Dana’s Story, Part 6
Dana has been welcomed into the neighborhood wives club, now he enlists their help to achieve his next goal.

The Milk Train

The coffee club girls didn’t waste a minute getting me on the breastfeeding path to nutritional life. First of all, I was sent to visit my wife’s OBGYN all by myself. Dr. Cynthia Morris was a delightful D.O., graduating from my alma mater several years ahead of myself. She had a concerned look on her face when we sat in one of the patient rooms to talk. “I know you are worried about Kathy and I am too. I am going to monitor her closely to head off any problems.” “You are an angel, Doctor. I am concerned about Kathy and would do anything to make sure she is safe.” I then explained my concern about her breastfeeding and how it was taking a severe toll on Kathy’s psyche.

I then started pulling copies of the websites on men breastfeeding to show Dr. Morris. I again reiterated my desire do anything to alleviate this gnawing concern of Kathy’s. I even told the Doctor about the neighborhood wives coffee club and ‘their’ bold suggestions.

Dr. Morris looked at me like I was ET. “Do you realize what you’re asking? Are you really ready to commit to breastfeeding twins for the next year?” “My questions to you are: Doctor, is this a possibility? Would it work for us? What do we need to make this happen? How how big do my boobs need to be to supply enough nourishment for twin babies? Do you think this is a good idea? And if you agree, then lastly how should I approach this with Kathy?”

Again, I got a blank look from Doctor Morris. She hesitatingly said to me “it sounds like you’ve given this quite a bit of thought. Aside from the size of your breasts, do you have any other concerns?”

“I want to make sure that if I can lactate, that the milk will be nourishing and safe for the twins. I would also like to discuss long-term feeding schedules.” Dr. Morris was regaining her composure and I could see her brain start to begin working on solving the problem at hand “Would you disrobe so I can examine you? I’ll call another nurse to join us. Put on the gown on the table and I’ll be right back in.” Dr. Morris looked serious and I wondered if I had lost all hope in pulling this off. But…My first OBGYN exam! That’s another check mark on the bucket list.

The first person to enter my exam room was a young nurse whose nametag read: Julie. Julie was pleasant while she took my vitals as well as three vials of blood and a urine sample. Height, Weight, Good BMI, BP, Pulse, Temp; no problems. Dr. Morris entered the room and Julie took a seat. I was holding my breath, hoping my explanations would sway Dr. Morris to help. If she said no, my plan was dead in the water. I was so close to the finish line.

Please god, get me over the finish line, goal line or whatever line in the sand I need to cross.

The Exam

Dr. Morris came back in full professional mode. She started with my breasts. Her eyes got huge as she gave me a breast exam. “Dana, how long have you had breasts? “I’ve just noticed it over the past month or so. Kathy and I thought it was because of my wearing bras all the time under my suits.” “Dana, these are honest to goodness, beautiful, women’s burgeoning breasts. What size bra do you wear?” I think I’m currently a 34-A cup. Do you think they will be big enough to allow me to nurse our twins?” I thought nurse Julie’s head was going to explode listening to our conversation! Dr. Morris then proceeded to the bottom part of my body to examine. Another bucket check mark for feet in stirrups. Dr. Morris examined my “equipment” as Julie was intensely watching, Dr. Morris asked, “do you have any problems urinating? “No.” “How often do you have erections?” “Whenever I see my wife.” Good answer Dana!

I want to see you back here tomorrow morning so I can get the results of your blood and urine samples and we can determine a course of action” “Listen doctor, I know this is a lot to take in. But, please be honest with me. Is this just a pipe dream of mine to help Kathy or can it possibly work? Dr. Morris looked at me again like I was an alien. “If you are 100% committed and your bloodwork comes back ok, we can talk about next steps.” I was on pins and needles. Please lord, let the angels sing!

Now I had to address the task of how to break the news to Kathy. Ok, I’m really not going to do that right now, I’ll just lay a little foundation for the future. When Kathy got home, Emily and I were waiting there for her. “Kathy, you go get changed then you can come back to play with Emily before dinner.” “Yes, ma’am”, she saluted us before scampering off to the bedroom.

Dinner was great. I was constantly amazed at Kathy’s ability to leave all of her work behind and be in the moment with Emily and me. I worked up the courage to lay one more foundation stone. “Kathy, I followed up on your suggestion regarding my budding breasts and saw Dr. Morris today.” “Dana, you should have told me, I wanted to come to support you.” “I didn’t want to worry you and Dr. Morris just did some tests. She wants me to come back tomorrow to discuss the results. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done.”

Kathy was beside herself with worry, but I told her Dr. Morris said we can handle this.” However, the wives’ coffee club was not so laid back. “We are coming with you, like it or not Dana!” Beth explained to me. Ok, fine. This enabled Kathy to get Emily and I all dressed up so we could compete with our neighbors. Kathy was totally amused at my predicament and offered to lay out our clothes. “Thank you, I replied. That would be a tremendous help. I don’t want to commit some kind of mommy faux pas.

The Hard Truth

We looked like a ‘Wives of the Midwest’ entourage as we headed to Dr. Cynthia’s office. When ‘Dana’ was called, most of the waiting room got up with me. The nurse quickly realized we needed a bigger boat! Okay, not a bigger boat (hahaha), but definitely a bigger room. When Doctor Cynthia walked in, she saw four women, four baby girls, and one nurse. Instant bedlam.

“Okay, let’s get started. Why do we have so many people in here for a confidential medical discussion?” I started to explain when Beth spoke up “We are Dana and Kathy’s best friends and we want to help Dana breastfeed the twins when they are born. Can you help us?” I loved my coffee club girls. They were definitely no nonsense, and right to the point!

After I clearly signed, initialed and notated that I waived all privacy and HIPAA laws, Dr. Cynthia opened my folder and got started. “Dana, your testosterone levels are a little low, but your estrogen levels are through the roof. Can you explain this?” I said, “I’m not sure Doctor, but this is my conjecture. I have been immersed into a woman’s world with my wife, daughter and business. I think my brain may be trying to match my body with my heart.” A great answer! But I don’t think the good doctor was buying a word of it. “Doctor, does that also explain my ever-growing breasts, too?” I was going for a home run, but I’d settle for a base hit!

Dr. Cynthia (I like that much better than Dr. Morris) gave me a soul-searching stare and then smiled. “Dana, if you weren’t married, I would be down on one knee right now. This is the most selfless thing I’ve ever heard of. I would be honored to help you and Kathy. What just happened??? “I’m on the road again, going places that I’ve never been. Seeing things I may never see again. And I can’t wait to get on the road again.”

The neighbors started screaming, the babies started crying and I couldn’t believe my ears. Hallelujah! “Great, thank you! What’s the first step? And the second?” Dr. Cynthia explained that we need to increase the estrogen and progesterone levels in my body. I also needed to stop any excess testosterone production. I knew immediately what she meant. I was both terrified and excited beyond belief. She was telling me I needed an orchiectomy for this all to work, or a similar chemical castration. A few days prior to Kathy delivering the twins, I would get dosed with prolactin to let down my milk. I was trying my best not to panic or show my elation. Without my testes, life would be much easier for me. No uncomfortable tucking, no chance of Kathy getting pregnant again, and opening up my chance to breastfeed our new twins.

As I recovered my composure, the girls were all hugging me. Dr. Cynthia had a huge grin on her face. “I can’t believe we are doing this Dana. I am going to write a doctoral thesis paper on your journey, I am so proud to help you.” Okay, but when do I lose my balls?

We still had several steps before the boys got put down. Dr. Cynthia was adamant when she told us it was possible for me to breastfeed our girls. The other two questions needed closure as well. “How are we going to talk to Kathy about this? I know it weighs heavily on her mind daily. All of a sudden there was a gathering tornado as my Doctor and my good friends laid out their plans. “We are going to have a neighborhood BBQ this Saturday and we’ll do the rest with Kathy. Ok? That was easy enough. Next up: are my boobs big enough to take care of the twins?

Dr. Cynthia was very clinical in answering my last question about volume (boob size). “Dana, you have developed into an A cup on your own. That is probably not big enough for nursing twins, but you needn’t worry. With your body structure and your new hormone regimen, you’ll be a full C cup well before the twins are born. Those will be the perfect size for the twins. Tada! My own C cup breasts!

Now I thought my carefully laid plans were finally coming to fruition. I still had to take a deep breath to make sure I was ok with this one-way trip to womanhood. No more balls, big boobs (okay, only a C, but big for me!) Being a wet-nurse for the twins. It would be difficult to have any semblance of maleness after this. Was I ok with that? What are Emily and the twins going to call me? Dad? Mom? Auntie? Before the cart gets before the horse, Kathy had to be 100% on board with this or it still doesn’t work for me.

We thanked the good Doctor and left. I rode back home partially in a daze. Would this really work?

Saturday finally arrived and we got ready to get together with the neighbors. Kathy had a late night at work, so I got Emily up and took care of her needs. Emily and I made breakfast for Kathy and put together a tray to take to her in bed. I think the smell of fresh coffee woke her up, but she was all smiles with Emily and I bringing her breakfast in bed. I gave Emily to Kathy and then proceeded to feed her while she played with Emily. It was a memory I would treasure.

I knew Kathy’s decision was coming today, but I had a real trepidation that I should stop this runaway train before it crashes. I took Emily and got us both dressed. Emily was in a cute princess dress and I was wearing tan shorts with a sleeveless polo with tan sandals. Kathy met us in the kitchen wearing a cute pair of capris with baby animals all over. She had a crop-top on that showed off her tight body, even with her tiny mommy belly. She was nearing the end of her first trimester.

We headed over to Beth’s house for the BBQ today. We brought our bathing suits and plenty of diapers and supplies for Emily. I had made a fruit salad to bring, so we packed it all up in our wagon with our little girl and headed off. The weather was fine, and the food and company were great. Dr. Cynthia showed up with Vicky and we all doted on our little ones.

The moment of truth was at hand, and I was getting sick to my stomach. Finally, we finished eating and we were just getting ready to gather everything up and head back home when my coffee club friends, along with Dr. Cynthia had a private moment with Kathy. I wanted to grab Emily and run, but I dutifully sat there entertaining our little girl and her friends while the adults (women) talked. I started to get some weird vibes from the group. There were a couple of thumbs up and smiles, but never any discernable expression from my wife.

Kathy walked over to us and started sobbing. “You sweet, sweet, wonderful husband. What did I do to deserve you?”

“You know I have always told you I would do whatever it takes for you and Emily. We want you to be safe and happy.”

End of Part 6