Major Tissue Alert

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 8

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 8

*Before…

No…honey not at all there’s nothing wrong at all about being trans.”
(Sniffle-whine.) “There’s not?”
“No, not at all…you’re a girl. It’s just a pronoun, it’s just one little thing about you.”
(Sniffle.) “But I’m…I’m like…”
She is wiping at my face with a tissue now and that helps and I see this soft concerned but actually caring and maybe even happy? How? How can she be happy about this?
Here hand strokes my face and she kisses my cheek. “You’re alive Sarah. You’re still alive.”
And I start crying all of over again and it feels like this deep aching dam of stuff inside that I couldn’t really articulate like right just kind of breaks in me and lets go with this flood.
………….right now, right friggin now I’m Sarah and i…I really have a Mom.

*And Now…

Sweet Dreams-47...Tears Of My Childhood

Sweet Dreams-47…Tears Of My Childhood

Chapter 47

I’m doing the shivery weepy thing while looking at the spot that where my daddy is buried and I can’t, I can’t get just dad there in my head and I don’t know if it’s the ghost voice of the little kid version of me bubbling up in my head or that I’m really turning into that much of a girl.

And if that’s the case I’m here like this and he’s…he’s down there and…

It hurts…fuck it hurts like my throats all clenched up and someone’s sort of sitting on my chest and I can’t stop crying.

I’m not on any damned hormones yet, why can’t I stop crying!?

Then Alex holds me and I have a flashback.

Sweet Dreams-41

Sweet Dreams-41

Chapter 41

It’s been pretty much business as usual for the last couple of days since I found out about my dad and where he was buried and stuff and it’s been going to school and classes and Alex and I getting back to work too and him with his football stuff and it’s funny the whole thing about anal sex that Jen and I were talking about did end up with some very happy looking boyfriends and several girls that had ended up walking like they wiped their butts with a cactus.

Images 39

Images 39

Chapter 39

I move carefully and let Ingrid sleep there on the sofa and I slip across the hall to the bedroom and Taylor follows me over. Giselle looks at me with those big blue eyes of hers and pulls her fist out of her mouth and smiles at me. Once I’m in the bedroom I sit down on the floor and beckon her over with my finger and she smiles again and does this little squat down and up bobbing thing of just happy kid and goes. “Heee” and she start wobble walking to me and she comes right over and she hugs me.

Bridges 29

Bridges 29

Chapter 29

It’s so different I lived for so long not fitting into place then I figure it out and it’s a hard messed up journey to go on.

I’m Sam Chase and I’m a Post op transgendered woman.

I just asked my fiancée to marry me for Christmas and she said yes. And she’s happy, I’m happy but there’s this part of me that is still old Sam…guy Sam if you will that’s got this big grin inside. He’s finally in love, he’s got the girl of his dreams.

Sweet Dreams-32 The first cut is the Deepest.

Sweet Dreams-32 The first cut is the Deepest.

Chapter 32

……………It was cold and I could see my breath. Everything was just freezing in the place. There were drafts through the whole place because we lived in an old building that was in a bad place that no building checker from the city would like to go and we were too far out of the way for them to really care.

Sweet Dreams-19..So Snow White; Are you going to order the apple? Part 2

Sweet Dreams-19.. So Snow White; Are you going to order the apple? Part2

Chapter 19 part 2

* Alex’s Part……

Everything had started off really good and then Dad started in with his snide little remarks in the limo it was really cool seeing her fire right back at him. I was so proud of her for pretty much breaking her entire pay check to pay for all of the things tonight without dipping into anything else.

We ended up picking up some of my dad’s cronies Leon Panichi and his wife and their twin girls, Geoffrey Scanta and his mid life crisis. Then there was Aubrey Zane and his wife Debora, Deb was still someone I knew a little older than Geoff's mid life crisis but only a little. It must be a "thing" really only Mrs. Panichi and April were over thirty, but not over thirty five.

I knew the girls from the early days at the club and they went to a different school than I ended up going to and Scantha’s mid life crisis Anna was likely only around twenty if that I was soon getting barraged by questions and they had said they had spent the summer in Italy and started showing off just how good their Italian was.

The other’s joined in and I was fending off questions about me and Hunter and football and school and…Yeah…I fell for it.

The little look on Debora’s face as Hunter excused herself and left looking for the bathroom and the cutting little remarks. I see there’s these coy and bitchy little smirks between her and the twins.

Sweet Dreams-19..So Snow White; Are you going to order the apple? Part 1

Sweet Dreams-19...So Snow White; Are you gonna order the apple? Part One

Chapter 19

It’s just getting onto the start of evening and I’m looking down at Alex and he’s standing in front of the limo and the sun’s behind it and him and he’s dressed like that and the wind is blowing his dark hair to one side.

I know I’m just playing the part of a girl, well trying to be a girl now but the way that my heart does this huge heavy thud in my chest at the sight of him it's all girl.

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