Lilith's Despair Chapter 1

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High in the tower of the newly created wizard city, Lilith sat in front of her hearth. No longer did her eyes shine with happiness and excitement. Her mood had soured since she withdrew from the world for a second time. She watched as the flames of the hearth consumed the wood, much like the world outside the city. Humans had reacted violently to the news of wizards and the verification of the existence of angels and demons. Lilith felt lost and without a direction to follow.

Lilith couldn't help but feel that maybe she was rash when it came to withdrawing from the world. There was still the ever-present reminder to the world that she was still there, and they were still watching and debating her existence. The news reporters had parked their vans outside of the city barrier in hopes that they might catch something to talk about. The only thing they ever got was the wizards going about their daily routines as they set up shops in the city and created a life for themselves.

This life was not the same as they had before they took refuge within the barrier. It offered them new freedoms, especially the freedom to use magic openly without fear of persecution. The council had been adamant that they were no longer going to hide their magic or live in fear of persecution.

Lilith felt like a failure for causing so much upheaval and chaos in the world, her intentions were not ones of violence or harm. She wanted to simply show the world how beautiful love and acceptance should be. The world leaders were not willing to accept that they are no longer the supreme powers of the world. They saw her as a threat to their authority and made sure to demonize her and her family at every opportunity.

Sara and Charlene were not even able to bring joy back into Lilith's life. There was something they could not bring to fill the hole in her heart. She continued to love them, but it was not the same passion she had for them in the beginning of the city experiment. There were many days when she would just sit and look out into the world through the window for hours. She wouldn't talk much and was very much in her own world.

Sara often suggested they go out and travel together, to see the world and explore its beauty. Lilith always squashed those thoughts and continued to wallow in her own despair. Sara and Charlene did everything they could to be there for her, only to be dismissed and rejected again and again. I was like the light that filled Lilith's heart went out after she isolated herself from the world again.

Charlene knew that she had to be there for Lilith, and she would never leave her side. Sara felt depression as well in her life. She worked to finish school so that she could then spend her days with Lilith and Charlene.

Sara was getting a little tired of the situation, so she decided to do something about it. "Lilith, we are going for a walk in your garden," Lilith looked confused by the level of authority was in Sara's voice.

"Not today, Sara," Lilith replied.

"I wasn't asking you Lilith. We are going to get out of this apartment and go walk in the garden. You have been wallowing in your own self-pity for long enough. I want you to get up and take us on a walk in the garden," Sara demanded. Charlene was surprised at Sara's tone but supported her idea of getting Lilith out of the apartment.

Lilith sighed and got up off her chair. Her enthusiasm was gone but she didn't want to argue with Sara and Charlene. She knew they were trying to help her, but she just didn't feel like she had a purpose in life anymore. Her children were missing, and she caused more harm to the world than she helped bring it towards peace.

Once they got down to the garden, Sara and Charlene grabbed each of Lilith's arms as they led her through the garden. The flowers were not helping to ease her pain, it only made her feel worse because she felt she was even farther from being able to get back to Eden.

They walked through the garden quietly just trying to get Lilith to feel something. They reached a small pond and decided to walk around it. It was still too cold there in the mountains to put their feet in the water. Spring was starting to come, the buds on the trees were still waiting to bloom. As they walked along the rim of the pond. Lilith noticed a small stone statue. It called her to come closer and touch it.

A bright light flooded Lilith's vision and she felt like she was floating out of her body. She struggled to see anything, but she did notice that she was not with Sara and Charlene anymore. This caused her to panic and feel like everything she ever had was ripped from her again. She screamed out for her loves only to get no response.

The light began to form colors and shapes, Lilith could make out a person sitting on a rock next to a river. As she got closer, she could make out more details and realized it was a woman sitting there playing around in the water with a reed. She hummed a beautiful turn that soothed Lilith's pain. The ground finally touched Lilith's feet, but she still did not know where she was or who the woman who the woman was that sat in front of her.

The woman turned to look at Lilith and frowned at her. Lilith recognized her at that moment, and she fell to her knees and kowtowed to her mother. "Mother I am sorry that I failed to positively influence the humans." Lilith asked for forgiveness with great sorrow in her voice.

"Lilith get up and sit here next to me, tell me what troubles you." Mother said with a slight chuckle in her voice. Lilith was slow to move, not wanting to disrespect her mother in any way. She didn't feel like she deserved to sit next to her, but she finally moved to the rock and sat down.

"Tell me child, why do you feel so sad?" Mother asked in a soft, soothing voice.

"Mother, I failed to bring the humans closer to the path back to Eden, if anything I feel I have driven them farther away from you. I feel like humans will never find their way back to Eden. I truly miss Eden, and I wish to go back." Lilith said with a sad tone.

"Why would you want to go back to Eden?" Mother asked sounding confused.

"Mother, I miss the peace I felt there, and I wish for my family to enjoy that safety and security that I felt when I was there." Lilith said pleadingly.

The Goddess gave Lilith a look of confusion and then responded, "your family cannot enter Eden."

That comment was like a shot to Lilith's heart. She did not understand why she could not take her family back with her. Tears started to flow from her eyes as she felt the last of her hope break into a million pieces.

"Eden is a place for humans, demons cannot enter. Besides I have seen how much you care for Shar'li why would you want to leave her?" Mother asked.

"But you said I could not enter till humans were ready? Why would you make me choose between my family and my home?" Lilith asked sobbing in pain.

"Lilith, my child, I said that to you so you would go out into the world and find true happiness. You were never happy in Eden, you felt safe and content, but you were never truly happy. I also sent you into the world with a piece of the garden to be with you always. You have made that gift flourish; Eden is always near you. You always build a piece of it wherever you go. I have never seen you as happy as when you are with your family," Mother said to me.

Lilith was in a state of shock. The dream she held for so long is something that could never happen. Eden was her paradise. It was always her home in her heart, she thought that she would be able to bring her family with her to enjoy the paradise that she was born in.

"Lilith look at me, you know you did not fail to bring the humans to Eden. It was always going to cause major conflict to try to change them. Of all the humans that have ever lived you are the only one that has sought happiness in the proper places. Once you found your true love you gave her your everything just as she did for you. You turned a demon queen into someone that was not a threat to humans."

"You have much left to do, your children are not yet safe. You may find that you will not be able to save them all. This will be the hardest test of your will and love. Your family is larger than you can even imagine. Yet they will bring you much pain and tears. You must prepare yourself for the battles ahead. You must not fret over what humans have decided to become, your happiness should not be determined by the actions of the humans."

Mother kissed Lilith's forehead and smiled at her, "return to your lovers so that they may take care of you and bring you happiness again." With that Lilith floated away from the Goddess and back down to the world of man.

Lilith awoke on the ground with Sara and Charlene leaning over her trying to wake her up. When Lilith started to stir, both had tears in their eyes as they worried that something bad had happened to Lilith. Lilith looked into their eyes and pulled each of them into a hug. She felt sorry for the pain she has caused the women she loved the most.

When they got to their feet, Lilith looked at the statue on the ground. She bent down to grab it again, only for it to crumble into dust at her touch.

"You must tell us what happened," Charlene pleaded with Lilith.

"Yes, we were so worried when you collapsed and were unresponsive," Sara agreed.

"Mother wanted to have a talk with me, so she brought me to her. She broke some hard news to me but also gave me a purpose again. We will find our children Charlene; I was given some interesting and distressing news about our family. But first I must thank you both for staying with me and helping me through this, I know that I haven't been myself lately and I am so sorry for failing to let you help me. I love you both so much." Lilith said as she hugged both again.

Lilith turned to Charlene and grabbed her hands, "my love, you have made happy for so very many years. I was told that I would never be able to return to Eden because if I did, I would not be able to bring my family with me. I am not going to leave my family again. We will make this world our Eden."

"Lilith what did Mother tell you?" Charlene asked, saddened by Lilith giving up on her dream.

"She told me that Eden is for humans only. She also told me that she let me take a piece of Eden with me, so that will be enough for me. Our family is more important than Eden. Our family is my happiness." Lilith told Charlene before she brought her in for a kiss.

"Sara you are my family also, and I will always love you too." Lilith turned to Sara and gave her a kiss as well.

"We need to find our children because Mother made it seem like we will not be able to save them all. I don't know what she meant by that," Lilith told Charlene.

Sara asked, "what are you going to do about humans?"

"Nothing at all. I just won't hide from the world anymore," Lilith answered.

"What about their violence against wizards?" Sara asked.

Lilith turned and grabbed Sara's hands and said to her, "my love that is the council’s job now. If they would like my help, I will gladly help them, but I am no longer going to be the face of the wizards."

Lilith still had a lot of work to do to improve her emotions but now she was happy to have a purpose again.

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