Comedy

Groans From Timbuctoo: 2. Would You Kiss Her?

"Well," I said gruffly, blushing, "I'm not sure that I came up with it, but I call it the Kissing Test."

"Everyone seems to think it came from you; you might as well take credit. It's rather elegant... cuts through self-deception, political correctness, through what people believe that they believe..."

"Basically," I said, chiming in and warming to my subject, "it shows whether a person really considers Sammy to be a woman. While they might like to look at her, while they may want to touch her, while they might even want to have... ah... intimate contact with her, the one thing that *really* shows whether they regard her as a woman is if they say *yes* when you ask, Would you kiss her?"
 

4. The Madonna Of The Future

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Marcie struggles with her role of "action hero" — should she give it up and just be an ordinary girl? Is that even possible?
 


The Madonna Of The Future

copyright © 2011, 2012 Kaleigh Way — All Rights Reserved

The Madonna Of The Future: 6. You Hit A Girl!

People have often told me that I need to think before I act, but who had time to think? What on earth was I supposed to think of? What idea could I possibly have had, if I'd stopped for a moment? Someone was getting hurt! Badly hurt! And no one was there to see, but me.

The Madonna Of The Future: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

Stupidnoob

The little girl with the auburn pigtails moved silently down the passage in the dark tower keep. She was noticably small.

Actually she is full grown its just that she is a gnome. She is dress all in dark leather that is well oiled. Her intent is simple she is hungry and she knows that the mage of this tower has some food. Not that conjured food like her sister makes. Its ok has no taste and you get hungry again after awhile. No real food like fresh sweetened goats milk, or Roasted talibuk. The thoughts of such foods made her almost drool.

A Christmas To Remember

A Christmas To Remember
By Anon Allsop

I looked at her from the corner of my eye, she was definitely flustered but I could care less, she was their mother and the behavior of her children were her own concern...my problem was that they were most likely going to distract me with their constant banter and shenanigans throughout the entire church service.

My Hero

My Hero
By Anon Allsop

I slowly strolled by the dress shops, momentarily gazing into the windows and looking at the new styles from New York. I caught sight of my reflection in the window, blond hair askew and lightly floating in the gentle breeze. I straightened my light jacket and continued to walk down the sidewalk.

"How'd you like to wrap those long legs around me honey?" I glanced up, a man in a white tank top had settled in beside me. He was grinning like a hungry wolf. A soft breeze blew across my exposed legs and drifted up the cotton mini skirt I was wearing.

The Madonna Of The Future: 5. The Stink-Bomb Madonna

"Are you okay?" she asked. "Did she hurt you?"

"No," I said out loud. Silently I added, I think I gave as good as I got.

"Good," she said. "I assume you must have read at least a bit of that diary, or else you wouldn't have fought so hard to preserve your classmate's privacy."

The Madonna Of The Future: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

Groans From Timbuctoo: 1. Like A Big Pizza Pie

If I felt uncomfortable before, once we passed the midway point... "Let me put it this way," I said to van Els, "If you look up the word uncomfortable in the dictionary, you'll see my picture next to it."

"I'm sure it would be a lovely picture," one of the doctors told me. It might have been a nice compliment if he hadn't had his hand inside me as he said it.
 

The Madonna Of The Future: 4. The Mallory Variations

"Catch this one," Mallory said, spinning the tape rapidly ahead.

"No," Susan insisted. "I don't want to hear any—"

Mallory interrupted. "Hold on there. These aren't just any old, ordinary, run-of-the-mill farts," she explained in a low, confidential tone. "You won't find these farts on the street. These are special."

Susan scoffed. "And what makes them so special?" she asked scornfully.

The Madonna Of The Future: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

The Madonna Of The Future: 3. No Beating The Classics

She gave me a suspicious look. "You're not going to enter that goofy pageant, are you?"

I blushed. "Um, sure. Why not?"

Susan huffed loudly. "Why not? In the first place, it's degrading. I can't believe the school even does such a thing, in this day and age. In the second place, you can't win. And in the third place, you are not that kind of girl."

The Madonna Of The Future: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

Gaby Book 7 Chapter *40* Full House

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *40* Full House
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

Gaby Book 7 Chapter *39* A Part-ee

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *39* A Part-ee
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

The Madonna Of The Future: 2. Testing The Water

There was still one more shot I had to fire. "Maze," I ventured, "Do you think this Chrissie might be a gold digger?"

"I dunno," she replied, and I could almost see her shrug. "I guess she'd *have* to be to put up with my dad. But anyway, she's good for him. He's not as much of an asshole when she's around. I think they might get married."

I sure wasn't going to tell Ida that last bit of news!

The Madonna Of The Future: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

The Madonna Of The Future: 1. The Patron Saint Of Tea

Worst than the inconvenience and the noise, was knowing how easily they could expose me. If they started digging into my life, even just a little, they'd soon find out that only five months ago I was a boy named Mark. And they wouldn't just know it, they'd make it national news.

The Madonna Of The Future: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

Dual Controls (Original version)

Dual Controls
by mittfh
 
Copyright © 2011 Ben Norwood.
Creative Commons License  This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Licence.

On the way to a Halloween Ball, a boy meets a girl.... and a genie. What could possibly go wrong?!


Gaby Book 7 Chapter *36* Wup and Away

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *36* Wup and Away
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

Hallo- what now?

Vic and Chuck are back ~ With a Special Halloween adventure!

* REMEMBER - DRUGS ARE NOT COOL! DON'T DO DRUGS AND DON'T READ THIS STORY IF YOU'RE UNDER 18! THIS STORY FEATURES DRUG USE BUT DOES NOT PROMOTE IT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM! *


Hallo- what now?



~o~O~o~

"Trick or treat!"

"Trick or what now?"

"Trick or... treat!"

"Ummmmm... ok, what's with the costumes?"

"It's Halloween...?"

"It's Hallo- what now?"

The General’s Daughter Part 1

Christopher Weaver was a young urban professional of the least professional sort. A consulting detective, what he didn’t know, he could find out. Now what he didn’t know was small secret his parents had neglected to inform him about his birth, the joys and hardships of leaving the city and how dangerous a cup of coffee could really be.

Extreme Makeover

The following all started by accident.

“By accident?” I hear you say. “How can something like that be accidental?”

It’s simple actually.

It all stems from that old adage: “be careful what you wish for” and for Gary Jones, no truer words were e’er spake.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaby Book 7 Chapter *35* Fit For Nothing

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *35* Fit For Nothing
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

Accidental Magic - Chapter 27: Feedback Loops

Terri has a destiny, one that is still in the works for her, but already cemented in the past... or is it?

 

Accidental Magic
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Feedback Loop
 
By Allystra Krane

Gaby Book 7 Chapter *32* New Friends

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *32* New Friends
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

Starstruck! -6- Hero Worship

A Built-In What? Really?

Starstruck!

by Erin Halfelven

"Help me," Vicki asked Dan'l. The big man shook off part of whatever effect had left him out of sync with reality. The most beautiful, most desirable woman in the world wanted his help and he would help her.

Gaby Book 7 Chapter *31* A Good Heide-ing

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *3* A Good Heide-ing
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

Gaby Book 7 Chapter *30* Team Talk

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *30* Team Talk
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

Shaboom

Shaboom

by shalimar

As the Evil Witch, shalimar turns Giggles into his daughter. She then turns him into mom, and the fun begins. Based on Hyperboard messages around March 2001, and on a suggestion by Sigh.
New roles for the SRU Wizard and Bikini Beach's Anya.

Copyright 2001, revised 2011.

--SEPARATOR--

Starstruck! -5- Turn It Up to Eleven

Elvis Shops at K-Mart!

Starstruck!

by Erin Halfelven

Dan'l Broome did not get much done the day he found Vicki Starr sleeping in the pallet yard next to his shop. First there was getting acquainted and picking out splinters. Then there was finding something for her to wear. Then there was dealing with the fact that she wouldn't tell him where she lived.

"I don't remember," she said, her violet eyes large and innocent. "I don't know how I got here either or what happened to my clothes." She smiled up at him. "Must have been some party, huh?"

La La Land


La La Land


~o~O~o~

I've always wondered what would have happened if I never had went to the shop to get that juice box....
I probably would have dehydrated and died.
But that's not the point, because it was that juice box that changed my life.
It was apple, by the way.

Susie and Jeffrey 95 - 112

Uneasy Money

A 50,000 Word Romp

In a little self-indulgent preamble, Susie persuades Jeffrey to show off their latest comedy misadventure to a largely indifferent audience. After which, for those still interested, it's more of the same crazy dialogue and lunatic situations. Following an entertaining diversion on the way home, Susie and Jeffrey hit the treasure trail and lead their pursuers a merry dance before waltzing their way to the top of the Tower.

The 4X4 bounced on its wheels as our missile struck, caving in the roof above the driver's seat.

"Bull's-eye, Jeffrey! That's buckled their steering wheel."

"They'll be going home on the bus, Susie."

"It serves them jolly well right - pity about the window-box, though. It was probably someone's pride and joy."

"Look what they made it from - no wonder it had such an impact."

The shattered cement casing of the upturned planter revealed its humble origin.

"Ah, Jeffrey, do you know what we've done?"

"Yes, Susie, we've thrown in the kitchen sink."

"And we're not half finished - I hope we haven't peaked too early."

Nursery Drabble - Half a Pound of Lucy


Nursery Drabble - Half a Pound of Lucy

by Maeryn Lamonte

Melanie Ezell's big closet ultimate writer's challenge — Drabble Rabble

Half a pound

Half a pound of tuppenny rice,
Stick it in some old hose,
Pop them in the cups of my bra,
I'm a girl and nobody knows.

Nursery Drabble - Mary Had a Little Lie


Nursery Drabble - Mary Had a Little Lie

by Maeryn Lamonte

Melanie Ezell's big closet ultimate writer's challenge — Drabble Rabble

Mary had a little lie
Her body tol' the worl'
Although she was built like a guy,
beneath she was a girl

Nursery Drabble - Wee Willie


Nursery Drabble - Wee Willie

by Maeryn Lamonte

Melanie Ezell's big closet ultimate writer's challenge — Drabble Rabble

Wee Willie Winkie, face in a mess,
Staring in the mirror in his mother's nightdress,
Used too much makeup, feeling kind of down.
Wants to be a princess, but he looks like a clown

Nursery Drabble - Worm


Nursery Drabble - Worm

by Maeryn Lamonte

Melanie Ezell's big closet ultimate writer's challenge — Drabble Rabble

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me,
Think I'll get rid of my worm
Chop off my testicles, invert my scrotum,
See how it makes them all squirm

Gaby Book 7 Chapter *21* Cos-tume

Gaby Book 7 - Dress Up
Chapter *21* Cos-tume
by Maddy Bell

Copyright © 2009 Madeline Bell
All Rights Reserved.

 
 
Book 7 in the Gaby saga sees all sorts of action from our Hero/Heroine.

More action on the Bike and with the gang, getting into all sorts of trouble.

Just where will it all end?

Pink Daze

Pink Daze

“Mom! My shirt turned pink in the wash!”

“Oh dear. Well, you can wear it anyway.”

“Are you nuts? I hate pink!”

“Its just a color. Honestly, dear, nothing to get so upset about.”

“But my friends would laugh at me, mom.”

“You’ve got to be exaggerating. Nobody would laugh at you.”

“You don’t know anything!”

Melody Blossoms

Melody Blossoms
melody_blossoms_0.jpg
A free sample from my new ebook!
Harriet and her friends are at that age when girls blossom into young ladies. Except for Clarence. Clarence still needs a lot of help to reach his potential. Only Harriet understands his secret — deep down, he’s a girl named Melody. Gradually, Harriet and the girls coax their new friend out of his shell. Can they help Melody to blossom?

Dreamscape

Dreamscape

This is a stand alone story about unintended consequences with a dash of humor. It is the typical tale of warning that you should read the fine print. Our hero Bradley discovered the fine print too late.

Rights reserved by author with usage permission granted to Big Closet only.

~o~O~o~

Well-Stuffed Melons - Part 6 of 8

Well-Stuffed Melons - Part 6 of 8
by Charlotte Dickles

SYNOPSIS

Just who was it who'd suggested the title for the next performance of the amateur dramatic group? Because when the lead actress drops out, it leaves a vacancy for a big-busted woman to prance naked on the stage, which nobody wants to fill. Fortunately, being a lead actress is not all work and no play.

The complete story has been serialised into eight parts which will be published at approximately daily intervals.

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