To Not Let Go

Chapter 3.4

I looked at my arms and legs. “Did Amos put something in me that stops the bots from continuing?”

“Your parents are on the way. They know more about bots than anyone,” Jack told me.

A moment later, Sylvia entered the room and gave me a glass of something to drink. It tasted horrible, and I barely got it down. After I drank the wretched stuff, I closed my eyes. I think I heard the doctors leave, then I felt John get on the bed with me again. I leaned into him as best I could without making my limbs hurt more, and tried to sleep.

Whether I did or not is anyone's guess. I just knew I heard John's voice very quickly, and opened my eyes. My Dad and Mom were standing in the doorway, and a few minutes later, Jack and Sylvia came into the room as well. I sat up as best I could, and John swung his legs over the edge of the bed, offering to help prop me up, as leaning on my arms would be uncomfortable.

“Well, Rosie,” Dad said, “This is a bit of a problem.” My stomach did a flip-flop at his words. Much as I knew none of us was immortal, I still didn’t want to die anytime soon.

“How?”

“I've checked out the metal used in your boots. The boots were coated inside with an alloy that would stop the reproduction of your bots. The normal cycle of a bot is about nine months, so the only bots you had left were the ones made within the three months before you went downstairs."

“That couldn't have been a regular alloy. That was a normal thing for a pony. Some of the horses like Belinda had…" I realized what I had just said.

“Belinda?” John asked. “As in Belinda Smythe?”

My throat was suddenly dry. I nodded.

“You didn’t say anything,” Mom commented.

“How could I tell Rashda that her body has been changed. Enlarged and made to be a quadruped, so that she can hold a saddle big enough to carry a man?”

Mom paused for a few moments. “Does she know who she is?”

I shook my head. “She’s a horse. That’s it. I don’t know if there’s anything left of those people downstairs to try to restore them.”

I wasn’t really interested in talking after that, but I still heard what my parents had to say. Dad told me that he was going to inject me with new nanobots tuned to my crystals. I would need to be in isolation for a little while as they slowly built my supply up.

It appeared that Amos was planning on putting a new set of bots in me that was tuned to a different frequency.

Before Daddy left, he turned back. “Each person down there has their memories stored in their crystals. Unless those have been destroyed, we should be able to bring them back. The one problem is returning their bodies to normal, although if I can find copies of their DNA, that won’t be a problem.”

”Rose.” My name was whispered. “Rose.” A little louder that time.

“Hmmm," I said as I snuggled into my pillow a little deeper.

“Rose.” Paula spoke that time, and I sat up.

“Owww!" I felt like screaming, but I held back. Sitting up had put a bit of pressure on the holes in my arms. I think the cauterization had broken loose in one spot.

“Sorry, Sis,” Paula told me as she put some pressure on the now bleeding spot on my arm.

“Ow!” This time, I did yell, and poor John, who was in his chair asleep, with his head leaning against the wall, sat forward.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Well, as long as you're awake, would you call a doctor?" Paula asked.

He didn't question it but just did.

A couple of minutes later, Sylvia entered. When she saw what Paula was doing, she hurried out of my room, then back in, carrying a tray with some supplies.

"What happened?"

"I jumped, and I think I injured my arm, " I told her.

"Uh, huh." I watched as she pulled a small curved needle out of her kit and some black thread.

"Uh, Doctor?" Not since I was very young had I had any of the treatments I was getting now. I was slightly nervous.

"It's going to take a few months before your bots can take on the task of keeping you healthy, not to mention healing any trauma. This will hopefully help you heal." She poured something on my arm, which stung at first, but then the wound went numb. I sighed in relief as she started to sew something.

She removed the bandages from my leg and looked closely. She took a magnifier and placed it over her eyes, then bent close. She had sewn the wounds when they removed the boots, and now, she took a pair of tweezers and touched the edge of the injury. I jumped! It hurt like hell!

"I thought that stuff was supposed to help kill the pain?"

"Be glad I gave it to you, " she told me.

"Oh."

She straightened. "I'll be right back."

She didn't come back immediately, but Daddy did enter.

"Sylvia said you needed to see me."

"Well, I didn't know that, but you're always welcome," I told him.

He pulled up a chair to the end of my bed and looked at my legs under a scope just like Sylvia had. He shook his head, then asked Paula to roll up her sleeves.

He looked at her the same way, then asked John if he could see his hand.

John held out a hand, and Daddy brought out a scalpel. John pulled his hand back quickly. "Now wait a minute, Dad. What's going on?"

"I can definitely tell you that Paula and Rosie have no granulation of new tissue in their wounds."

Sylvia walked in, along with Jack, at that moment.

"We knew that the bots replaced the immune system. They handle the healing also. Apparently, our bodies don't have that mechanism on their own anymore, " Daddy explained.

"You think they might have sabotaged my bots as well?"

"When was the last circus fight you were in?"

"It's been a while, " John admitted. Probably four months ago. We were in prison for a while, though."

"Uh, huh. Can I see your hand?"

Reluctantly, John held out his hand. Daddy simply pricked it with the scalpel, and then looked through the scope at the wound. He started for a few moments, then said, "There is a bit of granulation, but nowhere near what should be there."

He paused, then his teaching mode seemed to get the better of him. "The bots are mainly organic in nature. Think of them as a white blood cell with jaws. With these jaws, they can pull a cell from its normal place and modify it. Then they can put it in a completely different place. When they modify the cell, they can even change it's DNA." He paused for a moment. "It sounds impossible, but that's it." He gestured at Paula and me." I've injected new bots in you two and looking at the sample that Sylvia took to the lab, they are there, but there's not enough to fix these wounds. Oh, over time, they would, but I doubt you want to wait a couple of months, do you?"

"No, " Paula answered. I just shook my head.

He held up a couple of vials. They contained what looked like blood. "These are bots that I've tuned to your bodies already. I'm going to inject a new supply right into the wounds. They should start working almost immediately." He watched as Sylvia took a drop of John's blood and left the room, then turned to Jack. We should get Marc and Bob in here to check on them too."

"I've already called them Vern."

Daddy nodded, then turned back to us. "Paula, I think you'd better lay back down. I'm not sure if you're going to feel this or not. You could be exhausted for a bit. They're going to need some tissue to build more."

Jack stepped to my side and took one of the syringes from my father. He injected it into my arm, then opened a small case, lifted out something little and black with a pair of tweezers, and placed it in my arm. "Ferrous sulfate, " he explained. "There's no reason to make the bots pull iron from hemoglobin to reproduce."

He looked at my arm again and gave a thumbs up to Daddy. I was getting tired fast, so I leaned back. I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I closed them. I must have gone to sleep because when I opened them again, it was just me and John laying down. I was still tired, so I closed my eyes and was back out.

It was a week after I had received the shots of surplus bots, and I was home. We were at a loss as to how to deal with Amos now. Risking our people to the possibility of losing their bots was not a great idea, as far as we were concerned.

I was sitting at the dining room table, going over what had happened. I had absolutely refused command. Until we knew that Amos had no way to beat us, Rashda would keep the ship. I got up and moved to the kitchen. I knew John would be back soon. He had gone to talk to Marc about some ideas. He hadn't explained it to me, and when I asked, he refused, saying, "There is no way in hell, you are going downstairs again. I caved once, Rose, but not again."

I was pissed! How dare he tell me I couldn't go back!? I was an adult! I didn't need anyone, let alone my husband telling me I wasn't allowed to do something!

While he was gone, Rashda called me and said there seemed to be some confusion as to who was in command. Now, I was furious. I yelled at Rashda, called him every name I could think of, and then some. I screamed at him some more, and then realized I was making a fool of myself, and, in fact, showing why I was too close to the situation to be in charge.

I stopped my tirade, and after a moment of silence, I apologized.

"No problem, Rose."

I knew he meant that, and I felt two inches tall.

John came in as I was making some dinner. He entered the kitchen and watched for a while. Finally, he commented, "Rashda called, didn't he?"

"Why do you say that?" I asked him.

He watched as I continued making some dinner.

"You usually don't put chocolate sauce in pulled pork," he told me.

I looked at what I was doing and then started giggling. I couldn't help it. Even though I had apologized to Rashda, I was still furious both at him and John. I was determined not to let my husband know how mad I was, but I guess I hadn't been successful.

"Would you believe I was experimenting?" I asked through my giggling.

He gave me his lopsided grin. "Might be good, " he said matter of factly.

Pearl walked into the kitchen at that moment. "Whatcha making, Mom?" she asked me and stuck her finger into the 'bbq' pork I had been trying to make, and then into her mouth. "Gross!" she exclaimed.

"Then again, " John said, deadpan.

My giggling became full-fledged laughter, and I leaned back against the counter behind me. I laughed so hard that tears came to my eyes. John joined in, and Pearl must have thought we'd lost our minds, but it felt good. I hadn't laughed in a while, and I needed it.

Strangely, I hadn’t been working in my restaurant for quite some time. After my fiasco with the dinner at home, I felt the need to get out and do something I enjoyed. I had been relaxing with music for quite a while, but it just didn’t seem to be enough.

Even before we were married, John always had a standing invite to dinner, as did our friend Perl. Now, at Heaven’s Rose, John still had his meals there when I was cooking working in the kitchen, as did our daughter, Pearl.

It was several days later that I felt up to my normal level in a kitchen, and I worked up a dinner of prime rib and several different complementary vegetables. I had our meals brought to my private table, above the rest of the dining room.

We sat down to eat, and I looked down at the dining room. Lots of people seemed happy that I had reopened the restaurant, but the amount of people here was much less than usual. I suppose the proximity to the DMZ stood in the way of many people attending. I didn't know what to do regarding that. It seemed that sitting, terrified of what could happen, was no way to spend your time.

Something strange happened below soon after we were done eating. A woman entered, and she looked familiar, but something bothered me. I wasn't sure what, but it was nagging at me. I observed as she was brought to a private booth across the way from us. It was eerie. I wasn't sure why, but I was even more unsettled now. My husband and daughter seemed to catch a bit of my unease, and John looked across the way. He stood up. "What the hell?"

Then I realized what was going on. "It's Belinda!" She stood and looked directly at us, then started walking around the upper level. A moment later, she was standing into the doorway of our private booth.

"May I sit?" She asked.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, " John said.

"Why not? How many times did Rose ask me to join you? I'm now accepting that invitation."

Pearl stood. "You're Amos, aren't you?"

"Very astute, young lady. You get an A."

Our daughter looked at us both, then said, "I don't think my parents want you here. I suggest you leave."

"But I've already asked Rashda to come here. Do you want to disappoint him?" She gestured at the floor of the dining room. "There he is."

I looked down, and sure enough, there he was. He had caught sight of 'Belinda' and was standing motionless, starting up at her. He hurried to the ramp and came up to our level and hurried to the door. Amos sat down. John made room for Pearl, and she sat down.

"What's going on?" Rashda asked. "How are you up here?"

Amos turned to me. "I know you had to have seen me, Rose. Didn't you tell little Pookie what happened to me?"

"I saw Belinda, Amos. And no, I didn't tell Rashda what happened to her."

"But why? Don't you think he deserves to know?" She, or rather he turned to Rashda, and the voice became Amos'. "Sit down, Commander."

"No!" I almost shouted.

"Rose, how many times do I have to tell you that you are no longer in command?" Amos asked, mildly.

"If he sits down, all bets are off. I resume command."

"And why is that?"

"Somehow, you can destroy the bots in a person. You tried to do it with me."

He laughed as he changed shape. He became Amos once more. "Did you think I had no recourse? That you could lock me away from my bots?"

"We took that chance, " I said. "It appears that we may have been wrong?"

A childish giggle escaped him. "May have been?"

"I'm not convinced yet."

"Should I convince you?"

I weighed the risks. I didn't think he had much more he could do to us, but he had those people downstairs, and I didn't want to risk them.

"What do you want, Amos?"

"I'm just here for a visit, John."ⁿ

My husband shook his head. "No. You're not."

Again, the giggle. "You're right. Rashda is coming with me. I have a little horsey down there who misses her husband."

“Why didn’t you tell me, Rose?”

I shook my head. “She’s not the same as me, Rashda.”

He turned to face me. “What do you mean?”

“I was made into a pony. She has been changed into a horse.”

He didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to have to explain.

I glanced at John, but he didn’t know how to explain. Amos was grinning from ear to ear, enjoying my discomfort.

“Don’t you think Rashda should know, Rose?”

I felt trapped. I knew what Belinda was, but I didn’t want to be the one to tell my friend. I opened my mouth, and no sound came out.

I watched, horrified as the commander turned to Amos. “Take me to her,” he told the madman.

“No!” I exclaimed.

“Rose. This isn’t your fight. This is personal. I’m giving control of the station back to you.”

“You’ll be changed! You will probably never see her!” John told him.

“I’ll take that chance. What would you do if it were Rose down there?”

John didn’t say any more. I didn’t either. I couldn’t.

Amos stood up. “Well, this is very interesting, wouldn’t you say? I probably shouldn’t agree to this, but… My heart… I feel so giving right now.”

He turned to me. “I will allow you to resume your command. I keep control of the command areas of the ship, however. All that you command, are your people. Rashda comes with me.”

“I want him back here tomorrow,” I told Amos.

He seemed to consider it, then nodded. “Alright.”

“Alive,” John interjected.

“I give my word, that when I bring Rashda up here tomorrow, he will be alive.” He started walking away, leading the former commander. He stopped and turned. “Until tomorrow. Same time, same place.” Then they left Heaven’s Rose.

I didn’t get much sleep that night. Rashda had asked what John would do if it were me down there. I know what John would do. The same thing that Rashda was doing. And, if the positions were reversed, I knew that I would move heaven and earth to get John back.

I couldn’t fault Rashda. He and Belinda had a special relationship, and I knew it had to be killing him to leave her downstairs with Amos. The problem was, I was afraid that going downstairs would kill him as well.

When I got up, I didn’t want to face the day. I felt that it would be grim, and I knew John did as well. The doctors and my family had already discussed the possible outcomes for Rashda, and Daddy was hoping that he could stop whatever Amos had come up with for the bots inside our friend.

John and I went to the restaurant, everyone was standing by to do whatever they could.

True to his word, Amos showed up with Rashda, at the appointed time. They sat down across the table from us. Amos obviously saw the security that I had all over the dining room, but he smirked. “Are you ready for whatever horrible things I might do today, Rose?”

I simply glared at him.

“Not to worry, My Dear. As promised, Mr. Smythe is returned to you, physically unharmed.”

I looked at Rashda, and while he did appear to be physically unharmed, that was not to speak for his mental well being. He looked haggard. I know what I saw in the six months that I was down there, and I wondered what he had seen in just one day.

Amos stood. “If you will excuse me, I have some discipline to attend to.”

He stood and made his way out of the restaurant. John stared at Rashda, then asked, “What happened down there?”

Rashda was shaking in his seat, but he didn’t respond.

“Was she alright?”

“She was a horse.”

I reached out to his hand, sitting on the table. “I’m so sorry, Rashda,” I started.

Suddenly, he was furious. “Why didn’t you tell me to begin with? When I could have done something?”

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. “You love those old shows, Rosie.” The way he said my name was filled with venom. “You ever watched The Godfather?”

With that, he stood up and stormed off. I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I had, and if what happened in the movie happened to Rashda, it would be a very long time before he was anywhere approaching normal.