And wouldn’t you know it, we’d planned to get together with the crew (Larry and Kelly, Mark and Maria, and us), then little Tony decided that he wanted to be included. Yes, Amy ended up delivering Mark and Maria’s baby boy, Anthony Maxwell Roberts, aka Tony, right in the living room of their apartment.

Along with all the fun with little Tony, we’d also told the crew about our plans and why. They were concerned about me and how I was handling my problem.

We’d taken the christening blanket to the hospital so that Mark and Maria could open it. Then after lunch on Saturday, we’d taken a hike on the lake trail, the immature Eagle had shown up and visited with us. Then we’d enjoyed a tryst deep in the pine forest. I figured that I could survive the pine needles.

After having dinner with everyone in the crew except Maria, the crew had gone back to the hospital to see Maria and little Tony. While we were there, Mark and Maria had hit us with something. They’d asked us to be Tony’s godparents. They’d told us that they had talked with their parents about it and all of them had agreed with them. Without hesitation, Amy and I had accepted.

We’d made it back home on Sunday afternoon. And on Monday, I’d put the legal name change process in gear with a call to Chief Clah. 

At breakfast on Tuesday morning, I was quiet, and Amy picked up on it, so she asked, “Why so quiet?”

“Just thinking.”, I said.

“About what?”

“Yesterday, I was carefully going over the two books that we got at Ohio State.”

“And?”

“I had an aha moment.”

“Oh.”

“There were things in those two books that gave me an idea. Things that if you didn’t have those two books together and a good knowledge of integrated circuits, you wouldn’t see.”

“I’m not going to ask, because I know I won’t understand.”

“Good girl. And before I’m sure about this, I’m going to have to do some circuit design and maybe build something.”

“That’ll keep you out of trouble for a little while.”

“Maybe more than a little while. But, I need to talk with Dr. Joe about something.”

“What’s that?”, Amy asked.

“Who benefits from a new circuit design?”, I replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I haven’t signed an agreement with the university as to who benefits from any research that I do outside of the university. Like if I do the design and build work here at home, do they get any part of it. I understand that what I do at the university is there’s because they’re paying me for doing it.”

“If you did it away from the university it should be yours.”, Amy said.

“It should. But is it?”

“Maybe you need to talk to a lawyer that knows about those kinds of things.”

“I will if I need to.”, I said.

“So, you think that this could turn into something?”, Amy asked.

“That’s what I’ve got to figure out. And I think until I find out the legalities of this that I’m going to do everything here.”

“Where here?”

“I have all of my circuit design templates and drafting supplies here, and if I could find a small drafting table, I could sit out in the back courtyard and do my designing.”

“And my typing wouldn’t bother you if you’re out there.”

“It wouldn’t bother me anyway. I can tune out things when I’m concentrating. But first, I need to do some more reading.”

“Are you going into the university today?”

“I don’t think so.”, I said. “But I’ll call Dr. Joe to be sure nothing is going on. And then maybe run into town and see if I can find that drafting board.”

“Sounds good. Could you pick me up a couple of ribbons for the typewriter too.”

“Sure thing.”

I did call Dr. Joe, and as he said, “everything’s quiet on the western front.” But, he did remind me that our people from Los Alamos would be here at one on Thursday. I told Dr. Joe that I’d see him before one on Thursday unless I heard from him.

I then ran into downtown Albuquerque. My first stop was at the used furniture store to see if they had a small drafting table, and they didn’t. So, I went to the office supply store where we’d purchased the typewriter. I did find a portable drafting board with a sliding straightedge. And I did remember the ribbons for the typewriter.

On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store. I was hungry for something. I picked out two nice steaks, a couple of baking potatoes, and some nice looking sweet corn. I was hungry for a good steak, baked potato, and corn on the cob.

Amy was taking a break from her writing and saw me carry the paper grocery bags into the house and to the kitchen, and she asked, “You went grocery shopping too?”

“Uh huh.”, I said. “I had a taste for something.”

“What?”

“Steak, baked potato, and corn on the cob.”

“Sounds good. But to do it right, we need a grill.”

“Hmm. We do. It sounds like a trip to the hardware store.”

“After lunch.”

We did go to the hardware store and came back home with a grill, a bag of charcoal, charcoal lighter, and a bag of kiln-dried hickory wood. Plus, the necessary utensils. And some instructions from the saleswoman on how to cook using wood.

When we were back home, I looked at the answering machine, and the light was blinking. I rewound the tape, pressed play, and we heard, “Kai, this is Chief Clah. Give me a call at Window Rock.”

Amy was standing next to me and said, “Call him.”

And I replied, “Are you anxious, little girl?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

I pulled Chief Clah’s card out of my wallet and called his office in Window Rock. Once I got through the operator and his secretary, he answered the phone, “This is Chief Clah.”

“Chief Clah, this is Kai Nez. You called?”

“Hello, Kai. Yes, I called. Why didn’t you tell me that you knew Mr. Bylilly?”

“Oh, the editor of the Navajo Times. I don’t know. I guess I felt that it wasn’t important.”

“Yes, the editor of the paper. It wasn’t important. It was just a shock when he asked me to say hello to you for him.”

“His daughter was the first recipient of the Chief Todachine scholarship.”

“Oh. So that’s how you know him?”

“Yes. Him and the whole family.”

“He’s someone good to know.”

“Yes, he is.”

The reason that I called was to let you know that the legal notices will be in this Wednesday's paper and next Wednesday's paper.”

“That’s good. We’ll watch for them. So, when can we file the petitions?”

“A week after the last notice is published.”

“Good. That’ll be on August 8th.”

“Right, and the three of us have to go to the judge’s clerk’s office and file the petitions. And on that day, we’ll also schedule a day to appear before the judge.”

“We can do that.”

“What I’ll do, is once the petitions are ready, I’ll get them to you so that you and Ajie can look them over, and we can make any necessary corrections.”

“Good. Let me know when they’re ready, and I’ll stop by your office and pick them up.”

“I’ll do that, Kai.”

We set up the grill, not a big one, and not a small one, but one big enough to be able to cook for a few guests. Then for dinner, Amy cooked the potatoes and corn in the kitchen, and I did the steaks out in the backyard just beyond the courtyard gate. I didn’t want to mess up the tile floor in the courtyard. And, if I do say so myself, my first try at cooking on a grill using wood was successful. The steaks were done medium rare, Amy had the baked potatoes just perfect, and the sweet corn was great. All two ears of it and I could have eaten a third.

On Wednesday, I started putting my thoughts on paper, as in a block diagram and then a schematic diagram. The more I worked, the more I saw something forming. Something interesting. Is this going to go where I think it’s going? … I guess time will tell.

I’ll tell you this. This circuit is entirely different than the two circuits in the books from Ohio State. But, what this one circuit will do is what it would take those two circuits with other components to do.

Thursday, I went into the university for the meeting with our people from Los Alamos. So, of course, I was dressed for a meeting, the long skirt that Amy had given me for my birthday, a fancy blouse, wrap moccasins, and some silver jewelry. I’d put my hair into a ponytail with a fancy piece at the top.

I walked into the office at a little after eleven, and Dr. Joe was there. He looked at me, smiled, and said, “Glad you could make it, Miss Nez.”

“And why wouldn’t I, Dr. Oshie?”, I replied.

“I don’t know. It was just something to say.”

I shook my head and asked, “So how’s the baby?”

“Doing very well.”, Dr. Joe said. “And we’re happy that he’s sleeping through the night. You and Amy still looking at adopting?”

“Yeah. We just published the legal stuff in the Navajo Times for our name change.”

“So, it’s going to be officially, Kai Nez.”

“Yes. And, Ajie Nez.”

“How long is it going to be until it’s official?”

“I figure at least a month.”

“And then you can adopt?”, Dr. Joe asked.

I replied, “Then we can file the papers to indicate that we’re interested in adopting. And I feel that it’s going to be almost like going through a security background check, but the forms are worse than what we filled out for Los Alamos.

“They want your life history. They want to know why you want to adopt. They want your work history. They want a list of references from your family, your school friend, your teachers, the people you work with, and more.”

“Can’t blame them. Can you?”, Dr. Joe said. “They’re entrusting a child to you.”

“No, I can’t blame them.”, I said. “Now, let me ask you a question on a different subject.”

“Ask away.”

“How do you protect a new circuit design?”

“Well, it’s intellectual property.”, Dr. Joe said.

“Yeah.”, I replied.

“If you worked on it here at the university while you were working for the university, it belongs to them.”

“Yeah. I know that. But, if I didn’t work on it here. Then it’s mine. Right?”

“Yes. Are you working on something?”

“Yeah. Something for my doctorate. That might be brand new. And I’d like to protect my circuit.”

“Interesting. I think that you need to find a lawyer to talk to.”

“I was thinking along those lines. Don’t know one do you?”

“Sorry. No. Want to get lunch before the meeting?”, Dr. Joe asked.

Just before one in the afternoon, after lunch in the faculty dining room, Dr. Joe and I walked into the Dean’s office. Sara looked up and said, “Hello, Kai, Dr. Oshie. They’re all back in the conference room. Go on back.”

“Thanks, Sara.”, I said.

We walked back to the conference room, Dr. Joe knocked, and we heard a, “Come.”

As we walked in I was surprised to see Dr. Millman, who is one of the assistant directors of the Los Alamos National Laboratory, along with Dr. Höllmann, the head of research for the Laboratory, and Dr. Fontheim, who is a researcher at the Laboratory and also the liaison between the university and the Laboratory. And of course, Dean Rutherford was also here.

Something happened that had never happened before, they all stood as Dr. Joe and I entered the room. Dr. Millman said, “Miss Nez and Dr. Oshie, it’s good to see you again.”

I smiled, and Dr. Joe said, “It’s nice seeing you too, sir.”

Dr. Joe and I walked over to the table and took two of the empty seats. Then as everyone sat, Dr. Millman said, “Miss Nez. Dr. Oshie. I came along today to fill you in on something. The people that you made that last device for are very pleased with it. They wanted me to give you their gratitude for an excellent job. The device and its copies have been put to use at various secure places, and the results were excellent.”

I smiled and said, “So there were some bugs in some of our embassies?”

Dr. Millman gave me a stern look and said, “Young lady, you knew. How?”

“Dr. Millman, it wasn’t hard to figure it out with the amount of secrecy that surrounded this project and the initials ‘S.Y.’ on a few things.”

“The initials ‘S.Y.’, Miss Nez. What do those stand for?”

“Dr. Millman, sir, you know the meaning of those initials as well as I do.”, I said. “They indicate the Diplomatic Security Service of the State Department.”

“Miss Nez, aren’t there any secrets from you?”, Dr. Millman asked.

“I don’t know, sir. But, I feel that you do have a few.

“And I also understand that you have a new project for us.”

“Yes, we do, Miss Nez.”, Dr. Millman said. “And, Dr. Fontheim, the floor is yours.”

“Thank you.”, Dr. Fontheim said. “We have a request for a special circuit, and we’d like to have you do it for us. We are currently swamped by projects, and could use your help.”

“Is it as secret like the last one?”, Dr. Joe asked.

“Not quite. But, we need to keep it under wraps. All I can tell you is, it’s for the next NASA project after Apollo.”

“Oh.”, I said. “Skylab.”

The three gentlemen from Los Alamos looked at each other, then at me, and Dr. Millman said, “I should have figured that you’d know that, Miss Nez.”

“It’s been in some of the technical journals.”, I said.

“Well.”, Dr. Fontheim said as he took three folders out of his briefcase and set them in front of us. “Here’s the initial proposal. Sign the nondisclosure agreement on the front, then read over the proposal.”

The three of us signed the agreement, then read over the proposal. After I read it, I looked at Dr. Joe. It took him another minute to finish it, then I asked, “What do you think, Dr. Joe?”

“I think it’s doable.”, Dr. Joe replied.

“So, do I. Dean Rutherford, we don’t see a problem with it.”

The Dean then signed the agreement. And Dr. Fontheim told us that everything that we’d need would be delivered by the end of next week.

As we were saying so long to the Los Alamos people, Dr. Fontheim said, “Miss Nez, it does sound like you do a lot of reading.”

“I do, sir.”, I said. “But it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with everything.”

“You may need to concentrate on one area.”

“I’ve begun to do that.”

“What are you concentrating on?”

“I’ve put integrated circuits at the top of the list.”, I said.

“That’s a broad subject in its own right.”, Dr. Fontheim said.

“It is. And I may have to concentrate on one area of that sometime in the future.”

“That may be a good idea.

After the Los Alamos people had left us, I said, “Dean, can I have a minute?”

“Of course, Miss Nez.”, Dean Rutherford said.

“Dr. Joe already knows most of this. But, Amy and I are thinking of adopting a Navajo child.”

“That’s good to hear, Miss Nez.”

“And we’re both going to change our names legally.”

“Ah. Why?”

“So, the baby has a Navajo last name.”

“Isn’t Nez a Navajo name.”

“But, Young isn’t.”

“Young?”, Dean Rutherford asked.

“My legal last name.”, I replied.

“That’s right. I have a problem remembering that you are who you are.”

“Is that a good thing, Dean?”

“That’s a very good thing, Miss Nez. And your cousin, or wife, is she also changing her name?”

“Yes, to Ajie Nez. That name was given to her by the tribal elders, and most of the Nation knows her by it.”

“Well. Good luck, Miss Nez.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Then as Dr. Joe and I walked back into our office, I asked, “What did you think of the project?”

“Not the hardest thing that they’ve thrown at us.”

“No, it’s not. But, I’m not even going to think much about it until I see what they send us.”

“Good idea.”

“And don’t forget we have some company starting next Thursday for a week. Then we’re going back home the weekend of the eleventh. But, I’ll try to come in once they deliver everything to have a look at it and lock it up.”

“You should wait until you’re back in town. Besides Mary and I are flying home next Monday for a week.”, Dr. Joe said.

“Kind of sudden?”, I said.

“Yeah. Mary’s grandmother isn’t doing well.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I wish I could take some of your spiritual power home with me.”

“I wish you could too. But, you have a cousin that is a two spirit person, don’t you?”

“Yes, but what I’ve heard from my aunt, you have special powers.”, Dr. Joe said. “Something to do with the wolf.”

“I guess. Naainish has told me that the power of the wolf allows me to help those who are dying and not accepting their passing, and it allows me to help those who are ill get better. But, I can’t do this for everyone. I can only do it for certain people, like relatives, close friends, and an occasional stranger.

“But, I will sit and meditate to the Great Spirit. What’s her name?”, I asked.

“Mary is named for her grandmother. Her grandmother’s name is Meegwun Kenosha.”

“Tell Mary that we’re sorry to hear about her grandmother.”

“I will, Kai. And we’ll see you when you’re back in town.”

“May the Great Spirit be with you on your trip home.”

“Thanks, Kai.”

“I’m going to stop back at the Dean’s office on my way home and tell him what I’m doing.”, I said.

“Good idea. They already know my plans.”, Dr. Joe said.

“I figured they did. Take care. Hágoónee', Azee'ííl'íní Joe.” - (See you later, Doctor Joe.)”

“See you later, Dr. Kai.”

I frowned at him, shook my head, and walked out of the door. I did stop at the Dean’s office and told the Dean what my plans were for the next two weeks. He was happy that I told him. And he was pleased when I told him to call me, and I’d come in when the project supplies arrived, have a look at them, and lock them up in the fireproof file cabinet.

On the way home, I stopped by the drug store that was close to the apartment where we used to live and picked up a copy of the Wednesday Navajo Times. I know we get one delivered by mail, but it wouldn’t arrive until Friday.

When I was home, I knew that Amy wouldn’t be there. She was working the four to midnight shift tonight. So, I fixed myself a light dinner. As I ate, I looked through the Navajo Times for the legal notices. When I found them, I almost needed a magnifying glass to read them. They used a small typeface for all of them. And I found ours, mine simply said, ‘Name change: Thomas Bly Young to Kai Nez.’, and Amy’s said, Name change: Amylin Elizabeth Young to Ajie Nez.’ and they were well buried in among many other legal notices. And they were in Navajo. Interesting.

After I finished eating, I went out to the hogan. I lit four of the lanterns hanging from the ceiling. Then I laid a fire in the fire pit and lit that.

I took one of the rugs down off of the wall and placed it on the floor by the fire pit. Then I sat cross-legged on the rug. I looked at the fire, and I could feel the spirit of the fire. I started a quiet chant as I thought of Mary Oshie’s grandmother, Meegwun Kenosha. I wish Amy was here.

I sat in the hogan for maybe thirty minutes, then I cleaned it up, and went into the house. I found something to make Amy a light dinner.

At about twelve-thirty, I heard one of the garage doors open, so I knew Amy was home. When she walked in, she looked beat, and she said, “That was one ugly shift.”

“That bad?”, I asked.

“No, that slow. We had very little to do. It was like everyone stayed home tonight and didn’t get hurt.”

“That does make it hard.”

“It sure does. Time dragged.”

I sat down with her as she ate dinner, and I told her about Mary Oshie’s grandmother and what I’d done when I was home.

Amy asked, “Do you think it did any good?”

“It’s hard to say.”, I said. “I guess we’ll find out when Dr. Joe gets back.”

“Are we still going to the resort early tomorrow.”

“Yes, unless you have some things to do.”

We’d decided that we were going up to the resort early on Friday morning, so right after breakfast, we headed north. As we pulled up to my aunt and uncle's house, there was a pickup truck also there — Naainish’s pickup truck. As I parked the car, I said, “I don’t like this. Something’s wrong.”

“Just because Naainish is here doesn’t mean anything is wrong.”, Amy said.

“I hope you’re right.”

I grabbed the camera case, and we walked into the house. Naainish was sitting with my aunt and uncle in the kitchen. The three of them looked at us, and my Aunt Ruth, as she pushed the newspaper towards us, said, “Would you care to tell us what this is about?”

My reply was, “Yá'át'ééh t'áá ájíltso. Nizhonigó íiná aadóó hozhónahasdlíí. - (Hello everyone. It is good, and all is harmony around us.)”

“Is it.”

“Yes, it is.”

Then pointing at the newspaper, my aunt said, “So, what’s this?”

“Is that Wednesday’s Navajo Times?”, I asked.

“Yes, it is.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. What’s this about.”

“Aunt Ruth, you know that we're talking about adopting. Right?”

“Of course. But what does that have to do with changing your names?”

“One of the things that we’ve learned is that when you adopt a child, the child takes your legal last name. What’s our legal last name?”

“Ah … Young.”

“Yes, does that sound like a Navajo last name?”

“No.”

“Both Amy and I feel that it’s essential to try to keep the child’s Navajo heritage alive for them, so we thought that they should have a Navajo last name. The tribal elders gave both Amy and me our Navajo names. We talked it over and decided that it was what we both wanted to do. We spoke with our parents, that’s why we went back home, and both sets of our parents agreed with our idea.

“So, all we’re doing is making the names given to us by the tribal elders official.”

“It is good.”, Naainish said.

“I guess it is.”, my Aunt Ruth said.

“See I told you that they would have a good reason.”, Uncle Paul said. “Wait a minute. Kai, you said that the tribal elders gave you the name Kai. I gave you that name.”

“Of course you did. You’re a tribal elder. Aren’t you? You’re a member of the tribe and your old.”

“Kai!”

My aunt started laughing. But Naainish didn’t even crack a smile. I looked at Naainish and asked, “Naainish, something is wrong. What?”

“You’d better sit down, Kai. You too Ajie.”, Naainish said.

Ajie and I looked at each other, then took seats at the kitchen table. Then I said, “Naainish, I felt bad things when we pulled up to the house. What’s wrong?”

I could tell that Naainish was having trouble telling us, but finally, he said, “I need the two of you to go to Taos with me.”

“Why?”, I asked.

He took a deep breath and said, “My Uncle Sike is in the hospital.” (Sike Yazzie is the silversmith in Taos).

I felt the blood drain from my face as I said, “Oh dear Great Spirit, no. Please, no.”

“I’m afraid so, Kai. Like the governor of the Taos Pueblo, he’s had a stroke. And the doctors say that he may only have hours.”

“Why didn’t you say so earlier. Let’s go.”

As the three of us got up, Ajie said, “I’ll drive.”

“No, I will.”, I said.

“No, you won’t! You’re in no shape to drive.”

As Amy drove us to Taos, I thought about all the times that we’d had with Mr. Yazzie. He’s a wonderful friend. We’d found my grandfather’s maker’s mark in the secret compartment of the took box. Then we’d gone to a gathering that is used by the tribes to replace Thanksgiving. And Mr. Yazzie, as a payback for me paying what I thought something was worth instead of the discounted price that he’d quoted me, had me arrested. Of course, it was a prank. The police officers were friends of his. And once we settled up, the officers released me.

It wasn’t long until we were pulling up to the Holy Cross Hospital in Taos. Ajie asked, “Naainish, why didn’t they send him to Albuquerque?”

“Ajie.”, Naainish said. “I don’t know.”

As we parked, I said, “This is going to be hard. I don’t know if I can do this.”

I felt Naainish’s hand on my shoulder as he said, “Kai, he’s asked for you. And you know that you can help him. Even though he and his wife are Catholic, they are still old school Navajo in many ways and believe in the spirits. You and Ajie are special to him.”

I turned, looked at Ajie, and said, “Honey. Be by my side for this.”

“Sweetheart, where else would I be.”, Ajie replied.

With a deep sigh, I said, “Okay, let’s do this.”

The three of us got out of the car and walked into the hospital. We stopped in a visitor's waiting room, and there were six or eight people there. The only one that I recognized was Mr. Yazzie’s wife, Hozhona, who I’d just met for the first time at our open house.

(Everything from here on is in Navajo.)

Ajie and I walked over to Mrs. Yazzie. She reached her hand out to me, I took it in mine, and said in Navajo, “Mrs. Yazzie, we’re so sorry to hear about Sike.”

“Miss Nez.”, Mrs. Yazzie said. “Having you here will help Sike.”

“And I hope it helps you too. And it’s just Kai.”

“It will, Kai. Naainish has told us how special you are.”

“I need to see Sike.”

“He’s unresponsive and might not know that you’re here.”

“He will know.”

Ajie, Naainish, and I walked with Mr. Yazzie to his room. As we walked into the room, a nurse was there. She looked at us and was going to say something. But Ajie whispered something to her. And she stepped away from the bed. I said, “Hozhona, go to the other side of the bed and take Sike’s hand.”

As she walked over to the other side of the bed, Ajie, Naainish, and I walked over to the bed. I picked up Sike’s hand in both of my hands. He opened his eyes, looked at me, looked at Ajie, then at Naainish, and then he smiled.

“Hello, Sike.”, I said.

With the same smile, Mr. Yazzie weakly said, "Has my favorite customers come to pull a fast one on me?”

“Not this time, Sike. We’ve just come to visit you.”

“And help me pass on.”

Trying to hold back tears, I said, “If it’s that time old friend, yes.”

I looked at Hozhona and said, “Hozhona is here too.”

Mr. Yazzie looked at his wife, smiled, and closed his eyes. And I felt his spirit leave him. I heard Naainish start to chant just as a heart monitor went into alarm. I saw Ajie reach over and turn it off. Then she and I joined Naainish in the chant. I looked at Hozhona, and you could see the sadness on her face, but no tears.

I was having a real problem holding back the tears. This man had been a wonderful friend since the first time we met him.

We finished the chant, and I walked over to Hozhona. I put my arm around her shoulder and said, “Hozhona, he is at peace. Let’s go and join the others.”

Hozhona looked at me and said, “Thank you so much for being here, Kai.”

“I’m glad I could be here for him and you.”

“He thought the world of you and Ajie.”

“And we thought the world of him.”

(We’re back to English.)

I saw the nurse say something to Ajie, and I heard Ajie say, “Yes, he’s gone.”

The four of us walked back to the waiting room. And Mrs. Yazzie said to everyone, “He’s gone.”

I saw the youngest girl there, who I took to be a teenager, burst into tears. I walked over to her, took her hand in mine, and led her over to a couch. We sat, I took both of her hands in mine, and said, “I’m Kai Nez, and I’m a friend of Sikes’. And I’m sharing your sorrow.”

“I loved my grandfather so much.”, the girl sobbed.

“I know you did. We all loved your grandfather. He was special to all of us. And we will miss him.”

We looked at each other, and I saw the tears slow, then stop. Then she asked, “I’m very sad, but I feel at ease too. Why?”

Naainish had overheard this and said, “Johona, Kai Nez, like I’ve said before, is a Nádleeh. A special Nádleeh, she also has the power of the wolf, and that lets her help those that are passing on. And she can also help the relatives of those passing.”

“Naainish.”, Johona said. “You know I don’t believe in those things.”

“Johona.”, I said. “Can you still not believe in these things after what you and I just had.”

“I … I … I don’t know. Somehow sitting here with you has made it easier for me to accept Grandpa Yazzie’s death.”

“Johona, always keep good thoughts of your grandpa. And you will continue to be happy as you remember him.”

“You know, Miss Nez. I’ll do that.”

“I’m glad.”

As I stood up, I said to everyone, “We need to go, but I want to leave you with something, and it’s called Life Must Go On.

“Grieve for me, for I would grieve for you.
Then brush away the sorrow and the tears
Life is not over, but begins anew,
With courage, you must greet the coming years.
To live forever in the past is wrong;
It can only cause you misery and pain.
Dwell not on memories overlong,
With others, you must share and care again.
Reach out and comfort those who comfort you;
Recall the years, but only for a while.
Nurse not your loneliness, but live again.
Forget not. Remember with a smile.”

With that, Ajie, Naainish, and I walked out of the waiting room. As the door closed behind us, I leaned against it, closed my eyes, and just let myself go. I wanted to cry but didn’t. I heard Ajie say, “Honey, are you all right?”

“I will be.”, I said. “It’s that this sort of thing just takes it all out of me.”

“I understand.”

“Kai Nez.”, I heard Naainish say. “Thank you for coming. You helped my uncle and our family. It’s something that I wish I could do, but I can’t.”

“Naainish.”, I said. “In reality, I’m glad that I was here. If I had learned of Sike’s passing after it had happened. I would have been very sad that I hadn't been with him to help him and his family.

“Naainish, how old was he?”

“Eighty-eight. He was the oldest and last of three brothers and a sister,”

“He didn’t look that old.”

I was finally able to walk out of the hospital and to the car, but I let Ajie drive us back to the resort. As we walked into my aunt and uncle’s house, my aunt looked at me and said, “He passed. Didn’t he?”

I just said, “Sadly, yes.”

“Do you still want to do the barbecue tonight?”, my Uncle Paul asked.

“I think.", I said. "But, I do want to spend some time soaking.”

“Would a massage help, too?”, my aunt asked.

“It sure would.”, I said.

“I’ll see what I can set up for you and Ajie. Would you like something to eat first?”

I looked at Ajie, and she shook her head no. So, I said, “I think we’ll pass and eat at the barbecue.”

“There goes the food bill.”, my uncle said.

“Not funny, Uncle Paul.”, I said.

“Sorry, Kai.”

Ajie and I went and changed into our bathing suits, and when we came back out, my aunt said, “You both have massages scheduled at three. And, Kai, yours is with Amber.”

“Good, but don’t you mean, Ahiga?”

“Yes, I forget that you know her Navajo name. And she remembers you too.”

Ajie and I spent almost an hour soaking in one of the hot springs. When we got out, we looked like prunes, and we kidded each other about it. The massage relaxed me so much that I fell asleep. After Ahiga woke me up and I got a shower in, I met up with Ajie in the spa’s waiting room. And we headed back to the house.

Back at the house, the door was locked, so we knew my aunt and uncle were probably at the barbecue already. So we went into the house and to our room and changed to our usual barbecue clothes. Ajie outdid me in the jewelry. She even wore her new squash blossom necklace. Both of us wore our braided leather headbands with the Eagle feather.

We headed to the area where the barbecue is held, and we ended up walking with two of the guests. Two women. One of the women asked, “Girls are you Indians?”

“Yes, were members of the Navajo Nation.”, I replied.

“Your costumes are so pretty.”

“Thank you. But we don’t call them costumes. They’re what we normally wear, only fancier.”

“Oh. So, you wear something like this every day?”

“Most every day, but usually not this fancy and not with all the jewelry.”

“That’s interesting.”, the second woman said. “Are you part of the show tonight.”

“Show?”, Ajie replied. “There’s a barbecue, and there will be some native musicians and dancers. But it’s not a show. It’s to share some of our heritage with the guests of the resort.”

“That could be an interesting learning experience.”

“How’s that?”

“We both teach high school American history back east, and it’s our first time out here. And we’re beginning to learn things about the so-called wild west. And we'd like to learn more.”

“Maybe sit down and talk to some of the native people and learn the truth of how they'd been treated.”, I said.

“You sound like you might know something about it.”, the first woman said.

“Possibly.”

“Would you be interested in talking to us?”

“I think we might. But it would be better if you talked to someone who has lived out here all of their life.”

“Oh, you haven't lived out here all of your lives?”

“We only move out here a short while ago from Ohio to work on our graduate degrees at the University of New Mexico.”

“Where did you go to school in Ohio?”, the first woman asked.

“Ohio State.”, I replied.

“Really!”

“Yes, why?”

“It’s old home week, we both graduated from Ohio State in 1960.”, the second woman said.

“We were in the class of ‘67.”, I said. “I’m Kai Nez, and this is my cousin Ajie Nez.”

“I’m Donna Reed, no relation, and this is Mary Price. And we’re pleased to meet you.”

“And we’re pleased to meet you too.”

“So, we could talk?”

“We have a little while before we go work.”

“You work here as well as going to school?”

“Well, not so much work. My aunt and uncle run the resort, so we visit regularly, and my uncle put us to work doing the introductions.”

“Introductions?”, Donna Reed asked.

“We usually have a few special guests show up.”, I replied.

“Like who?”

I looked around and then said, “Well, I see Chief Kinlicheeny, the chief of the Navajo Nation, is here. And, … ”

“Wait.”, Mary Price said. “Did you say the Chief of the Navajo Nation?”

“Yes, he knows where the good food is and is a regular.”

“Who else?”

I looked around again and said, “Chief Clah, he’s the War Chief of the Nation. And I see a couple of Clan Chiefs here too.”

“War Chief?”

“It’s a title, and he’s really the Attorney General of the Nation. And Chief Kinlicheeny is really the President of the Nation.”

“So the Navajo Nation is like a country?”, Donna asked.

“Yes, it’s a country within a country.”, I replied. “Only with the one country under the thumb of the other.”

“You sound a little disenchanted.”

“You could say that. After coming out here and seeing the situation that a lot of the people are in and then learning the cause, it has us unhappy with the education system and not telling the truth.”

“Wow! It sounds like we opened a can of worms.”, Mary said.

“Maybe. I’d like to see all the textbooks corrected to show the truth.”

“It’s that bad?”

“What do you know about the Wampanoag Tribe of the east coast?”, Ajie asked.

“Only that they were the native people who befriended the people at the Plymouth Colony.”

“Partly right. I have a grandmother who was a Wampanoag Indian. And we researched the people, and we found out how bad the European people treated them. Among other things, they stole their lands and brought deadly diseases to them.”

“Interesting. But what about out here?”

“Most of the history of the Navajo people is a spoken history. Luckily more and more people are putting their knowledge on paper or tape-recording it. You do need to talk to someone who’s lived out here all their lives. But, don’t get Kai started on Kit Carson.”

“Kit Carson? We were in Taos a couple of days ago and stopped at his museum. And there was no mention of anything to do with the native people other than his wife.”

“I guess keeping it quiet is easier than lying about it.”, I said.

“It was bad?”, Donna asked.

“Very bad. You’ve heard of the ‘Trail of Tears’?”

“Of course. It was the forced removal of many Indians of various tribes, from their homelands to so-called Indian lands. And many died.”

“Yes, 60,000 people and about 13,000 of those died. Well, the Navajo have their ‘Long Walk’ which was about the same thing, over 10,000 Navajos and Mescalero Apaches were forced from their homes. There were also deaths of men, women, and children on the trail and at the so-called reservation where they were forced to stay for four years. Stragglers on the trail were even shot and left behind. And this war against the People was led by Kit Carson. Kit Carson is no friend of the Navajo. And the museum in Taos tells nothing of the truth. Maybe one day, the truth will be told.”

“I warned you not to get her started.”, Ajie said.

“I guess.”, Donna said. “She seems to be knowledgeable on the subject.”

“She is. She reads a lot and listens to the people.”

Just then, I saw my uncle waving at me, and I said, “You’ll have to excuse us, it’s time for the introductions and to eat.”

“Of course,” Mary said. “Can we get together after the barbecue?”

“We like to watch the sunset from the cliff. Then we like to sit and meditate at the bonfire after sunset. If you want to meet us at the bonfire, and we may be able to introduce to someone to talk to.”

“We’ll do that.”

We left the two ladies and walked to where my uncle was. And my uncle said, “It’s about time, you two.”

“Sorry, Uncle Paul, we were in the middle of an interesting discussion with a couple of guests.”

“Okay. Forgiven this time.” Then as he handed me a list of the special guests to be introduced, he said, “Here’s your list for tonight.”

I looked over the list, picked up the microphone, and started my introductions with, “Yá'át'ééh! Nizhonigó íiná aadóó hozhónahasdlíí.”

Then I said, “For those of you that don’t speak Navajo, I just said, ‘Hello! It is good, and all is harmony around us.’ Which is an old Navajo greeting.”

Then I went on to introduce the special guests that were here. And finally, I introduced Naainish to give the prayer. Then we ate. After we ate, we wandered around, talked with people, and watched the dancers.

While we were watching the dancers, Dibe spotted us. (Dibe is the girl who received the first scholarship.) She ran up to us, and we received hugs, then she said, “Are you coming to the competition on the fourth?”

“We didn’t know there was one. Where is it?”, I asked.

“In Santa Fe.”

“We’ll try to make it.”

Dibe said, “I hope you can. See you later.” And she ran off.

Ajie looked at me and said, “You’re planning something.”

“Of course I am.”, I said. “Bill and Bridget will be here. Bring them up here for the barbecue, spend the night, go to the dance competition on Saturday, and maybe stay Saturday night.”

Ajie smiled and said, “I like your thinking.”

“I’ll check with Aunt Ruth."

Then just before sunset, we headed towards the cliff trail, and along with a few guests, we hiked up the trail to the clifftop.

At the top, I was amazed by the number of people that were up here. Ajie and I snuck off to where the little tree is, and it was looking good and like it has grown. We stood there and watched the sunset, and it was full of golds, yellows, and reds.

After the Sun had set, we headed back to the trail that led to the resort. All but a few people who had been up here had already gone back down the trail. But we saw that the two ladies that we’d talked to earlier were still up here. We walked up to them, and I said, “Hello, Donna and Mary.”

“Oh, hello. There you are.”, Donna said. “We thought that we’d find you up here. But, couldn’t find you.”

“There were too many people up here, so we went to a private place that we know of.”

“It must be nice to know your way around here.”

“It helps.”

“Where’s this bonfire?”

Since we were standing at the top of the trail, and you could see the resort’s hotel, I pointed and said, “Right there.”

“Oh. Can’t miss that.”, Mary said. “And that’s where you meditate.”

“One of the places.”, Ajie said. “The area of the resort is sacred to the native people, and we can feel the spirits many places.”

We walked down the trail together and met up with my aunt and uncle. My aunt had a rug for us. And we introduced Donna and Mary to my aunt and uncle.

Then I asked, “Aunt Ruth, do you know of anyone that knows the history of the Navajo people that Donna and Mary could talk to. They’re high school history teachers, and we got talking about the inaccuracies in textbooks about the native people.”

“Your Aunt Ginny would be good if they don’t mind getting their ears talked off.”, Aunt Ruth said.

“Where could we find your Aunt Ginny?”, Donna asked.

“In Window Rock, Arizona. She works for the Navajo Nation Council. And Window Rock is the capital of the Navajo Nation.”

“You four work this out, we’re going to meditate.”, I said.

As she handed me the rug, my Aunt Ruth said, “Okay, honey. Go meditate.”

I took the rug, and Ajie and I walked over to where we usually sit. I spread the rug out, and Ajie and I sat. I looked to where my aunt and uncle were, and I also saw Naainish and the two women. I started concentrating on the fire and heard Naainish start a chant. I joined him, and then Ajie joined us.

I didn’t have the vision of the Indian maiden, wolf, and Eagle this time. But I was feeling in harmony with everything.

When we finished the chant, Ajie and I got up, I picked up the rug, and we walked together to where everyone was standing. As we walked up, one of the women, Donna, said, “Girls, that was very interesting. So you feel the spirits of the fire?”

“Yes, and sometimes have a vision.”, Ajie said.

“Kai, we’re taking Donna and Mary to the hotel and calling Ginny to see if she has time to see them on Monday morning.”

“Donna and Mary, you could learn a lot from my Aunt Ginny. And if you do, I hope you put it to good use”, I said.

“Kai, even what you told us about Kit Carson will be put to use.”

“I’m glad. Hopefully, we’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“We’re up early. So you might.”, Mary said.

“We’re up early, too, and we usually go up on the cliff to watch the Sunrise and hopefully see wolves.”

“Wolves!?”

“Yes, they’re one of my spirits.”

“What time is Sunrise?”

“A little after six.”

“You might see us. So, don’t hide this time.”

“We won’t.”, Ajie said.

After the two women and my aunt and uncle had walked towards the hotel, Naainish walked up to us and said, “Both of you are in hózhó - (in balance and beauty with the world) aren’t you?”

“Yes, Naainish. We are, and it surprises me after what’s happened today.”

“Kai, you handled today better than I thought you would. It took courage to know the person that you were helping as well as you did.”

“My heart was breaking through the whole ordeal. And I’m going to really miss him.”

“Kai, you aren’t the only one that will miss my Uncle Sike.”

“I know. His one granddaughter was really distraught.”

“She learned somethings from you today. She is of the new Navajo who doesn’t believe in the old ways, but today she may have seen her error.”

“And from me who only found it a short time ago.”

“As she should have.”

Naainish walked with us to the house, and as we were saying hágoónee' - (see you later), he said, “My Uncle Sike funeral will be on Tuesday in Taos. Can you make it?”

“We’ll be there.”, I said. “Let us know when and where?