Helen's Diary: Happy Birthday

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Dear Momma,

Today is bitter sweet. I always wanted to tell you about me but the society we live in today and the community structure has lead me to lead a very different life than the one I imagined for myself. Every time I wanted to speak up I would be interrupted in one way or another. Over time, I just became more withdrawn and more assured in my heart that I had to wait for the right moment. I only realize now that that moment was never going to come.

Well today, after many, many years of putting it off, I finally have the courage to tell you a deep secret that I have kept guarded nearly all of my life. It just kills me that I could not tell you while you were still here.

Momma, I want to say that you would have been surprised but I found your letter. How you found out about me I cannot even imagine but really I shouldn't have been surprised from all the stories you told me growing up. I should have known better that my mom was a complete and total badass. I know that everything you did in life was to protect me and though I might have completely misread the situation I know now that I can fight my butterflies and actually tell you that I forgive you.

All this time I thought I had gotten the better of you when you were eons ahead of me, its no wonder you always beat me at chess. Though to be fair you were the one who taught me everything I know... note to self, "Get off the tangent train before you lose the audience!" Now where was I? I'm just never going to sharpen my pencil (get to the point?) Aren't I?

Well I guess that's pretty much it. I don't need to tell you how awesome you are just that I miss you and I will always love you.

Happy birthday Mom

Oh and I forgot to mention I got a letter from Dad a few days ago but I haven't read it yet. I'm going to go see him first, hopefully he is as understanding of my true feelings as you have written about your feelings about me. C U if I get there <3.

WAIT! One more thing. About that eons thing I was just making a "one step ahead" idiom. Please let the record show I was not i repeat NOT calling you old!

Ok I'm done.

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