Chapter 13 - The Sting

Paula the Elder
There's a saying that old age and treachery will triumph over youth and exuberance every time. It may even be true if my arthritis isn't acting up, but somehow I managed to talk the the detective into letting me come along when we watched the Sasquatch do his thing.

Naturally I had to stay in the van with the technician and the detective listening in to the wire because the Sasquatch had seen my face, but it sure beat staying home and tending to my knitting while I waited to find out what happened.

With one of the cops waiting in Paula's bedroom, Cody the Sasquatch arrived right on time to pick up Titia. Paul, the tech who was handling the listening station got red-faced more than once listening to the girl talk as Titia and Paula nattered while Titia prepared herself. There was no doubt that Titia and my granddaughter were lovers, none at all. I have this sneaking suspicion that those two vixen were having a great time at our expense.

Even though we knew where they were going, Titia kindly remarked on landmarks along the way so we were sure she wasn't being kidnapped or whatever. Cody seemed to be an attentive date and a good conversationalist. He hadn't a clue that the girl he was going out with was the guy he had sent flying a few weeks ago.

Dinner got quite boring for those of us listening, there wasn't a lot of privacy in the restaurant, so the conversation was sparse. The sounds of chewing and clinking tableware don't have any intrinsic dramatic value.

"I hope you guys have a very big hard drive to save all this," I told the tech.

"Don't worry, we have tons of room. We got this beauty with drug bust confiscations. Not likely the city would spring for something like this van. Besides, there's a big push for these guys, the powers-that-be are anxious to find his friends. You don't think we usually assign all these people for a lousy attempted break-in, do you?"

"I suppose not," I answered.

We were all glad when they left for the club. Our reception was clear as we trailed them a couple of blocks away. Pretty good equipment the cops have.

"Thank you for that lovely dinner, Cody."

"Thank you for your company. It's just a shame we met just before I have to go."

"You seem to be quite the traveler. Traveling salesman? My mother warned me about those types!"

"No sales involved in my line of work. I just come in, do the job, and leave before anyone even knows I've been there."

"A traveling ghost? Poltergeist? Do you do levitation?"

"I'm too old for that. Poltergeists are usually young teens."

"I guess if you were young enough to be a poltergeist you couldn't get a driver's license, so that's out."

"Ah, but I do have a youthful outlook."

"Not too youthful, the bartender at the club serves a mean Dawa cocktail."

"Never heard of that one."

"You have to try it! Dawa is the Swahili for a magic spell or medicine, and Kenyans will tell you that this is the drink to cure all ills! Vodka on ice cubes, sugar and lime. The dawa part is a wooden stick dipped in honey to stir it with."

"Sounds exotic, I'll have to try it."

"They go down real smooth. A few of them and who knows what will happen. You may even get the urge to stop traveling."

"Hey Mike," I asked the tech. Can you get a message to the crew in the club to have some of those Dawa things ready for them when they get there?"

"You got it, Paula. Loosen up the old tongue, it should."

"Just make sure Titia's is minus the vodka."

"I'm afraid that's all part of the job, when the job is done I have to leave town pretty quickly. Never can tell where I'll be from one week to the next. I'm almost glad that things went sour on this job so I got to meet you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls you pick up."

Listening in, I had to laugh. Yeah - he picked her up all right, then pitched her at the dumpster.

"Now wait a minute! What was the line I used to pick you up? It worked so well I'll have to remember it the next time I go clubbing by myself."

"I believe it was 'Can I persuade you to dance?' that you used. Somehow I had an overwhelming urge to make your acquaintance."

The way she's playing him, that girl is going to go far!

"Not very polished, but if it works…"

"Wouldn't have done any good if you hadn't been such a terror on the dance floor. You practically dislocated my arm, you demon!"

Don't play it too close to the line, honey!

"Think we can get the band to play a jitterbug? I'll try not to injure you."

"Jitterbug? One of my favorites with the right partner. Wonder how much we have to brib… uh, tip the band to have them play one?"

"Think you can manage it in those heels?"

"Just try me."

"Darlin', you're on."

Once again, those of us in the listening post were treated to several minutes of odd noises, this time with some heavy breathing and assorted grunts. I was beginning to get a feel for just how boring surveillance duty can be.

"Hope they're having a good time," the detective said. Too bad we don't have TV so we could have a better way to kill time while we're waiting."

"I hate to tell you, but since I've spent the last couple of years watching surveillance cameras it isn't any more interesting than listening to heavy breathing."

"I'm just glad the two of them aren't in bed," laughed the tech. "That would be a bit too much."

"Are you speaking from experience?" I asked.

"Sadly, yes," he replied. "And you have to listen to all of it just in case someone says something important."

"Jeez…"

"And not once has anyone said anything worth listening to during the act."

"I suppose their attention is elsewhere and their mouths are otherwise occupied."

"I'm trying to figure out what I'd do if you were my granny! Somehow I get the feeling you don't sit around reading romance novels and knitting all that much, do you Paula?"

"Not to burst you bubble, but I'm a great-grandma and I do knit. Romance novels aren't for me, but my husband had a dirty little secret - he read them all the time."

"And the stereotypes just keep bursting into flame as the night wears on…"

"Sounds like they're done dancing," said the tech."

"Wave down that waiter, won't you Cody," came Titia's voice. "I need something to drink."

"You've got it, sweetheart," came his slightly breathless response."

More breathing and odd noises, then the clink of glasses.

"To the best night out I've had in a long time," came Titia's voice. I sure hope she was acting and not getting too far into her role as bait."

"Cheers," came the reply.

You could even hear the gulps as she knocked back the drink.

"I need another of these, Cody."

"Anything you want. I'll just run up to the bar so we don't have to wait."

"You know how to make a girl happy."

After a pause, Titia said "I hope you guys appreciate my sacrifice, I'm going to have to visit the ladies room a dozen times with all this drinking. I just hope it loosens his tongue."

"She should complain, getting paid to go drinking and dancing. I'm in the wrong job," groused the tech.

"Now that the subject has come up," I observed, "I could use a visit to the ladies myself. Don't let anything exciting happen while I'm gone."

"Sounds like they're heading for the dance floor, so you should have some time."

So I crawled out of the van and visited the nearby convenience store. Naturally, I had to beg for the restroom key as it was locked to prevent all the homeless people from trashing the place. If it didn't make me feel like a little old lady I'd grouse about 'how things were back in my day!' and put on a good grump.

"I miss anything?" I queried on my return.

"Nope, still dancing. Wait a second, sounds like the end of that number. Good timing, Paula."

When they settled in, Titia asked "Ready for another round, big fella?"

"I've hit my limit, Titia. Can't afford to get too drunk tonight - big day tomorrow."

"Aww, you can't get drunk when you're dancing all night. Burns up the alcohol faster than you can drink it!"

"An interesting theory, but I don't want to screw up tomorrow night like we did the last time. I hate to leave a job unfinished - bad for my reputation."

"And what kind of reputation have you got - other than being a divine dancer?"

"Let's just say that 'if at first you don't succeed, you don't try again, you just do it again and do it right."

"A fine philosophy, easily applied to these fine drinks."

"I think I'll stick to a Virgin Mary or Paloma Fizz mocktail."

"Such self-control. Suit yourself and let's dance some more."

"A fine idea. Then I'll have to thank you for a wonderful evening and return you to your roommate. Like I said, I have a big day tomorrow."

"Well, then may Phra Sao bless your efforts on the morrow. Be sure to wear something purple to attract his attention."

"Who?"

"Phra Sao. One of the odd gods I ran across in college. You never know when you're going to need some supernatural intervention."

"Well, at the moment, I feel like worshiping the Lord of the Dance. Ready?"

"You bet!"

"Since you've been such a model of sobriety, why don't I wait here while you get the car? It's a bit chilly now."

"Of course."

After a pause:

"OK guys, he's gone. I think that went rather well, we know just where to be waiting tomorrow. And by the way, Paula the Younger's interest in odd gods let me know about good old Phra Sao, the Thai God of Grumpiness and Misfortune. He's attracted to purple and likes Saturdays. May he bless that big bastard with all his power tomorrow!"