Some final notes

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Allie - The teenage years of Alexander Horten

Some final notes

Thank you for reading this story. I usually do not do this with my stories, but here are some thoughts I had while writing this story

This story was an experiment. I wanted to explore the teenage years of a boy and how people around him and events influence him. I wanted to make this a soap opera. This meant a few things.

- What some readers noticed is the constant problems and good times that overlap each other. This means the mood also changes. Some have said it was very light in places and dark in other places. This is life.

- People come and go in our lives. This can be seen in this story.

- People also are quick to judge. This can be hard for anyone. It must be very hard for a teen.

- Being a teen is not easy. Teens have to "grow up" and find their place in the world. Peer Pressure, the media and parent expectations do not help a lot.

- This is a diary which means we only get Allies views. This means we do get to know what other people are doing or thinking.

Some may consider this to have a happy ending, that happened a bit too quickly. again we do not hear much about Dad's recovery to health because Allie does not know. While this has a happy ending, it does not mean the challenges that Allie has is over. The things he experienced will affect him for life.

While this story seems to be a favourite with many, it is not my favourite. I do not even know if I am proud of it. This being said it was fun to write. I have decided that I will make a spin-off of this story, that will be fun to write and a better quality and structure.

Now here are some of the thoughts I had about the different characters in the story, which could include what I would imagine their future to be.

The Teacher: There have been different teachers in the story. Some did not understand Allie. They were some of the people that judged them. Other teachers promised help but did nothing. The last teacher did care about Allie and did her best to help. One area in which she failed is to protect him from Granny. She could have contacted Social Services. Teachers have an important role in a student's life. They are like an extended family. The education system failed Allie. The teachers did not give support. They even turned a blind eye to the bullying.

The crazy doctor: She used subliminal messages so Allie would think that it's okay to be feminine and even babyish. She used drugs to make him smaller, stop puberty and weaker. While the crazy doctor is very sci-fi-like, there is an element of reality here. Some doctors promote transgender issues so much that you wonder how much their influence has on a child's decision. There is also a question if giving puberty blockers or hormones is best for the child. There is more and more criticism of that later. When is a child too old to decide? The question here is if we have crazy doctors or doctors with their agenda in real life. This is one character I could have expanded upon.

Bellas's Grandmother: She was important at the start of the story. She represents the grandmother or aunt in many stories that have no problem punishing the child or teen by petticoat dressing or age regression. I would imagine some readers would love this while it provoked others to think it was abuse. Bellas's grandmother gave Bella a home when her parents could not accept her, but punished her by regressing her as a baby. Maybe it was a blessing that Bella went to a boarding school. When it came to Allie, the grandmother did support him by allowing him to dress as a girl. So she was a person that had a good side and a dark side.

Father Immer: This is a coward in the story. He understood that Allie was different and feminine at times. He tells Allie that he is always there for him and Allie could talk with him at any stage. Allie does not do this. There was no trust. This trust was crushed when Allie was kicked out of the choir. He was afraid of other parents' reactions and fear because of a different boy and they could not accept this. Fr. Immer could have stood up for Allie and told these parents that he was not a bad influence on their children. It was easiest for him to kick Allie out. Yet, it took him a long time to kick a bully out. He took away the one bit of happiness Allie had and only wanted Allie back when he was more normal. Father Immer represents the church that should protect people but turn a blind eye.

Doctor Mary: She represented a person that listened to Allie and let him express himself. She offered him the help that he needed and had patience. She wanted Allie to find his inner self and accept it and decide for himself. She is the hidden hero of the story.

Billy: Being a big brother can be hard. Many readers did not have sympathy for Billy. He was jealous that Allie got so much attention and he could not understand why his brother suddenly acted and dressed like a girl. Billy was also finding his identity and had to deal with peer pressure, the media and whatnot. Billy had an important role in the story as a sibling that found it hard to understand and accept. He missed the attention he had when he was younger. He does end up accepting Allie and they become close. Billy will never have a good job and will most likely be single for the rest of his life. But he will do a lot of charity work and he will be close to his family.

Andrew: Andrew is the sidekick in the story. He challenges Allie's sexual identity. He is the best friend a person could have and at times, it's as if Allie takes him for granted. Andrew is the one person that did not go to Bellas's school. Still, this could be a good thing. Andrew now has a boyfriend and his school will change their policy on bullying. Andrew would have a good life. He will end up as an accountant and live with an older man. He will lose contact with Allie, but Allie would remain one of his fondest memories.

Mom: She was a very careful mom and tended to try to get answers from books and others. This is because she felt she was unloved as a child and not wanted. She wanted her family to be a close loving family. She has a son that suddenly dresses and acts like a girl. This must be a hard challenge for most families. Still, Mom does accept and support Allie. Some readers think she supported him too much. One thing that Mom's insecurity and wish for a happy family lead to is forgiving her sister for trying to kill her. I think the wise thing to do was to forgive but say you do not want someone that tried to kill you in your life or around my children. She was too kind in this situation. After her death, Allie saw his mother as a ghost. So did his Dad. Was she a real ghost? I will let this be an open question and let the reader decide.

Dad: This was a character that many readers did not like. He did not like the idea of his son being feminine. This is a normal reaction as Dads dream of doing manly things with their sons. He was also afraid of how Allie would be treated at school or by society. Dad's reaction was based on his ambitions and the love he had for Allie and how worried he was. This being said, his reaction was harsh and only made things worse. Allie did not believe that he was loved at one stage. Allies Dad does change and does his best to accept Allie. This was not easy but he does his best. His world falls apart when his wife dies and this can be understandable. It also shows that he found it hard to have empathy and be there for his children. In the end, he does take his role as a father and saves the family as well as thinking of a better future. Dad has an important role. He represents the parent that finds it hard to accept that his child is different, but in the end, his love for his children helps the family. He also has flaws and good sides, like any human being.

Granny: She is the villain of the story. She does love her children and her grandchildren but cannot show it or has no clue how to be a parent or guardian. She expects children to be perfect and like the children that we see in the 1950s. In other words, she sees them as trophies. When children do something she doesn't like, she has no problem punishing them. A good family for her is children that do what she says. Otherwise, she will use blackmail, threats and punishment to keep them in line. She does not care about children's personalities or happiness. She cares more about how others see her children and grandchildren as normal, well-behaved and good Christians. She lies, manipulates, and punishes, but does not see this as cruelty. The end justifies the means is her motto. She was finally kicked out and moved back to her house. She remains bitter for the rest of her life as she has no contact with her family. She thinks they do not appreciate the help that she gave and thinks the devil himself has corrupted Allie and her family. She ends up dying bitter and alone.

Aunty: She is who I consider the true villain of the story. She hates men and boys and does her best to convince Allie that he is a girl. She even takes him to the crazy doctor and tries to kill his mom. She does change her ways and is forgiven. She is more dangerous now as it's not so clear what she does and she hides behind the reformed aunt role. She was quietly given support to Allie and manipulated him more than Granny did. She even persuaded him to do a drag show. She made Allie feel more loved when he was feminine. She told Allie he could decide his identity, but she did her best to influence him. Aunty abandoned him and left him in the clutches of Granny. All in all, Aunty is a selfish person that resembles her mother a lot. She finds it hard to think of others and will try to manipulate and get her way. After she left Allie and Sarah, she started to work in an orphanage. This orphanage and Aunty will be part of the spinoff story that I plan

Bella: Bella and Allie had a special connection from the start. He could see that she was different and indeed she was. She was born intersexed but this never bothered Allie. He looked at Bella as a person, and not what her body looked like. Bella was Allie's main support at the start. She was honest and said what she thought. She wanted him to love himself, no matter what he wore or how he acted. She did prefer him as a girl though. She felt that she was not alone in being different when he was feminine. Many readers hoped that they would be romantically involved. This did not happen. Bella was Allie's soulmate and someone he could open up to. They will always be soulmates and best of friends.

Sarah: Some readers said that Sarah was their favourite character. In the beginning, she was a pesky sister. Sarah felt left out in the family. She had two brothers and at times she felt lonely. When Allie started to dress as a girl, then she liked this and this was because Allie spent more time with her. Sarah was also the first person to accept Allie as being feminine. She grew up a lot in the story and the sibling relationship became very strong. They supported and tried to protect each other. At times, they were more than siblings. They were a team and found strength in each other. The story started with Allie having talent and finished with Sarah being the most talented one in the family. She will always be close to Allie, and end up being a singer in her life. She will have children and be a devoted mother.

Annie: This was the hardest character to do and make believable. At the start, everyone thought that she was a bad girl which only hurt Allie more and more. Annie wanted to be one of the popular girls and she succeeded very well for most of the story. We all hated her when she treated Allie like a baby doll and wondered what did Allie see in her. Then we started to get a glimpse of who Annie was. The image she had at school was an act to protect herself. She admired Allie and his bravery but she did not want to be bullied like he was. She had a secret. She wet the bed herself and when this became public, she no longer needed the pretence and trying to be so popular. When Annie was allowed to be herself and not pretend to be someone else, she was likeable and even a good friend. She will end up marrying Allie and dedicate her life to human rights causes.

Allie: Would Allie have been feminine if his aunt did not manipulate him or if he was not brainwashed by the crazy doctor? The answer is no. This being said, Aunty and the crazy doctor just bought out feelings that were hidden someplace in him. He did not put up much of a fight. One thing to notice about Allie is he goes through several phases

- at the beginning, he was a normal teen with normal thoughts. There was some humour at the start which quickly was demolished.

- Allie was confused for a long time. He listened too much to what others thought and it took him a long time to reflect on how he felt or wanted. Allie was easily influenced and this only added to his confusion

- Allie finally decided he was genderfluid. He could act and dress the way he wanted. The problem was he had to deal with people's judgement and what society expected

- Granny finally manages to make Allie doubt and think that being different was wrong and immoral. Allie tried his best to be a boy. Still, he listened to others and this made his brain think too much. He could not see how unhappy he was.

- In the end, he decides it's his life and he decides. He does not care what people think. The darkness he had to go through was replaced with happiness and hope.

Allie also had flaws. He did think the world revolved around him. He also was capable of hurting his friends and family. These flaws do make him more human.

I believe that many teens are like Allie. They have one crisis after another and they are bombarded with messages from the media and others on how they should look and act. Despite Allie's weaknesses, he was very strong. Many teens would have tried to harm themselves or just surrender and be like others wanted them to be.

Allie did grow up in the story. He will be more happy and confident at the new school. He will end up working as a social worker and being married to Annie. Allie will always consider himself genderfluid. So he could be masculine one day and feminine the next day.

Thank you for reading this story. I hope you will like the upcoming spinoff story called “Orphan Petal”. I am so excited about this. Some of the characters here will have guest roles in this story.

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I'm not sure notes were needed

Angharad's picture

It felt like you were telling us how to feel about your characters.



that's why it was called "notes"
thanks for your comments