Chapter 1.3

I opened my eyes and looked around. Carla was not in sight.

I contacted John, and when he came in, I told him what had happened.

"Let me get this straight, Rose. You voluntarily scanned the memories of Amos Goodwin? What is wrong with you?"

I knew he was right, but I wanted to defend my actions. "I wanted to be able to say to Carla, either she was wrong, or I was."

"That's not Carla, Rose!"

"I know that now, John, but you wondered why I did what I did!"

He stared at me for a long moment, then asked me, "Do you think he'll keep his word?"

I thought about what I had learned of Amos. He seemed to have changed at the end. "Yes, John, I do."

He looked down, then touched the intercom switch. "Marc and Kari Dodson: please report to Carla Richards' lab."

I knew what he was doing, and I glared at him. He was going to remove me from command.

When Marc and Kari arrived, that's precisely what he did. I felt somewhat sick as it was my husband who was doing it.

"Marc and Kari," he said, and I could see that he wasn't enjoying this anymore than I was. "I am fulfilling my responsibilities as second in command of this vessel, and removing Rose from command."

Marc and Kari stared at him as tears came to both our eyes. "I want you to see a psychologist, Rose."

"I'm not debating that he might hurt someone else, John. He needs capturing: or Carla does."

"Uh... Would it be too much to ask that someone explain what's going on here?" Marc asked. "Carla needs to be captured? And what 'he' are we talking about?"

"Rose touched Amos' memory crystals which Carla brought on board the ship when she transferred from N22."

"What?" Kari screamed! "What the hell were you thinking, Rose?"

Marc was shocked as well. "Why would you want to experience his memories?"

I didn't have anything to say. "I'm tired," I said. "I need to lie down."

"In the hospital."

"John, I'll be fine."

"The hospital. Please don't make me escort you there."

For some reason, that he would threaten to make sure I went to the hospital was the last straw. "I suppose it's better than sharing a bed with you," I said acidly. Then I was out the door.

I regretted what I said immediately, but my pride wouldn't allow me to go back and apologize. I kept walking with my head held high. I wanted to run to someplace I could hide from everyone, but I couldn't do it. Again, my pride got in the way.

Why did John have to relieve me? Dammit, I loved him more than life itself, and now I was furious with him! I didn't hate him. I still loved him. In fact, I loved him more. He did something that I didn't think I would have been able to do in his place. He had removed his wife from her position. I don't think I would ever be strong enough to do the same to him.

I entered the hospital, and Doctor Sylvia met me at the door. "Hi, Rose. I've heard what happened. Rachel is waiting in room five."

She allowed me the dignity of walking to the room myself, at least. I entered, and there was a hospital gown lying across the bed. I guess I was going to be staying for a while.

I didn't change as Rachel was sitting in a chair beside the bed. She offered to leave the room, but I was adamant. I had lost my command. I'd be damned if I was going to lose my dignity.

I sat down on the bed and looked at her. "I'm exhausted. I'd rather talk later."

She considered a moment, then stood up. She squeezed my hand, then left. "I'll be back later," she told me as she left.

I looked around and grimaced. There was no decoration in the room. It was sterile, and I hated it immediately. I stood and picked up the gown. I thought of putting it on, but then a feeling of rage came over me. I wanted to rip the gown to shreds, but that would only give them ammunition. I decided instead to fold it and set it on the tray. I had to try twice to get it folded neatly; my hands were shaking so badly.

I lay down and had a hard time getting to sleep, even though I was telling the truth when I said I was exhausted. Finally, I did fall asleep. I dreamed about Amos' memories, which wasn't surprising considered what had happened that day. When I woke up, I sensed a presence in the room and was scared out of my mind. I looked at the chair and expected to see Carla. Instead, I saw John sitting there.

I started to cry, and he practically jumped to my side. I didn't say anything when he told me to move over. I just did it, then he lay down beside me and wrapped his arms around me. It felt so good. I buried my face in his chest and cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke, John was still there.

"Hey, sleepyhead. How are you doing now?"

I couldn't have slept very long. John had responsibilities as Commander. He wouldn't neglect that, would he?

"John, how long was I asleep?"

"About eighteen hours," he told me.

"Eighteen hours!? You were here that long? What about finding Amos?"

He sighed. "I'm not in command, Rose."

I pushed away from him. "What? Why!?"

"You think, with you stuck here after what you experienced, that I could keep focused on command? I needed to be here with you."

"John, Amos needs to be caught! Who's in command?"

"After you left, I briefed Marc and Kari and then handed command to Kari. She accepted the position with the provision that, as soon as you were deemed ready, you would resume your place."

I mulled that over. He made perfect sense. I knew I wouldn't have been able to keep my mind on command with John in the hospital. We had always wondered if the bots had augmented our feelings for each other, and now I knew they had. John would have the same problems focusing on his responsibilities.

"So, what are your duties now?" I asked him.

"Just one. To stay with you."

"So, you're relieved as well?"

"Yes and no." He grinned at my look of confusion. "If I remember right, Kari said, 'Go be with Rose. That's an order.'" He paused a moment. "That was her first order too. She's got the command thing down."

I grinned and lightly punched him on the shoulder.

A few minutes later, Dr. Sylvia brought some food in for us. I looked at her strangely. "How come you're serving..."I glanced at the plates. "Dinner?"

"Have you looked at the clock?" She asked me.

"It says two."

"That's AM, Rose."

"Oh." I was taken aback. I guess when John told me eighteen hours, I hadn't realized what that meant. I hadn't even glanced at the clock since I entered the hospital.

I thought over the time in those memories turned to John. "How long was I in the crystals?"

"No more than ten minutes as far as I can tell. We checked over the video and audio logs of that office. Carla left about thirty seconds before you came out of it. You were almost motionless for that entire time."

I know my jaw dropped. It felt like hours! I had gone through most of Amos' memories from childhood. How was it only such a short time?

I realized that Sylvia and John were both staring at me.

"What?" John wondered.

"I experienced Amos' childhood, John. Almost all of it!"

"You know that a dream can feel like it took hours, but they only last about twenty to thirty minutes. I'm guessing that you experienced what you did because the bots put things in your mind as a collective."

I thought about Carla, and I wondered how long she felt she had been there. I knew what Amos had told me about her, but I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth. Why would he tell the truth about his intentions but not about her? Was she really dead? I sighed and pushed my plate away. I'd only eaten about half of it, but I wasn't hungry any longer.

In just ten minutes, my life had been turned upside down. I learned that my little sister hadn't actually been my little sister for several centuries. Instead, she had been an automaton who could only do what Amos told her. I learned that much of what Amos had done was because of me. I leaned against John again and started to cry. This time, though, it was too much, and I wept. All those people killed because a madman was infatuated with me. The entire world had been wiped out because he couldn't have me. I wasn't sure I could live with it.

Sylvia slipped out, and a few minutes later, I heard a knock on the door. I still had my face buried in John's chest, and I just said, "Go away!"

Whoever it was ignored me, and I could hear them sit down. I looked up and saw that it was Rachel. I sighed. I didn't want to talk to her, but I knew it was best if I did. I sat up and gripped John's hand tightly. He wasn't going anywhere.

"Do you want me to..." He started to ask.

"That's up to Rose," she said.

"Stay here," I told him. "I need you to stay here."

"I guess I'm staying, Doc."

Rachel smiled, then said to me, "I'm guessing that what you saw in Amos' mind was terrible."

I could barely speak as I thought of what he had done. "He had no remorse at all! It was indescribable."

I told her what I had seen. A lot of what I said, John hadn't heard, and he was shocked. He had started in on the food I hadn't finished, but partway through my narrative, he slid the plate away and looked somewhat green. He slipped off the bed and out of the room. I stopped speaking, and Rachel nodded.

"We can wait," she said. "I think you need him to hear this. He needs to know what you are dealing with."

When John came back in, I was quiet. He sat down beside me, then said, "I'm alright, Hon. Go ahead and continue."

I carefully gauged his expression. I knew he was anything but alright, but he needed to hear the rest.

"When Carla and I got control, I was determined to show him my side. To show him what he had done to the person he supposedly cared for."

I explained what I had shown him and how he had apparently changed. When I was done, I looked down at my hands, which had been nervously picking at the blanket. "He wasn't truthful, was he? He doesn't care who he hurts. Even me."

"I doubt he was, Rose."

I suddenly realized what that meant. "What about Paula and Fred? Mom and Dad?"

"It's already taken care of. There are guards outside of their apartments, and wherever they go, they'll be accompanied.

"I was a fool." As neither one said anything, I knew I was right.

Finally, Rachel asked, "Why did you hold out hope that he had changed?"

"When he realized that I was trans, he was shocked. He hadn't known that. I know he never realized. We went through so much. He had to have felt my emotions, so I hoped that he would realize what he had done to me. The person he supposedly..." The words tasted foul in my mouth. "Loved."

"Is there any way he could keep from receiving your emotions?" Rachel wondered.

"I didn't see anything, but I suppose anything is possible. He invented both the bots and the crystals, so I suppose he could have invented some way of making up memories or changing them. For that matter, I don't know if Carla was real, or something to make me think I had more control in a dive than I really did."

I suddenly thought of something that terrified me. "How do I know I'm really outside of the crystals now? I might still be there!"

John reached out, but I slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me! How do I know it's really you?" My fear skyrocketed as I considered what may be happening.

As I thought of my situation, I realized that there was no way I could determine where I was. How could I ever know for sure? I wouldn't.

John looked me in the eyes. There was something there that seemed to indicate he was authentic. At least, I didn’t know how anyone would imitate that quality. It was something intangible that I felt.

I talked for a while with both John and Rachel, then I spoke only to Rachel for a little while. We determined that there was no reason for me to stay in the hospital. I would go home with John, and Rachel would visit daily. It seemed like my counseling would be compressed into a short amount of time, but I was the commander, and the quicker I could get back to my position, the better.

John and I went home soon after I finished talking to Rachel. Later that day, my parents stopped by, wondering why they had heard that Kari was in command. We sat down, and I started explaining when there was a knock on the door. Paula and Fred entered our apartment, and I had to restart my tale.

When I finished, I had a problem. Four people were absolutely glaring at me. I looked at John for help, and he shrugged his shoulders as if to say “You got yourself into this mess. You can get yourself out.”

I tried many different ways to work my way back into everyone’s good graces, but it seemed as though it just wasn’t going to happen.

I spoke with Rachel several times over the next couple of weeks until she grudgingly told me I could resume command. On the condition that I let her know if I had any doubts.

I agreed. “Yeah, right!”

On the bridge, the following day, Kari and Marc were happy to see John and me. We went into the briefing room on the command deck, and they filled me in on what had happened while I was gone.

A search for Amos was running, but no one had seen anything of him. I felt like such a fool for believing that he had changed. Why couldn't we find him? He was in Carla's body for crying out loud. She and I looked so much alike, I didn't think anyone could miss her. So why were we?

I asked the others what they thought, and honestly, they didn't know. It seemed so strange. This ship was a lot bigger than both the others we had been on, and its technology was much superior. Still, none of the internal monitors seemed to be picking him up.

Of course, it could have to do with the length of time he had been aboard. Waiting for us to return from outside the galaxy. The time to memorize every nook and cranny of the ship was there.

I sighed as we seemed to be getting nowhere in our discussion. Kari had worked in security since before we left Earth, and she had organized a meticulous search. I couldn't fault her for anything she had done.

At the end of the day, our relief crew came to the bridge, and we exited. John and I made our way to a beautiful spot on board where we could be alone.

N21 and N22 had was no means to go from one bay to another, except by going to the inner rings. This ship, the Neo22, had a ring that circled outside the bays as well. A "U" corridor went from one set of bays to the others while connecting it. Each "U" had three levels, including the corridor. The others were observation areas.

The floors of the ship were dependent on its artificial gravity, so walking through the "U" was a strange experience. It was a seventy-foot wide corridor that always looked like it was curving downward. Still, you continually felt like you were walking on a level surface.

To reach the observation area below was even more confusing. Rather than the floor being oriented the same way, walking down the ramp took you in a spiral where you standing one hundred and eighty degrees to the level above, or rather, below. What was now above you, was an enormous, arched ceiling to the outside, looking toward the ship.

The other level was much easier to understand. There was simply a ramp up to it. There, the only thing to mar the view was at the midpoint of the floor. Another tube stretched off in both ways as it made its way around the outer perimeter of the ship.

There were twenty-four such observation areas, and each one had its own function. The one that connected to the bay our home was in was ours. We had absconded with it shortly after coming on board the ship. My husband, with his engineering skills, had turned it into a new restaurant for me. Both the inward-looking and outward-looking fell under the name Heaven's Rose. The inside looking side was a much more casual, while the outer was a very classy dining room.

Above the kitchen, was a completely private place, sealed off from everything. It was about thirty feet from side to side and took up the entire width of the ring. There was about fifty feet from floor to ceiling in the center part, and somehow, with the use of holograms, the stars that you couldn't see were projected. It seemed that you were standing in the middle of space, with nothing around to hold in an atmosphere. Only the feel of the firm deck below provided any sense of security.

We entered the space and looked around. I felt so small every time I walked in with the vastness of space stretching out before me. In the middle of the room was a pair of chairs, and we made our way to them. We weren't in a hurry. I wanted to unwind after a hard day. We had almost made it to the chairs when I stopped. John was talking about the view when he saw what I did. Seated in one of the chairs was Carla. She was looking away from us, but she had to have heard our talking. There was no escape for us, so we stepped into her view. Her eyes were closed, and if it hadn't been for her breathing, I would have thought she was dead.

I looked her up and down and realized that she was holding Amos' memory crystals. What was going on?

"John, call Kari. Let's get Carla into a stasis pod until we can figure this out."

He didn't reply, which was different. He simply took my hand and pulled me with him.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You think I'm leaving you alone with that madman? You've got another thing comin'."

"John, I'll be okay."

"Yeah, you will. You're not staying here without me. I'm saying that not as 2nd in command, but as your husband. There is no way I'm allowing that."

I glared at him for a moment, but then I realized he was being very wise. We had no idea what was going on. Anything could happen.

It was just a few minutes until Kari, and a contingent of guards arrived.

Carla hadn't moved the entire time, and they moved her to a gurney to be transferred to the medical bay. A little while later, we received word that she was in a stasis pod, and cooling down.

Amos was out of our lives.

End of Part 1.
Part 2 will be coming soon! Stay tuned!