*Chapter 20*
Fan Mail

 
For some reason I decided to check my emails after Max left, I'm not the most regular computer user, I'm not one of those, what is it Luddles,1 but away from school stuff I've usually got too much going on to spend time sat in front of the screen. Oh I check for emails maybe a couple of times a week but I tend to use text on the Handy more these days.

How many? I clicked down the list, junk, junk, maybe, junk, junk, huh?, junk. By the end of my first pass fifty emails were reduced to six that weren’t promoting Viagra, breast enlargement or other equally unwanted services – where do they get my address from? The remaining mails were at least worthy of a look tonight.

• Click – dur dur dur – expect to see you Monday – bum, I forgot about the English tutoring at Silverberg.
• Click – Hi Gab, blah blah blah, see you next weekend, Bern – I quickly typed a reply and hit send, it’ll be cool seeing the Rose’s again.
• Click – Dear Fräulein Bond, dur, dur, dur – oh right it’s from that model shop Ron took me to, I signed up for their newsletters. I looked down the list of stuff, hmm, might have to check out some of the new stuff.
• Click – Dear Gaby, er I hope you don’t mind me using Gaby, you probably don’t remember me, we met in York at the BCLA dinner? Well anyway, I saw you racing today, that was awesome, you really showed those boys how to ride! Hope you enjoyed your visit, Mary Davis.

Mary Davis, who she and how did she get my email? BLCA, oh it’s that girl!

Let’s see now,
Dear Mary, thanks for your email, it was a great weekend, we really enjoyed the trip and winning was an added bonus. Were you on the Rosedale climb? That was really tough, the cheering really helped. Hmm, what else? Oh right, I hope you are having some success with your riding and get some PB’s – she rides time trials mostly if I remember rightly.
Hmm, think that’ll do, I signed it and hit send.

The other two mails were actually sales junk from a book seller I got some manga from and a flyer for the next Con – in Manchester! Remember that trip with Mad and Aunt Carol? Geez that seems like forever ago – well I guess we were still living in Warsop then so it is quite a while back. Oh well, I closed the computer down and got ready for bed.
 
"You want a lift this morning?” Dad offered when I stumbled yawning into the kitchen.
"Hmm, please,” I replied opening the fridge, “need to go shopping.”
"If you can drag yourself away from your boyfriend for a bit we can go this afternoon.”

Oh yeah, now that was embarrassing. Last night, Dad and Max, talk about cringe, poor Max got the full on lecture about dating a Bond girl. When he started with that ‘I don’t want to be a grandpa yet’ stuff I nearly died, I mean Dad was just about saying we should, you know, do the sex thing.

I may be okay with kissing, a lot okay in fact, even a bit of er groping about but ‘third base’ - that is so not happening! Max stoically sat through Dad’s presentation, he was nearly as pink as me by the time he excused himself to ride home. I'll have to apologise when I see him later.

"Er okay,” I agreed.
"Things all set for Saturday?”
"I think so, Eva and Christina are bringing the crepe trailer, Hen’s dropping stuff off tomorrow, all the girls’ll be working, should be good, kinda wish I was riding.”
"Marshal’s regret.”
"Eh?”
"That’s what your mother calls it, you get roped into helping out at an event, marshalling or something then it turns out perfect weather or you’ve been pinging all week.”
"I get it, still.”
"You can’t ride everything, kiddo,” he pointed out, "You training straight from the kiosk?”
"Was going to.”
"Finish your Fruhstück, I'll put your bike in the bus.”
 
"I kid you not.”
"Seriously? I can’t imagine papa doing that,” Con stated.
"When he went on about, you know," *I made quotation marks in the air before going on, “’being careful’, I wanted to crawl under a rock.”
"I bet.”
“As if I'm ever doing that!”
"What, ever?”
"You’re still a virgin?”
"Well duh! Although technically I'm not, you know with the ‘reconstruction’ stuff.”
"TMI.”
"If Max thinks we’re gonna do that stuff he’s got another thing coming.”
"Gott, you sound like Maria,” Con opined.

You won’t know Maria, she was like the class pariah, claimed to be a lesbian, spouting all this stuff about how bad lads are all the time.

"Do not, I'm not lesbisch.”

For some reason a flash of cuddling up with Soph popped into my head, okay that was, er nice but I've nothing to compare it with, well not properly, not exactly.
 
The subject of my ‘affections’ putt putted up to the kiosk just after twelve, I had wondered if Dad had maybe frightened him off.

"Hi guys,” he greeted having waited for the counter to clear.
"Max,” Con offered with a weird look.
"You got something in your eye, Con?”
"Er no, I'll leave you two lovebirds to it.”

I rolled my eyes, Dad’s frankness is clearly catching.

"So you eating?” I asked feeling somewhat awkwardly.
"Er, I guess.”
“Look sorry about Dad last night.”
"It was a bit… I dunno, unexpected?”
"Him offering his youngest daughter’s virginity would be a surprise.”

Max coloured up nearly as quickly as I do.

"Er yeah, about that, I was thinking...”
"Well think again,” I snapped before he could finish.
"Perhaps I should go.”
"Perhaps you should.”

He turned and left without a word. Why the hell did I say that? What was I thinking?

"You handled that well,” Kristen suggested with just the merest hint of sarcasm.
"Urgh! Flippin’ Dad!”
 
I was in less than a good mood as I headed up towards Effelsberg. Since Max’s truncated visit at lunch I've done nothing but bitch about Max, Dad, the weather, Max, customers, Max. How dare he suggest – hang on, he never actually finished what he was going to say did he? I rode on autopilot, arguing with myself, anyone passing must think I'm a right loon.

At the roundabout I ended up doing a full lap, I didn’t fancy going to Műnstereifel or down Schuld way so I headed north towards Rheinbach. Urgh, I've mucked things up with Max now, I pretty much accused him of wanting to rape me, well maybe that's a bit strong but – oh I don’t know what I mean.

It seemed like just a couple of minutes before I arrived at Rheinbach where I picked up the Ahrweiler road tracking the A61 motorway. I took out my frustrations on my bike, the supposed steady ride became a thrash, I covered the twenty K to Bad Neuenahr in thirty minutes. At least I felt a bit calmer now, it was me over reacting that was the problem, Max never got his say, Dad’s only trying to look after his daughter – of course he didn’t suggest we have sex, that’s all in my head.
 
"Everything okay?” Dad asked cautiously as I banged around the kitchen making a shopping list.
"Guess.”
"It doesn’t look very okay to me.”
"I'm fine.”
"If you say so.”
"I broke up with Max,” I blurted out.
"You have? I thought you liked him?”
"I do, but last night.”
"Was just me letting you know that me and your Mum are okay with you two dating, you have been sort of together for quite a while after all.”
"I know,” I admitted, "But I sort of over reacted and told Max to take a walk earlier.”
"Whatever for?”
"I don’t know, Daddy,” I found myself hugging Dad and fighting back the tears.
"It’s okay spud, it’ll sort itself out,” Dad told me, it was the holding rather than the words that started to calm me though.
 
I felt like a wreck pushing the trolley around Aldi, in my head everyone was pointing and making snide comments - ‘there’s the girl who can’t keep her boyfriend’, but it really was just my imagination.

“Onions?” Dad queried.
"The Spanish,” I tonelessly advised.

Oh I sort of got the anger and guilt out of my system – well a bit at least but I'm still miserable. Somehow I've got to fix things with Max but what if he doesn’t want to fix things? I pushed the trolley along without really taking much note of our progress around the store.

"What’s this, Gab, tam und tuche?”
"Erm, let’s see,” I requested reaching for the list, one glance solved the mystery.
"So?”
Am I really stood here doing this? "Er lady things?” I hinted.
"Tampons, why didn’t you just put that,” he loudly announced to the store.
"Dad!”
"What? You think I don’t know about this stuff, I've a wife and two teenage daughters.”
"But you don’t have to shout about it,” I suggested colouring up.
"Go get what you need, kids,” he sighed clearly unfazed.
 
"Where’re we going?” I asked as Dad drove straight past the turn into the village.
"You’ll see.”
"Hmmph!” I still haven’t forgiven him for embarrassing me in the supermarket.

When we turned across the river into Rech it was however fairly obvious where we were headed.

"Da-ad!”
"I've already spoken to Max.”
"When?” I demanded.
"When you were cleaning yourself up earlier., you young lady need to make an apology.”
"But...”
"But nothing.”

We bounced into the Schloss’ courtyard and came to a halt by the family door.

"Go on then,” Pater cajoled.

I checked my reflection in the vanity mirror, red eyes, frizzy hair, no make-up, oh yeah, I'll make a great impression.
 
I knocked on the door, it seemed like an age before I heard the sounds of someone coming to the door, if it’s Gloria or Wilhelm I'm just gonna turn around and leave. It wasn’t, no it was Maximilian Maria von Strechau in person.

"Gabs.”
"Er can we talk?”
“About what?”
"Please, Max,” I almost begged.
"You’d best come in then,” he allowed moving to one side for me to go inside.

I looked back at Dad sat in the A Klasse, he gave a nod so I turned back and squeezed past Max.
 
Maddy Bell © 13.05.17