The Sparklers
By
Pamela
The Finch High School Sparklers is one of the best girls cheerleading/dance teams in the state. Ten girls, ten superb, athletic, well-coordinated dancers that put on a precision show at sporting events and other high-school functions. Just a month before they’re to head to the yearly state-wide competition that they have almost won a couple of times, but not yet, one of their dancers, Maria and her family are deported, leaving just nine girls on the team. Ten members are required for the competition. The Sparklers either find a replacement for Maria or they’ll have to forfeit.
Joey Lowen has long had a crush on pretty Jenny Callahan, one of the best dancers on the Sparklers. Joey never misses a chance to watch Jenny dance and he’s been determined for many weeks to get the nerve to ask her out on a date. This is made doubly difficult because he knows that Jenny has been going steady with Teddy Silver for as long as anyone can remember. But Joey has been observing Jenny and Teddy from a far and has seen lots of evidence that they are on their last legs as a couple. Happily, he sees himself having much more in common with Jenny than Teddy does. One of the main differences being that he likes to watch her dance, while Teddy, on the football team, never seems to have any interest in watching the Sparklers. He never bothers to at least take a look at Jenny performing the amazing moves that she does. Another reason why Jenny should certainly prefer him to Teddy, is that he loves to dance himself. Over the many hours he’s observed Jenny he’s managed to develop a pretty good knowledge of the steps, and he loves to practice them in his bedroom while imagining that Jenny secretly admires him. The only time that Joey has talked to Jenny was when he happened to be walking the same direction in the hallway with her, and he said, “The Sparklers are so great to watch!”
Jenny smiled at him and said, “Thanks. We work very hard at it.”
“The dance steps seem so difficult.”
“They aren’t easy. It takes a lot of practice.”
“Don’t laugh at me, but I sometimes try to imitate them on my own. I get all tangled up.”
Jenny laughed, “I was the same way, until I got enough practice.”
Jenny said goodbye and Joey played their conversation over and over again in his mind, trying to see if there were any deeper meanings he ought to take from it.
As it so happens, Joey’s mom, Isabel, is vice-president of the PTA and has been enlisted in helping the Sparklers solve their problem of finding a tenth girl for the team. With the date of the statewide contest looming, Isabel organizes a luncheon with several moms of the girls on the team. Among them is Jenny’s mom, Sara, who Isabel knows pretty well even if they haven’t been actual friends. Sara is a loan officer at the regional bank, and in fact, Isabel and her husband, Lenny, have an application for a critical business loan that is pending on her desk. The purpose of the loan is to put their family business on solid footing so that they can survive and even expand. Without the loan, they are in danger of filing for bankruptcy. Before the luncheon, Isabel asks Sara for news on the loan and she is non-committal.
“You know how these things are, Isabel. They take forever,” Sara says. Isabel feels more than a little frustrated. There is clearly some hesitancy to just approve the loan. Something is amiss with Sara.
Due to the impending demise of the Sparklers, the mood around the table at the luncheon is grim. “After so much hard work, the girls will miss out on their chance for glory,” Sara says. “It’s really terrible.”
“We’ve asked every girl at the school to join the team and no one wants to. Now, we’ve run out of ideas,” Betty says, the school guidance counselor whose daughter Cathy is one of the strongest girls on the team.
“I think we’re going to have to forfeit,” Florence says. Her daughter, Amy is a close friend of Cathy.
Sara says with what seems to Isabel to be a special glance at her, “Do the rules say that boys can’t be on the team?”
Betty laughs and says, “I don’t think there’s any problem with boys being on the team, other than the fact that most of the costumes are dresses and leotards. One of the rules is that all the costumes have to match.”
“Why are you asking?” Isabel says nervously.
“Well, maybe there’s a boy in the school who wouldn’t mind dressing the part of one of the Sparklers for a month, assuming he can learn the dance routines in the next few weeks,” Sara says.
The women laugh. “How would we ever find such a boy?” Betty says.
Sara, staring directly at Isabel says, “Jenny was telling me not long ago that Isabel’s son Joey loves watching the Sparklers dance and that he has been trying some of the steps on his own.”
Isabel is certain that Sara winks at her just as she finishes the sentence. Is this a signal? Is she saying that Joey should volunteer to join the Sparklers until the championship, and if he does she’ll approve the loan? Could she possibly be interpreting this correctly?
“Sara, are you suggesting that Joey might be willing to join the Sparklers?”
“Oh, not at all, Isabel. I have no way of knowing if he would be willing or not. Perhaps you know? What do you think?”
“I’ll concede that he loves to dance, but if that dancing extends to being a Sparkler, I have no idea. My guess is, like any boy his age, he’d be mortified to join a girl’s dance team.”
Now Sara’s gaze fixates intensely into Isabel’s eyes until Isabel has to turn away. “Maybe you could have some influence with him?”
There is a tense moment at the table as the women can see the truth of what Sara is saying. In essence: “Will you, Isabel, sacrifice your son for the benefit of the Sparklers?” Each of the women except Isabel are thinking, “Thank God it’s not my son that we’re discussing.” Isabel, on the other hand is wondering if this is a quid pro quo that Sara wants in order to approve the loan.
Not wanting to burn her bridges, Isabel says, “I’ll talk to him. It might be a difficult conversation. I’ll have to first clear it with his dad.”
“Very understandable,” Sara says, with a slight smile. “Of course, one nice thing about Joey, is that among the boys at school, he should have an easier time pretending he’s a girl.”
“Why’s that?” Isabel says, surprised.
“Just that he doesn’t have broad shoulders. They’re fairly narrow, like a girl’s, and his face is more rounded then most boys.”
Isabel feels her face get hot. She would love to take a swing at Sara; teach her a thing or two about insulting her son. She can see that despite how nice Jenny is reputed to be, her mother Sara’s eyes are steely and cruel. Yes, indeed, Sara is going to exact a high price for the loan.
***
That night after dinner, while Joey is upstairs in his bedroom doing his homework, Isabel and her husband Lenny are cleaning up the dishes. “I saw Sara today,” Isabel says.
“Any news about the loan?”
“Not directly, but, if I’m reading her correctly, she might be willing to approve the loan if we do something for her.”
“What, she’s blackmailing us? I’ll call the bank manager first thing in the morning!”
“There are four witnesses to our conversation, Lenny, and all of them would testify that Sara did not solicit a bribe. No. What she did was very subtle. It was a wink, at least I’m pretty sure it was done by a wink. Like, you realize Isabel if you do this for me you’ll get your loan.”
“Well what is it that she wants?”
Isabel explains the situation with the Sparklers. “Holy shit. She wants Joey to join the Sparklers?”
“For a month, not forever.”
“Right. Pretend he’s a girl while he’s on the team so they can enter the state championship? Man, that’s screwy.”
“Sara’s daughter is Jenny, the girl that Joey has had a crush on for a long time.”
“So he gets to dance with her pretending he’s a girl? What’s the likelihood that his chances with her go from something to nothing? Would you have dated me if I pretended I was a girl on a cheerleading team?”
“Modern girls are different and besides, Joey is not like you. You’re very alphamaleish. Joey is more refined, definitely not the primate type.”
“Still, I can’t help but think that he’ll become a pariah among the other kids.”
“I don’t know. He does it for one month. The whole school is told about his sacrifice. It might not be so bad among the kids. I think it would build character in a young person, don’t you agree?”
“I get the feeling that you’re okay with this.”
“Maybe because I’m a woman I don’t see it as being so threatening to masculinity as you do. But the look that Sara gave me haunts my mind and makes me feel like we don’t have a lot of choice here. We need that loan or we’re in deep shit and you know that. With the loan we could have such prosperity that Joey would be able to go to any college he wanted. You know how much is at stake here.”
“Well, you go ahead and have the conversation with Joey. Only bring me in if you need some male perspective on the situation.”
***
When Joey is done with his homework, Isabel knocks on his door and enters.
“I have something I need to discuss with you.”
“What is it, mom?”
“I know how much you love watching the Sparklers, and I suppose you’ve heard that one of their dancers was deported and that they need to replace her in order to compete in the state championships.”
“Yes, the whole school is talking about it.”
“Well, I’m just going to say this and hope that you aren’t offended.”
“What?”
“Your father and I know that you’ve spent some time learning the dance routines of the Sparklers. Probably you’re the only one in Finch High that knows them at all except for the 9 girls that are already on the team. So, boys are allowed to be in the Sparklers. There’s no rule that says the team has to be all girls. The rule is however, that all members of the team must wear the same costume. So would you be willing to be one of the dancers in the Sparklers? For just a month, you know. Until the championship”
“Me?” Joey says. The question is the last thing he is expecting his mother to say. The first thought that comes into his mind is the realization that if he is a Sparkler, he’ll be able to spend a lot of time with Jenny. Just as he is relishing this thought, he realizes what his mom is getting at about the costumes. The Sparklers sometimes wear leotards when they dance. Sometimes he’s seen them in short cute dresses. At other times, he’s seen them in knee length dresses made of a dozen layers of tulle. He also once saw them in square dance costumes of billowing skirts with crinolines underneath. The girls always wear a lot of makeup including bright red lipstick.
“Yes, Joey. You’re unique among the students in being able to fill in at short notice. Besides, no one else in the school is willing.”
“But I’d have to dress in girls’ clothing. Wouldn’t I?”
“Yes, Joey, that would be necessary.”
“And you and dad don’t find that ridiculous?”
“That’s not the word that we’d choose. We think, more like, challenging. It would be character building to say the least. And it’s not forever. It’s like playing a part in a play for one month.”
“I don’t know mom, this seems pretty out there and kind of crazy.” Joey is surprised that his mother seems to be quite relaxed about him dressing like a girl. He would have thought that his mom and dad and especially his dad would dismiss such a possibility out of hand.
“I know that. One other thing is that if you decide that you can do it, then you have to be all in. Not half in half out. You’ve got to display the same degree of excitement as the other dancers. You have to care about doing a good job. Without that commitment there is no reason for you to join because the Sparklers would never win the state championship if one of the girls, I mean dancers, is half-hearted.”
“I’d have to not just dress like a girl, but I’d have to act like a girl? Is that what you mean by being fully in?”
“Yes. From what I understand, the Sparklers have to come across as ten girls, not nine girls and a boy dressed as a girl.”
“I don’t know if I can become a girl, mom. In such a short amount of time? Do you and dad think I could become a girl, and do it so quickly?”
“We don’t really know, but I think the one thing that’s true is you don’t have some obvious reason why you couldn’t be a girl. For example, some boys have very wide, masculine shoulders and square heads. Your shoulders are less obviously boy-like and your face is softer, rounder, more like the face of a girl in some ways. You’ve always kept your hair long so you don’t have to wait for it to grow out.”
Joey is a little surprised by the way his mom seems to be pushing him towards becoming a Sparkler. Finally, he says, “What do you and dad want me to do?”
“Well, that’s a good question.” Isabel ponders how she should answer this, but every way she thinks about it comes back to Sara and getting the loan. “Well, I think it would be such a lovely gesture for Finch High and the nine girls on the team, that you’d probably be somewhat of a hero among your peers and you’d eventually look back upon this as a kind of wild and fascinating thing that you did. Also, as we all know, what goes around comes around. Such a nice deed by yourself will one day lead to a nice deed done to you.”
Joey listens thoughtfully to his mom and says, “When do I have to decide?”
“Take as much time as you need, though the team will have to do a lot of practicing with you to get up to speed if you do decide to join.”
“I’ll let you know in the morning. I should sleep on it.”
***
Overnight, Joey tosses and turns wondering what he should do. After considering the situation from every angle, he decides that it boils down to Jenny. Will she appreciate his joining the Sparklers so much that she wants to be his girlfriend, or will she see him as a freak and shun him? He wrestles with this idea. One minute he thinks that she would love him for doing it and the next he thinks that she’d think he was a joke. In the morning when he wakes up he is still undecided, but then he sees that Jenny has sent him a text. It’s weird because he has no idea how she knows his phone number. The text says, “Mom says you could be the salvation of the Sparklers. I hope that’s true! I think we can win the state championship if you join us.”
Joey texts back, “You think I could pretend to be a girl and dance with the Sparklers?”
“I do,” Jenny texts back.
“Will you respect me if I become a Sparkler? Become a girl for a month?”
“Yes, of course, Joey. We’ll more than respect you for becoming a Sparkler, we’ll love you for doing it!”
Joey laughs out loud. Damn! He thinks Jenny is so totally going to love him for joining the Sparklers, and then he’ll figure out how to become her boyfriend when it’s over. At breakfast he tells his mom that he’s thought a lot about the Sparklers and has decided that he’ll join.
“You’re completely sure that this is what you want to do?”
“Yes.”
“No hesitation? No second thoughts?”
“I’m sure. You see I got a text from Jenny this morning really hoping that I would join. So I think that as long as the girls on the team are behind me, then the other kids will just go along with it and accept what I’m doing for nothing more than what it is. Which is saving the Sparklers. Then when it’s over, I’ll know Jenny really well.”
“That’s such a wonderful mature attitude. I’m so happy and proud of you!”
Before Joey leaves for school, he texts Jenny saying, “I’ve decided that I’d like to be a Sparkler. I hope you’ll show me how I can act like a girl.”
She texts back almost immediately, “Wonderful! It’s so brave of you! Don’t worry about how to become a girl. The Sparklers will feminize you so that you fit in seamlessly with the rest of us.”
“Okay,” Joey texts back.
“Super-duper. I’ll let you know what’s next,” Jenny texts.
As soon as Joey leaves for school, Isabel calls up her husband who is already at work to tell him that Joey is going to be a Sparkler.
“Whew,” Lenny says. “I can almost taste that loan now!”
***
The membership of the Sparklers is determined by a vote of the members. It’s an entirely self-governing group. Jenny informs Cathy, Amy and the others that Joey is willing to be the tenth Sparkler and that they need to have a meeting where they can vote him in. That afternoon after school, the girls meet in the Sparkler room which is a classroom used as a dance studio.
“What are you smoking, Jenny?” Cathy says. “A boy on the Sparklers? We’ll never win with a klutzy guy on the team. It will be such an embarrassment.”
“Joey is not klutzy. His body is kind of feminine already. He has narrow shoulders and almost a girl’s face. I think we can easily make him look like a girl.”
“Regardless of anything, are you serious about a boy wearing our girl costumes? Our tulle skirts, our crinolines and leotards?”
“Yes, exactly. Joey is volunteering to go fully into being a Sparkler. He assured me that he would do whatever we told him to do, and that he would try his hardest to help us win the championship.”
“It just sounds dumb to me,” Cathy says.
“Yeah, Jenny,” Amy says. “I agree with Cathy. There’s no way that Joey won’t act like a boy and ruin the dances for us. Besides, what kind of boy would even be willing to be a Sparkler?”
The girls argue among themselves for a half-hour until finally, Jenny says, “We’ll just have to have a vote. The bottom line is that if we don’t take Joey into the Sparklers, then we forfeit the tournament. If we do take him in, then we have a chance. Maybe not a great chance, but still a chance. And I personally think that Joey might amaze us with his dancing ability.”
The girls take a vote and it comes to 5 in favor of Joey and 4 against. “Okay,” Cathy says, “I’ll accept the vote. It means that I’ll be working my tail off to get us ready for the state competition, and if I’m doing that, then I’ll expect Joey to be working that hard if not even harder. And I also will expect him to do everything that in our judgment will help us win.”
“Thank you Cathy,” Jenny says. “I agree with you completely. We should expect as much from Joey as from any of us, even more if necessary, and he shouldn’t complain about what demands we make of him, not that he’s going to be complaining.”
***
Jenny texts Joey and tells him to come to their meeting to be introduced to everyone. He comes as fast as he can. The reality of entering a room with 9 girls in it, is much harder than he had anticipated. That is stressful enough and then Jenny is there as well and all their eyes are focused on him. “We had a vote, Joey, and we elected to have you join us as one of the Sparklers. So congratulations,” Jenny says.
Joey is not aware that he has to be voted in. Looking at the girls he has the feeling that the vote might not have been unanimous. In particular, he can see that Cathy and Amy look like they are a bit annoyed. “Thanks, Jenny. I’m determined to help the Sparklers win the state championship.”
“Good, so tell us how much of our routines do you know?”
“I know many of the steps.”
“Show us,” Jenny says.
“Okay.”
Joey performs steps from a couple of the routines he’s watched. “I can do more. I’m pretty sure that I know most of the steps from all the routines.”
“You know a lot more than I expected,” Jenny says with obvious pleasure. “Isn’t this great, Cathy?”
“Yes, this is encouraging,” Cathy says, “but there’s so much more than the steps that Joey will have to learn. How Joey looks and moves in the costumes is just as important as knowing what steps he has to do. We’re a girls’ team and we have to look and act like we’re girls, including Joey.”
“She’s right, Joey,” Jenny says. “Knowing the steps is necessary, but so is making everyone think that you’re a girl. Not just think you might be a girl, but they must believe you’re a girl. The judges, in particular, should not have any inkling that you’re not a girl. If they do, they’ll zero in on you to see if it creates a slight wrinkle in our otherwise perfect routines. Those little differences are what causes a team to lose the championship. Do you understand Joey?”
“Yes.”
“Can you make the commitment to act and look like a girl for us?”
“Yes, I think I can.”
“Even if the rest of the school makes fun of you?”
“They’ll make fun of me?”
“I hope not, but some kids may be mean. The dumb ones. We’ll all do whatever we can to make sure that everyone is nice to you.”
“Thank you.”
“I think I speak for all the girls when I say how much we appreciate what you’re doing.”
To have Jenny looking deeply into his eyes and communicating her concern for him and her appreciation for his sacrifice makes Joey feel euphoric. This is the best decision he ever made in his life. He is convinced of that.
Cathy goes into a closet and takes out a pink leotard covered with silver sequins and a pair of white tights. “This is one of Maria’s costumes, Joey. It should fit you. Put it on so we can start to see what we’re dealing with here.”
“Is there a dressing room?”
“No. We change into our costumes right here. Don’t be shy,” Cathy says.
“Really?” Joey says, embarrassed.
“Look, if you’re going to be one of the Sparklers, there can’t be any special arrangement for you, “ Cathy says. “We all change into our outfits together and you’ll have to do that too. We’ve all seen penises and to tell you the truth they’re no big deal, so get over it. It’ll be best for you if you just pretend that you have a vagina, no different than any of us. Then, you’ll see yourself as just being one of the girls getting dressed. Do you understand, Joey?”
“Yes, Cathy,” Joey says with hurt feelings. He isn’t trying to flaunt his penis, and he doesn’t feel superior because he has one.
“I like that idea, Cathy,” Jenny says. “Joey, as long as you are going to be a Sparkler, it really is a good idea for you to pretend that you have a vagina.”
“And breasts also,” Cathy says.
“Yes, and breasts. If you think often enough that you have a vagina and breasts, then that will really help you see yourself as a girl,” Jenny says.
Joey gets red in the face and looks like he wants to speak but doesn’t. Finally, Jenny says, “What is it Joey?”
“I’m afraid that I’ve never seen a vagina, so I don’t know how to imagine one.”
“Oh, Jesus,” Cathy says, and she undoes the button and zipper of her jeans and lowers them and takes them off. Then she pulls down her panties, revealing her vagina. “See, there’s a pussy, Joey. It’s got some hair around it, just like boys have hair around their cocks. You see that there’s a slit in the middle of the hair which is the opening to my vagina.” Cathy uses her hands to slightly open the slit and Joey can see a pretty pink colored skin inside.
“Thank you, Cathy. I think I can now imagine that I have one of those.” Joey is awed by the view of a vagina. He has long heard the word and has had a vague idea of what it must be like. The reality of seeing one makes him feel oddly defenseless. He can see that women can easily control him by allowing him access to their vaginas. Girls are powerful creatures, there is no doubt about that.
“What about breasts?” Amy says.
“I’ve seen breasts,” Joey says. “Well not live, but I’ve seen pictures.”
Cathy then lifts her blouse over her head so she is wearing just her bra and panty. She lifts up the front underwire bra she is wearing revealing her breasts. “Forget about pictures. Here’s the real thing. See how they jiggle,” Cathy says, and she twists her upper body back and forth causing her breasts to bounce around.
Joey feels an immediate and strong attraction to Cathy’s breasts. “So I should imagine that I have breasts like yours and a vagina like yours.”
“They don’t have to be specifically Cathy’s but any nice generic vagina and breasts will do.”
The reality of what Jenny is saying sinks into Joey’s thoughts and he imagines himself with a vagina and breasts and dressed like a girl standing near Teddy. He’s watching Teddy and some of the other boys roughhousing with each other. Their muscular arms flexing and powerfully pushing against each other while he’s standing to the side watching with a group of girls, maybe including Jenny. Even though he’s technically a boy like Teddy, since he’s imagining that he has a vagina like the girls around him, he doesn’t feel like a boy and Jenny doesn’t see him as being a boy. She sees him as being one of the girls.
“So, now take off your pants and put on the tights and leotard,” Jenny says.
Joey pulls down his pants and takes them off revealing his underpants. Aware that the nine girls are looking him over, he shyly says to Jenny, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to put on the tights and the leotard. Can you show me?”
“Of course, Joey, we’re all happy to help you. Do you know that you put on the tights first, then the leotard?” Jenny has him sit down in a chair and she brings a chair up next to him. She shows him how to roll up a leg of the tights, fit his toes in and then bring it up his leg. Then she helps him with the other leg. When the tights are pulled up as far as his thighs, she has him stand and then she helps him pull it up to his waist. “Very good, Joey, do you think you can do that by yourself from now on?”
“Yeah, I just have to roll up the legs. I can do that.”
“Good.” Jenny holds up the leotard in front of Joey and shows him which is the front and which is the back. “The front here is where there is space for our breasts and the back is where there is a label. Now you just step into it, just like stepping into your pants or underwear.”
Joey takes the leotard from Jenny, holds it in front of him and steps one leg and then the other into it. She helps him pull it up until the crotch is as high as it can go. Joey feels it pressing against his balls and penis. “Now you put your arms through the straps,” Jenny says and Joey does as she says. “Very good. The last thing is you adjust it so it’s comfortable. It’s actually pretty amazing that Maria and you have about the same size bodies.”
Joey feels an unexpected surge of emotion. Wearing a girl’s leotard and tights and standing in front of the nine girls has a powerful effect on making him see himself as having joined them as one of their own. His dressing like a girl in front of the whole team has exposed every one of his vulnerabilities. There is no hiding within his boyhood that he can hold up to the girls, now that he’s dressed as if he were a girl. He feels like he is now entirely at their mercy. They’ll never ever see him as being a boy again. The oddest part of the thoughts swirling around inside him is that he can see that he’s feeling excitement mixed in with joy. It’s making him profoundly happy to appear to be a girl; an emotion that he had never suspected would be one that he would have. Looking ahead he can see that the prospect that the girls will want him to become more and more like a girl is thrilling. Moreover, he can sense that he’s going to a place where there’s no turning back. How will he ever be able to give up the chance to be a girl without creating a feeling of emptiness inside himself?
“What do you think girls? I think that Maria’s costume fits Joey very well,” Jenny says.
Some of the other girls agree with Jenny, while Cathy – who in the meantime has put on her tights and leotard - says “Maria’s costume does fit him sort of, but he clearly looks like a boy wearing girl’s clothes. Joey needs to get hips, a bigger rear end and breasts. He’ll have to get a padded panty or padded panty girdle for his hips and ass and he definitely has to wear a bra with some breast forms in it. I’d say at least a C or D cup to compensate for his lack of breast tissue on that skinny frame of his.”
Jenny turns to Joey and says, “She’s right Joey. You do need padding in your tush and in your chest to make you look like a proper girl and thus fit in with the rest of us.”
“Do you want me to buy a bra and panty? I don’t know anything about that.”
“I’ll buy it for you,” Cathy says. “Let me take some of your measurements.” She finds a tape measure and puts it around Joey’s chest, waist and hips and writes down what they are. “I’ll get them before I go home today and then you’ll have them for tomorrow.”
“There’s also the problem of that,” Amy says and she touches the slight bulge of the leotard where it covers Joey’s penis.
“Right. What can we do about that?” Jenny says.
“He can wear a gaff that pushes his penis back out of the way,” Cathy says. “I know where to get that also.”
“We also need to get your hair restyled,” Jenny says. “Thank goodness you keep it long to start with, but we’ll have to take you to a beauty parlor and get you a girl’s cut.”
“They’ll also have to give him a mani-pedi,” Cathy says.
“Sure,” Jenny says. “We’ll go this weekend, Joey. I’ll make an appointment.”
“Good, we’re making progress here. I’m not yet optimistic,” Cathy says, “but I’m moving there slowly.”
“Cathy, I’ll try my best to fit into the Sparklers,” Joey says.
“I believe you, but there are a lot of obstacles here.”
“I was going to ask,” Joey says. “When are the practices?”
“Every day after school,” Jenny says, “and then basically about six hours on Saturday and Sunday. It’s a big commitment, but anything less than that and we have no chance of winning the championship.”
“I think that’s great,” Joey says. “My mom and dad have made sure that I’ll be free from now until the championship to practice as much as you need me to.”
***
As Joey walks home from school after the meeting wearing his boy clothes, he thinks about the feeling of sadness that he had when he took off the tights and leotard. It’s nice to be dressed as a girl. It seems to open him up to a feeling of contentment and self-confidence he has never felt before. The one dark thought is the realization that the more he craves pretending he’s a girl, the more difficult it will be to convince Jenny that he should be her boyfriend.
***
The next day at rehearsal Cathy hands a large, somewhat heavy shopping bag to Joey and says, “I’ve got exactly what you need to help you fit the part. Put these on with your tights and leotard and let’s have a look at you. The box inside the bag holds your breast forms.”
“I should change here?”
“Yes, what did I say yesterday? And I forgot to mention, that in the bag, with the bra and padded panty girdle, there is a gaff. Put on the gaff and then the panty girdle. Got it?”
“Yes, Cathy.”
“I have my doubts that this is going to feminize you enough.”
Joey looks pained and Jenny comes over to him and leads him away from Cathy. “Don’t mind Cathy. She’s often short with us girls too. She’s frustrated that Maria was taken away and she’s searching for some way to believe in the Sparklers again. It means a lot to her. Once she sees you beginning to fit in when we dance, and to behave and look like a girl, I’m sure she’ll be kinder to you.”
“I hope so,” Joey says, “since she scares me and it makes me afraid that I’m going to screw up and get yelled at by her.”
“I’ll try and have a little chat with her and see if she’ll ease up on you. Put on your costume and if you need help, let me know.”
Joey sits down and opens the bag and reaches in it and takes out a bright pink, lacy padded panty girdle with tag attached to it. He isn’t expecting pink and he reacts with a bit of surprise. Cathy calls out to him, “Is that okay?”
He looks over to her and says, “Sure, Cathy.” The truth is that the panty girdle is much prettier than he expected it to be and he feels an even stronger desire to wear it.
“Good, just making sure.” Her voice is tinged with sarcasm.
Joey reaches in the bag and takes out the bra that matches the panty girdle. One of the girls, Felicia, sitting near Joey says, “Cathy, Joey’s underwear is so pretty. Such a nice set.”
“Thanks,” Cathy says. “When I saw that I knew immediately that it would look perfect on Joey.”
“It should definitely inspire Joey to be the best possible girl he can be,” Amy says, laughing.
Jenny says to Cathy in a low voice that Joey can just hear, “What’s with the pink, Cathy? Don’t you think it’s hard enough for Joey to wear girls underwear without it being the most feminine possible?”
“I’m just trying to help him be a girl, Jenny. It’s very important for the team that he sublimates the fact that he’s going to have to become a girl in the next few weeks.”
Jenny walks away shaking her head and Amy says to Joey, “Do you like the underwear?”
“Yeah, it seems nice.”
“Very pretty, isn’t it?”
“Oh, yeah, definitely,” Joey says, and then making sure that Cathy can hear, he adds, “I think pink may now be my favorite color.” He glances up and sees Cathy smiling. The girls are now changing into their leotards and tights, and Joey finds himself surreptitiously observing the girls pulling their blouses over their heads, or unbuttoning their blouses and taking them off to reveal their bras. He’s also aware of them stepping out of their pants or unzipping their skirts and taking them off so that they’re dressed only in bras and panties. His eyes take in the scene in gulps as he is afraid to stare but is unable not to take a look at the girls.
Jenny comes up to him wearing her tights and a bra. Joey wonders if Teddy Silver has ever seen Jenny in her underwear. It depends on whether they have ever had sex with each other. It is hard for Joey to imagine that Jenny would let someone like Teddy touch her, let alone take her clothes off in front of him.
“Take off your shirt and put on your bra. Let’s see what you look like,” Jenny says.
As Joey takes off his shirt over his head he says, “I don’t know how to put on a bra.” He holds the pink bra in his hands and looks at it closely and sees on the tag that it is a size 34D.
Jenny says, “I’ll show you how to do it. It’s easy once you get the hang of it. Before I do I want to get on the same page with you about what our expectations are. It’s natural to think of us dressing you like a girl, but that’s not what we’re aiming for here. We need to have you dress yourself as if you are a girl. See, not a boy dressing like a girl, but a girl dressing herself. If we can accomplish that, then you’ll probably come across as being a girl in the competition. Do you grasp what I’m talking about?”
“I think so, but I’ll need you to show me how I can dress myself as if I were a girl.”
“Not, as if you were a girl! You should dress being a girl! So, Joey, close your eyes.”
Joey says, “Close my eyes? How will I ...” `
“I’m going to try and help you identify as being a girl. Not, feel like a boy who’s pretending to be a girl. That’s not good enough. You’ve got to really feel inside that you’re a girl and when you get that feeling, when you really have that feeling, then you do things that girls do without having to think about it. For example, right now, as a boy, every morning you wake up and know that you put on your underpants. Your boy underpants. Then you put on a shirt and pants. Well, we have to change that so that every morning when you wake up you instinctively put on girl clothes. One of the really natural things that girls do after they wake up in the morning, something that all girls share with each other, is that when we get dressed we put on our bras. It’s not like, ‘Oh today, maybe I’ll wear a bra. No, it’s ‘I wake up and I put on my bra because I know I’m a girl and I wear a bra every day.’ That’s what I do every morning. We need for you to feel the same way, Joey. So, close your eyes.”
“They’re closed,” Joey says.
“Good. Now imagine that you have two large breasts on your chest. Visualize them in your mind’s eye. Do you see them, Joey?”
Joey concentrates on imagining that he has large breasts and he says, “Yes.”
“Imagine the skin of your breasts is smooth to the touch. Think of how the skin of your breasts arises out of the sides of your chest, puffs out and forms your breasts and runs down in the middle between your breasts. Your skin also swells over your breasts encompassing your nipples and arcs down and tucks in underneath your breasts where it reunites with your chest. There’s a kind of purity to breast skin, an innocence that shines through and you should be able to feel that. Can you feel your breasts swaying a bit as you move your chest? Imagine cupping your hands underneath your breasts and gently holding them and then gently moving them together and apart.”
“Yes, I can visualize all of this.”
“As you breathe, do you feel your breasts gently rising and falling?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Good. Can you feel the special sensitivity of your nipples?”
“Yes.”
“Are your nipples hard?”
“Yes.”
“Now, think, Joey. Do you need to wear a bra and why?”
“Yes, I guess I do. Because my breasts will be bouncing around if I don’t.”
“Good, Joey. Can you imagine your breasts being held in your bra so they can’t flop around?”
“Yes,” Joey says.
“So you see why every one of your days begins with putting on your bra?”
“Yes. I need to put on my bra so my breasts don’t bounce.”
“You wake up in the morning, and as soon as you sit up, you feel your breasts heaving and you reach for your bra. You don’t even have to think about it, Joey. You have to wear a bra every day. You just have to. It’s what you do because you’re a girl and you have large breasts. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes, Jenny. I have to wear a bra every day because of my large breasts.”
“It’s not because you’re a boy pretending to be a girl. No. It’s because you’re a girl, Joey. Through and through, you’re a girl. Girls wear bras, you’re a girl, you wear a bra.”
“Yes, Jenny, I need to wear my bra because I’m a girl.”
“And now imagine you’re at a store that sell bras. What are you thinking, Joey?”
“I’m thinking that I have to look for bras in my size?”
“Good. What else?”
“I guess I have to think about what style of bra I want to wear?”
“Very good, Joey. So what style are you going to buy?”
“I don’t know,” Joey says.
“Girls know what bras they like and dislike. They know what color they think is pretty. They know if they want lace on it or not. They know which bras are comfortable and which ones aren’t.”
“I’m sorry, Jenny.”
“It’s not your fault that you don’t know about bras, Joey. But you see, you have to develop a desire for the bras that you like, if you’re going to be a girl.”
“So I should go to a store and look at the bras?”
“Yes, that’s a good idea. And when you’re there, look at the different bras and think about which ones you like best. For each bra, visualize your large breasts and imagine what that bra would feel like if you put it on. And do you know that each of us girls has a memory of getting our first bra? All girls have that memory. For some of us it’s no big deal while for some of us it means a lot. Here, today, you’re getting your first bra. You should let yourself imagine that before today you were a girl whose breasts were just starting to form, and now today, your breasts have grown enough that you need a bra. Can you do that?”
“I guess so.”
“What I’m getting at is that if you’re going to feel like you’re a girl, then you need to create memories of your life growing up as a girl. One of these memories is dreaming about your first bra. Have you ever dreamt about this day? About getting your first bra?”
“Not really.”
“Well your other homework is going to be creating memories of a childhood as a girl. Perhaps you should make up a journal of yourself at different ages in which you see yourself as a girl. Okay?”
“Sure, Jenny.”
“Make up a story of you dreaming about your first bra. About how excited you are to get it. About bugging your mom to take you bra shopping. About how proud you’ll be to go to school wearing your bra for the first time. About how the other girls are impressed by your bra choice.”
“This is so much work, but I think it’s kind of fun.”
“That’s the spirit! Now let me show you how to put on your bra. You can pretend that I’m your mom and we’re on our trip to buy you your first bra. Your mom is showing you how to put it on. This is an experience that no boys ever get to have, but you’re experiencing it because you’re a girl. Here, hold your bra by one end.”
Joey holds the bra as Jenny directs him. “You’ve got your breasts in front of you, and you’re going to end up putting your breasts in the cups of the bra. First you have to clip the ends of the straps.” Jenny shows him how to do that in front of himself just below his breasts. “Now you swivel the bra around to bring the cups in front and place your breasts in the cups and put your arms through the straps.” Somewhat awkwardly Joey is able to get the bra on. Then Jenny hands him the breast forms that he puts into the bra cups.
“Wow, this makes me feel like I really do have breasts,” Joey says. He’s acutely aware of his large chest projecting out in front of him. It’s a whole new way of seeing himself. “The bra makes me feel like I must be a girl. I mean it really does have some kind of power over me.”
“The last thing is you reach behind to the back and use your fingers to smooth down the label so it doesn’t itch you. Got it?”
"Yes, Jenny,” Joey says. His fingers can easily reach the clasp in the back.
“Very good, and to take off your bra, you reach behind yourself to your back and undo the clasps and the bra falls right off of you.”
“Thank you Jenny. I’m pretty sure I can put it on by myself the next time.”
“Keep thinking about how you wear bras like all the girls you know do. When you see a girl, realize that she’s wearing a bra, and then think that you’re wearing one just like the way she is.”
“I will, Jenny,” Joey says and makes a mental note to do as she says.
“Conversely, whenever you see a boy, you tell yourself, that unlike the boy I’m looking at, I have to wear a bra because I have breasts. You can also think that you’re wearing pretty panties that are tight against your vagina, while the boy has a penis in his jockey shorts. Think about how the boy has bulging muscles that are hard to the touch, while your body is smooth and shapely and soft. Also think about how you have a nice rounded pretty butt and sexy curves. Think about that you’re wearing a skirt and the boy isn’t. Think about how you like smelling pretty and having pretty polish on your fingernails and toenails. These thoughts will help cement in your mind the belief that you’re a girl.”
“Thanks, Jenny. I’ll try and do everything you’re telling me.”
“Good.” Turning to the girls, Jenny asks, “ So what do you all think of Joey in his bra!”
The girls congratulate Joey for looking so good in a bra and also let Cathy know how much they think her choice of bra is perfect for Joey.
“Now we need Joey to put on his padded panty girdle,” Jenny says. “Considering everything which we just discussed concerning your breasts, I think it’s a good idea for you to tell us about your vagina and about your wearing a panty girdle.”
“Tell you about it?”
“Yes, Joey. You’re a girl, you have a vagina, now tell us about your vagina. Tell us about your panty girdle.”
“Well …” Joey starts to say.
“You should take off your pants so we can see your vagina while you talk about it.”
Though terribly self-conscious, Joey takes off his pants and then his underwear and stands in front of the girls with his penis shriveled from fear. He can see that some of the girls, and especially Cathy, are amused by what they’re seeing.
“Do I have to talk about my vagina?” Joey asks Jenny.
“Yes, Joey. This is important to help you cross the threshold into accepting the fact that you’re a girl. Any one of us could talk about our vaginas so you should be able to do that as well.
“I’m sorry, Jenny.”
“It’s okay, Joey. Just tell us about your pussy.”
“Well, this is my vagina,” Joey says using his hand to point to his penis. “Girls have vaginas. It’s a hole into me. I mean boys put their penises inside it if they want to put their sperm in me, like you know if they want, or we want to have a baby. Well, I guess what the boys do is um, they have to put it in and out a bunch of times. I mean their penises. It feels good for boys when they go in and out of my vagina. Well to do that they first have to get their penises hard and long, and if they can go in and out enough times they squirt their semen into me. Then I have, maybe an egg up inside my vagina and it gets coated with their sperm and then sometimes that causes me to become pregnant.”
Joey looks at the girls who are clearly fascinated by his talk. “If I’m going to have a baby, then it’ll come out of my vagina. I guess every month I have my period. Blood flows out of my vagina if I don’t get myself pregnant that month. Then I think I use some sort of pad or maybe I stick some kind of thing up my vagina to get the blood? Oh, and I also go pee pee from my vagina? I’m pretty sure that I do.”
“Very good, Joey,” Jenny says. “Does anybody have anything to add?”
“Joey never mentioned what feelings we have in our vaginas,” Amy says.
“Yes, Joey. Tell us about the feelings you have in your pussy,” Jenny says.
“Let me see. When a boy puts his penis in me, I can feel pleasure. I’m not totally sure where in my vagina I get the pleasure. I think it’s somewhere there. If I get enough pleasure then maybe I can climax like boys, I think anyway. I don’t know what happens when my vagina is orgasming. I have no idea.”
Joey falls silent looking at the nine girls, each smiling at him.
“That was very informative, to say the least,” Jenny says, laughing. “Now tell us about your panty girdle.”
“Okay, my panty girdle,” Joey says and is cut off by Amy who says, “Put on your gaff first!”
“Right, sorry,” Joey says and holds up the gaff trying to figure out how it works.
“Do you need help with the gaff?” Jenny says and the girls giggle.
“I’ve never worn one before, but I think I can figure it out.”
The girls watch as Joey puts on the gaff and tucks his penis back between his legs. “Very good,” Jenny says.
Joey looks up at her and says, “Thanks,” blushing crimson. The girls watch him as he holds up the panty girdle and says, “This is my panty girdle. It’s nice because it can give me a curvy figure. See how it has pretty lace just like my bra has. They match. It’s important for girls to wear matching bras and panty girdles?” The statement comes out as a question.
“Good point,” Cathy says. “What do you think girls? Is it important for our panties and bras to match?”
“Yes and no,” Jenny says. “On special occasions we do want our underwear to match, but other times it doesn’t matter.” The other girls chime in agreeing with Jenny.
“In that case, when I get more bras and panty girdles, I’ll be able to choose to wear ones that don’t match,” Joey says. “I guess I have a lot to learn if I’m going to be a girl.”
“You’re doing very well, Joey,” Jenny says. “Isn’t he girls?”
The girls unanimously agree that Joey has made great progress in a very short time. “Now continue your talk,” Jenny says.
“Anyway, I’m going to put on my panty girdle now.” Joey holds up the padded panty girdle and steps into it and pulls it up his legs. It’s a little tough going getting past his butt, but he tugs on it and the next thing he knows he’s wearing the panty girdle together with his bra. The padding in the panty girdle includes each of his butt cheeks. Both the bra and panty girdle are in a dazzling pink color and Joey feels like his hips are enormous, though it’s an optical illusion caused by not previously having had wide hips.
“So here I am in my bra and panty girdle,” Joey says and he slowly circles around so everyone can see.
“Tell us about your non-bump,” Amy says.
“Right. As you can see,” Joey says, waving his hand in a flourish over his crotch area, “My panty girdle fits smoothly over my vagina. No bump at all.”
“Anything else to say, Joey?” Jenny says.
Joey looks at the girls and says, “Just that I have a nice figure now. I have breasts and nice shapely hips. I hope I now look good in the costumes that the Sparklers wear.”
“I think we agree that you have a very nice figure now, Joey. The bra and panty girdle fit you perfectly and you are well on your way to being a very lovely girl.”
“Thank you,” Joey says. “I think that after this day I’ll really start feeling inside that I’m a girl. I’m already thinking that by having large breasts I’m constantly reminded that I must be a girl. I mean it’s like the breasts are always there on me, no matter what I’m doing. They’re a part of me. Do all you girls feel the same way?”
“Sort of,” Cathy says. “We know that we’ll be carrying our breasts around with us all day long, and that they’re in our bras, and that this feels natural to us because we know we’re girls.” Turning to a girl named Florence who has the biggest breasts among the Sparklers, Cathy says, “What do you think, Florence. You have the biggest boobs.”
“I think that my breasts let the world know that I’m a girl, and I’m proud of that. I would never want to be any different than I am now. I think Joey will grow to be proud of his femininity.”
“I think that this logic applies to everything that is special to girls. For example, I like wearing skirts because I’m a girl, but because I wear skirts I feel like I’m a girl,” Jenny says.
“Right, Jenny,” Cathy says. “So Joey, besides imagining that you have a pussy and breasts that make you feel like you’re a girl, you should also accept the fact that you’re a girl because you’ll be wearing girls clothes everywhere and you’ll look like a girl.”
“And then you’ll be emotionally a girl because you’ll know deep down inside that you cannot not be a girl,” Jenny says. “In a sense, you’ll begin to feel that you’re sort of a prisoner of girlhood. Not prisoner in a bad sense, but prisoner in the sense that there is no escaping the fact that you’re a girl.”
The logic of Jenny’s argument is a bit hard to follow, but Joey senses that she’s a hundred percent right. He sits down and turns his attention to putting his tights on his feet and then pulls them up over his padded butt. He steps into the sparkly pink leotard and pulls it up tightly against his ass and puts his arms in the straps and adjusts the front over his large breasts. He walks to a large mirror on the side of the room and looks at himself. His figure is extraordinary. He has curves now that rival those of the other girls. Because of his relatively thin stature, his large chest seems particularly prominent. No doubt it will attract much attention from the boys. Joey jumps a few times and kicks his legs like he’s seen the Sparklers do and marvels at how nice if feels to be a Sparkler. It’s as if there is a lot of power in being able to dance as a girl.
Maria has a pair of ballet slippers among her costumes and Joey puts them on like he sees the other girls doing. Cathy comes over to inspect him. “Your figure might very well pass as that of a girl. Your hair and face need a lot of attention. You’ve got to wear makeup and hopefully the beauty salon can figure out a feminine style for your hair that fits you. You’ll get the same pink nail polish that the rest of us are wearing. It’s a small detail that the judges will pick up on and could be the difference between winning and losing the competition.”
“Sure, Cathy, I’m happy to wear nail polish.”
Cathy smiles at Joey and says, “I’m sorry. Of course you are. We can all see how determined you are to be a girl.”
Joey smiles at Cathy, relieved that Cathy is rooting for him to become a girl and that she believes he is trying as hard as he can. It occurs to Joey that if he’s lucky he’ll reach a point where he’ll feel like he’s Cathy’s girlfriend, no different than Amy or Jenny or any of the other girls.
For the next couple of hours the ten Sparklers practice one of their most basic routines with Joey dancing in the position that Maria had occupied. It is a dance that he is quite familiar with having watched it many times and from having taught himself Jenny’s part. When the practice is over, Jenny and Cathy confer with each other a few minutes and then Jenny approaches Joey and says, “You need a little help with your mannerisms. They’ve got to be girl-like. Your hands, your arms and especially your walking and standing show your history of being a boy. These movements will start being naturally girl-like as you fully absorb the fact that your body needs to move in a way that is compatible with the bra and panty girdle that you’re wearing. Girls underwear should produce girl-like gestures if you allow your underwear to guide you as you move. Certainly your panty girdle begs you to swish your hips and your large breasts want to be held steady as you move your torso. Wearing girls clothes will help accentuate your desire to act feminine, so you really need to wear girl’s clothes every day until the competition. Internalizing your belief that you’re a girl will also help you become comfortable mingling in society as one of the Sparklers.”
“So I should come to school dressed like a girl?”
“Exactly, Joey. Come to school as if you were one of us.”
This is somewhat more than Joey thought might happen. He wonders how his teachers and classmates will react when they see him. Hopefully, the whole school has been told about what he’s doing for the Sparklers and they’ll be nice to him. If he’s going to be dressed like a girl, he needs to learn to be a girl as fast as possible. He says to Jenny, “I guess it would be helpful to me if you and the other girls could critique me and also explain to me how I can better move like I’m a girl.”
“Yeah, so what I was thinking is that I’ll walk you home and you imitate me along the way. That’s ten blocks that you can practice walking and gesturing like a girl. I’ll find you a skirt and blouse you can wear home. No more of your boy clothes.”
“Right, Jenny.”
Jenny leaves to search for a skirt and top for Joey and a minute later she comes back holding a red skirt and a pink tee shirt that has the words “Sparklers” across the front in script. “This is our team tee-shirt. Take off your costume and put these on. You’re probably going to have to ask your mom to get you some girls clothes to wear. You can’t wear the same outfit every day.”
A lot of what Jenny is telling him makes Joey nervous. He hadn’t expected to be dressed like a girl all the time and he doubts that his parents were thinking that way either. He supposes it will be okay with them, but it is kind of nerve-wracking to imagine showing up at home with large breasts in a bra and his large hips and rear end coming from his panty girdle. But like Jenny says, if he worries about being seen as a girl, that will prevent him from being a girl. He has to accept the fact that he is going to be a girl for the next month, no matter what anybody else says about him. Always think, I’m a girl. I’m not Joey pretending to be a girl. Thinking and believing that he has a vagina and D cup breasts is going to be very helpful in convincing himself that he’s a girl.
Jenny is also able to find an old pair of Maria’s sandals for Joey to wear. As they walk to Joey’s house side by side, Jenny instructs Joey on taking smaller, feminine steps that match her own, keeping his feet facing forward, swiveling his hips slightly as he walks, holding his hands the way she does. For the first several blocks Jenny has to frequently correct some aspects of Joey’s walking until he begins to self-correct. Joey can see that nothing is better for learning how to walk like a girl, then to imitate a girl as she walks. It proves to be a very effective tool and by the time they arrive at Joey’s house, he is comfortably walking side-by-side with Jenny like they are two girls. “This is wonderful Joey. You now have to keep this up at all times. Even with your mom and dad. In fact, try and imitate your mom as much as you can. I’ll see you tomorrow at the rehearsal, if not sooner in class.”
“I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me,” Joey says.
“Don’t be silly, Joey. You’re the one who is saving the Sparklers. You’re a hero and you’re so brave for becoming a girl! I love you for that!”
Luckily Jenny turns to walk home to her house several blocks away, because her comment makes Joey cry. He is sure that he has never been so happy in his life as now. Jenny says she loves him for becoming a girl. There is no greater incentive in his heart and mind to be a Sparkler than Jenny’s love for him.
***
When Joey enters his house it’s almost dinner time. He hears his mom call to him from the kitchen, “Is that you Joey? Wash up, dinner is in a few minutes.”
“OK, mom,” Joey says, and he goes upstairs to his room and washes his hands and face. He leaves his room to go downstairs and he hears his mom and dad talking in the dining room. He enters the dining room with his new walk, and freezes when he sees the shock on the faces of his mom and dad. “Holy shit!” his father says.
“My God, Joey, you’ve got breasts and their bigger than mine? And your hips? You’ve got girl hips?”
“The girls need me to be a girl if I’m to be a Sparkler. They bought me a padded panty girdle and a bra that can hold my breast forms.”
“Breast forms? What size breast forms?”
“Cathy bought me a 34D bra, because she says that we have to compensate for my flat boy chest.”
“And a padded panty girdle?”
“Yes, mom. I need to have girl hips and a girl bottom.”
“You walked home like this?” his dad says.
“Yes. Jenny is teaching me how to walk like a girl. You see, if the judges realize that I’m a boy, then we’ll never win the championship since they’ll take points off for anything they think is different between me and the girls. The only way to stop that is for me to be no different than the girls.”
“This is so much more than we thought! I thought we were talking about you putting on a costume and dancing. Not living the life of a girl,” Isabel says.
“If I’m not a girl, we cannot win the championship. I have to be a girl.”
“Where did you get the skirt and sandals?”
“They were left by Maria. Her tights and leotard fit me, so I could wear them in practice this afternoon.”
“Jesus, Joey, does any of this bother you?” his dad interrupts.
“The girls don’t give me a chance to be bothered. They’re very strict about what I have to do. I can’t disobey them or they’ll kick me out of the Sparklers and they’ll forfeit the championship. You told me that I had to go all in on this or else not do it. I thought that doing whatever is asked of me is what you meant.” Joey feels like crying and he begins to weep.
“I’ve made you cry?” his dad says.
Joey nods his head and while he cries he imagines that this is what the girls want him to do after what his dad said. He reminds himself that he has a vagina and breasts and his father is this hulking man who can’t understand what girls feel.
Isabel goes over and comforts Joey. “We’re not saying that you’re doing the wrong thing. By all means be as much of a girl as the Sparklers want you to be. In a matter of weeks it’ll be all over anyway.”
***
Later Isabel gets a phone call from Sara. “I’m speaking for all of the moms and dads of the girls in the Sparklers when I say that we’re so thrilled and appreciative of the wonderful job that Joey is doing in becoming a Sparkler girl. And we especially thank you and Lenny for allowing Joey to plunge full time into being a girl.”
“Thank you, Sara,” Isabel says, thinking that if she has the chance she’ll tear Sara apart limb by limb and throw her in the ocean. Instead, she says, “It’s so nice to hear that Joey is doing well and that the Sparklers may succeed because of him.”
“Jenny has been gushing with praise for Joey. We have our fingers crossed that this is going to work out as well as we hoped.”
When she gets off the phone, Isabel shares with Lenny the conversation she has just had.
“That’s great news, though if I had known that they were going to turn Joey into a girl, I don’t think that I would ever have allowed this. Loan be damned.”
“I agree with you,” Isabel says, “but, on the other hand, it’s hopefully a bit more innocent than we think. It’s just like a French immersion program. Throw a kid into it and don’t let them speak any English, and they can become fluent in French in no time. Here, the girls have astutely realized, that only by doing an immersion into girlhood is Joey going to seem like a girl to the judges. If he has to shift back and forth every day between his boy self and pretending he’s a girl, he’ll never become proficient enough as a girl to fool the judges.”
“I suppose you’re right, but it is creepy for Joey to have such large tits. It seems extreme to me.”
“Once again, nothing will help accelerate Joey’s progress toward thinking he’s a girl, then having large breasts. It makes girls feel like girls, I’ll tell you that much.”
“Speaking of breasts,” Lenny says, “how are yours doing?”
“When Joey’s asleep you can inspect them yourself.”
Isabel and Lenny have a good laugh and look forward to their evening activity.
***
The next morning, Joey gets up and dresses in the same outfit he had come home with the day before. When his mom sees him she says, “You’ve got to get another bra and panty girdle, Joey, as well as another skirt or two and a blouse or two. You can’t wear the same underwear and clothes every day for a month!”
“Thank you, mom. I’m sure that Cathy and Jenny will appreciate your help.”
“There’s one other thing. Give me a couple of minutes to put some make up on you.”
“Okay, mom.”
Isabel has Joey sit down at her vanity and she puts some light make up on his face. She works a little with his eyes and also puts some bright red lipstick on his lips. She gives him the lipstick tube and says, “During the day, you can reapply some lipstick. Ask any of the girls and they’ll be able to help you.”
Joey leaves for school making a point to walk the way that Jenny has shown him, and concentrating very hard along the route reminding himself that inside his panty girdle, he has a vagina. He also makes a point of keeping his shoulders back and projecting his breasts forward to make it clear that he is proud to be a girl. And with his pink Sparkler tee shirt, proud to be a Sparkler.
***
When Joey arrives at school, kids stop talking and stare at him when he walks by. Evidently, the entire school has been notified about Joey’s heroic effort to become a Sparkler and admonished to not make fun of him. When Joey reaches his locker and opens it, Teddy Silver comes up to him and says, “You’re Joey that Jenny is always talking about.”
“She is?”
“She’s very happy that you’ve become a girl.”
“I just want to help the Sparklers.”
“How come you’ve got such big tits?”
“Cathy decided that.”
Teddy laughs. “Really? Cathy got to pick how big your tits are?”
“Is that all?”
“You’re wearing makeup and lipstick.”
“I know.”
“Did you put it on?”
“No, my mom did.”
This is the first time that Joey has had a conversation with Teddy and while he’s talking to him he remembers Jenny’s advice that he should heighten his sense of being a girl by noting how Teddy is male and he’s not. Thus, he thinks about Teddy having a penis and wearing undershorts while he has breasts and a vagina and is wearing a bra and panty girdle besides a skirt and blouse. These thoughts make him see how aggressive Teddy is and he realizes that he ought to respond to Teddy the way a girl would. He says, “Why are you so interested in my makeup, Teddy?”
Embarrassed, Teddy falls silent and Joey adds, “Is there anything else you want to say?”
“Just that I wanted to warn you not to use the boy’s bathroom. There are some guys that are gunning for you. Being in the bathroom the way you’re dressed wouldn’t be too smart.”
“Thanks, Teddy,” Joey says. “I appreciate your concern for my safety. I only feel comfortable using the girls bathroom, anyway.”
Joey closes his locker and is going to his first period class when Cathy comes up to him. “I’m glad to see you dressed up. From down the hall I thought you were a new girl in the school until I realized it was you. Who put the makeup on you? You didn’t do it yourself, did you?”
“No, my mom did it.”
“It’s nice. Your face is already girlish and with the makeup, I think the judges in the competition won’t think you’re a boy. That’s a big relief to me. You do have to work on how you hold and move your hands. Your walking is getting pretty girl-like, keep on trying.”
“I have one question for you Cathy. I think I should only go to the girls bathroom from now on, but I’m afraid to go by myself. I was thinking that if one of the Sparklers always went with me, they could tell the other girls not to get mad at me, or throw me out, or tell the principal.”
“Sure, Joey. I’ll let the girls know. Probably one of us is available between classes all day long.”
“That’s such a relief,” Joey says.
“So you understand, of course, that you shouldn’t pee like a boy anymore. Right?”
“Oh, yeah. Last night every time I peed I sat down and I even pretended that I was peeing from my vagina.”
Cathy smiles at Joey. “I’m impressed, Joey. I’m actually starting to feel a little optimistic about our chances.”
“Thank you, Cathy,” Joey says and smiles at her.
"Once you’ve mastered the physical mannerisms of a girl, you need to perfect the emotional state of being a girl.”
“I’m already trying to do that,” Joey says. “Last night my dad was shocked to see that I had such a nice girl’s figure, and he made me cry. I mean, I felt like he was this mean man yelling at his defenseless daughter and I began to cry. I told myself, just cry Joey. Don’t worry what anyone thinks. Just cry, and I did, and I felt happy that I was able to let out the emotion I was feeling.”
Cathy looks thoughtfully at Joey and says, “I can see that. You’re a feminine boy, practically a girl. I think I was at first worried that trying to get you to act like a girl would be like trying to tame a wild bull. But now I see that you’ve never been a masculine boy, so it’s a lot more feasible for you to become a girl. You already have innate girl instincts in you. Obviously, Jenny has always seen that about you. That’s why she’s been so optimistic that this is going to work.”
So Jenny thinks he’s half a girl already, Joey thinks. How is he ever going to become her boyfriend if she thinks about him that way? And now that he’s becoming a girl, Jenny will never see him as a boy that she could seriously date. Maybe joining the Sparklers is a big mistake that will take him even further away from Jenny.
***
First period, Joey has science with Mrs. Crystal. He takes his seat at the lab table that he shares with Debbie, Ellen and Ann. His tablemates are fascinated by the change. “Why do you want to be a girl?” Ann asks him.
“I didn’t want to be a girl. I just wanted to help out the Sparklers.,” Joey says.
“That’s not what I heard. Everyone in the school thinks that you always wanted to be a girl, and you’re using this as an excuse to pretend that you’re one.”
“But I’ve always been a boy. When did anyone think I wanted to be a girl?”
“You went from no bra to a boy wearing a 34D bra and breasts bigger than most girls in the school. There’s like five girls maybe that have bigger breasts than you. And you walk showing them off. It’s like you just love flaunting the fact that you look like a girl now.”
“But it was Cathy who bought me my bra! She never asked me what size bra I should wear. I would have preferred to wear an A cup bra. These large breasts of mine are kind of heavy, and they make me feel like all the boys are staring at me. But Cathy says that is good for helping me to feel the way that girls feel.”
“I believe you, Joey, but there are girls in the school who want to put you in your place.”
“What do you mean?”
“They think that you’re showing off. Like you want to prove that boys can be better girls than girls can be. They intend to show you that your wrong about that.”
“But I don’t think I’m better!”
“We’re just warning you to watch your back. Whatever you do, don’t go in the girls bathroom.”
“What if I go in with one of the Sparklers.”
“If they’re willing to protect you, you might be safe.”
“Thanks for letting me know.”
***
By midday Joey has to pee and before lunch he sees Jenny and asks her if she would accompany him to the girls bathroom. “Sure, Joey,” she says and they go into one of the bathrooms together. It is foreign to Joey’s experience to see a row of stalls and no urinals. The bathroom isn’t crowded and they find two stalls, side by side.
Joey can see Jenny’s ankles underneath the partition. A few seconds later he sees her jeans fall down and then her panties. Jenny says from the next stall, “Lift your skirt up, then lower your panty girdle and then pee sitting there.”
Even though Joey pretty much already knew that that is what he has to do, he says, “Thanks, Jenny. I’ve been concentrating non-stop on believing that I have a vagina.”
“It shows, Joey. You seem more and more girl-like every time I see you.”
When they are done peeing, they both flush their toilets and in front of the mirror wash their hands, Joey feels a little courageous and says, “I hope you never hold my being a girl against me.”
“Why would I do that?” Jenny says.
“I guess I don’t know if girls can ever like me if I were to go back to being a boy again.”
“I can see how hard this is for you,” Jenny says. “But thinking about that right now is counterproductive. You have to think like a girl, like you’ve always been a girl, and will always be a girl. Remove from your mind any thought that you could once again become a boy. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Jenny.”
“This is why we emphasize over and over again your imagining that you have a vagina. When you truly believe that you have one, for example, if someone were to ask you if you had one and you automatically say “yes, of course, I do, I’m a girl,” then you’re going to definitely succeed at being the Sparkler we need to win the championship.”
“I see.”
“As I’ve said before, you should imagine that your bra is filled with your real boobs. Visualize having large breasts that you put into your bra every day. When you walk around, imagine that your breasts are slightly swinging inside your bra. Imagine that your nipples are large. These are the kinds of thoughts that will immerse you fully in being a girl.”
“OK, Jenny. I’m sorry. I won’t mention anything to do with my ever having been a boy again.”
“When I walk you home again today, I think we have to discuss ways to help you be more feminine.”
“Okay, Jenny. Whatever you think will help me be a better girl.”
***
At the end of classes, Joey goes to the Sparkler room for dance practice. He puts on his tights and leotard and joins in with the girls. In their first pass through the dance routine, Joey makes only a couple of mistakes. By the time they have gone through it a half-dozen times, he no longer makes mistakes and he has internalized exactly what he is supposed to do as the music plays. “This is super,” Cathy says. “I think a lot of your movements are girl-like but not all and not all perfectly. You’ve got to be a bit more delicate, almost tentative. Girls don’t reach out and grab things. They envelop things with their hands before they pick them up.”
“When Joey’s fingernails fully grow out and he has pink polish on them, then I think he’ll be a lot more aware that he shouldn’t grab things, the way boys do.”
“Good point, Jenny,” Cathy says.
“I also told Joey that I’ll be working specially on femininizing him. You know the small things he needs to do to bring out the girl in him.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Cathy says.
“Anybody who has ideas on things we can do to help feminize Joey, please feel free to share them with us.”
***
Jenny walks Joey home once again to give him more practice in imitating her girl-like movements. Joey readily accepts all of Jenny’s advice on being more feminine. “Another thing to think about, Joey, is that masculinity wouldn’t exist without femininity and vice versa. It takes one to be able to define the alternative. So what I’m saying is that the more you realize that you’re different than boys, the more you’ll feel feminine. This is what almost defines femininity. So, for example, when you imagine you have a vagina and breasts, think how that makes you feminine and part of the sisterhood and the antithesis of boys that have neither of these things. Think of all the ways that men behave with their muscles and realize that you’re different because you’re a girl. Even more, you can think about how sexy big muscles are and how much boys might desire you because you don’t have big muscles and because you do have a vagina and breasts.”
“I have been trying to do that, and I think I’m getting better and better at it. Like, when I’m near boys, I start to automatically see myself as being a girl. I imagine them asking me out on a date or trying to kiss me. I even sometimes think of how they’d love to see me in a bra and panty girdle.”
“That’s great, Joey, and it’s wonderful to know how the Sparklers can count on you to do your best.”
The chance to talk one on one with Jenny is a high point of Joey’s day and he feels like the two of them are finding out that they have a lot in common. They think alike on many things and share many interests. If his femininization is going to be a problem for him later, when he goes back to being a boy, he’ll just have to deal with that then. Right now, everything is going so well, he doesn’t want to do anything that will distract himself from helping the Sparklers win the championship.
When Joey gets home he finds an assortment of girls’ clothing on his bed that his mom has bought for him. Some bras, padded panty girdles, skirts and blouses and stockings and shoes. He finds his mom sitting in her sewing alcove and thanks her. “I love the clothes you bought for me mom. I’m sure the girls are going to love them also.”
Isabel smiles at Joey, “That’s good to hear. Now you have some freedom to change outfits each day. Mix and match your skirts and blouses. Change your bra every few days and change your panty girdle more often. How is your dancing coming along?”
“Today we did the routine with the leotards and by the end of the time it was perfect. I know my entire part. Let me show you!” Joey dances around the room showing all the steps and his mom is amazed by his ability and how nicely he looks. He very much almost looks like a girl dancing. A few more adjustments will make him a perfect girl. She figures that the Sparklers are all on top of that and they will have all the wrinkles ironed out by the time of the championship.
***
On the weekend, Joey has his hair and nails done and a serious effort is made to devise the best possible makeup to feminize his face. By the time the ladies are done with him, he can no longer easily pass for a boy, and apart from some of his body motions, anyone would think he was a girl. Joey is very much pleased with having long pink fingernails that match those of the other girls, and he likes the cute feminine hairstyle that he is given at the beauty salon. It makes him feel pretty and it energizes him. He especially likes feeling pretty in that way that only girls can feel pretty. That is one aspect of being a girl that he is increasingly growing to love.
The rehearsals on the weekend and during the next several weeks cover two more dances besides the one where Joey wears his leotard. In one of these the Sparklers wear light blue tights and light blue tutu skirts, and in the other, they wear country western style pink dresses with large pink crinolines underneath. Joey proves to be a quick learner and in no time he can dance all three dances in his sleep. This allows the Sparklers to concentrate their efforts on the finest details of each dance. Refinements in finger, hand and leg position. Slight changes to the choreography. With a week before the championships, the Sparklers hold a meeting to discuss what else they need to work on. The only issue, one which they have been working on from the moment Joey joined the Sparklers, is to coax ever more feminine behavior from him. It isn’t clear to the girls that he isn’t feminine enough, but it seems like that it wouldn’t hurt to continue their efforts in this direction.
For the most part Joey no longer is the center of attention as he walks from class to class in the school. Some of the tough boys had threatened him during the first week he was a girl, but that subsided after Jenny got Teddy to talk to them. Joey has more to fear from some of the girls who resent his large breasts, but the Sparklers developed a schedule that keeps a close eye on Joey that prevents him from being cornered by the mean girls.
Joey’s mom and dad have also gotten acclimated to his feminine presence in the house. Isabel, though she will never say it to her husband, thinks it pretty nice that she has a daughter now. It is a nice switch from having a son. She feels that there are many things she can say to Joey, girl to girl, that she couldn’t say to him when he was a boy. She also gets vicarious pleasure from dressing up Joey as a girl. It is fun when shopping to see things that she can buy for her daughter, like a new purse or a nightie, something pretty that she can give Joey and see his pleasure. It seems that anything that Joey feels will help him be more feminine is something he likes getting. He is very determined that the Sparklers should win the championship.
***
During the week before the championship, the girls work very hard on their routines and it is generally hard to pick Joey out as not being a girl. He feels pretty confident that the competition will go well. But the thought that the competition will arrive, means that he’ll no longer have a need to be a Sparkler, or pretend he is a girl, and this is depressing. He enjoys being a girl now, and doesn’t want to ever give up his breasts and his bottom and all the nice things that come with being a girl. As is their habit, Jenny walks Joey home after practice every day. An observer would not see them as being anything other than two girls walking and chatting together. One of the days, Jenny says, “You know Joey, girls can be anywhere from hopelessly feminine like a Barbie to totally tough as any man, and men also can go from very effeminate to super macho. On the whole, girls tend toward the feminine side and men tend toward the masculine side. Before you joined the Sparklers, I think it’s accurate to say that you were on the feminine side of boys, but on the masculine side of girls. Now, looking at you, I’d have to say that you’re now almost as feminine as any of us girls. That’s how effective your positive attitude has been in wanting to learn all there is to be a girl.”
“Thank you, Jenny.”
“I was asking myself how you could become even more of a girl and then it occurred to me that we could use some role-playing games to help you cross over to being perhaps a very feminine girl. I mean a girl that is even more feminine than most girls.”
“You really think that’s possible?”
“Yes, I do. How about you come over to my house after dinner tonight, and in the meantime I’ll figure out some games we can play. How’s that?”
“I’ll ask my parents if it’s okay.”
“Good.”
***
That night, after dinner Joey walks the five blocks to Jenny’s house. This is the first time he has ever been there and he is excited. In some ways, he feels that all the time that he and Jenny have been together over the last few weeks has cemented their friendship. So much so that he feels that they will always be friends. That means that in some ways he’ll be competing with Teddy for Jenny’s affection. If he is lucky, she will end her relationship with Teddy and go with him instead. It is kind of a crazy thought. Teddy offers her a handsome football hero and he offers her a girl fashioned out of a boy.
Sara lets Joey in and says, “My oh my, Joey you’re very pretty, and with such a nice figure. Jenny’s been telling me what a talented dancer you are.”
“Thank you,” Joey says, blushing.
“Tell your mother how thrilled we are that you’ve become a Sparkler. We are all so grateful for your courage.”
“Sure,” Joey says coyly.
“Jenny’s expecting you. Go right up the stairs and you can’t miss her bedroom.”
Joey finds his way to Jenny’s bedroom and enters. She closes the door behind him and says, “This is so great. I’m glad you’ve come. I think I may have come up with some really nice ways to help you round out your experiences as a girl. This can only help you behave more naturally as a girl in the future. First thing is we dress you up pretty, so take off your blouse and skirt and put these crinolines on.” Jenny points to a tutu skirt with a dozen layers of light pink tulle that lies on her bed.
Joey steps out of his skirt and takes off his pink Sparklers tee shirt and steps into the crinoline and moves it up to his waist. Jenny takes a fancy light pink dress out of her closet and after telling Joey to hold his arms up, lowers the dress over his head and arms and then zips it up his back. The dress skirt extends to the edge of the crinolines and floats above them so that Joey feels like he is in the center of a pretty pink circle. “Look in the mirror,” Jenny says, setting a full-length mirror against the wall in front of him. “See how darling you look.”
Joey sees himself in the pretty dress floating around his legs with the crinolines peeking out.
“Now put these on,” Jenny says giving him a pair of frilly light pink socks that match the dress. Joey puts the socks on. “Now walk over to my bed and sit down on it. While you’re doing that think of being dainty. Imagine you’re unbelievably delicate and take small steps, move slowly and then hold out your skirts and then lower down gently on the bed.”
Joey takes some small steps and sits down on the bed and Jenny says, “No. Get up and try again. The idea is to be over the top delicate and graceful. Imagine you’re a princess of extraordinary beauty and you’re going to float over to the bed and then majestically and slowly spread out your skirts and sit. Graceful and delicate and feminine. Try that.”
Joey once again tries to move the way that Jenny asks and she says, “Better, but try again. In fact, I’ll watch you do this ten times. Each time try and be a bit more of a princess than the last time. Think of your vagina and breasts. Think of your vagina in your panty girdle moving across the room and then settling down on the bed. Your little slit lying there sweetly in your panty girdle. Your breasts filling out your bra and patiently sitting there on your chest facing the world. Your thin arms delicately hovering over your skirts.”
Joey now walks across the room and then starts his march to the bed and sitting down. Each time he does it, he gets up and starts over again. He feels himself understanding a bit more of what Jenny is getting at each time he does it. Finally, Jenny tells him that he is almost perfect. He is beginning to look like a little angel floating across the room and sitting down. He does the ten repetitions and she tells him to do ten more now that it is looking so perfect. Joey continues along now until he is done.
“I’m so pleased!” Jenny says and she gives Joey a hug. “Now while you’re sitting here so prettily move over and sit back against the pillows.” While Joey does that, Jenny fetches a life-sized baby doll that is swaddled in diapers and a pink nightie, and hands it to Joey. “It’s your baby Joey! Handle it like it’s real.”
Joey carefully takes the baby from Jenny and she says, “Now hold it like you’re the mommy and this is your baby girl. Hold it against your breasts.” Joey does as Jenny says. He holds the baby as he imagines a mother would and Jenny steps in to correct him. “Good, Joey. You’re the mommy, this is your baby, and you’re loving it and taking care of it. This is a time to be as feminine as possible. Let me see you do this.”
Joey cradles the baby lovingly. He lays it in his lap and stares at its face and otherwise takes possession. He picks it up and holds it against his chest. “Look at it lovingly, Joey. Show your love for your baby. Good, good.” Joey does everything he can to try and tenderly hold and love the baby until Jenny is pleased. Jenny fetches a bottle and has Joey feed the baby which then wets itself. He then changes the diaper with Jenny instructing him what to do. The whole time Joey emphasizes being as much like a mother as he can be.
“Do you see what it feels like to be feminine in the way that mothers are?”
“Yes,” Joey says.
“Right now, I hope that every last bit of maleness has been removed from you. Is that true? Do you feel a hundred percent that you’re a girl inside? Do you see yourself as being a girl?”
“Yes, Jenny. I feel sure that I’m a girl. I only want to do girl things from now on. I want to be friends with girls and do whatever they do.”
“What about boys?”
Joey laughs and says, “I might have a boyfriend. But he better be nice to me. He better not be mean.”
Jenny gets up and sits down beside Joey after lifting up his crinolines so she won’t be sitting on them. She puts her arm around Joey’s back and turns her head towards him. She leans in and silently places her lips on Joey’s cheek and kisses him. She sits up again and says, “This has been wonderful. I think your parents are going to want you home now. I’ll unzip the dress.”
There are a thousand things that Joey wants to say to Jenny, but he is too shell shocked to say anything. He silently takes off the clothes she had dressed him in and puts on his own skirt and blouse and then goes down the stairs and out. As he walks home he thinks about the kiss. He would like to think that it means that she’s flirting with him, but it was on his cheek and not his lips. Perhaps it’s the kind of kiss that two girls give to each other. Really close girlfriends. Even though he wants to be her boyfriend, just being one of her best girlfriends might be almost as good. And then there is Teddy. Would he not care if Jenny has him as her best girlfriend? The one thing that is certain after this evening is he knows that his femininization is complete. He knows inside his heart and mind now that he’s a girl. Whatever little slivers of boyhood he had left in his mind have been erased by acting out the scenes that Jenny has put him through. He can feel inside natural desires to do feminine things. He laughs to himself with the realization that from now on he’ll never think of not putting on his bra every day. It is a natural reflex driven by a need to secure the breasts that he imagines he has on his chest. If that is a telltale sign of his being a girl, then he is indeed now a girl.
Most happily of all, he knows that he is going to put on a great show dancing in a few days and the Sparklers are going to win the championship. And after that? He has no idea, except the knowledge that he’s not going to want to rediscover his boyhood. That might freak out his parents and it also means that he’ll always be Jenny’s girlfriend with no chance of ever becoming her boyfriend.
***
The dance competition is being held in a city fifty miles from where the Sparklers live. Joey’s mom and dad drive him there. When they arrive at the competition hotel they discover that the girls do not have single rooms, but are instead to sleep, two to a room. Joey finds out that his roommate is to be Jenny. Isabel and Lenny are somewhat taken aback that a boy and a girl are being put in the same room, until it is explained to them that this is the only way to guarantee that no suspicion is raised concerning Joey’s gender. Rumors would fly among the contestants if he is isolated from the girls. “You don’t mind, Joey?” his mom asks him.
“No, mom. Jenny and I are good friends.”
“Yes, but what about her boyfriend, what’s his name, Teddy?”
“I’m just another girl to Teddy,” Joey says.
When Joey goes to his room, Jenny is there already. “I can’t believe we get to be roommates,” Joey says.
“It’s my fault,” Jenny says. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind? You must be kidding me!”
Joey realizes that there is a single queen-sized bed and he says, “You can have the bed, of course. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“Why wouldn’t two girls share the bed?” Jenny says.
“You’re right! I’m so sorry,” Joey says.
“It’s okay. But right now, we’re to meet with the other girls for our last rehearsal and pep rally before the competition tomorrow.”
***
After the rehearsal the girls eat early so that they can get a good night’s rest before the grueling tournament the next day. Both Joey and Jenny are tired from their trip and the rehearsal so that the nervous energy they would normally have had before a big competition is diffused. As they get ready for bed Jenny puts on girl pajamas and Joey puts on a light blue nightie. Jenny laughs and says, “You’ve become more of a girl than me.”
“I’m sorry, is that bad?” Joey says, alarmed.
“Not at all. I like it like that. You know I love your femininity.”
They get into bed together and turn out the lights. In the dark Jenny leans over and gives Joey a small kiss on the cheek and says, “Good luck in the competition tomorrow!”
“Same to you,” Joey says. His second kiss with Jenny,. He has never felt so happy as he does feeling her warm presence next to him, and in short order he is asleep.
***
To get ready for the competition, Joey’s mom comes to his room to help him use adhesive to attach his breast forms to his chest. The idea is that this adds a slightly greater degree of realism in comparison to having his breasts be held only by his bra. This will also be helpful that evening for the banquet since his gown is strapless and he has to wear a strapless bra with it. Being able to walk around his hotel room with his large breasts not being held up by a bra helps Joey eliminate one of the last barriers that differentiates him from the other girls. He delights in being able to put on his bra without the need to retrofit his breasts like he has been doing up to this point.
The Sparklers perform three times during the day showing off their dances. In one dance they wear leotards, in another their tutu skirts and the last one is in their country-western dresses. The girls feel confident and do not think that they have any significant slip-ups. In particular, they feel that Joey has danced flawlessly and certainly none of the judges can suspect that he’s a boy. Isabel, Lenny, Sara and the other parents are jumping for joy and cheering at the end of the Sparklers’ last performance. That night, at a banquet, the winner is to be announced.
***
Isabel bought Joey a pretty strapless gown especially for the banquet. Part of her motivation was to show Sara how beautiful Joey could be as a girl. In fact, just as beautiful as Jenny. She and Joey had a lot of fun searching for a banquet dress. He must have tried on twenty dresses until finally they decided on one that is pale orange with a subdued floral pattern within the soft fabric. It’s designed to cling to Joey’s body showing off his curves. Isabel also got Joey matching shoes with mid-height heels. In their room together before the banquet, Jenny and Joey get dressed together. Joey is expert in doing his hair and makeup and in getting himself into his gown. He wears shear pantyhose for the occasion and a touch of a lilac perfume.
After all the girls are dressed and ready, they meet outside their rooms and excitedly walk into the banquet room together to sit at a large circular table. The girls they competed against occupy many other tables and the parents and guests fill up the rest of the large hall. Joey sits between Jenny and Cathy and says, “I’m so nervous.”
“Cathy and I were at the championships last year,” Jenny says, “and we were both very nervous, weren’t we?”
Cathy laughed, “I could barely eat, and then when we didn’t win, we all cried.”
“It was an emotional wringer,” Jenny says, “but here we are again!”
“No matter whether we win or lose, I know I’m going to cry,” Joey says and Jenny and Cathy laugh with him.
During the dinner, Joey glances over at many of the other tables of girls. They are all dressed as nicely as he and the other Sparklers. Within each group of girls there are hopes and dreams of winning. He has seen some of their dances and he knows it is going to be hard for the judges to decide on an overall winner. After the main course, Joey gets up to find the ladies room. He clutches a small purse that his mom loaned him. In it he has a hairbrush and some make up. As he makes his way through the large hall he decides to first head toward the table where his mom and dad are sitting with some of the other parents, including Sara. His parents seem to be in an unusually good mood when he arrives at their table and stands next to his dad. “Aren’t you pretty!” his dad says and gives Joey a mighty hug. “We’re so proud of the way you danced today!”
“Thanks daddy, that means so much to me!” Joey says, choking up at the thought that his father actually thinks he is pretty. This may mean that his parents won’t be upset if and when he tells them that he doesn’t want to be a boy again. Of course, to a large extent what he actually decides to do depends on what Jenny wants. If she wants him to be a boy again so that he can be her boyfriend, then he would do it.
“I don’t see how the Sparklers can’t win!” Isabel says.
“Joey is an amazing dancer. He single-handedly saved the Sparklers from terrible disappointment and no matter what the final outcome, we are so appreciative,” Sara says.
The parents at the table give Joey a round of applause and he blushes crimson. He resumes his journey to the restroom and when he gets there, he joins a line of girls waiting for a stall. They are all dressed as lovely as he is and a girl behind him online complements him on his dress. He asks her about her team and where she comes from. When Joey says that he is a Sparkler, the girl says, “I think your team is going to win, to tell you the truth.”
“That’s kind of you to say,” Joey says, elated to hear that others share his own feelings about the Sparklers.
When a stall opens up, Joey enters, closes the door and hikes up his dress, lowers his pantyhose and panty girdle and sits down to pee. He instinctively takes some paper to dry himself when he’s done, the way Jenny taught him to do. When he finishes he fixes himself back up, goes out to the sinks, washes his hands and then joins several other girls brushing their hair and applying some makeup. He walks back to his table and joins the girls. Dessert has been served in his absence and the award presentation will follow shortly.
“My parents seem crazy happy tonight,” Joey says to Jenny. “My father even hugged me and told me how pretty I am.”
“I bet they’re extra happy because my mom approved their loan today, and she must have told them about it.”
“Loan?” Joey says.
“My mom is the loan officer at the bank who has to decide on approving their loan.”
“She approved it today?”
“I guess it’s a coincidence that it happened at the championship.”
Suddenly it becomes clear to Joey why his parents allowed him to become a girl and join the Sparklers. They were willing to sacrifice his boyhood and his standing at Finch High School in order to get their loan. His becoming a Sparkler was never about him volunteering to be helpful to the school. They traded their son for a daughter for a month without any regard to his future, in order to make Jenny’s mom Sara approve their loan. So what if the kids at school treat him like he’s a Martian. So what if he’ll never have a chance of being Jenny’s boyfriend. His parents might think that they only had to sacrifice him for a month, but the reality is that it will be permanent, unless Jenny says otherwise, of course. Joey now identifies exclusively as being a girl, and has no desire to be a boy again. There is no way that he is going to give up his panty girdles, his bras, his hose, his dresses and skirts and blouses. He can’t stand the thought of wearing boy’s clothes again. He’ll be a girl for the rest of his life.
Jenny asks Joey, “Is anything the matter?”
“I’m sorry, I was just thinking about my future.”
“Future?”
“You know.”
“About your still being a Sparkler?”
“Yes, and also about staying a girl.”
“Do you want to be a boy again?”
“No, well I could be if I had to, I guess.” Joey feels a need to keep the door open to boyhood in case Jenny needs that from him.
“You mean your parents might make you be a boy again?”
“They might, but that’s not the reason I was thinking about.”
Jenny gives Joey a puzzled look and then someone steps up to a microphone and tells everyone to get to their seats. The awards ceremony is about to begin.
***
Joey most remembers the screams after the chief judge of the competition announces: “I am honored to say that the Finch High School Sparklers are this year’s grand champions.” Jenny, Cathy and the other girls jump to their feet screaming and Joey joins them. The ten girls jump up and down and then are ushered up to the stage to be given their first-place medals. Joey stands with the other girls feeling happier than he has ever felt in his life. Tears of joys stream down his cheeks ruining his makeup. A bright, shiny gold medallion held by a colorful sash is put around Joey’s neck. On one side is a picture of ten girls dancing, the title of the competition and a date. On the back is space for engraving the names of the Sparklers that will be done in the next few days.
When Joey gets down from the stage his mom and dad run up to congratulate him and give him a hug. “We’re so proud!” Isabel and Lenny say. Sara comes over to give Joey a hug also and says, “You’re the hero. Finch High School is totally indebted to you.”
“Thank you, thank you,” Joey says. “I’m very happy that I volunteered to help out the Sparklers. It’s been the most fun time of my life!”
***
On the ride home, Joey’s dad says, “This has been one hell of a month. I’ll bet you’ll be glad to finally get back to being Joey.”
“What do you mean, dad?”
“Back to being your normal self. A boy, our son.”
“I don’t think that I want to be a boy again.”
“Are you crazy?” Lenny says, almost driving off the road.
“No, dad. I like being a girl. I prefer being a girl. I hate being a boy.”
“Well tough luck, mister.”
“Lenny,” Isabel says, “Joey is still excited about winning the dance competition. Give him some time to come down from his high and be realistic.”
“The only way I’ll be a boy again, is if Jenny says she’ll be my girlfriend if I go back to being a boy.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Lenny says. “In any event, we’re going to take away all your girl clothes and you’ll have no choice but to be a boy again.”
“Let’s see, mom and dad. There’s one little thing that you hid from me that makes you a hypocrite.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you encouraging me to be a Sparkler so you could get your loan. You sacrificed my boyhood for the loan. So you have no right to sacrifice my girlhood so as to undo what you’re responsible for in the first place. You made me a girl, now you have to live with me being a girl!”
“We didn’t want to do that,” Isabel says, “but we had to get the loan.”
“You made your deal with the devil so now I’m a girl. You can’t take that away from me!”
***
A welcome rally for the Sparklers is held at Finch High School. Later, at the end of the day, the Sparklers meet in their room to talk about their plans for next year. Some of the girls are graduating and they’ll have to be replaced. “What about you, Joey?” Cathy asks. “Do you still want to be a Sparkler, or are you going back to being a boy?”
Joey looks at Jenny for a clue as to how he might answer this. If she wants him to be her boyfriend then she won’t want him to be a Sparkler. Jenny says, “Well I for one hope you’ll still be a Sparkler next year. We really need you!” The other girls second Jenny’s statement and Joey feels deflated and has to fight back tears. The handwriting is on the wall: Jenny is not considering him as being a potential boyfriend.
After the meeting, Joey is planning on walking home with Jenny, when Teddy shows up unexpectedly. As usual he looks at Joey with a smirk that seems to suggest that he thinks the concept of Joey being dressed as a girl is humorous. “I’m here to walk you home,” Teddy says to Jenny.
“Joey can walk with us,” Jenny says.
Teddy makes a face but says, “Sure.”
They start out and almost immediately Teddy says to Joey, “I thought you’d be back to being a boy as soon as the Sparklers didn’t need you.”
Joey doesn’t know what to say and then says, “I think I’m going to be a Sparkler next year.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. A girl with a dick? No guy is ever going to want you as a girlfriend and you’ll never find a girl who wants a boy pretending he’s a girl.”
Joey begins to cry. What Teddy is saying is probably true and now he’s never going to find a girl or a boy who would go steady with him.
“What are you crying for? What a baby,” Teddy says.
“Don’t make fun of Joey and you don’t know what you’re talking about. There are plenty of girls who might want someone like Joey to be their boyfriend.”
“Bullshit, Jenny. Girls like guys that are guys. The tougher the guy, the more girls go for them. It’s a fact of nature.”
“You’re delusional, Teddy,” Jenny says.
“Oh, really? You’ve always gone out with me because I’m on the football team.”
“Now you’re crazy,” Jenny says. “I’ve dated you all these years because I thought you were cute and fun to be with.”
“And because I have a real prick and not like Joey here.”
“That’s not nice,” Jenny says. “Why do you go out with me?”
“Cause your hot. You’ve always been hot.”
“What about my dancing?”
“You’re dancing is okay, but let’s face it, it’s just a bunch of girls doing some kicks and jumping around.
“You’re an idiot, Teddy. I’m so sick of you.”
“I am a hundred times sicker of you,” Teddy says.
We stop walking and Teddy and Jenny glower at each other. “We’re done, Teddy, and this time for real!”
“Thank God,” I’m so happy now!” Teddy says and he turns and walks away.
Jenny stares after him and says to Joey, “I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally be rid of that creep. Can you imagine that? I’m supposed to be so impressed because he plays football and he dismisses the Sparklers as just a bunch of girls kicking!”
They resume walking and after awhile Joey says, “Did you mean it when you said that some girls would like boys that are pretending to be girls?”
“Yes, I did.”
Joey desperately wants to say to Jenny, “Are you that kind of girl?”, but is too scared.
They get to Joey’s house and Joey feels sad that this magical day of celebration with Jenny and the other Sparklers is over. “Well, here’s my house,” Joey says.
“You seem sad, Joey,” Jenny says.
“I’ve liked being with the Sparklers every day,” Joey says, and then summons up his courage to add, “and especially you.”
“How sweet,” Jenny says. “I’ve loved being with you too, Joey, and I hope we can continue to be friends.”
Joey starts to cry and Jenny says, “What’s the matter Joey. I don’t think you’re telling me everything.”
“It’s just … have you and Teddy broken up?”
“Yes. You saw what an egotistical dunce he is firsthand.”
“Well, please don’t hate me for saying this, but I’ve wanted to be your boyfriend for as long as I can remember …” Jenny smiles at Joey and puts her arms around his shoulders. “But now I’m a girl!”
“So you can’t be my boyfriend?” Jenny asks.
“Yes! I love being a girl, but I’d become a boy again if it meant I could be your boyfriend! Do you see my dilemma?”
Jenny laughs and says, “Sorry for laughing, Joey, but how can I say this?” Jenny stares at Joey for a minute and then takes his head in her hands and moves her lips into his and gives him a long deep kiss. When she breaks it off they look into each other’s eyes and Jenny says, “I don’t want you to become a boy again. I love you exactly how you are now.”
“You do?”
“I always assumed that since you’ve become a girl that you’d want to find yourself a nice boyfriend. I kept hoping that you’d want to stay being a girl because I realized that I’d much rather have my boyfriend be a girl than a boy. I love how feminine you are, even more feminine than me, and yet you have boy equipment that I also want my boyfriend to have. So I get the best of both worlds.”
“I’m so happy I could burst,” Joey says.
“I’ve never been inside your house,” Jenny says.
“Great idea. Let me show you.”
Joey takes Jenny into his house, where they greet Isabel. “Jenny’s never been here before. I want to show her my room.”
“Of course, Joey. Say hello to your mom for me,” Isabel says.
“I will.”
They go to Joey’s bedroom and sit down on the bed. Jenny puts her arm across Joey’s shoulder and says, “Now, Joey, let’s make it official. I want you to be my steady boyfriend!”
“Yes, yes, Jenny. I love you so much,” Joey says.
Once again they kiss and while they do, Joey feels Jenny’s hand on his breasts and then sneaking up his skirt toward his panty girdle.
The End
Comments
Well things ended nicely for
Well things ended nicely for Joey even though his parents sold him down the river for a loan. not that Jenny's mom Sara was much nicer for holding the loan over their heads to get them to agree to it.
They all got their wishes
There must be some way to prove Sara blackmailed Isabel and Lenny with getting the loan only if Joey joined the Sparklers. Do so in a way that doesn't come back and bite the Sparklers. Maybe if Isabel just kicks her butt would be enough. Either way, they've lost whatever respect they has for Sara.
It seemed Joey decided to help the Sparklers because he'd have a chance to be near Jenny. But was that the only reason? Was there more he didn't want to admit even to himself? He did, after all, take to becoming feminine awfully quick. And he did like what he was wearing. So maybe there is more than just helping the Sparklers.
Not every football player has a Teddy attitude, but enough do to give all the players a bad name. Somehow they develop this god like attitude thinking they are the hottest boys on campus. They forget that they don't live on the field but in the real world, where people who don't care about football will judge their every action. And see the real person off the field.
Teddy's real self came out when Jenny stuck up for Joey, and his real reason for dating her. Thanks to Joey becoming a Sparkler, and finding out he won't go back to being a boy, he helped Jenny see two truths. Teddy's current attitude made him a royal pig. And Joey was who Jenny had been looking for.
Lenny was sure ticked off hearing what Joey was going to do, but had to back off when Joey confronted him about the true reason they let Joey become a Sparkler. The story doesn't say, but might Joey have lost a bit of respect for his parents because of their deception and selfish act? Or might that thought not have crossed her mind because Joey finally got her wish? In duplicate?
Others have feelings too.