Sam, Cousin Patti and Sister Monika were very close growing up; often enjoying playing dress up in girl's clothing when they were together... This would have been normal if Sam were short for Samantha, but Samuel was his given name... Patti had often said that Sam would be Patti’s Princess come her wedding day. That time has come and gone... Samuel Conrad is now at a crossroads trying to decide if being Samantha is the direction he wants his life to take.
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So just take your time, and be open.”
xxxxx
Chapter 1
I pack after Patti and Robert left for their Honeymoon and I wait for others to wake. Monika’s a good sleeper and not a morning person, so I am about done by the time she wakes. She is a little surprised that her little brother is still Samantha. “Does this mean you haven’t gotten around to changing or what?”
"I figured if I’m going to continue as Samantha, I might as well show up to my apartment so others get used to me.” Monika can see there are more and asks. “What’s up, Sam?”
“Patti said, Carol said, she knew about Samantha. This morning, when I asked some more, Patti gave me Carol’s information with a short note from her. I decided I will risk talking to my new employer as well calling Carol.”
“It sounds like my little Sister is going to stretch her wings and see where they carry her. I don’t live in the City, but if things don’t fall into place with your job, you have a place with me. I hope things work with Carol, but I think they have to work for you first.”
“Samantha, I won’t tell you what to do, but I can be serious as well as supportive when you want to talk.”
Mom and Dad call Monika about breakfast and she tells them she is with me, “Yes, Samantha.” So we are on our way down to have breakfast with them. Mom hands me a rose, “It is our olive branch. We aren’t making promises and we think you are still our Sam. However, with Monika’s encouragement, we’ll keep an open mind and support you.”
We order our breakfast and Mom gets up to go to the lady’s room. “Well am I going alone or do the two of you need an invitation?” I feel a tad uncomfortable going in the women’s room with my mother, but the earth doesn’t open to swallow me. By the time I am up to the sink checking myself I am natural for Samantha and Mom is enjoying watching her younger daughter.
My mother is an attractive woman, but she sees I don’t do things quite the same. “Would you mind if I give you some suggestions at times?”
“She’s quite an independent mother, you might want to ask Patti first.”
“Mother, I would like it, but I’d hope we could do something relaxing like shopping or lunch some time. Girl talk isn’t always easy for me and I want to be on my own.” Breakfast is good and our parents pick up the bill. I pay the tip. My parents are not happy that I am driving or going to my apartment dressed as Samantha. However, they don’t protest and they do wish me well as does Monika.
My sister tells me, “You better watch your heavy foot as you aren’t dressed for jail.”
“Do you think I am cute enough for just a warning?” Dad has a smile and looks like he wants to answer but he does not. I don’t ask but wonder what he until he says, "You visually pass for a girl until the officer checks your license and registration.”
Mother speaks up, “I suggest you look in the mirror and make sure the image and the voice agreed. You have impressed me with the consistency of Samantha’s voice. I can tell however that you and Sam are related. Your neighbors might think the same if they get to know both of you.”
Monika agrees, “I also suggest that Samantha get her own cell phone and use a different ringtone.”
Packing up was not hard, but leaving my family and the hotel is more emotional than I expect. I am ready to get onto the parkway but wondering if my makeup got messed. I do get some honks and waves from guys passing by. One car of two guys pass me and then slows up so I pass them. This happens twice until I pass them up and speed some more. Luckily they are blocked in as I hoped. I guess I look okay.
I go over to New York City from Jersey at Staten Island and the Verrazano Bridge into Brooklyn and over to lower Manhattan. Evidence of Hurricane Sandy is still very much in evidence. When I reach my apartment building on the East side, I am offered help on the street. I turn it down for now and go up to my apartment on the third floor.
It is nothing special though it costs more than I would like. It does have a second bedroom which would be nice for visitors or a person to share the apartment. Making my second trip up, I am met by Mary Court across the hall. “I thought someone said a guy has rented this apartment? My name is Mary and I will appreciate welcoming another woman to the floor.”
I am tempted to say ‘my brother Sam might be moving in’, but less said the better. She offers to help, “I have a couple of dresses on hangers; if you would help with those I’ll be very appreciative.” She smiles and locks her door before coming down with me. Upon seeing my car she asks, “Is this your car or a rental?”
I acknowledge, “That is a good question as off-street parking (five hundred a month) costs a lot even if it is said to be a good deal. My company is willing to cover half the costs as it makes me more versatile for them.”
“Woe, do you have to dress like this much?” Mary lifts my little white dress. I got it at the last minute it was all they had that was appropriate for my cousin’s wedding. I follow behind Mary with two modest size boxes.
“You certainly lucked out. Your cousin must have been a very pretty bride if she wasn’t afraid of you dressing in this hot number.” I smile in agreement. "I’m wondering if you might do me a favor, and stay up here in the apartment while I get the rest of my stuff?” She agrees; “I have one more request, that is you don’t try to help me by unpacking anything. I’m a bit private and would rather people don’t know all that I have?”
“Don’t worry, you don’t have a City accent but your attitude is good for living here.” I change into some flats and make about seven more trips up and down. Finally, I tell Mary, “I’m ready to take my car over to Giuseppe’s parking, so it will take me a bit before I am back. You are welcome to wait and we can do something for dinner or I can just thank you and ask what I owe you?”
Mary says, “What if I go with you and we walk back together. You look like a newbie and it is not the best idea for a woman to be walking alone. I suspect you don’t have pepper spray or have it in close reach.”
“I will appreciate your company and no, I am not carrying any.” “Let me get a light sweater and lock my apartment.” I lock up my apartment and were quickly on our way. It is just over a block from the apartment, and Mary knows where we’re going.
On the way back she pulls me into a small family-owned restaurant. “Hector and Maria, I want to introduce you to Samantha. She’s just moved in and lives across the hall from me. I want her comfortable to duck in here if needed and to know a good place to eat as well. …Samantha, Maria is the chief baker and runs the restaurant. Hector’s chief cook and does whatever his wife Maria asks. They own the business and their kids help as well. They must be busy because they’re not down here as usual.”
“Hello Samantha, I hope you are a good girl like Mary. If you’re hungry we can give you a good taste of things, what you like?”
I giggle and touch my waist. “I like not to put on anymore around my waist.”
Maria responds, “So, we talking a sandwich and salad or dinner?” “Do you like American Italian or Maria’s recipes; I take out the calories,” she giggled.”
Maria turns to Mary, “If you eat, I think she stays and eats too. We start with a salad then you decide. We have fresh spinach leaves and early strawberries with a vinaigrette dressing.” Maria brings me a cup of coffee, “You look tire so I bring coffee and water.”
The salad that comes has some egg slices, cheese, its aroma says the cheese is special. There is a plate of turkey, chicken, and salami to choose from. It would be sufficient for a meal but I am not sure I will get away with that. I just wonder what things will cost. It tastes very good which is nice but I suspect the prices are higher than I feared.
We are halfway through our salads and a waitress brings plates and a full set of silverware. Maria brings three dishes of vegetables and plates with stuffed pasta, others with flounder, roast pork and sirloin tips. I look to Mary with the realization they are giving me tastes of different entrees. I take a small portion of flounder, two stuffed shells and the sirloin tips with rice and fresh vegetables. I ask for a small glass of their house wine. I’ve taken a roll and even that could be a meal in itself.
A new waitress comes over and introduces herself as Samantha Perez. Maria comes behind her, “This is my Samantha.” She has many of her mother’s features long dark wavy hair, fine features, with a slender built. A smaller sister comes next to her ‘Sonia’ and a brother ‘Luis’. I am not sure which is older but soon find out Luis is older, his sister’s growth spurt has come early.
Sonia sits and stays with us as the dishes are removed. Maria brings a basket of bread, a plate of cheeses and refills our wine glasses. It is seven thirty by the time we leave; the clientele has turned over at least once. I seek to pay for both our meals to find out Hector says, “It is our treat tonight.”
It is eight when Mary follows into my apartment. “I need to ask a question, but please don’t be alarmed. There are some small men’s shoes in your kitchen, are they a brother’s, boyfriend or yours?”
I am tempted to ask, ‘How can they be mine?’ I sense she knows and feel I owe her the truth. “They are mine and I am sorry if I offend you.”
“The extra glass of wine and your truthfulness help my new experience. How long would you have gone before you told me?”
“I didn’t plan or think out what I’ve done.”
I explain how my cousin got married and wanted me as her “Princess” for the wedding. And how I have remained as Samantha to contact an old girlfriend and begin my new job.
“If this comes so natural to you, I think your cousin Patti knew what you are still waiting to see if it is true. You say Sam has trouble with his speech and keeping a conversation. I believe I am visiting with someone whom I think is more naturally a woman. I am not sure how I will think about you tomorrow or later this week.”
My phone rings and Monika is calling, “One of my neighbors, she is here in the apartment with me. I think it may now be Sam who would have trouble showing up here. …Yes, she figured it out but she indicates only small things would cause another woman to wonder. She’s shaking her head yes again. …I think she wants to talk to you, Sis.”
Mary “Her sister Monika yes? …Sorry but I only know Samantha. I just want some assurance that your brother/sister is not to be feared as being a crazy nut case. …I already told her I can’t promise about tomorrow or down the road. But I’d have no trouble seeing her in that white evening dress she had me carry up to her apartment. …Yes, even after a long day she puts many of us to shame. …Though I’m not sure why she’s shaking her head no. Oh, I could only hope that is true.”
“I have to be at work by eight thirty, but if she wants my opinion before I leave, yes I think I could do that. I should give you back to Samantha, but I hope to meet you sometime.” Nika and I talk a few minutes.
Nika and I talk a few more minutes, I end the call so I can thank Mary and say goodnight before she leaves. Mary, you have been a godsend thanks for helping me get settled in and meeting the Perez’s.”
“It was my pleasure, they really took a liking to you? I suggest you take off another ten to fifteen pounds and just be Samantha. You’re a good woman.” She sits back down, “Before I go tell me about Carroll or better yet call her and I will be here to support you.” I take out my phone but resist calling until Mary takes it out of my hand. She asks is Carroll Stone her name?” She’s now listening, “Hello Carroll Stone, I’m a neighbor of an old boyfriend and she’s too scared to call you.”
I can hear over the phone, “O my how does she look? No, I’m sorry…”
“I can’t tell exactly what Sam might look like, but Samantha is cute and either way, I think your friend is still in love with you.”
I take the phone and tell Carol I am sorry. “I am sorry, I didn’t know what to say, but I didn’t mean it to be this way.”
Carol says, “I’m sure you didn’t, but I am surprised you’re out to your neighbor. You must be a bit more confident. Are you in the city?” I tell her where I live and am ready to tell her about Cousin Patti when we lose connection. I’m trying to reconnect but if I get through the call disconnects as she picks up. I am frustrated and Mary is laughing thinking it is comical, but I am losing patience.
I finally get Carol on the phone and the dumb doorbell rings. But I don’t worry as it can’t be for me as no one knows I’m here. I say, "Carol" as does Mary as she pushes a button. I put a finger over my other ear and finally understand Carol to be saying, “Turn around Sam.” I do so to see Carol standing there looking at me.
Carol says, “O you’re precious Samantha; I am not disappointed to see you.” Carol is more beautiful than I remember. We quickly grab with both hands. I’m embarrassed and look down. Her hand gently touches my chin to raise my head. She gives me a kiss; the kiss does not last long but Carol’s passion catches me by surprise. She’s backing me up, she’s speaking to Mary, and Mary is soon gone.
“Don’t mind me Samantha but we’ll talk more in the morning.”
“But you just got here?” Finally, I realize she’s staying when my dress is about to fall off. After I step out of it, I feel her hands glide along my back and my bra comes undone. I begin to lift Carol’s top over her head. Carol helps me to roll open the sheets and we slide in together. The nicest thing is we don’t end up making out. She enjoys caressing me, “Sam, does Samantha love me too?”
The room is dark and I can see the light gently on her face, lips and her soft breasts. “I’m not sure you want to hear this but yes, I love you.”
“You tried on my clothes before too didn’t you?” It sounds more like a statement than an accusation. “I hope you won’t mind if I enjoy dressing you up some?” She gives me a light kiss as she is halfway over me, I feel her breath as she whispers. “I knew if I received you back into my life these moments would become part of it.
I tried once to move so I could take my gaff off and make love with her; neither Carol or Samantha is interested in that tonight. The night moves along and it is not until it begins to dawn that I finally awake from sleep. But I just roll over.
I hear in the morning Carol calling her work, “Catherine, I’m wondering if it’s not too busy if I could be late or even take the day off. Someone has come to town and I would like to take time with him... No, I’m not sure but we could drop by near the end of the afternoon if you insist. Yes, I would say she has changed. Yes, you heard me right, but seeing is believing, till later then.”
“So Sam, are you thinking of going to your new job as Samantha?” She stares at me waiting for my answer. “Where is work and what will you be doing?”
“I will be working for Kelsey Fashions and Designs, it is part of a larger group we work with retailers as well as high-end specialty stores in fashion and more. Yes, it is my intention to call the Vice-President and see if I could work as Samantha part of the time. I’d like to meet with her today so she’s not shocked and so I can transform if it wouldn’t work out.”
“Then you better call her and arrange a time this afternoon. I would be willing to help you to present yourself properly. Plus you and I need to visit.”
“But I thought you would like to visit with Sam.”
She smiles, “I already am visiting with Sam. The two you present different visions of the same Sam?” I am slow in responding,
“You are uncomfortable with me liking you as Samantha, aren't you?”
I seek to buy some time by calling Kelsey Fashions, finally while Carol looks in another direction I make the call. “Hello, may I speak to Ms. Jennifer Michaels?” Yes, that would be fine thank you?
“Hello, my office manager is gone at the moment, can I help you?”
“Yes, I would like to talk to Ms. Jennifer Michaels. She hired me for a position I am to start Friday and something has changed. I would like to talk to her about that”
“Yes, I have a person starting Friday, but your voice is different are you Sam Conrad?”
“Oh Ms. Michaels, Oh, I’m quite embarrassed.”
“You needn’t be. I have some time near the end of the day. I am excited about meeting you.”
“Yes, I could be there at three o’clock. I’m just not sure… mmm, thank you I will see you at 2:00 then, yes I’m anxious to see you too.” I am shaking and Carol has to take the phone out of my hand. Carol is giggling and I am having trouble seeing straight or anything as funny.
Carol has hung up or put away much of my clothes; “I like the few girl clothes you have. We need to get a bite of breakfast and then get you some more clothes, some clothes that will be appropriate for your meeting with Ms. Jennifer Michaels.”
“I take it, your Sister Monika knows what you are doing?”
“Yes, but why do you say that?”
Carol is patient with me, “Well, your cousin Patti should be on her honeymoon, so that would leave only your sister to fall back on. I don’t think you would have the nerve to anticipate me being there for you.”
“I’m sorry but I could do it on my own.”
She says, “That would be great and I hope it’s true. Getting the job and being good at it, very good would be no surprise. But knowing you are good enough to do it as Samantha that would show some growth; some real growth; I would be favorably impressed.”
I’m kind of offended, yet on the other hand, I’m kind of hearing Carol complimenting the person before her. I grab a cup of coffee and sit down. Carol is with me; she’s looking at me and smiling. “Samantha, I don’t mean to put you down and I see a spark in your eyes that use to be there.”
“Let’s not take a lot of time to fresh up; we need to find a place to eat.”
We were at Perez’s and Maria welcomes us. “Miss Samantha, it is good to see you and your friend, introduce me please.”
“Maria, meet Carol she’s a special friend. She has come to help me settle in. I think we would like some fruit and something you have baked for this morning.”
“Good, I like our friends to order what they want and not a number off the menu. Could I get you some coffee or juice?”
Carol speaks up, “Would you have any pineapple juice, I would like that and coffee.”
I say, “I will take some water and coffee, thank you.”
“Maria,” Carol asks, “Where are the young professional women going for something smart, not the run of the mill office skirt ensembles.”
Maria writes down two names of stores. She comes back; “I know Teresa is at this one she will be happy to help you.” Our fruit, croissants and breakfast cheeses are served. Maria leaves us alone visit.
“Sam, Samantha where did you pick up the mannerisms and speech?”
I frown, “I’m not sure, but I’m afraid I will wake up and I will be Sam flopping around dressed as a girl.”
Carol smiles and giggles, “That is good that you’re indicating this is not a put on act.”
“But what if it goes away?”
“Samantha, it would have been worse if it were an act. You would then be sure to goof it up. Do you know your sizes?”
“Like being a size eight in some clothes, eight in shoes or a 34B?” Carol looks around, “Yes that is very good, I didn’t expect my old boyfriend to know all that from memory already.” She’s giggling about something else and it is driving me crazy.
I ask, “Now what are you finding amusing?”
“I am not sure where to start, but right now I am finding the fact that you are not chomping down your food and already done.” She smiles, “You are also listening to my tips on shopping for skirts and dresses. I thought you would at least ask about a nice blue tweed pants suit.”
“When did you do your fingernails last,” she asks?
“I think maybe Mary did them yesterday, but I’m not sure.”
“Well if it was Mary, I am sure it was yesterday,” she smiles. “I hope you realize if you boss Ms. Michaels is comfortable with you as Samantha; she just might prefer you are Samantha all the time. Would you be comfortable with that?”
Carol is encouraging me, “Sam, when a Vice President usually hires a college grad, even with your master’s it means she wants you for something special. If not right now, she has good plans for you. You are still untested but she wants you in to figure if you are special enough or a risky flake.”
“Carol, should I be scared?”
“Unless you were very timid when she hired you. You are very good if you believe in something. You are as smart as you are pretty and this is a woman who has hired you so I expect she is also confident.”
“If you are finished, I will let you pay for the bill. Then we can get your wardrobe for work.”
To Be Continued...
2nd in the Trilogy
We get to Macy’s and upon getting to the women’s clothing section we ask for Teresa. Teresa is a cheerful looking woman, sharp in her dressing yet conservative enough she doesn’t outdo her customers. “Hello, I am Teresa, how may I help you?” She has dark hair, probably fifty or late forties and has a zest to her that is infectious.
“I um, I’m not sure, Maria… Maria Perez suggested you.”
Carol breaks in, “Pardon her, but Samantha’s new in town and she needs some clothes for evenings out and some nice clothes as a businesswoman. She is in clothing and design she would like to be appropriate for being in middle management but not seen as a wallflower.”
“Well she is an attractive young woman and I’m hearing you say her clothes and accessories should be fitting for her position as someone they will recognize and see as an accomplished young woman on the rise.”
“Samantha, I am here to help, so please tell me what sizes you wear, what you would like to look at in the way of skirts, dresses, pants, also tell me your preference for colors. I can also help find various colors and looks that work well with you.” I pause again trying to process the decisions that are new for me as Samantha.
Carol, “She says a size eight in most clothing and her shoes and is a 34 B bra. If she takes after her mother she should be well into a good C even before she has children.” Teresa laughs about her breast comments. “Skirts and blouse ensembles as well as a couple dresses. She can come back sometime and look at slacks and jeans. Things for out on the town can be shorter and more flattering, while her work ensembles should be attractive yet not have things that can cause problems for an active woman working over a designing table or get in her ways like long ribbons or sleeves that are too long or loose as she works with models or mannequins.”
Teresa takes us to look at clothes for work; there are a variety of skirts with Teresa showing me about three skirts at a time, letting me have a good look and to ask questions. She builds up to two plies of three skirts in each. For each of the three she presents the various colors and thus not only can I like the skirt, but get to choose the colors I like best.
There’s a pencil skirt brightly colored for the summer yet not overpowering. I try it on liking the look but find too restrictive. Teresa asks, “Please try another skirt while she pursues another idea.” The next is a medium blue, a bit more of a full skirt. I like this one very much. As I am ready to go back and change she hands me a knit pencil skirt in a color similar to the previous one. It fits nicely having some give that Carol says moves as well as looks more flattering. This one goes as very probable. Out of the six, I’ve found four that I will buy and seven blouses and tops with one or two that flatter each skirt as well as work nicely with other clothes.
By this time I limit myself to one dress and then select panties, bras. Carol insists I get two nice watches and I select a choker and a necklace bracelet set as well. Neither of us watches the time until I select a watch, as I had not been mindful of the clock.
It is time to check out, get back and change for my meeting with Ms. Jennifer Michaels. Carol has me to shower and start to get ready first. She has made me a small sandwich and poured a drink of water for me.
I am out of the shower when she pokes her head to encourage me to move it along. “No, do not dry yourself like that, pat dry and make sure you.” She feels a leg, “Very nice, do you like how it feels?”
“That feels embarrassing.”
My first work outfit is simple yet sharp gray full skirt that reaches to my knee with a flare to allow unhindered movement within good reason. The blouse is a light blue print set off with a white jacket with blue trim that works well with the skirt. It’s not a suit jacket but smaller. I like how the sleeves come just above the elbow and jacket is not meant to be buttoned. I turn to Carol and get affirmation on it being a good selection.
“I remember in college when girls were jealous because you have such a good fashion sense. They always liked the clothes gifts you gave me. Now you will be the benefactor of your own good taste. I also like your selections in putting on your make-up. Though, I should help with a few touch-ups. It is nice to return the favor.” Carol helps with more than a few and sees I am watching closely. I know I need to become self-sufficient.
We are to Kelsey Fashions and Design some five minutes early. “Hello, are you, Samantha Conrad,” Ms. Michael’s receptionist asks? “I would like to take you back to her office. Ms. Carol Stone, I’ve been asked if you would mind sitting out here for a while and then she will invite you back if Samantha is comfortable when they’re ready.”
Carol whispers as I both smile, “It sounds like Jennifer Michaels is expecting a favorable outcome to meet Samantha.” Mrs. Anderson, the Receptionist, first introduces me to Ms. Stengel, Jennifer’s Office Associate and then continues taking me into Jennifer’s office, a corner office suite on the seventh floor. “Please relax and don’t act surprised as Ms. Michaels is a young but savvy executive.”
Mrs. Anderson served me well in her suggestions as Ms. Michael’s looks like she could be in her early thirties, though I was expecting she would be closer to forty-three or so. She stands up and is coming to greet me. We take hold of both hands and she gestures for me to be seated. While I go to the nice chair she points to I wait for Ms. Michaels to begin to sit before I follow in kind.
“Well Ms. Conrad, I bid you welcome to Kelsey Fashion and Design. I see a slight resemblance to Samuel; I am impressed with your coming in and sharing yourself. You have caught us a little off guard. While your credentials are impressive, our line on you is that you tend to be cautious and very reserved in presenting yourself. Seemingly you are not quite there as a young woman.”
“I was not expecting to step-out like this but decided I better be upfront. I also want to present myself so you know me, so I might know if this will work out or not. I am willing to change back if need be or to walk away if I would be let go.”
“I was glad when I first heard you were calling as I need to be in New Haven on Monday and thought you might accompany me. But I didn’t know of Samantha at the time. I am favorably impressed with how you are presenting yourself.”
Samantha, “I would be flattered to go with you, I am sure I will learn much in your company. May I ask if we would be meeting with particular general retailers, or making presentations with larger specialty stores or wholesalers?”
“Samantha if you don’t mind my saying you are quite anxious, though astute in listening and thought. I would like you to relax and share something of yourself before we continue on? Would you mind if I ask for two cups of tea or ice tea to be brought into us?” I smile and she is quickly making the request. “Are you comfortable with me asking about Samantha and sharing some thoughts of my own?”
“Ms. Michaels, I am surprised to be here as Samantha. It wouldn’t have happened last Friday, but I honestly think I am the best one to show up for the job. I have the same knowledge as Sam, but more understanding and joy for the job.”
The cups of tea are delivered with two scones; I soon have my cup of tea and half a scone on a napkin on my lap. “I expect I will need to prove I am not insane or a freak.”
Ms. Michaels speaks up, “When I first acknowledged the love of my life is another woman, I too expected it might impact my position with the company. But I already know about the myths behind that thinking.”
“You don’t need to prove as much as confirm that you are as good as we hope. I look forward to your starting here Friday. And I would still like you to accompany me to New Haven on Monday. Though, I am not yet sure how we will be traveling.”
“I could drive, but I am not sure you would like my Mustang.”
“Why wouldn’t I want you to drive us in your Mustang?”
“It will be too small if anyone else is going, plus an executive should be free to work on whatever she has as well as to check presentation items. It would be more fitting to take you in a Chrysler 300 or a nice Lincoln with wireless capability.”
“Yes, we will have an assistant with us. I would like you by 10:30 Friday to have the cost and availability of such transportation. I will tell you more about the trip then.”
“I will be upfront; I hope this is how you will present yourself. There is no room for embarrassing Kelsey Fashions. If a client has problems with you about your gender they can take that up with me. As long as you are professional we will be able to deal with that. I think it would be better for you to be consistent in presenting yourself.”
We talk on and have a great visit. “Before I excuse you for the day, I would like to meet your friend. Is it she or someone else I could thank for helping you to present yourself today?”
“Yes, Carol helped me getting a wardrobe and checking how I put myself together today. She is a former girlfriend maybe once again, but that is not a given.”
Jennifer shows me around the floors that make up Kelsey Fashions, ending at my office and our departments major working areas. “Ms. Anderson could you have Ms. Stengel and Sheila meet us in Ms. Conrad’s office.” She then turns to me, “Sheila will likely be going with us Monday and Ms. Stengel as my Associate will be in charge here.”
“Ms. Stengel this is Samantha Conrad and she will formally be starting Friday. She was gracious in presenting this side of herself to me today. I am very sure she will fit in and make her mark even better than we hoped. Ms. Conrad, I think you will find Ms. Stengel as capable as myself and good to work with as long as you take up your responsibilities, are productive and represent the Kelsey well.”
“And this is Sheila Woods who will be accompanying us Monday. She also likes the idea of a good vehicle for traveling to customers and conferences when possible. She can tell you the two companies we generally work with and who you will be advised not to work with.” Sheila smiles and greets me warmly. I am guessing she is one or two years older than me. We visit another ten minutes before they are excused and Carol is called back to my office.
My office is a nice fifteen feet wide by twenty feet long which seems very large; except it will be a working office with a fitting/modeling platform, my regular desk, and chairs as well as a designer’s desk and layout area. Ms. Anderson brings in some official papers, my business GalaxyIII phone, as well as hands Michaels a company credit card for me along with a voucher for up to purchase what is needed to finish out my office.
Carol’s mouth drops open as she enters my office. I smile and gesture toward Carol, “Carol please lift your jaw; I would like to introduce you to Ms. Jennifer Michaels the Vice President of Kelsey Fashions and Wholesale and Retail Operations. Ms. Michaels this is my very good friend Carol Stone; you two already talked on the telephone.”
Ms. Michaels speaks up to conclude our time. “Would tonight or tomorrow night work better for dinner with Darla and me? One should dress nice but for fun and not the business.” I look at Carol.
“I need to get back to my world tomorrow, so if I’m invited, tonight will work better.”
“Good, tonight at 7:00 p.m. then; I will have Ms. Anderson make some reservations and get word to you where we should meet.”
Carol waits for her to be down the hall before she turns to me. “I like her she is not old enough to be your mother and yet old enough and she has a good head on her shoulders. Seemingly she is comfortable with you. The receptionist said you were given the larger of the two offices available.”
“I wonder if that might change now that she has met me.”
“It is my understanding that was a change within the last half hour. I take it she not only likes you but is very comfortable with Samantha.”
“Yes, but as you said, she would like it if I am consistent in presenting me as Samantha.”
“So who is Darla that we will be dining with tonight?”
“I am not fully sure but I suspect it is her lover or spouse.”
Carol smiles with a pleasant surprise look.
Carol asks me to drive to my apartment and to pick up what I need for the evening. She wants us to get ready at her place and hopefully for me to spend the night with her. My only problem is I’m not sure what I need.
There is a fifteen-minute loading area, so I park and Carol comes in to help me. Mary is out to greet us in the hallway. She’s happy to see us but disappointed we don’t have time to visit. She is excited seeing me take the while dress yet disappointed she won’t see me in it.
Just before we leave, Mary asks if she can wish me well. When I say yes, I’m not expecting the mouth to mouth resuscitation kiss I received. I did kind of enjoy it. Sam has never gotten attention like it. I worried a little about Carol but it wasn’t my doing.
Carol’s section of Brooklyn is pretty nice and her apartment is up on the seventh floor with a very nice entryway and elevator. Carol even had a friend’s place where I could safely park. We get everything up to her apartment in one trip.
The first thing I want to do is to take my high heels off, mostly because I want to wear them again tonight. Carol is helping me out of my outfit saying we have two hours before we need to get dressed again. “So why are you so set on getting me undressed?” I ask the question, realizing how dumb the question is.
I am backing up as Carol advances; I am not prepared for her to make advances on Samantha. It is not that I am not interested. It’s just, my mind and ego are having two very different trips about Carol liking me. Seeing out a window, I’m distracted realizing it is wide open for someone to look in and see us.
“Carol don’t you have any modesty, people could see in here?”
“Well, you should be flattered this would be more than Biology 101.” I know what she’s saying is funny and I am usually a jokester, but I’m not used to joking about girl stuff especially since I’ve never been a cute girl in someone else’s eyes.
Carol backs me into a corner and begins to turn me on like playing a beautiful violin. “Samantha please understand not only do you look like a beautiful young woman. What I’m doing is to excite another young woman, not a man.”
“Ms. Michaels, I think very strongly sees you as the woman you present yourself to be. I don’t think she would be amused to see a conflicted guy tonight still in denial. It would be very unusual for her to invite us to share the evening with her love.”
“But it’s true I am not sure who I am?”
“To say we’re not sure where our relationship is one thing, but what I aroused physically in you is your clitoris, near the base of your maleness. If I go with you tonight it will be with me seeing you as Samantha; you need to know that. And I have a strong desire for the person I believe you to be.”
Carol continues, “Let me ask you something serious, does working with women’s fashions personally excite your juices?”
“You’re meaning something deep down more than sexually? You brought up something like this before we went our separate ways. That was especially intense then and I had to that summon all my strength to say no that night; was that part of the reason you left?”
“I thought we had shared a powerful time and I felt crushed that you couldn’t trust me. We were alone and I wasn’t making any demands on you changing or promising anything. Who you are turned my world upside down. Truthfully, I am not so worried about you disappointing or misleading Jennifer Michaels. But I wonder to myself if this is déjávu for me all over. You called me but if you plan to string me along it is tying a knot in me. I don’t mind hurting for you if it doesn’t work out between us. But I am as much your best friend as someone deeply in love with you.”
I want to cry to get Carol’s sympathy, but that would be me playing it safe and playing with her heart. I begin to shake, “You are right Carol; it excites me deep in my soul. Before the adrenaline was more an academic and creative game. I have chosen this and I enjoy the burning it brings to my senses. I can smell subtle changes in fragrances. I love stroking not only the beauty of a woman in a beautiful dress, moving her to exercise her power and mind that open doors to what she wants to be. I believe it because I feel its true for me. Yes, I am afraid tonight like the time I disappointed you before.”
“I want guarantees about how things will turn out when I step out. I know, no one not even you then or now, can guarantee that, because it doesn’t come with a guarantee. I am excited about going out tonight and I am glad you know I will be almost as scared as I am excited.”
Carol and I take a warm and wonderful time together before turning our attention to tonight. I submit to Carol’s leading and realize the difference between Sam and Samantha loving Carol. The time is wonderful, yet I am already wondering about how it might be in the future. I want my real nipples to be brushing across Carol’s. I want to take my time, get I want to get ahead of where we are.
I’m putting on the little white dress and realize that even now the dress is looking better because I am carrying myself better as a woman. My necklace and earrings are a simple gold and ebony yet look eloquent. My 3 ½” heels have my legs looking great.
Out the window, I hear a whistle and across the way, I see a boy who is probably not even twelve. I catch his eyes and he’s embarrassed to be caught looking, but he doesn’t look away. I call to him, “Do you think I look that nice?”
He shyly says, “Yes, but please do not tell on me?”
I ask his name and he tells me, “Johnny Henry”. We talk and I learn he’s eleven and has two brothers and two sisters. He’s the youngest. When Carol comes back in the room I confirm Johnny Henry is his real name. “So is he one of your student admirers?” She giggles when I tell her I was only teaching the 101 class. We both appear before the window as we are ready and get Johnny’s approval for the evening.
“We are going to Ferraro’s.” Carol informs me, “It is a very, very nice place with atmosphere and very good food. It is even better as one does not need to put on airs of pretense. We will, however, need to inform people at the door we are with Ms. Michaels, as it is a club of sorts where one need to be known by the establishment.”
My car is parked for the night at Carol’s and we take the taxi to Ferraro’s. Ferraro’s has a very nice entrance from where you take the elevator to the twelfth floor. A maitre de greets us shortly after we step off the elevator and shows us to Jennifer’s table and Jennifer quickly introduces us to Darla Fischer-Michaels. She kindly asks, “Jeffrey (the Maitre De) please approve Samantha Conrad here as a regular if you would. She is under my sponsorship. The dinner is a delightful blend of good food and goes well with our great visit. We move to the lounge with a nice dance floor. Some men, as well as a woman or two, want to share the evening. While it is a fun evening it is not a night to share with others. Instead of around a tall table with stools, we are sitting in comfortable furniture, casually visiting and dancing now and then.”
Upon leaving, I turn to Carol and ask, “What was this evening all about?” Carol has a puzzled look that relaxes into a smile and soft laugh. “You still think like a boy? She just wants you to feel welcome; there wasn’t a hidden agenda from what I sensed.”
When we get back to Carol’s place and settled in, I am again getting anxious. Carol pulls me into the shower and it is a great time in a relaxed sort of way. Once we are ready for bed, Carol pulls me in. “Relax Samantha, just learn to relax. I love you but love is much more than sex. While I do need to get up and to work in the morning, a quiet evening with you is one of my dreams of a beautiful time in bed with you.”
I relax and enjoy a little light silhouetting her face; her breath is like a welcomed breeze. I am in her arms and at first, I am uncomfortable thinking it should be the other way. Her hand gently slides down my back and suddenly I am enjoying being her girlfriend.
Come, 6:30 in the morning I awake to my phone. It’s Patti, “I am so glad to hear you are still Samantha. Please don’t tell me you are still in bed?” I look around and Carol is finishing getting dressed and smiles at me. “Who's there with you,” Patti asks?
“You just woke me up at Carol’s and she is already up and getting ready for work. I don’t begin work until tomorrow.” I can hear a purr in Patti’s voice. “Yes thank you, we are back together. We’re going to see where life takes this love of ours.”
“So is it Cousin Samantha from now on?”
“Patti, you might not believe it, but I drove up here from your wedding, I went to meet Jennifer Michaels at work, she’s my top boss, I’ve shopped in the Big Apple and added to my wardrobe and I enjoy being with Carol very much. With all that I am happy to tell you I am going to take this one day at a time. I have a hope where things are going, but I expect surprises and make no promises.”
Carol gives me a nibble on my ear, “I need to get going soon. I want you to know you are welcome to stay, to be here tonight but I agree it is one day at a time.”
I scoot out of bed carrying my phone talking to Patti but seeing if Carol has had anything for breakfast. I watch her do her makeup. “Patti, I need give some attention here, I miss you and glad to hear that he has been the greatest part of your honeymoon so far. …No, you can’t assume I will be her godmother. I love you too, good-bye for now.”
“Carol, would it be okay if I stay to fix dinner for tonight? I plan to be at my apartment tonight so it is easy to get ready for work in the morning. If you want you can stay with me tonight.” We share a cup of coffee and visit before she is off to work.
“You know Sam, your neighbor Mary is going to make a play for you as well. I am not sure if she is interested in Sam being Samantha or talking you into being Sam, but she too can help you figure out who you are.”
“I can’t believe you just said that.”
“It isn’t that you didn’t notice her. I don’t promise I will be able to keep my claws from scratching her eyes out. …Come six months I want to honestly know where we are at. You will probably always be a friend, but I want your heart, mind, and soul if we are for each other.”
I can’t believe that she gives me a kiss and leaves for work.
To be continued…
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The day is off to a good start, though things are not perfect. I have notice a number of twos at Carol’s like two toothbrushes, two sets of brushes and robes. There are clothes that are the right size, but not quite right for her. It’s is a good wake-up call that my life change needs to be for me. It would be easy to get angry at Carol if something is up. However, if I want to be angry with anyone it should be the girl in the mirror since I took so long to accept me and to get back to Carol.
I kinda wish I didn’t love being Samantha or love Carol; it would be nice to be back in college and delay responsibilities until I figure everything out. Knowing me, I could drag that out another ten years or even until retirement if I really try.
Having the white evening dress along with the rest of my stuff, I make my way back to my apartment feeling sorry for me. It is my first time back without Mary greeting me, but I wish she had.
Next I walk a few blocks to find a small grocery store. I get some fresh vegetables, cheeses and staples I need like milk, coffee and juice. The air still is chilly as shadows still cover half the block; taxis, delivery trucks and buses filling the air with noise, exhaust and add to the breeze.
It’s a short walk down the block to a meat market for fresh meat and fish; I get some good baking potatoes, meat for Chinese pepper steak and some chicken. And it’s another half block on the other side of the street for a good oriental market. The oriental market is especially good for rice, unusual spices and sauces.
I should have bought things in reverse order, now I am trying to carry four bags from the farthest point to my place. I wanted to look around, but looking like a young bag lady, walk home.
I decide to make Chinese pepper-steak which I know Carol loves. I shower, freshen up and have on my most casual skirt. Another note to self: I need everyday clothes for being around my apartment. Then I start to sort out my apartment. And I send a text to Carol telling her about supper.
“Sam, I wasn’t going to come over, but suspect that is why you are making your Chinese Pepper-steak; so I will be there by 6:15 p.m. But we will need to talk, please don’t invite Mary or any stray puppies.”
The apartment comes together with a definite Samantha flavor to it. I have an off blue color for my bedroom that I mix down to a much softer shade of blue. I make a list of things to pick up outside the city. I already plan to make visits home and to my sister pay. Come early afternoon I shop for office furniture and equipment. I check with Ms. Anderson; she tells me what they have in storage. I buy accordingly making sure I have what I want. A designer’s table, chairs and a small side table are my main purchases along with a new laptop with more than the essential bells and whistles. Some things are to be delivered around 8:30 in the morning and the last group at 11:30.
I have good lines on three rental/lease places; the first two bids are from those Kelsey has a record of business with and a third is a group out of Staten Island seeking to rebuild back after Hurricane Sandy. Nothing is inexpensive around the City but I verify City Wheels dependability is highly rated and costs on average some fifteen percent less. Enough work, back to my day off.
The Chinese pepper-steak cooks up easy enough and is now simmering nicely in its sauce, a nice bed of oriental green beans with almond slivers to go in at the last moment are cooking up as well as the rice. I have a bottle of red, but expect Carol will also bring a bottle wine. Last I’m preparing a fresh salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing as Carol buzzes in.
I know she’s coming in but she still surprises me with a hug from behind and a kiss on the neck. I said, “Do us a favor and open the wine and pour me some?” “Your bottle or mine,” she asks? I can tell by her eyes we are both happy to see one another, yet there’s a prayer in our greetings.
There is no surprise that I’m in a skirt; and I like that Carol is too. It is easy to tell her panties are not cotton. I love the feeling of sliding my hands over her gentle curves. I have things ready so we sit and begin to eat.
“Samantha, you know I am still in love with you but I need to be honest with you.” I’m not expecting that she would share unless I confront her. “I’m in love; we’ve known each other and… Well Sam, I can’t give her up and have you get cold feet or deny who you are again.” I look into Carol’s eyes, lean over and give her a gentle kiss. We sit at the table lightly eating and talking; less than half our meal leaves the plate.
“Carol, it will be a while before I should to commit to anything, and for the life of me I can’t promise you anything. Even as Samantha, I’m not sure I will give up being Sam, I mean Samuel’s parts. I love you too, but whether I marry you or another woman as Samantha, I might want us to have our child.”
Something changes and Carol looks down, I can’t see into her eyes. I am not sure what she’s thinking, until a strange thought comes to mind. I lift her chin and she looks up. “You want a child too, but not necessarily with me.”
“Damn Samantha, you’ve picked some time to speak up.”
“I’m right aren’t I; you would like a child and you wouldn’t mind if I helped you to get pregnant, would you?” No sooner I say it and I wish I hadn’t. I start again, “You wouldn’t have said anything about that would you? I’m sorry, I should know better… You still want a child don’t you, and you would wait six months to a year you would consider asking me, especially if I transition, wouldn’t you?”
Carol knows I am not angry, though I am a little hurt. If we didn’t mean so much to the other she would have left already and I would have shoved her out as she was leaving. Instead, I put on a slow song and we dance together. We both have tears filling our eyes, but hers run over and dampen my cheek as well. Valerie is her love's name and I don’t know if she is my competition or already in her heart the spouse of my best friend. I am positive Carol is my best friend; I don’t want to lose her again.
I start to undress Carol to take her to bed, but all the while she is telling me about the last two years. She doesn’t mention Valerie more than twice by name, but I can feel Carol’s heart for her. “Samantha I couldn’t deceive you and if we’re not together, I won’t ever ask you.”
“How can you say that? I know how much you want a child. I bet even Valerie wants a child,” I tell her. “You can use a sperm bank if you have too, but I bet you’d be thirty something before you’d do that.”
“If you wouldn’t ask me, is that because you two wouldn’t want me as the father of your child?”
Carol turns to me, “I can’t tell if that is you being insensitive again or trying to mask your own hurt, but you should have known better.”
“I do and you should know I would do anything not to lose your friendship again. While it’s way too early, yes I would help you and Valerie to have children. But you need to know, I love you very much and love being together,” I get passionate with Carol and we’re close to going to bed. And then something in Carol changes and she starts getting dressed to go home. “I’m sorry Samantha; I’m not giving up either, but I can’t tonight.
While I’m not giving up on my love with Carol; in the morning I am kind of glad. I woke up looking like a woman who cried herself to sleep which is partly true. I get a good shower, a cup of coffee and nicely do my makeup. What wonders that does for my appearance and disposition? I am down to Perez’s by 7:05 and off to work.
That gets me into work at 7:45 and only Ms. Anderson is there to greet me. She says Jennifer is up in her office. I am in my office setting up my computer. Then with key in hand I check the furniture storeroom hoping to find a desk. There is a very nice wooden desk a couple of drawers are marked but very repairable. If I can have a port hole drilled for wires and with some TLC the desk will be a steal.
I route my request for the desk through Ms. Anderson to Ms. Stengel and by 11:00 the desk is to be in my office. It was earmarked to be sold or traded off. “The next time,” Cassandra tells me, “Just take it; let someone know you have it. Procedure on formally asking for the small stuff is distracting; if it helps you to get in production that makes sense.”
Come 9:30 we’re in meeting with Michaels and the scale of our work is more than I imagine. We have nine fashion lines for ‘Fall’ clothing that will be going to retailers late July. Marketing says “Three lines have problems with few exceptions. Sheila, Docherty and Samantha are assigned to recommend needed changes.” Jennifer underscores “No later than Thursday, Monday will be best if it involves significant production changes, am I understood?”
Short work is made of my recommendation for leasing cars. Our department agrees to lease two Chrysler 300s; making one available to other divisions, knowing executives could co-opt them if it proves popular and beneficial. Before we leave the meeting the first vehicle is scheduled in for 7:00 a.m. Monday at our office fueled and ready. It is equipped to handle wireless connections.
The meeting Monday in New Haven will be with high end fashion and specialty stores, for the New England region. “Samantha and Sheila, it will be very helpful if at least one of those fall lines supposedly in trouble will be marketable by then.”
Without thinking I speak, “I have an idea for one of the lines we would like to boost and promote? This one, with some beautiful tweeds and quality fabrics, could be used in making it an exclusive line. I think the problem is not the design or look but that the look is new and daring.” I draw three rough sketches with colors and grab swatches that go well with them. I am able to send a download that Jennifer Michaels and Cassandra Stengel can tap into.”
“Marketing shows three areas where the line already tests well in. If we promote the look and get the line there ten days early, we could use that in introducing it nationally.” I look up realizing I spoke out of order; noticing everyone else is quiet. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have spoken out like…” Everyone turns and looks to Ms. Michaels and Stengel.
Jennifer looks at her computer and then back at me. “You are a little brazen, but what makes you think Marketing hadn’t already thought of that?” I’m now scared until I see a slight glimmer in her eye. “Because they are playing it safe and they don’t see what we see. Whoever is responsible for designing this I think has done a good job; I know I would buy them.”
Jennifer smiles, “That’s what I hoped for when we hired you, Samantha. You and Sheila pick the right colors and fall tweeds and I’ll sign off for early production.”
My motive isn’t all nice and innocent, it’s to protect what I came up with. While I will continue to work on the ideas during the weekend, but I won’t be around to present them to Cassandra on Monday as I will be in New Haven. While Docherty has good credentials, he doesn’t come across to me as a team player. I like Sheila but she will be with us on the business trip.
I don’t mind a person who wants to climb higher, but I have a competitive streak that doesn’t like to be stepped on. I will send my stuff through Sheila during the weekend. And hopefully the three of us can connect sometime Sunday evening.
While it is a short work week I am ready to relax and unwind. A text message from Nika says she is coming to the city to see me but she won’t seek me out until tomorrow. I stop at a women’s shoppe just enough off of Fifth Avenue hoping I might be able to afford it. If I find what I want. I am looking for a silk peasant blouse and a full skirt to go with it. I haven’t seen what I am looking for and if I don’t find it I am of mind to design something. And then offer them up as my first designs to be offered up in the company. I am not sure which I want more; to find and wear it or to have the opportunity to design such an outfit.
On my way out of work, I see Darla coming to be with Jennifer and it reminds me that Carol is likely to be with Valerie tonight. My first Friday night in the Big Apple will likely be alone. I would rather not be alone all night but the only place I’d feel somewhat comfortable meeting someone would be Ferraro’s but that is a night out I can’t afford too often.
It is after six when I am in my hall opening my apartment door and Mary is coming out of the elevator. “Hi Mary, did you have a good day?”
“It is good that it’s over, I’m tired. I’m too tired to prepare something eat and too down to go and eat alone.”
“Well, what if we go and get something to eat together? You can pick the place?” I’m now leaning against my door ready to go in.
“Something special and not just down the street,” Mary offers to see if I’m serious? I nod ‘Yes’ and she asks, “What if I’m up to go dancing?”
“When you say dancing, do you mean us going to a dancing place together, or us dancing together?” I ask.
“I’ve never tried that but yes, I guess that is what I am asking,” Mary is whispering shyly? “I wouldn’t mind if some neat guys would ask to dance, but I’m tired of the jerks that usually ask.” Her statements are not flattering of what she thinks of me.
I am hugging my laptop when Mary responds; “Damn, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just I want it to be as friends since I’m not in the league of competing with Carol.” She quickly leans across the hall and gives me a short peck of a kiss; “There, I like you is that better.” She is half proud of herself but also worried.
“The idea of being friends and enjoying the evening is good. If it goes someplace great and if we’re just friends that will be good too.”
Mary pulls my door shut and pulls me over to her apartment, “Thanks, I know there are no promises it’s just nice that someone else is here.” Mary pulls me into her bedroom and is pulling out various outfits as she partially undresses. With her sweater and blouse off I see a more beautiful woman than has been showing off.
“Mary, can I ask a question without offending you? Why are you hiding how beautiful you are?”
She sniffles a little, “I’m not since I was ten my dad has said I am a ‘plain Jane’. Every time I think I’m pretty someone puts me back in my place.” She is now holding back tears and I feel a hurt that goes deeper than I can see. I had thought Mary is about my size but she should be wearing a full size smaller, may be more. I think of Macy’s and throw her top back at her.
“Mary put on you blouse and come with me.” Both apartments are soon locked and we’re out front waving down a taxi. It is atleast twelve blocks to Macy’s and Mary is wondering what I am up to. Like Carol says, ‘I am good at picking out what is nice for a woman.’
I turn down the help of a saleswoman while asking Mary if she’d be comfortable in a skirt. “I guess if it’s flattering, but…” I cut her off and ask about colors. The first outfit is a bright reddish orange skirt nicely fitting above her knees. A snug fitting blouse of multi colors over a white background and a loose crochet sweater to go over it. It should be something that hides little to nothing.
Mary tries to say “No,” but once in front of the mirror she acknowledges the outfit is gorgeous. “Mary it is not the outfit it’s you. Let’s try another one or two before we decide.” Mary picks out a tan skirt. I wouldn’t have picked it, but she is right; it will look very nice on her. I send Mary in with two tops for each. The size she should be wearing. This time the blouse hugs her mid section is low cut and loose fitting over the top. It will be great looking but needs a lace bra that will be barely out of sight.
I already have a simple designer jean and tank top for leisure. Mary tries talking us into bulkier jeans which I am sure she has plenty of, with a top to add to her others. “How do these jeans feel when you put them on?”
“They feel like I would want them, but they’re not me?” I ask, “How so?"
“If I wore these where I grew up, people would actually ask who I’m trying to be.”
I stand behind Mary as she is looking in the mirror; I didn’t mean to but I am kind of hugging her and ready to nibble her ear. “Who’s wearing this and looking so fox-like?” Her hands slide down her jeans and she can’t help but smile, “I guess it’s me… I do look good don’t I?” She’s ready to decide which of the three she’s going to buy but it’s a struggle.
The saleswoman is back over as Mary decides on of the first skirt and blouse and to buy the jeans outfit as well. I suggest she wear the jeans back to the apartment so the saleswoman cuts off the tags, to ring them up. I bring over the tan skirt outfit which I buy for Mary. On our way out we pass by the salon area and they are not at all busy. We stop and I ask a hair stylist “Is there something simple you could do for Mary’s hair?”
Tricia responds talking and showing how she would do it, “A quick cut could be done for tonight but she really should have it all done.” Mary turns and asks if we can take the time. Fifteen minutes later and Mary is walking out with a totally new look.
We are quickly at the apartments to get changed for the evening. I shower and put on a smart flattering outfit. It is simple yet I hope in Mary’s eyes it is flattering.
I text Carol asking for a place to dance that would be relatively safe. She quickly texts back a few names. We go to eat at Perez’s. Come evening the atmosphere and menu changes. Everyone who knows Mary is pleasantly surprised with her change. It is so good several don’t recognize her, she looks that well.
Neither of us is interested in eating much but the meal does energize us for the evening. I enjoy our time eating together and sipping wine. Mary is either naturally shy or intentionally being a coy little flirt, either way she is getting to me. We go to a dance lounge that true to Carol’s word is a good place for straights as well as lesbians and T people like me.
Because Mary is so relaxed and happy, I am guessing this is not new nor is she as shy as I thought. When we are up dancing and a slow song comes, it is Mary not me, who is leading. “Mary, if you and I are going to be good friends, you need to be upfront with whom you really are and give me space to grow in our friendship.”
She smiles, “Actually I would like us to be more than friends.” She gives me a soft kiss that is very nice but neither seductive nor domineering.
“That is possible but we need to be friends first and see where that takes us. You appear to be much more than the woman I’ve seen the past week.” She is sizing me wondering exactly what that means, which is fine with me. I would be more upset if she thought she already knows me.
The next time going to the dance floor she is asked to dance by a woman from Columbia University and I ask Marissa, a student in her third year at Fordham. I am happy when Mary says she wants to leave with her new friend. I am now interested in Marissa, but neither as a one night person nor anything too quick. We have an enjoyable night and agree that I will take her to dinner Tuesday evening.
Come morning I am up early eager to see my sister Nika, yet knowing I need to get some work done. I spread out composites of the various fashion lines for Fall Market. I pick two lines we are to target for special attention and two other lines to familiarize myself with. Most of the morning is filled with rough drawings and notes how to tweak one line.
I buzz in my sister from downstairs and organize what I’ve done to show her. As I am letting her in, I realize I have been working in my panties, bra and a white blouse. “Sam, I knew you said you’re spending time as Samantha. I can’t even see your boyhood.”
“You could at least have the decency to refer to it as my ‘manhood’.” Nika retorts, “I know I could have. It is intentional. I do like the Sister in front of me, but you need to get something on if we are going to get a bite to eat. I am starved.” It dawns on me I haven’t eaten either and I too am hungry.
Nika has been working a few years and comes into the city now and then so she knows direction and eating places better than I do. We get some spicy food at a Thai restaurant she knows in Hell’s Kitchen. On our way back, we stop at Kelsey’s and show her my office.
She is a bit jealous but we both know she doesn’t like the rat race of the city. She rather come and enjoy what she likes while working and living in a smaller city. She likes Passaic, far enough from our home as well as NYC; yet close enough for the benefits of each. She loves to retreat to upstate New York as a photographer and hobby artist.
She enjoys seeing me work back at my apartment and helps me to identify subtle differences in shades and tints of color. She gets us back out shopping by 2:30 less we get an aggravated sales person.
She has already obligated me to meet her guy friend Larry. She knew him before the wedding time but he wasn’t that significant then. She’s not so sure how significant he is now as she see herself being bisexual. Tonight however we are going to dinner with him. Dinner is just the three of us but we are to rendezvous with a friend come 9:30. Larry is amused how much like Nika I look.
It is quite the contrast to be out dancing and drinking with a guy tonight especially since Sis is generally attracted to guys a year or so younger than herself. Larry’s friend Hadley is a grad student at Pratt Institute working as an intern for the same company.
While I am not greatly attracted to Hadley, but I like as I did at the wedding to be with a man. It is not hard to tell his interest in me or at least my body. While I say I am not greatly attracted I willingly give him my number to call.
We, Nika and I, are back to my apartment just after midnight and stay up to three visiting. Nika and I are renewing our closeness as Sisters. “Samantha, it appears you are finally finding your identity and I think it probably fits you well. I just want to ask you to take your time and give Mom and Dad a chance to know you. I think Patti and our Aunt will be good allies in winning them over.”
Nika realizes I am not waiting till hell freezes over, and swears she will back me in being me. While I have an extra bed it is not much good and she shares my bed. “If this happens again I hope your own breasts have grown out by then so I can easier…” And with that she pinches a nipple until it hurts.
Come morning, Nika praises the good pastry of the city but warns me if I really like being an attractive woman I need to limit their intake as she does. She is soon on her way to see Larry before returning to her home. She shows me a picture of a friend Hannah who I am likely to meet when I visit in Passaic.
I spend three hours on work before calling Sheila, who I have received work from as well as sent mine to her. We are wise in doing so as Docherty has less than half the work of either of us and it's not that good. When we gather at 6:30 that evening. Not by accident Cassandra shows up at the start of our meeting. She likes the ideas that are being shared and while she doesn’t seem to have it in for men. It is not hard to see that Docherty doesn’t measure up in her eyes though he is the higher of us three associates by longevity.
“I am glad that you two will be along with Ms. Anderson tomorrow; hopefully you can confirm what I will be recommending so we can get atleast two lines approved for early production by Tuesday.”
“I am not sure what Jennifer will be asking of you two tomorrow. I want you, Samantha, not only to help where you can, but keep your eyes and ears open Jennifer is a fantastic person from whom to learn this business. She handpicked the two of you and you are gifted. But I don’t want you to be fooled into thinking you know what we are about.” I look around and realize Docherty has already left. While I can’t fault a person who is working Sunday evening, timelines and production schedules are known to be extra demanding in our profession as a norm.
As we head out Sheila confides in me, “They’re hoping you are good as expected. Don’t get a big head or sit back. If you can keep it up a few months maybe we can get rid of a piece of dead wood. See you early tomorrow; I will be in no later than 6:30 in the morning.”
To be Continued…