A Wish Unwanted – Part 19
by Limbo’s Mistress

I remained curled on the floor of my bedroom, sobbing, for almost half an hour. Eventually, I ran out of tears and pushed myself into a sitting position. My breathing came in shuddering gasps. I felt beat up. Physically. Almost like the time Chad slammed me into the lockers a few times before shoving me down onto the floor.

All because Jen had told him, falsely, that I had been flirting with Sarah in French class.

I groaned, putting my head in my hands, sniffling as my crying-induced runny nose threatened to get away from me.

How had everything gotten so twisted around and dark so quickly? I hadn’t expected to so easily fall into Penelope’s life, but I had. I’d thought it would be weeks of me stumbling around, doing my best to convince people that I really was the girl they saw when they looked at me. The girl they had firm and complete memories of existing.

Instead, it had been like trying on a new suit and finding everything just seemed to fit perfectly. I’d found a new cadre of friends who enjoyed being around me. Granted, part of that was likely due to my wish. I’d discovered what love could really be like. Not to mention how great it could be to help someone who needed it.

All gone now.

I wiped my eyes with the hem of my t-shirt, then climbed up onto shaky legs. I pulled my phone from my bag and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the picture of me and Sarah, our arms around each other.

Unlocking the device, I scrolled though my call history list and pressed the phone icon next to Charlie’s name.

“Hey,” he said after the third ring. “What’s up?”

I could hear someone talking in the background. A female. Tracy, most likely. Unexpectedly, I felt a little wave of jealousy and nearly hung up on him. Instead, I fought against the negative emotion and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Hey,” I said in return, my voice cracking a bit. “Are you busy?”

“Trace is over so we can study for a physics quiz tomorrow.” There was a slight pause, then he quickly added, “But I can talk if you need to.”

“That would be nice.”

Another moment of silence. “Are you okay, Sam?”

I shook my head, then chastised myself for doing it. “No,” I said. “Not really.”

“Okay. Hold on a second.” There was the sound of him putting his hand over the phone, and then I heard him saying something to Tracy.

“Cin?” I said. I repeated it louder. “Cin.”

“Yeah?”

“You can call me later. Don’t make her leave on my account.”

“Are you sure?”

I bit down on my lower lip. I really wanted someone to talk to about what had just happened between me and Sarah. Charlie made the obvious choice because he’d used the stone. Then again, so had Tracy.

“Actually, maybe it would help to talk to you both. If she doesn’t mind.”

I heard him ask her. A second later, the phone in my ear clicked loudly as the boy at the other end activated the speaker mode.

“Hey, Pee-Jay,” Tracy said. “What’s wrong?”

I sighed. “I told Sarah the truth.”

Dead silence for about five seconds. For a second, I thought we’d lost connection.

“About everything?” Charlie asked, sounding worried. “The stone? Us? The changes in reality?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, falling back onto the bed. “She found out about our meeting in the Clubhouse yesterday and sort of freaked out about it. Since she’s my best friend, she was really hurt by my keeping some big secret from her.”

“Well, sometimes best friends do that.”

I winced. Oh god. Was that directed at me? I mean, Cindy had been my best friend before the wishing stone screwed everything up. But it wasn’t like I’d just abandoned her willy-nilly. Reality had changed to make Sarah to be Penny’s best friend. Not Charlie. Which meant we couldn’t be as close as we used to be.

Or maybe you could, and you just let the thrill of being adored go to your head.

I physically slapped my forehead, as if that would actually silence Sam’s taunting voice.

“I guess she didn’t believe you.” Tracy said. “Probably thought you were just making it up to hide something else.”

“Yeah. Exactly.” Then I arched a brow at the phone. “Wait, did you do that? Try to tell someone the truth?”

“Unfortunately,” she said. “When the stone changed my life, I discovered my parents had enacted a strict diet routine in the hopes that it would help me lose weight.” She barked a sarcastic, unhappy, laugh. “Which was ludicrous, since before Tabs cursed me, I was actually kind of underweight. Skinny, even.”

“Did you say something to them?”

“Of course I did,” she said. “I mean, I was a little freaked out already because I’d gone from average-looking to … well, you know. I kept telling them that Tabitha had done this to me with a magic wish.” She sighed. “They thought I was making up crap in order to get out of fat camp. It took them threatening me with seeing a shrink before I stopped trying to convince them.”

I frowned. I could only imagine how my parents would have handled me rushing downstairs and trying to convince them that I used to be a boy. Rather than the daughter they knew, without a doubt, me to be. Considering that my mother was a doctor, I’m sure she would have immediately shipped me off for a psych evaluation. Or a full-screen drug testing.

“That sucks,” Charlie added. “I’m glad I was in too much shock to actually engage with my folks. They just thought I’d been up too late playing video games. By the time I got home Monday afternoon, I’d calmed down enough to act normal. Or at least relatively normal.”

I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “I didn’t know what else to do. I mean, I knew I shouldn’t try telling her the truth. I mean, if someone began talking to me about magic stones and wishes, I’d think they were looney tunes.”

“But you didn’t,” Charlie said. “I mean, you didn’t really believe me at first. However, you were quick to change your mind.”

“That’s because I held the damned thing,” I said defensively. “The second I touched it, I knew what you said about it was real.”

“Too bad you don’t still have it,” Tracy added. “Then she could hold it and know you’re not lying.”

“I’ll be happy if that thing goes away and never comes back. I’m not sure I could handle another reality reset. Hard enough to keep things straight as it is.”

“Imagine how I feel,” Tracy said with an amused laugh. “I’m one reality up on you. I’m just glad this latest change didn’t really affect me that much. I didn’t know Geoff or Peter, and I’m ugly enough to avoid being one of Peter’s targets.”

“Peter is done with targets,” I said in a low, angry voice. “If he needs a ball-kick refresher to jog his memory, I’m more than in the mood to oblige.”

“Just be glad you’re immune,” Charlie said. “Who knows what he would have done with the most wanted girl in school.”

“Stop calling me that,” I said. “I don’t want to be the most desired. Or most wanted. Or any of that.” I sighed. “I just want to be me. I mean, Pee-Jay me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding extremely sympathetic. “Maybe Sarah will think you were just joking around.”

“I doubt it,” I said, letting out a pensive breath. “I was pretty adamant when trying to tell her. Though, looking back, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that she ran away from me and my crazy-talk. After what happened with Lee.”

Silence.

“Sam, did you say something to Lee as well?”

“Not exactly. I mean, not in the same way I tried to convince Sarah of the truth. I might have let something slip in class today. Something personal that he’d told me when we were a couple. He got really suspicious, so I started asking him what he thought about magic and wishes.”

“You didn’t.”

“Don’t judge me, Cindy,” I said. “I didn’t know what else to do. I miss him so much. I know it’s insane, since we weren’t actually dating, at least from my view, until a few days ago. I just feel this … connection with him.”

Neither one of them said anything for a few minutes. Then Charlie cleared his throat.

“Listen, I know this is going to sound really hard and heartless. But you have got to move on from this. Lee Taylor was Pee-Jay’s boyfriend in a world that doesn’t exist anymore. You’re not going to be able to force you two back together. I know you’re hurting, and I wouldn’t wish … sorry … want anyone to have to suffer that way.”

“I know that, Cin,” I said, feeling my eyes begin to water again. “I just … there was a moment today in the hall. I nearly fell down and he caught me and held me in his arms. I felt some kind of connection between us. Just like before.”

“Are you sure you didn’t imagine it?” Tracy asked.

I glared at the phone in my hand, but managed to refrain from screaming at her.

“Yes. I mean, pretty sure. It was like this … electricity. I felt it Monday when he kissed me for the first time. I mean, not me. But …”

“I understand what you mean,” she said. Then she sighed. “I don’t really know what to say to that. I still don’t know a lot about what the stone can do. Other than the obvious.”

“Why don’t we meet tomorrow?” Charlie asked. “Either before school or during third period?”

“It will have to be first thing in the morning,” I said. “Free period is booked with prepping for the pre-game pep rally. No way I can skip out on that. Not with Jen coming back.”

“Ugh,” Tracy and Charlie said in unison.

“I’ve enjoyed not seeing her scowling face or hearing her bitching voice since last Friday,” Charlie said. “I don’t envy you at all.”

“Thanks,” I said in a deadpan. “I’m already prepared for a serious cussing from her about my new station and involvement in her cheer squad.”

“Yeah, she’s going to be in a mood,” Tracy agreed. “She really climbed all over Tabs’ ass after we used the stone.”

“Well, that’s a little hypocritical, isn’t it?” Charlie asked her.

“It’s Jennifer Winters,” she replied. “Do you really need to ask?”

We made arrangements to meet in the library before first bell, then I ended the call. I wasn’t sure what the two of them were really doing together. I mean, I’m sure there might have been some studying, but there might have been other extra stuff taking place as well.

Just because my love life had gone down in flames didn’t mean that I wanted to screw up someone else’s.

I sat up, climbed off the bed, and went over to the closet. I pulled a bright pink sweatshirt from one of the shelves and pulled it on over the gym tee. I grabbed a hairband from one of the dresser drawers, tied my hair back in a ponytail, and went downstairs.

Daddy still wasn’t home, but mom was in the kitchen sipping on a glass of wine and flipping through a magazine. There was a plate turning slowly in the microwave and the smell of sauced meat wafted up my nose.

My stomach growled in response.

Glancing up, mom smiled for about a half a second, then frowned. “You’ve been crying,” she said. Not a question.

I sighed and nodded. “A little.”

She put her glass down, closed the magazine, and turned in her seat to face me. “Sarah didn’t stay very long,” she said, not taking her eyes off mine. “She also didn’t say goodbye when she ran past me out the door. Is it reasonably safe to assume your tears and her rapid departure are related?”

I nodded, breaking eye contact in order to turn around and open the fridge. From the shelf on the door, I retrieved a bottle of peach-flavored water. Cracking open the top, I took a long swallow, relishing the way the chilled liquid soothed my parched throat. When I turned back around, I saw that she was still in the exact same spot. Waiting on details.

“Sarah and I had a fight,” I said, leaning back against the fridge. “She thinks I’m keeping secrets from her and I tried to explain that I wasn’t. She doesn’t believe me.” I bit down on my lower lip for a moment before releasing it. “She … doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

She responded with a single nod, then gave me a little smile. “I’m sure it will work out.”

My mouth dropped open. I expected her to be more helpful than that. What happened to the woman who sat on my bed the previous night and discussed my problem with Geoff and Lee while soothing my pain?

“Don’t look at me like that, Penelope. It’s not as if you and Sarah haven’t been mad at each other before. Usually over the silliest issues.”

“What?”

She nodded. “Remember the blow up between you two last year? Over the shopping trip to the mall?”

I shook my head. I was too addled to try and pretend. “Not really.”

She laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Penelope, really. You, Sarah, and some of the other cheerleaders were going shopping for spring formal dresses. Sarah told you to meet them at four, but you misunderstood and showed up an hour late. By the time you got there, the dress you’d had your eye on for a week was already taken.” She shook her head. “You were so mad at Sarah, you wouldn’t take her calls or let her come over for a week.”

“Really?” I didn’t like that story. Mainly because it made me seem as shallow and vengeful as Jen.

“Then you realized how much you missed her and called her to apologize. She came over, you two cried about it, then had a sleepover that very evening.”

A small smile formed on my face. “I remember that,” I said. Even though I didn’t really, I felt like I could perfectly imagine the scene.

“I’m sure whatever has come between you two tonight won’t last. You girls are too good of friends for that to happen.” A small frown appeared on her face. “I just wish you’d been more forgiving when it came to Jennifer.”

I nodded, taking a swallow of water. Then I gasped, choked, and began to cough harshly.

“Penelope?”

I waved my hand, fighting against the burning in my lungs. When I finally got my coughing under control, I stared at her. “Jennifer … Winters?”

She shot me a confused look. “What other Jennifer would I be talking about? Yes, Jennifer Winters.” She shook her head and picked up her wine glass.

I drew in a breath and held it for a moment, gathering my thoughts. There was a history between Penny and Jen. Something that went beyond just being on the same cheer squad. If I read between the lines correctly, we had at one time been … friends.

“I …”

I what? Didn’t know what she was talking about? Hey, mom, guess I forgot about that incident, too. Know what else? I can’t really remember a whole lot of my life from before Monday of this week. I could tell you all about the life and times of a guy named Sam Davenport, but I’m sure you’d just think I’m on drugs.

I decided to go with the safe option. “The thing with me and Jen was different.”

She shrugged. “I know it was, sweetie. And I’m not saying it was your fault. Or even that you could have done anything differently.” She pursed her lips, as if remembering the incident in question. “Still, it was a bad enough falling out to kill a five-year friendship.”

Five years? Penny had been friends with Jen Winters for five years? You had to be kidding me! That would have been, like, sixth or seventh grade. I was pretty sure that Sam didn’t even know her back then. Neither had Cindy. Or, at least, she hadn’t been close friends with her.

“Yeah,” I said. “I guess so.”

“But you two moved past it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be such a good set of leaders for the other girls. Despite you’re no longer being good friends, you manage to work well together.”

I nearly snorted into my water bottle. I might not know a lot about pre-Sam Penny, but I had serious doubts that her and the Ice Bitch ever saw eye to eye on anything. Much less how to run the Raiderettes. It was a sure bet the only reason she made me co-captain in this reality was due to my influence on the rest of the student body.

I mean, if Geoff was catching serious hell over people just assuming that we broke up, I couldn’t imagine the result if people found out that Jen had kicked me off the team.

The microwave dinged behind me and I jumped. Then broke into a hysterical giggle when I realized I wasn’t being attacked. Mom started laughing as well, which only set me into cackling harder. I slid down the front of the fridge to the floor, laughing so hard my ribs started to hurt. Mom had her head in her hands, her own guffaws slightly muffled, but no less powerful.

For the next several minutes, we would slowly get ourselves under control. Then one of us would look at the other and the whole thing would start all over again. I couldn’t help it. With the way I’d been feeling for most of the day, the only thing left to do was laugh.

I was all out of tears for crying.

Dad came in the door about ten minutes after we’d finally managed to decrease the outbursts to a couple of random chuckles as we set the table and heated up the remaining leftovers. As he hung his coat on the rack in the hallway outside the kitchen, he kept looking in our direction, confusion running rampant across his face.

“I feel like I missed something,” he said, stepping back inside and pausing at the doorway. “Are you two okay?”

Mom nodded, glanced over at me, and grinned. “Yes, Darrin. We’re fine. Just a long day for both of us.”

I nodded in agreement, putting out the salt and pepper on the middle of the table. “A really long day.”

Dad walked in and gave me a hug, then moved to mom. He put his arms around her waist and gave her a warm, full kiss. It wasn’t like a precursor to making out, but there was love in it to be sure.

Had they kissed like that when I was Sam? I really couldn’t remember. I think they did. Hell, I hoped they did. Not that it mattered anymore. In this new reality, we were a loving, connected family. I should have felt it was stuffy or oppressive, but it was actually just the opposite.

Watching the two of them, the way they looked at each other, made me only that much more determined to find some way to win Lee back. I wanted what my parents had. Only with the handsome Bronte fan.

Dinner was quick and dotted with little bits of conversation. There was a new acquisition on the horizon for Daddy’s company, which was going to require a ton of financial projections and analyses from him. Hence the lateness of his arrival, and the announcement that it would probably be an ongoing thing for the next couple of weeks.

Mom shared a quick story about having to explain to a little boy that the shots he was about to get would make sure he remained strong and healthy. He’d responded by pointing at the S-shield on his chest and mimicking flying through the air. When he told his little sister about what he’d learned, she wanted superhero shots, too.

I couldn’t think of anything to share about my day. Since any story I would tell only had a crappy ending. So, I took the lame way out and said it was nothing special. Unfortunately, Daddy, who had no inkling of the stuff I’d confided to mom about, felt the need to start asking questions.

“So, tomorrow night’s the big game against Southwest,” he said, taking a roll from the basket and setting it down on his plate. “Geoff and the rest of the guys ready to take them down?”

Geoff. Right. New boyfriend.

I shrugged. “I guess. He, uh, didn’t say anything about the game to me. I suppose they’re ready.”

He nodded. “Well, if you two decide to go out to celebrate afterwards, remind him that you have to be home by midnight.” His eyes stared into mine. “Midnight. Understood?”

I swallowed and gave my head a slight nod. “Understood. We might not do anything afterwards, though. He might just go hang out with the guys.”

The look he gave me said that he believed that story about as much as he believed in the tooth fairy.

“Midnight.” Then he resumed eating.

I glanced over at mom, who gave me a supportive smile. “If you’re done, sweetie, why don’t you go ahead and get your homework done. Your father and I can clean up down here.”

“Thanks,” I said, sliding out of my chair and exiting the dining room.

Back upstairs, I dug “Emma” out of my bag and placed it on the bed. However, every time I tried to open it, I kept thinking about the scene earlier that day with Lee. Had I been reading him wrong? I mean, it seemed like he was into me. Like he really wanted to talk to me. At least until I scared him off by babbling about magic and wishes and the fact that I knew some of his secrets.

I sighed and tossed the book on the desk, rolling over to lie on my back and stare at the ceiling. I was going to have to find some way to get Sarah to forgive me. Even if I had to lie to her and tell her that … that … hell, I didn’t know. I just wanted to have my friend back.

Switching to French, I managed to complete most of the assigned work when I heard mom calling for me from downstairs. I jumped off the bed and bounced down the steps, wondering what was important enough for her to yell up at me.

I rounded the corner and froze at the entrance to the living room. My father was standing in the middle of the room, the television behind him tuned to one of the twenty-four hour news channels. He usually left it playing as background noise while he looked over the financial papers. It was something that I’d seen hundreds of times as Sam. However, it wasn’t the sight of my father that stopped me cold.

It was the boy standing in a casual pose next to him.

“Hey, Pumpkin,” Daddy said, glancing over at me with a little smirking smile. “Guess who decided to stop by.”

Geoff’s face was tinged with red and his shoulders were slightly hunched. He had his hands shoved deeply into the front pockets of his jeans. His hair was damp, and stuck up in a few places. I guess from his after practice shower.

“Hey, Pee-Jay,” he said in a slightly embarrassed voice. “Can we talk?”

I stared numbly at him. I was fairly certain I’d told him to stay away from me not three hours earlier. In fact, I was extremely sure about it. I cut my eyes over to my father, who was looking between us. Right now, he was still smiling. However, I was pretty sure if I made a scene or anything, Geoff would find himself being escorted roughly from the premises.

“Uh,” I stammered, looking back at Geoff. “I thought maybe you just, uh, call.”

He shrugged. “I might have. Been having a problem with my phone lately. Keeps dropping my calls to you.”

I sighed, then used Herculean effort to push a smile onto my face. “Fine, then. Let’s talk.”

Turning around, I exited the room, hearing Geoff follow behind me. I passed right by the stairs and continued down the hall. There was absolutely no way I was going to take him up to my bedroom. There was far too great a chance of getting sidelined by his mouth with that much privacy.

Instead, I led him to the empty kitchen. At least here there was always the chance one of my parents might just stroll in. Which would hopefully keep Hot Lips from making any moves.

I plopped down in one of the chairs, crossing my arms over my chest. While I hoped Geoff would get enough of the hint to sit across from me, with the table safely between us, he opted to take the seat right next to me. Forcing me to turn my back to the door in order to face him.

“I’m sorry if I …”

“Will you fracking stop apologizing already,” I said. I didn’t raise my voice, but there was power and anger behind them. “All it does is make me feel guilty.”

He blinked, leaning back. “Why are you feeling guilty?”

“Because, if not for my stupid wish, you wouldn’t have been so enamored of me that you made your stupid wish. Then I wouldn’t have made a fool of myself with Lee or made Sarah mad at me.”

One of his brows arched in inquiry, but his lips curled in a small expression of amusement.

“You really have been busy today,” he said. “Care to elaborate? Might do you good to talk about it.”

“I’ve already talked about it. To people who actually know me. If they didn’t make me feel better, I sincerely doubt you can.”

He shook his head. “You never know. I might surprise you.”

I snorted. “I doubt that.” Then I narrowed my eyes. “Wait … how did you find my house? Because I know you’ve never been here before.”

Now the wry smile widened. “Funny enough, it seems I programmed your address into my car’s GPS at some point. Probably on our first date. So I just pulled up your name on the screen, pushed the button, and voila!” He did this little flourish with his hands, as if he were pantomiming a stage magician.

“Congratulations,” I said. “You’ve taken crossing personal boundaries to a whole new level.”

The smile vanished from his face. “You do realize that you’re being a hypocrite, right? I mean, let’s look at this for real. Before this past Monday, you were a guy. I’m guessing one who had no romantic feelings for other dudes. Much less Lee Taylor.”

I shrugged, keeping my mouth shut in a hard, tight line.

“Then you become this totally beautiful babe and discover that, surprise, the new you is dating one of the best-looking, friendliest, guys in the whole school. One day, you’re not. The next day, instant relationship.”

“I trust you are getting to your point?”

“I am,” he said. “Which is the fact that you didn’t earn any of that relationship. It was custom-built for you by the stone. However, that didn’t stop you from leaping in and enjoying it, right? Or did you explain to Mr. Taylor that you weren’t really a girl named Pee-Jay until recently and none of the memories he had of you two being together were real?”

The heat rushed onto my face. I blinked, suddenly seeing where his logic train was going.

“That’s … I mean …”

He held up his hand. “Then, I find the stone and realize it will grant me anything that I want. Anything. What do I use it for? To be the boyfriend of the most desirable girl I know. Forget models and movie stars, the only girl I wanted was the one I could never have. Not without a magical wingman.”

“I didn’t wish to be with Lee, Geoff. I think you’re missing that distinction between our wishes.”

He nodded. “I realize that. But you still took advantage of it. Funny, though. From your point of view, it was a two-day relationship. Two days.” He held up two fingers. “By eight tomorrow morning, our relationship will have been two days.”

“We don’t have a relationship, Geoff. We’ve kissed a couple of times. But we haven’t been out on a date. Or sat and just … talked.”

“When have you given us the chance to? You get all freaked out because you realize that you’re attracted to me and run off. I’m here, now. So let’s talk.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t wish to be with you just for the physical connection. I do really want to know you.” He reached back and pulled his phone from his back pocket. “There are a ton of texts between Pee-Jay and Geoff on this thing. A dozens of pictures. They seemed to be a pretty happy couple.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know that is all fiction, right? Those messages, those moments, they’re all fake. Just stuff created by the stone to fill in the gaps. To make the wish run properly or something.”

He nodded. “Yes, I’m aware of that. But that doesn’t mean it has to remain fiction, though. Are you going to tell me the stone didn’t fill in some gaps for you and Lee? To put you two together.”

“Not six months’ worth.”

“Still,” he said, locking his eyes onto mine. “I don’t see why you were okay with jumping right into a relationship with Taylor, but find me offensive.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. I didn’t think I needed to be lectured, or judged, by a guy who had tried to use magic to win the heart of a girl he didn’t even know. The bond between Lee and I might have been established by the stone, but I felt like there had been some actual work involved from my end. I’d opened myself up to the feelings Penny had for the boy, and in doing so, allowed my own to blossom.

“I don’t find you offensive,” I said, shrugging one shoulder. “I mean, yeah, you were a little forward the first time we really met. Cause, hello! Ass grabbing.”

The red jumped onto his cheeks as quickly as if I’d thrown a gallon of paint in his direction. His lips parted slightly, then closed as he swiftly looked to the side, avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah,” he said in a low, slightly shaky, voice. “I was a little out of control there. I … well … I’d had a fantasy for a while now of dipping you back like that and kissing you so passionately that your breath would be taken away.”

I nodded, mainly because it really had been. Every time, actually.

“Was fondling my rear a part of this fantasy of yours?”

The crimson in his cheeks deepened. “Sometimes.”

I barked out a small laugh despite myself. Then I covered my mouth with both hands and felt my own face warm. Geoff’s eyes swung back to me and he gave me a curious look.

“Is that an amused laugh at what I said? Or an amused laugh at the thought of me actually putting that in my fantasy?”

I swallowed another chuckle and rolled my shoulders. “Both, I guess.”

He nodded, then reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, right next to the base of his hairline.

“What can I do to prove that I can be the guy who sent you all those texts? The guy who won Pee-Jay Davenport’s heart?” He left his hand on his neck, and his eyes remained focused on mine. “I really want to be that guy.”

I frowned, slowly pulling my gaze from his to look down at my Nikes.

“I don’t know,” I said in a near-whisper. “I … I can’t stop missing Lee. I’ve never been in love before. Before I was Pee-Jay, I mean. Well, I’d never been in love with someone who might love me back. Lee was the first person to make my heart flutter with his smile. Or my knees weak with his touch.”

I brought my eyes back up to see Geoff nodding. The look on his face was stoic hurt. My words wounded him, but he was trying to keep that to himself. To spare me from even more guilt.

“I saw you two at the pool party,” he said, lowering his hand to rub it on the leg of his jeans. “That purple bikini really looked incredible. I saw how you and Lee were in the water. Just hanging together. You guys weren’t even making out or anything, and I could see the connection there.” His mouth twisted into a tiny smile. “I guess I just wanted that for myself.”

“Geoff, I’m sorry,” I said. “I couldn’t handle being the … being changed by your wish. Which, as you said, was hypocritical of me. Since mine changed a lot of people. They just don’t know it.”

“Okay,” he said, grinning a bit. “We both suck. Question is, where do we go from here? Do you think you could give me a chance? Let me prove to you that I’m not the kind of guy who usually grabs a girl’s butt in public while trying to shove his tongue down her throat?’

I started to shake my head, then stopped. I thought about the way Lee had run away from me the second class was over. Because I’d made him concerned with being too interested in him. Because I had thought, idiotically, that telling him about the wishing stone and my memories of our relationship would make him mine again.

Foolish. Beyond measure.

“I … “

He held up his hand, cutting me off. “No. Don’t answer me right now. Think about it. I really want to prove that I’m a good guy. Someone worthy of you.” He smiled. “I’m not asking you to give your heart to me, Pee-Jay. I’m only asking for a chance to win it.”

I sighed, then returned his smile. “I suppose that’s a fair offer.”

He nodded and rose to his feet. “Thanks,” he said. “For listening to me and being willing to entertain my request.”

I climbed out of my chair. “No, Geoff. You don’t need to thank me. I’ve been behaving like I was better than you. I’m not. I promise to keep an open mind about you. About us.”

He smiled and turned around, walking toward the front door. I followed behind him, my hands clasped together behind my back.

“Good night, Mr. Davenport,” Geoff said as we passed the living room.

My dad looked up from his tablet and smiled. “Good night, Geoff. Good luck tomorrow night against Southwest.”

Geoff pulled open the door and stepped out onto the porch. I followed, shivering a bit at the chilly night air. Unclasping my hands, I wrapped my arms around me.

He turned around and looked down at me. “I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Sweet dreams.” He flashed me another smile, then walked down the steps and along the pathway to a blue and silver pickup truck parked behind my dad’s car.

When he opened the door and climbed inside the driver’s seat, I rushed down the steps and cut across the grass to get to the side of the truck before he could close the door. I put my hand on the inside panel and looked up at him.

“Pee-Jay?” he asked, arching a brow.

“Promise me something,” I said, biting down on my bottom lip. “Promise that if I give you the chance to win my heart, you won’t end up breaking it.”

He stared at me for a moment, his eyes slightly widened. As if I’d just suggested that he might suddenly sprout wings and fly away, leaving me alone and earthbound.

“I wouldn’t,” he said in a shockingly quiet voice. “I’m not even sure I could.”

“Okay,” I said, staring up at him. “That’s a little cryptic.”

He shrugged. “I just get the impression that the only one of us that could break the other’s heart would be you.”

“Me?”

He nodded. “Call it a wish intuition.”

“Now you’re just making things up, Geoff,” I said. “How about I promise to not break your heart either?”

“Better for you to promise to try. I have a feeling the same thing that binds me isn’t binding you.”

I stepped back and he closed the door. Then the truck backed out of the driveway and pulled off down the street. I watched it until the taillights vanished around the corner before heading back inside.

When I closed the front door, I spun around to find my mother standing in the hallway looking at me.

“So, did we decide on Geoffrey?”

I sighed, leaning back against the wooden door. “We decided to give it a try.”

“Give what a try?”

“A relationship.” Then I suddenly remembered who I was talking to and how my words must seem from her point of view. “I mean, try to work out our relationship. You know, be more understanding and patient.”

She nodded. “So I guess this means you’ve settled your feelings for … Lee?”

I sighed. “Not really. But I can’t just go around hurting people simply because I want my cake and to eat it, too. That’s not fair to either of them.”

“So what do you propose to do?”

“I’m going to work on burying my feelings for Lee and try to be a good girlfriend for Geoff. If there’s a chance we could be happy together … uh, again … then I owe it to him to try. Right?”

She smiled. “Penelope, that is the most mature thing I’ve heard you say in a while. Yes, I agree that it is wrong to lead two boys along if you have no desire to commit to either of them. However, if you truly have feelings for this Lee, then you shouldn’t bury them. You know, it is possible to evaluate them without actually acting on them. Then, if you decide that you might be happier with him, I think Geoffrey would understand.”

I shrugged. “I hope so.” Pushing off the door, I headed toward the stairs. “I’m going to go take a bath and soak. Maybe that will help my poor, little brain.”

She laughed. “Just don’t fall asleep in there.”

I shook my head. “I haven’t risked falling asleep in the bath since the first time I saw ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’.”

She reached over and squeezed my shoulder, then moved aside to let me pass. I went up the steps, down the hall, and into the bathroom. A few minutes later, I sat on the edge of the tub while hot water rushed from the spigot and billowing clouds of steam fogged up the mirror.

I peeled off my sweatshirt, t-shirt, and sports bra, dropping them into a neat pile in front of the sink. Reaching down, I trailed my fingers through the rising water, judging the temperature to be just shy of “too hot”. The Lycra pants were peeled down my legs, followed by my panties. I used my foot to push them back to the rest of my discarded clothing.

Stepping carefully, I put one foot, then the other, in the water. The heat threatened to burn my sensitive skin, but the sudden temperature change sent goosebumps rising over the flesh of my arms and legs and made my nipples harden instantly.

I shut off the water and lowered myself slowly into the steaming pool, letting out little gasps as I went. When my privates dipped below the surface, I let out a little whimper of pain, which was quickly followed by a sigh of pleasure. Eventually, I was lying in the bathtub, the water lapping gently at the swells of my breasts.

I closed my eyes and lost myself to the sensations, and let the stress of the day dissipate with the puffs of steam. My situation with the Lee and Geoff conundrum had reached a reasonable solution. Granted, there was a decision to be made, but at least I was at a point where I felt I could objectively assess the two boys and finally pick one without seriously hurting the other.

Sarah, however, was a completely different matter. Yeah, I had to acknowledge that I might have had a slight error in judgment when I tried to tell her about the wishing stone. However, I was also pretty sure that she and Penny had been friends long enough that each of them could tell when the other was lying.

If that was the case, then that meant that Sarah had, on at least some subconscious level, known that I was telling the truth. Had she run off because the prospect of accepting the fact that her past wasn’t actually real was too overwhelming? Or had she fled for a different reason?

All I knew for sure was, just like Lee, I felt her absence like a heavy weight in my stomach. The more I thought about it, the more I began to recognize its familiarity.

At the beginning of junior year, Cindy was invited to audition for the Elite. She’d been on the JV squad, but being a “baby cheerleader” didn’t automatically qualify one for the Raiderettes. However, one of the stipulations was that any social connections had to be sanctioned, at least in theory, by Jen.

Rather than simply tell me that she preferred the stuck-up bitches to hanging out with me, she just began to make excuse after excuse as to why she couldn’t come around. The rest of the group readily accepted that the beautiful swan had finally decided to ditch the weirdo dorks.

For six months, she ignored my phone calls, made excuses as to why she couldn’t come over, and generally pretended like I didn’t even exist at school.

I hadn’t realized how much I counted on her being around until she wasn’t.

That same feeling was running through me now. Even though I thought mom might be right about the two of us patching things up, a part of me worried that she was gone forever.

I climbed out of the tub, the water having since grown cold. After toweling off, I used the hairdryer to chase the wetness from the chestnut strands, then wrapped the thick terrycloth around my middle, gathered up my dirty clothes, and went back to my room.

Even though it was only around nine, I decided to turn in. I pulled on a pair of dark blue sleep shorts and a matching tank top. The word “Princess” was written in pink cursive letters across the chest, with the two letters on each end curving around the expansive swell of my chest.

From the closet, I pulled out the only outfit that would be acceptable to wear for Game Day: the blue and white cheer uniform of a Benson High Raiderette.

I draped the uniform over the back of the desk chair, then climbed into bed with my phone in my hand.

Turning off the light, I lay there in the dark, scrolling through the images stored on the device. The juxtaposition between the myriad of images and my own feelings was blatantly obvious. Penny seemed like a really happy girl. Always. There wasn’t a single picture where she wasn’t smiling. How could someone having that great a time in life be the same girl lying in the dark, wondering if the hole in her heart was ever going to heal.

Sighing, I closed the gallery and opened the messaging app. Tapping on Sarah’s name, I chewed on my lower lip before my fingers began to move on their own.

“I’m sorry I upset you earlier. I didn’t mean to.” Then I hit Send.

Less than thirty seconds later, she responded.

“Okay.” The single word had all the punch of a tenth-level barbarian.

“I miss you.” I responded. “Still BFFs?”

This time, her reply took almost two minutes.

“Truth? About you and the rest?”

What do I do? She already ran off because I’d tried telling her the truth. However, I didn’t feel right lying to her.

“Maybe tomorrow,” I typed, hoping that would buy me some time to come up with a suitable explanation that would appease her curiosity.

“Bye.”

My breath hitched in my lungs and I stared at the screen. This was as bad as trying to reconcile being torn between Lee and Geoff. Maybe I could get them, Tabitha included, to help me convince Sarah of the truth. Hell, if I could get the bitchy blonde to actually agree with me in public should be enough to convince anyone of anything.

I tapped on the side of the phone, then placed it on the nightstand. Rolling over, I stared into the darkness, my brain a mess of jumbled thoughts. When sleep finally overtook me, I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying.