link but it will definitely rule out no link at all.”

The fake ‘John” was asked to give a set of fingerprints and a DNA sample for the records for any future queries, which he happily did, and these were matched against Diane and Laura, who had also given samples, along with records of their family tree showing how they were related to Mam, which proved conclusively that he was an imposter and that the family were carrying out fraud. The police investigated further to confirm the identity of the imposter, the case was taken to court , they were found guilty of fraud and falsifying official documents and were imprisoned for five years. The court also found that Jill and John both were entitled to a share of the family home and its contents.

Obviously I now had to tell Jill who I really was and she couldn’t believe it, even without makeup and with my hair brushed back she still didn’t recognise me as she remembered John, and she couldn’t believe that I was male. She had seen me almost naked in my undies and as I appeared to have all the right bits in the right places, I looked totally convincing as female. However when she recovered from the shock I gave her all the story about moving in with Diane, starting work with Laura, and the problem with the CDs which had started me along this path. After thinking about it all for a while she told me that she had known me as Joanne for months and looked upon me as her best friend, almost as a sister which I was partly anyway, and that as far as she was concerned, I was Joanne.

We then started the process of claiming my inheritance, i provided a DNA and blood sample for analysis which confirmed that I was a second cousin to Diane and Laura and by default that I was directly related to my Mam. Jill had gone round to her house to make sure everything was ok and to pick up a few more of her things and had found a box with a few of Mam’s personal things in one of the cupboard drawers, including her hairbrush and toothbrush, and analysis of her hair DNA showed that I was unquestionably her child. My claim was accepted in principle but the trustee insisted on meeting me to answer a few family questions.

I gave him a shock when I entered his office in a lace top, a skirt and heels, long wavy hair and full makeup, but , a true professional, he quickly recovered and went through the process of confirming who I was . Before signing all the necessary forms and releasing the funds to my account he asked if I was still legally John Chambers, bearing in mind how I looked, and I confirmed that I was and could honestly sign any documents he needed, but that I would probably soon be changing my name and would keep him informed for his records. He told me that as some of the fund investments were in fixed-term bonds, that it would take a few months to close everything down and release all the money to me.

As we were now effectively 50% owners of the property, and as it held unhappy memories for both of us, we decided to sell the house, and Jill got approval from Bill and Jenny. Jill was given her share of the proceeds, mine went into the trust fund for me, and the share for Jill’s father and sister were put into an account for them to access when they were released.

I now had a healthy bank balance, although not enough to live a life of luxury, and so kept on working with Laura. Obviously, now that it was finally proven beyond doubt that I was related
to her and Diane, our relationship changed and I was now a full family member and was introduced to other relatives as Laura “cousin Carol’s girl, do you remember Carol?” by my Auntie Diane and my Auntie Laura. ( actually they are my 2nd cousins once removed, but Auntie sounds much friendlier and less formal. )

Both Jill and I were still only in our mid twenties, and because of our troubled childhoods were in no hurry to settle down, and Auntie Diane was happy for us to stay with her as long as we wished.

My Aunties, Jill, and I were out for a birthday meal for Auntie Laura, and afterwards when we were all in a very good mood, auntie Diane looking serious told us that she had decided to change her will.

“I lost my husband and daughter and, apart from Laura have no really close relatives, in particularly there are none of the younger generation that I really know. You are as close a relative as most and I now look on you as my second daughter. I will be leaving you the house in my will, but hopefully not for many years yet, so, if you want, please treat the place as your own and stay, not as a lodger but as part of the family and the future owner.”

“ I’m absolutely flabbergasted Auntie Diane, it is not something that I expected, it is so kind of you. I’ll be delighted, but the house still belongs to you and I will treat it as such.” I got up and went round to her and gave her an enormous hug and kiss, with tears in my eyes.

Auntie Laura was not to be left out. “While we are all in such a good mood, I have been considering something similar myself. You are running the agency along with me and have helped it to grow, in a few years I will be thinking about retirement and a cottage in the country, I would like you to keep it going and will transfer it to you when I do.” Time for another round of hugs and kisses !

In the spirit of the evening I turned to Jill. “You are a wonderful sister to me Jill, I forgave you a long time ago for any problems in our childhood, you have accepted me as Joanne, and we are now as close a family as most, probably closer because we have chosen to be a family rather than just as a consequence of birth, treat the house as your family home too.” The restaurant staff must have thought us crazy, four women hugging, kissing and crying and laughing all as one.

I decided that I loved the direction my life had taken and that I needed to make it permanent. I went to see the local doctor that I had registered with but never had the need to visit and when she got over the shock and surprise of how I looked was very sympathetic and referred me to a specialist at the major hospital in the next town. After what I now know to be the standard examinations and checks on my commitment and lifestyle he agreed to treat me, gave me an injection of hormones and some tablets to take daily and I was now on the road to womanhood. It was only psychological but I was sure that I could feel the flow of the hormones through my veins, and although it would be a while for any effects to show, I considered myself to now be a woman.

The effects of the drugs gradually began to show over the next few months, I lost a bit of weight, particularly around my waist, but it seemed to transfer to my bottom and hips, my breasts started to develop slowly, my skin softened, and my muscles thinned and weakened. Jill told that the major change she had noticed was that I now had lots of mood swings and teary moments, as if I was permanently on a period. i was told by my doctor that this was all to be expected, and that body changes would soon settle down.

It soon got to the stage where I no longer needed the false breasts, but for a while would still need the help of ‘chicken fillet” enhancers to push me up a bit. I soon put to the back of my mind that
I was ever a boy and just naturally went about my everyday life as the young woman that I now was. Living with Auntie Diane and Jill, and working all day with Auntie Laura, I soon stopped thinking about copying their gestures and way of talking and it all just came naturally to me.

As it was soon coming to the end of my 12 months life-test, I wanted to make my life as Joanne official. I went to see Mr Campbell about changing my name by deed-poll . He was amazed by my changed looks and when I told him my life story, he had no idea that when I was working for him that I was still very much a male. He filled in the appropriate forms and started the process off and I soon officially and legally became Miss Joanne Chambers, ‘spinster of the parish’. Now armed with official documents certifying my new name, I applied to change my driving licence, and National Insurance records which was a bit more bureaucratic, but the new documents soon arrived. Jill decided that she wanted to distance herself from her father and sister, and make it more difficult for them to find her later when they were released, and went through the same process to also change her name to Chambers and as far as anyone else was concerned, we were sisters.

Although it was something that I had planned for twelve months and was looking forward to the outcome, I went in for my transition surgery with a great deal of worry. I had never had any operation before, other than dental work, but with Auntie Diane holding my hand reassuring me, I was wheeled contentedly on a trolley into the operating theatre, hit with anaesthetic and went off to dreamland. During the operation I dreamt of Joanne, she came towards me, gave me a big hug
and then seemed to disappear into me like a ghost passing through a wall.

I woke up feeling very sore but with my three favourite women by my bedside with an enormous bunch of flowers.

“ Welcome to the sisterhood Joanne,” said Jill with a big beaming smile on her face, “as the beautiful woman you now are you’ll have to get used to being given bunches of flowers.”

I stayed in hospital for a few days while the worst of the ache died down and checks were made that I was healing nicely, given lots of lectures by the nurses on feminine hygiene and the need for dilators and dildos to ensure everything stayed in working order and to introduce me to the pleasures of sex as a female.

Jill came in with some fresh clothes for me, a gorgeous set of new lacy underwear for the new woman, one of my favourite skirts and jumpers, and left me to put on my clothes and makeup while she went to have a chat with the nurses. Before I pulled up my new knickers I put in a sanitary pad to cope with any leaks, although I had used them before this was the first time I actually needed one.

When I got home I was greeted by my Aunties who were throwing a private ‘welcome to our world’ dinner party for just the four of us, they had considered inviting more people but sensibly decided that I was probably not up to it. After dinner I felt very tired and went up to my room, and lying on the bed was a gorgeous full-length silk nightdress with lace trim around the deep V-neck, half-sleeves, and hem, with a matching negligée. Despite just wanting to crawl into bed and fall asleep I felt that the others deserved to see me in the new outfit, I put it on and went back downstairs to give them a show. It fitted perfectly and I felt so glamorous and feminine, that I just burst out crying with happiness.

“That’s my girl Joanne have a good cry, you have turned out so beautiful, I have sometimes regretted what I had caused you to do, but seeing how happy you are tonight I realise I do not need to feel any guilt, you will never be my Joanne, but you are not far off and I now see you as her sister.” Auntie Diane told me through her own tears.

Life went on and my new role as a woman fitted me like a glove. I don’t know whether it was the music and its subliminal messages that caused my change, or whether it was something that was always within me that it just released. I do know that whatever the cause, I had never in my life been happier and more content.

Jill and I continued to live at the house, along with Auntie Diane. However five years later Auntie Laura decided to retire to the country and leave the running of the agency to me, although she still legally owned it, and Auntie Diane decided to join her.

Possibly because we were now on our own in a big spacious house, and now into our thirties, Jill started getting a bit broody. Although she had always said that she wasn’t bothered about having children, she now thought that although we were an unconventional couple it would help to complete our relationship and we could enjoy a full family life. She was quite happy with the way we were living, and we had found many ways to enjoy intimate moments together,, and didn’t particularly fancy settling down with a man and getting married, and she was particularly untrusting of commercial sperm donor agencies. Luckily, although I expected never to need it, I had some of my semen collected and frozen prior to my operation and we decided that this was the best option for us, after all we were technically only step-sisters, not blood relations, so there would be no genetic complications.

A year later we became the proud parents of Carol Diane Laura Chambers, our beautiful baby girl, and were often visited by her equally proud godmothers, Great-Aunts Diane and Laura after who she was named along with my Mother, who had to all intents and purposes also raised and acted as a mother to Jill.

From being an orphan in my teens, not really knowing my father, and being brought up in an unhappy household by an abusive step-father, my life had been changed beyond recognition and infinitely for the better, when I met two wonderful women, my aunties and dear friends, Diane and Laura, to whom I would be eternally grateful.

The end