Out of the closet

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I had my coming out a few days ago. First I told my mother. Surprisingly she took it in the best way I could have imagined. She was so supportive and I'm so happy about this.

I also told my colleagues at work. Many people are giving me bad names now and offend me, but I don't care anymore. I feel alive. At last somethings goin' forward again in my live. Let them all hate and talk about me, it doesn't matter. I don't give a darn anymore.

I still have some big 'hurdles' in my way like talking to my brother about it. That's the one I'm most afraid of.

One of the guys at work gave me a name when I walked by today: Natasha.
Of course he meant it in an insulting way, but actually I liked the sound of it.
So I guess I'll go for it as a new name for my girl self.

This all which is now ahead of me will still gonna be a hard road to walk down...

So please wish me luck, girls.

Natasha

Natasha!

Andrea Lena's picture

I won't say welcome only because even though she just got her name, she's been around since before you were born. Happy enough to be in tears over this. Terrific news, dear one!


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Thank you, dear. I don't

Thank you so much, dear. I don't know what this whole thing will lead to (maybe I'll even lose my job because of this), but I feel so freed now. It is and will always be definitely worth it. - Finally...

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"Die Gedanken sind frei / Sie fliegen vorbei
Kein Mensch kann sie wissen / kein Jäger sie schiessen
Mit Pulver und Blei / Die Gedanken sind frei"

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"Die Gedanken sind frei / Sie fliegen vorbei
Kein Mensch kann sie wissen / Kein Jäger sie schießen
Mit Kugeln und Blei / Die Gedanken sind frei"

Coming out

A different process for each of us, but it tends to have similarities. I remember coming out to a couple of friends, and that was a real trial. I came out in quick succession to three couples, and the man in one of them took the great pain of calling me by my name from the start. That will always make me love him, if I didn't already.

The elation was wonderful, but the depression which followed nearly broke me. Nothing happened fast enough; all the effort I had put into telling my doctor fell apart in the chaos of spending restrictions.

Telling my boss was an accident; he made a joke about sex changes, and I just said "yes" and he said "Oh shit" and left it at that. No pressure, no criticism.

So, there I was, with a number of friends, a couple of colleagues, who knew, and I thought "**** IT" and realised that I really had no choice in matters. Be myself or die. I understand that this reads as cliche, but as I have said so many times. cliches are what they are because they are true. The first time I wrote a letter to a newspaper using my real name....

It's never easy

Angharad's picture

and don't let the adrenaline carry you too far in one go. This is your life so do it at your own pace, consolidating as you go. Meet anyone who's willing half way. Try to get plenty of sleep - it's exhausting as well as exciting. Try to win people over not fight them, use your feminine wiles, let them see you as courageous not stupid, let those who feel protective - protect you and get them to watch your back.

Finally, I wish you all the luck in the world - you'll probably need it, but it will be worth it in the end.

Angharad

Angharad

I commend your courage

It is something I will never have the guts to do. I think about it, but it isn't going to happen for me.

I suspect there are a lot of people who live lives of quiet desperation.

If it came to pass that medical tech could do true and complete makeovers maybe, but I don't see that happening in my lifetime either.

Good luck and God bless, not everyone will give you a hard time, but it will be hard to notice them in the background.

@ OddPOV

@ OddPOV

I don't plan on going through a sex change. I'm two meters tall. It wouldn't look any good. The most important thing for me, and the main reason why I had my coming out, is that I didn't want to be in the constant danger to be "unmasked" anymore. There were always rumors about me 'cause I of course never had a girl-friend. I had to watch my moves, my speech, my choice of words, to always play the tough dude.

After nearly twenty years of my life living this alter ego I simply couldn't stand it anymore. It nearly drove me mad. I was constantly frustrated, afraid and about to break down. In the end everything was so bad in my life that I drank whiskey like water every evening totally wrecking myself, unable to talk to anyone about my misery.

Now, as everyone knows, I'm so much better. I have nothing to hide anymore. I can behave and move how I want to. Surprisingly the whole shame about being what I am which I felt over all those years slowly but constantly fades away. I'm even not offended by their comments anymore.

I feel more relaxed now then ever in my life. I got all that pressure of me and can be now what I am. - O.k. It's not the optimum, but as close as I guess I will ever get to it. I'm free now. And for that I am willig and able to take all the harsh comments and the teases with a tolerant smile.

I've lived in the world of men for years, I know they HAVE to do this. It doesn't touch me personally anymore. And they also seem to get tired of it. Now as all is out in the open, it seems they're loosing the interest in hitting on me verbaly more and more.

I'm really glad I did this whole thing.

Greetings & thanks for the good wishes,

Tasha


P.S.
Thx for your reply and advise too, Raff01 :)

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"It's better to burn out then to fade away."

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"Die Gedanken sind frei / Sie fliegen vorbei
Kein Mensch kann sie wissen / Kein Jäger sie schießen
Mit Kugeln und Blei / Die Gedanken sind frei"

What you want

GID is a broad church. Different folks do differnet things, need different things. I can, as I have said many times, feel for some, but then I can't for others. I am far from perfect.
All I really NEED to say is do not decide your future based on whether you "pass" as a girl. That is not the point; genetics are a bitch. Do what makes you happy. End of.
Now, the way I came out at work was a stuff up. I used the computer to sort out my change of name, and pressed print. Unfortunately, the computer was set to another prinyer in another office. I did the usual 'practical joke' thing for a couple of hours, then just accepted what was actually inevitable. I had a destination; I was just out of the blocks quicker than I had planned/

I am not the ideal looking woman either, dear

I'm overweight with all my fat collected in a "beer belly", and I cannot afford to make any modifications to my body, so I will never be able to have SRS. But I am doing the best I can to make a life I can live with, regardless.

Dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Natasha

Raff01's picture

if the guy at work is older then 40, ask him if he's seen Boris, then in a bad Russian accent, tell him you must find moose and squirrel. And anyone who's ever watched Rocky and Bullwinkle is now humming that theme song. Sorry

But congrats and good luck.

...

-deleted-

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"Die Gedanken sind frei / Sie fliegen vorbei
Kein Mensch kann sie wissen / Kein Jäger sie schießen
Mit Kugeln und Blei / Die Gedanken sind frei"