Transport-What?!

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Amanda paced the room. This was her time. Her stage. To reveal her true self. No more being Tom. That was the past. She wanted to stop living as a boy. No more cross-dressing as a girl in secret. She openly wanted to wear girly clothes and shout out to the world that she should have been born as a girl.

Of course, her first hurdle sat on the couch. Her parents. Sitting in their khaki-colored delivery uniforms. Even when it was their day off. Both worked for a big delivery company. But it was more than that. They lived and breathed their job. They had a display case of miniature delivery vans in the dining room. Even their bed was build like a van too. Amanda hated to admit it, but her parents were nerds. And not the kind that was nowadays in style. They were lame. It was as simple as that.

"Mom. Dad," Amanda started as she could finally stop pacing through the room. She took a deep breath. "I am transgender."

Her father crooked the head to the side. He looked confused. As did her mother. "What's that."

"It means I am a girl. My soul is female. And I long for a body that reflects that."

"But you are a boy," her mother stated.

"You were born a boy," her Dad added.

Amanda cursed. Not out loud. Her parents raised her too well. Her worst fear came true. They didn't understand her. Were those narrow-minded people that outright dismissed the idea that transgendered people could exist. She braced for a wave of hate, but it didn't come. In fact, her parents were stuck in a confused state. So much was evident in the look on their faces.

Amanda realized that they didn't get it. That she had to find a way to explain it in a way that they understood it. Looking around, her eyes got caught on all the delivery service memorabilia. It gave her an idea.

"Mom. Dad. It is like this. You see, I have a female soul. And I should have been delivered with a girl's body. But there was a mix up with the delivery of a body and I got the wrong one. One with the wrong gender."

Her parents looked at each other and Amanda could see as understanding blossomed in their mind.

"So the ethereal delivery service made a mistake," her mother exclaimed.

"A transport order must have gone wrong," her father added.

"Now I get it. Transport-Gender. I miss-heard you. Still a strange term."

"Such unprofessionalism. They had sixteen years to fix their mistake."

"We've got to do something. This can't stand. We should complain."

"What is going on?" Amanda asked in confusion. "Complain where exactly?"

"Well, the authorities of course," her Dad explained. "They better fix it as soon as possible."

Amanda was bamboozled. What were they talking about? "I don't think the government can do anything there."

"Not the government, daughter," Amanda's mother chided her. "The ethereal authority. Come on. Get dressed."

Amanda was elated. To hear her mother refer to her as a daughter. It was a dream come true. She was ecstatic and elated that her parents were on her side. Finally, they were on her side. But she was still confused as she was ushered out of the door. Even more so when there was a delivery van parked in their driveway. It wasn't the usual dark brown, but sky blue.

A moment later, they were seated and Amanda's father started the van. Put instead of pulling onto the street, he drove straight on. Amanda was about to scream when the van was sure to hit their neighbor's house when suddenly everything changed.

They were floating among a sea of clouds. When Amanda looked out of the window she saw the landscape pass by miles below.

"Don't worry, sweetie, we are nearly there."

Amanda turned to her mother with a what-the-fuck-is-going-on face when through the windshield she saw the next absurdity. There was a warehouse squarely sitting atop a cloud. Like bees, sky-blue delivery vans flew out of or into the building.

Their van flew through a big garage door and came to a stop in a big loading and unloading bay. Here, they exited the van and made their way on foot. The further they came the more Amanda's jaw threatened to unhinge itself. She was simply speechless. There were stacks of parcels everywhere. But each parcel was also a person. A body. And Amanda could see each stage of their body throughout the time. Baby, kid, teen, adult, and senior. All at once. It gave her a headache.

She was glad when her parents led her into an office area. It was an absolute madhouse with activity, but she still got the impression that everything worked together like a piece of well-oiled machinery. At last, they entered an office with the sign 'customer support' stenciled on the door. Lessening the amount of information that held Amanda in disbelief and confusion.

"What can I do for you?" the clerk asked. Amanda couldn't deceiver the clerk's gender. Male? Female? it was something squarely in the middle. The nameplate wasn't helpful either. What a name was "A-oki"?

"Our daughter here is transport-gender. All because your department messed up a delivery."

"A what?" the clerk asked. Amanda couldn't fault them for their confusion. It was a made-up term by her parents.

"She got the wrong body and gender due to the wrong body being delivered to her. She had to live in the wrong one for sixteen years!"

Amanda felt oddly proud of how fierce her mother was for her cause. She wasn't exactly sure what it would bring, but it was nice.

"Another one?" the clerk asked. "There is now a term for that?"

"It happened before?" Amanda's Dad asked. "Why isn't anyone doing anything about it."

"You see, there are bugs in the ethereal registry. They corrupt information."

"Can't you get a programmer to patch the faulty software?" Amanda wanted to know.

"Oh, no. They're literal bugs. Ethereal beetles. They eat information in the ethereal registry and the recovery process is less than perfect."

"Bugs? I am in the wrong gender because you have bugs?" Anger threatened to overwhelm Amanda. "Just call an exterminator. An ethereal one if it has to be. Just kick them out and fix this!"

"Please," the clerk tried to calm her down. "My hands are tied. The ethereal beetles are endangered. PETA will have our asses if we do something to them."

"Endangered? Are you nuts?" By now Amanda was close to climbing on that clerk's desk and get really personal. "Over one percent worldwide identify as transgender. I think your stupid bugs had their fill."

"What is transgender?" the clerk asked.

Amanda lunged for the clerk's throat but was held back by her mother. Meanwhile, her Dad explained. "Transport-gender. She often makes this mistake and calls it that."

"Well, if your daughter is right, then maybe it is time to look into the matter. Maybe in the last two thousand years, their population indeed has recovered."

"More than that," Amanda spat out. "They have become a menace. Show me how and I'll make sure they are endangered again!"

"Please, no violence," the clerk urged. "I will take it up with my superiors immediately."

"That is good to hear," Amanda's father admitted. "Though I think the ethereal authority owes my daughter an apology. And a new body."

"Damn right, they do," Amanda agreed. Then it dawned on her. "Wait. A new body?"

"Right. Yes." The clerk filled out a form at an amazing speed and handed it over. "This is a voucher for a new body. To be exchanged in department sixty-three. I fear the official apology may take a while."

"That is fine for now," Amanda's mother said while steering her out. "Come on sweetie. Time to get you into a new body."

"Wait, what? For real?" The anger drained away in an instant. Was this possible? Her dream and longing fulfilled in an instant? Despite everything that happened in the last hour it still was an absurd thought.

"Of course," her father assured her. "That's why were are here after all."

Now, giddy excitement started to fill Amanda. She practically dragged her parents forward. Sometimes in the wrong direction as she had no idea where department sixty-three was located. At last, they arrived at a secluded corner of the massive warehouse that had been fenced off.

Her father gave the form to a bored-looking security guard. After verifying it, the guard started to explain.

"This voucher is good for one body exchange. The bodies here are all rejects from the design department. Sometimes they try to design one better than the guidelines allow. Sometimes they even manage to smuggle them through quality control. Those that get caught land here. They are used as spares if one is needed."

Amanda listened only half-heartedly. All her dreams were about to come true. As soon as the gate opened she rushed in. Ready to find her dream body. Yet she was utterly unprepared nonetheless. Hundreds of bodies were stacked as parcels. Each one not only showing a body in Amanda's age but in all ages at once. It took them hours to sift through them.

Deciding on one was hard. Most looked beautiful. Downright gorgeous even. There were other details. Most likely allergies one body would develop and which chronic sickness would one plague in older years. At last, Amanda narrowed it down to one. She wouldn't be the most beautiful girl, but a very healthy one. And remain beautiful and in strong health even to old age.

"This is the one," Amanda proclaimed. "How do I proceed?"

"Just push the parcel into your current body," the guard explained.

As Amanda did, bright light started to envelop her. A moment later, the sound of a parcel hitting the floor made her turn around. There it was. Her male body. Trapped inside a parcel. She could see the last sixteen years of growing up and countless years that might have been her future.

But that was the past. Still, in disbelieve, she patted down her new body. It had worked. She was a girl now. Not just in the soul, but body too. She jumped around in joy. Hugged her parents as tight as she could. Even the guard got a hug. Amanda was brimming with happiness.

The walk back to the delivery van was a blur. She was so ecstatic. Running, jumping, and testing out her new body. Only as she had to settle down in the van Amanda calmed down somewhat. Then she got thoughtful.

"Mom. Dad. How long do you think until they fix the bug problem?"

Her Dad scratched his head. Buying himself some time. "Well, sweetie, the ethereal bureaucracy isn't the fastest."

"Maybe two centuries?" her Mom mused out loud. "One if they expedite."

"That's too long!" Fury returned to Amanda. "We can't leave all those transgender people hanging. Sorry. Transport-gender. Whatever. They are suffering as I did."

"We could hire an ethereal lawyer," Dad mused out loud.

"Those are overworked too," Mom threw in. "Not many chose the career."

Amanda jumped on it like a bird of prey on a small rodent. "Can I become one? An ethereal lawyer! I kick their asses until they fix their mess."

"Do you hear that Darling?" Her father beamed. "She'll follow our footsteps and work for the ethereal authority."

Amanda ignored the proud looks of her parents. One struggle was laying in her past. And she would enjoy her new self. But she already spotted a new struggle ahead. She would fight for everyone out there that was transgender or transport-gender or whatever. The ethereal authority won't know what hit them. Of that, she would make sure.

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Comments

go girl!

kick their ethereal butts!

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So it's not

just governments that screw up big time. Even the powers that be make more than a few bloopers, If only it was as simple as buying a new car to rectify the situation, Old model no good ? Bodywork the wrong shape , Not a problem, Just pop down to Department 63 where our customer service people will be pleased to help .... If only life was that simple .... i guess we can all dream.

Kirri

p.s Loved the story, it was different.

Very nice. Too bad I didn't

Rose's picture

Very nice. Too bad I didn't know about this at sixteen!

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Hugs!
Rosemary

Well written

Thank you for a clever little story. I really enjoyed it.

>>> Kay

Nice wordplay!

And literal bugs!

Using the resources of the bureaucracy, her new resources, a.k.a body, to improve it! Woo!

Maybe she'll be around to get an apology, given her new resource!