A mother wants her son. She knows he is a girl. A father wants his son. He does not want the mother to brainwash him. You are the judge in this interactive story
This may not be the real way a court case works, but imagine it is. At the end there is a poll, where you can decide what you would do as the judge. You can leave comments why you have made your choice… good luck
DL: Lawyer for the Father
ML: Lawyer for the mother
D: The father
M: The Mother
A: The son
G: The Grandmother
T: His teacher
F: A friend
J: This is a custody case. Both the mother and Father, wants the custody over their son, who considers himself a girl. Aaron is 11 years old. The witnesses have been agreed upon. At the end there will be a closing statement from each lawyer.
I would like to start by asking the Mother to take the stand.
DL: When you were pregnant, did you want a son or daughter?
M: A daughter.
DL: Why is that?
M: Since I was small, I always wanted a daughter.
DL: And you got a son, Aaron. Did this disappoint you?
M: No. You obviously never gave birth, when you give birth to a baby; you are overjoyed at the fact that you gave birth. Then you see if the baby has 10 fingers and 10 toes and you love the child from the child’s first breath.
DL: Is this why you call your son angel?
M: Aaron looks like an angel.
DL: Do you consider him a boy or girl?
M: I consider Aaron a girl. She thinks like a girl, she acts like a girl; she likes girl’s clothes and toys.
DL: Could this be because deep inside you wanted a girl?
M: ………. I do not think so.
DL: Do not think so. Could it be because you bought a dolls house for Aaron’s first birthday and let the child wear dresses as an infant?
M: I wanted Aaron to have the toys that she wanted. Dressing in dresses was because it would help her move and be mobile.
DL: Surely you could use shorts or baggy trousers?
M: Yes. She had these as well.
DL: In fact up to now, you have bought dolls and other girl toys?
DL: Since he was a baby, you refused to cut his hair
M: Her hair was curly and beautiful. It would have been a shame to cut the hair.
DL: Or was it because you wanted him to look like a girl?
M: She looked the way she looked.
DL: I see. When you met others, did they think that he was a boy or girl?
M: They thought she was a cute girl.
DL: how did this make you feel?
M: I was proud that I had a pretty child.
DL: Last Halloween, did your child dress up as a fairy?
M: Yes. It was an agreement that Aaron had with her grandmother.
DL: But you let your son go out as a fairy?
M: Yes, Aaron was happy so why not?
DL: Once in a while, you let him dress in girl’s clothes. This means dresses, tights and blouses. Is this true?
DL: Do you tell Aaron’s father
M: We agreed it should be a secret, so his father would not get mad.
DL: Who suggested this?
M: I did
DL: Did you say to Aaron that you were looking forward to when he got a new boyfriend and in the future, got married?
M: Yes –
DL: No further Questions.
J: Has the mother’s lawyer anything to ask?
ML: Why did you say that you hoped Aaron would get a boyfriend?
M: Aaron was showing interest for other boys. I wanted her to know that I supported her and was her choice.
ML: You keep calling Aaron her, but he is a boy, is he not?
M: Aaron considers herself a girl; I respect that and will treat her the way she wants to
ML: But Aaron is too young, did you consider getting counseling?
M: She is very smart. It is not easy for someone in a boy’s body to say that there is a girl inside. I did not consider counseling, because I think Aaron knows what she is. She has seen a court appointed psychiatrist concerning this case.
ML: Could this be because of your support and influence when Aaron was younger?
M: If Aaron didn’t like it, then she would have said no.
ML: When you let Aaron dress as a girl at home, why do you keep it a secret from your husband?
M: Aaron has enough people that don’t understand how she feels. She does get teased by some children, and doesn’t need her own father to look down on her.
ML: Would you love Aaron any less if he or she thought he was a boy?
M: A mother’s love knows no limits. I would love Aaron and support my child in any way I can
ML: Why do you think that Aaron’s father should not get custody?
M: Aaron considers herself a girl. His father will try to force my child in being something she is not. Aaron needs to be supported and understood.
ML: No further Questions
J: has the Fathers Lawyer any follow up questions?
DL: Yes, your honour. I just want the court and myself to be certain of a few things. Has Aaron a vagina or a Penis.
M: That is a weird question. Aaron is a boy on the outside and a girl on the inside
DL: You say that he does not get counseling and that you know what’s best for him, and he knows what’s best. What qualifications do you have?
M: None. I am her mother
DL: He is in the back room now. He has boy’s clothes on. Is he wearing panties or boxers?
DL: Who decided this?
M: His father wanted her in boy’s clothes because of the media attention. I suggested that Aaron could wear panties.
DL: Have you considered putting Aaron on hormone treatment?
DL: Does his father know?
ML: No further Questions
J: Thank you. Now the Father will take the stand.
ML: Let me start by asking do you realize that many children are transgender, and it is a fight and struggle for them to be understood?
D: This Transgender talk is just being political correct. I think they are confused the way when they treated when they were small. It is their mother’s influence that confuses them. Then we as society say that we should accept it.
ML: Does your son consider himself a girl?
D: Yes, that is what he says.
ML: Then why can you not respect his wishes?
D: Aaron is only 11. He is not old enough to know who he really is. I only found out when I went through puberty. I think he is confused because he is a boy and his mother treats him as a girl.
ML: Did you not consider that Aaron’s mother knows who he is better than you and just respects that Aaron is transgender?
D: I am sure that she loves Aaron. But she has put him in girl’s clothes since he was a baby. She bought dolls and other sissy things, and refuses to cut his hair. She even wants him to do ballet. The fact is how much does she know him, or is she trying to manipulate him?
ML: You didn’t answer my question. Could she not respect that he is transgender and that you simply do not understand it
D: It is possible
ML: When Aaron wanted earrings and he asked you, what did you say?
D: No way. Only gays wear earrings.
ML: I know many boys that wear them. Do you?
D: That is up to their parents. I do not want my son wearing earrings or dresses or any sissy things.
ML: Would you disagree if he were gay?
D: He is too young to decide. If he were gay, I would explain to him that it is a sin and that he should look at girls.
ML: The fact is that he has shown interest in another boy. He told the boy he wanted to get married. Maybe he is gay.
D: He is too young to know. I talked with him that he should find a girlfriend
ML: is it true after you took this short talk, that you forced him to cut his hair?
D: Yes, so he does not look like a girl
ML: Does he look like a girl now with shorter hair?
D: Maybe a bit
ML: You tried making him play football. Did he like that?
D: No. Maybe it is because his mother indoctrinates him
ML: But he likes Ballet
D: Ballet is only for sissies. But he likes it
ML: Does he talk to you about private and personal things? How he feels? What he likes? What he dislikes?
D: No. Maybe I am too busy at work
ML: No Further questions
Judge: Has the Fathers lawyer any questions
DL: Thank you, your honour. Did you know that your son is secretly dressing as a girl while you are at work?
D: No. It’s not like I go through his wardrobes and see what he has
DL: Did you know he is wearing panties now?
DL: Do you think that your son likes being in girl’s clothes?
D: I think after 11 years of him wearing them, he does not know what is right or wrong. I hated wearing a tie as a teenager, but I need one for work. After a few years I did not notice I was wearing one,
DL: Do you think boys should have long hair?
D: No, especially it makes them look feminine.
DL: Tell me about one disagreement you had with your wife about your son.
D: One night I came home early. My wife and Aaron were sitting on the sofa. She was painting his toenails. When Aaron seen me, he ran out. Then we had a fight.
DL: Some would say what is the big deal about painting toenails for fun.
D: He was wearing a dress and she was painting them. Aaron is confused enough due to years of her manipulation and brainwashing.
DL: So you think it his mother is abusing Aaron
D: He is being manipulated and brainwashed that he is a girl. I consider this abuse.
DL: Have you considered that Aaron gets psychiatric counseling?
D: I do not believe in shrinks.
DL No further questions.
J: Has the Mothers Lawyer any follow up questions:
ML: What is Aaron’s bedroom colour?
ML: Who painted it?
D: I paid for a painter.
ML: What is Aaron’s favourite colour?
D: I do not know
ML: You Love your son?
D: Yes, that is why I am here
ML: Is he a sissy?
D: .Yes I suppose he is.
ML: Are you religious?
ML: Thank you
J: I would like to ask Aaron’s teacher to come to the stand.
DL: Does Aaron get teased in Class?
T: Yes, although it has become better
DL: Why does he get teased?
T: His clothes, the way he is. He is quite feminine.
DL: So others call him sissy?
T: Yes and rude names like gay and faggot. They ask him is it true that he considers himself a girl. They also ask how he can be a girl when he has a penis.
DL: So they think he is weird?
DL: Do you?
T: He is special I would say. I think he is trying to find himself. I think he is trying to figure out who he really is.
DL: Does he play boy activities?
DL: Does he play with boys?
T: No, then he does what any other girl does; he will flirt with the boys.
DL: He has kissed a boy. What was your reaction?
T: I talked with him that this could mean that he will be teased more. I told his parents, so they would know.
DL: Let me understand this right, because Aaron is very feminine, he has a tough time at school?
T: Yes. As I said he is teased. It is getting better, but he has a tough time
DL: Have you spoke to his mother and father about this?
T: Yes, his father seems very embarrassed and powerless, while his mother wants me to explain to other children that he could be a girl in a boy’s body. In other words, what she believes in. Both parents want me to do different things
DL: No further Questions.
J: Has the Mothers lawyer any questions?
ML: Does Aaron do well at school?
T: Yes, very well grade wise
ML: So Aaron is intelligent?
ML: Do you think he is more mature for his age?
ML: You say he is teased less, how is this?
T: In each class there is a hierarchy. Often the strange children or weak children are at the bottom. He was at the bottom, but now it seems that the girls have accepted him as a girl.
ML: Does he have any friends?
T: He plays mostly with the girls. He has a friend called Nick.
ML: So overall he is happy at school?
T: Children adopt very easily. He is as happy as he could be.
ML: Most divorce children are affected by the divorce. They can be angry or think it’s their fault. Has Aaron shown any of this?
T: Overall he has not been affected by the divorce. He does not show it. I think the only signs that he has is that he thinks it’s his fault.
ML: Where does Aaron live now?
T: His mother
ML: Do you think Aaron is a girl or is he just a sissy?
T: I am not that qualified to answer that. He thinks he is a girl, but why he thinks that is open to interpretation.
ML: No further Questions
J: I would ask that Aaron’s Grandmother take the stand now.
ML: To set things straight, are you the mother’s mother or father’s mother?
G: I am Aaron’s father’s mother.
ML: Did you dress your son as a girl when he was younger?
G: No, he did not want to
ML: Do you think that it is strange that Aaron wears girl’s clothes?
G: No, when my father was a child, he wore dresses until he started in school. This was common in those days.
ML: So what do you think that your son disagrees with him wearing dresses and acting like a girl?
F: I agree with my son. Aaron is 11 years old and should be out of dresses and other girl activities such as Ballet and act like a boy.
ML: Now, I am confused. You bought him a fairy uniform last Halloween
G: Halloween is when we can pretend to be something that we are not. When I bought him that costume, it was so he can pretend.
ML: Is it strange for a boy to wear a fairy costume?
G: Halloween is strange.
ML: It can be said that you supported Aaron in thinking he is a girl.
G: I just wanted him to be happy. His parents disagree with this, and I am stuck in the middle. For one day, I thought it would be nice that he can pretend to be something that he was not.
ML: Is Aaron very feminine
ML: Is he forced to be feminine?
ML: No further questions.
J: Does the Fathers lawyer have any questions?
DL: Is Aaron a boy?
DL: what do you think of the possibility that he has a gender identity crises, in other words he is a girl in a boy’s body?
G: Nonsense. Who put the girl in his body? It must be because of his mother’s wishes and influences.
DL: You have been with his mother when she has bought clothes, many of which were girl clothes. What do you think about this?
G: I thought it was strange buying a boy dresses and make up and things. It is Ok for playing games, but this was serious.
DL: Did you say this to his mother?
G: Yes, I said that half his clothes should not be girl clothes. It will only confuse him.
DL: What was his mother’s reaction?
G: She explained that Aaron considered himself a girl. She told me this again and again, the last time when we were buying make up. She said that he was a girl and the more people that thought that, the happier he would be.
DL: Did you believe this?
DL. One thing I don’t understand, why did you not tell Aaron’s father, and why did you not tell his mother you thought it was wrong.
G: Aaron is happy. I wanted to see my grandson. I was afraid with his mother’s influence that she would not allow me to see him again. So I tried in my own special way to do things.
DL: Is Aaron a girl in a boy’s body or what`
G: I think he is a sissy. I think his father is right, he has been brainwashed.
DL: No further questions
J: I would now like to ask Nick, Aaron’s friend to sit here. As he is a minor, I will ask him some questions. Hello. Nick. How old are you?
J: Aaron is your friend, is he not?
J: Does he have many friends?
F: Not boys. Boys are afraid to be his friend.
J: Why is that?
F: Because if he was a friend, they will think he fancies them.
J: They think that he is gay? It’s OK, you can tell me
F: Yes, because you know the way he is.
J: I actually didn’t meet Aaron yet. Can you tell me the way he is?
F: He is a bit weird. He likes playing girl games, and he likes wearing girl things. He likes playing with the girls. He hates boy things. He even looks like a girl, even after his hair was cut.
J: Do you think it was OK that his father cut his hair?
F: I like short hair, but I know Aaron was very sad.
J: You say that Aaron is your friend and the other boys do not like him, why is he your friend?
F: He is nice, and funny. We are all weird in our special way. I like being with him.
J: Do you consider him a girl or just a sissy?
F: He is a girl. I know that sounds strange, but when you have been with him, you will see this.
J: Is that why he kissed you?
F: That’s embarrassing to talk about. I am not gay
J: No one is saying you gay. But everyone at school knows that you kissed. Maybe you want to clear things up.
F: I kissed him, He didn’t kiss me. It’s because at first I thought he was a sissy. Now I think that God made a mistake and gave him the wrong body. He is really a girl.
J: That took courage to say. Thank you for speaking with me.
J: I would now like to Ask Aaron to the stand. I will also ask all the questions to Aaron. Aaron, I have heard a lot. I want to know, do you think you are a girl?
A: Yes. I just have a boy’s body
J: That must be hard for you. Having a boy’s body. Why do you think you have a boy’s body?
A: Something went wrong in Mums belly. I was born wrong. I don’t know. We have to ask God.
J: Do you think your mother treats you like a girl?
J: Do you like this?
A: Yes, we have lots of good times. I really love my mother
J: What if your mother said you were a boy, and no more girl things? Would that disappoint you?
A: I would cry and think she didn’t love me anymore
J: If you were born as a boy in a boy’s body, do you think your mother would love you just as much?
A: I don’t know, but maybe we wouldn’t have as much fun.
J: Do you love your Dad?
J: But he thinks you’re a boy
A: I know. But it’s hard for some people to understand
J: Have you tried explaining to him how you feel?
A: He lectures me. He tells me I am a boy. Every time I say but he said being a girl is a sissy. I should accept the way God made me. I can’t talk to him about it.
J: Did you like football?
A: No. It was too rough
J: Did you like when he cut your hair?
A: No. But now I will let it grow. I was very sad. I cried and cried, but dad said that it’s about time that I stopped being weird.
J: I hear you like girl clothes and toys
A: Yes. Then I feel happy when I have them on. I feel happy when I play with girl’s things.
J: Why not boys things?
A: They just don’t interest me.
J: Is that why you play mostly with girls?
A: I am shy around boys. Some of them are very cute, and I don’t know what to say to them.
J: It must be a problem for you when you take a shower
A: Yes. It’s so embarrassing because I stare at them. I know that we have the same body but we are not the same inside
J: Aaron, this is a hard question, could it simply be because you are gay and not a girl?
A: I am not gay. Some are gay, but they don’t feel like a girl.
J: It’s hard being teased because you think you are a girl?
A: Yes. I wish that I had a different body. But I would be sadder if I was a boy.
J: Thank you Aaron for your courage
J: I would like the psychiatrist that met with Aaron to take the stand. The mother’s lawyer may start asking any questions.
ML: What Is Transgender?
P: Everyone has a gender identity. Gender identity is our internal sense of being male or female. Sometimes, people’s gender identity does not match their body. So a transgender person may have a male body, but feel inside that they are female. Or a transgender person may have a female body, but feel inside that they are truly male.
ML: Can a Child Be Transgender?
P: Children and adolescents can be transgender, just like adults. In fact, a small percentage of all children are transgender. Children understand gender differences from a very early age. And transgender children strongly identify with the other gender, often from age two or three. Because we don’t talk about transgender people with children, adolescents or even adults, children who are transgender lack basic information about who they are, and struggle with feeling like they were born in the wrong body. And adults typically react as if there were something wrong with these children, as well.
In truth, there is nothing wrong with these children. But since very few people understand that it is natural for a small percentage of the population to be transgender, people don’t know that you can have male genitals and still be female or have female genitals and be male.
Transgender children who express their “real” gender identity can become extremely unhappy and depressed when adults try to prevent them being their true selves. Being transgender is not the cause of their distress. Instead, not being understood and feeling like there is something wrong with them causes them to suffer. And pressure to change their core sense of who they are causes emotional suffering, as well.
ML: What Makes a Child Transgender?
P: Many parents are concerned that something they did made their child become transgender. This is not true. Nothing that a parent or anyone else does can change a child’s gender identity. Being transgender is not caused by divorce, neglect, wishing you had given birth to the other sex, using fertility drugs to conceive, encouraging your child to play sports too often or not enough, or other parental thoughts, behaviors or experiences. We don’t know exactly why some people are transgender. But science is showing that transgender children are most likely born that way, right from the start. Even before children can verbalize their sense of gender, they start to tell us who they are through their play and choices for clothing, hairstyles, and toys. Once they are old enough to talk, transgender children strongly insist that they are “really” a boy, or “really” a girl.
ML: You have spoken with Aaron. Do you consider him Transgender?
P: Aaron definitely considers himself trapped in a boy’s body. This would mean that he is transgender. It would be easier for him to be normal in social eyes. It would mean that he would not be teased or in the middle in a conflict with his mother or his father.
ML: Do you think that his father’s refusal to support him can have an effect?
P: Transgender children that are not supported by their parents five times more likely to report symptoms of depression, nearly four times as likely to attempt suicide and to use illegal drugs, and twice as likely to be at high risk for HIV than with transgenders that have support. The fact that his father does not support him will have an effect, but he gets some support by his mother and a few friends.
ML: No further questions
J: The father’s lawyer can ask some questions
DL: Are you telling us that the fact that his mother constantly treats him like a girl and bought him girl clothes has not made him Transgender
P: That is what I am saying. The fact that she supports it and encourages it means he does not have to hide it and can explore who he is and what he likes.
DL: So when his father tried to get him to play football and do other boy things, is this right?
P: His father is doing what society expects him to do. To show him the so-called appropriate activities and behaviour for a boy. This is OK, once the father can respect if Aaron does not like this.
DL: I have noticed that you say he. Should you not say she?
P: This is so it is easier for everyone to understand. If I were speaking with Aaron, I would speak to him as a girl
DL: No further questions
J: The Mothers lawyer can give her final statement
ML: We have heard Aaron say it himself. She (Aaron) considers herself a girl in a boy’s body. I can see that this shocks many people. I can see why she is called names. It is hard to understand someone who is transgender. But we have one responsibility, even though we cannot understand it, we have to respect it. Aaron said herself, that she is a girl.
Her father thinks that her mother has brainwashed her and manipulated her. We have heard from a psychiatrist that even if this is true, it could not influence Aaron’s gender identity. If she really, really did not consider herself a girl, she would have said no to his mother a long time ago.
It is hard being Aaron. She feels like she is trapped in the wrong body. It has taken her a bit of time being accepted in school. She is lucky. She has her mother’s support. Aaron has Nick as a friend and some at school accept her for what she really is. A girl.
The question is who should have custody of her. Her father or her mother. While her mother supports her, what has her father done? He has tried to force Aaron to be something she is not. He will not listen to his son. He wants her to play football. When his father cut her hair, he cut a bit of Aaron’s identity. I will not go so far to say that Aaron’s father is abusing her; I think that Aaron’s father wants what is best for his child. But is Aaron’s father support the one needed. Will Aaron end up as five times more likely to report symptoms of depression, nearly four times as likely to attempt suicide and to use illegal drugs, and twice as likely to be at high risk for HIV?
I ask you to give custody to Aaron’s mother.
J: The Fathers lawyer may have his final words
DL: When I was a child, I thought I was superman. I wanted to be Superman so much. But over time, I have learned that I was not superman, I was the way God created me. We see people that believe that they are something else that they not are locked up in padded cells. We say they have personality identification problems. People that believe they are Superman, Madonna, Elvis and other people are considered sick.
We live in a day when things have to be politically correct. The Psychiatrist was a perfect example of this. Being gay or transgender and even a psycho is part of our genes, and something we are born with. I do not buy that, do you? I keep thinking about the people that think they are Madonna. We all know this is not right. What is the difference?
The question is whom should Aaron live with in this special case. Who will give him the best support?
I believe it is his father. I consider the mother has the same personality as a stage mom. You know the mothers who did not achieve fame and try to force their ambitions on their children. Through constant access to girl’s clothes, toys and environment, it is no wonder that Aaron considers himself a girl. His father calls it manipulation and brainwashing. Is this far from the truth, or am I now politically correct?
The father has shown his love for Aaron. He has tried to teach him what society expects of him, and this is a parent’s duty. If Aaron realized the fact of who he really is, not what he dreams or his mother dreams, then he would not be teased. He will not be an outcast in society. The fact that his mother keeps so many secrets says something in itself. If she thought it was not really wrong, then why keep secrets?
The other side has accused Aaron’s father for being religious. As far as I know this is not a crime. Even though religious beliefs are not political correct in today’s society. Aaron’s father believes that God has created us the way we are, we should be thankful for who we are. Because we have urges to be transgender, gay or even a murderer, does not mean is right.
I believe that only Aaron’s father can give him the security and identity he will need to be part of our society. A cruel society, not a dream world. You know whom you have to give custody to.
J: That’s the case. Now, you have to vote for whom you will give custody to. You can leave comments here or in the poll or writing me an e-mail.
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