Memoir of a Stealth Transition - 38 of 38

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Chapter 38 - Love the Second Time Around

We had hardly had time to do more than exchange a chorus of 'what are you doing here' before a small whirlwind came clomping over with her braids a-flying. She enveloped her father in a enthusiastic hug, and to my surprise I found myself in her embrace a moment later.

"Daddy! I jumped and didn't fall down!"

"That's great, princess! Keep at it and you'll be a star. Do you want some hot cocoa?"

"Yeah!"

"Then you stay here with Connie and I'll get some for you."

"Do you know her, Daddy?"

"I do indeed. We skated together when I was in college."

"Neat. She's nice."

From the mouths of babes…

"Do you like skating? I really do. Daddy's teaching me how to jump, but I fall down lot. He's really good. You have a pretty dress, I want to learn to spin around so that my dress can go up in the air like they do in the Olympics."

Apparently I was not going to have to figure out how to talk to a small child, as she was perfectly capable of handling the conversation all by herself. Isaac returned with a cup of cocoa and a bemused smile.

"I haven't seen her this happy since Ellen died," he said quietly to me.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Isaac."

What could I say to that? Nothing, so I just let a companionable silence grow between us as his daughter, whose name turned out to be Marya, kept us entertained. Not having any children in my life, I hadn't a clue about much of her conversation, but the occasional smile or encouraging word was all that was necessary.

Our drinks finished, we skated around the ice with Marya holding one of us in each hand. Once again I was wistful for the family that never came to be. Eventually Marya tired and we changed to our normal clothes. Marya insisted that she come with me to the lady's lockers 'because she was a big girl and shouldn't be in the men's place.' How soon we learn to separate the world into male and female.

"Isaac," I said, "it's been wonderful to see you again. Let's not lose touch."

"Then come home and have dinner with us. Marya and I baked a cake this morning and we could use some help in eating it."

"How could I refuse? What kind of cake, Marya?"

"Strawberry! With pink frosting and sprinkles!" came the enthusiastic answer. Marya was getting her second wind.

So I followed them to their home and we had supper together, including a strawberry cake with pink frosting and sprinkles. Somewhere around seven Marya faded and it was bedtime. Just as I remembered from my own youth, Marya tried every trick in the book to put off actually going to sleep.

As it always does, she ran out of excuses after getting a story from each of us, a glass of water, her stuffed puppy and all the rest. Kissing that child goodnight brought tear to my eye. As Isaac closed the bedroom door I could see tears in his eyes as well.

"God Connie, it's been so hard. I loved her so much and…"

I couldn't help it, he was in pain. I gently gathered him in my arms and held him, both of us weeping. It isn't at all clear how we made it back to the living room, but we talked for hours. It seemed the most natural thing in the wold to hold each other as we sat on the couch.

He spoke of Ellen; how they met, their plans and dreams, her death from a massive septic infection that came without warning, the bright penny we had gentled into bed. For the first time I felt comfortable telling someone besides Julie or a shrink the intimate details of my longing and need to become a woman, of what growing up in a small town was like. Of course he knew I was transgendered - the entire college knew that, but I was able to tell him some of the details.

For a wonder, he seemed to understand. I spoke of Julie, our love and how our inability to have children had come between us. Somewhere around one in the morning I finally said: "Isaac, I've got to go home. It's late."

"You don't have to. Stay with me, please"

"Isaac, are you sure?"

"Yes."

He didn't say any more because our mouths were busy.

I'll only say that the doctors had done the job well, my new body was quite responsive and sex with Isaac was everything I could hope for.

***

The changes came thick and fast after that. In a few months I had been enthusiastically accepted as Marya's new mother and I was sleeping in Isaac's bed as much as my own. I was completely blindsided when Isaac proposed to me after a romantic dinner alone. Marya was at her grandparent's house for the night.

"Isaac, you know I'd say 'yes' in an instant, but we can't get married. In the eyes of the law I'm still a man."

"Screw blind justice, I want you to be my wife and Marya's mother."

"I'd rather you screw me, darling."

"That will happen soon enough."

"The law won't let us be married, but I vow that I will love you and stay with you and be everything a wife should be for as long as we live."

"Then that's how it's going to be. For as long as we live."
 

It wasn't as simple as that, but about the time I told Julie I wanted to sell my interest in the house she was trying to find a way to tell me the same thing. She and Sam had gotten together by then and the pregnancy test had just come up positive.

In an excess of emotion we promised to be each other's matron of honor at the ceremonies and suddenly Marya was to be a flower girl twice over. The house sold quickly when we put it on the market and I moved in with Isaac permanently and while Julie and Sam found a new place together.

And there life settled for a few years. Marya grew up, Isaac and I adopted little Menachem, after an epic court battle. Once again Stuart's legal expertise came to my aid. He argued brilliantly as to why his stepsister's tranny ex-husband was fit to be a mother to this child who had been shuttled from home to home for most of his young life. It took a while, but we all won, especially Menachem, whose nickname soon became Mac and we got to observe sibling rivalry firsthand. Sam and Julie's two became as close as cousins and exchange of babysitting duties became a way of life.
 

In 1991, Sandra and Doug decided to retire and I became the CEO of our now very successful company. Julie gladly ceded the CEO position to me - she had no interest in that kind of work. Being a CEO and raising a pair of rambunctious pre-teens was quite a challenge, but Isaac and I survived the experience.

In 2010 we accepted an offer to buy out the company, none of our children being interested in taking over. (We had an artist, a computer nerd, a hotshot salesman and a pilot between the two founding families.) Isaac and I are comfortably retired and travel a great deal, visiting our children and grandchildren who are scattered around the country.

At long last, in 2015, Isaac and I were legally married after thirty five years together when the Supreme Court finally told the conservative assholes and religious zealots they can't stop people who love each other from getting married. Sadly, Doug passed away just before we were married.

The ceremony was performed by the ever-reliable Stuart before a rather large audience of friends, children, grandchildren, godchildren, parents, and ex-wives. I wonder if the Guinness book has a category for someone who said the words to marry, divorce and remarry the same bride. There can't be too many people who have done all that.

Life has been very good to me and to those I love. Mom and Dad are gone now, as are Grandma Gladys and Grandpa Dave, and Sandra is playing the merry widow in Florida, raising cane and chasing alligators. Seriously, she's works part time at an alligator farm and has been known to wrestle alligators. She tells me that it's not unlike being the CEO of a corporation, but at least the alligators can be counted on the be direct in their intentions. She's a model for strong women everywhere.

Next time we visit her, I may just see if we can do a tag-team wrestling match with a gator and I can see if she's right. The audience would love watching two old ladies have a go at one of those buggers.

I'll leave you with a piece of advice for any boy child that just knows that there has been a mistake and he is really a girl. Don't put off doing something about it, there are people out here to help you. Same goes for a girl child who is really a boy. My stealth transition is so out-of-the-ordinary as to be almost insane, but it worked for me. I hope you can live as long and prosperous a life as I have found.

Peace be with you, my friends.

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Comments

That must have been cathartic

Dee Sylvan's picture

That's quite a story Ricky. I liked the skating aspect you wound throughout the story to stay connected with Connie's family. It's more than a bit sad when a marriage ends because of a lack of children. Many couples nowadays (DINKS) just choose not to have any children. I've also seen a few good families destroyed over CD and in the end, when cooler minds prevail, most parties wish they could have a do-over. Good for Connie if Julie was that shallow to put motherhood ahead of her marriage. This was an enjoyable story, thanks for posting. Dee

DeeDee

And also with you..

Lucy Perkins's picture

Sorry but I reacted very very emotionally to your whole story, Ricky, and especially to the happy ending ..as masterworks go it was one of the best. Even your foreshadowed bad times turned out to be happy...and for all of us at this moment in time, that was perfect!
A writer who can quote Monty Python and reference the difficult days of gender dysphoria, and still leave us with s very warm buggy feeling..well that's pretty darn special..
Thanks as ever Ricky..a wonderful story.
Love Lucy

"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."

Don't be sorry

The whole idea was to get an emotional response. Glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks as Usual...

...for an entertaining, solidly written story with your usual great dialogue.

Best, Eric

I have no words

other than to say I wish I could have lived Connie's life. Too many tears to be coherent right now.