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In Reiner’s mind, it all suddenly made sense: The quirkiness Joey had always had in his moves, his behavior, all of it! And yet, nothing physically changed about the person. All Joey had done was release his hair, and then, this new person appeared! — this person hiding in the guise of his teammate Joey! |
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| Rikkie/Enrique Lopez | Lana/Joey Martinez |
With the yard done, Joey went upstairs and proceeded to luxuriate in the bathtub. The hot lilac scented bath water from his mother’s bath oil beads and the soapiness of the bubble bath mixture he had bought, created a soothing relaxed sensation that overwhelmed his senses. Lana smiled and closed her eyes as she began to daydream about her situation.
School: What to do about basketball? Should I quit or not? How to hide dropping out from it from Mama and Dad? Lana knew her father lived through her vicariously in the form of Joey. Roberto Martinez was never the athlete that she, as Joey, had become. Because her father had gotten his girlfriend Julia, Joey’s mother, pregnant at such an early age, he had to work constantly to provide the house and living standards for his family. Hence, he never gotten to play any ball in high school, which he had yearned to. That was why he pushed her so hard to excel in sports.
Haircut: Oh gosh! That’s a tough one! I am definitely NOT getting it cut shorter than it currently is! But how to hide this from her father? “Beto” as was an old school father that controlled everything that Julia would allow him to anyways. What cut would be suitable for herself and also pass her Father’s scrutiny? Lana finally reached the conclusion that whatever she was going to do, she would have to get her Mother’s approval. That would be the key to winning over her Father.
Lana grimaced and sighed as she adjusted herself to sink lower into the water, bringing it up to her chin. “Mama is the key,” she softly spoke.
There is also the meeting tomorrow with Mrs. Lopez, Nina, and Rikkie. They were going to discuss with her how they were helping Enrique become Rikkie in order to educate Lana about herself and the path ahead. That was a big problem! Lana knew she had to do something similar, or at least plan for it, so that she could stay as Lana forever. Coming from a traditional Mexican family she knew that this was going to take some sort of divine intervention!
Lana smiled as she readjusted herself to sit up in the tub more. She ran her hands along her arms under the water as she enjoyed the thought of being, physically, the girl she knew she was.
Being beautiful, wanted…
While Joey was ok, Lana — she just felt more alive, more in touch with herself, her feelings… a lot of it was just indescribably delicious! However, the most convincing argument to herself, that made further resistance to the idea of becoming Lana pointless, was that throughout her life as Joey, he had felt wrong within his own skin. It was a feeling he could not put his finger on, not knowing exactly why he felt that way, or even why he didn’t feel all that comfortable around other boys. He just knew that he wasn’t right and was trying to keep up an image of being a boy around others, in school and in front of his family. He didn’t want to disappoint either his Mother or his Father and he wanted them to be proud of him - especially his Father!
Having spent most of the summer living as Lana, it became painfully clear that Lana was never going to go away. The boy facade was slowly crumbling away from her. She was having difficulty trying to reconcile the difference between the life she had lived as Joey and the person that she wanted to become as Lana.
Her urges, her desires, the direction she wanted her life to go in…
She lifted one of her smooth and hairless legs out of the bath water and opened her eyes to admire how it looked. She then ran her hands slowly up and down her toned calf and let it finally rest on her upper thigh as she pulled her other leg up beside it. Her legs were so beautifully feminine.
Her family however, couldn’t understand… they wouldn’t…
Lana grimaced and then closed her eyes to allow herself to sink back down into the water.
Lana’s thoughts drifted to boys. Blecch! It’s why I’m a loner. I’m a boy, well… sort of. The pressure I’m under when I’m around them just ties my stomach into knots! I have to keep pretending to be something I know I’m not! Being in the locker room with all those boys was very worrisome for Lana. She didn’t mind as much when she had been Joey. Of course then, she had been teased about how her body frame looked, but otherwise, the look she had maintained for herself as Joey and her reputation in basketball pretty much kept her kept her reasonably safe from major bullying or harassment. And the sight of naked boys… EWWWWWW! She showered and changed before class, or after most of them had left, trying to maintain some sort of privacy. She knew she had never liked boys much anyways, but she wondered about how she would feel about them as she developed more physically into a girl - about seeing them naked!
Would I become interested in them instead of girls like I do now?
I don’t feel pressured when I’m around girls. Yet I like being around them because I don’t have to pretend to be what I have to around the boys. I can be me! It’s so much different from talking to boys. I know I was a loner, even with girls, up until last year. But when I was accepted into Nina’s group of friends, the other girls seemed to accept me as one of them as well. I’m hiding right in front of them, and still, they accepted me!
Being Lana just felt right!
A loud rapping on the bathroom door scared Lana awake and caused her to splash the water as she gripped the sides of the tub.
“Joey? You didn’t fall asleep in there did you?” came his mother Julia’s voice.
Lana wiped the bubbles from her eyes and wearily responded, “Yes Mama. I’m almost done.”
Lana quickly rinsed off and drained the tub. She had to rinse away all traces of the bubble bath from the tub. Boys did not take bubble baths in the Martinez household!
Lana then dried herself off and several times patted her hair down and framed her face with the semi wet hair while looking at herself in the bathroom wall mirror.
A girl!
She pulled her hair back flat so that she appeared to have very little hair at all. Still, Lana saw a girl staring back at her in the mirror! That’s weird! Lana thought. I haven’t done anything and yet I see a girl when I see me. I’m not imagining it. Even with my hair pulled back flat I still see a girl! Has anyone else noticed this?
Probably.
She was quite certain her sister Leigh had. She must have! Leigh! Leigh was two years younger than Joey and had always been close to him. Until the start of this summer, before Nina had come along, the two of them had always played basketball together. Leigh must have known that she, as Joey, had played like a girl!
Lana remembered all the teasing she had endured for years and it came back fresh in snippets. She had gotten the occasional shove or trip from other boys and was called a sissy, because Joey hadn’t developed the way other boys did. He had remained his 5’ 5” self and did not develop hair growth like other boys had on the face, neck and the other parts of their bodies. Even their voices were deeper than his - it had never changed! Maybe those boys saw Lana in me even before I did?
Wow!
Lana turned back and forth in front of the mirror, scrutinizing her physique. While not as girlish in curves as most of the girls she saw in school, her own body, while wiry and lithe, did not seem too far from it. Her rib cage sat higher up on her spine, leaving a noticeable stomach that drew in, producing an hourglass shape somewhat like other girls. The only thing that kept her waist from pulling in more to complete that figure was her taut stomach muscles - a product of her exercising and basketball practice. She also knew that her ability to twist around more easily and bend was the one advantage that she had over others in basketball! She was quick, light and that allowed her to jump higher and run faster than others.
Her neck was also longer than a few years ago and not as thick as other boys. It seemed rather graceful and more delicate, more like a girl’s. Her face was also very delicate too — not rugged as a boy’s should be. Her skin was also softer than she remembered it being than the way it was a few years ago. She knew she had changed some and had been ignoring it. Rikkie had seen her and thought nothing of it. Nina saw it in her and that was why she introduced to her brother/sister.
Outside of those two, no one really noticed, either. Not even her! Until now…
Joey had dried off and had dressed in jeans and a tank top. As he opened the bathroom door, Leigh was standing there in her gown, smiling.
“Hey bro! About time you finished!”
Joey started to blush a little. Leigh then bent closer to him and sniffed a little. Her look was rather surprised.
“That smells like Mama’s bath oil beads! Have you taken a liking to them?”
Joey frantically hissed a ssssh! “Yes I tried it out, but don’t tell Mama and especially not Dad!”
Leigh looked him up and down. “Well, if you are going to use them, may I suggest we buy you some bath beads of your own? If Mama notices hers missing, she will ask.”
“Well, that was something I was trying to decide if I liked or not.”
Leigh smiled. “Well?”
“Huh?” Joey questioned.
“Duh. Do you like bath oil in your bath?”
Joey gave her a wry smile as he passed her on his way to his room.
“You do!” Leigh giggled and went in for her bath.
Joey was sitting down, working on his homework when he felt some fingers on his shoulders.
“What’s up?” came a familiar giggling voice.
“Hey Sis. Doing my physics homework.”
Leigh sat down on the edge of Joey’s bed beside him and continued to watch him as he resumed working on the problems. She was back in her nightgown and her hair was wrapped in a towel.
“Joey, I heard Mama mention she was taking you to get your hair cut tomorrow?”
Joey paused. “Yeah. I kinda have to. Dad finally noticed my hair.”
Leigh sort of admired her brother’s hair. It was a little below the shoulders, and sort of thick and lustrous with the way he had been maintaining it. It was as good as hers. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair. Joey leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.
“I don’t want to cut it. But I have to.”
Leigh pondered at that. “Have you thought of a way around it?”
“Mmmm. Sort of. Well, Enrique did. He suggested that I go to the hair salon across from the Barber Shop at the shopping center.”
Leigh grinned. “Really? You are going to go into a salon for women and get it cut?”
Joey turned his head to the left facing Leigh and replied, “Trimmed and styled.”
“Serious?”
“You bet. I may have to reduce its length some, but I’ll do a popular style that fits me that I have seen a lot of others wearing. I just hope Dad doesn’t come down on me hard over it. I really like my hair long.”
Leigh bit her lip. “Well you do look cute in long hair.”
Joey reached back to tickle her leg. Leigh squirmed out of his reach.
“Anyways,” she continued, ”Can you help me with my homework some when you are done? I need help with math. It’s only 6 problems that I’m stuck on.”
“Sure thing Sis!”
Leigh leaned over and hugged him from behind. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re the bestest Brother in the entire world?”
Joey grinned and held her arms against his chest. “I think so.”
“Good!” she kissed him quickly on the top of his head. “This Saturday I’ll be free in the morning and afternoon. We can spar with the ball some too if you want to? That is if you have nothing planned with Nina?”
“I think that would great. Nah. Nina and I, well, we’re not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend anymore.”
That caught Leigh’s attention. “What? Tell me what happened.”
“You have to promise not tell anyone, not even Mama or Dad?”
Leigh put her hand over her heart. “Joey, not a peep!”
Joey knew that he could trust her. She had always kept her word to him. After a moment of thinking, he replied, “Well, it’s just that Nina and I see things different from each other and we just don’t really mesh together. I think it is more or less my fault because I don’t really think she is my type. But we are still friends.”
What he had just said was not a lie, but he couldn't exactly elaborate on it either.
He looked back down at his desk. “But her brother Enrique is really cool. I’m just sort of hanging around him until I have better luck with finding another girl. If one could just… well…”
“One will come along Joey. There are plenty of girls around. I’m sure you will find one that likes you.”
Lana mentally pictured Rikkie in her arms hugging her to her bosom. “Yeahhhh, possibly.” The powerful emotions that Lana felt for Rikkie suddenly flooded her mind as she visualized kissing Rikkie even more and feeling her tongue caress Rikkie’s exquisitely smooth and gentle skin. Rikkie’s perfume lingered in the air as she…
Joey snapped back to reality staring at his homework. He turned around to see that Leigh was no longer in his room and that the door was shut.
Joey had gotten around to finishing his homework much later than normal, in part because he had gone to help Leigh with her homework first and was now failing to concentrate fully on his.
Lana nervously tapped her nails on the desk. She looked down at her hand and stopped. She realized right then that she would still have to hide, possibly all the way until she reached 18. She knew that her father, while loving his son, would beat her senseless if he found out his son was a sissy! He would not accept knowing, that instead of a son, he in all actuality had another daughter. He would not accept that at all! He was a devout Catholic, and she knew the teachings of the church that they attended. She heard the words from their Priest about those who are different — that they are sinners in God’s eye! Her father followed that scripture and subscribed to those beliefs. While she did not truly know how her Mother felt about it, she sensed that she might not react the same way. To expose herself while under her Father's roof would be a disaster!
Maybe Leigh could help? Could Leigh, who was “Daddy’s little girl,” possibly comfort her hurting brother and maybe accept and come to know her sister Lana?
Lana had been so intent of thought that she didn’t hear her Mother came into the room and sit down on the edge of his bed.
“Joey, come sit with me.”
Lana felt a twinge of fear shoot down her spine as she heard her Mother’s voice and stood up from her desk and went over to sit down beside her.
“Something about you has changed. I know you had been feeling down in the dumps for some time too. Is it because of Nina?”
Lana quickly thought about what she should say. She wanted so badly to tell her about Lana, not to mention Rikkie, but now wasn’t the time. She needed to know more about what to do before exposing herself finally. Also, in truth, Nina really was part of what had been going on.
Lana cleared her throat and offered, “We had a disagreement Mama. There are still some things we are working out.”
Julia smiled. “Well son, that’s all part of growing up and developing a relationship with others. I know you were depressed and slept a lot more in the last two weeks too. It hurts me to see you like that.”
She pulled Joey into a motherly hug. Lana closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of being held by her Mama.
“You are always my baby boy and I want you to know that you make your Father and me proud of you.”
She held Joey’s hand up above her lap noticing his nails and the softness of his hands.
“If something is bothering you, you can always come to me. Your Mama knows when you are troubled and she wants you to know that she is always open to listen to you. She might even be able to help.”
Lana felt shame and hurt within her at those words. “I know Mama. It’s just there are some things bothering me that I’m not ready to talk about yet until I find out more.”
Julia pulled her son’s chin up some so she could look into his eyes.
“I promise Mama. I will tell you when I know.”
She hugged her child again. “I love you.”
As Julia stood up, she noticed the barest hint of lacey blue underwear showing from the top of his jeans and wondered.
Joey’s next day at school did not go well.
Just before homeroom, Bobby Owens and his “gang,” Roger and Paul, walked up to him while he had his locker open, putting his things in. Bobby then jabbed his elbow into Joey’s side and kept walking on by. The three were laughing.
Lana felt the punch to her right side and the wind was knocked from her. She fought the pain emanating from the spot and waited a moment for the stars to clear from her vision. She paid no attention to her books and jacket on the floor and instead turned to see the backs of the laughing trio going down the hall.
Lana clenched her fists and started walking briskly down the hall after them.
“Did you see the wimp’s eyes as I hit him? Boo-hoo-hoo!” Bobby started laughing more.
Paul had an idea. “Maybe you should hit him more often and try get money from him!”
“You know… I might!”
Bobby suddenly lurched forward and slammed into the lockers to their left.
Joey passed right between them and was assaulting Bobby’s side with some blows. Bobby then scrambled up and shoved Joey up against the lockers and had both hands on Joey’s neck.
“You think you got balls now wimp? Hmmm?” Bobby said loudly as he squeezed Joey’s neck causing his face to turn a shade of red.
“I’m not going to take any more abuse from you Bobby,” Joey squeaked out,” I have had it!”
Bobby laughed and threw Joey to the floor. “I haven’t even begun yet wimp! You touch me again you’ll be in the hospital for a long long time!”
Lana felt her eyes begin to water as she saw other students looking on at her - having been humiliated in front of them. And she had done nothing wrong! Lana, deciding not to continue the fight, struggled to stand. She saw the trio continue walking down the hall turning back a few times to see if she would try and fight them again. Their laughter continued to echo in the hallway as the other students started to go back to getting to their rooms. She knew that the gossip of this was going to spread around school fast. Damn!
Lana went back to her locker and bent down to pick up her jacket when a hand grabbed hers causing her to pause.
“Allow me.”
A boy taller than her picked up her jacket and books and held them before her. Lana just realized who this was — Reiner König from her basketball team. He had dark brown hair and blue eyes and stood a good deal taller than her. She saw him loosely smiling at her.
“Ummm.” She held her head down as she wiped her eyes.
“Joey. It’s ok. I saw what they did and I’m going to take care of it.” Reiner spoke with his European accent.
Lana gratefully accepted his jacket and hung it up. “I can take care of myself hermano.”
Reiner handed her the books. “Look. We’re a team. We won’t score if you’re beaten up. Coach will be furious if we let that happen. We look out for each other.”
Lana paused staring at the locker.
“Tell you what, at lunch, come over to the fourth table on the left side of the cafeteria and sit with me.”
Lana looked at Reiner in confusion.
Reiner then chuckled. “It’s alright. I want to talk with you. I see you on the team and you play with fire. In the halls and outside school I see you depress. Tell me at lunch, please.”
She half-smiled and stared up at Reiner with reddened eyes.
“Don’t let this spoil your day. I don’t think any less of you because of this. No one can be expected to stand against three alone. And you are mein Freund.”
“Gracias Reiner. I appreciate it.” Lana played back with a little of her language on him.
Reiner patted Lana’s back gently and walked with her down the hall until she stopped at the door to her homeroom.
Reiner added, “You just watch your back until lunch and avoid them. I’ll take care of them after school or if I see them near you in between. I promise you.”
Amidst the chatter in the room behind her, she looked down at the floor and more softly replied, “Gracias.”
The rest of the morning went by with Joey enduring the stares of some of his classmates in each room as they smiled and some mention was made of Bobby’s name. Even the girls looked at him, smiling and turning away. Joey’s insides burned! He was angry! His vision was on the edge of tears!
Shame… Humiliation…
As the bell rang for lunch period, Joey stayed in his seat as the other students stood up and went to their lockers before heading to the cafeteria. He again thought of what he was getting into by becoming himself. It’s worth it! Every bit of it! To be me! I just wish… wish it didn’t have to hurt so much. Joey sighed and sullenly arose to leave the room. He pulled back the hair that was hanging in front of his face, that had slipped from the pull of his low ponytail, and tucked the strands back underneath the hair that was still being held by his hair tie. Joey wiped the water that had somehow gotten at the bottom of his eyelids. Sniffling, he walked out into the hallway and back to his locker.
Joey put his books back inside the locker and shut the door, check to make sure it was locked. Rikkie would be in the cafeteria, but he really didn’t feel like being next to the one he loved right now. He knew that he would melt into a ball of tears within Rikkie’s arms and suffer even more humiliation than he was receiving now. He would save the intimacy for later tonight. Right now, he needed to eat and think.
Joey was one of the last students through the cafeteria and grabbed his lunch of Salisbury steak, green beans, corn and a small salad with dressing. He quickly handed the cashier the money for his lunch and received his change.
“There you go dear.” the woman spoke, attempting to cheer Joey up with a smile. “I’m sure the rest of your day will go better sweety.”
Joey, his eyes weary, feigned a half hearted smile and replied, “Thank you. I certainly hope so.”
He looked out among the sea of students in the cafeteria and remembered Reiner said the fourth table. He looked to his right, which would have been the left coming into the cafeteria, but he could not see him. Joey started walking down the middle aisle, gazing more intently on spotting his teammate. Failing to spot him, he turned around and saw an empty table spot on the same side, closer to the service line.
He started to walk back over to the spot he had seen when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“Joey? Right here.”
Joey turned and saw Reiner smile. Reiner led his to the empty spot across from his tray at the table. Nervous, Joey sat and waited for Reiner to sit across from his. Reiner sat and started into another bite.
“Ok Freund. So what is with all of this depress I see you with?”
Joey, not sure what to say, looked at the boy and studied his face. He watched him chewing his bite and then Reiner looked back at him. Reiner’s eyes seemed to smile with a genuine warmth that was slowly pulling at his insides, lulling his to reveal his hidden turmoil.
“Ummm. It’s like this.” Joey paused.
Reiner patiently waited a couple of minutes as he took a few more bites.
“Damn!” Joey cursed. “Ok. Here it is. How do you feel about girls?’
Reiner chuckled. “Girls! They are great to be with! Date them. Marry them. Be with them. It’s all good.”
Joey tried again. “How about them doing things? Like say, maybe, the same positions in jobs and activities as men?”
“That would depend. If she wanted to and could… then why not?”
“Ok, Reiner. Can I trust you?”
Reiner stopped chewing and focused on Joey. “Yes. I can keep secrets. If I’m your Freund, I do.”
Joey stood up, having not touched a bite on his tray.
“Reiner, just come with me. Right now. I have to tell you something and I can’t here.”
“Can it wait until done eating?”
Joey shook his head. “No. We need to go to the gym right now while everyone is here. I promise it won’t take a few minutes. But we need to do it now before I lose the nerve. I need to tell someone.”
Reiner, sensing the urgency in Joey’s voice, set his silverware down and carried his tray with Joey to the service conveyer belt and set them on it to roll back to the dishwashers. Joey then walked at a fast pace out of the cafeteria onwards to the gym with Reiner following close behind.
Peering into school gymnasium and finding it empty, the two went across it quickly with Joey leading the way to the Boy’s Locker Room. Shutting the door behind them Joey asked, “Check down the locker rows fast Reiner. Please. Make sure no one is here.”
Reiner cautiously walked the breadth of the room looking down each row. Seeing no one he said, “All Clear.”
Joey then grabbed Reiner’s arm and led him to the last row of lockers where it made a turn, allowing some people to be there without being visible down the row directly. Joey went against the lockers and turned around to face Reiner.
“Promise me. What I show you, you keep a secret forever.”
Reiner showed a little hurt at the repeat of that request but firmly declared, “I Promise Joey. Although I do not see what this has to do with your de-… “
He did not get a chance to finish the statement as his eyes were glued to Joey and what was happening. Time seemed to slow down as Joey closed his eyes and reached back behind his head with both hands. A look of serenity pursed Joey’s mouth as his hands seemed to be doing something behind his hair. Then, in slow motion, Joey pulled his long black hair free of its confinement. Reiner watched the strands of hair come around from behind and cover the sides of Joey’s face. In a natural maneuver, Joey then ran his hands up through the hair to free it of clumping as he shook his head from side to side upwards and let it settle back down. He then opened his eyes and a whole new look about him appeared. Joey’s face seemed more sensual. His eyes were softer. His lips had a slight pout to them.
Reiner, let his jaw drop as his mind suddenly comprehended what had just unfolded in front of him. The person in front of him was no longer Joey. This person had a natural flair, subtleness, and grace that Joey did not have. The soft, inviting brown eyes blinked back at him as the face formed a questioning look.
A girl!
“Uh… Joey…”
“Reiner, this is what I am.” Joey stated.
In Reiner’s mind, it all suddenly made sense: The quirkiness Joey had always had in his moves, his behavior, all of it! And yet, nothing physically changed about the person. All Joey had done was release his hair, and then, this new person appeared! — this person hiding in the guise of his teammate Joey!
“Joey? You are a girl?”
Joey nodded, blushing. He then gripped the front of his baggy shirt and started lifting it up some past his belly button showing the cinch of his waist, drawing Reiner’s attention to the figure he possessed. Reiner remembered how odd Joey seemed shaped but the team uniform Joey wore was a size too large and slightly baggy.
Reiner grabbed both of his hands and pulled the shirt back down.
“No Joey. I don’t need to see. I know. This is — so wow.” Reiner sat down on the bench.
Joey sat down beside Reiner, clasping his hands upon his lap looking down at the floor. He was visibly shaking.
Reiner was only startled out of his daze by some sniffling and the slight crying coming from beside him. Joey had both hands up against his face hiding it. The sad, trembling girl beside Reiner caused his natural instincts to kick in. He leaned into Joey and put his arms around him — no… Her! Moving in tune with the girl’s shaking and sobbing, he allowed his warmth and presence to comfort her.
Lana felt the arms encircle her as she cried. She had just exposed herself and now, soon, everyone would know! Lana didn’t care anymore! She had to get this out to someone. It was eating her alive and she needed someone to confide in! Lana leaned into Reiner’s chest and rubbed her cheek against his shirt and let the tears keep falling. She felt safe in the grasp of this boy. Her vulnerability began to fade from her as she relished the feel of being held in Reiner's strong arms, whom she had really only known since this morning. It was quite intoxicating, and combined with her emotional release, allowed her to drift into a dreamlike state.
Reiner leaned his head on top of hers and gave her a couple of gentle squeezes with his arms letting her know that it was alright to let it all out. He inhaled her smell from her hair and found that she sure didn’t smell anything like a boy. She smelled just like any other girl he had been around. Reiner was just awestruck by this revelation. Sure, back in Dresden he had seen people like this, but none like this girl! - one who was so easily overlooked and seen as a boy.
Time seemed to have stopped for the both of them, and yet it felt like ages had passed. Reiner gently asked, “Do you have a name?”
She slightly nodded and whispered, “Lana.”
Reiner felt an intense sorrow for her. He knew the dangers that people like her had to go through, and hiding was routine for the most part. All that he really knew right now was that he felt an incredible urge to protect this poor girl, to keep her safe from harm.
In what seemed like hours later, Lana was able to pull away and sit up, still sniffling a bit and wiping her eyes yet again. Reiner looked at her in a whole new light.
“So what now?” he offered.
Lana looked down at her feet again briefly then looked up at him. “Nothing right now. You know I am not like other boys. I am trying to find out how I can stay like this or become a girl fully. I have been told I will change when puberty finally does hit me - become more like you. And that scares me, a lot!”
She breathed in deeply. “I don’t look much like a boy do I?”
“You do not. In fact, I am amaze I did not see before!” Reiner answered.
Lana glumly added, “Yeah. I have to get my hair cut after school too.”
Reiner opened his eyes wide. “Why?”
“My father. He loves me as his son, but he doesn’t know who I am, just as you didn’t. If he ever suspected though… he’d…”
Reiner gently intertwined his fingers in between Joey’s and squeezed his hand. “Don’t even think such thoughts. You have to stay hidden until you are 18 in this country. Then you can move and be you.”
Lana took her free hand and pulled her hair around to grab it all and pulled it down snug so it lay flat. Reiner looked at her. He still saw a girl, one whom looked a bit more butch, but a girl nonetheless.
“My father, he will know about my body if I get my hair cut like he wants. I’m going to go to a special hair place and have it trimmed and styled differently. Cut, but not as much. I’m just worried about how I’m going to be seen afterwards. I mean, really, the only look that kept me safe all this time was keeping my hair like this and baggy clothes.”
Reiner chuckled some causing Joey to look at him. “This explains all the problems you had this week in practice. I get it now. So besides protecting you, I will need to do one on one with you and help you get your focus on ball back.”
“You don’t have to you know… hermano.”
“I do!”Reiner stressed. “I want to. I’m not letting you get beat. And I want you to do good at whatever you want to do. This is about you!”
Lana gave Reiner the sad brown puppy eyes look. Reiner slowly put his fingers under her chin and lifted until her gaze to meet his eyes.
“Lana. You are a good person. I think many times wonderful. I want to help you. Will you let me?”
Lana slowly nodded.
Reiner glanced at his watch and exclaimed, “We need to move on now. Lunch is almost over. You go back to being a boy now. Tell you what, I will give you my tele number. You can call later.”
Lana pulled her hair back behind her and slid the hair cord to tie her hair back down into the low ponytail as Reiner pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper from his pocket and jotted down his number.
“Here is mein number Lana. I will talk to Greg and get him to help against Bobby. The two of us can handle them. Greg is mein Freund too. He will do it for me. But I will not mention about… this. Never!”
Lana stuck the slip of paper into her pocket and stood there facing Reiner.
They both eyed each other.
Then, without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. Reiner held her for a few magical moments more. He ran his hand slowly through her hair while holding her, feeling a pity and a deep caring for this girl that he had never felt towards anyone else before. He knew he would protect her. She needed it and… deserved it! He gently kissed the top of her hair and felt her relax against his chest contentedly. Soon, they had to separate and leave for their respective classes.
Joey was a bit slow during basketball practice, but with encouragement from Reiner, began to find ways to help compensate the lack of coordination he had been experiencing. Reiner watched as Joey leapt and bent during practice. Joey’s neck! He saw it was slightly longer and thinner than most boys as well. Sure enough! Now that he knew what to look for, he saw, indeed, that Joey’s skeleton was like a girl’s. Wow! Simply wow!
What was very difficult for Reiner was watching Joey and knowing, that in reality, he was a girl named Lana. She was doing a sport that boys mainly played and was actually doing better than most of them! A smile formed on Reiner’s lips as he tried to maintain his composure while playing. He was utterly fascinated and enthralled with knowing about her. His eyes were glued to her! He was watching her play and helping her do her routine with scoring hoops: faking out the offense, then, twisting and leaping up to slam dunk the ball!
The coach congratulated Joey on picking up again on performance and noticed some extra effort between Reiner working along with Joey on the court. That was the kind of teamwork he knew would win them games. He blew his whistle and called for them to take to the locker room and change. Practice was over for the period.
Joey turned to head for the locker room when Reiner grabbed his arm.
“Wait here for a minute. I’ll get Greg.”
Reiner jogged up to Greg and got him to come back over with him to Joey.
“Our Freund here has a problem. Bobby Owens and his two Arschlochs are hurting Joey during school. They slammed him to the floor this morning. I watched it.” Reiner explained.
Joey felt a flushness of embarrassment encase his body as he stood transfixed, looking at Reiner and then Greg.
“Is that so?” Greg asked looking over at Joey.
Joey nodded.
“Ok. Let’s have a little “talk” with them. Can’t have our Ace taken out can we?” Greg grinned. “Is Bobby out this period or next?”
Reiner shrugged. Joey spoke up. “I think he is out this period. He might even try to follow me home. I live seven blocks from here. Not sure if he knows where I live though.”
“Ok. Get changed. You two meet me here after changing. We are going to pay him a visit.”
Greg Sauls, the Captain of the El Camino Real High School Boys Basketball team, was a no-nonsense individual that planned things carefully and was a person not to be trifled with! He was exceptionally strong and worked out some with weights besides swimming.
All three went into the locker room and Greg and Reiner went to their lockers to change. Joey, nervous as always, went to his locker and pulled out a towel to wipe the sweat off. He then put the towel inside his gym bag and carried it out with him to wait for Reiner and Greg.
They showed up nine minutes later after a fast shower, their hair still damp.
“Not changing?” Greg directed to Joey.
“No. I’m… going to be doing some practice when I get home.”
Greg then motioned to the door. “Let’s go have our talk with “the problem.”
The three of them exited the Gym and went around to the front of the school and watched as kids began filing out to the buses and parking lot. After about ten minutes, when they didn’t spot their adversaries, they decided to give up looking for the day. Their hopes of finding him seemingly dashed.
Reiner then spoke to Joey. “Would you like a lift to your house?”
Joey rather shyly replied. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
Reiner’s eyes twinkled. “It’s not a problem. I want to.”
Greg turned to Reiner. “Rein. I’ll look for him in the morning and let you know. Joey which locker is yours?”
“1421. It’s beside Mrs. Reskills Government class.”
“Ok. I’ll wait around your locker and watch for him. If I don’t see him then, I’ll find him sometime tomorrow for sure. I’m going to look. See you later Rein. Joey.”
Greg high-fived Reiner and walked off to his car.
Reiner tapped Joey’s arm. “I’m over here.” Joey followed him over to a really nice cherry red convertible car. Reiner unlocked both doors and motioned for Joey to get in. While Joey admired the new looking vehicle with its spackling interior, Reiner put the top down and closed the door. The engine came to life with a nice powerful start! Joey looked over at Reiner.
“It’s a 1971Ford LTD. Mein Vater gave it to me.”
Lana smiled back at Reiner. She held her gym bag close to her in her lap. She was enjoying this experience with Reiner and he seemed rather glad to have offered it to her.
Reiner backed out of the space and started queuing up in the line of cars leaving the school.
Lana was feeling a degree of freedom she had felt only before with Rikkie. She really felt alive! Being in this car with this boy was simply fantastic! She felt very privileged and soaked in the view as she rode along with him. Lana pointed out the turn onto Curry Way and he slowed the convertible down to the posted speed in this residential area. She felt like she was actually on a date with Reiner! If this is what dating a boy is like, maybe it isn’t so bad after all? Shoot! Remember Rikkie! This is so confusing!
They arrived at her house on Sage Way and Reiner pulled over to the curb in front of her house and put the car in park. Lana looked at Reiner. The two of them stared at one another for a minute and smiles crept across both their faces.
“I-I…I can’t.” Lana shyly refused. “My Mama might be watching and doing that out in the open... well…”
Reiner nodded in agreement. “I won’t take advantage of you Lana. Ever. We just met today. When you think things through, maybe kissing would be appropriate. But it is best for you to think. I know you are confuse. I am ihr Freund first.”
Lana felt her heart tugged in a way that felt wonderful and bad at the same time. She wanted to lean over and kiss Reiner so badly! Yet the danger of it was too real. And she had to remain faithful to Rikkie!
Lana sighed and then opened the door and was stepping out onto the lawn when Reiner leaned over and grabbed her left hand. She glanced back at him to see what he was doing when he gave it slight squeeze. “See you tomorrow.”
Lana smiled and stared into those dreamy eyes of his. “Thank you… for everything!”
“Ich freue mich — mein pleasure!” He loosened his grip on her hand and let his grasp slide to her fingertips where he gave her a final squeeze.
Lana shut the door and watched as Reiner waved a goodbye and drove off.
“Joey?”
Joey heard his Mama call him from the front door. He turned around and trudged up the lawn towards her.
“Who was that? And why did you ride with him?”
“His name is Reiner,” Joey confessed. “He gave me a ride home after practice. He is German and a good friend. He’s on my basketball team.”
“I don’t like the idea of you riding with strangers. I would like for you to call me and let me know if it is an emergency. At least ask me before you do something like that.”
“Yes Mama. I am sorry.”
Julia couldn’t stay angry at her first born. She smiled and patted him on his shoulder. “Go on up and get ready for your haircut. Let’s try and leave in twenty minutes.”
“Ok.”
Leigh appeared in the doorway as he started up the stairs.
“Hey Big Bro!”
“Hey Leigh!”
She came up the stairs behind him. “Your haircut?”
“Yeah. “
Leigh wrapped her arms around him from behind as he reached the top of the stairs, gripping him in a sisterly hug. Joey smiled and patted her arm.
Leigh whispered into his ear, “You be careful Bro. I just hope you are doing the right thing.”
“Me too Sis.”
Leigh smiled and trounced off into her room. Joey felt like he was heading for his doom as he walked towards the bathroom for a quick shower.
Almost an hour later, Mrs. Martinez pulled into a parking spot in front of the Valley Heights Barber Shop. Joey got out and waited for his Mama.
“I’m going to go shopping at the Safeway for our groceries. It may be an hour. When you are done, come meet me inside.”
“Yes Mama.”
Julia handed him a $10 dollar bill. “Bring the change back when you're through.”
“Ok Mama.”
Joey paused at the door and turned to watch his Mama walk down the sidewalk to the store. When she went into the store, he built up his nerve, and then walked back out into the parking lot. True to Rikkie’s word, right there across from the Barber shop was the sign for Kelly’s Salon.
The store was an aged two story brick building with the bottom story paned with glass on two sides. The design of the store’s logo and the pictures of women’s heads on the glass panes obscured most of the activity occurring inside the salon. Joey reached the front door and peered inside.
There were several chairs and counters along both walls of the store room inside. Sinks were at every counter with various bottles and containers of things around each station. Two women were seated at chairs with stylists attending both women. Joey gulped. He reached for the door and pulled it open.
The bell tinkled and he stood inside.
He saw two couches along windows here by the door with a coffee table in front of them. Various women’s magazines were strewn atop it. Joey stood there and pulled his arms up to his stomach crossing them.
He took in the various odors of the salon, some pungent, others more like hair conditioners. He started having second thoughts about this whole thing.
“Have a seat. I’ll be right with you.”
The woman’s voice startled Joey and he noticed the woman it came from. She eyed him for a minute and went back to cleaning up a station across from the two women being worked on. Joey picked up a fashion magazine and began paging through it glancing at the various women and how they had their hair. A woman had long curly locks with a summer dress in one pose. Another woman had blond hair done something similar to the wife of that president that had been shot a few years ago. Who was that? Kennedy! Mrs. Kennedy. Yes.
Joey turned the page and continued looking at the various hair styles that women who had longer hair were wearing these days. He suddenly got the weird feeling he was being watched. Looking up, he saw the woman standing beside him with a nice smile.
“How may I help you today?”
Joey gulped. “Ummm. I wanted to see about maybe… umm… getting my hair done?”
She looked him over and then asked, “You’re sure you want us to do your hair? I don’t know of many boys that would come here, but if you are sure, I will do my best to make it how you would like.”
Joey blushed. “I was told to tell you that Enrique Lopez told me to see a lady named Carol?”
“Enrique? Hmm. Ok, let me go get Mrs. Preston.”
The woman vanished behind a curtain covering a doorway to the back. A few minutes later she returned with a younger woman with brunette hair. It was kept trimmed to her shoulder and curled under some. Her darker red lipstick contrasted well with her complexion. She came up to him.
“So you know Rikkie?”
“Yes Ma’m. I do. I’m his best friend. “
“Then come this way.” She led him over to a chair by a sink second from the front windows and opposite of the other women. She motioned for him to seat and she went over to the sink to wash her hands.
“So what sort of hair style did you have in mind?” She called from behind him.
Rikkie paused. He didn’t know the name of the style he had in mind.
“It’s more like this. It’s where the hair is down to just above the eyes and curls under towards the face and the hair just slopes down like this, “ he motioned with his hands along the side of his face, “Around towards the back all curled up and under.”
“Page style?”
“If that is the name. Yes Ma’m.”
“Ok, I need for you to remove your hair tie.” Joey chastised himself for forgetting that! He reached behind his head and slipped the little red tie string off, sticking it into his pocket, and then fluffing his hair out with his fingers. Carol watched this simple act with interest.
“Ok, now lay back here and I’ll start by a simple conditioning. It looks like you have already washed your hair.”
Joey nodded. He lay back in the chair and let his hair hang over the back. He felt the coolness of some gel like liquid in his hair. She then dabbed water into his hair to wet it and start massaging the conditioner into it.
“So why did you choose to come here instead of say the Barber shop across from us?”
Joey felt a twinge of shame. “Well… you see. My Father wanted me to get my hair cut. He is against boys having long hair. It’s just… I like long hair. But… it’s like I can’t go against him. So I have to get it cut. But he did not say how short or like what. So I think I have some room to get it done how I might like it and not be something my father would likely be too against.”
Carol smiled and started spraying the conditioner out.
Joey closed his eyes and felt the hands massaging his scalp. A towel then dabbed at his hair and was wrapped underneath it and pressed against the cushioned top of the chair. A few minutes later, with the towel removed, a chemical was sparingly sprayed into his hair and a comb followed to straighten it all out.
“How did you come to know Rikkie?”Carol enquired.
With his eyes still closed, Joey, in a lower voice, replied, “Well Ma’m, I guess I’m like him. I mean her!”
Carol giggled a little. “I know what you mean. And dear, I already knew you were.”
Joey felt a chill go down his back and opened his eyes. “You did? How?”
Carol combed Joey’s hair down in front of his face and began to snip it across the tip of his nose.
“Well honey. Your mannerisms are not what one would normally see in a boy.” She paused a moment and eyed both sides of his face before starting to snip down the hair along the left side of his face. “That and your body. You seem to be built something like a girl. Things like your build, this neck, and the way your face is. It’s very feminine. So if you are best friends with Rikkie, one can easily put two and two together.”
Joey mentally conceded to that simple logic. Yet now, if she saw it, how many others could see it too? Oh Gosh! Carol saw that he was a little uncomfortable with that revelation.
“What’s your name sweety?”
Joey, in a low voice answered, “Joey. Joey Martinez.”
“Is that the one you use for when you’re a girl?” Carol look a bit surprised as she finished trimming the back and was working on the right side.
“Ohh? Lana.”
Joey then asked, “Mrs. Preston. I would really like to know what mannerisms I have that gave me away. You see, I need to hide for now. If I am doing something wrong that is girl-like when I’m trying to act out being a boy, I need to know. I don’t want to get beat up or my father to get upset at me.”
“Dear, you can call me Carol. No need for being formal here.” She grinned.
“Yes Ma’m - I mean, Carol.”
Carol finished snipping and brushed off the hairs from the chair and Joey’s shoulder. Joey then felt something with a little weight being pressed against his forehead and the hair was being rolled around it. Carol then seemed to put some plastic spikes through the hair and into it.
“Well, it’s the way you stand, move, and generally act: a combination of things. You haven’t studied to be this way have you?”
“No Ma’m.” Joey replied.
“You seem to be a natural girl then Lana. But if you need to hide that, then try this: Keep your arms more straight when you walk and don’t let them hang out away from your sides. When you walk, take longer steps - that will help break up the way you walk as a girl. Your facial movements, all I can suggest is maybe try to hold in not being so lively or animated. Maybe stiffen up a little.”
Joey sighed. Pretend being dead. That’s what this feels like I have to do. Not being able to live.
Carol then started working on the other side. “It’s not all that bad is it hon?”
A tear trickled down Joey’s cheek.
“Oh hon!” Carol stopped and grabbed a tissue. She dabbed at his cheeks. “What is it?”
Joey held back trying to cry and worked up his throat up to speak again. “I-I-it’s just… I want to be a girl! Like now. I don’t want to hide! It hurts too. I really hate pretending to be a boy.”
Carol leaned over and gave him a hug. Joey worked at squelching his emotions and suppressed the urge to cry. He let the simple act of the hug from another woman soothe his mind. Carol pulled back from the hug and dabbed his eyes dry.
“Hon. Lana. You need to hide and be strong unless you have supportive parents. At least until you are 18. Then you can legally do whatever you wish. Being Strong! It’s something us girls learn to be when we are little: to deal with situations that are tough and be there and work through it. Besides, before you know it, you'll be able to do something about your situation. It’s not forever, you know.”
Joey looked down into his lap. Forever. That’s a long time to wait.
“Here sweet. Let me get these last rollers in and I’ll drop the dryer down to set your hair.”
Joey let her finish her work and the chair was set back into the upright position.
Carol then leaned over and said, “Come over to the dryer chair over here and I’m going to set the timer for twelve minutes. I’ll pull the dryer off of you then.” She smiled and patted his shoulders gently. Joey got up followed her over to another chair where he sat and a cone shaped cap was lowered down until it was overtop his head. A towel was then wrapped around his neck and draped overtop of his shoulders. A gentle breeze of warm air started to blow down onto him.
After the timer had gone off, Carol came back and turned off the drying machine and raised the cap. She then held proceeded to remove the hair rollers she had put in. After a couple of minutes more, she had them out and handed Joey a mirror.
“Tell me what you think.” Carol beamed.
Joey didn’t have words to describe what he saw looking back at him in the mirror. A beautiful young Mexican girl with a look of awe was staring back at him. Her hair was just perfect! The bangs that she had created from his long hair blended in perfectly with the rest, cascading down the sides of his face with the curling effect of going back under framing his head. It was gorgeous!
“I love it!”
“Now before you ask, I already know what is going to be on your mind. This style you selected is being worn by a lot of men these days so both sexes wear it. However, this does sort of make you look more of a girl. I suggest if you want to hide, you need to use some of what I said, or maybe study more of what other boys do. “
She continued, “I know you are not as tall or really as muscled as other boys, but there are things you can do to keep up a semblance of being one. The baggy clothes effect does help too.”
Lana smiled and looked back into the mirror at herself. She absolutely loved the way she looked!
Carol helped Joey out of the chair and handed him a small package. He looked at it and saw the words “Shower cap” printed on it.
Carol explained, “You unfold that and put it over your hair when you shower to preserve your styling longer. If you get it wet it will lose the curling effect. Also, don’t condition or shampoo your hair every day. Wash and condition it every other day. It keeps the hair ends from splitting or stressing the hair out too much.”
Lana was grateful for that bit of information. She didn’t know that before.
Carol then wrote up a ticket and asked, “Lana, how much does the Barber Shop usually charge you for a cut?”
Joey thought for a second.
“I think “$2.25 Ma’m.”
She smiled. “Well, then that’s how much I’m charging you for this styling.”
Lana’s jaw dropped.
“But… how much does this normally cost?”
“Don’t you worry about that. You don’t work yet do you?”
“Umm no Ma’m.”
“Then we need to keep the cost the same as what the Barber Shop would have charged you. That way, it will play a little more in favor to your Mother and Father when they see it. And the shower cap is free.”
Lana was astonished at how nice Carol was to her. No wonder Rikkie came to her! Lana then paid her and pocketed the change.
Carol waved to Lana. “I hope you do come back again sometime. You are always welcome here.”
“I hope I can come back again too Ma’m.”
Lana smiled and walked out.
To say Mrs. Martinez was pleased with what Joey did was the overstatement of the year! She started talking about how weird it looked and how his father would react to it. Joey did explain that a lot of boys wore this type of haircut now and that the cost was the same as the Barber Shop one. He retrieved the change and presented it to her. Julia could see it was indeed the same cost and she knew that her son was excited about it and appeared somewhat desperate in seeking her approval. While he did hide the fact that he would do this kind of thing from her, he was not actually required to have it cut at the Barber Shop. It was just expected. And she didn’t think for the life of her that he would even go into a Hair Salon to do this sort of thing. Her son was actually doing things on his own and growing up right in front of her eyes.
Julia weighed in those facts plus the fact that Joey had never lied to her. If asked, he always told the truth. So in all what he did was not really all that bad. Just different! The big task next was one pitting her against her husband. She didn’t think he would really like it. And she didn’t really want to go against what he liked, but she also had to weigh in what her son wanted to within reason too. And he kept his school grades up so that he stayed on the honor roll and did play basketball…
She did agree to let him keep the hair that way and would talk to his father about it later that night. Julia said she would talk to him about it while he was over at the Lopez’s since he would come home late tonight.
After helping his Mama put the groceries away, Joey rushed immediately out the back patio door, through their back yard, across the street to the left some, past an oak tree in front of the Lopez’s front yard, and stopped at the door.
The Lopez's front door opened after he ringed the bell. Rikkie! Much to Joey’s surprise, instead of saying something, Rikkie came forward and held Joey’s face as she kissed him. Rikkie pulled back and opened her eyes again.
Lana waited for the stars to clear from her vision and the emotional high she just experienced from Rikkie’s sensual kiss.
“I take it you are happy to see me Lana?” Rikkie beamed.
“Y-yy-yeah. Actually very.”
“That hairdo is just tops! It’s so you! Come on in Girlfriend!”
Comments
not sure...
... if I've commented on this before or not. It's not the usual story style I read but I have browsed and kept up. I just wanted to say that the part here with Reiner actually got me slightly teary. Damn, how much simple acceptance can mean.
Nice work Lana.
Kristina