Cheese, Chalk and Plenty of Pork – Part 05 of 10

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Cheese, Chalk and Plenty of Pork – Part 05 of 10
by Lin Dale

Synopsis: When Greta meets Gavin at her rich father’s second wedding, she immediately falls in love. But, just like cheese and chalk, he is a beautiful, slim young man and she is heavily obese; she needs to find some way to stop him wandering off. Her father’s new wife has problems facing up to her role as a Lady, so she decides to involve Gavin in a project with certain challenges.

Author’s Note: This story is complete and in ten parts which will be released at approximately daily intervals. It contains items such as crossdressing, non-explicit sex between adults and language typical of that between English adults. If you feel this may offend you, then please do not read.

Part 5 – No Briefs on the Legal Brief

It was around six am when he arrived back at the Fox and Hounds, and he was amazed to see the rather pleasant middle-aged woman he’d chatted with over dinner on Thursday clutching a briefcase and getting into a taxi.

“You’re making an early start,” he said.

She gave him a lovely smile. “Part of my job,” she said. “I’ll be back for lunch. I wonder, would you mind eating together? Only there’s this guy staying here who’s always trying to hit on me. Say one o’clock?”

He’d said the words, “That sounds great,” before he remembered that he was still firmly in chastity. Still, she was middle-aged, it was only a lunch invite and she only wanted him to put off some pushy guy.

“It’s a date then,” she said, as she slammed the taxi door shut and it set off.

In spite of his predicament, he couldn’t help smiling at his new date.


They hadn’t actually exchanged names on their previous brief encounter, so as he approached her table in the restaurant he said, “Hi, I’m Gavin.” He noticed the smarmy guy watching them from a nearby table.

He’d spent most of the morning catching up on his sleep whilst also recharging his munt, but he felt great, now, apart from his cock being caged. Even that didn’t feel so bad after the servicing it’d had earlier that day.

“I’m Clarissa,” she said, and then, observing his sudden smile, added, “I know, it’s a stupid name.”

“Oh no,” he hastened to say, “I’m certainly not laughing at your name which I think is delightful, but it’s that I met another Clarissa last night who was about as different from you as you can possibly get. She weighed three hundred kilos and enjoyed rolling in mud.”

“Three hundred kilos!” She wrinkled her nose in a rather appealing way. “Rolling in mud… Oh, you’re talking about those pigs at Carver Hall, aren’t you? Are you looking after those?”

“Not intentionally,” he said, “but it’s a long story. Tell me, where were you off to, so early in the morning?”

She told him she was a solicitor giving legal aid to asylum seekers at a nearby immigration detention centre. A number of women had just arrived who’d been taken into custody by the police after being discovered in a raid on sex traffickers.

Gavin was full of admiration for her role and they talked about the trials and tribulations over the whole meal. It was as the meal was coming to an end that he had a sudden thought. “Do you give advice to people other than asylum seekers?”

She looked cautious, well used to being tapped for information about all kinds of legal issues. “Is it an immigration issue?”

“No, but you could say it was about false imprisonment.”

She considered his reply and then said, “OK, you’ve wetted my appetite. Why not come back to my room and we can discuss it over a coffee.”

Discussion over coffee, Gavin muted, was unfortunately the only thing they would be doing.


Once they were in Clarissa’s room and she had made some coffees with the primitive arrangements essential to most hotel rooms, Gavin briefly, but accurately, told his tale of events on meeting Greta, both the previous week and more recently, leaving out the unnecessary sexual details. Clarissa carefully listened without making any comments until the end, when she said, “Essentially, I assume you want advice on two things: first, is Greta’s action illegal; secondly, if not illegal, is there any redress you can take in law to regain control of your cock.”

“I guess so,” Gavin said. “I just really don’t know where to go from here. She’s OK as a person but I’m certainly not sexually attracted to her. So what do you think?”

“Firstly, she may not be the classic idea of a beautiful woman as portrayed by the media but you are certainly sexually attracted to her. If you were not, then none of this would have happened. Secondly, is it legal? I think on that first occasion you saying words which could be mistaken for ‘I love you’ meant that she reasonably felt she was in a relationship with you. And once she’d opened the munt, yesterday, you should have said, ‘I don’t want to continue in a relationship. I’m leaving,’ rather than telling her, over and over, that you loved her.”

“But there was this electric shock thing. I couldn’t leave like you’re suggesting.”

“But you didn’t know that at that time. In fact, you repeatedly told Greta that you loved her in order to have sex with her. So what she’s done is certainly not illegal so far. As for whether you could take out an injunction to force her to remove it, it’s more difficult. We have to consider Lord Carver.”

“What about him?”

“He is an extremely wealthy man. She will tell him that you have lied to her, his innocent daughter, in order to abuse her. He can afford the very best of barristers who know how to use every trick in the book. Eventually, this case could be brought to court, but it could take months, if not years, and it would cost you, plenty.”


“So, my advice is to keep well away from legal redress. You have two choices: one is to tell her you want to end the affair and hope she will treat you decently by unlocking you. Or you could behave like a normal, obnoxious guy: belch, fart, get drunk and watch football on TV. Simply wait until she gets fed up with you.”

She grinned at him. “Caught between the whale and the deep blue sea. I hope you don’t mind my curiosity, but could I see your munt. It sounds absolutely fascinating.”

Gavin was taken rather by surprise. He’d imagined that once Clarissa knew he was not sexually available, she’d lose interest. Instead, she wanted to see this horrible thing. Still, it wasn’t as if his genitals were on display. He stood up and slowly lowered his trousers and underpants.

“Wow! That is fascinating.” She reached out to brush the pubic hair covering the device, which was barely discernible from his own pubes. “You could never tell that you don’t have a vagina...” She slipped a finger along the crack. “…until, of course, you try to enter it. What’s it like wearing it?”

“Well, how do you think it is? I’m continually trying to get erect and it’s painfully prevented.”

“But it really is so lifelike. Compare it with mine, for example.” She stood up, undid a button on the waistband of her skirt, unzipped it and it fell to the ground, revealing she had a suspender belt and stockings, but no panties. She took his hand and put it on her vagina. “Feel the difference.”

He did.


It was as he was about to leave, several hours later, having given Clarissa considerable pleasure and received none for himself, that she added something to their previous conversation. “Of course, one of the options you might consider is to lay back and think of England, and accept whatever Greta wants you to do, which might include marriage.”

“My mother was talking about marriage, as well. I told her not to be ridiculous.”

“You’re an attractive and healthy looking male. She is the daughter of a very, very rich man, but on this point, you need to be careful.”

“I do.”

“Hmm. The point is that whatever wealth Greta might have inherited a week ago, will now be invalidated by his marriage. Unless a new will is made, his new wife – your cousin – will inherit the lot.”

“Surely,” Gavin said, “he’ll make some provision for Greta. He’ll make a new will.”

“Will he?”

“Of course.”

“You might like to reconsider that after you’ve met him.”

Clarissa would not be drawn any further and Gavin returned to his room, where the apparel for his dinner invitation awaited him.

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Wendy Jean's picture

Looks like he has a vagina. You have to wonder if he is going all the way?