Orphan Petal 3

Orphan Petal

May 2023 - Part 3

This is the story of an 11-year-old who loses his parents and is now an orphan. He is bitter and mad at the world. His new life will change him in ways he never knew possible. Can he find himself and be happy?

This is a spin-off to the story "The Teenage Years of Alexander Horten"

This is one strange foster family. My stepmom must be one of those hippies we see on TV. She wants everyone to talk and share their feelings. This is very hard for me to do. I do not know why. My problems are private and did not want people to know about them. I think it will make me look like a wimp. This reminds me of Logan. I am very mad at him. How could he even ask me if I wanted to wear a dress? How dare he? I feel like he is working for the devil and trying to corrupt me. He may be a sissy freak but that did not mean that he had to try and make me one as well. I got mad at him. I should have punched him but just told him that I hated him. I think that this is how I feel about him. At least I am honest and say how I feel.

Foster Mom:
Logan and Shirley are not getting on well together. Logan told me he suggested playing dress up and Shirley lost his cool and even told Logan that he hated him. Logan was crying on my shoulder when he was telling me this. It did not help when Shirley came out and teased Logan by calling him a crybaby. Logan is a very sensitive child. He is different from other boys. I see this as Shirley's problem. He has to learn how to respect others. It is not just at home. Shirley has been mean to some children at the school. Maybe I need to bond more with Shirley so he can trust me more.

My Foster Mom suggested that we visit my parent's grave today. In a way, I hoped that I could be able to feel their presence. This did not happen. All I could see were two gravestones with their names on it. I did not feel that they were there. I do not know why people visit graves. Do they expect to see ghosts of their family walking around? My Foster Mom told me that it was OK to cry. I should let my feelings out. This was more hippie crap coming from her. I have cried when my parents were being buried and many times when I was falling asleep. I now accepted they were dead and knew my parents were looking down from heaven. They do not want me to be a wimp and cry for the rest of my life. I have my mother's necklace that reminds me she was always here with me.

Foster Mom:
Shirley has been here for less than a month and it has been hard for him to adjust to our family. It has been hard for him to accept Logan. Things will get harder now. Today Logan told me that he wants to be a girl full time. He feels as if he is in the wrong body. This means Logan feels he is transgender. He no longer wants to be considered a boy. I think Logan is brave for saying this. It cannot be easy telling the world that you consider yourself another gender than what you were born as. It is also brave because I don’t think Shirley will like this. Still, Logan is my son… I mean daughter and I will just support my child in any way I can.

It is wrong. Logan now wants us to consider him as a girl. I will not do that. He was born as a boy with a boy's body and he cannot just decide that he was born in the wrong body. I am pretty sure that God does not make mistakes. He can say he is a girl, but this will never be true. He will never be a girl. Every time he sees his body in a mirror, he will be reminded that he is a boy pretending to be a girl. I think the whole thing is weird as being a sissy is one thing but telling the whole world that you are a girl is another thing. I am certain that Logan is in some fantasy la la land. His mom is also there as she just accepts this. I mean she has no problem in speaking with that shrink lady about me as if it was me that was the crazy one. She should be talking to the shrink about her son and how crazy and weird he is. One thing is for sure, Logan is not a girl, no matter how much he shouts that he is.

I am happy that my parents have accepted that I am a girl. They all have accepted that I am transgender at school. I just need a girl's name. Logan sounds too much like a boy. The strange thing is that the only person who does not accept me as a transgender has a girl's name himself! Shirley tells me that he does not want to hear me say that I am a girl. He thinks it's just an excuse for me being gay. I don’t even think he knows what being gay means. We are not even teenagers yet. I know that Shirley doesn’t like me which can make things a bit tense at home at times. For the most, he ignores me and refuses to speak to me. I feel sorry for Shirley. It seems as if he is never happy and dislikes everyone.

Things are not going well for Shirley. He has no friends. I can understand this. He is becoming more and more like a bully. The others try to stand up to him. They mostly give him a hard time about his name and that he is short. Shirley lashes back with insults and sometimes violence. It makes me think about what his parents were thinking when they decided to give him that name. I have hoped things would go better for Shirley at the school. However, it seems like he is becoming more and more alienated every day that goes and the other students and teachers like Shirley less

Today I had no intention of going to school. They were nice at the start which I did not like. Now they either avoid me or give me a hard time about my name or how small I am. Why should I go to a school full of dorks? So I went down to the local park. There were some older boys there. They thought it was cool that an 11-year-old boy would want to skip school. They considered me like a little brother and said they would take care of me. I did not understand half of what they were saying because it was about girls they fancied. I had fun there as I did not have to deal with dorks. The older boys told me that school and families were a waste of time. Why should we spend hours a day listening to adults telling us what to do and what to think and being with other children who were strange as strange could be?

Foster Mom:
I am so mad. Shirley skipped school yesterday and decided to spend his day at the park. When I tried speaking with him, he told me to sod off. The boy is only 11 years old and is already acting like a teenager. I will be honest, I am at my wit's end. I knew that having a foster child would be hard. I just can't seem to get through to Shirley. I try my best to love him and be there for him, but his attitude makes it impossible at times. I will not give up on him. He needs love even if he does not want it.

Doctor Mary:
Shirley is not doing well at his foster home. He does not like Logan because Logan is transgender. He has no respect for anyone in the family. He is pretty much a bully at school as he is violent to anyone who teases him or is different. A teacher tells me that this was the same at the old school. This makes me think that it has nothing to do with the death of his parents. Shirley just is bitter and very judgemental. This shows me two things. The first is that he is not a happy boy and the second is that there is a side of him that we never have seen. Most likely he is not aware of this side of him. It can be something buried deep inside of him. How can we help him? Does he want to be helped?

Social Worker::
I visited Shirley today. I was not pleased with how things were going. Troubles at home and school. Being mean with Logan and the children at school as well as fallen grades. This is not to mention about skipping school. Shirley did not want to talk about anything. He just had a blank look on his face to show he did not want to talk to anyone. I believe that he is a good boy. I do not know if he is just bitter or confused. He can also be afraid. I told him that a lot of people are trying to help him. He has a foster family, teachers, fellow students, Doctor Mary and me who want the best for him. A lot of people have put in a lot of time and effort in trying to give Shirley a good life. It would be a shame if he could not accept and appreciate the help and support. If he does not settle down in a foster family, then he would have to go to Genesis Orphanage. They are the only ones that have a place. To be honest, that place creeps me out and I do hope that Shirley won't have to go there.

Why is everyone on my case? I skipped one day of school and everyone thinks this makes me a criminal. I do not like Logan because he is weird. I stand up for myself when they tease me or humiliate me. Then why do people think I am a bad child who does everything wrong? They even call me a bully. Is it bad to say that a boy who wants to dress as a girl is not right? or a boy at school who always looks untidy and has no pride in the way he looks is not good? Is it bad to say that a girl who only talks about kittens is weird? It's not my fault that some people are strange and I do not want them as friends or corrupting me. This does not make me a bully. I just say things the way I see them. I have always been this way and my parents never told me that it was wrong. Maybe my mother told me I should try to be more considerate to others a few times, but Dad always said I was a typical boy. If others could not see that I was just being normal, then it's them that has a problem.

Shirley has no friends at school and is getting to be known as a bully. He is a very hard child to like. I do not think I've ever seen him smile. Things are going downhill very quickly. Shirley has not skipped any more school days, which is good. However, he does not participate in classes and teachers say they suspect he is in another world. This could be seen in his grades. He failed the last exam he had done. When he started at our school, no one would have expected that he would fail a test a few weeks later. He was a grade-A student. I do not know what we can do as teachers. We try our best, but it is like talking to a wall.

I had the strangest dream last night. It was about a pretty girl my age. She had the nicest hair I had ever seen. The strange thing about it was that she wore a diaper. I never remember my dreams, but this dream I can remember. I wondered why she was so happy. Why did she wear diapers? Why did I want more about her? The strange thing is I did not judge her or think she was a lunatic. It was as if I wanted her to be my friend. It's a shame she is just someone in my dream.

I am positive that Shirley is not happy. I never see him smile and he never has anything good to say. He does not even say thank you when Mom cooks something nice. He is a bully. There is no other word to describe him. It makes me think that he is hurting a lot inside and will not tell anyone what it is. I do not think it's the death of his parents that makes him the way he is. I think the sadness and whatever he is hiding have always been there. Maybe Shirley does not even know what it is.

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