Help my sisters' all girl group? I don't think so. There's no way that I can look like a girl! Especially a pretty black girl like Nan.
Methinks thou dost protest too much.
Part 1
It begins.
“No! Katie, I won’t do it.”
“But, it’s only for a few days.”
“No way.”
“But, this won’t work without four. All the publicity shots have been done, and printed. We can’t change them.”
“I don’t care. There is no way, not even for an hour.”
“You’re being selfish.”
“No, I’m not. What if someone finds out. I would never hear the end of it.”
“No one will find out. We’ll be on the cruise ship.”
“Mark will be there.”
“Mark?”
“We don’t get along at all. And, if he found out, it would be all over town.”
“He wouldn’t do that.”
“Yes he would. In a heart beat.”
“Please. Just think about it?”
“No. I won’t do it. Period.”
Katie was crying when she left my room, and that hurt. I loved my sister. I guess I should explain this whole thing. My older sister, Katie, who’s five years older than I am, I’m sixteen, had put together a girl’s singing group, The Four Hearts. I thought the name was a little dumb, but it worked for them. They started in high school, and continued afterwards. They have done a number of local gigs, become well known locally, have received some good publicity, and made some decent money. Then they had gotten an offer to work for five nights on a cruise ship, which was offering a special cruise for the twenty something crowd. And, the group jumped at it. They figured that it might open some new doors for them.
My sister’s best friend, Nan, was one of her backup singers, as well as doing a couple of duets with Katie. And, a little while before the cruise, Nan was hurt in an automobile accident. This was a major tragedy for everyone. I liked her a lot, and didn’t like seeing her hurt. She was going to be in the hospital for a while, and of course she would miss the cruise. Katie had spent a long time looking very hard for a replacement for Nan. But, there wasn’t anyone that would fit the bill. And, she was at her wit’s end, and almost ready to cancel the gig.
The group consisted of Katie the oldest at twenty-one, the lead singer. Nan who’s also twenty-one, and plays bass guitar. Abby who’s twenty, and played guitar. And, Pam, the baby of the group at nineteen, the composer of the group, as well as the keyboard player. Mark, was Katie’s long time boyfriend, and was the groups sort of manager. He and I never got along. There was just something about him that I never liked.
A few years ago, my dad, before he died, had built a practice room for them in the basement, and they practiced there almost every day. And, I, being a typical teenage boy, hung around them when they practiced. I enjoyed being around four pretty girls. So, I knew most of their songs. Oh yea, Pam had actually written most of there original stuff.
It wasn’t long after Katie had left my room that mom found me. She said, “Mat. Katie told me the idea that she had come up with. And, I thought she was crazy, but you and Nan are close to the same size. You can sing, and play the guitar. And, it would be almost like she was there.”
“Mom! You’re not making sense.”
“Why?”
“I’m a guy. I’m your son. And, there is no way that I’m going to dress up as a girl. Besides, there is no way that I could look like a girl, or act like a girl. Let alone Nan. She’s gorgeous. Besides . . .”
“Matty. You could. You and Nan are the same height, and about the same build. I think her outfits might even fit you. A little makeup.”
“Mom. A little makeup?”
“Oh. I see what you mean.”
You see, along with being gorgeous, Nan was also black. And, I’m as white as could be. Blue eyes, and blond hair. My northern European heritage. Nan had brown eyes, and her skin tone wasn’t really that dark, it was like a nice tan. I burn when I get too much sun, so I’ve never tanned.
“I know all the publicity photos have been done for this trip, showing the four girls. And, of course one, Nan, is black. Can’t Katie find anyone?”
“You know she’s tried. I guess she’ll just have to cancel, if the cruise line won’t accept just three girls. Nan’s a big part of the group. And, finding someone that knows the songs, and all, on such short notice is hard.”
“I know she’s trying. I really don’t even sound anything like her. My voice is too deep.”
Mom looked at me a little funny.
“What?”, what I asked.
“Honey. You have a very nice singing voice. Your voice hasn’t changed that much.”
“Oh. Thanks. I’m sixteen, and sound like a girl.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll change when it’s ready.”
Mom finally walked out of my room, and I went back to my reading.
Something else you should know about me, is that I am small. In fact, our whole family is on the small side. My dad was five foot six, my mom is five foot one, Katie is the giant of the family at five foot seven, and I’m like my dad, a whole five foot six. And, yes, my voice had never changed much. I sing countertenor in the high school choir. And, I’ve never played sports, but can play the piano, guitar, and saxophone.
Also, I’m one of those kids that don’t have many friends. There aren’t any kids in the neighborhood that are close to my age. Most are much younger. I do have a couple of friends when school’s in session, but they live out on farms, and spend most of the summer working on the farm. So, I guess my closest friends are the girls from my sister’s group. I spend most of my time reading, and helping mom take care of the house. And, the girls at school have never really liked me.
An hour or so later, I wandered downstairs, and into the kitchen looking for lunch. Katie was on the phone, when she saw me, she quietly said goodbye to whoever she was talking to, hung up, and said. “Hi Matty.”
“Hi sis. Any luck finding someone?”
“No.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“I know. It was a dumb idea thinking that we could make you look a little like Nan.”
“Not dumb. Just far fetched. How’s Nan doing?”
“That was her on the phone. She’s still sore, and the casts are bugging her. But, she’s just happy to be alive.”
“So am I. I hope she gets out of there soon.”
“So does she. She’s lonely. Want to go see her?”
There was a little smile, and a twinkle in her eyes, when she asked.
“Yea. That would be okay. After lunch?”, I replied.
“Sure.”
So, after lunch, we headed for the hospital. When we walked into Nan’s room, I was surprised as to how she looked. I knew she had been hurt. But, a cast on one leg, a number of bandages, all kinds of wires, and an IV line. I just stood there, and stared.
“Hi guys.”, Nan said, “Don’t be afraid, it isn’t as bad as it looks.”
Nan was always upbeat, no matter how bad things were. We walked over to her bed, Katie bent down, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. And, I tried to smile at her. Nan looked at me, and said, “Mat. I’ll be fine. The doctors say I’ll make a complete recovery. And, it won’t take that long.”
I just looked at her, tried to smile a little more and said, “It’s just hard seeing you laying there like that.”
“I know. Now, sit down, and tell me everything that’s going on.”
We sat with her, and Katie filled her in on all the gossip and goings on. And, I added a few comments from time to time. Finally Nan said, “Katie, would you be a sweetie. And, run down to the cafeteria, and get me a ginger ale?”
“Sure.”, Katie replied.
I went to get up, and go with Katie. But, Nan said, “Mat. Stay here, and keep me company.”
“Okay. If you really want me to?”
With a sweet smile, Nan said, “I’d like that.”
So, I sat back down, and my sister headed to the cafeteria.
Nan looked over at me, smiled, and said, “Thanks for coming, and seeing me.”
“No problem. I miss seeing the four of you together.”
“I guess Katie is going to have to cancel the gig on the ship.”
“Yea. She can’t find anyone to take your place. And, with all the publicity stuff done, I don’t know if the cruise line will accept only three girls.”
“She told me about her crazy idea of turning you into me.”
“It is kind of crazy.”
With a grin, Nan said, “I guess there’s no way they could turn a white boy, like you, into a pretty black girl, like me.”
I looked back at her with a little smile.
“But,”, she continued, “you know . . . ”
My smile turned to a questioning look, and I said, “Now don’t you start. You were right when you said, ‘There’s no way.’”
“But, Matty. You don’t want the group to fail. Do you?”
“Of course not. But, there’s no way that I’m going to dress like a girl. It’s crazy.”
“Matty. It’s only for a few days. And, it would mean so much to all of us, and especially me. Since I messed this whole thing up.”
“The accident wasn’t your fault. So, don’t feel bad.”
I could see tears appear in Nan’s eyes. This wasn’t good.
“Matty. I just feel so bad. I would give anything, if there was anyway that I could undo this.”
And, the tears started rolling down her cheeks.
I felt bad. I took her hand, and said, “Nan, don’t cry. Everything will be fine.”
“No, it won’t. I’ve messed this up big time.”
“Nan. You haven’t. I wish I could help.”
“Would you try something for me?”
“Maybe. What?”
“Well. I have a friend that works at a tanning place. Would you stop and see her?”
“For what?”
“To see if there is a way that she can get your skin color close to mine.”
“No way. It would take months to get a tan like that. Besides, I burn.”
“No, it wouldn’t. They have a spray they use, and it only takes a few minutes. How do you think your sister keeps her tan during the winter?”
“A spray. How long does it last?”
“Until it wears off.”
“And, how long is that?”
“About a week.”
“A week?”
“Yes. It wears off after that time.”
“Well . . . I don’t know.“
“Matty. For me?”
“Well. Maybe. But, what about everything else. My eyes? My hair? My voice? And, I know nothing about being a girl.”
Nan had a way about her. Was I starting to bend to her way of thinking?
“You sing in the school choir. So, I know you can carry a tune. And, you wear contacts. Don’t you?”
“Yea.”
“Then colored contacts.”
“My hair?”
“Well. I usually wear my hair fancy, with long braids, and colored beads. But, I was going to change it for the cruise, something a little easier to take care of. Your hair is somewhat long. I know of someone else that might help.”
“No. There’s no way. I can’t. What if someone found out?”
“Matty. No one will know. I know people that are so good with makeup that they could make a cat look like a dog.”
I smiled a little at that. Nan was starting to really bend me to her way of thinking. I couldn’t believe that I was starting to think about doing this. There was no way that this would work.
“Hi guys. Have a nice chat?”, Katie said as she walked back into the room, carrying three drinks.
“Matty is always a good talker.”, Nan said.
“Good. What did you guys talk about?”
“Oh. Just Mat becoming me for the cruise.”
“Really?”, Katie said, looking at me.
I just shrugged my shoulders, and shook my head yes.
Katie added, “I figure he’s still saying no to trying it.”
“I don’t know. He hasn’t said yes, and he hasn’t said no.”
Both girls looked at me. Nan with her big brown eyes, and a smile. Katie with her blue eyes, and a questioning look. Could I say no to these two?
“All right, you two. This is nuts. But, I’ll go to the tanning place, and see what happens. But, that’s all.”, I said.
The two girls looked at each other, and smiled. Katie looked at me, and said, “Thanks for doing this Matty.”
“I only said that I’d go to the tanning place. No promises.”
“I know. But, you’ve given me a little hope.”, Katie said.
We sat, and chatted with Nan for a little longer. I didn’t catch Katie checking her watch every few minutes, or the nod she finally gave to Nan. But, it wasn’t too much later that Nan started to become sleepy, and Katie said we should be going. Nan tried to get us to stay, but Katie insisted that Nan needed to get some rest. Katie got up, and gave Nan a kiss on the cheek. I just said good bye to her. And, she made us promise to come back soon. I also missed the thumbs up that Nan gave Katie as we were walking out of her room.
As we drove out of the hospital parking garage, we turned right instead of left toward home. And, I asked Katie, “Where are we going?”
“I thought we might stop at the tanning place.”
“Ah . . . Now?”
“Why not. You got a heavy date?”
“Hmm. I guess. I did promise Nan.”
“I know.”
Ten minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of the Tanning Barrel. Katie got out of the car, and I just sat. She bent down, looked in at me, and said, “Come on. It won’t hurt.”
I looked at her, and slowly got out of the car. We walked into the Tanning Barrel together. I looked around, and there were a number of people waiting. A girl walked up to Katie, greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, and said, “Hi Katie.”
“Hi Mary Ann. This is my brother Mat.”
“Hi Mat.”
“Hi.” Was all I could say.
“Is he the one that Nan and I talked about?”
“Yes. He’s the one.”, Katie replied.
I thought, ‘Nan had already called here? That was quick.’
“Come on with me, and we can get started.”
I followed behind Katie and Mary Ann to a private booth. Mary Ann closed the door behind us, and said, “All right Mat, take off your shirt, and will see how dark we can make you.”
I slowly, and reluctantly, removed my shirt.
Mary Ann continued, “The way this works, is that we get you as dark as you want to be. Then if you want to keep it, you come in every week, and we redo the spray. What I’ll do today is just a small area, to see how your skin will accept the solution. Then if you decide to do it, we can do the spray booth anytime you want. I’ll also give you some lotion, which will help extent the time the tan lasts.”
“Spray booth?”, I asked.
“We have a special booth that you go into, and the spray is applied in a very uniform way.”
“Oh.”
Mary Ann got out a little device that she called an air brush. She carefully sprayed an area on my back, waited a little while, and checked it. She said, “This looks good. What do you think, Katie?”
“Looks great to me. Can’t really tell if it’s that close to Nan’s coloring without seeing more.”, Katie answered.
“Can I see?”, I asked.
Mary Ann moved a couple of mirrors around, and I saw an area on my back that was tanned. Interesting.
I heard Mary Ann whisper something to Katie. And, Katie say. “You’re right.”
“What?”, I asked.
“Oh, nothing.”
“No. Something. What?”
“Mary Ann said, that if you do this, you’d need too lose your body hair.”
“What!”
“If you go along with this. The body hair has to go.”
“No way.”
“Matty. Have you seen a girl with hairy legs, or arms?”
“No. I’m not a girl, and there is no way am I letting you guys do that.”
“Matty. Relax. It’s no big deal. I do it all the time.”
“Yea. But, you’re a girl.”
“It grows back.”
“Sure. But, how long does it take to grow back?”
“It depends on how it’s done.”
“Hmm. How’s it done?”
Mary Ann said, “There’s three quick, none permanent ways. Depilatory, shaving, and waxing.”
“And?”
“Well. With shaving you’d have to do it almost every day, and it’s prickly when it grows back in. With the depilatory, again you have to use it every few days. And, with these you’d have to have someone do your back. With waxing, we’d do it here. It’s slow to grow back, and it grows in soft. No prickly regrowth. You’d only have to have it done once. But, it’s a little painful to start with. This is what your sister, and Nan have done.”
“I don’t like pain.”
“You kind of get use to it after a little while.”, Katie added.
“We could show you on your back. And, you’re not that hairy, so it won’t be too bad.”, Mary Ann added.
“Get use to pain? I don’t know. This is really starting to getting too deep for me.”, I said.
Katie said, “Matty. Just give it a try.”
“I really don’t know. I only said that I’d try the tanning.”
“Just one spot? For me.”
“All right. Just one spot.”
Mary Ann, as she was walking out of the room, said, “I’ll be right back.”
I looked at Katie, and said, “Sis. This is really getting too deep. Hair removal. Tanning. Not to mention everything else that you and Nan have talked about. I’m really having second thoughts.”
“Matty. Please, for me, give it a shot.”
“Sis. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I can pull it off.”
“Matty. Please rethink this. It would mean the world to me, not to mention Nan, Pam, and Abby.”
“You are going to owe me big for this.”
“I know.”
“Alright. We’ll see what happens with this wax thing.”
Just then Mary Ann walked back in, and said, “Come on with me.”
Katie and I followed her to another room. This room had a nice padded table in it, a couple of nice arm chairs, and a roll around table with various stuff on it. Mary Ann patted the table, and said, “Hop up here Mat, and lay face down.”
I reluctantly did as she said. After I laid down, Mary Ann said, “Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to spread a little wax on your back. It’ll be warm, but not hot. Then I’ll place a strip of cloth over the wax, and then remove the strip. Like I said, it will hurt a little. But, the body gets use to it after awhile. Okay?”
“I guess.”
I felt Mary Ann spread something warm on my back, and then pressed something over it. She asked, “You okay?”
“So far.”
“Now for this part.” With that Mary Ann removed the strip very quickly. I jumped about five feet, and yelled.
Finally I was able to say, “That hurt!”
“Just relax for a minute, and it’ll stop.”
I looked at Katie, and said, “Hurt a little! That really hurt. I can’t do this. No way.”
“Matty. I have this done all the time.”, Katie replied.
“Yea. But, you want to do it. I don’t. How often do yo go through this?”
“Every four or five weeks. But, only my legs, and under arms.”
“And, it hurts like this every time.”
“Only the first pull.”
“Yea. Right.”
“Your body really does get use to the pain after a few minutes.”, Mary Ann said, “Can I show you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Please, Matty?”, Katie said in a very sad voice.
I looked at her for a minute, and reluctantly said, “I . . . guess.”
Mary Ann applied some more wax to my back, another strip of cloth, and again quickly removed the cloth. I jumped. But, she was right, it didn’t hurt as bad.
“Was I right?”, Mary Ann asked.
“I guess. But, it still hurts.”
“But, it does get easier. Want me to show you? Your back is half done, and I might as well finish it.”
I wasn’t able to see the wink that Mary Ann gave Katie.
“Well.”, I said, “I guess it would look funny only half done.”
Mary Ann continued with my back, and by the time she was done, it really wasn’t too bad. I have to admit, I really liked it when she massaged some lotion onto the area that she had waxed.
“Want me to do the rest?”, Katie asked.
“The rest?”
“If you’re going to be a girl, we need to do the whole body from the neck down.”
“You’re kidding. We only came here to check on the tanning, and now I’ve gotten my back waxed.”
“Well. We know the tanning is going to work. What do you think?”
“You know what I said about you owing me. Well that just doubled. Mary Ann, is there a rest room close?”
“Sure. Turn left and it’s the third door on the right.”
After Mat had left the room, Mary Ann said to Katie, “Nan said he would do this if we worked it just right.”
Katie, smiled, and said, “There’s just something about Nan. She can wrap Mat around her little finger.”
When I got back in the room, Mary Ann handed me a thong, and said, “You’ll need to put this on.”
“Why?”
“We need to do your whole body, except your privates. And, it’s to keep you decent. You can go behind the screen, and change.”
I looked at it, and wasn’t sure it would cover everything. Even my little everything. But, I went behind the screen, stripped, and put on the thong. When I walked back out, Mary Ann said, “All right. Back up on the table.”
I looked at Katie, and said, “Does mom know about all of this?”
“Not yet. But, I was going to call her while Mary Ann works on you.”
She got up, and walked out of the room. And, Mary Ann went to work, starting with my backside, and working down the backs of my legs. She worked quickly, and methodically. Her only comment was, “I’m glad you’re not too hairy. This won’t take long at all.”
About the time she was having me roll over, Katie was back, and said, “I talked with mom. And, so far she’s fine with this. The waxing, and tanning. But, she wants to talk to us before things go much further.”
“Much further? I’m not sure it’s going any further.”, I mumbled to myself.
When Mary Ann started on my chest, the pain was almost the same as when she first started on my back, but again subsided as she did more. When she was all done, she again massaged lotion everywhere that she had waxed. She also looked over my body very carefully, looking for any hairs that she had missed, and didn’t find any. As I was starting to get off the table, she said, “Wait.”
“What?”, I asked.
“I almost forgot. Your underarms.”
“Do we have to?”
“Ever see a girl with hairy underarms?”, Katie asked.
I looked at her, and just shook my head. I figured this was really going to hurt, but it didn’t. I was surprised. As I was finally getting off the table, she asked, “Do you want to do your first tanning session today?”
I looked at Katie. She looked at me, and said, “It’s your call.”
“I’m . . . I’m . . . Oh. Why not.”, I finally said.
“By the way. After I called mom, I called Nan, and told her. She said she owes you a big kiss for doing this.”
Mary Ann had me put on a robe, and she led us, me still in the thong, back to the tanning booth. She put me inside, after telling me how I needed to stand. It only took a short time. She looked me over, and touched up a few spots using the air brush. I looked at my arms, and they had a nice tan to them, as did my legs.
Katie said, “It looks good on him. He should have done this a long time ago.”
On the way home, Katie said, “I’m proud of you.”
“Proud of me? I think it was set up.”
“Set up?”
“You and Nan set me up. I don’t think she needed anything to drink. It was just away to get me alone with her. And, let her work on me.”
Katie just sat there, and grinned.
“So, you may be able to get me to look like a girl. But, what about acting like a girl?”
“You’ve got four teachers, they’ve been girls all their lives, and can probably do a good job in teaching you. As long as, you are willing to learn.”
After we got home, mom intercepted us in the kitchen, and said, ”All right you two, sit.”
The three of us sat at the kitchen table, and mom looked at me, and said, “Well you do look good with some color. But, are you doing this because you want to help your sister, or did she and Nan coerce you into this?”
“I’m not sure what happened, mom. One minute I was myself, the next I was hairless and tan. And, I wasn’t sure why I was doing it. But, it’s done.”
“Are you going to do the cruise with the group?”
“I don’t know. I told Katie and Nan that I would check out the tanning, and that was it. But, I guess I went a little further.”
“I’d say a lot further. Katie, you know if he goes through with this, you’re going to owe him. And, Mat, if you do, be careful who finds out. Afterwards it may be a fun thing. But, during, it could be very embarrassing for everyone.”
“Mom,”, I said, “you don’t have a problem with this?”
“Yes, and no. Yes, I don’t know if I want my son dressing and acting like a girl. And, no, I don’t want to see my daughter fail, and if my son wants to help her succeed, that’s his choice.”
“I’m going to have to sleep on this. I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Abby and Pam are coming over to rehearse. Want to join us?”, Katie asked.
I thought, ‘What! And, let those two work on me too.’
But, being a teenaged boy, I couldn’t resist being around three pretty girls, even thought they were older than I am, and one was my sister. So, later that evening I joined them, in the room in the basement. I sat on a stool, and just listened to them for a while. They sounded good, but without Nan there, something was missing. As they finished one of the songs, Abby looked at me, smiled, and said, “That tan looks good on you Mat. Going to keep it?”
“I don’t know.”, I replied.
“It does look good.”, Pam added.
“Thanks. I think.”
“Nan said that you were considering doing the cruise with us.”
“Just thinking.”
“I think it would be cool.”
With a nasty tone to my voice, I said, “But, you don’t have to do it.”
“Mat! That wasn’t nice.”, Katie said.
“I’m sorry. But, this is really beginning to be too much. I’m a guy, and I don’t want to dress up as a girl, or act like a girl.”
“It’s no big deal Mat,” Pam said.
Abby added, “It’s just clothes, and some makeup. And, you look good with tan you have. It’s almost like Nan.”
“In fact it could be fun. Just to see how the other half lives.”
“You guys are really pushing this. Clothes and makeup. Yea. But, then I have to also act like a girl. I’ve been a boy for sixteen years. I don’t think I can do it.”, I said.
“The big thing is.”, Abby added, “If we don’t find the fourth. This gig is going to fall through. And, then I think that the group will fall apart.”
Abby was the serious one of the group, and could always be counted on to come to the point. My sister looked at her, then me, and I could see tears welling up in her eyes.
“Mat.”, Pam said, “You know most of these songs. Why don’t you join us for just one?”
Katie looked at me, and said, “Yea. Just do a background part.”
Against my better judgement, I slid off the stool, and said, “Just one.”
Nan and I were at about the same level with the guitar, and I knew the music. So, that wasn’t a problem. Singing with them was another matter. But, not much later, I we had done six songs. And, one was a duet with my sister.
“Matty.”, my sister said, “That was nice. You actually sounded good. Want to hear what it sounded like?”
They taped all of their practice sessions. I looked at her, and said, “I guess.”
We sat there, and listened to the tape. To start with, I could hear myself in the group, but as the session went on, my voice started to blend in with the group. And, with the duet with Katie, I wasn’t sure it was me.
“That sounded very nice girls.”, my mom, who had been standing at the door, said.
I turned around, and said, “Girls?”
“Sorry Mat. But, it did sound like a girl’s group.”
“Oh, thanks. Just what I needed”
“Mat. It did sound good. For some reason your voice blended with ours.”, Pam said, “And, I think with a few more sessions you would sound like a natural. You have a nice sultry voice.”
“Now I’m sounding like a girl!”
That night I lay in bed thinking about this whole thing. I really didn’t want my sister’s group to fail. But, I also didn’t want to dress up like a girl. I’d gone as far as the hair removal, and tanning session. And, that may have been too far. Did I want to go further? Could I go any further?
The next morning I came down for breakfast, and only Katie was there. She looked up, and just said, “Morning.”
“Hi. You okay?”, I asked.
“I didn’t sleep very well last night.”
“How come?”
“Worrying about the cruise ship gig. I’m going to have to call them this afternoon, explain what’s going on, and see if they’ll accept just the three of us. But, we’re really missing something without a fourth voice. And, I just don’t think it’ll work.”
I got myself some cereal, and sat down across from Katie. And, between mouthfuls I said, “Did I really sound that good last night?”
“Yes. Toward the end. When you relaxed, and started having some fun.”
“It was kind of fun.”
“The girls also thought that you were really fitting in.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“If I do this. What more would we have to do?”
I saw a little hope appear on my sisters face, as she said, “Get your hair done. Find someone to do your makeup, so that you’d look right. Get you a couple pairs of brown contacts. And, be sure that Nan’s outfits will work for you.”
“You’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you?”
“Yes. I’ve been running it over and over in my mind. Just incase you decided to do it.”
“Think Nan is up?”
“Oh, probably. Hospitals are notorious for getting people up early. Why?”
“I just wanted to talk to her.”
“Okay. I’ll call her.”
“Hi Nan. It’s Katie. Didn’t wake you up did I?” . . . “I figured as much.” . . . “There’s someone here that wants to talk to you.” . . . “Yea. Hang on.”
“Hi Nan. It’s Mat.” . . . “Fine. How are you feeling?” . . . “Good. I just wanted to tell you that I’ve decided to try and do the gig.” . . . “Yea. I sang with them last night, and they all said I sounded good. My mom even said so.” . . . “Yes, I’m willing to give it a shot.” . . . “Thanks. Here she is.”
I handed the phone to Katie, who had a big smile on her face. And, I was still wondering why I had just said what I did.
Katie took the phone, and said, “Hi.” . . . “No. A big surprise to me. He never said anything until he told you.” . . . “I know.” . . . “Yes. A lot of work in a short time. But, I think we can manage.” . . . “That’s great. Let me get a paper and pencil.” . . . “Okay.” . . . “Alright. Talk to Aba at the Hair Hut on 12th.” . . . “Yea. See Tom there. They’ll be all right with it?” . . . “Yes. It will be interesting.” . . . “That’ll be cool if you can do that.” . . . “I’ll wait till I hear from you.” . . . “You take care, and get well. Love you. Bye.”
Katie hung up the phone, looked at me, and said, “Mat you really surprised me. Are you really going to do this for us?”
“I’ll try.”
“Are you sure?”
“I guess.”
“No guess. I only want you doing it if you’re really sure.”
“I am. I don’t want you guys to have to cancel the gig. It may lead to something big for you.”
“Mat. If you weren’t my brother, I’d kiss you.”
“You’d better not. But, promise me something?”
“Sure. What?”
“That Mark will never find out.”
“He’s harmless.”
“I don’t care. He really doesn’t like me, and there’s no way I want him finding out.”
“Okay. But, then we’ll have to really keep you under wraps, and only let him see you when you’re fully dressed, and in girl mode.”
‘Girl mode?’, I thought, ‘This isn’t going to work.’
An hour or so later I heard Katie talking on the phone, and it sounded like it might be Nan. And, it was later that day that we were off to somewhere that I’d never been before, and I wasn’t really sure that I want to be, a beauty parlor. It was called the Hair Hut, we sat, and waited for a certain girl.
A girl, in full Goth, finally walked up to us, and introduced herself as Aba. She said that Nan had called her earlier, and explained everything. We got up and started following her. As we walked toward the back of the shop, I whispered to Katie, “How many more people are going to know about this?”
“Not many. We have to get your hair done. And, your make over.”
Aba showed us into a private room, and said, with a smile, “Mat. Don’t worry. Nan told me the whole story. And, I think you’re really cool for doing this. And, I want to help you do it. The biggest thing is getting your hair to look as close to Nan’s as we can. I do her hair all the time, and she figured that I had the best shot at doing it. Have a seat in the chair, and I’ll take a look.”
I sat in her chair, and she started looking at my hair. Finally she said, “This will work. What we’re going to have to do, is add hair extensions, dye it a mahogany brown, and do it in tight curls.”
“How will he keep it like that for the cruise?”, Katie asked.
“Easy. The curls will be very tight, and will stay in for the most part. And, if it’s like most cruise ships, they have a good beauty shop on board, and can fix it. And just being a little careful when he sleeps. When do you want to do this?”
“How long will this whole thing take?”
“The longest part will be doing the extensions. We could do the extensions, dying, and set in one day, but it would be a long day.”
“Think he should be in girl mode for this?”
“At least when he walks out of here. His hair will be so feminine, even with just the extensions, that it will look funny if the rest of him looks like a guy.”
“So, if Mat walks in. A girl should walk out?”
“That would be best. If he looks completely like a girl, there won’t be any strange looks.”
“What about makeup?”
“I think one of the girls here would be willing to help. Nan uses her when she wants a really good look. And, she’s really good at special looks.”
I had been sitting there taking in all this talk between Aba and Katie, felling like the odd man out, and I finally said, “Stop. You’re talking like I’m not even here. I’m the one that’s going to go through this. If I do. So, once I get the hair extensions I have be in girl mode from then on?”
Nodding her head yes, Katie said, “And, it might help you get into the role of being a girl.”
“Role of a girl?”
“There’s more to it than just looking like a girl. Remember I told you, you are going to have to act like a girl, move like a girl, become a girl.”
I just sank down in the chair. This was going to be more trouble than I thought.
“First lesson.”, Katie said, “Girls don’t slouch. So, sit up.”
I frowned at her, but sat up in the chair.
As we were walking out of the beauty salon, Aba said, “I’ll order the real hair extensions as close to Mat’s color as possible, and we’ll see you later in the week. And, I’ll also talk with Viv about the makeup.”
We got into the car, and I slouched down in the seat. Katie said, “Mat. Sit up.”
Reluctantly, I obeyed her.
She turned, looked at me, and said, “Mat. If you’re not going to do this, we’re going to stop right now before we waste any more money. Now. Are you doing this or not?”
I looked at her, and I could tell she was being very serious. She just sat there and looked at me. Then said, “Well?”
“I said I would, didn’t I?”
“Yes you did. But, the way you’ve been acting. . . . ”
“I’m sorry. But, there is just so much.”
“Yes there is. Trying to make a boy look like a girl, is a lot of work. You’re trying to turn a macho male, into a sweet girl. It’s a major challenge.”
“How much more?”
“We’re going to stop at Nan’s place, and pick up the clothes that she was going to wear for the cruise, and take them home. That way we can be sure they fit you, and we can make any alterations that we need to.”
“What else?”
“Another stop, on the way to her place.”
“Where?”
“Look at me, and tell me what’s the biggest difference between you and me besides our faces.”
I looked at her. And, I must have gotten a puzzled look on my face, because Katie took her hands, and pointed to her breasts.
“No way.”, I said.
“Mat. Only forms, something to go inside a bra.”
“Underwear. I’ve got to wear girl’s underwear?”
“Mat. It’s the whole thing, or nothing.”
I just looked at her, sighed deeply, and said, “Okay.”
We drove to the other side of town, and pulled into the parking lot for a place called Stage Front. As we were walking in, I asked, “Now does Nan know about all of these places?”
“You didn’t know?”
“Know what?”
“That along with being a singer, she’s been into the theater since she was very young.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No. She’s done a number of plays, and musicals. And, has gotten to know a lot of people.”
“I guess.”
We walked into the Stage Front, and Katie asked for Tom.
Tom walked up to us, and said, “Hello. I’m Tom. You must be Katie and Mat. Nan called, and said you were coming.” Then turning to me, he said, “I think it’s just wonderful that you’re going to be helping.”
“Thanks. I think.”, I said.
“Come on, and we’ll get started.”
We followed him to the back of the store, and into a dressing room. He had me sit in another beauty shop type chair, and said, “So, we’re changing you from a white boy into a black girl. A challenge, but possible. The tan looks great. I took the liberty of pulling some breast forms, and we’ll see which looks best on you. These are all close to Nan’s coloring, but in different sizes, and we may have to order something closer to your skin color. Do you have a bra?”
“Ah . . . No.”
“Okay. Lets see what size. Stand up, and take off your shirt.”
I stood, and took off my shirt. He wrapped a measuring tape around my chest, and said, “34" Then wrapped it around my waist, and said, “25". Then wrapped it around my butt, and said, “28. Okay, I’ll be right back.”
Tom walked out of the room, and I just looked at Katie. She said, “What?”
“You know this is going to be a lot of work, and money.”
“You’re right.”
“I said that I’d do it, and I haven’t been very good about it. Have I?”
“No. Not really.”
“I’m going to try and do better. You’re having enough problems, what with Nan and everything.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I really do want you guys to succeed with this gig. I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
“Really?”
“Yea.”
“Thank you. It’s going to take a lot of work just getting you to look like a girl. And, you’re also going to have to act like one. Not to mention fitting you into the group. I think we have to get you started thinking like a girl right now.”
“Okay.”
She just smiled at me. Tom came back in carrying a number of bras and something else. He laid everything down on the counter, turned, and looked at me. He picked up a garment that looked like underpants, but more.
“These are special panties.”, Tom said, “You need a girl’s figure. Your chest size isn’t bad, your waist is good, so you don’t need anything to give you a waist. But, your butt needs help, and that’s where these come in. They’re padded in just the right places, and they’ll also help keep your friend in control. Also, they’re the same color as the breast forms, and will be hard to detect.”
“My friend?”, I asked.
“You don’t want to have a bulge in front with some of the tight stuff that Nan likes to wear. Do you?”
“Oh, that friend.”
“If Katie will excuse us, I’ll show you how to come up with a smooth front.”
Katie got up, and walked out the door. Tom explained how to tuck my two little friends up inside, and pull my other friend back between my legs. And, then pull the panties up to hold everything in place. These panties were very tight, and it was very uncomfortable at first. But, after moving things around a bit, it started to feel better. Katie came back in, and was amazed as to how flat I was, and that I now had hips, and a butt.
Tom then went to work on the breast forms. They were dark, just about Nan’s skin color. He explained that there were various sizes, and we needed to try various ones to see what looked best. He handed me one of the bras, and I just looked at it. He grinned, and said, “Never put one of these on before?”
“No. Never.”, I answered.
“Here. Slip your arms through the straps, turn around, and I’ll fasten it for you.”
I did as he said, and it sure felt funny with that strap around my chest.
He then said, “Your sister can show you how to do it properly later.”
“One of your lessons Mat.”, Katie added with a smile.
“Now.”, Tom said, “We’ll try this size form first.”
He proceeded to place a form into each of the bra cups, and adjust them to his satisfaction. He stood back, examined them, looked at Katie, and said, “What do you think?”
Katie said, “No. They need to be bigger.”
Tom walked back up to me, removed the forms, and inserted a bigger set. Again, he stepped back, examined them, and asked Katie. And, again Katie said, “Still bigger.”
Again Tom walked up to me, removed the forms, and bypassed the third set, and went to the fourth. He stepped back, looked at Katie, and said, “Well?”
Katie said, “Perfect. Looks just like Nan.”
“Good. How do they feel Mat?”
“Heavy, and cold.”, I answered.
“They’ll warm up, and you’ll get use to the weight once they’re attached.”
“Attached!?”
“Yes. To make them look natural they need to be attached with glue, and makeup used to hide the edges. And, then no one will be able to tell. And, Nan likes to wear tops that show cleavage.”
“How long does the glue last?”
“It starts to degrade by itself after about two weeks, and then the breasts will just peal off. Or, you can use a remover anytime. I’ll show your sister how to apply them, and then she can put them on anytime. But, if you come back just before you leave, I’ll attach them, and do the makeup around the edges. Now, what we normally do, is have the forms custom tinted to match the persons skin color. But, we’re lucky with you, and the set your sister picked is so close that it will match without a problem.”
He laid me back in the chair, and showed Katie, how to mark where to place them. Then explained how to use the glue, place, and hold the forms in place until the glue set. Then how to work the glue around the edges. When we left, I had a set of breast forms, three bras, three sets of the special panties, the glue, and the remover. And, Katie had me wear a pair of the special panties to ‘just get use to them.’
As we went to the car, I got in like a guy would. Katie caught me and said, “Wrong.”
“Wrong. What?”
“Lesson two. A girl doesn’t get into a car that way. Get back out.”
I got out, stood beside the car, and said, “Well how should I do it?”
“Sit, and then swing your legs’ in.”
I did as she said, and it felt funny doing it that way. I watched, and she got in the car the same way. And, I said, “I’ve never noticed the difference before.”
“That’s because mom never harped on you to keep your knees together.”
“Keep my knees together?”
“So the boys couldn’t look up your skirt.”
I though, ‘Look up my skirt?’
We drove over to Nan’s apartment, to pick up the clothes that she had planned on wearing on the cruise. Nan had everything separated in her large walk-in closet, and Katie knew exactly what to take out, and she set them on Nan’s bed. Then she walked over to Nan’s chest of drawers, and started looking for something. “Here take this.”, she said, handing me a package. “And, this.”, handing me a second package.
I looked at the first package, and it was a six pack of very sexy panties. The other package was three pairs of very shear panty hose. I asked, “What are these for?”
“Nan said, that she got the panties for the cruise, and that you might as well have them.”
“But, I’ve got the others.”
“But, they’re skin colored, and if you didn’t wear panties it would look like you weren’t wearing anything.”
“Oh. And, pantyhose?”
“Nan usually doesn’t wear nylons, but for some of the formal stuff on the cruise she figured that she might need them.”
“Oh.”
“She also said that you could borrow some of her jewelry. So, lets see what she has.”
Katie walked over to her dresser, and opened up a jewelry box, and started looking at things. I just kind of looked over her shoulder. I knew Nan like to wear a lot of rings, but I couldn’t believe how many she had. Katie picked out a few, and set them aside. Then a couple choker style necklaces, and bracelets. Then she started looking at earrings, and she hesitated for a second. She turned, and looked at me.
“What?”, I asked.
“Earrings. Nan’s are all for pierced ears.”
“No way.”
“You already have your left ear done. All we have to do is your right. Besides, finding long dangle earrings like Nan wears in clip ons will be impossible.”
“Ah . . . I know I said that I’d do this, but . . . “
“A lot of guys have both ears pierced, and no one cares.”
“Oh all right. . . . I guess.”
“I’ll even do it for you. In fact, we can probably do it right here. Nan has some nice studs. Let me see if I can find some things.”
Katie went looking, and I just sat on Nan’s bed waiting. Katie was back in a few minutes, and shortly afterwards, along with the stud that I already had in my left ear, I had a small diamond stud in my right. Katie changed the stud in my left ear to one that matched the one in my right. Her comment, as she was piercing my right ear, was, “We should do multiples. Nan has five in her left, and four in her right.”
I just looked at her, and said, “No!”
Katie then selected a dozen or more pairs of the longest dangle earrings that she could find, and a couple pairs of big hoops. I remember Nan wearing the big hoops, and I thought it was cool.
Katie carefully packed the clothes into a suitcase, and the jewelry into a small travel case. Saying, “We’ll try them on at home. Next.”
“Next?”
“Shoes. Nan said we could borrow anything we want.”
“But, they won’t fit me.”
“They just might. We don’t call her ‘boat feet’ for nothing.”
“That’s not nice.”
“She called herself that first, when she found out that she had the biggest feet in the group. And, it stuck as an inside joke.”
“All right. I guess.”
“We’ll need a dozen pairs.”
“A dozen? Why so many.”
“For many different looks.”
“Does she have than many?”
“Didn’t you see the shelf at the back of her closet? There must be four or five dozen pairs of shoes, a few pairs of boots, and each has there own cubbyhole.”
“Why so many.”
“It’s a girl thing.”. Katie replied as she walked back into Nan’s closet. A few minutes later, she was back out with two pairs of shoes, and a pair of boots.
“Okay Matty. Off with the shoes and socks.”
I took my shoes and socks off, and she placed a pair of what looked like sandals on the floor in front of me. I looked at them, they had a short heel on them, and what looked like laces.
“Go on. Slip them on.”, Katie said.
I slipped my feet into them, and it felt strange, my heels higher than my toes. Katie knelt down, wrapped the laces around my ankles, and tied them. Then, she helped me stand up. She looked up at me, and said, “Well?”
“It feels strange.”
“You’ll get use to them.”
“But, a high heel sandal.”
“These are only about two inch heels, and they’re the lowest heeled shoe that Nan has other than her trainers. Lets try this pair, if they fit then anything Nan has should fit.”
This pair, was a pair of black, pointed toe stilettos. The heel looked to be twice as high as the sandals. Katie untied the sandals, slipped them off, and I carefully slipped my feet into the shoes. They were tight, but fit. And, I felt a little tipsy being on heels that high and skinny. Katie asked, “How do the feel?”
“Like I’d break my neck if I tried to walk in them. And, they’re tight. They pinch a little.”
“A little pinch is nothing. You’ll have to learn to walk in these. We’ll work on that at home. I’ll go pick a few more pairs, and we’ll get those packed up. Then we can go home.”
Katie and I carried the suit cases with clothes, shoes, and jewelry down to the car. I went to get in the car, as I usually did, and Katie said, “Stop.”
“I know. I know. Sit, and swing my legs’ in.”
“You got it.”
As Katie and I were taking everything into the house, mom said, “A girl by the name of Aba, from the Hair Hut, called and she didn’t have to order the hair extensions, she found them in the shop. She also said, that tomorrow was a slow day, and she could do Mat’s extensions. So, I made you an appointment for nine in the morning.”
I looked at Katie with, I guess, a little look of fright. And, she said to mom, “Mom. Mat will be in girl mode after we go tomorrow.”
“Why?”, mom asked.
“We figured, since he’d look more like a girl at that point, that it might be best for him to be in girl mode from the time the extensions were added.”
“Matty. Did you really agree to this?”
“I guess. I told Katie that I was going to go through this without much more complaining.”
“I see.” And, I got the look from mom. The look of, ‘I’m not sure about this.’
Katie and I hauled all of Nan’s stuff up to my room, and laid the clothes out on my bed, or at least as much as we could. I, with Katie’s help, put on a bra with the forms. And, we started trying on all of the clothes. Some of the skirts were very short, there were two long formals, a couple shorts outfits. The ones that I really didn’t care for were the ones that showed a little bare midriff. But, that’s what everyone was wearing. Surprisingly most everything fit or came very close.
Mom walked in just as I was trying on one of the formals, and said, “Very nice. But, it looks strange seeing Matty in a dress with breasts.”
“It feels funny, too.”, I replied.
“You’re really going to do this. Aren’t you?”
“I did promised Katie and Nan that I’d really try.”
She nodded her head, and walked out of the room. Katie and I carefully made room for all the clothes in my small closet, and put everything carefully away. I looked at her, and said, “What’s next?”
“I think you had better practice with the shoes.”
“Which ones.”
“If you learn to walk in the stilettos, then you’ll be able to walk in any of them.”
“But, I feel like I’m going to break an ankle.”
“If you’re careful, and remember to take small steps. You’ll be fine.”
“What about tomorrow?”
“We’ll pick out some things later. But, I figure that we’ll keep it simple, a pair of jeans, a loose top, and maybe the sandals will be good for tomorrow.”
I slipped on the stilettos, and tried to walk in them. Luckily I was next to my bed, as I almost twisted my ankle, and fell on my bed. Katie helped me sit up, and said, “Maybe we had better start with a lower heel.”
Later that evening, I practiced with the group again. That night it was my turn to not sleep very well, thinking about the change to come tomorrow. Was I really ready for this?
The next morning, after breakfast, Katie laid out some clothes for me. And, we packed them in a small case. And, as she was walking out of my room, said, “Be sure, and wear the special panties.”
At nine o’clock we were walking into the Hair Hut, and Aba was standing at the desk chatting with a couple of the other hair dressers. She saw us, smiled, and said, “Hi Mat. Hi Katie.”
We returned the greetings, and followed her to a private room. We were shortly joined by two other girls, and Aba introduced them, “This is Viv, she’ll be doing your makeup. And, this is Penny, she’s the nail tech. I figured, that while I was doing your hair, Penny could give you a manicure, and pedicure. And, then Viv can do your makeup. Is that okay?”
I looked at Katie, and she said, “Sure.” I looked back at Aba, and said, “Okay.”
Aba had me sit in her chair, she wheeled over a tray, and Penny rolled over another tray. Aba started working on my hair, and she was pulling, and twisting. But, what Penny was doing to my hands was relaxing. I closed my eyes, and tried to relax. I don’t know how long this took, but at about the time Aba was done with the extensions, Penny had finished with the pedicure.
“Mat.”, Aba said.
“Huh?”, I said shaking myself out of a fog.
“Mat. I’m going to have to style your hair, do you have any idea what you want?”
“Ah. No.”
“I think I know something that will look very cute.”
“You know best. I guess.”
I don’t know how long it was, but when she was done, I saw myself in the mirror, and I had a very feminine hairdo. And, the hair went well below my shoulders. Then Viv walked in, and started on my makeup.
I happened to look at my hands. My nails were a dark red, and longer than they had been by about half an inch. I looked at Katie, and she grinned, as she said, “You must have really been zoning. Penny put acrylics on your nails, and polished them. Look at your toes.”
I looked at my toes, and those nails were the same color as my finger nails. I looked back at Katie, and she said, “Remember we decided full girl mode after the hair.”
“But, I wasn’t expecting this.”
“It’s part of it.”
Viv asked me, “Mat, are you shaving yet?”
“No.”, I replied.
“Good. We won’t have to hide a beard shadow.”
I sat there while Viv worked on my makeup. The worst thing was when she was plucking my eyebrows, it wasn’t the pain, but how much she was doing. When she was completely done, she turned me around to face the mirror, and I saw for the first time what she and Aba had done to me. I just looked at myself for a long time. I was a girl, hair, makeup, and all. Viv had actually given me nicely arched eyebrows.
Katie said, “I love the look Matty. Aba and Viv did a really good job.”
“I know sis. Almost too good.”
“What do you mean?”
“Will everything be back to normal by the time school starts?”
“It should be. We’d better get you changed. We have other things to do.”
I looked at Katie, and said, “I guess I’m stuck going out like this now. Aren’t I?”
“And, you’ll do just fine.”
“Know what?”
“What?”
“We’ve never come up with a name for me to use with Mark.”
“Oh. . . . You’re right. I’ll have to think on that. But, as far as the cruise line is concerned you’re Nan.”
Katie helped me change into the clothes that she had picked for me, a bra, the forms, a leather skirt that hit me about mid thigh, and a brightly colored blouse. Katie called it a tie-front silk blouse. It actually felt nice. I also wore the sandals with the ties.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I was standing there for the first time looking like a girl, but feeling very scared. I knew that Aba and Viv had done some remarkable work to make me look like a girl. I looked in the full length mirror, and saw a girl. Blond with a deep tan. Even kind of cute. But, could this boy, now looking more like a girl, walk out of the beauty shop, and be a girl, not a boy. I wasn’t sure.
“Come on Matty we have things to do.”, Katie said, as she took my arm and led me out of the room.
As we walked to the front desk, Aba and Viv were standing there, they looked at me, both smiled, and Viv said, “Looking really good girlfriend.”
I think I might have actually smiled at that. I know I felt a little bit better. There were a number of other customers in the shop, some looked, some didn’t. But, there were no strange looks like what I had expected. Katie and I said good bye to Aba and Viv, and walked toward the door. I hesitated at the door, Katie looked at me, and said, “Matty. You look cool. I know you’re nervous about this, but you’ll be fine. The more we get you out, the better you’ll feel.”
As we walked to the car, Katie said, “I think I have a name for your female side.”
‘My female side?’ I asked her, “What?”
“Kyla.”
“Kyla. . . . Hmm. I guess.”
Katie watched as I got in the car. And, I did it correctly. She just smiled at me, then said, “You have a lot to learn in the next week and a half. And, start watching all the girls that you see. Not like a guy watching girls, but to learn how they walk, move, and interact. Remember the things that I’ve told you, always a little smile, walk with your head up, one foot in front of the other, short steps, and everything else. You’re now a pretty girl, and you need to be proud of that. Think you can do it?”
“I’ll try.”
“I can’t ask any more than that.”
We drove over to the optometrist that we used, to pick up my brown contacts. Then we stopped at the mall, and walked around for a little while. It took Katie awhile to get me out of the car, and into the mall. As we were finally walking toward the mall, Katie told me that we were doing this for a couple of reasons. One was to get me use to being around people. Another was to watch girls and women. And, lastly to just do some window shopping. We spent a couple of hours there, and I started to relax. The more people ignored me, the better I felt. I received some smiles from women, and some admiring looks from guys. Then, as we were leaving the mall, we stopped in a small boutique, and Katie bought me a purse. The clerk at the boutique treated me just like any other customer. It was like I was just one of the girls.
Now, mom when she saw me was almost speechless. But, finally said, “Mat. I never thought that you’d go through with this whole thing.”
“I promised Katie. And, we had a long talk about it.”
“I just hope this will work for you Katie. It’s been a lot of work.”
“I know mom.”, Katie said, “Everyone that’s seen Mat this way is just struck by how good he looks.”
“It’s not all looks.”
“We know mom, and we’re working on it.”
Three days after Aba had put in the hair extensions, we were back having my hair dyed mahogany brown. She also dyed what was left of my eyebrows the same color. I had worn my brown contacts, so that when we were done, I’d be completely Kyla. It took Aba awhile to put my hair in tight curls, but when she was done, I had what looked like a thousand curls down to my shoulders. Viv then redid my makeup to go with my hair and eyes.
Katie had brought a pair of Nan’s large loop earrings, and replaced my studs with them. She commented, that we shouldn’t be removing the stud from my right ear yet, but as long as we were careful we should be okay. When I finally looked in the mirror, I saw a pretty black girl, and Katie with a broad smile on her face looking over my shoulder. I turned around, and said in my best Kyla voice, “Well girlfriend, are you happy? You now have a sister instead of a brother.”
“Matty. . . . No. Kyla. You look fantastic. And, I really owe you big time.” She walked over, and kissed me on the cheek, just like she did with her girlfriends. Then said, “There’s someone that’s going to be even more surprised.”
“Who?”
“Nan.”
“Yea. She hasn’t seen any of this.”
“Want to go surprise her?”
A little while later we were walking down the hall to Nan’s room, and Katie stopped me. She said, “Lets really surprise her. You go in by yourself, and see how long you can fool her.”
“Cool.”
We stopped outside Nan’s door. Katie looked me over. Smiled. And said, “Go have some fun.”
I slowly walked into the room, and peaked around the curtain. Nan looked up, saw me, and said, “Hello honey. Can I help you?”
Again, in my best Kyla voice, I said, “I’m looking for my friend. She’s supposed to be in this room.”
“I’m the only one in this room. What’s your friends name?”
“Nan.”
“My name’s Nan. But, I don’t think I know you.”
I couldn’t help but get a big grin, as I said, “Does the name Mat mean anything?”
“Mat!?”
“Uh huh,”
“No way?”
“Way.”
“Where’s that sneaky sister of yours?”
“Right here.”, Katie said, walking into the room with a big grin on her face.
“Matty. If I could get out of this bed, I’d give you such a big hug. And, I love your earrings. And, your hair is just perfect.”
“The earrings are yours, and I can wait until you’re better for the hug.”, I replied.
“They’re yours now. And, Katie he, no she, looks so good. Is there really a boy in there?”
“He’s still in there some place. It took a lot of work. But, your friends did it.”
“How’s his singing voice?”
“I’d worry, if I were you. He’s beginning to sound almost as good as you do.”
“Mat. You’d better not take my place.”
“Don’t worry.”, I said, “You just hurry up and get well. I’ll stop being Kyla any time.”
“Kyla. That’s a cool name.”
“Katie came up with it.”
“Has Mark met Kyla yet?”
“No.”, Katie replied, “He won’t be back until just before we leave.”
“That will be the real test. If you can fool him, you can fool anyone.”
Nan saw the frown on my face, and added, “What’s wrong honey?”
“Mark. I just don’t like him.”
“It’ll be fine, honey. There’s no way that he’ll know that you’re really Mat.”
“I sure hope not.”
I was sitting on Nan’s bed, and trying to break the sullen mood that I started, she reached out for my breasts. ‘My breasts?’ Touched them, and said, “Are these real?”
I jumped like they were real. Katie laughed a little. And, Nan grinned. We sat and talked like three girlfriends for an hour. I tried very hard to maintain Kyla. At one point a nurse came in, and said, “Could you girls excuse us for a couple of minutes? I have to change a dressing.”
I looked at Nan, grinned, and said, “Sure. We’ll be in the hall.”
Once in the hall, Katie said, “See. I told you that you were passable.”
“Meeting Mark will be the test to pass.”
“Why don’t you like him?”
“I’m not sure. I just get bad vibes from him. He just seems . . . seems like he’s always up to something.”
“He’s harmless.”
“We’ll see.”
We stayed another hour with Nan, and as we were leaving, she said, “Kyla. It’s really nice to have another girlfriend.”
“Thanks girlfriend.”, I said, as I bent down, and kissed her on the cheek.
I was feeling pretty good. Almost sure of myself. Was I really beginning to get into this?
When we walked in the house, my mom saw me, she just sat down on a kitchen chair, and stared. I looked at her, and said, “Mom. Are you all right?”
She just continued to stare. But, finally said, “Matty, do I have another daughter?”
“Only till after the cruise, mom.”
“It amazes me how pretty you look. Just be careful.”
“I will mom.”
The next week was a flurry of activity. I practiced every day with the group, and I was beginning to feel like a member. Katie, and the others, corrected everything that I did that wasn’t feminine. We spent more time at the mall. And, I began feeling more and more confidant. Abby and Pam were treating me more like Kyla than Mat. And, I was feeling more like Kyla.
But, the biggest test was yet to come. Introducing Kyla to Mark. Something I really wasn’t looking forward to. Mark had been away for some reason or other, and was coming back two days before we left for the cruise ship.
The day Mark was to meet Kyla. We went back to see Tom at Stage Front. He carefully attached the breasts to my chest, and then blended makeup around the edges. Katie watched very closely, just incase she had to redo them. Tom told us that the makeup was waterproof, but may need to be reapplied after a couple of showers.
As I finally sat up, it amazed me how heavy the forms were pulling on my chest. I looked in the mirror, and I had breasts. You couldn’t see where the forms ended, and I began. I looked at Katie, and she just smiled. I finally put my bra back on, and it felt so much better. I thanked Tom with a hug, and he wished us good luck.
Next was a visit with Aba, Viv, and Penny at the Hair Hut. Aba congratulated me in keeping my hair in fairly good shape, she only had to touch it up a little. Viv asked how I’d done my makeup so well, I had to admit that Katie had done it all, so Viv had nothing to do. And, lastly Penny not only changed the color of my nails, but did some fancy designs on them. So, I guess I was as good as these people could make me.
As we were walking to the car, I asked Katie, “Can I meet Mark with the rest of the girls around?”
“Sure. Safety in numbers?”
“Sort of.”
“He should be at the practice tonight, and we can introduce the two of you then.”
“If we have to.”
“Relax. It will be fine.”
“I hope.”
As I was changing clothes later that day, I looked in the mirror, and saw the pretty black girl looking back at me. She was only wearing panties, and a bra. And, looked very cute. But, she was me. I’m a guy. Why was I doing this? Could I do this? I wasn’t sure. Not sure at all.
That evening at practice, after we were about half way through our fifth song, Mark walked in. I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. He stood at the door, and listened. When we finished, Katie went over to him, and gave him a big kiss. My stomach turned over. He was looking at the three of us, but I felt it was more at me.
“So, this is our new fourth?”, he said, looking at me in a way that it made me very uncomfortable.
Katie said, “This is Kyla. Nan found her for us. She’s a bit quiet until she gets to know you. Kyla, this is Mark.”
“Good thing Nan found her. She caused this whole mess.”
I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck, and was about to say something. But, Katie beat me to it with, “You know the accident wasn’t Nan’s fault. So, just give it up.”
Mark just looked at Katie. He then walked over to me, and I offered him my hand. He took it, and looked into my eyes. I didn’t like the look. And when he said, “From what I just heard, Nan had better get well quick, or we have her replacement already.” I felt hatred building inside, and I pulled my hand back from him.
Katie said, “Mark! Kyla is a friend of Nan’s, and she’s doing this as a favor to her. If you make her mad, she’ll probably back out.”
“Sorry. But, I had figured this gig was a bust.”
“It’s not. Thanks to Kyla. Be nice to her. And, remember onboard ship, she’s Nan.”
“Yea. Nan.”
Katie walked back over to the group, and Mark sat on one to the stools. We practiced for another hour before calling it a night. Mark hung around, so I left with Abby. We drove around, stopped to get a Coke, and just sit for awhile. Abby, for some reason, sat there, and stared at me. I finally said, “Please stop staring at me.”
“I’m sorry. But, I just can’t believe that you did all of this. I was just trying to find Mat in there.”
“He’s here.”
“But, you’ve taken to this so well. I mean. You have to look really close to find anything masculine.”
“Thanks!”, I said sarcastically.
“I’m sorry. I meant that as a compliment. Katie said that you really had a hard time with it at first, but when you saw how much it meant to us, you went all the way.”
“It’s alright. Katie and I had a long talk, and I decided that I didn’t want you guys to fail. So, I went with it.”
“I’m so glad you did. You know that I’ve always really liked you.”
“I’ve always liked you to Abby. But, Mark scares me.”
“Why?”
“Just the way he just sat there, and stared at me.”
“He does that all the time. Besides you should be use to all the guys looking at you from the trips to the mall.”
“What I get from the guys at the mall is one thing. There was just something different about the way he was looking at me.”
“Well, don’t worry too much. The three of us will look after you.”
“Thanks.”
Part 2
The First Cruise
Two days later, very early in the morning, all four of us were back at the Hair Barn. We were all having our hair done. I also had gotten in another tanning session the day before, which should last for the cruise. Our plane was leaving at one, and it was a two-hour flight to pick up the cruise ship. We’d be boarding in the late afternoon with all the rest of the passengers. Mom drove the five of us, Katie, Abby, Pam, Mark, and me, to the airport. We worked it so that Mark sat in the front of the van with mom. And, all of our clothes were stuffed in behind the rear seat. Mom gave each of us a hug as we were getting ready to go through security, and she whispered to me, “Matty. Just relax, everything will be fine, and have fun. You’ll do great.” I was still wasn’t sure about this whole thing. But, was it too late to back out now.
I whispered to mom, “Mom. I don’t know if I can go through with this.”
She pulled me aside, and said, “Matty. You can do this. Your sister is counting on you, and you promised her. Besides, you’ve become a very passable in a surprisingly short time. And, everything will be fine.”
“Okay mom. I’ll try.”
The flight was uneventful, except Mark sat between Katie and me. Our staterooms on the ship weren’t bad. Katie and I were going to share one, much to Mark’s chagrin. The stateroom had two twin beds, two stuffed chairs, a table, a TV set, a fairly large closet, a bathroom, and a port hole. We unpacked our things, and then met everyone else for a tour of the ship. We found that there were four different stage set ups on board, none were very large, so that the passengers could choose from a different show each night. We were going to be sharing our stage with a band called The LDG. It was a group of five, late teen to early twenties, guys. They were going to do a few numbers, then we would do a few, then we would do the rest of the session together. Even though we were working for the cruise line, we were also allowed to participate in all the things that the regular passengers could.
The ship sailed at six, and it wasn’t long before we were out of the sight of land. The first night there were no shows. But, a big welcome party, with all kinds of food, and drink. It was a lot of fun, everyone getting to know each other. We met the guys from the band, and they seemed really nice. We agreed to get together the next afternoon at one to practice together.
Katie and I ended up getting to bed at about two in the morning. And it was strange sleeping in the same room as my sister. But, it was when she said, “Goodnight sis.”, that I felt comfortable being there with her. Of course, no more sleeping naked, I was wearing a nightgown. We both slept until late morning.
Our first gig on board ship was great. I wore a very pretty, black, full length gown that laced up the back, and was a little low cut for my liking. A pair of stilettos, yes I had finally learned to walk in them, a pair of very fancy dangly earrings, a mix of rings on my fingers, and one of the choker style neckless. And, Katie did my makeup. We worked well with the band, and my duets with Katie were very well received. But, I was as nervous as hell walking out on that stage for the very first time. I was glad I was singing background for the first three numbers. Out of no where, one of the boys from the band, during one Katie’s solos, walked over to me, and asked me to dance. Why I said yes, I don’t know. But, I did. We danced on the stage while Katie sang. It was a little awkward, Katie had never shown me how to dance as a girl, and I was a little unstable in the heels. But, it was a slow song, I relaxed, and just followed his lead. After the show, as usual with a cruise ship, there was a party going on in the Main Lounge, and the four of us partied with the members of the band and other passengers. As Katie and I were getting ready for bed, I told her, “You need to teach me how to dance like a girl.”
“Why?”, she asked.
“I nearly broke my ankle tonight dancing with that guy. I tried to lead, and it threw both of us off.”
“Tomorrow little sister. Get some sleep.”
When Katie and I were getting read for our second night’s gig, she handed me a shinny gold dress, and said, “The bra has to go.”
“What?”
“You can’t wear a bra with that dress.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s v-cut to just below your navel, and backless down to your butt.”
“I don’t remember seeing this dress before.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“Nan told me about it, and said you’d look fantastic in it.”
“Nan! Wait until I get a hold of her. And, I’m not going out on that stage, and let my boobs hang out.”
“They won’t.”
“Oh yea! How?”
“Tape.”
“Tape?”
“You’ll find some thin double sided tape in my makeup case. You put the dress on, put the edges of the v where you want them, and then use the tape to hold it in place.”
“Yea right.”
“Trust me.”
I took off my bra, and slipped the dress on. It was really low cut, right down to below my navel, it tied at the back of my neck, and was very short. And, my back felt cold. Katie took two pieces of tape, and placed them strategically. I moved around the stateroom, and the dress did stay in place. My breasts moved more than I liked, but I guess I could live with it.
“See. I told you it would work. It’s one of those little girl tricks.”, Katie said with a smile.
“Girl tricks?”
“You’re still learning little sister. You know, a piece of navel jewelry would look really cool with that dress.”
My shoes tonight were gold, to match the dress. And, had open toes with three-inch clunkey heels, and an ankle straps. The jewelry was close to last nights, just different things all in gold. I was really nervous, and very self conscious, wearing that dress, and walking from our stateroom to the stage. Every man I walk by, did a double take. And, I swear that there was standing room only for our gig that night. Again, our set went very well. And, again, I danced with the guy, Gary, from the band. Gary was the leader of the band, well as close to a leader as the band had.
We were going to party again that night, but I didn’t want to do it in that dress. So, I headed for our stateroom to change, and just as I turned down the hall, I heard someone behind me. I looked over my shoulder, and it was Mark. My stomach got a knot in it, and I just kept walking. Then I heard, “Kyla.” It was Mark calling my name. I just kept walking.
Just as I reached my stateroom door, I felt a hand on my arm. I knew it was Mark. He said, “Kyla. What’s the big hurry, honey? I just wanted to talk.”
“Leave me alone.”, I said.
Mark, as he spun me around, said, “I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk.”
“That hurt!”
“I can make it better.”
He pulled me closer, and kissed me. Not only kissed me, but tried to force his tongue into my mouth. I tried to push him away, but he was stronger than I was. He held me tighter, and kissed me again. I felt a hand on my breast. Then he said, “I know you want me.”
“No. Let go!”, I almost screamed.
As he pushed me hard against the wall, he said, “I know that you’ve wanted me since the first time you saw me.”
“No. Let go of me!”, I screamed.
By this time I was crying. But, I remembered reading something, and I came down as hard as I could on his foot with the heel of my shoe. He should be happy I wasn’t wearing stilettos. But, just the same, it must have hurt. He let go, and stumbled back against the other wall on the other side of the hall. This gave me just enough time to open the door to the stateroom, go inside, and lock the door. I heard the door handle rattle, and then him yell, “I’ll get you bitch.”
I sat on the bed, and cried. Not like a guy, but like a girl. I was really upset. I wanted out of there. Off the ship. I was done.
I don’t know how long I sat there crying. But, I heard a key in the door, and braced myself for Mark. But, it was Katie, Abby, and Gary. “Honey!”, Katie asked, “What happened?”
I got up, wrapped my arms around Katie’s neck, and just cried. She held me. Abby came over, and brushed the hair out of my eyes. Gary stood against the door, and just watched. Abby whispered, “Honey. We were worried when you didn’t come back. And, came looking for you.”
I looked at her through the tears. Katie again asked, “What happened?”
All I could get out was, “Mark.”
“Mark what?”
All I could do was cry. Abby quietly said, “Mark must have done something really bad.”
We heard the door open and close, looked over, and Gary was gone. Katie helped me back to the bed, and sat down with me. Abby got a cold cloth from the bathroom, and wiped my face. And, all I could do was cry.
“Honey. What did Mark do?”
I finally calmed down a little, and between sobs I told Katie and Abby what Mark had done. The more I said, the madder Katie got. And, when I said, that I felt like he wanted to rape me. Katie got up, and almost ran out the door. I yelled, “Katie. No.” But, she kept on going.
Abby sat there with me, holding me while I cried even more. She actually rocked me, while softly saying, “Shhh. Everything will be all right. Don’t worry little Kyla. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Something inside me started to calm me down. I felt safe in Abby’s arms. Finally I stopped crying.
Abby took me into the bathroom, and carefully washed my face with cold water. I was a mess, to say the least. I started talking again, “I knew that he was no good. I just knew it. He’s a bastard.”
“Shh.”, Abby said, “You’ll get upset again. He’s not worth it.”
Abby and I finally walked back into the bedroom, and she helped me removed my dress. Then she found my robe, and helped me put it on. Then she took off my shoes, and jewelry. I sat back down on the bed, and started shaking uncontrollably. Abby held me, and talked very softly to me. There was something about being held by her. It had a calming effect on me. I asked her, “Is this how real girls feel when things like this happen?”
“Worse.”
“I can’t imagine. I feel . . . feel . . . “
“Violated?”
“Yes. I just can’t imagine how a girl would feel if she was raped, if I feel this way.”
And, I started crying again. Abby just held me. And, I cried myself to sleep.
I don’t know how much later it was, but the sound of a key in the door startled me awake. Abby was sitting next to me on the bed, and took my hand. The door opened, and Katie, Gary, and Pam walked in. Everyone was smiling, and I was confused. Katie, walked over to my bed, sat down, looked at me, and said, “Honey, are you all right?”
I said, “I think. How long have I been asleep?”
“About two hours.”, Abby replied.
“Why are you guys smiling?”
Katie said, “When I found Mark, he was in the Main Salon, and security was trying to keep Gary from hitting him. I then verbally laid into Mark. I told him he was nothing but a womanizer, and a bastard. That he had hurt a very nice person, and that I never wanted to see him again.”
“You didn’t tell her the best part.”, Gary said, “This whole scene, and it was a real scene, happened right in front of most of the passengers, the Captain, the Purser, and the Cruise Director. Katie told everyone what he had done. And, that he was no longer the group’s manager.”
“Then,”, Pam said, “it even got better. Since he was no longer with the group, the Cruise Director told him that he would have to pay for the cruise. He took out a credit card, and gave it to the Purser. The Purser went to run the card, came back, and told him that it was no good. Mark gave him another one, and the same thing happened. Then, Mark called his dad, and it appears that his dad, who was carrying him, got tired of it, and shut off all of his credit.
“And, since he couldn’t pay. The Captain told him he would have to leave the ship at the next port. And, we docked an hour ago. The ship’s security people helped him pack, and escorted him off the ship.”
I started to get a smile on my face. But, then I got to thinking, and said, “What happens when we get home?”
“Handled.”, Katie said, “Or, will be. I called my mom, and boy was she ever upset! She also reminded me how my brother Mat had never had liked or trusted Mark. She is going to talk with someone about getting a restraining order. And, the Captain also has to write this up, so you’ll have to tell him what happened.”
“Oh.”, I said. And, I started wondering if they were going to find out that I was really a guy. I must have gotten a very worried look on my face.
“Don’t worry. You won’t have to do it until later. And, we’ll be there for you. Now, I think we all need to get some sleep.”
Gary, as he was leaving, gave me a hug, and said, “Get a good nights sleep. And, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled at him. Pam also gave me a big hug. I also got a big hug from Abby, who said, “Everything will be fine. It’s all over. Just get a good nights sleep.”
I said, “Thanks for staying with me.” And, I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
She also gave me a kiss on the cheek, and whispered, “Only for you, love.”
Later as Katie and I were getting ready for bed, she said, “What’s with you and Abby?”
“What do you mean?”, I asked.
“I’ve never seen her this way before. Usually she’s very tough, and serious. But, with you she was . . . I guess, soft and kind.”
“I don’t know. Maybe she knew that I was really hurt, and needed someone.”
“Could be. Oh. Mom wants you to call her tomorrow.”
“This can’t be good.”
“No. She just wants to be sure that you’re all right. You are, aren’t you.”
“Sort of. Knowing that Mark is gone helps.”
“I know. Goodnight little sister.”
“Nite sis.”
I woke up with a start, with Katie shaking me, and saying, “Matty. Matty. Wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, honey. You had a rough time last night.”
“I was dreaming about the whole thing all over.”
“It’ll be all right. It may take awhile, but all it will be is a distant bad memory.”
“I don’t know if I can finish this.”
“Honey. It’ll be fine. Mark’s gone. Everyone is on your side. You can do it.”
“I hope. What time is it?”
“About eleven.”
“I’m going to take a shower.”
“Okay honey. Wake me up when you’re done.”
As I got out of the shower, and patted myself dry, I noticed that some of the makeup around my breast forms was disappearing. When I work Katie up, I told her about the makeup, and she said, “Okay honey. Let me wake up, and will fix it.”
A little while later, with my breasts repaired, I put on a pair of shorts, a loose top, the sandals, and went up on deck for a walk. I didn’t feel like eating, I just wanted to watch the water, and try and relax. I had been standing by the rail for a while, when a hand touch my shoulder, and I jumped. When I turned around, it was Abby, and I smiled.
Abby said, “Mind if I keep you company?”
“No. I was just about to go for a walk around the deck.”
“Great.”
We started walking, and Abby held onto my arm as we walked. As we approached the bow area, I heard, “Miss Harris.” Then again, “Miss Harris.” Then it hit me, that was Nan’s last name, and someone was calling my name. I turned around, and it was one of the ship’s officers. He asked, “Are you Nan Harris?”
“Yes.”, I answered.
“The Captain was wondering if he could speak with you?”
“I guess.”
“Can I come with her?”, Abby asked.
“That should be all right miss.”, the ship’s officer said.
We followed the officer to the Captains quarters. And, what a nice stateroom it was. It looked almost like a house. The Captain walked in, and said, “Thank you for coming Miss Harris, and Miss?”
“Robinson.” Abby replied.
“Miss Robinson.”
“Very nice stateroom, Captain.”, I said.
“It’s my home away from home. And, sometimes my wife sails with us. So, the company makes our life as comfortable as possible.”
“The officer said that you wanted to speak to me?”
“Yes. About last night. If you’re up to it?”
“Sure.”
“First I want to apologize for what happened. We try to run a very safe ship, but security can’t be everywhere.”
“I understand.”
“Could you tell me in your own words what happened?”
I went into every detail that I could remember. And, when I was done, the tears were running down my cheeks, and Abby was holding my hand. The Captain said, “Thank you. That’s all I need. Are you planning on pressing charges?”
“I’m not sure yet. I want to talk it over with my friends.”
“If you decide to, I’ll be sure you have copies of all of our paper work. He did admitted to it, in front of about a hundred people, so you have a lot of witnesses. Also, I’d like you, and your friends, to have dinner at the Captains table tonight.”
I looked at Abby, back at the Captain, and said, “I think that would be nice.”
As Abby and I continued our walk. I said, “If I press charges. I’m afraid that it would come out that I’m a guy. And, it’s really his word against mine.”
“You’re probably right about people finding out. But, he did admit to it in front of a number of people. Feel like getting something to eat?”
“I am feeling a bit hungry.”
We went to the buffet, got a light meal, and found a table. Abby was quieter than usual, and I just played with my food. Finally Abby, looked at me, and said, “Kyla. What happened to you last night, also hurt me very much.”
“I think it affected everyone.”
“More than you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well. This is kind of hard for me. . . . I like Mat. But, I really like Kyla.”
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“It’s that . . . “
Just then Katie and Pam found us, and sat down before Abby could finish. I could tell by the look on Abby’s face that she wanted to finish her thought, but couldn’t with the others there.
Abby and I didn’t have another chance to get together that day. And, that evening, the four of use ate at the Captain’s table, and had a wonderful time. I was wearing another evening gown. This time a strapless one, a pair of fancy heels, more jewelry, and another choker style neckless. And, at Katie’s insistence, I had also gone to the ships beauty shop, and had my hair done. And, it made me feel good to be pampered that way. At dinner, Katie sat on one side of the Captain, and I on the other. And, I overheard the Captain tell Katie that everyone on the ship’s staff was impressed with the two groups, and were happy that they had come on the cruise.
Just before our performance, I called my mom from our stateroom. “Hi mom.” . . . “Yea. I’m fine now.” . . . “No, I’m really fine with Mark gone. It was a traumatic thing. And, I just wish that it had never happened.” . . . “That was funny, when they tossed him off the ship.” . . . “I just hope that this doesn’t come back to haunt me.” . . . “That’s what Katie said, a restraining order.” . . . “We’ll just do what we need to do. And, Kyla will be gone in a few days. I’ve got to go.” . . . “Love you, and see you in a few days. Bye.”
During the performance that night, again I danced with Gary. And, he whispered to me, “Do you and Abby have something?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you guys together? Like, lovers.”
“No. We’re just really good friends. Why?”
“Oh. I just saw the two of you together on deck today, and it looked more than friends.”
“In what way?”
“The way she was holding your arm while you were walking. And, the way she looked at you.”
“No. Just good friends.”
With that Gary held me closer. Did he like me? And, what did he see between Abby and me?
After the party, when Katie and I got back to our stateroom, I changed into a nightgown, and lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. Katie came out of the bathroom, and asked, “Got something on your mind?”
“Sort of.”
“Want to talk?”
“As what?”
“As what?”
“Brother and sister, or girlfriends?”
“Which ever.”
“Girlfriends?”
“Okay. So, what’s going on?”
“I’m trying to figure out Gary, and something else.”
“Well. Gary is easy. He’s seeing a very pretty girl in you, and is smitten by her.”
“But, Kyla isn’t real.”
“He doesn’t know that. And, probably shouldn’t. How do you feel about him?”
“I’m not sure. I like him. He stood up to Mark. But, I don’t like guys in a girl sort of way.”
“I know you don’t. But, maybe you’re letting a little of you feminine side show. And, are feeling things like a girl would. The past couple of days, I’ve noticed that you’ve really fallen into the role of Kyla. You like being her?”
“It’s been interesting, being treated like a girl. And, you may be right about falling into the role. Maybe a little too far. I probably won’t ever see Gary again after this week.”
“Probably not, at least not as Kyla. And, no. Not too far. Kyla has been great. She’s become part of the group, and added a lot to it. And, I love her like a sister”
“A sister. So, you like me as Kyla?”
“It’s been interesting watching the change. You do have a strong feminine side. And, having a sister has been fun. Now. What’s the something else?”
“Abby.”
“Abby?”
“Tonight, Gary asked me if Abby and I were lovers.”
“Lovers! You and Abby. Why did he ask you that?”
“Something he saw earlier today.”
“What?”
“When Abby and I were walking on deck, she was holding onto my arm. And, I thought nothing about it. He also said something about the way she was looking at me.”
“Hmm. Abby has always been the quiet one. Even more so than you. Maybe she sees something she likes in Kyla.”
“Something in Kyla? She did start to tell me that she liked Mat, but really liked Kyla, and that’s when you and Pam walked up and joined us. She never got a chance to finish.”
“I know that she’s always liked you. But, I thought it was because you were my brother. Maybe you need to let her finish what she was telling you.”
“Maybe.”
“How do you feel about Abby?”
“I like her. But, I also like Nan and Pam. Abby was very sweet with the Mark thing. It was like she was really concerned about me, and didn’t like seeing me hurt. But, you know, I kind of felt different when she held me.”
“How so?”
“I’m not sure. It was just a calming thing. I felt at ease. It felt nice.”
“Maybe she does really like you.”
“The Mat me or the Kyla me?”
“Good question.”
“Besides she’s almost four years older than I am.”
“Not necessarily a problem. But, right now you’re jail bate for her if anything would happen.”
“Jail bate?”
“You’re sixteen, and she’s twenty. If anything would happen between the two of you, she could be in big trouble. Remember Sally and Jimmy?”
“But, he was the one that got in trouble.”
“Exactly. He was nineteen, and she was seventeen. And, her parents went nuts when they found out they were having sex. And, he went to jail.”
“Oh.”
“I think you need to let Abby finish what she was going to tell you. Maybe go to breakfast with her tomorrow. If she wants to talk, she’ll find you. And, I’ll be sure Pam and I don’t bother you.”
“You think?”
“You need to find out what’s going on with her.”
“Okay.”
“Sleep on it. Goodnight sis.”
“Night sis.”
We had two nights left, and they went better than the others. We noticed a number of people in the audience that had been there more than once, and there was always people standing at the back of the auditorium. The last night, I wore another long evening gown, and I’d had my hair done in the beauty shop again. I was beginning to like being treated this way. I was wearing the usual rings, bracelets, and a neckless. Gary and I had our last dance. And, the group received a standing ovation.
The last night on the ship, there was a big fair well party for all the passengers. And, it was a blast. The group ended up being talked into singing a song. There was dancing, Gary and I did dance some more. And, Abby and I even had a dance together, as did Katie and I. As the party started to break up, Gary grabbed my hand, and led me out onto the deck. The full moon was casting its light across the water, and something felt right. We stood there for a few minutes, just holding hands, and looking at the moon light on the water. Gary put his arm around me, I rested my head on his shoulder, and he said, “I’m really glad that I met you.”
“Me too.”, I replied.
“It’s been an almost perfect cruise.”
“The bad parts are over. And, the good parts are all that I’m going to remember.”
“What were the good things?”
“Just being on the ship. The group being received so well. Meeting you.”
We turned, and looked at each other. Our lips met in a quick kiss. We looked at each other again. And, again our lips met, but this time in a long, deep, kiss. We broke the kiss, and just stood there looking at the moon light. Why had I done that? Why had I kissed another guy?
“I’m going to miss you.”, Gary finally said.
“Me too.”
“I wish we lived closer.”
I just cuddled closer to him. We stood there for a long time, we saw the first hints of the sun rise, I realized that it was almost morning, and I had more packing to do. I said, “I’ve got to go. I’ve got so much packing to do.”
Gary looked at me, and kissed me again. And, I returned it. As he said, “Here’s my address. Please write me.”, he handed me a slip of paper.
I took the paper, smiled at him, and said, “I will. Bye.”
He wouldn’t let go of my hand. He pulled me back to him, and gave me another deep kiss. I finally pulled away from him, started walking away, turned, and blew him a kiss.
As I walked into the stateroom, Katie looked at me, and said, “Where have you been young lady?”
“Watching the sun rise.”
“With Gary? You kissed him, didn’t you?”
“Ah. . . . Yea. How did you know.”
“You little hussy. Your lipstick is a mess. I didn’t think you liked guys?”
“I don’t.”
“You kissed him.”
“I know. I don’t know why.”
“The passion of the moment? And, you were feeling feminine, weren’t you?”
“Maybe. Don’t tell?”
“Our secret, little sister.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ve got most of your things packed. We just need to pack that dress your wearing, and we’re done. I’ve laid out something for you to wear on the trip home.”
“Thanks sis.”
“You owe me.”
“Nothing compared to what you owe me.”, I said with a big grin.
We just made our flight back home. Then it hit me. I was tired. I hadn’t slept last night. I was sitting next to Abby, and it wasn’t long before I was sound asleep. I don’t even remember the plane taking off. It felt like only minutes later, when Abby was shaking me, and saying, “Hey sleepyhead. Wake up. We’ll be landing in five minutes.”
“Huh?”
“We’re almost home. You slept the whole time.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. You had a long night.”
Wait. How did Abby know about last night?
Mom met us just outside of security, with big hugs for all four of us. Her only question to me was, “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine mom. The rest of the time was so much fun. I’ve all but forgotten about it.”
Katie grinned at me.
Mom then said, “There’s someone that wanted to see all four of you as soon as you got back. Want to stop, and see Nan?”
Everyone got excited, and agreed that it would be a wonderful idea. We drove over to the hospital, and found Nan sitting in a wheelchair, in the hospital atrium. Everyone gave her hugs, and kisses. We sat, and talked for an hour. Filling her in on all the details. As we were leaving, she called me back, and whispered, “Girlfriend. Come back after you’re rested, and fill me in on everything. And, I mean everything.”
I smiled at her, and said, “Sure will.”
Mom dropped Abby and Pam off at their homes, and then took Katie and I home. We unloaded our stuff, took it to our rooms. I laid down on my bed, and was fast asleep in seconds.
The next thing I remember was my sister sitting on my bed, saying, “Hey. You want some supper? Mom ordered pizza, and it’ll be here in about ten minutes.”
We sat, and ate pizza like three girl friends. Mom, Katie, and I. Mom said, that she and Katie had a long talk about everything that happened on the cruise. I gave Katie a questioning glance, when mom said, ‘everything.’ Mom asked me about the Mark incident, and we discussed it for a while. Then I said, that I’d like to just drop the subject.
Later Katie and I were helping each other unpack some of our things. And, I said, “You told mom everything about the cruise?”
“You know better. Sisters always have secrets.”
“I should have guessed.”
“You get a chance to talk to Abby?”
“No. She seemed a little stand offish during the rest of the cruise. Except on the plane, when I used her shoulder for a pillow.”
“You still should talk to her.”
“I will.”
“Pam and Abby will be over tomorrow. Maybe you can get her alone for a while.”
“A practice already?”
“No. Just a girl’s get together. And, you’re invited.”
The following evening, the four of us got together again. We just sat around like four girlfriends, eating pizza, talking about the cruise, and everything that had happened. After awhile, I looked at Abby, and said, “Can I talk to you alone?”
“Sure. I guess.”, she replied.
I got up, and offered her my hand. She looked a little strange at me, but took it. Then she followed me out to the backyard, and we sat at the table. We sat there, and looked at each other for some time. Finally I said, “During the cruise you tried to tell me something. And, I’ve wondered about it since.”
Part 3
Abby and more . . .
“What?”
“You started to tell me that, you liked Mat. But, that you really liked Kyla. What were you trying to tell me?”
“I . . . I don’t know if I can now.”
“Why?”
“I saw you and Gary, on deck, the last night of the cruise.”
“What did you see?”
“You kiss him.”
“He doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t like guys.”
“But . . . “
“It was just a one time thing. Something that just happened. He was nice, almost as nice as you were, with the Mark thing. And, he saw me as a girl, wanted to kiss me, and I let him.”
“But, you’re a guy. I didn’t know you were gay.”
“I’m not gay. That night I was Kyla, completely Kyla. Heart and soul. And, I felt feminine. Very feminine. Something just felt right, and it just happened.”
“You’re still Kyla. You haven’t gone back to being Mat. Why?”
“Does it bother you?”
“No. After what you put Katie through making you Kyla, I just figured that you’d be back to Mat as quicky as you could.”
“I don’t know. It feels good. The clothes are soft, and comfortable. The heels are a bit much, but I got use to them. And, it was fun being treated like I was. Maybe I do have a feminine side. Now, what did you mean when you said. ‘I like Mat. But, I really like Kyla.’?”
“I’ve always liked you. In fact very much. But, seeing you as Kyla, and knowing that Mat was still somewhere under there, did something. When Mark hurt you, I wanted to kill him. But, I knew you needed comforting more. That’s why I stayed with you that night. I loved sitting there watching you sleep that night. When I saw you with Gary it hurt very much, and I figured that you were gay.”
“Well I’m not gay. That was a one time thing. I kind of liked it, but I don’t see me ever doing it again. But, why as Kyla?”
“I’m not sure. Other than . . . I saw your softer side. You were different when you became Kyla. At least I thought so. You seemed to be so . . . so vulnerable. So, soft. So, caring. And . . .”
“And?”
“And, someone that I could care for.”
“Even as Mat?”
“Yes.”
“But, you’d prefer my Kyla side?”
“Sometimes.”
“I’m sixteen. Four years younger than you are.”
“I know. But, you’ll be seventeen in three months. And, eighteen in fifteen months. I can wait.”
She knew when my birthday was.
I got up to go back into the house. And, as she got up, she took my hand, she pulled me toward her, while saying, “But, I can’t wait for this.” She pulled me close, and kissed me. Not a friendly kiss, but a passionate kiss. A lovers kiss. It felt really good, not like Gary’s kiss of a boy kissing a girl. But, soft, sensuous, a girl kissing a girl. I held her close. It felt good. I could really get use to this.
We walked back into the house, and to where Katie and Pam were. Katie looked at us with a big grin, and said, “You both had better not let mom see you.”
“Why?”, I asked.
“Both of you need to fix your lipsticks. You’re a mess.”
Abby and I looked at each other, laughed, and headed to the downstairs half-bath. It’s small, as we walked in, she grabbed me, and gave me another long kiss. Then said, “I just needed another one, before we freshened up.”
I smiled at her, and kissed her. And, said, “Me too.”
The next morning when I came down to breakfast, I was wearing a robe over my nightgown. Mom and Katie were already in the kitchen, and as we sat down, mom said, “When am I getting Mat back?”
“Ah . . . Soon. I want to go see Nan today. Maybe tonight.”
“Maybe?”
“Katie went to a lot of trouble to bring Kyla about. Why waste it.”
“Young man. You aren’t beginning to like this too much, are you?”
“It’s kind of nice.”
“There’s the other reason mom.”, Katie said, with a grin.
I glared at Katie.
Mom said, “And, what’s that?”
“There’s someone that likes him this way, other than himself.”
“Katie!”, I said.
“Matty. She would find out sooner or later.”
“Okay you two.”, mom said, “What’s going on? It’s not a guy is it?”
“No, mom. It’s not a guy.”, I said.
“Abby.”
“How did you . . . “
“Just watching you two last night for the short time that I saw you together. You couldn’t take your eyes off each other. Not to mention the body language.”
“Yes, Abby.”
“And, she likes you as Kyla?”
“Sometimes. She said, that it brought out my softer side. She likes me when I’m Mat. But, Kyla was just better somehow.”
“She’s what? Three, four years older than you are?”
“Really three years and a few months.”
“You be careful. People will get the wrong idea.”
“Yes, mom.”
Later on Katie and I went to see Nan. I was still Kyla, it would be awhile before the tan went away, and I’d need to get my hair cut. As we walked into Nan’s room, she was sitting in a chair, looking fairly good for someone that had come close to dying. She smiled, and said, “Hi, girlfriends.” We said, “Hi.”, and each gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Nan said, “Still Kyla I see?”
I smiled, and said, “Yea. Kind of feels good.”
“I was wondering. You put up a good fight in the beginning, but once everything was in motion you went along a little too easily. Are you over the Mark thing?”
“Almost. I still get jumpy when I see someone that looks like him.”
“That’ll happen for a while. I hear you got a real kiss from a guy.”
I looked at my sister, and said, “Don’t I have any secrets?”
“Not from me girlfriend.”, Nan replied.
“It just kind of happened. He was really nice to me, so it just happened.”
“Just happened. You were really feeling feminine. Weren’t you?”
“The kiss kind of made me tingle. But, guys aren’t my thing, and I really think it was a one time thing.”
Nan smiled, and said, “Could be. Now, girlfriend what about you and Abby?”
I looked at Katie again, and she said, “Not me.”
“Abby and I had a nice talk this morning. She spilled the beans.”
I said, “Wait till I see her.”
“Don’t be mad at her. She needed someone to talk to. You have Katie, and she doesn’t have anyone.”
“What did she say?”
“It’s a secret. Well, most of it. So, what’s with you and Abby?”
I told Nan about what happened on the cruise, and then what happened last night. Then Nan asked, “So, do you think it’s Mat she loves, or Kyla?”
“Loves?”
“That’s the word she used.”
“I don’t know right now. Maybe it’s a combination of the two. Or, maybe it’s just Kyla. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
“How do you feel?”
“I don’t know if I can put it into words yet. I’ve been around her a lot, and I do like her. It just feels good being with her. And, what I felt when I kissed Gary, was nothing to what I felt when I kissed Abby. I guess we are just going to have to see each other, and see what happens.”
“Remember what mom said about being careful.”, Katie said.
“I know.”
We sat visited Nan for a while longer. And, as we were leaving the hospital, I asked Katie, “How can we bring Mat back? I promised mom he’d be back tonight.”
“Easy.”
“How?”
“We go see Aba, she takes the curl out of your hair, and we tie it in a guys style pont tail. Remove your forms. And, Mat, with a tan, and dark hair, is back. Then later on, we can get your hair cut, and back to blond. And, the tan will wear off. . . . What’s wrong?”
She had seen the expression on my face change, to I guess one of sadness. I answered, “Nothing, I guess.”
“Matty. What?”
“I guess, I’ll miss Kyla. It was fun. And, I enjoyed it. I liked being a girl.”
“And?”
“Abby.”
“You’re afraid she won’t feel the same way about Mat, as she did Kyla. Aren’t you?”
“I keep going back to what she said on the ship. That she liked Mat, but really liked Kyla.”
“I know. I wonder about that myself.”
“But, I guess I’ve got to find out.”
“Love is a hard thing. And, if it’s love, she’ll love you for yourself, no matter if it’s Mat or Kyla.”
“I guess you’re right.”
Later that afternoon, Mat was somewhat back, but with dark hair and a tan. Mom was somewhat happy, but could still see a lot of Kyla. Both ears being pierced, feminine eyebrows, long fingernails, and some feminine mannerisms. Not to mention, I had forgotten to take out the brown contacts, and mom said, “Matty. Please go change your contacts. I want to see your blue eyes again. And, do something with the nails.”
“Sorry mom. I’ll be right back.”
That evening, Abby and I were going to get together, and I was worried. I was worried, that it was Kyla that Abby really liked, or should I say loved. Katie helped me remove the nail polish, and cut them to a somewhat shorter length. Then, as I was leaving she said, “Matty. Take it one step at a time. She’s seen, and been with, Kyla for the past few weeks, and now it’s Mat. Give her a chance to get use to Mat again.”
“I will sis. Thanks.” And, I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
I should have mentioned, that when Abby wasn’t singing with the group, she worked part time for a book shop. And, I was meeting her at the shop at six. I walked in, she looked up from the counter, and said, “Can I help y . . . Mat?”
“Hi.”
“I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“Yea. I’m almost back to my old self.”
With a little smile, she said, “I don’t think that will ever happen. I’ll be done in about fifteen minutes.”
“Okay. I’ll just look around.”
Awhile later, she walked up to me, took my arm, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said, “I’m ready to go.”
I looked at her, and we just smiled at each other. Then she said, “I’m starved. How about going to a little place that I know of, getting a bite to eat, and just talking.”
“Sounds good to me.”
It wasn’t much later, that we were in front of her apartment building, and she was getting out her keys. I said, “I thought we were going some place to get something to eat.”
“We are.”
“But, it’s your apartment.”
“Don’t think I can cook?”
“No. I mean yes. But, . . . I just don’t want you getting into trouble.”
“Why would I get into trouble?”
“You’re older than I am. And, I’m under age.”
“Matty. I’d never do anything to hurt you, or our relationship.”
“I know. But . . . “
“Honey. It’ll be fine.”
I thought, ‘Honey? Now that’s interesting.’ Then, I said, “Okay. I guess.”
We went into the building, and up to her second floor apartment. I’d never been here before, and she had it decorated very nicely. Of course, it was very feminine. She closed the door, looked at me, and kissed me. Of course, I just melted in her arms. “That was just to say hello.”, she said.
“Hello.”
“Can I do something?”, she asked.
“Depends.”
She reached behind my head, and undid what was holding my pony tail. She then, using her hands, straightened my hair out. And, said, “Feel better?”
“Sure does.”
“Come help me cook.”
A little while later, we were sitting down to a very nice meal. She can cook. While we ate, we just chatted about nothing in particular. I helped her with the dishes, and in cleaning up the kitchen. Afterwards we went into the livingroom, and sat together on the couch. She at one end, me at the other.
“Matty.”, she said. “I wanted you to come here tonight, so that we could just be alone, and talk. I’ve had a lot on my mind since the cruise. And, there are some things that I just have to tell you.”
“Okay.”
“Back when I told you that I liked Mat, but really liked Kyla. What I was really feeling, was love for you. Not Kyla, and not Mat. But, for both of you. The two of you combined. For who you really are. Kyla brought out something in you that I’d never seen in a guy before. A soft side. A caring side. A guy not afraid to show his feminine side. Not afraid to cry. I’ve always liked you, ever since I first met you. To start with, you were the typical annoying little brother of a friend. But, as you got older, you became a friend. Someone who I enjoyed being around. It was fun having you at the rehearsals. You added a lot. You had some great comments, and ideas on how to improve the group.
“When your sister came up with the idea of you taking Nan’s place, I thought she was nuts. But, watching you transform from Mat to Kyla was a learning experience for me. You fit right into the group when you finally relaxed. You could make your voice sound like a girls. And, your look was so feminine. It was fun seeing a boy learn to be a girl.
“When Mark did what he did. It tore at my heart, seeing you hurt that way. I just wanted to hold you, and you let me. I felt you relax in my arms. You apparently felt safe there.
“But, when I saw you kiss Gary, I was heart broken. I figured you were gay. But, after talking to Nan and Katie, I think you were just experimenting with your sexuality. And, you’re happy with who you are.”
We sat there, and just looked at each other for a few minutes. She then moved closer, and laid down with her head on my lap. I held one of her hands with mine, and stroked her hair with the other. This felt so good.
“Abby.”, I finally said, “I had no idea that you felt this way. I’ve always enjoyed being around you. And, on the cruise, when you held me, it just felt so good. I did feel secure in your arms, and that help me relax. And, Gary was just one of those things. And, I know one thing, it won’t happen again. I felt something the other night when I held you, something that I’ve never felt before. And, just sitting here with you, feels so good. Also, I’ll be whoever makes you happy. Mat, Kyla, or who ever. Because making you happy, will make me happy.”
We sat there in silence again for a few minutes, and I finally asked Abby, “Where do you see this going?”
“Matty. It will go wherever we want it to.”
“You’re not afraid to be seen with a younger guy?”
“No. In fact I’m very happy to be with a younger man. You don’t mind an older woman do you?”
“No way. I don’t look at you as an older woman. Just someone that I love being with.”
“Matty.”, Abby said, sitting up a little, and looking at me, “I know that this may be a little premature, but it’s how I feel. I love you.”
I smiled at her, whispered, “Abby. I love you, too.”, and then kissed her. She sat up more, and we just held each other.
That night when I got home, Katie saw me, and said, “It looks like you had a good time.”
“Huh?”
“The look on your face tells the whole story.”
“What story?”
“You and Abby came to an understanding tonight. Didn’t you?”
“Yea. Sort of.”
“Sort of? Your hair’s no longer in a pony tail. You have lipstick all over your face. And, you’re smiling for no apparent reason. But, there’s always a reason.”
“Abby and I did come to an understanding. We decided our relationship will go wherever we want it to go.”
“And, will it be Mat, or Kyla?”
“It’ll be whoever we want it to be.”
“I’ll bet you that she told you something else.”
“That’s our secret. And, remember how you owed me big time for the gig?”
“Yes.”
“Paid in full.”
I continued sitting in with the group, and singing as the fourth girl. Mom still gave me her famous, ‘I don’t like what you’re doing. But, it’s your life.’ look. Abby and I went out almost every night after practice. Sometimes, it was just for something to drink. Sometimes, it was just for a walk. We also went to movies, swimming, and did other things couples do. And, I never did got my hair cut, I think Abby liked it long, but Aba did turn me back into a blond.
Two weeks after the talk that Abby and I had, Pam and Abby arrived for practice. And, Katie, who had been acting a little stranger than usual, said, “Guys, I’ve got some news.”
We all just looked at her, and she said, “First, Nan’s getting out of the hospital at the end of the week.”
We all got excited with this news.
“And,”, Katie continued, “she’s going to be staying here for a few weeks, until she can get around on her own.”
My only comment was “Cool!”
“And, that’s not all.”, Katie said, “We have another gig. It’s with the same cruise line, but a bigger ship, and with the guys from The LDG Band will also be there.”
I looked at Abby, she looked at me, we both looked at Katie, and I said, “Nan’s not going to be ready to do this gig. Is she?”
“I know. We need Kyla again.”, Katie said.
“No way. Not again.”
Abby took my hand, and whispered, “Why?”
I whispered back, “Gary.”
She looked at me a little puzzled, and asked, “What’s with Gary?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
She didn’t say a word, but got up, took my hand, led me out of the room, and into the backyard.
“All right. It’s later. What’s with Gary?”, she asked.
“When I last saw him on the ship, I told him that I’d write him, and I never have.”
“So.”
“I think I owe him an explanation.”
“Why?”
“To be fair to him.”
“Why?”
“I figured that I’d never see him again, when we left the ship, and I think he felt he had a chance with Nan. He saw us walking on the deck that one day, and asked if we were lovers. And, I told him no. I think I should tell him that he was right, that you and I are an item. And, that I’m sorry for leading him on.”
“So, you’re worried about seeing him again. Are you afraid that you’re going to fall for him?”
“Abby! No way. You know, you are the only one in my life.”
“So, why write him. Why not just tell him to his face?”
“I . . . I . . . I don’t think I can face him if he doesn’t know. I just want him to know ahead of time, if I decide to do this gig.”
“If you decide to do this gig? We need you.”
“I know.”
“Please do it. I do understand your need to tell Gary. And, I agree, it would be better if you do it in advance. I was just worried.”
“Worried, that I still like him?”
“Yes.”
“Abby. I like him. But, as a performer, and a person. I love you. And, only you.”
She kissed me. And, I asked, “Will you help me write the letter?”
“If you want me to.”
“I’d like you to write it for me. I don’t think my handwriting is very feminine. But, I think I know what to say.”
We walked back into the practice room. Pam and Katie looked at us, and Katie asked, “Is everything all right?”
With a smile, Abby said, “Yes. I just need to persuade Kyla to come on the cruise with us.”
“You’ll do it?”, Katie asked me.
“Yes. As long as, mom doesn’t get mad.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to her.”
Mom wasn’t happy with her son becoming her daughter again. But, she understood. And, it wasn’t long before I was back seeing Mary Ann getting waxed and tanned, seeing Aba getting my hair done, and Penny getting my nails done. Then of course there was the brown contacts, the breast forms, and the special panties. Aba dyed my hair mahogany brown again, then did my hair in small tight braids with beads. It hurt a bit while she was doing it. But, it looked fantastic when she was done. Kyla was back, and it was almost too easy.
Abby and I sat down, and wrote Gary a nice letter explaining the relationship between Nan and Abby. And, that I was really sorry that I had led him on during the cruise. Abby had me add, that I really liked him as a person, and that I hoped that we could still be friends. I almost had her sign it Kyla, instead of Nan.
We continued doing things as a couple, but a girl and girl couple. Abby was different, but in a nice way. She treated me like a girl. And, our necking was like two girls. Soft and sensuous. We were careful to never go father than heaving necking, and it was hard on both of us. It became very interesting when Abby started teaching me how to do my own makeup. She showed me everything from a day time look, to a really glamorous night time look. I never realized that there was so much to it. We also went shopping, after she said that I had to stop borrowing Nan’s, Katie’s and her clothes, and get my own. I think we broke the bank that day. As we carried my new things into the house, my mom saw us, and just shook her head.
One of our favorite things to do, was to go swimming, and Abby wanted to go. I wasn’t too sure about going swimming as a girl. I didn’t have a girl’s swim suit. And, I knew being topless, as a girl, at the lake wouldn’t be taken to kindly by the management. So, Abby took me shopping for a girl’s swim suit. We looked at one piece suits, two piece suits, and bikinis. Abby loved the bikinis, but I told her that they probably won’t work. The top wasn’t the problem, but the special pantie would show. The one piece suits were really nice. But, I found a two piece that I fell in love with. The top was a halter style, and tied behind my back, and neck. The bottoms covered the special panties just perfectly. And, I had to get a swim cap to protect my hair.
We went back to her place to change before going to the lake, and before I knew it, we were both in her bedroom changing. She changed in front of me just like I was really a girl, and seeing her naked body for the first time was, to say the least, mesmerizing. As I looked at her, I said, “Uh. Abby?”
“Yea?”
“Uh. I’m still Mat under all of this.”
“Oh. . . . Yea. . . . Right. Oh well. Ah. . . . I forgot. I guess it’s too late.”
“Right. Too late.”
“You’re complaining girlfriend?”
“No.”
Swimming with the breast forms, and panties was interesting. Then the two of us drew the attention of a couple of guys, and they started walking in our direction. Abby thought quickly, grabbed me, and gave me a very deep passionate kiss. I watched the guys out of the corner of my eye, they stopped, watched us, finally turned, and walked away. I figured that Abby would break the kiss as soon as the guys were gone, but no way. She was into this kiss, and it lasted a long time. Longer than any other.
“Wow. Where did that come from?”, I was finally able to say when she came up for air.
“From the heart, lover.”
“I guess.”
Even though I was starting to build a collection of girls clothes, we again raided Nan’s closet, but this time with Abby’s help. Her selection of clothes was much better than mine. At least so far. We grabbed more cute outfits, including the low cut gold dress. Another dozen pairs of shoes. And, more jewelry. As we were lugging the items to the car, Abby’s only comment was, “Girlfriend. You need to get more of your own clothes.”
With a grin, I said, “You’ve already started working on it.”
Two days later we were boarding the cruise ship. And, I was nervous. Not about being Kyla again, but about seeing Gary. I was hoping that he had taken what I wrote as it was meant. Katie and I were sharing one stateroom, and Pam and Abby another. Mom’s orders. But, I figured that Abby and I would have our time alone.
The first night out, they had the usual big welcoming party. And, it was packed. The four of us hung together, and I looked for Gary. And, it wasn’t too long before we saw each other. He, smiled, walked over to where the four of us were standing, and gave each of us a kiss on the cheek. We all talked for a little while, and he finally got me aside, and said, “I wanted you to know, that I’m not upset. I’m just glad that you wrote, and told me about you and Abby.”
“Thanks. I was so worried that you’d be upset. I like you, and I’m really sorry that I wasn’t up front with you.”
“It’s not a problem. Do you mind if I still dance with you?”
“No. That would be fun.”
That went easier than I thought it would. Abby looked at me, I just smiled, and she smiled back.
This whole gig went fantastically. We performed to a full house every night. As I’d said earlier, Pam had written most of our original stuff. But, we also had other favorites that we did.
The third evening just before dinner, I saw Karen and Gary talking to the Cruise Director, and as they walked back to our little group, they both had very big grins. They sat down with us, Gary looked at Karen, and said, “Ladies before gentlemen.”
Karen was looking happier than I’ve ever seen her, and she said, “How would you guys like to do this on a regular basis?”
Pam said, “You mean the cruise gig?”
“Yea. They like us so much, that they want us on a regular basis. All of us, the guys and the girls. They’re impressed with the way we work together.”
There was clapping, and squeals of joy. The reaction of the nine of us was nothing but pure excitement. This was the break that both groups were looking for. And, we found a room where we could celebrate in private, and Katie and Gary could give us all the details.
Katie told us that we would go on a cruise every other week. This would give us time to work on other projects. And, the money would be very nice. Then she said, “I explained something to the Cruise Director and Gary earlier today, and it’s only fair to share it with everyone. The girls know this, but the guys doesn’t. Nan here isn’t Nan.”
I thought, ‘Oh God! She didn’t tell them I was Mat.’ I looked at her with a look of worry, and puzzlement. And, everyone was looking at me.
Katie went on, “Just before our first cruise together, the real Nan was involved in a car crash. And, it put her in the hospital for a while. Right now she’s at my mother’s house finishing getting well. So, we needed a fourth to fill in for her, or we would have had to have cancelled the gig. This is really Kyla, Nan’s cousin.”
I felt a great deal of relief.
Katie continued, “We were lucky that her cousin’s singing voice was very close to Nan’s. And, that she could come with us. The Cruise Director didn’t have a problem with it, as the contract only mentioned four girls, and no names. And, she thought it was some fast thinking on our part.”
Gary added, “From what Katie told me, the real Nan will be joining us in a few weeks. And, unfortunately Kyla will not be able to be with us much longer. She has other things to do. Now, lets go back out and finish dinner.”
After dinner, Katie and I went back to our stateroom. After I closed the door, I said, “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“Sorry. But, with Nan joining us, I had to come up with some kind of story.”, Katie replied.
“I figured that you were going to tell them I was Mat.”
“Sis, I’d never do that to you. And, Gary told me that he took your letter very well. He was disappointed that you and Abby were lovers. But, he understood.”
“I know. We had a little talk. And, it was his idea to still dance during your solos.”
“Great.”
“Now. Just what other things do I have to do?”
“My little brother has to finish his senior year in high school.”
“Hmm. I’m your little sister right now. And, it looks like it’ll be that way until Nan can join you.”
“You’re right. Abby’s going to be happy.”
“Huh?”
“I think she really likes your feminine side!”
“Yea. I think she does.”
“Too much?”
“Not as far as I’m concerned.”
Katie just smiled. And, I asked, “Ah. What about mom?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. And, I’m not telling Nan or mom until we get home.”
When we did get back home. We were sitting down to dinner with mom and Nan. Katie gave me sly smile, and said, “I’ve got some news for you guys.”
“Good news?”, mom asked.
“Oh. Kyla and I think so. Don’t we sis?”
“We sure do.”
“We’ve got a contract to do regular gig’s for the cruise line.”
Nan’s eye’s got as big as saucers. Mom sat back in her chair, and said, “Girls I’m so happy for you. You’ve worked for this for so long.”
Nan was finally able to say, “Katie. That is so fantastic. It makes me feel even better. Wow! A full time gig on a cruise ship.”
Mom finally looked at me, and said, “And, how much longer are you going to be a girl?”
I looked at Katie, then back at mom, and said, “I guess until Nan is well enough to join the group.”
“And, no longer?”
“Maybe. I guess.”
“What about Abby?”
“What about Abby?”
“Are you two still an item?”
“Yes.”
“She still likes your feminine side?”
“Yes.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I guess stay Kyla for as long as Katie needs me.”
“Afterwards?”
“I . . . I don’t know right now.”
“Matty. It’s your life. Just finish school.”
“I will mom.”
A little while later, Katie and Nan found me in my room. Katie sat on my bed, and Nan on my desk chair. I looked at them, and said, “What’s up guys.”
“Not much. It’s that Nan feels that you might need to do the next two cruises, maybe a third. She doing really well with her physical therapy, and thinks they might cut her loose in three or four weeks. The doctors are real happy with her progress, and she’ll know more after her next appointment. Are you willing to stay as Kyla for another four or six weeks?”
“No problem.”
Nan looked at Katie, and said, “I told you he’d jump at it. There was no hesitation in that answer.”
“I know. I think he really likes being a girl.”, Katie replied.
“Yea. Almost too much. And, he does make a very pretty girl.”
“Hey, you two.”, I said, “What are you up too.”
“It’s just that you do make a pretty girl. And, you do it very easily. It’s like it’s who you really are.”, Nan said.
“So? I have two sides.”
“Yea. But, they’re becoming one. And, with the female side being the strongest, she’s winning control.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Look at yourself. You enjoy everything female. Do you want to become a girl?”
“What do you mean?”
“Breasts. A vagina.”
“Surgery. No! I’m happy with who I am. Why the second degree?”
“We just wanted to be sure you were happy with yourself.”
“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be doing it.”
“Good. Cause, guess what?”
“What?”
“We really want to add a fifth to the group.”
“A fifth!”
“We’ve talked it over, and feel that we need a fifth. It would help balance us with the guys.”
“Who?”
“You, girlfriend.”, Nan said, “You helped make this group. You’ve added a lot to it. And, both Pam and Abby agree. We wanted to be sure that you’d be happy looking like a girl for a long time.”
“You’re serious.”, I replied
“Yes.”, Katie said, “Very serious. The only thing is, we need you to look more like your old self, than Kyla. We need you to become a blue eyed, blond, again. Want to do it?”
“Yea. But, . . . what about the relationship between Abby and Kyla?”
“Oh. Yea. I hadn’t thought about that.”
“We can probably come up with a story of some sort.”, Nan said.
“Okay. What about mom?”, I asked.
“That I’ve thought about. She knows that you’ve taken to being feminine, and love it. I don’t think anything would surprise her right now. I’ll talk with her, and see how she reacts.”
“What about finishing school? I promised her.”
“Hmm. Home schooling. How many more credits do you need to graduate?”
“Seven. I was going to take five of them this fall, and go part time spring to get the other two.”
“I think I know someone. Remember Sally, who got in trouble with Jimmy?”
“Yea.”
“She’s a teacher now. And, I bet she would be willing to tutor you. I’ll find out.”
The next two cruises went along just about like the first two. My dancing had improved, thanks to the other girls. My wardrobe was rapidly growing, dresses, two piece outfits, bra and panty sets, shoes, earrings, and other jewelry. No more raiding Nan’s closet. I had to use the closet in the spare bedroom at home for my guy clothes. And, all of this thanks to my sister, Nan, and Abby. Was I complaining? No.
Now, the third cruise was interesting. Nan went with us. And, she actually sang a few numbers, giving us a feel as to how a group of five would sound, and be received. And, it was great. So, it looked like Kyla had to disappear, to make room for Nan, and the new girl had to make an appearance. This was getting complicated.
After we got back home, everyone was excited about Nan finally being back with the group. But, mom was having second thoughts about me pretending to be another girl. She didn’t want to see her only son as a girl any longer. Katie, Nan, and I sat down with her, and had a long talk about the group, and me as a girl. And, when I finally said, “Mom. I love being a girl, at least as much of a girl as I can be. I’ve found someone that can love me that way, and I love her. And, I really want to do this. I love singing with the group.”
She wasn’t completely happy, but finally gave us her blessing. And, told us that no matter what, she loved us. All of five of us girls. Though she asked me, what I’ve found out is the usual question that is asked of people coming out as either a crossdresser or transgendered, did I want to become a girl? My answer was, no.
Now, the fun started. We had to turn me into a blond, blue eyed, girl, with no hint of Kyla. The blue eyes were easy, take out the brown contacts. And, no more tanning sessions, but the body waxing continued. We went back to Aba for the hair. She started by cutting my hair into a shorter style, and turning me back into a blond. Penny redid my nails. And, Viv showed us some really good makeup ideas for a blond, and changed my eyebrows to almost pencil thin.
When the tanning had completely worn off, we went, and visited Tom again. We sat, talked with him for a little while, and we decided on smaller breasts. So, he fitted me with forms that were so close to my natural skin color, that it was amazing. He also came up with the special panties in the right color. Then as we were leaving, he said, “You know. . . . No. You wouldn’t do that.”
“What?”, I asked.
“Well. You would look so good, if your lips were fuller, pouty. Kind of a sexy thing.”
“How?”
“Well. The best way is with collagen injections.”
“Injections?”
“Yes. Done by a doctor.”
“I don’t like needles.”
“Just think about it. Here’s a business card for a doctor, a plastic surgeon, that does it, and does nice work.”
I took the card, and put it in my purse. On the way home, Abby said, “Oh. Nice, pouty, kissable, lips. You’d look so sexy.”
“Quit kidding around. I don’t need anything like that.”
After we got my new look completely put together, I stood there, and looked at myself for a long time. Finally I turned to Katie and Abby, and said, “Something just isn’t right.”
They both looked at me for a while, Katie whispered something to Abby, and Abby nodded her head yes.
“What?”, I asked.
“There is still too much Kyla there.”, Abby said.
“Too much Kyla?”
“Yea. The hair, and eyes are great. But, the face is still Kyla. Same nose, same lips, just the same face, but now a white girl.”
“So. The chance that the passengers on the ship have seen Kyla before is slim.”
Katie said, “How about the crew, and the guys in the band.”
“Oh. . . . Yea. I hadn’t thought about them.”
“The crew might not be a problem. They change all the time. But, the band is another thing.”
Katie saw the tears well up in my eyes, and said, “Now. Now. None of that little sister. We’ll figure out something.”
“Yea! What? Tell the guys in the band that I’m really Mat, pretended to be Kyla and Nan, now I’m pretending to be some blond bimbo.”
“Matty!”, Abby said, “I don’t want to hear any more talk like that. You did this to help your sister, and the group. And, it worked. For whatever reason, you’ve taken to being a girl, and want to continue looking like one. And, there’s nothing wrong with that. The people that love you know, and they support you completely. I just happen to love you very much. And, I don’t like seeing you come down on yourself.”
I looked at her, said, “I’m sorry.”, and started crying.
Abby walked over, and held me. She whispered, “Matty. It’s going to be fine. We’ll work something out.”
“I’m just going back to being Mat. It was so much easier.”
“Matty.”, she whispered, “We’ll do what you want to do. It’s up to you.”
Two weeks later, it was coming up on my seventeenth birthday, and the girls had just come back from a cruise. Mom was happy. I wasn’t. I’d been Mat for those two weeks. I had been in the dumps when they had left, but was even more depressed when they got back, and Abby picked up on it right away. She talked with Katie and Nan, and then they talked with mom. And, it wasn’t long before Pam was even here. I was just sitting in my room, depressed, and thinking.
It wasn’t long before there was a gentle knock on my door. I said, “Yea.”
“Can I come in?” It was Abby.
“Sure.”
The door opened, Abby walked in, and closed the door behind her. She stood there, and finally said, “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Can we talk?”
“Sure.”
She walked over, sat next to me on my bed, and said, “You know that we all love you. Don’t you?”
“Yea.”
“And, you know that we all know that you’re down in the dumps, and that it’s getting worse. And, we hate seeing you like this.”
“Yea.”
“What’s it going to take to get you out of the dumps?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do?”
I looked at Abby, smiled a little, and said, “To be with you all the time.”
Abby smiled at me, shook her head a little, and said, “You’re so sweet. I think that’s why I love you so much. But, there’s something else that you want. Isn’t there? Something that you thought you could put aside, but can’t.”
“You know there is.”
“You just want to sing with the group again. Right?”
I just nodded my head yes.
“And, to do that, you need to be a girl. Right?”
I just looked at her.
“And, you really want to be that girl. Don’t you?”
I nodded yes again.
“Well,”, she continued, “we all had a long talk, and agreed that you should get your wish for your birthday.”
I just looked at her, with a questioning look.
She went on, “First. There is a great day spa over in Troy. And, we’re going to give you a day there. Nan came through again, she called them, and explained the whole thing to them. And, they said that they would be happy to help.”
“You . . . You mean. She told them I’m a guy that want’s to look like a girl?”
“Yea.”
“And, they didn’t have a problem with it?”
“Not at all. In fact they told her that they have a few male clients who do this.”
“Oh.”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
“Honey. You’ll love it. They’ll give you the full treatment. And, when you walk out, you’ll look and feel like a new girl.”
I felt something, kind of a warm feeling. And, I said, “You think?”
“Honey. You’ll love it.”
“All right. When?”
“Day after tomorrow.”
“That quick. What’s second?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why?”
“It’s a secret.”, Abby said, as she walked out the door. But, she turned looked at me, smiled, and said “Come on down, and join us. We miss you.”
Two days later, I was dressed in jeans, a blouse, and a pair of trainers. I had kept my hair the length that Aba had made it, and was able to get it into somewhat of a feminine look. I had a little bit of makeup on. I was also wearing the special panties, and my forms. Abby and Katie drove me over to the spa, and walked in with me. Katie had a small suitcase, and a garment bag, but wouldn’t let me see what was in them. They sat with me in the waiting room, until someone came to greet us.
She introduced herself, “Hi. I’m Nancy. I’ll be your host for today, and will be taking care of all your needs.”
Katie said, “Hi. I’m Katie, this is Abby, and this is Kyla. She’s your client for today.”
Then, as Katie handed Nancy the case and garment bag that she had brought, she said, “Honey, we’ll see you in a few hours, and you’ll feel fantastic.”
“Not to mention, you’ll look like a million dollars.”, Abby added.
“You’re not staying?”, I asked.
“No. Nancy will take good care of you.”
Katie and Abby both gave me a kiss, and left.
Nancy said, “Come on with me Kyla, and we’ll get you started. And, you must have some really great friends. They’ve scheduled you for almost everything. We’re going to be doing a deep Swedish massage, a full body waxing, an aroma therapy body wrap, a manicure and pedicure, a full facial, cut and style your hair, and of course your makeup. And, we’ll provide lunch.”
My head was swimming.
Nancy took me to a very nice dressing room, and then told me, “Completely undress, including your breast forms. Just leave your panties on. You’ll find a robe and slippers in there, put them on. Then come back out, and we’ll get started.”
The next few hours were a blur. I did know that I was enjoying every little bit of this. And, talk about relaxing, I feel asleep during the body wrap. Nancy told me that it happens all the time. Each of the girls that worked on me was fantastic, and treated me like a lady. Even though they knew I wasn’t. Lunch was fantastic, and all low calorie things.
Sometime in the afternoon, after almost everything was done, Nancy walked in with another woman, and introduced her. Nancy said, “This is Dr. Faith Newsome. She’s a plastic surgeon, and is on our staff for consultations. Your friends had said that you might be interested in some work.”
I just looked at them.
“Your friends also said,” Nancy continued, “that you might be surprised with this. So, just let Dr. Faith have a look, and then you can talk.”
I sat there, and let the doctor look at my face. She didn’t say much, but smiled the whole time. When she was done, she said, “Well, I can see a few things that we could do to make you look prettier than you already are. I heard that someone has suggested collagen injections in your lips, and I’d suggest that also. But, I’d also suggest a little work on your nose, to make it smaller. And, some cheek implants to give you higher cheekbones. Other than that, you have a very feminine face, and I wouldn’t change another thing. Any questions?”
All I could do was shake my head no.
“Here’s my card.”, she said, handing me her business card, “If you have any questions.” And, she left.
Nancy asked, “You didn’t know she was coming in did you?”
“No. It was a complete surprise.”
“I wish I had friends like yours.”
“They really are great, aren’t they.”
“Yes. Now, the last thing we need to do, is attach your forms. And, then you can get dressed, and see how you look.”
She was right, I had no idea what I looked liked. There were no mirrors where I’d been, except in my dressing room. Nancy tilted the chair back, and carefully glued my forms in place. After the glue set, she applied some makeup around the edges. She’d done this before. Then she took me back to my dressing room, and said, “You’ll find your clothes in the closet, your undergarments are on the dresser, and the clothes you wore in, are in your case. Come on back out when you’re dressed.”
I walked into the room, over to the dresser, and looked in the mirror. I just stared for a long time, my feminine side was back, and was she ever. They had done a better job than anyone else ever had. I looked around the room, and found the bra and pantie set. They were red satin. The bra was a demi cup, and when I put it on, it barely covered the nipples on the forms. The panties were high cut, with lots of lace.
I looked in the closet, and found a very pretty lined, dark red, leather skirt and jacket set, with a red camisole top. Sitting on the floor was a pair of knee-high black suede boots, with three inch clunkey heels. I carefully got myself dressed, and slipped on the boots. It felt fantastic. On the dressing table was a box that just said “Kyla” on top. I opened it, and inside was jewelry, a half dozen rings, a gorgeous pair of dangly earrings, and a great choker style neckless. I put everything on, looked in the mirror, and smiled. There was a knock on the door. I said, “Come on in.”
The door opened, Nancy walked in, and said, “Your friends are here. And, they were right.”
“Right about?”
“That you do make a very pretty girl.”
“Thank you.”, I said, with a shy smile.
“You even sound like a girl.”
“Thanks. My voice has never changed.”
We walked out to the waiting room, and Katie, Abby, Nan, and Pam were there with very broad smiles. And, all were very nicely dressed.
Katie said, “Hi sis. It’s good to see you back.”
Abby said, “Girlfriend. You look fantastic.”
I walked over to each one, gave them hugs, and a kiss on the cheek.
Pam said, “It’s really nice to see you back with us. I missed you.”
Nan said, “Girlfriend. You look fantastic. Welcome back.”
Katie said, “Sis. This is really you.”
Abby said, “I love you. You look so great. Do I have my girl back?”
I whispered to Abby, “I love you so much. You are just so fantastic. Yes. I’m back.”
I turned to Nancy, hugged her, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and said, “Thank you so much. You did such a fantastic job.”
She said, “It was a pleasure. You were easy to work with. Be sure to come back, and see us.”
“I will.”
As we were getting into the car, I asked, “Why so dressed up?”
Katie said, “There are some great upscale places to shop around here, and also a great restaurant that we’re taking you to for your coming out party.”
“Coming out party?”
“We just thought that you’d like to celebrate Kyla being back.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon hitting some very upscale shops. No one bought anything, but we had a great time shopping as five girlfriends. And, there were some very cute things, I think Abby and I will be back. We ended up at the Fireside Restaurant at about seven. We walked in and Katie told the mater ‘d, we were the Linton party. He said, “Yes, Miss. The rest of your party is already here. Please follow me.”
I looked questioningly at Katie, and thought, ‘The rest of our party.’
She smiled, and said, “You’ll see.”
We walked into one of the rooms of the restaurant, and there was mom sitting at a table for six. She saw us walk in, and stood up. Looking at me, she smiled, and said, “Oh my. Kyla. You look so very pretty.”
“Thanks, mom.”, I said, as I gave her a hug, and kiss.
We sat, and had a before dinner glass of wine. I was still underage, but we had always had a glass of wine at home when we had a big dinner. We chatted about many things, including my day at the spa. Finally, I looked at my mother, and asked, “Mom. Are you really all right with this? I mean you always said, ‘When am I getting my son back?’”
“Honey.”, she replied, “The girls got me to see how unhappy and depressed you really were. Abby told me, that between the time they left on the last cruise, and got back, that your depression had gotten very bad. They helped me see that you were really more comfortable when you were a girl. So, we got together, and came up with a plan to bring Kyla back. But, you’re not Kyla any longer.”
Abby said, “Honey. We were so worried about you. I had found that Mat was almost someone from the past, and your feminine side wanted out. The spa was the beginning.”
“That was so great.”, I said, “But, not looking a gift horse in the mouth. That had to be expensive.”
“Sis.”, Katie said, “The group is doing very well. And, you helped bring that about. And, it was the least we could do for you.”
“You guys are just so wonderful.”
“There’s more.”
“More?”
“Yea. On this last cruise, there was a record producer, and he wants us to try and make a CD. But, without the guys.”
“You’re kidding! That’s wonderful. But, without Gary, and the group.”
“No kidding. Yea. They want just the girls. But, Gary has already told me that his group was having some problems with a couple of the guys, and he didn’t think that they would be together much longer. But, we still want our fifth voice.”
“That’s sad about Gary’s group. But, what about me still looking so much like Kyla?”
“Why do you think Dr. Newsome stopped in to see you at the spa.”
“You mean, plastic surgery?”
“Yes.”
I looked at my mother, and just said, “Mom?”
“Honey.”, she replied, “Will it make you happy?”
“Ah . . . Yes.”
“Then it will make me happy.”
I looked back at Abby, and she just smiled. I then looked at Katie, and asked, “Who’s paying for this?”
“You are.”, Katie replied.
“Me. I don’t have any money.”
“Yes you do. Your cut from the group.”
“But, I thought we spent all of that on the spa and the clothes.”
“No. The spa, and the leather outfit, are your birthday gifts from all of us. And, I think that this is also another kind of birthday.”
“Another kind of birthday?”
“Yes. The birth of your feminine self.”
I sat back, looked at the five of them, and I got tears in my eyes.
Nan, who had been very quiet until now, said, “Kyla. I know those are tears of happiness. And, you’re more than entitled to them. You’ve come a long way, and it’s been an amazing trip. A few months ago, I would have never believed that Mat the boy could become such a pretty woman.”
Everyone nodded, and smiled in agreement. Including my mom.
“Now.”, Katie said, “We have one more problem.”
I looked at her, and said, “Problem?”
“Yes. Kyla was a dark eyed, dark haired, dark skinned, girl. You are a blue eyed, blond haired, light skinned, girl. You need a new name.”
Nan grinned, and said, “All right ladies. What’s this blond bombshell’s name going to be?”
I looked at Nan, and grinned.
Mom said, “Can I make a suggestion?”
“Sure mom.”, Katie said, “You gave him the name Matthew.”
“Well. We’ve always called him Mat or Matty. I was thinking that something along those lines might be good. I know he, sorry she, won’t like Madeline. But, I think the nickname fits, and is very close to Matty.”
“What?”, I asked.
“Maddie. I know it sounds like a boy’s nickname. But, I think it kind of fits.”
“Maddie. Hmm”
Katie said, “I kind of like it.”
Abby smiled, and said, “Maddie. That’s nice. It fits her personality.”
Pam, with a grin, said, “Hi Maddie. It’s nice to meet you.”
Nan said, “Happy birthday, Madeline.”
I looked at my mom, and asked, “Mom. I’ve got to ask one more time. Are you really all right with this?”
With a smile, she said, “Yes, honey, I am. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. You are who you are, and you’re Maddie”
As we were leaving, I gave each one of them a really big hug, and kiss. And, thanked them for everything that they had done. I was walking on air.
I went back to Abby’s, with her and Katie. As we walked in the door, I grabbed my sister, and gave her another big hug, and said, “Sis. This was just such a fantastic day. I couldn’t have wished for anything better. I love you.”
“Maddie. I loved doing this for you. You seem so much happier.”
I then turned to Abby, and just looked at her for a few seconds, then grabbed her, and gave her a very deep kiss. Then I said, “Abby, I love you so very much.”
“Maddie.”, Abby said, “I just love to see you this happy. And, I love you too.”
“Do you two want to be alone?”, Katie asked.
Abby looked over my shoulder at Katie, and said, “Sorry. We didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
With a grin, Katie said, “No problem you two. I guess I’d better get use to seeing two girls in clinches like that.”
“You got it sis.”, I replied.
Two weeks later I was waking up in Dr. Newsome’s clinic. As I was waking up, I saw my mom, sister, and Abby standing next to my bed. Abby smiled, and said, “Hi love.”
“You did great, honey.”, mom said, “Dr. Newsome told us that everything went just fine. And, you’ll be able to go home later today.”
Abby bent down, and whispered, “I can’t wait to kiss those sexy, pouty, lips of yours.”
I tried to smile, but it hurt too much. Dr. Newsome had worked on my nose, and cheeks, and given me collagen injections in my lips. As I was being released, she told me that I’d be sore for a while, with some swelling, and bruising, but that it should be minimal. She gave me a few pain killers, and also said to make an appointment in a week for a checkup.
The week of my appointment with Dr. Newsom, the girls were on a cruise. Hopefully the last one without me. The doctor examined me, and was very happy. The swelling was all but gone, and the bruising was starting to go away. She removed the few sutures that she needed to. And, while she was working, we talked about a few other things.
The first night the girls were back, I was going to visit with Abby. When I walked into her apartment, it was the first time she had seen me since most of the swelling had gone down. She stood there, looked at me, got a smile, and said, “You really look great.”
“I still have a little bruising. But, I’m happy with what she did.”
“Me too lover.”
I really miss Abby when the group’s gone, and it was great just cuddling with her on the couch. I finally said, “The doctor and I talked about a few other things.”
“What?”
“Oh. Breast implants for one. Hip and butt augmentation for another. And, hormones.”
“Really! And . . . “
“She said that if I was really going to spend my life as a girl, that the breast implants would be for the best. It would help me feel more like a girl, and I wouldn’t have to worry about the forms. The same with the hips and butt. I think the hormones would change things too much.”
“In what way.”
“I’m afraid that it would stop my male equipment from working. And, I don’t want that.”
“Me either. Do you want to do something like the implants?”
“I’m not sure. She said, to go that far I’d need to see a psychologist, and live as a woman for a while. Something to do with their code of ethics.”
“Do you think you might like to do that?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. Living as a girl, so far, has been just fine. It feels good being this way. And, maybe not having to mess with the forms, and special panties, might be nice.”
“But, to modify your body further than what we’ve already done. Is such a big step.”
“Yea. I look so much like a girl now that even my old friends don’t know me. I saw a couple of guys from school the other day, and all I got was the typical guy looking at a girl thing. No sign of recognition. It was kind of sad, but also kind of nice.”
“You’re happy with yourself. Aren’t you?”
“Very much. She also brought up the possibility that I was transgendered.”
“Transgendered?”
“Yea. The girl in a guys body thing.”
“Why?”
“I guess it was the ease that I fell into a girl’s roll.”
“Do you feel that way?”
“No. Not really. I just feel like a guy, who prefers to look like a girl. I love the clothes, the pampering that you get at a spa or salon, and the fun of having close girlfriends. I don’t know why, I guess it’s just me.”
“Still no interest in boys?”
“No. Nothing what so ever. I even had a really cute guy hit on me the other day at the mall. And, nothing. I had no interest in him, and I just ignored him.”
“And, your feeling toward girls?”
“I love girls. I love everything about girls.”
“You know what I mean.”
I smiled, and said, “I’m only attracted to girls. And, one in particular.”
“And, if something happened between that girl and you?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if you, and this girl broke up? What would you do? Would you try, and find another girl that would love you as a girl? Would you go back to being a boy? Or, what?”
I looked at her a little worried, and said, “God. I don’t know. I just hope I never have to find out. I guess I’d have to wait and see what happened. But, I think I’d stay a girl. I feel better this way. There’s just something about it, that makes me feel good.”
She smiled, and said, “Don’t worry lover. You’re stuck with me. I just wanted to see how you felt about yourself.”
“Don’t do that to me.”
A week later, I was walking out on the stage on the cruise ship for the first time as Maddie. With a little help from some makeup, the last of the bruising was gone. It felt wonderful, being back with the group. I was wearing a short, very low cut, white dress, a great pair of heels, a lot of jewelry, and as usual, very dangly earrings. The tape was again in use to keep me from falling out of the dress. And, the five of us, with the five guys in the band, sounded great.
Just before this cruise Katie had filled me in the story that they had come up with about Kyla and Abby. And, it went something like this. Kyla had to move to the west coast for something, and wanted Abby to go with her. But, Abby wanted to stay in the area, and continue to do the cruises. And, they had a big fight over it, and broke up. Then when I , Maddie, was brought into the group, it was like love at first sight between Abby and Maddie. She said the only comment out of any of the guys was, “Why is it always the pretty ones.” And, there was no sign that anyone saw any part of Kyla in Maddie. I do sound a little like her, but don’t look like her.
On the last night of the cruise, Katie and Gary got the two groups together, and Gary, with tears in his eyes, said, “This is the last cruise that we’ll be together. The band is breaking up. And, I just wanted to wish the girls all the luck with everything. I really don’t think you need any luck, I think you guys will go a long way.”
There were tears everywhere, the girls gave all the guys hugs. As Gary was hugging me, he said, “This is an extra special hug for Kyla.”
I stepped back, and looked at him. He just smiled, and winked.
The guys then just left the room. The tears kept up from the five of us, as Nan said, “I’ll miss those guys. They were good together, and we sounded good with them.”
“They were good.”, Katie said, “And, I hope we still sound good without them, because we’re about ready to start on the CD. Pam has a whole set of original songs for us to do. And, we’ll start working on them as soon as we get home. We’re also going to be recording live on the next cruise. The record company will be sending two guys with us. And, they’ll record each night. Then we’ll pick the best of the recordings, and see if they will make it.”
When Abby and I were back in our stateroom, I said, “That was so weird.”
“What was weird?”
“Gary. As he was hugging me, he said, ‘This is an extra special hug for Kyla.’ Does he know?”
“I don’t know how he could.”
The week after the cruise, we worked really hard on the new songs, and Pam had done a wonderful job on them. The five of us felt that they would really work. So, it looked like it was a go for the following week.
Now, I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but two days before we were to leave for the ship, things changed between Abby and I.
Part 4
Is this really me?
A few days before the cruise, I was at Abby’s place, and she seemed different. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but she was somehow different. We were cuddled up on the couch, and just listening to music. She started kissing my neck, and nibbling on my ear. Nothing unusual. This progressed to some deep kissing. Still nothing unusual. But, was I, if it was possible, feeling more passion than usual in her kisses.
It wasn’t long before her hands were very busy. We had petted heavily before. But, there was something different in this. And, I was feeling different, the special panties were becoming uncomfortable. Abby gave me a very deep kiss, sat back, and looked at me. I’d never seen this look in her eyes before. Then, in a somewhat husky voice, she whispered, “Maddie. I can’t wait any longer. I want you.” She stood up, took my hand, and led me to her bedroom. There was no resistance on my part.
Abby became the aggressor. It wasn’t long before all of our clothes were on the floor, and we were on her bed. She took control of the situation, and . . .
About an hour later we were laying, cuddled together, on her bed. She looked at me, and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”, I asked.
“We were going to wait.”
“I know. I’m surprised we made it this long.”
“Maddie. I really do love you.”
“I know you do. And, I really love you. And, don’t be sorry. I love anything we do together. And, that was fantastic.”
“You don’t mind that I took the lead.”
“No. I loved it.”
Two days later as we were boarding the cruise ship, and Katie was handing us our stateroom keys. As she usually does, she handed me the key to the room that we were to share. I looked at Abby, smiled, and swapped keys with Nan, who usually rooms with Abby. Katie looked at me, then Abby, then back at me, and said, “Little sister!”
All I did, was look at her, and smile.
This cruise was a little more crazy than the others, but not too bad. What made it crazier was that the guys doing the recording were also here, and not only did they record the performances, but all the rehearsals. We were able to listen to a number of the recordings, and some of them sounded great. The recording guys told us that the area that we performed in wasn’t really that good for recording, but that they could compensate for it. By the end of the cruise, they had more than ten hours of recordings.
I was slipping further into being Maddie. In fact one afternoon, Nan and I were standing at the rail together, and she said, “I’ve been watching you on this cruise, and I’m not seeing anything of Mat. Everything you do is feminine, almost to a fault.”
I looked at her, smiled, and said, “I know.”
“You’re happy with your new self. Aren’t you?”
“Yes. And, thank you.”
“For what?”
“For pushing me into being Kyla. If you and Katie hadn’t done that, I would never have found myself, or Abby.”
“You and Abby are really an item. Aren’t you?”
“Yea. I think I’ve found that one person that really makes me happy. Maybe my soul mate. And, I’m really surprised that we have so much in common.”
“Maybe? No maybe about it. Do you think you make her happy?”
“I hope so.”
“You do. She and I had a nice long, sisterly, talk about the two of you.”
“Really?”
“Yea. And, she feels the same way about you. She told me that you make her very happy. And, that you’re stuck with her.”
I smiled at Nan, and said, “She’s someone really nice to be stuck with. But, why me as Maddie?”
“I asked her that. And, she’s not really sure. She liked you when you were Mat, but it was a sisterly thing. Then, when you decided to help the group, and went through all of that, she saw something else in you. And, she just felt that you were someone that she wanted to be with. And, the more you became Maddie, the deeper she fell in love with you. I guess she just saw you for who you are, and fell in love.”
Also, during this cruise, Abby became a teacher. She taught me how a woman likes to be loved. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, and touching. Not rushing, but enjoying each other to the fullest. The first time, at her apartment, we had sex, during the cruise, we became lovers.
Two weeks later, Katie received a telegram. And, she wouldn’t tell anyone what was in it. I even tried to swipe it from her, but she wouldn’t let me see it. All she said was, “Later.”
That evening the five of us got together to practice. Katie was the last one to walk into the practice room, and as she did, she said, “I don’t think we’re going to have a practice tonight.”
Everyone looked at her, and Nan asked, “Why?”
“Oh. I just thought that we should celebrate.”
“Celebrate what.”
“Our first CD.”
“What!”
“I got a telegram today from the record producer, and he loved what he heard. And, they are in the process of putting it together. And, it should be released in a month or so.”
Everyone got excited, screaming, and hugging, and kissing each other. After we had calmed down a little, mom walked in with six glasses, and a bottle of champagne. We finished that bottle in no time. And, there was no practice that night.
The record company sent a photographer with us on the next cruise, and she took a large number of pictures of the five of us. Both individually, and as a group. The cruise people were very happy, as their ship was featured in publicity for the CD.
A few weeks later, we were looking over the pre-release publicity, and listening to a rough cut of the CD. As we listened to it, I looked at Abby, and whispered, “Do we really sound that good?”
“You had better believe it lover.”
The proposed cover photo showed the five of us in one of the ships lifeboats, and the name of the ship was in plain view. There was going to be a total of twenty songs on the CD, Katie had a single, and she and Nan had two duets. The producer had told Katie that the few record people that had heard some of the cuts were very happy with what they heard. And, he felt that the CD would be a hit. Maybe not a gold, but a hit.
A month later, just as we were ready to leave on another cruise, the CD was released. And, we even found some copies in the ship’s gift shop. We couldn’t believe that we were seeing ourselves on a record cover. On the last day of this cruise, we were all sitting down to lunch, Pam was the last to join us, and she had a big grin on her face. Nan looked at her, and said, “Okay, What put such a big smile on your face?”
“I was just at the gift shop.”, Pam answered, “And, they’ve sold out of our CD’s. A hundred copies. And, they had more people asking for them.”
This brought smiles to everyone. I looked at Katie, and said, “I sure wish that Gary, and his group, was sharing this with us.”
“Me to sis. I do miss those guys.”
A few days after this cruise, Abby and I were cuddled together on her couch, and I said, “Abby.”
“Yea love.”
“I’ve been thinking.”
“That could be dangerous.”
“Come on. I’m trying to be serious.”
“Sorry. Thinking about what?”
“Me.”
“You?”
“Yea. About me, and these forms and panties.”
“What about them.”
“How much I hate them.”
“Hate them?”
“Having to put them on to look feminine.”
“And?”
“I’ve been thinking about the implants again.”
She turned so that she could look at me straight in the eyes, and said, “That’s a very big step.”
“I know. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”
“Really?”
“Yea. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, when I’m not wearing my forms and panties, I see my feminine face on a boys body, and I hate it. This face belongs on a girls body.”
“I’ve noticed that too. And, you’re right that face does belong on a girl’s body.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes. You’ve become a very feminine person. You look very pretty. And, you deserve to be who you should be, and to be happy.”
“Would it make you happy?”
“Honey. What ever makes you happy, makes me happy.”
I smiled at her, and she kissed me.
The next day, we talked to Katie about it, and she was a little apprehensive. But, only because I was still underage, and mom would have to give her permission. She was concerned about how she would take my decision, and if she would go along with it.
I took the four of us, Abby, Katie, mom, and myself, out to dinner that night. And, as we were enjoying an after dinner glass of wine, Katie winked at me, and said, “Mom. The three of us have been talking about something, and Maddie needs your permission for something.”
Mom looked at me, then at Abby, then back at me, and said, “Maddie, you’re too young to get married?”
Abby, with a big smile, replied, “Not yet, Mrs. Linton.”
“That’s mom. And, good. He . . . She’s too young. So, what do you need my permission for?”
I told mom my feelings about the forms, and everything. She sat there in silence, and just listened. When I was done, she looked at Katie, then at Abby, then back at me, and said, “I figure that your sister and Abby are going along with this?”
“Yes.”, I replied.
“So, I’m going to loose my little boy for good.”
“Mom. I’m Maddie. You’ve known that for some time. You’ve known that I’ve been happier since I’ve been Maddie, then I ever was as Mat.”
“I know honey. It’s just hard for a mother to loose a son.”
“Mom. You’re not losing me. I’ll always be here. I’ll just be who I feel I should be. Someone who can contribute in a way they feel they should.”
“I know honey. I know I should have sensed something earlier. I guess I just didn’t want to see it. How far are you going?”
“Just breasts, hips, and butt.”
“Just! It’s a big step.”
“I know. I have to go see a psychologist first, to see if this is right for me. And, live as a girl for awhile. I guess I’ve been doing that already.”
“Yes, you have. Our house has become fully feminine. There no sign of Mat anywhere. So, I guess you want my permission to start on this.”
“Please.”
“I guess if I don’t, you’ll just wait until your eighteen.”
“Mom!”
“I’m sorry honey. But, I’m having a little trouble with this. I’m losing my only son.”
“But, you’re gaining something better. You’re gaining a daughter.”, I said, trying to lighten the conversation a little.
“Mom.”, Katie said, “Remember back when we had the talk about Mat being depressed. And, we all agreed that he was so much happier when he was a girl. We paid for that session at the spa, and how you said, that he appeared so much happier. Well, he was when he was her. You should see Maddie on the cruises, she is a bundle of energy, and is very happy.”
“I’m losing this argument, aren’t I.”, mom said.
“Mom. If you tell her no. She won’t go against you. But, I know she won’t be as happy as she could be.”, Katie added.
“Maddie.”, mom said, with a little sigh, “I want you to be happy. And, if looking like a girl is what it takes. Then, you have my permission to do this. Just be sure.”
“Thanks, mom. I am sure. I’ve thought about this for a long time. And, Abby, Katie, and I have really talked it over. And, we feel that it’s the right step.”
“Are you going to go all the way with your transformation to a girl?”
“I really don’t think so. I’m happy with it as it is. I just want to see a girls body when I look in a mirror, even if I still have to hid some male parts.”
“Well girls.”, mom added, “Anyone for another glass of wine? I need one.”
The next day, I an appointment with a psychologist, Dr. Randall, that Dr. Newsome had recommended. Dr. Randall did some work with the transgendered community, and she could see me the following week.
Two days later, a bouquet of flowers was delivered to the house. I was looking at them when Katie walked up, and asked, “Who are these for?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you look at the card?”
“Card?”
“Here silly.”, she said, handing me a card that was in the flowers.
I looked at it, and all it said on the envelope was, ‘Maddie.’
I slowly opened the envelope, and removed the card. It said, ‘Congratulations to you and the group for a hit CD. I finally got a copy of it, and it sounds fantastic. Hope it goes gold.’ And, it was signed Gary.
I looked at Katie, and said, “Why just to me, and not the group?”
“I don’t know.”, Katie said, “Did you read the p.s?”
“P.s?”
“Yea at the bottom.”
I read it out loud, “To the prettiest boy that I’ve ever kissed. If you and Abby ever break up, give me a call. Gary”
I looked at Katie, and said, “How did he know?”
“I have no idea. Unless he saw something in Kyla, that he also saw in Maddie. And, put two and two together. But, I have no idea what it was. Or, how he knew that you’re a guy.”
This was going to drive me nuts until I figured out how he knew. I talked with Aby about it, but she had no idea either.
Abby went with me to see Dr. Randall, we sat in the waiting room for only a few minutes before she came out, and asked us to come back to her office. After we had made the usual introductions, she asked, “I thought that one of you was a boy, and wanted to transition to a girl?”
I said, “Yes. I do.”
“You’re not a girl?”
“No. I was born male, and have been living as a girl for the past few months. Dr. Newsome did some work on my face, and said that before I went any further that I had to see a psychologist.”
She sat there, and just looked at me for a few seconds, and then said, “Yes it’s part of our way to be sure that it’s what you really want. So, you’ve already been living as a girl for a few months. Tell me how all this came about.”
We talked for a good hour, and I told Dr. Randall how the whole thing had come about, including the cruises, and my problem with Mark. When I finished, again, she just looked at me for a few seconds, then reached into her desk drawer, and took something out. Then she said, “I thought I had seen you two before.” And, she held up our CD.
I looked at Abby, then at the doctor, and said, “That’s our CD.”
“Yes. I was on the cruise where they were selling these in the gift shop, and I saw your show twice. I can’t believe that you two are now sitting in my office, and that Maddie is a boy.”
“That’s us.”, Abby said.
“Your group is really very good.”
“Thank you.”, Abby and I said in unison.
“So, Maddie, you want to transition to a girl?”
“Not completely.”
“By not completely, you mean you don’t want to go through sex reassignment surgery. Correct?”
“Right.”
“So, you want to do what?”
“Dr. Newsome suggested that I get breast, hip, and butt implants. She also talked with me about hormones. But, I don’t like some of the side effects that I’ve found out about.”
“You want to keep your male parts working?”
“Yes.”
“You two are more than friends, aren’t you?”
I looked at Abby, then said, “Yes. Is that a problem?”
“Not at all. In fact it’s good that you have the support that you do. How does you’re family feel?”
“My dad is dead. And, my mom had a problem at first, but I think that she is really seeing that I am happier as a girl. In fact, she gave me that name Madeline when we were looking for a girls name. And, she signed a consent form for this. And, my sister, who’s the lead singer of the group, is fine with it.”
“Lets see you’re seventeen. And, you really want to do this?”
“Yes. Very much.”
“I have some testing that I need to do. And, I’d still like you to spend another couple of months as a girl, full time. Then, we’ll meet again, and make a final determination. And, to be very honest, I see no problem with it. From what I’ve already heard, and seen, here and on the cruise, you know who you are, and you seem to be very sure of what you want.”
“Thank you. I do really feel that I’m now who I should be. And, spending more time as a girl full time, is no problem. What kind of tests are these?”
“They’re psychological tests, to basically determine who you are.”
“When do you want to do them?”
“We can do them today if you like. It’ll take a couple of hours.”
I looked at Abby, and she said, “You might as well. I’ll go shopping, and come back.”
Kiddingly, I said, “Go shopping! Without me?”
Abby looked at the doctor, and said, “She’s a real shopaholic.”
After Abby left, the doctor took me to a room with a desk in it, and said, “Maddie, I already feel that you know who you are. But, we have to at least go through the motions. And, the tests will tell us for sure. And, I would like to talk with you a few times over the next couple of months. I’m also helping with a research paper, and I think you’d make a nice addition to it. Of course it would be completely anonymous. Would you be willing to do that.”
“Sure.”
“I’d also like to talk with Abby. Do you think she’d be willing?”
“I don’t know why not.”
I spent the next two and a half hours taking a group of tests. And, Abby was waiting for me when I was finished. The doctor had one last request before we left, and that was to autograph her CD. Our first autographs.
Over the next couple of months, the doctor and I had some long talks. As did the doctor and Abby. And, at the end of our last one, she said, “Maddie, you are very interesting person. Most transgendered people know early in life that they are that way. You found out in your late teens. And, then you found someone, in Abby, that accepts you for who you are. She’s a very rare person. When you first walked in here, I was honestly surprised that you weren’t a girl. And, after talking with you, you are a girl, really a young woman, or at least as much as you want to be. I’ve sent Dr. Newsome my report, and I told her that as far as I’m concerned you can transition as far as you want to.”
All I could do was sit there and smile. Finally I said, “Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”
“Maddie. You are very welcome. And, I wish you, and your sisters group, all the best.”
As I walked into Abby’s apartment, she looked at me, and said, “The doctor approved your surgery. Didn’t she?”
“How did you know.”
“I’ve seen you happy before. But, you are just glowing.”
“Want to go out to dinner?”
It was two weeks before I could see Dr. Newsome. And, again Abby was with me. We went over all the options. And, two weeks later, I was again waking up in her clinic after surgery. And, again my mom, sister, and Abby were there, and they told me that everything went just fine. I just had to be careful of things for a week or two, wear a bra full time for a week, but I was able to go home later that day.
I had to miss one cruise, and we used the excuse of me having the flu. The girls knew the real reason, and by the time they returned, I was back to normal. One day, I had just finished a shower, and was standing naked, looking at my new body in my mirror. My 34C breasts, 25 inch waist, and 32 inch hips. I hadn’t closed the door to my room completely, Katie happened to see me, and stopped to watch. I heard her say, “It looks like you’re happy with the doctors work?”
I turned around, covering my self, and said, “Very happy.”
“You know. I’ve said this before, but you do make a pretty girl. Now, you have a pretty body to go with it.”
I smiled at her, and said, “Thanks. I feel so much better without the forms, and it’s nice to have a body to go with the face.”
I got to thinking that it was about time that Abby got to meet the new me. We hadn’t been together, intimately, since just before my surgery. I think it was because she was afraid of hurting me. So, that evening, I took her out to dinner, and then we went back to her apartment. We sat, cuddled, and listened to music for awhile, and I finally said, as a ruse, “I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” But, instead I went to her bedroom, stripped, and put on her short, red, silk robe.
I walked back into the livingroom, and just stood in front of her. She looked up at me, and with a sly grin, said, “What are you up to?”
“Oh nothing much.”, I replied, as I undid the robe, slowly slipping it off my shoulders, then lower, exposing my new breasts. And, finally allowing it to drop to the floor.
She smiled, and said, “Nothing much! I’d say that you’re up to a lot.”
“I just thought that you’d like a formal unveiling of the new body. You’ve never seen it. Do you like?”
“Very much.”
I walked closer to her, smiled, and said, “Want to try it out?”
She reached up, pulled me down on her lap, and kissed me very deeply. And, as I usually do, I just melted in her arms.
Later we were laying on her bed, cuddled together. She cupped one of my new breasts in her hand, and said, “These are so much better then the forms.”
“And,”, I said, “you sure know how to treat them properly.”
My birthday was in late September, and Abby had gotten me, along with other things, a very expensive evening gown. She said it was for special times.
When Christmas rolled around, Abby spend the day with mom, Katie, and I. We had gotten each other some very nice things, and it was really nice spending Christmas with her. After dinner, Abby and I went back to her place, and just cuddled up on the couch. We sat there for a long time listening to music, and just enjoying being with each other.
Finally Abby said, “Oh. I almost forgot. There’s another present for you.”
“Huh? You’ve already gotten me such nice things.”
“I know. But, you deserve so much more.”
“No I don’t.”
As she handed me a small box, she said, “Don’t argue love. This is for you.”
I unwrapped it, opened it, and inside was a small black velvet box. I took that out, opened it, and there was a ring inside. An engagement ring. I looked at her. And, all she said was, “Will you marry me?”
And, the tears started. I think I cried more then, then I did when Mark attacked me. But, for other reasons. Abby held me close, and said, “There’s nothing to cry about.”
“I’m sorry. But, I’m so happy. I . . . I never expected this.”
“And?”
“Yes. I’ll marry you. But, shouldn’t I be asking you?”
“Does it matter who asks who? As long as it’s asked.”
“No. I guess it doesn’t.”
I looked at the ring again, and said, “It’s so beautiful.”
“Just like you my love.”
Abby took the ring out of the box, and slipped it on my left ring finger. I wrapped my arms around her neck, and hugged her for all I was worth. I finally sat back, looked at the ring again, looked at Abby, and said, “I couldn’t love anyone any more than I love you.” And, we kissed.
We sat there for a long time just cuddling with each other. There was a gentle knock on the door. I looked at the clock it was ten-fifteen. Then I looked at Abby. She asked, “Honey. Would you see who’s there?” I got up, opened the door, and there was my mom, Katie, Nan, and Pam.
My mom, smiled, and said, “Surprise honey.”
I just stood there, and looked at them.
“Little sister.”, Katie said, “Can we come in?”
“Sure. Sorry. Yes. Come on in.”
“We came over to celebrate with you and Abby.”
“You knew about . . . “
“Sure. We all knew a little while ago that Abby was going to ask you this Christmas. In fact Abby even asked mom’s permission.”
“And, you kept the secret?”
“Yea. And, it was hard.”, Nan said.
We sat around and chatted for a while. Abby, got everyone a glass of champagne. And, they toasted us. Then, Mom said, “Usually the boy gives the girl a ring. But, with two girls I just don’t know. Abby gave you a ring, so I guess maybe you need to give her one.”
And, mom handed me a small velvet box. I opened it, and it contained an engagement ring. An old engagement ring. I looked at it, looked at my mom, and said, “This is grandma’s?”
“Yes. She wanted you to have it, to give to your wife. And, I guess that’s going to be Abby.”
I looked at Abby. And, she was grinning. I took the ring out of the box, and slipped it on her left ring finger, as I asked her, “Will you marry me?”
“Yes, my love. In a heart beat.”, Abby answered.
And, we kissed.
The six of us sat there, and talked well into the night. The only one getting sleepy was mom, she wasn’t use to being up this late. Abby and Katie told us how they had planned this whole thing, and how hard it was to keep it a secret from me.
On the following cruise, Abby and I were walking on deck, and I said, “You know what would be neat?”
“What?”
“To be married on the ship.”
“You romantic you.”
“So, you like the idea.”
“No. I love it.”
We went, and talked to the Cruise Director, and she told us that we’d have to talk to the Captain. And, that she’d set up an appointment for us.
The following afternoon, Abby and I sat down with the Captain and Cruise Director, and talked about having a wedding on one of the cruises in June. A small private wedding. The Captain told us that he would be very happy to perform the ceremony for the couple. And, that since he was a Notary Public he did have the legal right to do so. The Cruise Director also said that they had a stateroom for special couples, and it would be the couples for that cruise. And, that they also needed to sit down with her to do the actual planning.
I guess we neglected to tell them that it was Abby and I that were getting married, because the Cruise Director said, “I figure that one of you is the bride, but who’s the lucky guy?”
Abby and I looked at each other, and then Abby said, “Well. Actually it would be a double bride ceremony. Maddie and I are the couple. Is here a problem with a same sex marriage?”
“I haven’t ever performed one.”, the Captain said, “But, I guess I could.”
The Cruise Director smiled at us, and said, “I had an idea that you two were more than friends.”
“It’s that obvious?”, Abby asked her.
“Yes.”
The Captain added, “As long as you have a valid marriage license I can perform the ceremony.”
The next day, while Abby and I were eating, the Cruise Director found us, and asked, “Do you mind if I join you?”
“Not at all.”, Abby replied.
As she sat, she said, “I did some checking for you two. And, you can obtain a same sex marriage license in the States only in Massachusetts. And, overseas in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, and Spain. And, we really do look forward to helping you two.”
“Thank you.”, we said in unison.
We sat, and chatted with Cathy, the Cruise Director, for a while. Finally Abby asked, “Cathy. How did you know that we were more than just friends?”
“Just watching you two together. You hold hand, not like friends, but like lovers. I’ve seen you standing at the rail, with your arms around each other. And, I guess that it takes one to know one.”
“Takes one to know one?”
“I’m a lesbian, too.”
Abby smiled a little, looked at me, and said, “Can I tell her.”
“What?”, I asked.
“About you.”
“I . . . I guess.”
“Tell me what?”, Cathy asked.
“About Maddie.”
“What about Maddie?”
“This is in complete confidence. Okay?”
“Okay. I’m not out to anyone either.”
“This is just a little different. Maddie isn’t a she.”
Cathy sat back in her seat, looked at me, and said, “She’s not a she?”
“Right. Maddie was born a boy.” And, Abby went on give Cathy a short version of our story. When she was done, Cathy just looked at me for the longest time, then said, “No way. There is no way that I would have ever thought of you being anything but a girl. You have transitioned so completely. But, you’re not going to fully transition?”
Smiling at Abby, I replied, “No. We like it this way.”
Cathy looked at Abby, smiled, and nodded.
Just then one of the ships officers walked up, and Cathy said, “Maddie and Abby. This is Gina, she’s the ships third officer. Gina, this is Maddie and Abby.”
Gina was a very pretty girl, and appeared to be of Italian descent. If I wasn’t so much in love with Abby . . . What am I thinking!
We exchanged smiles, and hellos. And, Cathy continued, “Sit, and join us.”
Gina sat, and said, “I’ve seen at least one of your performances on each cruise that you’ve been on. I just love your sound.”
“Thank you.”, Abby said.
“Gina and I are lovers.”, Cathy said.
Gina looked at her, with surprise in her eyes, and whispered, “I though we were going to keep that our secret?”
“Sweet heart. From what I’ve just heard, our secret is completely safe with these two.”
“They’re lesbians too. Right?”
Looking at us, Cathy asked, “Do you mind if I tell her? She’s very good at keeping secrets.”
Abby looked at me, and said, “Do you mind?”
“No. As long as it doesn’t go any further.”
“It won’t.”, Cathy said. Then looking at Gina, she said, “They’re really not lesbians. But, they’re lovers.”
“Not really lesbians. But, they’re lovers. And, this is the couple that wants the same sex marriage?”
“This is them. And, they’re not lesbians. Which one isn’t a girl?”
“They’re both girls!?”
“No. One isn’t. Which one?”
“You are kidding me?”
“No.”
“I . . . I don’t know.”
I couldn’t help it, I just grinned at Gina.
“No.”, Gina said, “You’re a girl?”
I slowly shook my head no. And, Abby and Cathy laughed at Gina’s reaction.
The four of us sat and chatted for awhile longer, filling Gina in on my story. Finally Gina and Cathy had to go back to their duties. And, Abby and I had made two new friends.
That night after our performance, Abby and I were getting read for bed. And, I suddenly had a very nasty thought, and I guess my face showed it. Because, Abby said, “What’s wrong love?”
“Don’t I need a birth certificate, or drivers license, or something like that to get a marriage license?”
“Yes.”
“I think we may have a real problem.”
“What?”
“My birth certificate has my male name on it, and says that I’m a male. And, so does my drivers license.”
“Oh.”
“And, I look no more male than the Mona Lisa.”
As soon as we were back from the cruise, I was on the phone to Dr. Randall explaining the problem, and hoping that she knew an answer. She chuckled a bit, and said, “Maddie. You’re in luck. This state will not only allow you to change your name and sex on your drivers license. But, also on your birth certificate. All you need is a letter from me saying that you are living full time as a female, and are undergoing treatment.”
“But, I’m not undergoing treatment.”, I replied.
“Yes you are. You are a patient of mine, and Dr. Newsomes’. And, you are undergoing treatment.”
“But . . . “
“Don’t worry. I’ll have a letter for you tomorrow. And, I’ll call Dr. Newsome as soon as we hang up, and she’ll also have a letter for you just as quick. We’ve both done this before. And, all this will cost you is an invitation to the wedding.”
Within two weeks, I had both a drivers license and a birth certificate that said, Madeline Jean Linton, female. And, then we started looking for someplace that would issue us a marriage license. We found that Massachusetts requires you to be a resident, so that was out. But, Canada was a possibility, you don’t have to be a resident, only have proof of who you are, and two witnesses.
At the end of one cruise in early May the five of us, instead of flying home, flew to Toronto. Abby and I only needed two witnesses for our marriage license, but the five of us were like sisters. We spend two days in a very fun city, and returned home with our marriage license.
The second cruise in June was the big one. We had a special guest with us, my mom. Abby’s parents, we won’t talk about. So, after our gig the second night of the cruise, Abby and I almost ran back to out stateroom to change. And, what a stateroom it was. I was going to wear that special dress that Abby had gotten me. And, I hadn’t seen her dress yet. When we got to the stateroom, we helped each other out of the dresses that we had worn for the gig.
That evening, Abby and I had both worn identical lingerie, a thong, garter belt, demi bra, all in white satin. And, white nylons.
As I stepped out of my dress, Abby said, “Love. You look so sexy in those.”
“So do you babe.”
“Like the thong?”
“Yea. This is the first time I’ve worn one, except for waxing. And, it’s kind of nice.”
“Guess we’ll have to get you a few sets. You really do look sexy in them.”
Abby helped me into my dress, and zipped it up. I changed shoes, to a pair of white pumps, as she put her dress on. It was identical to mine. I looked at her, and said, “You look so pretty. You got these dresses at the same time, knowing that we were going to be married. Didn’t you?”
“I saw these, and just had to have them. I figured that you wouldn’t mind me picking out your wedding dress.”
“I just love everything you buy me. You know me better than I know myself.”
“We’d better hurry, or your mom is going to fall asleep.”
I smiled, and laughed a little, then said, “I doubt it. It’s not everyday your son, who looks more like a daughter, gets married.”
We were going to be married in the Captain’s quarters in front of special friends. Mom was there, Katie, Nan, and Pam. Cathy, the Cruise Director, and her lover Gina. And, Dr. Newsome. Abby and I had written a short ceremony, where each of us swore our love to each other. The Captain did his part, with, “Do you Madeline take Abigail to be your lawfully wedded spouse?”
I replied, “I do, with all the love in my heart.”
He then said, “Do you Abigail take Madeline as your lawfully wedded spouse?”
Abby said, “With all my heart, yes.”
Then he said, “I know pronounce you spouses for life.”
Abby and I kissed each other, and we were married. There was a nice round of applause when the Captain said, “I now present to you Miss Madeline Jean Robinson-Linton and Miss Abigail Beth Robinson-Linton.” We had decided to hyphenate our last names, and we tossed a coin to see whose would be first.
After the ceremony, there were hugs and kisses all around. Cathy and Gina were the last to congratulate us, it was a very warm kiss on the lips, and hugs. As we were leaving the Captains quarters, Cathy and Gina walked with us.
Cathy said, “You two got us thinking. And, I think we’re both going to come out. And, then in time, hopefully we’re going to marry.”
“Why wait?”, Abby asked.
“We’ve only know each other for a couple of months. And, want to be sure. But, we both feel that it’s time to let everyone know who we are. You two are the only ones that we’ve told so far.”
“I guess it’s best to be sure.”
We said goodnight to Cathy and Gina at our stateroom door with hugs and kisses. This stateroom was something else, it was the owners suite. It had a king size bed, full bath, private balcony, big screen television, bar, and a large sitting area. As I walked in, I kicked off my heels, turned around, wrapped my arms around Abby’s neck, and gave her a long, deep kiss. I felt her unzip my dress, and it fell to the floor, and I stepped out of it. She turned around, and said, “Unzip me?” She didn’t have to ask twice.
She stepped out of her dress, and looked just so sexy standing there in her demi bra, thong, garter belt, nylons, and heels. I kissed her again, and I felt her undo my bra. I reciprocated. And, our bras hit the floor at about the same time.
She ran her hands down my body, sending chills through me, and looped her fingers through the waist band of my thong. And, as she bend down, she slowly slid my thong down my legs, and I carefully stepped out of it. I can’t describe what I was feeling, but I knew my knees felt like they were ready to buckle.
I wrapped my arms around her neck again, she was still wearing her three inch heels, so she was five inches taller than I was. I had to stand on my tip toes to kiss her, but it was another long, deep, kiss. After we broke the kiss, she started to remove her thong, and I stopped her. I knelt down in front of her, and slowly removed her thong, then helped her step out of her heels.
She helped me to my feet, took my hand, and lead me to the bed. That night, and it was the whole night and into the following morning, we consummated our marriage.
We were only on a few more cruises, as our CD really took off. The record producer had us go on tour, first in the States, and then in Europe. And, today we are a well know girls group.
Well that’s the story of my life so far. I started out as a somewhat typical boy, coerced into helping my sisters all girls group when one member was hurt. Somehow I became a passable black girl. Then the four girls decided that they sounded better with a fifth voice, mine. So, when the injured girl returned, I became a very passable white girl. And, in doing so, I found that I was happier being a girl than a boy. Then there was Abby, one of the girls in the group, we fell in love. She had a thing for my female side, and I had a thing for her. And, we ended up getting married in a double bride ceremony on one of our cruises.
We never did figure out how Gary knew I was a guy, and may never figure it out. And, Mark is far out of the scene. Did Abbey and I live happily ever after? You bet.
Comments
We know the answer to "Are you a boy, or are you a girl?"
I came across this story by accident, Thank goodness! what a cute story.
Actually, they could have been married in any state, Maddy is after all a male.
Lovely and sweet.
This story is so nice, sweet, loving and romantic. It really had me smile a happy smile a lot.
Of course it is right up my street, being into girls myself. Maddie, even if she keeps her male parts, is more feminine than anything and who says you got to go all the way as a m2f to be lesbian? Or demand it from you spouse as a woman in love?
That's why there is the rainbow as our symbol, all the colours are present. As divers as humanity can be.
Hugs,
Monique.
Monique S
A good story
I enjoyed it immensely.
A touching story
This is a really sweet story that just leaves me feeling all warm and gooey inside. Without a doubt one of the best 'girl in a band' stories I've read, a lovely blend of tg and romance.
Nicely written too, neither too much nor too little of any one part of the story.
I think I'll go give my cat a hug after that.
Ally
Heartwarming
Very nicely done. Normally, I don't like to leave unimaginative comments parroting other readers, but as no one has commented in months, let me just add this to what Allison M. has said:
Yeah! Me, too! A totally lovely story.
The only thing that pulled me out of the storyline were the mechanics of the legal marriage. I started out thinking, "Yes! Mat/Kyla/Maddie's a guy! The marriage would be so easy, legal in all 50 states." But, then the story works around that, presumably to keep Maddie's status a secret, which is almost pointless by this time, as like a zillion people know already. And, with her legal name being quite different than her stage name, that would offer a degree of privacy as far as public documents would show. This is such a heartwarming story, that I don't think it would be overly saccharine to have the captain do the gasping fish-face double-take thing and then marry the two of them using the exact same ceremony in the story except with a conspiratorial smile and a wink. And, if there's a little trouble getting the marriage license because Maddie looks like a woman, well... I think that could be a fun scene, too!
Hi Pippa K. And thank you
Hi Pippa K. And thank you for the lovely comments. And I can see the fun in having the story go those directions. But eleven years ago when I wrote the story it's the way my mind went.
Teddie