The beautiful, talented, and fabulous Imp is back to continue her adventures, both on and off the Whateley campus.
The Village, Friday evening, Nov 9th 2007
I stood back and stared intently at the scene in front of me, scowling deeply as I did so. Drops of crimson were splattered all over, and I could see a lifeless face staring back from the shadows. It was like some kind of nightmare come to life.
“Drat, drat, and double drat,” I exclaimed in frustration.
A moment later, I raised my weapon, which was still coated in the crimson liquid. Maybe I’d gotten a little carried away this time. With a sigh, I set my paint brush down and stepped back to look over the painting from better view.
The painting that I was working on was NOT coming together the way I wanted. It was a simple landscape piece, showing a field of red flowers, below a cloudy sky. Of course, I’d also added a few hidden items into the picture, the way I always did. A small red devil was hidden among the flowers, a cute little devil that would have been right at home, sitting on someone’s shoulder. And then, I’d also hidden a cute little cherub among the clouds. From a distance, it didn’t look bad, but it still wasn’t right. ‘Not bad’ just wasn’t good enough.
After a little consideration, I began to get some ideas of how I could save this painting. I’d add a couple splashes of other colors in order to break up the sea of crimson, and then I’d have to tweak the shading a bit.
“That should work,” I mused.
I was just starting to mix up a couple new colors when my doorbell began to ring. I paused where I was and carefully set down my paints and brushes, not wanting to spill anything onto the floor.
“I’m coming,” I called out, hoping that whoever it was could hear me.
Unless of course, it was someone playing ding-dong-ditch. I’d always loved that game as a kid, and I’d had a lot of fun messing with random neighbors that way. However, the only person in the Village who was likely to play that game was me, and I was fairly confident that I wasn’t doing that this time.
When I looked through the peep hole, I was a little startled to see Amelia Hartford standing there. Hartford and I weren’t exactly BFFs, but we got along pretty well. We had a pretty good business relationship and understood each other on a professional level. And if she was here now, then it could only be for one thing.
“I don’t need any more encyclopedias,” I called out as I opened the door. Hartford didn’t look especially amused. However, she didn’t look pissed or anything either, which was probably a good thing. “Come on in,” I said, gesturing for her to enter.
“Thank you,” Hartford said a she came in. However, she did look me over and asked, “Am I disturbing you?”
“Nothing that can’t wait,” I responded, finally remembering to remove my paint splattered smock. It was absolutely invaluable for keeping my clothes clean while I worked. I certainly wasn’t a messy artist, but accidents did happen. “Can I get you something to drink?”
A couple minutes later, we were sitting in my living room with a couple glasses of wine. “Congratulations on your new business venture,” Hartford told me.
“Thank you,” I responded with an amused smile. I assumed that she was referring to my recent investment in the Moonrise Gallery, and didn’t bother asking how she’d learned about it. “The opportunity presented itself like a nice shiny gem, so of course, I just had to take it.”
“Of course,” Hartford responded with a faint smile. Then she took a sip of her wine and her expression turned all business. “I located the information that you asked me about.” She set a folder onto my coffee table. “Normally, I would simply have sent this to your e-mail, but I believe that in this case, a more personal touch is due.”
I nodded at that and opened the folder. The first thing I saw was a large photo of a woman. She was absolutely gorgeous, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and big boobs. I hated her immediately. Or more accurately, I would have hated her immediately, if I hadn’t already had a pretty strong dislike for the woman.
“Heaven,” I said, naming the woman who I recognized as the leader of the IRS. That was the Imp Revenge Squad, not the Infernal Revenue Service. Then I looked to the next page and grinned. “So, Blondie has a name…and it isn’t Debbie Harry.”
“Carolynn Northrop,” Hartford said. “She’s a moderate level exemplar and energizer, with some warper abilities that seem tied to her energizer ones”
“Doesn’t ring a bell,” I mused, flipping through the records that Hartford brought. “Does she have a history in the business?”
“Not as such,” Hartford explained. “The first record of her using any costume or codename was while she was recruiting her Imp revenge squad. However, she does have a history of legal and psychological issues under her real name.”
“Oh?” I asked with interest.
Hartford pulled couple pages out of the folder and opened them in front of me. “At the age of twelve, before she’d even manifested as a mutant, Carolynn was arrested for stalking one of her teachers. Her father kept her from being sent to juvenile hall, but she was sent to mandatory psychiatric counselling. Two years later, she repeated this with a famous rock star. She was arrested for stalking, breaking and entering, and assault. There are several more incidents like this, each becoming a little more…extreme. The psychiatric report that I acquired says that she has an obsessive personality, which is exacerbated by a case of Galahad Syndrome.”
“Okay,” I said, only growing more confused by this. “So, she’s a nutjob with a history of obsessive behavior and stalking. That’s fine and dandy, but what in the wide wide world of sports does she have against me?”
Hartford pulled out the second photo that was in the folder, one that I’d already looked over. It was a distinguished looking man in a nice suit.
“Arnold Northrop, Carolynn’s father,” Hartford told me, pausing to wait for a reaction.
“Still doesn’t ring a bell,” I replied. I didn’t recognize either the name or face.
“Five years ago, Arnold was arrested for possession of stolen artwork,” Hartford explained. Then she put another photo on the table in front of me, one of a painting that I immediately recognized.
“Ring-a-ding,” I said, putting some of the pieces together.
About eight years ago, I’d been hired to steal that painting from a museum. The contract had come through an agent, a paid middle-man who kept the actual client anonymous. Now, I suddenly had a very good idea of just who that client had been.
“While the police were investigating the stolen artwork,” Hartford continued, “they found evidence of extortion, fraud, and money laundering. Northrop was arrested on Carolynn’s wedding day, then died of a heart attack in prison.
“And she blames ME for that?” I blurted out in surprise.
I had a lot of people who hated me for one reason or another, and most of them even had a reason, even if it was hair-brained and stupid. But this was a new one on me.
“All I did was pull an acquisition job for an anonymous client,” I protested. “I had nothing to do with that crap…”
“Perhaps not,” Hartford told me with a frown. “But it was the discovery of that painting in Northrop’s possession that started the chain of events, so Carloynn seems to have focused on that painting…and the person who gave it to her father, as the source of these problems. It seems that she’s now fixated on you as her latest obsession.”
“Yay,” I cheered without much enthusiasm. “I have my very own stalker.”
Hartford smiled faintly at that. “And considering the fact that she’s adopted an angelic theme, it appears that she’s intentionally setting herself up as a counterpoint to you.”
I shrugged at that. “Sorry, I’ve already met my quota of arch-enemies. My punch card is just too full for another.”
“Of course,” Hartford responded wryly. “I’m sure that if you just explain that to her, she’ll go find someone else to fixate on.”
I flashed Hartford a grin. “Glad you agree.” Then I took a sip of my wine, and a little more seriously, said, “Thanks for the info. At least now I know who’s gunning for me, and why I didn’t recognize her.”
Hartford acknowledged that with a nod and took another sip of her wine. I flipped through the contents of the folder again, noting that there was a little more information there, mostly a few details that expanded on what Hartford had already told me.
“So, what do I owe you for this?” I asked. I was expecting a favor to be named later.
“This one is gratis,” Hartford answered with a dismissive gesture. “It would a bad precedent to simply stand by when an outsider attempts to kill one of our teachers.”
“Thank you,” I repeated.
“That being said,” Hartford added a few seconds later, with a faint smile. “If another faculty member ends up in a similar situation, I would expect you to pay this forward.”
“Of course,” I agreed with a smile. Unless of course it was Barney. He could kiss my shapely tookus.
“Now then,” Hartford said somewhat more pleasant smile, one that I doubted any student had ever seen, and very few faculty members. “Since we’re done with that business, I believe I heard something about you getting a new gallery showing in Boston soon?”
--------------------
Boston MA, Saturday, Nov 10th 2007
I was standing out on a Boston sidewalk, pulling my large overcoat around me more tightly as protection from the cold and damp weather. At the moment, I was using my magic amulet to hide my GSD, so if anyone looked at me, they’d see the plain and ordinary looking Candice Kade, instead of the fabulous Imp.
While I waited, I kept a close watch on my surroundings, taking in every detail that could come in useful. Most of the buildings nearby were only a few stories tall, and close enough together that I wouldn’t have any problem leaping from one roof to another. There was an alley across the street, which I could run down if someone started chasing me. And conveniently enough, there was a fire hydrant, which if cut open, could create quite a nice distraction.
Whenever I went anywhere, I liked to take mental note of such things, just in case. Being aware of my environment and the opportunities available, had saved my life and freedom on countless occasions.
On the other side of the street, I noted a group of Whateley students walking down the sidewalk. One of them was a senior, who had actually been in my open art classroom a couple hours ago, while the others were mostly freshmen and sophomores. Whenever the younger students left campus like this, they needed either a faculty member or an older student to act as a chaperone, and theoretically keep them out of trouble.
“I wonder why nobody has ever asked me to chaperone one of these trips,” I mused to myself with a smirk. My tail, hidden by both the masking charm and my coat, swished back and forth behind me, unseen.
Then I noticed the boy who was trailing behind the group and looking rather annoyed, probably by the need for a chaperone. Aegis was another of my students, and undoubtedly the one who frustrated me the most. After all, he was a hero wannabe, and I was a retired villain, so our first meeting had actually been dislike at first sight. However, I did have to give the kid one thing. After I took him under my wing and began tutoring him how to use his powers, he began paying attention without giving me too much attitude.
For a moment, I was tempted to wave at Aegis and the other kids from Whateley, but I refrained from doing so. Since I had my magic amulet on, none of them would recognize me as a teacher, and would probably think I was some random crazy lady. Then again, that might almost be worth it.
Less than a minute later, I saw another student, one whom I’d been waiting for. Melissa was coming down the sidewalk, right towards me. However, she wasn’t alone. Her father, Ryan, was walking with her, as they went to have a nice father/daughter lunch.
“I guess that’s my cue,” I said, going into the restaurant behind me, before Melissa had a chance to notice me standing there.
I found a nice, out of the way spot, near the table that Ryan had reserved. From my hiding spot, and with my chameleon field on, neither of them was able to see me as they came in and took their seats. However, I could still see and hear them quite well.
At that moment, I was grinning in anticipation of the joke I was about to play, but to make it more interesting than my usual ones, was the fact that I wasn’t the one to come up with it. This one was all Ryan’s idea, and I’d been surprised when he’d actually asked me to play along. Of course, there was no way I could turn this down.
“I’m really really glad you came to visit,” Melissa exclaimed, nearly bouncing in her seat. She was grinning excitedly, obviously enjoying the opportunity to have lunch with her dad. “This is awesome... Is that a lobster tank? I saw a tank with crabs in it when we came in… Ooooh, why does a seafood restaurant have hamburgers on the menu?”
Ryan just laughed at his daughter’s antics. “Calm down,” he told her with a look of amusement. “You’re making me tired, just by watching you.”
“I bet I’m gonna have a way better lunch than Maxine,” Melissa continued cheerfully. “She said that she didn’t want to go to Boston with me, after what happened the last time we were in Berlin…”
“And what did happen in Berlin?” Ryan asked, suddenly looking curious.
Melissa put on her best innocent expression. “We just did some shopping…”
Ryan gave her a skeptical look but didn’t call her on it. “There’s a reason I brought you here for lunch,” Ryan said. “You see, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about…”
“Really?” Melissa asked.
Ryan nodded. “I thought that I should tell you this in person. You see, I’ve recently started dating someone, and I wanted you to meet my new girlfriend.”
Melissa’s eyes popped open wide at that. “You’ve got a girlfriend?”
“You’ve met her before,” Ryan told her in a pleasant tone. That was my cue, so I came out of hiding and walked over to their table. “You’ve met Candice.”
“Hello, Melissa,” I said with a friendly smile. “It’s been awhile…”
Melissa turned to stare at me, letting out a gasp of surprise as she did so. Her mouth even dropped open, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Then, she blinked and quickly looked back and forth between me and her dad.
“Wait,” Melissa blurted out. “You’re…? How…?” She looked like she was caught between squealing in delight and demanding to know what was going on.
“Candice and I met up at one of her gallery shows, and decided to go on a date,” Ryan said with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. “We really hit it off, and now, we’ve kind of made it a regular thing.”
I could see the wheels turning in Melissa’s head, as she knew that Candice and the Imp were one and the same. However, as far as she knew, her dad still had no idea. That put her into an awkward position, or at least, so she thought.
“This is kind of a surprise,” Melissa said, giving me a questioning look, and probably wondering why I hadn’t said anything about this before. After all, she was my apprentice and we saw each other far more frequently than she saw her dad.
“I love surprises,” I responded with an evil grin.
“This is a big one,” Melissa said, though she quickly added, “But kind of cool too, in a weird sort of way…”
“What?” I teased Melissa. “Are my horns showing?
Melissa’s eyes immediately darted to her dad, to see how he’d react to that comment. Ryan was playing it calm, as though he still had no idea of who I was.
After this, we ordered lunch, and continued to talk while eating. The entire time, Melissa kept glancing between me and her dad, obviously caught between us. I could see that she wanted to tell Ryan who I really was, while also wanting to keep my secret. In the end, she kept silent for most of the meal. That was the longest I’d ever seen her go without talking nonstop.
As we were finishing up, I reached over with my fork and stabbed the last piece of Ryan’s fish. “Did you just steal my lunch?” he demanded with a look of mock offense.
“Did you expect anything else?” I asked him wryly.
Ryan hesitated a moment before shaking his head. “Not in the least…”
I just grinned at that. “Well, I am devilishly sneaky…and good looking.”
“So,” Ryan asked a few seconds later, while struggling to hold back a smile. “When do you have to be back at the school?”
Melissa let out a loud gasp of surprise, her eyes going wide as she finally realized that her father knew who I was. “What? How…?”
“When, where, and why,” I finished the collection of questions for her, swishing my tail back and forth as I did so.
“You KNEW,” Melissa accused her father with a look of betrayal.
Ryan couldn’t hold it in anymore and started to laugh, while I grinned in amusement. “Your old man is a little sharper on the uptake then you seem to realize.” I didn’t bother to point out, that the only reason he knew my secret, was that I’d straight out told him.
Melissa slumped down in her seat, crossing her arms and pouting. “So you were only pretending to date…”
“Oh no,” I assured her with a satisfied smile. “We really are dating.”
“We have been since, well, Parents Day,” Ryan admitted.
Melissa looked back and forth at us again, then began to grin. “You’re really going out? I mean, really?”
“Really really,” I assured her with a chuckle. “Just don’t expect that to mean I’m going to go easier on you in class.”
Melissa let out a loud ‘SQUEEE’ which hurt my ears a little. She seemed delighted by the idea that her dad and I were dating, which relieved me a little. I’d actually been concerned that she wouldn’t take it very well. After all, she might be my biggest fan, but my dating her father might have been a little too much for her. Most girls would freak out if their parents started dating a super villain, even a totally fabulous retired one. Fortunately for me, Melissa wasn’t most girls.
“Then I assume you don’t have a problem with this,” Ryan commented wryly while I just chuckled.
When we left the restaurant a short time later, Melissa was staring at me with an odd look. “How do you look like that?” she asked. “Are you a shifter?”
“Some people think so,” I answered cheerfully.
“I bet you’re wearing a mask, like in those cartoons,” she announced, while I just smiled, wondering how long it would take before she guessed magic or illusion.
We walked down the sidewalk, making a pleasant stroll of the city, when I suddenly heard a loud crashing sound from around the corner, along with the unmistakable sound of shattering glass. Ryan and I both froze at that noise, immediately recognizing the sound of trouble. But what kind of trouble, and how it related to us, I didn’t know, though I wanted to find out.
“Stay here,” Ryan told his daughter before running ahead and around the corner.
“Stay here,” I told Melissa as I ran after Ryan.
Then from behind me, Melissa exclaimed, “Wait here,” though I had absolutely no idea who she was talking to, only that she was now running along with us as well.
As soon as we turned the corner, we were met with the sight of a wrecked store front, a short distance down the street. The whole front of the shop had been smashed in, and there was even an upturned car about ten feet in front of it. As a professional criminal of many years, I immediately recognized the scene of a super powered smash and grab in progress.
“Let’s go the other way,” I suggested.
Seconds later, a massive figure emerged from the ruined shop front. The man was over seven feet tall, with a bulky, muscular body that practically screamed ‘BRICK’. His costume was blue and black, though he didn’t bother with a mask. With his physique, a mask would be nearly as pointless as it would be for me, when I was in my normal working outfit.
“Okay Missy, it’s time to go,” I told Melissa, hoping that she didn’t get any bright ideas like she had in Berlin.
“I don’t have my costume,” Ryan growled in frustration, obviously trying to decide if he should interfere anyway or not.
“Wow, he’s big,” Melissa exclaimed.
Ryan was still scowling, muttering, “Why couldn’t it have been Jersey Devil. I could have stopped her with my eyes closed.”
“Jersey Devil?” I asked, giving Ryan a suspicious look. “Don’t tell me that you’re cheating on me with some other devil…”
“It’s not like that,” Ryan protested.
Before I could tease Ryan further, a voice shouted out, “Stop right there, villain.”
“Oh no,” I gasped, turning to stare at Aegis, who seemed to have slipped away from his group, and was now standing there, challenging the villain. I face palmed, groaning, “That idiot is going to get himself killed…”
“AEGIS,” Melissa exclaimed in surprise.
“You know that boy?” Ryan asked, obviously about to go step in.
“Yeah,” I responded with a sigh. “He’s one of mine. I guess I’d better go save him, because it wouldn’t look very good for me if one of my students went and got himself killed right in front of me.”
With that, I removed my coat in a sweeping motion, turning off the amulet at the same time. A moment later, I was revealed to all the world as the fabulous Imp that I was. That probably would have been a nice and dramatic reveal, if anyone had actually been watching me instead of the big guy.
“You two stay out of this,” I warned Ryan and Melissa, not sure which one could be more problematic in this situation.
“Who the hell do you think you’re supposed to be, kid?” the big guy demanded in a deep voice. I could certainly understand his confusion, because not only was Aegis acting like an idiot, but he didn’t even have a costume. As far as the big guy knew, some random teenager had decided to pick a fight with him.
“I’m Aegis, and I’m going to stop you,” Aegis announced.
“Bug off kid,” the big guy said, holding up a large bag, which obviously contained his loot. A glance at the shop revealed that it was a jewelry shop, which gave me a pretty good idea of what kind of goodies he’d snatched. “I’m busy…”
The big guy started to walk away, but Aegis jumped in front of him. With that, the big man snarled, and I could see that Aegis was starting to annoy him. Before either of them could make another move, I let out a loud whistle to get their attention.
“Hello, boys,” I said in a sexy purr.
“Imp,” Aegis blurted out in surprise.
As soon as the big guy saw me, he gave me a much more serious look than he had Aegis, obviously because of my devilish good looks. I flashed him a grin, swishing my tail behind me.
“Are you some kind of hero?” he demanded.
I gasped at the insult. “Certainly not.” I shuddered at that. “I am the fabulous Imp, art thief extraordinaire…” I gave a sweeping bow.
“You’re the Imp?” the villain asked, now giving me a curious look. “Monster Max used to talk about you.”
That caught my attention. “You knew Max?”
The big man nodded. “We were buddies. I’m Adamant.”
“Up and at em, Adamant,” I responded cheerfully.
“What do you want?” Adamant asked me cautiously. His eyes narrowed, and he gave me a suspicious look, probably figuring that I was trying to cut in on his action.
“I’m not here to interfere with your job,” I told him, gesturing to Aegis. “I just want to keep the kid from getting squashed like a bug.”
“So, you want to fight me in his place?” Adamant asked, suddenly looking more threatening.
With a dismissive snort, I said, “Naw. Personally, I don’t give a hi-diddle-e-o about you walking away with your score. In fact, why don’t you just go ahead and continue on your way, and I’ll deal with the kid…”
“WHAT?” Aegis gasped, staring at me in surprise. “He just robbed a jewelry store. You can’t just let him leave…”
“Sure I can,” I told him cheerfully. Then, in a somewhat more serious tone, I added, “And so can you. You’re punching above your weight class here, Aegis. Way above.”
“Smart woman,” Adamant said which a chuckle.
Aegis was angry and looked like he was about to protest, but I held him back while Adamant simply walked off unimpeded.
“You let him get away,” Aegis snarled at me. “I knew you were still a villain.”
I smacked Aegis in the back of his head. “Are you nuckin futs? What in the world were you thinking, Bart? That guy isn’t like one of the bullies at school.”
“Someone has to stop him,” Aegis argued.
That just made me roll my eyes. “Look around,” I said, gesturing around us. “Do you see all these people here? Do you know what would have happened if you and Adamant got into a fight right here?”
Aegis hesitated a moment, then said, “I would have stopped him…” However, from his tone, he was starting to realize that he wouldn’t have been able to.
“Assuming he didn’t just stomp you,” I pointed out calmly, “then things would have gotten really messy for everyone else. Adamant was walking away, without hurting anyone. If you went and got him riled up, he could have started tossing cars around and knocking down walls. How many people do you think could have been killed?”
Aegis stared at me, looking surprised and confused. Then he gave me a hostile look. “So, I’m supposed to just stand back and let him get away with that?”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “First off, you aren’t a hero yet. You’re a high school student, and Carson would have skinned you alive if you’d actually fought Adamant. Secondly, if you want to be a hero, you need to learn how to do it smarter.”
“And how should I do that?” Aegis demanded.
I gestured in the direction that Adamant had walked off in, saying, “You follow him from a distance, find out where his hideout is, and then sneak in later and recover the goodies. Or, since you probably want to arrest him, you come back with your reinforcements, and get him when he’s not expecting it.”
Aegis gave me another look of surprise, as though he’d never considered this kind of thing. “That’s…not very heroic.”
“Nope,” I responded cheerfully. “But it is smart. Of course, going after someone at home could make it personal, which you usually want to avoid, but with someone like Adamant, it’s better than jumping him in the middle of a busy street and making things a lot worse.”
Suddenly, a loud voice called out, “Halt where you are, villains!”
I looked up and saw a man floating in the air, and wearing an old school Minuteman outfit, which included the trihorn hat. To complete this rather unusual image, the man was holding an old-fashioned lantern, and was glowing with golden flames.
“Who...?” Aegis blurted out in surprise.
“Lamplighter,” I answered in a flat tone.
This was the first time that I’d ever met Lamplighter, though I certainly knew who he was. I always researched the local heroes, whenever I did any traveling, and I’d passed through Boston a few times over the last three decades. And of course, after moving to Whateley, I’d given the local heroes an even more thorough look.
“You villains will regret causing trouble in MY city,” Lamplighter exclaimed.
“But I’m no villain,” Aegis blurted out in surprise and confusion.
Lamplighter fired a blast of golden energy right at us, and I shoved Aegis down and out of the way, knowing his habit of just standing there and taking hits he didn’t need to. The blast went right through the space we’d been occupying, and smashed into the sidewalk behind us, creating a small hole.
“I’m not a villain,” Aegis cried out, frantically pointing in the direction that Adamant had departed in. “I was trying to stop the villain…”
“Lampy doesn’t care,” I told Aegis grimly. “He’s already made up his mind, and isn’t the kind to change it because of something as trivial as the facts.”
By this point, Ryan was already running over to join us in dealing with Lampy. I could see from his expression, that he was taking this attack seriously, even if it was coming from another hero.
Normally, I liked it when two heroes fought over some cliché misunderstanding, especially when I could sit back with a nice bowl of popcorn. However, this wasn’t the time for that kind of entertainment.
“I’ll deal with Lamplighter,” Ryan said, completely ignoring the fact that he wasn’t even in costume.
“No,” I said, pushing Aegis towards him. “You get Aegis and Melissa out of here, and I’ll deal with Lumpy…”
“I’m the hero,” Ryan pointed out, which suddenly got a look of surprise and interest from Aegis.
“And I’m the expert on distracting heroes,” I reminded him with a smirk.
Then, before Ryan could argue, I ran towards Lamplighter, calling out, “Hey Lumpy, has anyone ever told you that your fashion sense is seriously dated?”
A giant hand made out of golden energy suddenly appeared in the air and tried to grab me, though I quickly dodged out of the way and blew Lumpy a raspberry. Then, to add further insult, I turned and waved my tail at him, before I began running.
“What next?” I called back, “An orange lounge lizard suit? Sequined bell bottoms? A mullet?”
“Shut up, villain,” Lumpy commanded, firing a blast of golden energy at me again.
“I do have a name,” I taunted Lumpy, pausing to buff my fingers against my shirt and then blow on them. “You have the honor of being mocked by the beautiful, talented, and fabulous Imp.”
“I don’t care what you call yourself,” Lumpy exclaimed as he launched another attack, which I easily avoided.
I blew Lump another raspberry. “Do you want me to find you the broad side of a barn to practice on?”
By this point, Lumpy was starting to get annoyed, which was the whole point. I ran for the nearest building and scrambled up the wall, going straight for the roof. Most of the time, when fighting flying opponents, going up high only made it easier for them to come after you, which was what I was aiming for.
Once I was on the roof, I dodged another of Lumpy’s attacks. “Yo, Lumpy, you’re gonna have to do better than that.”
“You will feel my wrath, Imp,” Lumpy threatened.
“Is that what you call it, you pervert?” I responded with a look of mock disgust. “Ewww… Do you proposition every woman you just met like that?”
Lumpy was already angry, and now he was getting a bit flustered. “That’s not what I meant…”
As I ran across the rooftop and leapt over to the next one, I grinned in delight. This was the kind of fun that I didn’t get enough of at Whateley. There was nothing quite as exciting as mocking heroes and leading them on a merry chase.
“Once I get to my submarine, you’ll never be able to catch me,” I exclaimed, jumping to another roof.
“I’ll catch you now, villain,” Lumpy responded, charging straight at me to try something a little more close and personal.
With barely any effort, I slipped away from his grip and commented, “You know, you aren’t very good at this hero thing. I think you just need a little more practice.”
Since I’d led Lumpy far enough away from Aegis, I decided that it was time to pull my disappearing act. I jumped to the next roof, then ran behind a large air flow unit, and turned on my chameleon field.
Lumpy flew past a second later, then paused to look around in surprise. “Where did she go?” He snarled in anger. “That villain won’t get away from me. She was going for her submarine, so I’ll just catch her there instead.”
With that, Lumpy took off, flying in the direction I’d been running, and going straight towards the water front. I remained where I was for half a minute, making sure he really was gone. Then, I turned around and hurried back the way I’d come.
I caught back up with Ryan, Melissa and Aegis a couple minutes later, and as soon as I arrived, Ryan wordlessly handed me my jacket. I slipped it on, and since I couldn’t use my amulet with Aegis there, I also pulled the hood up over my head to help hide my devilish good looks.
“Imp,” Melissa cried out, giving me a hug. “Are you all right? Did that guy hurt you?”
“I’m fine,” I assured her and Ryan both. “Lumpy shouldn’t be back here, but we should probably move on just in case.”
“Good idea,” Ryan said.
I glanced to Aegis, who had a dazed look on his face. “He thought I was a villain,” Aegis said, looking as though he couldn’t believe it. “I didn’t do anything wrong, and that hero attacked me…”
“Welcome to my life,” I muttered wryly. Then, I put an arm around his shoulder and said, “Well, he’s gone now, so let’s get you back to Whateley. I think you’ve had enough excitement for today.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Aegis muttered, talking to himself more than me.
That made me give Ryan a wry smile, though my boyfriend obviously didn’t know why. He wasn’t aware of the irony of the situation, or the fact that Aegis had a history of jumping to conclusions, and then attacking people without provocation. Maybe, since he’d just received a taste of his own medicine, he might learn something from this. Of course, the kid was pretty thick-headed at times, so I wouldn’t count on it.
“So,” Ryan started, giving me an amused look. “Did I hear you giving Aegis advice on how to be a hero?”
“No,” I protested, perhaps a little defensively. “I was just telling him how to avoid getting people killed. But if you want to give him lessons on how to be a hero, be my guest.”
Melissa grinned at the still shaken Aegis, bragging, “My dad knows all about hero stuff.”
--------------------
Whateley Academy, Sunday, Nov 11th 2007
“Welcome to Larceny One Oh One,” I announced to the class in front of me. “Specifically, this is the seminar on lock picking.”
I paused at that to look around the classroom, my special classroom that I used when teaching my non-art classes. At the moment, there were only a dozen students present, which wasn’t a surprise. I didn’t usually get a lot of students for these seminars.
There were a couple members of the Teletubbies, specifically, Reach, Rez, and Interface. That surprised me a little since I’d previously had some trouble with their club. Of course, I also had Heartbreaker and Jello from the Masterminds, and a few random kids who just seemed interested in the subject.
That green haired elf girl, Absinthe, had signed up for this seminar last week, but she was still in Doyle after being ambushed a few days ago. That was too bad, because from what I’d heard about her, she might have been fun to teach.
“Lockpicking is a very useful skill,” I continued cheerfully. “I mean, after this class, you’ll be able to break into your parent’s liquor cabinets.” There were some chuckles at that. “But you already know that, or you probably wouldn’t have signed up for this class. After all, there are plenty of other things you could be doing on a Sunday morning instead.” That earned a few more chuckles.
“So,” someone called out. “Are you going to show us how to break into a safe?”
“I’m afraid not,” I said with an exaggerated sigh. “Safe cracking would take more than just a single seminar. No, this class is just for the basics on lockpicking. And with that in mind, my TA, Mischief, will pass out some materials. These all came from a locksmithing course, just so you know that there are legal applications and careers for the skills I am about to teach you.”
Melissa flashed me a grin and began passing out some pamphlets and booklets. I hadn’t been lying about getting these from a company that taught courses for locksmiths, so they were all pretty professional looking.
I gestured to several large posters and displays that were hanging from the wall. These were diagrams of the inside of a lock and how the pins and tumblers actually worked.
After this, I began the lecture, which was full of useful information, but still rather boring, so I tried to liven things up with a few jokes. Once I’d covered the theory, I demonstrated on a couple locks, then passed out some locks and pick sets for practice.
“Mischief and I will both be coming around to help you if you need it,” I said. “Once you’re able to open your locks a couple times, trade with someone else so you can practice on a different one.”
Of course, there were a number of other tricks and techniques that could be used in various situations, such as bump-keying or using master spacers. However, I’d save that kind of thing for later seminars.
The class only lasted for two hours, but it was pretty successful. By the time class was over, everyone had managed to open a lock at least once. I had no doubt that some of these kids would be back for the advanced class, which I had yet to schedule.
When all of the other students had departed, I turned to Melissa, who was still grinning and cheerful. She’d been like that all morning.
“You’re sure in a good mood this morning,” I pointed out.
“That’s because this is fun,” Melissa pointed out. “And I can’t believe you asked me to be your TA… I mean, there were seniors in this class…”
“And you’ve been picking locks longer than they have,” I pointed out cheerfully. “You must have had an awesome teacher.”
“Oh,” Melissa responded with an innocent look. “I guess she was okay…”
I gently punched her arm, only to have my hand go through her. Then Melissa jumped back, giggling and sticking her tongue out at me. I was so glad I’d picked her as my apprentice.
A couple seconds later, Melissa came back over, her expression a little more serious, and even a bit nervous. “Um…I have a question…”
“Oh?” I responded. “That’s convenient, because I have some answers. They might not match your question, but I do have answers.”
Melissa giggled a little nervously, before abruptly asking, “How do I get a boy to like me?”
“What?” I asked in surprise. I blinked, since that wasn’t the kind of question I was expecting. “Boys in general, or is there one specific one?”
Melissa hesitated a moment. “Rapier. He’s really cute, and brave, and nice…”
I just stared at Melissa, realizing that she was really crushing on Rapier. As far as I knew, this might even be her very first big crush, which meant that things could be sensitive.
“Are you two…dating?” I asked a little awkwardly.
This was one subject I was NOT all that confident about. The truth was, as brilliant and fabulous as I was, dating and romance had never really been a huge part of my life. On this subject, my experience was a bit limited.
It was still hard to believe that I actually had a boyfriend. A real boyfriend, and not just a one-night stand in order to scratch an itch. I still felt as giddy as a schoolgirl about that.
“No,” Melissa admitted with a bit of a pout. “He doesn’t even notice me…”
My heart ached a little in sympathy. “How could he not notice you?” I asked. “You’re a very noticeable girl. You’re cute, you’re talented, and you’re my apprentice. How could anyone not appreciate that?”
Melissa giggled, seeming a little happier. “So, you think he might like me?”
“He’d be an idiot not to,” I assured her.
Before Melissa and I could talk about this any further, there was a knock from my classroom door, right before Aegis came in. He was here for our private lessons, and he was still a bit nervous about them, especially since this time, I’d asked him to come here rather than my regular classroom.
“I’m afraid we’re going to have to continue this another time,” I told Melissa apologetically. “Bart and I have an appointment.”
“Okay,” Melissa responded, surprising me with a quick hug before she left.
“Come on in,” I told Aegis, gesturing for him to come closer.
Before we began, I grabbed a small devise from my desk and used it to sweep the room for bugs. I found only one. With a couple Teletubbies, and a couple Masterminds, I would have been surprised if someone hadn’t tried to bug me. Once that was taken care of, I turned back to Aegis.
“Okay, let’s do your flexibility exercises,” I said.
I wasn’t talking about stretching or yoga, but about the exercises I’d been teaching Aegis, to help him control his PK shell a little better. We’d only had a couple sessions together, but he was starting to get the hang of it.
Aegis started on the exercises, and as he did them, his PK shell became visible, appearing as a golden glowing aura. I watched carefully as the glow dulled in in some places while becoming a little brighter in others. This was the visible indication that he was focusing the energy of his shell, rather than letting it all spread out evenly.
“Good,” I said, nodding in approval. I swished my tail back and forth behind me. “You’re really getting better with that.”
“Thank you,” Aegis said, looking pleased by the compliment though a little uncertain about getting it from a ‘villain’.
I nodded again and flashed him an evil grin. “I think you’re ready to try something new…” Aegis gave me a wary look, which only amused me further. “We’re going to try concentrating and focusing your energy a little more…and shaping it.”
Aegis’ eyes widened at that and he suddenly looked excited. “You think I’m ready?”
“That’s what we’re going to see,” I cheerfully responded. “But I’m pretty confident that you have the ability to focus your shell into a blade. It’s just a matter of whether or not you have the focus and fine control built yet. And if not, we’ll just know where we have to work.”
Aegis and I worked on this for the rest of our session together, and by the end, he was able to form a PK blade with his shell, though he couldn’t hold it for more than a couple seconds. Still, it was a good start and would only get better with practice.
Just as we were finishing up, Aegis gave me an odd look before cautiously asking, “Do you think that this would be enough to beat that guy from yesterday? Adamant?”
I stared at Aegis for a moment before answering honestly. “Nope.
“Oh,” Aegis responded, looking dejected.
“You might have been able to hurt him a little,” I admitted. “But he’s still got you beat with power and experience.”
“I just need to fight harder,” Aegis insisted.
“Don’t fight harder,” I told him. “Fight smarter.”
“But…,” he started to protest.
I held up my hand to stop him. “Look,” I said, trying to figure out how to pound this into his thick head. “Real fights aren’t like some movie, where wanting it more is enough to win.”
“Then how do you win?” Aegis demanded, clearly frustrated. He wasn’t arguing with me over this point though, probably because he’d been beaten enough that some common sense had been knocked into him, even though it didn’t usually show.
“You need power, skill, and experience,” I answered. “Your usual method is to just throw your power up against your opponents, making the fight all about power versus power. You aren’t especially powerful, which means that a lot of the time, you are going to be overmatched. However, what you lack in raw power, you make up for with flexibility. Once you learn to really use that, it gives you a lot more options than just matching power against power. Once you figure out the best option to use against any particular opponent, that will give you the advantage.”
Aegis just stared at me for several long seconds with a thoughtful expression. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that he was actually paying attention. I guessed that I’d find out for sure the next time he got into a fight.
“My job here is to help you develop your tools,” I told him with a smile. “If you can use the right tool for the right job, then you’ll start to win.”
“I want to win,” Aegis admitted, looking a bit ashamed. Then he stared at me again with an odd expression. “Could you beat Adamant?”
“I’m smart enough not to fight him,” I pointed out wryly. “Sometimes, your best option is not to fight someone directly.”
“What about that other guy?” Aegis asked. “That hero…”
“Lumpy?” I asked in surprise. “What about him?”
Aegis scowled for a moment. “You didn’t fight him. You ran away…”
“Yep,” I agreed cheerfully. “There was no reason for me to fight him. After all, my goal wasn’t to beat him, but to get him away from you.”
“Could you beat him?” Aegis asked me curiously. “If you tried to that is.”
I considered that for a moment. “Lumpy is a LOT more powerful than me,” I admitted. “But from what I’ve heard, he relies almost entirely on brute force and raw power.”
“So, you’d do something else,” Aegis mused, looking like he was actually considering what that something else might be. I smiled at that. Maybe he really was paying attention.
“I avoid fighting people directly, whenever possible,” I admitted. “In my old line of work, if I ran into a situation where I actually had to fight someone, it usually meant that I failed somewhere.”
Aegis nodded at that, then cautiously said, “When he showed up, he called me a villain. He was going to attack me when I didn’t even do anything.”
I saw the hurt and confusion in Aegis’ eyes and realized that the encounter with Lumpy had seriously damaged his faith in heroes. I could sympathize with that since I could remember the day I’d lost my own faith in heroes.
“That’s pretty common for a lot of heroes,” I told him. “They charge in with their fists swinging, making assumptions and then questioning them later…if ever.”
I didn’t bother to point out that this was exactly what Aegis had been doing since he’d arrived at Whateley. From the look on his face, I think he realized that on his own. Maybe there really was hope for the kid.
“Not all heroes are like that,” I grudgingly admitted. “There are some who are capable, competent, and professional. It might sound pretty ironic coming from someone like me, but I can respect those heroes. I’d never admit it to them of course, but there are times when heroes are needed, and I appreciate the good ones…even if they’re coming after me.”
Aegis chuckled a little at that. “That’s…surprising.”
I just shrugged. “I’ve been in the business for a long time, and one thing I’ve learned is that things aren’t as simple as black and white. Heroes aren’t always good and villains aren’t always evil. I know heroes who are the biggest assholes, and criminals who are the kindest and most generous people. I know law abiding citizens who are cruel and sadistic, who use the law to victimize innocent people, and I know criminals who ignore the law in order to help people. The simple fact is, most people aren’t all good or all bad. They’re a mixture of both. This goes for heroes and criminals both.”
I wasn’t sure why I was telling all this to Aegis, since I was confiding a little more than I’d usually tell anyone. Maybe it was just the simple fact that someone needed to explain things to him. Not everything was as simple as he’d believed, and he was just starting to see that. If I could help him to get a better perspective, then I’d only be helping him, and doing my part as his teacher.
“You’re getting better, Bart,” I said, flashing him a cheerful grin. “Now, it’s about time for lunch, so why don’t you go get yourself a Krusty Burger and a Squishy. We’ll keep working on your PK blade the next time.”
--------------------
Whateley Academy, Sunday early afternoon, Nov 11th 2007
I was in a good mood as I walked back to the village. My tail swished back and forth behind me with a casual ease while I cheerfully hummed a tune from the Backstreet Boys. It was a good day.
First, I’d woken up beside Ryan, and even got to have breakfast with him before he had to go and catch a flight back to New York. Then I got to teach my lockpicking class, which was always fun, and I was even making some progress with Aegis. Yes, it was definitely a good day.
I’d just finished lunch a few minutes ago and had eaten a particularly tasty tuna melt. I had absolutely no idea how the Whateley chefs made it, only that it was way better than any tuna melt I’d ever had in a diner. Between that and the lunch conversation with Maria, I was definitely feeling contented.
“And I even have some free entertainment,” I mused to myself, thinking of the person who was trying to follow me.
A student had been following me for the last two minutes, trying to be sneaky about it and not be seen. However, she wasn’t very good. Geist was a freshman, a member of the Teletubbies, and I was pretty sure that she was also working for Barney.
For a moment, I seriously considered going back and messing with Geist, teaching her a lesson about coming after me. It would be free entertainment and the cherry on top of an already good day. But then again, she was just a student, and a freshman at that. It would be too easy. And besides, she and Melissa had a rivalry going on, and I didn’t want to interfere with that. Melissa needed a rival. Sure, Trixie might keep her on her toes, at least as far as pranking went, but she also needed a serious opponent of her own level. Someone like Geist.
“Well, I can still have a little fun,” I conceded with an evil grin.
With that, I went towards the nearest building, and as soon as I turned around the corner and was out of sight, I pulled my disappearing act. I stood flat up against the wall, mostly invisible because of my chameleon field, and waited. I didn’t have to wait long before Geist showed up.
About twenty feet away, I saw Geist, an auburn-haired girl with glasses. She was peeking around a corner, though there was no corner there for her to actually peek around. That was a clear indication that she was using her power, projecting her image away from where her real body was. And since I knew where the corner was, and could hear her moving, I knew exactly where she really was…invisible or not.
I patiently waited until Geist walked past me, then I dropped my own invisibility, tapped her on the shoulder from behind, and exclaimed, “BOO!” She jumped, dropped her power, and let out a loud shriek. She might even have filled her pants, but I couldn’t be sure of that.
After Geist ran away, I chuckled gleefully to myself. That had been fun. Too easy…but still fun.
“I’d better leave her to Melissa from now on,” I said with a grin. “After all, I wouldn’t want to deprive her of the opportunity to do this herself.”
Since I’d already had my bit of fun, I continued back towards the village, this time without anyone following me. I might have been finished with all my classes today, but I still had some lesson plans to work on. Teaching was a bit like pulling a heist. If you wanted everything to go smoothly, you had to do your research and plan things out. And if you did it right, you’d have enough room for a little fun and creativity as well.
One of the things I really wanted to work on today was my training plan for Melissa. She’d advanced enough that it was time to put her out in the field, having her tag along on some of my jobs while giving her some simple ones of her own. Of course, now that I’d retired from the business, that kind of training was a little more difficult to come by. Fortunately, I had the sims as a resource. I just needed to design some to suit my needs.
A short time later, I arrived at the Brown Moose Café with a small stack of papers. I’d already eaten lunch, but that wasn’t why I was there. I was there because it was a great place to work. I could get snacks and drinks while I made up my lesson plans, and I could even socialize with some of the other faculty in the process. I’d spent far too much time hidden inside my home, so I was taking advantage of the opportunity to be out in public now that I had it.
Unfortunately, as soon as I stepped into the Brown Moose, I saw Barney sitting at one of the tables. I might have turned right around and left, but he noticed me too, and glared with a look of disgust and hatred. Because of that, I decided to stay, just to spite Barney if nothing else. I took a seat at a table that was right in Barney’s line of view. If I was going to stick around just to annoy him, I might as well do it right.
“I’ll have a glass of grape juice and an order of onion rings,” I told Rick, one of the guys who ran the place. When the grape juice was placed in front of me a minute later, I took a long sip and exclaimed, “Ah, freshly squeezed dinosaur blood. My favorite.”
“I heard you were in another fight last week,” Barney commented with a growl. “A pity they did such a poor job.”
I responded with a shrug and a dismissive wave. “Idiots and incompetents are always trying to ambush me. Fortunately, they’re all too pathetic to matter.”
Barney caught the not so subtle reference to his own attack on me all those years ago, and I saw him tense up and become even angrier…if that was possible. That just brought a smile to my lips, though beneath the surface, my own anger was burning.
During my three decades in the business, I’d collected a lot of enemies, and people had tried killing me on countless occasions. Barney’s attempt had been one of the closest to actually succeeding, though that wasn’t the reason for my own long-standing grudge. Out of all my enemies, Barney was the one who’d caused me the most long-term pain.
“Carson can’t protect you forever,” Barney stated. “Sooner or later, you will pay for your crimes.”
I just smiled at that. “Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I’ve already been paid for my crimes, and paid well.”
There was a sudden cracking sound as Barney’s class shattered in his hand. He was now a foot taller than he’d been a few seconds ago, a clear indication that I was getting to him. Good.
“You know,” I commented in my best ‘innocent’ tone, “the Horner Crystal actually earned me more money than three years of your salary here.”
Barney snarled and stood up, growing another foot taller. He obviously didn’t like the reminder of our first encounter as hero and villain, and how I’d gotten away from him with my prize, making him look like a fool in the process. Of course, it hadn’t been difficult since he’d done most of the work himself.
The former hero looked like he was going to charge across the café and attack me. If he did, then he’d be breaking our truce and I’d be free to retaliate. Of course, it wasn’t like he was keeping the truce as it was. He’d already manipulated the Teletubbies and sent the whole group after me, using them as proxies in our feud.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” a new voice said.
Louis Geintz now stood in the middle of the Brown Moose, having appeared out of nowhere. Of course, he wasn’t actually here, and this was just a psychic projection. Still, it was hard to ignore his presence, even if I hadn’t considered him a friend.
“Have a seat,” I said, gesturing the empty seats at my table. “And help yourself to some of my onion rings.” Of course, since he wasn’t physically present, my onion rings were safe. It was easy to share when you knew the other person couldn’t accept.
“Thank you, Christine,” Louis responded with a smile. “But I’m afraid that I’m here on business rather than pleasure.”
“Oh?” I asked curiously. “You want to commission a FORGERY of the Mona Lisa for your tank?” I glanced over to Barney, who’d returned to his seat and normal size, though he was still glaring at me.
“As nice as that might be,” Louis told me with a chuckle, “I’m afraid not. Mrs. Carson requested to see you in her office.”
Louis had specifically referred to her as ‘Mrs. Carson’ rather than as ‘Liz’, which meant that this was indeed a business issue. I nodded at that. “You can tell her that I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Finally,” Barney announced triumphantly. “Your mockery of this school is at an end.”
“My mockery never ends,” I replied in a cheerful tone. “And on that note, I hope that your career is as long and satisfying as the drummers from Spinal Tap.”
With that, I got up, gave Barney a mocking one-finger salute, and then left the Brown Moose. I was just a little annoyed because I’d barely returned to the Village from the main campus, now I had to turn around and go right back.
I was curious about what Carson wanted with me on a Sunday afternoon, and admittedly, a little worried. What if Barney was right and she wanted to fire me? I would absolutely hate to give him that satisfaction.
When I arrived at Carson’s office, the door was open so I went on in. she was sitting at her desk, dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. This was her weekend wear rather than her usual business attire, which meant that whatever this was, it had probably been short notice and unexpected.
“What’s up?” I asked curiously.
The look that Carson gave me was hard to read, but that wasn’t too surprising. She’d had a lot of time to practice her poker face.
After a few seconds, she answered, “There’s a problem with one of our students…”
I raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t respond. Was she referring to Aegis and the trouble from yesterday? I’d stepped in before he’d had a chance to actually fight Adamant, but the fact that he’d put himself in danger in the first place might be an issue. Or was she referring to Melissa? Melissa had played a few pranks lately, but I didn’t see Carson coming to me about that.
“Or more accurately,” Carson said with a sigh, “there is a problem with a future student…”
“Now I’m confused,” I admitted.
“Now you know how you make the rest of us feel,” a familiar voice said from the speaker phone.
I glanced at the phone for a moment, wondering why my boyfriend was on my boss’ phone. “I didn’t expect to hear from you again so soon,” I said.
“And I didn’t expect to call you again so soon,” Ryan admitted. “And certainly not like this. Unfortunately, this isn’t a personal call.”
“So I gathered,” I responded wryly, giving Carson a curious look and waiting for an explanation.
However, it wasn’t Carson who began the explanation, but Ryan. “I was at the airport this morning when I received a call a call from a hero group, who requested my help as backup on their current mission. From what I’ve been told, a villain called Fiddleback attacked a school bus and took all the children hostage.”
“Fiddleback?” I exclaimed.
“You’ve heard of him?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I’ve never met the guy, but I heard he’s a real piece of work. A baseline with a private army, a taste for exotic weaponry, and a history of arms dealing and human trafficking. Is that why you called? You wanted to pick my brain about him?”
“Actually,” Carson said, reminding me that she was there. “One of the students on that bus is a mutant, who was scheduled to begin attending Whateley next semester.”
“Which explains your interest,” I said, nodding in acknowledgement. “You think our future student was the actual target.”
“Perhaps,” Carson explained with a scowl. “It does seem likely. But unfortunately, he hasn’t actually begun attending our school yet, so doesn’t fall under our normal protections. This limits our options.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’ve already got some heroes on the case,” I pointed out wryly. “But that does bring up the question as to why I’m here. I don’t know Fiddleback, but I’ll be happy to tell you what little I do know. In fact, I’ll even go so far as to call in a favor and see if I can find where he’s hiding these kids…”
“We already know where he is,” Ryan answered, his tone grim. He sounded more like the Chickenhawk I’d known for so long. “The problem is, he has the kids. He has seventeen hostages.”
My eyes widened a little at that. Seventeen kids. My heart ached for them.
“We…I need you to help rescue those kids,” Ryan said.
I nearly choked at that. “I’m not a hero,” I reminded Ryan, wondering if he’d lost his mind.
“Melissa might argue otherwise,” Ryan said in a gentle tone. “Besides, I don’t need another hero. I need a thief. I need someone sneaky enough to figure out how to get past Fiddleback’s guards and security so we can get those kids out safely, and you’re the best thief I know.”
“I’m also retired,” I protested, looking to Carson for help on this.
“Well, if this is too much of a challenge for you,” Carson said.
I gave her a flat look. Did she really think the whole reverse psychology thing was going to work on me? I’d used it too many times on too many people to not recognize the tactic.
“Superhawk Is right,” Carson said a few seconds later. She scowled deeply as she admitted, “This particular situation requires more of a subtle touch, one that understands how to bypass security. One of those kids is a future student at this school. He may not have begun classes yet, or even arrived on campus, but he is still one of our kids, and I will NOT just stand by and allow our students to be taken. If it wasn’t for the hostages, I’d fly over and deal with Fiddleback myself. And if it wouldn’t cause more problems than it would solve.”
Ryan jumped in a moment later, adding, “Christine… You’re the best chance these kids have at the moment.”
“But I’m not a hero,” I protested weakly, almost pouting. “And I’m retired…”
“I can’t make you do this,” Carson told me with a sigh. “But I am asking you to help recover our student.”
I leaned back into the chair and let out a sigh. “I’m not a hero,” I repeated yet again, looking back and forth between Carson and the phone. “If word gets out that I’m running around and saving people, it would ruin my reputation.” Then I paused for a moment before grinning. “Unless…”
“Unless what?” Ryan asked from the other end of the speaker. I could hear the wariness in his voice.
“The mercenary clause,” I explained cheerfully. My tail swished back and forth behind me. “The villain rule book clearly says that if you’re doing a job you’ve been paid for, regardless of who hires you, it’s just a business arrangement and nothing more. So, as long as this is a business arrangement, my reputation as a professional is safe.”
“How…mercenary,” Ryan responded in a wry tone. Carson stared at me with an expression I couldn’t quite read, then she let out an exasperated sigh.
“Well, I am a professional,” I responded with an evil grin, before leaning towards the speaker and saying, “Now, let’s talk business.”
-------------------
New Jersey, Sunday late afternoon, Nov 11th 2007
I was crouched down in the corner, using my chameleon field to remain invisible and hidden. At the moment, I was wearing my working outfit, and not the slacks and blouse I used for teaching. My other working outfit, the red and black catsuit.
When I’d woken up this morning, this hadn’t been the way I’d expected my day to go. I’d expected some classes in the morning and a nice relaxing afternoon. Now, here I was, sneaking into the headquarters of a superhero group. This was a great day.
After I’d negotiated my payment with Ryan, I’d immediately rushed off to catch a plane. Now here I was, in New Jersey, sneaking into the Shielder’s headquarters…again.
The Shielders had a pretty nice war room. There was a huge table in the middle of the room, several monitors on the wall that were set to local news channels, and most importantly, a professional grade espresso machine. I was seriously tempted to go over and make myself a cup while I waited.
Of course, since this was the Shielders’ headquarters, it only made sense that they were all gathered around the table. I’d met these heroes before, which meant that this was going to be interesting.
Brandywine had short white hair and a violet costume that was made of lightweight armor in a very similar style to what Chickenhawk wore. This heroine was Ryan’s sister, which meant that she was also Melissa’s aunt. And of course, she also hated me, probably for good reason. I’d made fun of her name and inventions, not to mention the fact that I’d made her and her whole group look like fools when they’d gone back on a deal we made.
Standing beside Brandywine was Miss Magic, a woman with auburn hair and a blue sequined tuxedo. She looked like she should have been on a stage in Vegas rather than out in the field as a hero.
The Emerald Avenger wore a green and dark green costume, which included a hood and cowl that covered the top half of his face. His old costume had been pretty generic and almost cliché in style, though he’d changed it a bit since the last time I’d seen him.
And then there was Polarstorm, the last member of the Shielders. Polarstorm, or Fuzzy Wuzzy as I preferred to call him, was a nearly eight foot tall, anthropomorphic polar bear, wearing a pair of pants. His fur was coming back nicely and was almost as long as it had been before I’d decided to teach him a lesson.
The final person who was standing beside the table was Chickenhawk. Ryan was dressed up in his familiar costume, which was dark blue and white, and made of lightweight armor.
“We need to just go up to the front door and kick Fiddleback’s butt,” Fuzzy Wuzzy announced.
“He has hostages,” Miss Magic reminded him. I’d been watching them for the past ten minutes, and this was the third time she’d had to tell him.
“If we try anything, Fiddleback will kill the kids,” Brandywine repeated…again.
The Emerald Avenger looked to Chickenhawk. “You said that you found a…consultant to help us get these kids out safely.”
“Yes,” Chickenhawk agreed. “I hired an expert in security, the best one I know.”
“Are we supposed to pick him up or something?” Polarstorm asked.
“No,” Chickenhawk responded with a wry smile. “She’ll meet us here, and will probably even let herself in.”
Brandywine chuckled at that. “Let herself in... I designed the security myself. Nobody is getting in again…” She glanced to Polarstorm. “Not after the last time.”
“This place is impenetrable,” the Emerald Avenger assured Chickenhawk.
“Impenetrable?” I called out, recognizing my cue when I heard it. I dropped my chameleon field and suddenly ‘appeared’ in a puff of smoke, courtesy of a smoke bomb. “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”
“IMP!” Polarstorm and Brandywine blurted out at once while the other two Shielders just stared at me with their mouths open.
“Maybe you meant to say Imp penetrable,” I suggested with a grin. “Then again, that could be taken the wrong way…”
Polarstorm snarled and began coming at me. The other Shielders readied themselves for a fight too.
“STOP!” Chickenhawk stepping forward and getting between me and the Shielders. “I asked her to come here. Imp is the one I hired.”
There were looks of shock and disbelief at that. Brandy glared at her brother, exclaiming, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Imp has agreed to help us,” Chickenhawk insisted. “She’s our best chance at getting past Fiddleback’s security in time.”
I calmly buffed my nails against my shirt. “If you don’t want me here, I’ll just collect my pay and go. My contract stipulated that I get paid regardless of whether or not you accept my help.”
“We need her,” Chickenhawk insisted. He looked over the Shielders, his eyes locking with those of his sister. “There are currently no active warrants out for her arrest, and her probation officer has signed off on this.”
“Probation officer?” the Emerald Avenger asked in surprise.
Technically, Carson wasn’t actually my probation officer, because I wasn’t under any kind of official probation. However, she had made it her personal mission to keep an eye on me and make sure that I didn’t go straying too far back into my old line of work. After all, she’d pulled a lot of strings so I could work for her as a teacher, and she didn’t want her investment to be wasted.
“I’m on double secret probation,” I announced cheerfully.
Four pairs of hostile eyes glared at me. I just remained where I was, smirking and silently daring them to attack. I could see that all of them were tempted, especially Fuzzy Wuzzy.
My eyes carefully swept each of the heroes, settling on the Emerald Avenger. “Hey, you’re wearing your underwear on the right side of your costume now,” I exclaimed. “You’ve learned how to dress yourself, just like a grown up. I’m so proud of you…”
“Imp,” Chickenhawk cautioned me. I gave him my best innocent look. Somehow, I don’t think it worked.
“I’m going to break her in half,” Fuzzy Wuzzy exclaimed, taking another step towards me.
“Inconcievable,” I exclaimed with my best Wallace Shawn impression.
Fuzzy Wuzzy snarled angrily and took another step towards me. He looked like he was about to give into a full-on charge, which might have been amusing, though problematic under the circumstances. I needed to distract him.
“Is that a bald spot?” I asked with another innocent look, immediately making him stop to look down at his furry hide.
“As much as I hate to admit it,” Brandywine grudgingly admitted. “Superhawk might be right. We might need her.”
Miss Magic, who looked a bit too much like a showgirl with all those sequins, gave me a skeptical look. “What do you know about Fiddleback?”
“His real name is Anton Brown,” I answered evenly. “He was a pretty small-time merc and acquisitions expert until he stumbled across one of Doctor Avarice’s stashes, where he picked up some exotic weaponry and enough resources to really finance his business. He expanded his operation after that, hired a small army, and began wheeling and dealing among the villain crowd. He’s a known Humanity First sympathizer, but he’s pragmatic and has no problem doing business with mutants. And if he’s kidnapped a bunch of teenagers, then he’s probably planning to sell them…maybe to some mad scientist types who are too lazy to kidnap their own guinea pigs. He’s done that kind of thing before.”
I got a couple looks of surprise at that, which made me thankful that I’d done a little research on the way here. From what I’d learned, Fiddleback was something of a professional, in his own way, and I could almost respect that. However, his business tended to cross some lines that should never be crossed, so I was actually happy to be part of taking him down.
“This is a waste of time,” Fuzzy Wuzzy growled. “What the hell would a villain like her know about rescuing people?”
“Nothing,” I answered, staring up at the furry hero. “But when it comes to sneaking into a high-security facility, grabbing some fragile valuables, and getting those valuables out intact…I’m an expert.”
“Imp helped me rescue my own daughter from a similar situation,” Chickenhawk said, which earned me a couple more looks of surprise.
I turned my attention away from the heroes and walked over to their table, where they had several maps and diagrams spread out. I glanced over it all, recognizing some building schematics for Fiddleback’s lair. I wasn’t impressed.
“Is this all you have?” I asked. But before anyone could answer, I said, “Good thing I came prepared.”
With that, I pulled the laptop out of my small backpack and opened it up. I checked my email and was glad that Hartford had already sent me everything I’d asked for, or else that would have been embarrassing. Fortunately, for a top-end hacker like her, getting more information on the blueprints and security systems was relatively easy.
While I looked over the information, both what they’d provided and what Hartford had given me, the Shielders all clustered around. Every time one of them was about to say something, Chickenhawk shushed them. I might have been amused by that, if I hadn’t been so caught up in what I was doing.
“Good up-front security,” I finally said. “Heavily reinforced structure, automated weaponry, and a couple squads of soldiers. And even if you were able to get through, Fiddleback would have plenty of time to get to the hostages. But of course, you already knew that.”
The fact that they’d actually recognized that problem was a point in their favor. A lot of heroes would simply have charged right in, not even considering how dangerous that could be for the hostages. I’d assumed they were the same way, especially after our previous encounters, though it seemed that they had at least one cooler head in the group.
“But the backdoor security sucks,” I commented. “Fiddleback has set everything up to deal with a direct assault and hasn’t really considered someone trying to sneak in through the back door or an unlocked window. I see three possible routes of entry for a sufficiently sneaky individual. Unfortunately, none of those works as an extraction route for seventeen kids…”
When I looked up, I saw that everyone was staring at me, though Chickenhawk looked almost smug. The others all looked surprised, maybe even a bit confused. Maybe it was because I’d dropped my fun-loving and wacky persona in front of them and let them see me in a more professional mode. Damn, I hated letting heroes get a glimpse behind the curtain.
“So,” Brandywine said. “You can get in, but you can’t get the kids out.”
“Nope,” I answered honestly. “But I don’t really need to.” Then I grinned evilly and asked, “Have you ever played three card monte?”
--------------------
Berlin NH, Sunday evening, Nov 11th 2007
Five people sat in the large hotel room, warily watching each other. Though they were allies with a common purpose, they were not friends, and each knew better than to fully trust the others.
The beautiful blonde woman known as Heaven, stood up and began to pace back and forth impatiently. “She was in Boston,” she finally announced. “Yesterday. And we missed her…”
“How the hell were we supposed to know she was going to be in Boston?” the Crimson Kid demanded. “Berlin is closer to Whateley than Boston, so we all figured that she’d make an appearance here first…”
“The Imp isn’t predictable,” Jackalope snarled bitterly. “She’s chaos incarnate. A demon in the flesh.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Mistress Hex stated with a look of annoyance. She calmly adjusted her crimson cloak. “The Imp is just a woman, and soon enough, she’ll be a dead woman.”
“And that can’t happen soon enough,” the last member of Imp Revenge Squad said, absently rubbing his prosthetic hand.
The villain, once known as the Provoker, hated the Imp more than he could express. He’d once been a respected mercenary, at least in his own mind, but no more. Now he was a laughingstock. A joke to nearly everyone in the business, all because of her. That bitch had cut off his hand…and his leg. And then, adding insult to injury, she’d somehow convinced everyone to call him by that ridiculous name of Crash Test Dummy. He was going to kill her for that. He promised this to himself nearly every day.
“Why are we even here waiting for her?” Jackalope demanded. “We know where she lives. She’s at Whateley Academy. We should just go right over and kill her…”
“You know why,” Mistress Hex responded with a scowl. “Because she is on Whateley, and we’d all be stupid to attack her there. I am not certain about the rest of you, but I for one am not a fool.”
“Last year, that school repelled a Syndicate attack,” Crash Test Dummy reminded everyone. “Any place that has enough firepower to repel a Syndicate assault, isn’t one we want to march into.”
“How come I’d never even heard of this school until now?” Jackalope demanded. “Before last week, I had no idea it even existed…”
“Me either,” Mistress Hex reluctantly admitted. She scowled, obviously not happy about admitting any weakness or lack of knowledge.
Heaven scowled as she said, “I have. When I was younger, my father nearly sent me to that school, and I would have gone if not for some…legal problems arising.” She gave a dismissive gesture. “What I do know is that this school is protected by some very powerful people, and that attacking Imp there would be suicide. That’s obviously the reason she’s hiding there.”
“So, we simply have to wait until she leaves that place again,” Crash Test Dummy pointed out. “We know from her appearance yesterday, that she does leave…”
Mistress Hex nodded. “Yes, but we need to know when she leaves, so we can arrange a…meeting. Preferably one without anyone else interfering.”
Heaven stood back and mused, “We need someone inside…someone who can tell us when she’s leaving. Maybe we can bribe one of their guards…or even a student. That shouldn’t be too difficult.”
“I know someone who can help us,” the Crimson Kid abruptly said, suddenly getting everyone to look at him. He scowled deeply for a moment, before continuing, “Years ago, back before that demon bitch ruined me…I had an associate. We’d only worked together a couple times, but when I was looking into this school, I found out that he’s a teacher there now. If anyone in that place will help us deal with the Imp, its T Rex.”
New Jersey, Monday morning, Nov 12th 2007
New Jersey. The Garden State. Home of Tony Soprano, the Jersey Shore, the Toxic Avenger, and Fiddleback. In other words, the place was a complete dump. Then again, the Sopranos are pretty cool, so Jersey couldn’t be all bad.
Fiddleback’s lair didn’t look like much from the outside. It looked like a normal commercial building, though without any real windows. There was a sign out front that said, ‘RECLUSE VIOLIN MANUFACTURING’.
“At least it’s not a warehouse,” I commented. Some villains could be so unimaginative when it came to lairs. Any villain with real taste knows to use a nice comfy condo.
I carefully made my way around the building, keeping my distance as I did so and avoiding the cameras. The Shielders were nearby, along with Ryan, all waiting on my signal. They couldn’t do their jobs and play hero until I’d done mine.
“Just like any other heist,” I mused to myself. “Only with less time for planning.”
I easily slipped past the external security, avoiding the cameras, the pressure plates, and even the motion detectors. Before long, I’d reached the wall, where I immediately proceeded to climb. There was much less security on the roof than there had been around the building, but that wasn’t surprising. There were some anti-aircraft weapons set up there, but these were intended to deal with threats from the air, not from someone climbing up over the side.
“And here we are,” I said, finding the maintenance hatch. This was how technicians got up onto the roof in order to work on the anti-aircraft weapons. Of course, it was locked, but that had never stopped me before. Once I had the hatch open, I activated my radio and contacted Chickenhawk. “I’m in place and about to enter.”
“Be careful,” Chickenhawk said.
That was immediately followed by Fuzzy Wuzzy. “You’d better not screw this up.”
“Bite me, Fuzzy Wuzzy,” I responded cheerfully. “On second thought, don’t. I might get rabies.”
With that, I paused for a moment to consider how strange it was for me to be working with the Shielders. Sure, I’d worked alongside them once before when we were fighting Mauler and CHIP, but that had been more of a brief truce while we dealt with a common enemy. At least this wasn’t quite as weird as working with Chickenhawk had been that first time.
I smiled faintly as I remembered our search for Melissa, and what it had been like to deal with him in such a new and different way. We’d been allies instead of enemies, for the first time ever. That very alliance had eventually led to our current relationship.
It wasn’t until that moment that I realized that my current plan was quite similar to the one Chickenhawk and I had used to rescue Melissa from Pair of Dimes. Back then, I snuck into Paradigm’s headquarters to find the prisoner while Chickenhawk had knocked on the front door, providing a nice distraction. We were doing the same thing now, only with more prisoners and more people knocking on the door.
“That should make this interesting,” I announced with a chuckle.
Once I was inside the building, I made my way to where I suspected the kids were being held. It was one of the few places on the blueprints that would have been perfect for some kind of dungeon. I just had to be careful not to be seen by any of the people who wandered down the hallway. Fortunately for me, with my amazing brilliance, unmatched talent, and chameleon field, I was able to do that with no problem.
When I reached the suspected dungeon, I let out a quiet stream of profanity. Instead of a dungeon, I’d found a storage room full of folded sheets and spare uniforms, not to mention some large bins full of dirty clothes. This wasn’t a dungeon, it was the laundry room.
“Not the first time blueprints didn’t cover everything,” I muttered in annoyance. “And it won’t be the last.”
Fortunately, I’d been prepared for this eventuality and had mentally noted the other places where the kids were likely to be held. With that in mind, I simply went to the next closest one on my list, where I found a locked door with two guards positioned beside it.
“Bingo,” I muttered with a grin. I don’t think that Fiddleback would have Lenny and Squiggy guarding a storage closet, which meant that this had to be the right place.
I reached to my belt and pulled out a small canister that looked like it should hold some pepper spray. And while that could have been a lot of fun, this would be a little more effective.
“No problemo,” I whispered.
With that, I climbed up the wall and onto the ceiling, using my chameleon field to stay invisible and unseen. I had to move slowly so that they didn’t see the blurred edges of my field, but I’d had a lot of practice doing that. I made my way to the space right above the guards, without them having any idea I was there. Then it was a simple matter of spraying each of them with that knockout spray. Both collapsed to the ground, no longer a problem.
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word,” I quietly sang out as I unlocked the door. “Imp’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.”
The door slid open in Star Trek fashion, revealing that I was definitely in the right place. There were a dozen beds in the room, and nearly each one had a teenager on it. Most of the kids were sitting on the beds, with a couple laying down and obviously trying to nap. However, I also noticed that each kid had a shackle around one of their ankles, with the other end of a chain connected to the beds themselves
My eyes narrowed as I took in this sight, and a surge of anger welled up inside me. These kids were all about the same age as my freshman and sophomore students. They were about the same age as Melissa.
All the kids turned to stare at me, but one girl screamed and yelled out, “IT’S A DEMON!”
“I am not a demon,” I said, trying to hide the annoyance. “Just your friendly neighborhood Spider Imp.”
“What?” the nearest boy asked with a worried look.
“Come with me if you want to live,” I said in my best Schwarzenegger voice. I’ve always wanted to say that. However, when that didn’t work, I decided to try Luke Skywalker instead. “My name is the Imp and I’m here to rescue you.”
“A demon…,” the one girl cried out again, trying to get as far away from me as she could, though the furthest she could go was to the bed beside her.
However, one of the boys stared at me and exclaimed, “I think she’s a mutant…like Jerome.”
That caught my attention because Jerome Hubbard was the kid that Carson had told me about, the one who was supposed to attend Whateley next semester. However, when I looked around, none of these kids matched his description. In fact, there were fewer kids here than there were supposed to be. I only counted ten, not the seventeen who’d been taken.
“Where are the other kids?” I asked, walking up to the first kid and grabbing the chain around his ankle. “I was told that there were seventeen of you…”
“They…got taken away,” the kid in front of me blurted out, staring at me with a fearful expression. “On a helicopter.”
I formed a PK claw and sliced through the chain, freeing the boy from his bed. Then I walked over to the next kid and did the same thing. At this point, the kids realized that I wasn’t going to hurt them and seemed to relax a little. At least, most of them did. The one girl was making the sign of the cross.
“They did that before we got here,” one girl offered with a worried expression. “They took my best friend, Sherry…”
I scowled at that, then turned on my radio. “Impress to Chickenhawk, come in Chickenhawk. Do you hear me, over?”
“You don’t need to do that,” Chickenhawk said over the radio.
“Understood,” I responded. “Over.”
“You don’t need to say over,” Chickenhawk said with a note of exasperation.
I smiled faintly at that, and probably would have continued to mess with him, but I didn’t have time for that. “I found the kids, but seven of them are missing. Apparently, Fiddleback sent them off by chopper before they even arrived here. Give me five minutes to move these kids, then you guys can come and knock on the door.”
“Are you rescuing us?” one boy asked in a quiet voice.
“More or less,” I answered with a grin. “A group of heroes is about to come charging in to the rescue, and I’ve been hired to steal you from Fiddleback and keep you safe.” I gestured to the first two boys that I’d freed and said, “You two, grabby Lenny and Squiggy there and drag them inside.”
It only took me a minute to get all the kids free of their chains, even the girl who thought I was a demon. I had a feeling that she could be a real problem, but fortunately, one of her friends was trying to keep her calm and under control. That was good because I didn’t have time for any distractions.
As soon as the kids were free, I had them step out of the room, then I messed with the lock a bit and closed the door. Now, when Fiddleback or his people came to check on the kids, they’d find the door locked shut. Hopefully, they’d assume the kids had locked themselves inside or something, and would waste a lot of time trying to get through the door.
“Are you a hero?” one girl tentatively asked.
I snorted at that. “Nope. I’m an art teacher.” That had all the kids staring at me.
Instead of explaining that, I told them, “I can’t get you out the way I came in, and soon, it’s going to be very dangerous outside. So for now, we’re going to find a safe place to hunker down while the heroes deal with Fiddleback and his people.”
With that, I began leading the kids to the area that I’d picked out on the map. When I ran into someone in the hallway, I leapt at him, hit him with a face full of knockout spray, then tossed him into a random cleaning closet. After this, we made our way to the basement complex, which was filled with things like the furnace, plumbing, and other necessities that were kept out of sight.
Since the kids were all scared and confused, I decided to lay things out straight for them. “When the Shielders make their move, Fiddleback or his people might try to grab you guys to use as hostages. However, they’re going to look at that room where you used to be, rather than where you are now. And if they happen to come down here, well, there are several side paths we can take. We can keep moving, so they won’t be sure where we are. Worst case scenario, we play this like an episode of Scooby Doo, where we run back and forth, from room to room, while they chase us, and some groovy chase music plays in the background.”
“What?” one of the kids asked, giving me a blank look.
I rolled my eyes. “Education these days. You don’t even know the classics.” Then I sadly shook my head at that, silently promising myself that I was going to make sure Melissa received a proper education, even if it meant cartoon marathons every Saturday till the end of the year. “Fiddleback and his people are about to be too busy to go running around this place, looking for you guys. So, sit tight but keep a watch on the doors, just in case.”
“Just a heads up,” Chickenhawk’s voice said over my radio. “We’re ringing the doorbell.”
“Yay,” I responded over the radio. “I love ding-dong ditch.” Then with an evil grin and a wide swish of my tail, I added, “Over.”
Now, I just had to sit back and wait for Chickenhawk and the Shielders to finish with their part. My instinct was to go harass Fiddleback, or maybe shut off the power and lights to his headquarters, then make a bunch of spooky ghost noises. However, my job was to keep the kids safe, which meant that I had to remain where I was. Sometimes, I really hated being responsible. It was so BORING.
“Have you guys ever heard about a superhero called Optiman?” I asked with a grin. If nothing else, I could at least distract these kids from their fear
After this, I began tell the story, which was quite humorous, partly due to my fantastic storytelling abilities, and partly because the hero in question had been a real idiot. It didn’t take long before I had my audience listening in rapt attention, even the girl who thought I was a demon.
It was nearly half an hour after this that Chickenhawk’s voice came out over the radio again. “We’ve captured Fiddleback, but some of his people are still loose. Stay where you are until we come to you.”
“Gotcha,” I responded cheerfully. “Over.”
“You hear that?” I said to the kids. “It’s pretty much over. It looks like you’ll all be back home in time for lunch.”
A short time later, Chickenhawk and Brandywine arrived, announcing that they’d cleared a path for the kids to leave. I let out a sigh of relief because my job was done.
“Thank you, Miss Imp,” one girl exclaimed, throwing her arms around me in a hug before rushing off with the rest of her friends.
Chickenhawk just watched this with a smirk. “What?” I demanded a little self-consciously.
“You seem to have a way with teenage girls,” he said in amusement.
“Well, I used to be one myself,” I responded wryly.
As we left the building, I overheard Brandywine grudgingly admitting to Chickenhawk, “All right, she came through.” However, she didn’t say a word to me, which was fine.
Outside the building, I saw nearly two dozen men in uniforms, sprawled out on the ground with their hands zip-tied behind them. Off to the side, there was a pile of high tech weapons and power armor, which looked to be in pretty rough shape.
Fuzzy Wuzzy stood next to the prisoners, his furry arms crossed as he tried to look tough and intimidating. It seemed to be working because nobody was giving him any trouble.
Then I saw Fiddleback, who looked just like he did in his pictures. He was wearing a suit of lightweight armor, which was all green and gray, including the mask that covered his entire head. He had a green cape draped around behind him as well, and in the middle of the cape, there was a black shape like a fiddle.
I was a little confused by Fiddleback’s costume since his name was a reference to the brown recluse spider, which was often called a fiddleback spider because it had a marking on the back that resembled a violin. Because of that, I would have expected him to have a brown costume with an obvious spider theme. The spider theme was there, in the green and black patterns, which resembled eight green spider legs wrapping around his torso, but it was fairly subtle.
Even though Fiddleback was supposed to be pretty dangerous, he was tied up with ordinary looking rope. Of course, Miss Magic was standing a short distance away, keeping an eye on him, so I suspected that these ropes were anything but ordinary. The fact that he just stood there motionless, not even trying to struggle against the ropes, only served to support this.
Fuzzy Wuzzy glared at me and announced, “We should be cuffing her along with the rest of this scum.”
“You’re welcome to try,” I responded cheerfully.
“Don’t tempt me,” Brandywine commented with a scowl.
Tempting her actually sounded like a whole lot of fun, and I could imagine trying to sit on her shoulder and giving her some bad advice. That could actually be a blast. Unfortunately, the police were just arriving en masse, and I had absolutely no desire to deal with them…or risk getting shot on sight. So, I backed off, slipped out of sight, and waited.
This whole mission had actually been pretty quick and easy. Too quick and easy. Sure, we’d gotten the kids out safely, captured Fiddleback, and shut down his operation. However, in spite of all that, I still felt like we’d failed. Seventeen kids had been taken, and only ten of them had been rescued. Seven kids were still missing.
--------------------
Shielders’ Headquarters NJ, Monday late afternoon, Nov 12th 2007
I was in the Shielders’ war room, leaning back in my chair and watching the heroes discuss the situation with Fiddleback and his hostages. I probably shouldn’t have been there for that part. In fact, I probably shouldn’t have been there at all. Technically, my job was done. I’d done what I’d been brought in to do, which was bypass Fiddleback’s security and get his hostages out. It wasn’t my fault that not all the hostages had been there.
Carson wasn’t going to be happy about this. Her whole rationalization for Whateley getting involved, even indirectly via my assistance, was that Fiddleback had taken a future student of ours. Unfortunately, Jerome Hubbard hadn’t been with those hostages. He was still out there somewhere, along with six other kids. That did not sit right with me. Not at all.
“What the hell is she still doing here?” Fuzzy Wuzzy demanded, gesturing at me.
I had been sitting back against the wall, nowhere near the table and their conversation. It seemed that they’d forgotten all about me, at least until now.
“She’s done her part,” Brandywine agreed, giving me a flat look. “We don’t need you here anymore.”
“This isn’t over yet,” I said, ignoring the fact that Brandywine was simply saying what I myself had been thinking. “I wasn’t hired JUST to break into Fiddlesticks’ house. I was hired to help get those kids back, and I won’t get paid until they are. Besides, one of those kids is a mutant, and my other employer was very specific about wanting to get him back home.”
“Other employer?” Brandywine asked suspiciously.
“Her…probation officer,” Chickenhawk quickly cut in. “She’s a former hero with her own interest in this case, which is why she allowed the Imp to get involved.”
Miss Magic smirked faintly. “So, you’re being paid by two different people to perform the same job. That sounds rather questionable…”
“And two heroes at that,” the Emerald Avenger said, looking amused too.
I just shrugged. “Hey, even us fabulous Imps have to pay bills and put food on the table.” Then I grinned before exclaiming, “Mmmmm… Lobster, caviar, and REALLY good pizza…”
“The bitch is going to stab us in the back and screw us over,” Fuzzy Wuzzy warned, fixing me with a hate filled gaze. “She’s probably working with Fiddleback.”
“Are you sure you aren’t a member of the IRS?” I asked him curiously.
Fuzzy Wuzzy gave me a look of confusion, which I took to mean that he’d never heard of the Imp Revenge Squad. At least that was good news. I didn’t want to have to worry about those idiots showing up again while I was busy with this.
I glanced to the clock on the wall and scowled. I’d been so busy with this that I’d missed every one of my classes today, and at the rate this was going, I’d probably miss them tomorrow too. I was particularly annoyed at that, because I liked teaching those classes. Whoever was lucky enough to sub for me, was going to owe me big for that privilege.
“Look,” the Emerald Avenger said, turning back to the topic at hand and pointedly ignoring me. “Fiddleback isn’t talking yet, but a couple of his people are…”
Miss Magic nodded at that. “Apparently, we’re dealing with two groups…besides Fiddleback and his people. According to one of the soldiers, six of the kids were shipped off to some mad scientist who wants guinea pigs for some super soldier process.”
“Why are scientists always mad?” I asked in my best innocent tone. “Can’t they just be happy…?”
Brandywine glared at me while Chickenhawk held back a laugh…barely. “Idiot,” Brandywine muttered in annoyance.
I grinned at that setup. “Wait, you’re a gadgeteer…and you’re mad…” I made a mock gasp of horror, “She’s a mad scientist... Lock up your guinea pigs…”
Brandywine glared at me again, but Miss Magic quickly continued with what she’d been saying. “As Imp said, the last student is a mutant.”
“Jerome Hubbard,” I said, becoming a little more serious. “He’s a healer, which means that there are probably a lot of people who’d love to get their hands on him.”
Several of the Shielders gave me a look of surprise, probably because they’d known that he was a mutant, but not what his powers were. Unlike them, I had access to the application paperwork he’d submitted to Whateley, so I knew a few things about him that they didn’t.
Miss Magic nodded. “Yes. And according to the man I questioned, Fiddleback had a deal to sell Jerome before they’d ever captured him. It seems that Jerome was the actual target of the kidnapping, and Fiddleback simply took the other kids as a…bonus.” She had a look of disgust and anger on her face, and I could agree completely. There were some lines that should never be crossed, and selling kids was pretty high on that list.
“So, who has Jerome?” I asked in a cold tone, fixing Miss Magic with my gaze. “Who did Fiddlesticks sell him to?”
“Yes, I’d like to know that too,” Chickenhawk said with a growl while the others nodded their agreement.
The sequined hero hesitated, then let out a sigh, looking almost defeated. “I don’t know. The ones I questioned didn’t know either. All they knew was that it was a small group of men who’d bought weapons from Fiddleback before. They had no costumes or uniforms, used no names, and dealt strictly in cash.”
“So, we’ll just have to question Fiddleback directly,” Fuzzy Wuzzy exclaimed, punching one hand into an open palm in a threatening matter. For once, I actually agreed with the hairball.
“Won’t do much good,” Brandywine said with a bitter look. “He’s in police custody and has already lawyered up. Our only chance is if they convince him to cut a deal.”
“There is one clue,” Miss Magic said with a grim expression. “One thing they remembered that might be useful.” Everyone was staring at her now. “Apparently, whenever these men showed up, they all wore pins of a blue triangle.”
“A blue triangle?” the Emerald Avenger asked with a thoughtful look. “It doesn’t sound familiar.”
“No,” Brandywine added a moment later. “It doesn’t.”
Chickenhawk turned to me. “Do you know anyone who uses a blue triangle?”
I considered that for a moment before shaking my head. “Nope.” Then I hesitated for a couple seconds before admitting, “But I know someone who might.”
“Can you call this person?” Chickenhawk asked.
I shook my head. “Nope. This is the kind of conversation you need to have face to face.” I slowly stood up and stretched. “I’ll guess I’ll just head on over to Atlantic City and have a talk with him.”
“I’ll go with you,” Chickenhawk said.
“No,” Brandywine interrupted. “I’ll go with her.” She fixed me with a suspicious look. “I don’t trust her, especially since you two have a history. She might take the opportunity to stick a knife in your back when you aren’t looking.”
Chickenhawk gave her a wry look while it was all I could do to keep from laughing. “This isn’t the kind of place a hero should be going…”
“Too bad,” Brandywine told me with a stubborn expression. “Someone has to keep an eye on you.”
“Oh, you like watching me?” I asked, giving her a sexy pose. “I didn’t know you swung that way…” The look on her face made me chuckle.
“Why do I not see this working out well?” Chickenhawk muttered.
I started to walk towards the door while Brandywine followed behind. However, Chickenhawk stopped his sister for a few words. I was halfway across the room, but I could hear most of what he said.
“Imp is a lot smarter and more capable than she usually lets on,” Chickenhawk told his sister. “Don’t underestimate her.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Brandywine responded, sounding skeptical.
“And in spite of how she acts, she is a professional,” Chickenhawk added. “Once she makes a deal, she sticks to it, unless you break your end first. You might not like her, but you can trust her to do what she’s been hired for.”
Brandywine caught up to me, then warned, “I saw the way you were looking at Superhawk. If you have any plans of trying to seduce him and wrap him around your fingers for whatever reason, forget it. He’s not stupid enough to fall for it.”
“Really?” I asked with a grin and a snicker, before teasing her, “Do you mean I should try seducing you instead?” She glared at me.
All I could do was shake my head and grin. This was the first time that anyone had ever accused me of being some sort of femme-fatale seductress. I liked it.
“Come my faithful sidekick,” I exclaimed dramatically. “To the Impmobile...”
--------------------
Atlantic City NJ, Monday evening, Nov 12th 2007
“Are we there yet?” I asked enthusiastically. The question was a classic, even a tradition for car trips.
“How the hell should I know?” Brandywine snapped in annoyance. “You’re the one driving.”
I was sitting behind the wheel of my rental car, rented under a false identity of course. For some reason, most places weren’t thrilled about renting cars to known supervillains and thieves.
Brandywine and I had been driving for about an hour, crossing half of Jersey in order to get to Atlantic City. Of course, the Shielders actually had better transportation options, ones that would have gotten us to our destination by now if Brandywine hadn’t been so stingy. Of course, she was keeping the chopper back at the headquarters along with the rest of her team in case some kind of emergency popped up. Apparently, Brandy Swine didn’t trust me or my contact enough to consider this a legitimate use for the thing.
In spite of my cheerful grin, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about spending so much time trapped in a car, especially not with a hero who wanted to haul me in by my tail. I kept expecting her to try jumping me at any minute, even though I was the one driving. Still, old habits were hard to break, especially when that kind of paranoia was what had helped to keep me alive for so long.
“Do you even have a driver’s license?” Brandywine demanded.
“Of course,” I responded with a grin. “I got it out of a Cracker Jack box.”
The heroine crossed her arms and grumbled to herself, obviously no happier about this situation than I was. Her discomfort actually improved my own mood a bit. Maybe the old saying was true. Misery did love company.
A couple minutes later, my passenger demanded, “Are we there yet?” She was obviously attempting to mess with me, though the question only made me grin.
“Yep,” I answered cheerfully.
Brandywine gave me a look of surprise. “Really?”
“Nope,” I told her with a chuckle. “I was just pulling your tail.” She glared at me. A minute later, I announced, “Now we’re here…”
I pulled the car into the parking lot of a nightclub called the Silver Lining. It was a nice place, which I knew since I’d been here a couple times before on business, and even once for pleasure. This was a great place to come for a drink or two when I happened to be in town. After all, it was the local equivalent to the Black Mask, though admittedly, a bit more open to the public than my favorite watering hole back home.
“Okay,” I told Brandywine, giving her my ‘serious’ face so that she’d know this was important. “Heroes aren’t exactly welcome here, so you should probably cover up your costume. Of course, they aren’t exactly banned either, and as long as you don’t go starting any trouble, we should be fine. Still, it’s a good idea not to go looking for any in the first place.”
I climbed out of the car and put on a long overcoat and a wide-brimmed hat to help hide my features. It would have been a lot more effective if I’d simply put on my magic amulet and went in as Candice Kade, but I wasn’t about to risk that identity here…and especially not in front of a hero like my companion. Fortunately, Brandywine took my hint and put a long coat of her own, which would help hide her costume.
At the front door, there was a well-dressed bouncer who looked us both over before asking, “Shouldn’t you be using the back door?”
“Nope,” I answered evenly. “I’m not some employee or delivery girl who needs to go around to the back.”
The bouncer shrugged but let us in. The inside of the Silver Lining was really nice and classy, in an old school Vegas kind of way. I could easily imagine the Rat Pack sitting back and holding court in a corner booth.
Everywhere I looked, people were drinking, dancing, or sitting at tables for a private card game. I even recognized one or two of them, like the Witch Queen, who was wearing a nice dress.
There was also a huge bruiser, over seven feet tall and bulging with muscle, who was wearing an expensive suit that had to have been tailor made. I immediately recognized Adamant, who had obviously made his way out of Boston successfully.
This was the public face of the Silver Lining, the area where civilians and visitors were encouraged to come and have a good time. Villains and other people in related professions were dressed in civilian attire and mingling among them.
Of course, there was another part of the Silver Lining, the ‘VIP’ area, which was accessible through the ‘back door’. That was for villains who wanted to show up in costume or conduct business in a neutral location. However, that wasn’t my destination, and I certainly didn’t want to bring Brandywine back there. No, I was here for something else.
“Pretty busy for a Monday night,” I commented.
“I’ve heard of this place before,” Brandywine said as she glanced around. “It’s supposed to be pretty popular.” Then she gave me a curious look. “Why are we here? I don’t think you drove us here just for some drinks.”
“They have great drinks,” I protested. “I mean, they make a great old-fashioned here…” Then I looked around again before adding, “But you are right. That isn’t why we’re here.”
With that, I led Brandywine towards the back, out of the public area. There was a set of wide wooden doors, which were currently closed, along with two people guarding them. One was the obvious guard, a big guy who looked like he was probably a brick. However, sitting off to the side was a short and slender guy, who looked like he might be a janitor. I was experienced enough to know not to be fooled by appearances. The little guy probably had some kind of nasty power that made him the real threat. The big guy was for intimidation and keeping people from causing problems while the little guy was probably for actually dealing with those problems.
“Hello,” I said with a friendly grin, careful not to make any threatening moves. “I’m here to talk with your boss. He’s expecting me.”
“The name on your reservation?” the little guy asked in a polite tone.
“Imp,” I answered in my best Sean Connery accent. “Jane Imp.”
The little guy glanced to Brandywine then touched the radio bud in his ear. He muttered something under his breath, though I couldn’t quite make it out. A few seconds later, he nodded. “You can go on in.”
Once the big guy opened the door, Brandywine and I went in. I immediately took off my hat since I had no reason to wear it in here, and looked around.
The first thing that I noticed was that the large room was split into two. On one side, there was a room that looked like a fairly ordinary office, with bookshelves, a desk, and so on. But on the other side, there were some couches, a table, and even wall covered with TV screens, each showing various news channels or images from the building security cameras. It was a cross between a living room, a private room in the club, and a security office. There was also partitioned wall that could come down and separate the two sections, depending on how they wanted to greet visitors.
There were three people sitting down on the casual side of the room, a man and two women. The man was middle-aged, with dark hair that was liberally sprinkled with gray, and he was wearing a nice suit. This was the owner of the Silver Lining, a former supervillain and mercenary who’d retired from active duty in order to build this club.
Sitting beside him was a beautiful blonde woman in a white dress. She was probably in her forties, but she wore it well and still looked quite attractive. And then, there was a younger woman of about nineteen or twenty, who was dressed in slacks and a jacket. Her dark hair covered half her face in a peekaboo fashion, so that only one green eye seemed to be staring at me.
“Focus,” I said in greeting.
“Imp,” he responded, holding out his hand for me to shake. “I haven’t seen you in awhile.”
“I’ve been busy,” I told him.
Focus just chuckled faintly at that. “So I’ve heard. How are you enjoying the new career?”
I was a little surprised that he’d heard about that, but not too much. It wasn’t like I’d been keeping it a huge secret, and gossip did tend to spread through the community.
“It’s…different,” I answered honestly. “But I’m enjoying it.”
Focus nodded at that, then admitted, “My latest protégé attends the school and mentioned you were there.”
“Oh?” I responded curiously. “What’s his name?” He probably wouldn’t answer that with Brandywine there, but I was curious.
To my surprise, Focus answered, “Her name is Lodestone.”
“I’ve met her,” I told him with a grin. “In fact, my own protégé is her roommate…”
“It is a small world,” Focus said with a knowing smile that made me wonder if he’d already known that.
I turned my attention to the blonde woman. “Hey, Diamond. Nice to see you again.”
White Diamond smiled and gave me a nod of acknowledgement but didn’t say anything. Of course, since she was mute, I would have been surprised if she had said something. Instead, she signed a greeting to me.
When I glanced to the other woman, Focus said, “This is my associate, Michelle.”
I had a feeling that he was going to say something else, perhaps to introduce her by her professional name, whatever that was, but held back because of my companion. That was probably smart since it never paid to give away too much information, especially to someone you didn’t know.
With that, I gestured to Brandywine and started, “And this is…”
“Brandywine,” Focus finished for me. “I like to keep appraised of who the local heroes are.” He gave me a curious look. “I am curious though, about why you’re here with someone like her.”
“I’m running a side-job,” I explained. “And it just happens to coincide with what the heroes are doing, so we’re helping each other out a little…for fun and profit.”
“Profit is good,” Michelle commented with a faint smile.
“If you know who I am,” Brandywine started, giving Focus a suspicious look, “then why…”
“You’re perfectly welcome here,” Focus assured her. “Just as long as you don’t cause any trouble. I run a peaceful club and fights are bad for business.”
“Focus is a legitimate businessman,” I explained to Brandywine, though the ‘legitimate’ part could be considered a bit of a stretch.
Focus owned and ran the Silver Lining, which really was a legitimate club, even if many of his customers were criminals. However, there was another side of his business, one that was a little more relevant to why I’d come here. In addition to owning the Silver Lightning, Focus was also a professional middleman. People in the business would come to him with a job that they wanted to pull, and he’d find the right people to help pull it, even providing the introductions…all for a small fee.
“As a businessman,” I said, meeting Focus’ eyes, “I figured that you’d be aware of who all the local players were, and would probably know a bit about the ones we’re looking for.”
His expression closed off into a perfect poker face. Focus was a businessman and a professional, and I’d just turned the conversation to business.
“You know that I cannot discuss any of my clients or our business dealings,” Focus said in an even tone.
“Of course,” I responded with a dismissive wave. “You’re a professional and I’d expect no less.”
Brandywine was tensed up beside me, and I could tell that she was bursting with curiosity and wanted to demand some answers. However, to her credit, she kept her mouth shut and let me do my thing.
“Now, you have me curious as to your purpose,” Focus admitted, waiting for me to explain.
“I’m looking for a group of people,” I explained. “I don’t know anything about them, other than that they’ve been doing a lot of business with Fiddleback, and that they wear pins with a blue triangle symbol.”
White Diamond signed something to Focus, who merely nodded and signed back. He glanced to Brandywine and then me. “What is your interest in this group?”
“They have something that I’ve been paid to acquire,” I explained in a cheerful tone. “So, I plan on stealing it from them.”
“SomeTHING?” Focus asked me. “Or someone?”
“Does it make a difference?” Brandywine asked.
Focus looked at her for a moment before answering, “Yes, it does.”
“Someone,” I stated flatly.
“They’re called the Triangle,” Michelle offered. I gave her a curious look. She shrugged. “I know. Real impressive name.” The sarcasm was strong with this one. I liked it.
“I’ve never had any contact with the Triangle,” Force told me with a scowl, “but several of my associates have told me about them.” He glanced to Michelle.
“I ran into them a couple weeks ago,” she told me. “It actually made me thankful for all that crap Sensei Ito put me through.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. So, Michelle was a former Whateley student. I’d been pretty sure she was in the business, and this nearly confirmed it.
“From what I understand,” Focus explained, “the Triangle is a splinter group from Humanity First.”
Brandywine blurted out, “They’re H One?”
This was not good news. Humanity First was the modern-day Klan, a national organization dedicated to their shared hatred of mutants. It was a good thing that they weren’t really all that organized or unified, or mutants in general would have been in serious trouble. As it was, any mutant who ended up in their hands, could probably expecting a lynching, bonfire, or if they were lucky…a quick bullet to the head.
Focus scowled, and this was no longer a purely professional expression. “They have a different philosophy from their parent organization, hence the split. According to their official statements, they believe that humans and mutants can coexist peacefully, and that mutant powers can greatly benefit the human race.”
“That’s…different,” Brandywine said cautiously.
“That smells like the back end of Pepe Le Pew,” I responded, feeling more than a little skeptical.
“On the surface, they appear to be benevolent,” Focus explained. “And they’ve even swayed a few mutants to their cause. However, I’ve also heard reports of them coercing mutants into helping them.”
“Like Jerome,” I mused, remembering how he’d been specifically targeted for kidnapping. “So, their real goal is to either have mutants as second-class citizens…or straight out slaves.”
“That sounds more like H One,” Brandywine said with a note of anger. For once, we actually agreed on something.
“They only have one or two hundred members at most,” Focus continued, “but they’ve been growing. And just as importantly, they’ve been buying up all the exotic weapons they can. The Triangle doesn’t have any problem doing business with mutants, and several devisors seem to have bought into their claims.”
“And now they have a healer,” I mused. “Weapons, a growing army, and now at least one healer. They’re prepping for war.”
“SHIT!” Brandywine blurted out.
Focus nodded agreement. “Some of my customers are…concerned about where this may go. Several have even suggested that they’d accept contracts against the Triangle…at a large discount.”
“Wow, that is some serious charity work,” I said. Supervillains tended to be a pretty mercenary bunch, so giving a discount on their services was a big statement. “They should get some serious tax breaks from Uncle Sam.”
“How come I’ve never heard of the Triangle before?” Brandywine asked with a deep scowl.
“The Shielders aren’t exactly proactive,” I pointed out wryly. Most heroes weren’t, even if they liked to think they were. The ones who were tended to be the vigilantes that ignored things like evidence and due process, all in the name of ‘justice’, however they defined it. “You guys would probably never even hear of the Triangle until they pulled something obvious on your turf.”
Brandywine glared at me, but she couldn’t argue with the truth. So, she made a show of ignoring me and asking Focus, “So, where are they headquartered?”
“I’m afraid that I have no idea,” Focus admitted. “I’ve heard that they have several training camps, but I don’t know where. However, there is someone who would know…”
“The Pooka,” Michelle said. “He’s been working with the Triangle, and I had a run in with him a couple weeks during a job. That’s how I found out about them.”
“I’m afraid that the Pooka is one of my clients,” Focus explained, “so I am unable to tell you where to find him.”
Michelle smirked at that. “Fortunately, I am under no such constraints and will be happy to provide that information.”
“And the price for this information?” I asked.
“Just promise that you’ll kick his ass, if you get a chance,” Michelle said with a fierce look. “He cost me a nice paycheck.”
“That I can promise,” Brandywine said with a fierce expression. “I’ve dealt with him before and look forward to getting another chance.”
“You’re welcome to him,” I said. “My only interest is in the kid. I was hired to recover him, not to take down the Triangle or some old competition.”
I glanced to Focus, thinking about everything that he’d told us about the Triangle. He could have asked for a favor in exchange for that information, but he hadn’t. The only reasons I could see why was that he either wanted us to go after the Triangle for some reason, maybe because his customers weren’t the only ones worried about them, or he simply wanted to get on the good side of the local heroes. Honestly, knowing Focus, it was probably both.
We talked for only a few more minutes before Brandywine and I had what we needed. After thanking Focus, White Diamond, and Michelle, we left the room and the Silver Lining.
Once we were back in the parking lot, Brandywine grudgingly admitted, “That was a lot more productive than I expected.”
“And what were you expecting?” I asked curiously.
Instead of answering me, Brandywine pulled out her cell phone and made a call. She chatted for just a minute before hanging up with a look of annoyance.
Brandywine didn’t say what the problem was, and I didn’t bother to ask. At least not directly. Instead, I started humming the theme music for Jeopardy until she glared at me.
“The others have a lead on the mad scientist with the kids,” she finally said, giving me a flat look. “They’re all going after him, which leaves you and I to follow this lead on our own.”
“You and I, alone in a car,” I announced with a lot more enthusiasm than I actually felt. “It’ll be just like Thelma and Louise… You know what this means?” I flashed her a broad grin before loudly exclaiming, “ROAD TRIP!”
--------------------
Philadelphia PA, Monday evening, Nov 12th 2007
Home sweet home, or more accurately, hotel smelly hotel. It wasn’t a bad hotel, as far as such places go, but it certainly wasn’t the Imp Lair.
It had been a long day. Between getting the kids out of Fiddlestick’s headquarters, dodging the cops, putting up with those annoying heroes all day, and finally, spending hours in a car with Brandywine, I was exhausted. Admittedly, Brandywine was pretty tired too, but at least she had the honor of spending the day with the fabulous Imp.
Brandywine and I made it to Philadelphia before we decided that this would be a good spot to stop for the night. And now, we were at the hotel my companion had picked out.
“I’ll go rent us a room,” Brandywine announced, pulling out her official Shielders credit card, and a fake drivers license. I took a glance at it, and it was a pretty good fake.
“I’ll take care of my own sleeping arrangements,” I responded, thinking of a much better hotel just down the street.
“You’re staying with me,” Brandywine insisted, fixing me with a flat look. “I don’t trust you on your own and want to keep an eye on you.”
“Oooh, I’m flattered,” I said with a cheerful grin.
Brandywine glared at me. “I’m watching you… I mean…” I just burst out laughing.
After giving me one more glare, Brandywine went in and got us a room with two beds. Even with my usual disguise of oversized clothes and hat, it would have been hard for me to really interact with the guy at the registration desk without him getting suspicious at the very least. I knew that from personal experience. Lots and lots of experience.
A short time later, we entered our new home for the night. I let out a sigh of relief and casually tossed my coat and hat in the general direction of a chair. They both hit the floor, but that was all right. They’d only be there for one night.
“Do you have to be such a pig?” Brandywine snapped in annoyance. She carefully placed her own coat onto a hanger and put it in the closet.
I rolled my eyes, then went over to the TV and turned it on. After flipping through the channels, I found an old Woody Woodpecker cartoon playing. With a grin, I left it there and went to check out my new bed.
As soon as I sat down om my bed, Brandywine gave the TV a look of annoyance and changed the channel, setting it to some news show. I frowned in annoyance. I had little interest in the latest political scandal, and after a long day, I just wanted to relax and have a few chuckles.
I waited until Brandywine went to the bathroom, then I got up and grabbed the remote. Bam, back to Woody Woodpecker. I even made his infamous laugh, though I needed to practice it a little more before it was ready for an official unveiling.
Brandywine came out of the bathroom a couple minutes later, having changed out of her costume and into a pair of sweats. She gave me a wary look, then glanced to the TV.
“What is this?” Brandywine demanded.
“Just giving you the bird,” I responded with a grin.
Suddenly, the remote control rose up from my bed and flew across the room, right into Brandywine’s hand. Damn her telekinesis.
“I prefer something a little less…childish,” she said, changing the channel back to the news and giving me a smug look.
“Fine,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “Whatever.”
With that, went into my luggage and pulled out my laptop. A few seconds later, I logged online and began playing a video of Woody Woodpecker with the volume turned up as loud as it could go. Brandy glared at me. I gave her a smug look.
I only watched cartoons for half an hour, just long enough to take the edge off and relax a bit. During this time, my roommate and I avoided saying a single word to each other. And while I would have enjoyed watching more cartoons, and annoying her in the process, there was something else I wanted to do.
“Time for the intermission,” I announced, grabbing a few things from my luggage and heading into the bathroom. Brandywine made a show of ignoring me, so I made a show of strutting past her with my tail swishing back and forth.
I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, letting out a sigh of relief as I did so. Sharing hotel space with a superhero I’d fought with was a bit stressful. Why couldn’t I have ended up doing this mission with Ryan. That would have been fun.
“Too late for this now,” I reminded myself. “I just have to make the best of things and deal with it.
I stripped out of my costume and then stretched out. My work wear might be fantastically stylish, but it did get uncomfortable after wearing it for so long. I tossed it to the side, then climbed into the shower.
“Ah, a nice hot shower,” I said with a sigh. “Just what I need…”
Once I was standing beneath the hot water, I began soaping up and singing, “Splish, splash, I was taking a bath, long about a Saturday night…” I raised my voice enough so that Brandywine would be able to hear me, then I continued with the song.
When I was finished with my shower, I dried off and slipped into some of my own night wear, a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I normally wouldn’t show off so much skin to a near stranger, but I’d be damned if wear a burka to bed.
I came out of the bathroom and walked right past Brandywine and her bed. She stared at me, probably a bit surprised to see the scattered patches of tiny black scales that were now visible. Fortunately, she didn’t say anything about them.
As soon as I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, I turned my attention back to my laptop. However, this time, I didn’t start playing cartoon videos, though I was tempted. Instead, I checked my email and sent updates on the mission to both Carson and Ryan.
“What are you doing?” Brandywine asked.
I smiled faintly. “I’m sending a love letter to my boyfriend.”
Brandywine gave a skeptical snort. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing that YOU have a boyfriend.”
I scowled at that, thinking, “If you only knew…” Though I was tempted to tell her that I was dating Ryan, her brother, I kept my mouth shut. I can do that on occasion. If Ryan didn’t want her knowing that he was dating his former archenemy, then I’d respect that decision.
There were several long minutes of silence before my roommate said, “Focus said something about you having a new career…” She gave me a suspicious look. “What did he mean?”
I hesitated for a moment, not sure if I should bother explaining. After all, it wasn’t like she’d believe me.
“After that whole CHIP thing,” I finally said, “I decided to retire from the acquisitions game. I’d been doing that for a long time, and it seemed like a good time for a change of career.”
“So, you just went straight?” Brandywine asked, giving me a very skeptical look.
“Of course not,” I responded with a grin. “I just decided to retire and enjoy my ill-gotten gains in peace.”
Brandywine stared at me for several long seconds. “If you’d really retired, I doubt you would have taken this job…”
“I needed the money,” I explained cheerfully. “Do you know how hard it is to live on a fixed income? Besides, it’s not like they give social security benefits to people in my old career…”
“So,” she said with a sneer, “you charge money to help save those poor kids…”
“You’re so selfless,” I exclaimed with a clear note of sarcasm. “So self-righteous. So…hypocritical.”
“What?” Brandywine demanded, jumping off her bed and glaring at me.
I met her gaze and responded with my own sneer. “Don’t try to play this off as being some kind of selfless hero. You’re getting paid for this, just like I am. The city pays the Shielders a retainer for your services, and the mayor called you guys in on this. You can play at being selfless heroes, but you’re just mercenaries, so stop trying to act noble.”
Brandywine snarled, clearly pissed off at me. I’d hit her right where it hurt, her own ego and heroic self-image. “Running a superhero group isn’t easy, nor are the resources we use to save lives. Yes, we collect payment from those who can afford it, but all that money is invested right back into saving lives.”
“With a nice percentage off the top to pay your bills,” I pointed out, knowing that they were each paid for their work as well. “After all, bills don’t pay themselves…”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brandywine snapped, though she was getting defensive. I was definitely getting a little too close for her comfort.
I smiled at her, an evil little smile as I was about to turn the screws. “I happen to know for a fact that one of your…clients…a company you Shielders have a contract with…is owned by the Syndicate. Your protests might mean a little more if you weren’t all on the Syndicate payroll.”
Brandywine glared at me, and for a moment, I thought she was actually going to attack. But instead, she turned her back and went to her own bed. Still, that ended our conversation for the night.
--------------------
Eerie PA, Tuesday afternoon, Nov 13th 2007
“You’re crazy,” Brandywine stated.
“Crazy is as crazy does,” I said in my best Forrest Gump accent. She just glared at me.
I gestured to the house across the street. It belonged to Malcolm Zeiffar, AKA, the Pooka. I had no idea how Michelle knew Pooka’s real name or where he lived, but her information checked out. This was the Pooka’s house and he was currently inside.
“If you catch him on the job, that’s just a professional risk,” I explained. “That’s just the cost of doing business and part of why we can charge as much as we do. It’s just business, and no real professional is going to take that personally. But if you attack him in his own home, without provocation, you’ve crossed a line. It’s no longer business. Its personal. And trust me, that kind of thing can cause all kinds of long-term problems.”
“He’s a criminal,” Brandywine stated firmly. “Scum. It doesn’t matter where I arrest him, as long as I do.”
“Are you sure that you want to set that precedent?” I asked, giving her a cold look. “The whole secret identity thing is all about separating your professional life from your personal. If you don’t respect his separation, why should anyone respect yours? I mean, how would you like to wake up in the middle of the night, in your own home, and find some supervillain standing over your bed?”
“That’s ridiculous,” Brandywine started to protest, looking offended by the very idea.
“Brandy Chambers,” I said, using her real name.
Brandywine froze and stared at me in surprise. “What…?”
“If I can figure out your other identity, then don’t you think other people can?” I asked her. “I’m a professional and make a clear distinction between professional and personal. If we have a professional disagreement, it stays professional. Your personal life has nothing to do with it and is completely off limits…unless you cross the line and make things personal.” I gestured at Pooka’s house again. “If you go charging in there, you cross the line…and you don’t want to deal with that.”
Brandywine stared at me, obviously still shaken by the realization that I knew her real name. Her whole secret identity was now at risk, at least as far as she was concerned.
“So, you think that it’s better for you to just go in and talk to him?” she asked, sounding more than a little sarcastic, partly to cover her worry.
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “I can talk to him, one thief to another. Maybe get a bit of professional courtesy going on.”
“You mean, conspire with him,” Brandywine hissed.
I rolled my eyes at that. “Look at it this way. If you go charging in, even if you catch him, you’ll have to take all the time of interrogating him when he won’t be feeling very cooperative. And if he gets away, well then, it takes us a LOT longer, and Jerome doesn’t have the time. If I go in and fail, then we can still do things your way.”
Brandywine wasn’t happy about that, but after a couple more minutes, I managed to convince her. I’d go in and talk to the Pooka, while she’d wait outside, just in case he made a run for it. It was a bit too close to intruding into his personal life for my tastes, but like I’d told her, our time was limited.
“Fine,” Brandywine grudgingly told me. “You get one chance.”
I looked her over, taking note of the harness she was wearing which contained a variety of gadgeteer made weapons. She was even holding some kind of large rifle that fired nets, which were fused with tasers. Nasty little toy. I just hoped that she didn’t get a chance to use any of that stuff.
“One is all I need,” I said.
A minute later, I was standing at Pooka’s front door and pushing the doorbell. When the door opened, I found myself staring at the barrel of a gun. The gun was held by a short man, about five foot three, with dark hair and a tan complexion.
Pooka and I were in the same business, or at least, we had been before I’d retired. But where I specialized in art, he focused on cash…or whatever anyone paid him to steal. Because of that, we never really competed against each other directly. Of course, if we had, it wouldn’t have been much of a competition, because I was MUCH better than he was. However, now wasn’t the time to remind him of that fact.
“Imp,” he stated with narrowed eyes.
“Pookie,” I exclaimed with a broad grin. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by…”
“What the hell do you want?” he demanded. “And how did you find me?”
“Do you mind if we discuss this inside?” I asked. “We’re kind of in the open, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want your neighbors asking questions.”
Pooka glared at me for a moment before lowering the gun and gesturing for me to enter. His house was pretty nice, though nowhere near as nice as my Imp Lair. Of course, I’d been in the business a lot longer than him, and I’d saved up a larger nest egg during that time.
“Well?” Pooka demanded. He didn’t even offer me a seat or anything to drink. Definitely a rude host.
“I’m working on a job,” I said, getting straight down to business. “But to pull this job, I need some information. I was told that you possess this information and was hoping we could make a deal.”
That seemed to catch his interest. He gave me a suspicious look and asked, “What kind of information?”
“I heard that you’ve been doing work for the Triangle lately,” I said. Pooka grunted but didn’t say anything. “I’ve been hired to…acquire something from them, but I can’t do that if I don’t know where to find them.”
“So, you want me to rat out the Triangle,” Pooka said with a sneer. He raised his gun again.
I rolled my eyes at that. “I’m not asking for any privileged information between you and your clients. I just need to know where to look. I’ll even pay a nice finder’s fee…”
My eyes remained locked on Pooka, while I tried reading him. He was a dynahost, not a mutant, so there was a chance that he was a Triangle sympathizer…or even a member. However, he had a pretty solid record for being a mercenary, more interested in money than politics. I was counting on that.
Pooka suddenly opened fire, but I’d been ready for that. I’d already focused the energy from my PK aura into a small area in front of my chest. The bullets hid my small PK shield and were stopped, much to Pooka’s surprise.
“Bad choice, Pookie,” I said with a snarl. “Last chance to do business like reasonable professionals.”
“What the fuck?” Pooka demanded.
Since the gun hadn’t worked on me, Pooka dropped it and suddenly flew up into the air, and right through the ceiling as though it wasn’t even there. Flight and intangibility were useful powers for someone in our profession. They meant that he could get into secure places and back out again before anyone even realized that he was there. Those powers also meant that he was a real pain to catch.
“Bad choice, Pookie,” I repeated again, this time with a shake of my head and exasperated sigh.
I went outside, then climbed up the wall and onto the roof. There, I found Pooka all caught up in a metal net, twitching from the current going through it. Brandywine floated in the air above him, looking rather pleased with herself.
“Why did you have to do that, Pookie?” I asked in annoyance. I was NOT happy that he’d proven Brandywine right about how useful our talk would be. “We could have done this the easy way, and you could have gotten paid.”
“My net is electrified,” Brandywine bragged, “Which keeps you from phasing through it. And its anchored to the roof, which keeps you from flying away.”
I just stared at Pooka, shaking my head in disgust as I did so. I could think of several ways out of that situation, but he seemed to be well and truly trapped. It was such a shame. He had some pretty nice powers, but he relied almost entirely on them and lacked a lot of the basic skills. I was going to make sure that Melissa didn’t make that same mistake.
“Where is the Triangle?” Brandywine demanded in the usual arrogant tone that heroes all seemed to have.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pooka lied.
Brandywine repeated the question several more times, even phrasing it different ways. However, Pooka kept giving the same response, not even bothering to change it up a bit.
I just stood back and let the hero work, watching Pooka closely as she did so. He kept looking at the anchors that were pinning the net to the roof. Maybe he was trying to figure how to get them loose, but there was an odd look in his eyes.
“You know, Pookie,” I said cheerfully. “This is a nice house. A real nice house.”
Pooka glared at me, his eyes narrowing. “I can’t believe you’re working with the heroes…”
“More of a temporary ceasefire,” I told him with a grin. “I’m being paid to do a job, and that means I have to play nice with them…for now.”
“Tell us what we want to know,” Brandywine insisted again.
“Or what?” Pooka asked with a smirk. “You’ll ask again?”
I formed a single PK claw, which was invisible to the naked eye. However, when I poked my finger into the ceiling and sliced deep into the shingle, Pooka definitely saw that. His eyes widened and I saw a look of anger. Bingo.
“Like I said,” I commented, driving my PK claw into a different shingle, “this is a really nice house. And I mean, you aren’t even renting, are you? You own this place.”
“Yeah, I own it,” Pooka responded, glaring at me and at the holes I was punching in his roof.
“I bet maintenance can get real expensive though, especially if you have to replace a roof…” I gave him an evil grin and went to poke another hole in the roof. Then I let out my Woody Woodpecker laugh, which came out even better than I’d hoped. Brandy groaned while Pooka had a look of horror.
“STOP,” Pooka blurted out. “Look, I’ll make a deal…”
“Too late,” Brandywine said, but I held up my hand to stop her.
I sat there with an evil grin on my face, holding my hands together with my fingers steepled. “Yes,” I said, “it’s time to make a deal with the devil…”
Brandywine gave me a disapproving look, but she didn’t say anything or interfere. And in spite of my theatrical pronouncement, the deal that Pooka and I agreed on was pretty simple. I’d pay him enough to get his roof redone, and he’d tell us what we wanted to know. Apparently, he’d already been having a few problems with leaks, so this worked out well for him. Of course, if he’d been willing to deal right away, he probably would have gotten a bit more.
“Then its agreed,” I said. “You tell us where to find the Triangle, and I’ll deposit the money into your account.”
“I can’t believe you’re paying him,” Brandywine grumbled bitterly.
“Of course,” I said. “This was a business discussion with…aggressive negotiation. But now that we’ve struck a deal, I have to keep up my end. It’s only professional.”
I gave Brandywine a flat look, silently reminding her that the two of us had once made a deal, but that she’d reneged on her end of it. The whole trouble with CHIP could have been prevented if the Shielders had only given me the money they’d promised, instead of using the opportunity to try trapping me.
Now that I had what I wanted, I needed to ease the hard feelings and keep this from becoming a personal grudge. After all, we had come to his home, and I’d damaged his property, so paying for his roof was a big part of that. Pooka hadn’t actually wronged me, so there was no need to turn him into a future member of the Imp Revenge Squad.
“Now, let him go,” I told Brandywine, who gave me a look of surprise.
“Are you crazy?” she demanded.
“You keep asking that,” I pointed out cheerfully. “Do you really think the answer has changed?”
“He’s a criminal,” Brandywine spat out, her eyes narrowing. “And so are you…”
“Well DUH,” I responded with a roll of my eyes. “But consider this… You came to his home…while he was in civilian guise…and not committing any crimes.”
“She’s got you there,” Pooka said, watching me with interest. Brandywine glared at him.
“You could arrest him,” I pointed out, “but it would take a lot of time to get him booked properly and fill out all the paperwork. Time that we don’t have. Besides that, his lawyer will have a field day with this, and he’ll be back on the street before bed…with possible grounds for a lawsuit. Trust me, cutting him loose now will just be easier on everyone.”
Pooka laughed, and I could tell that all had been forgiven. Between paying for his roof and the free show, he might even think that he owed me one, albeit a very small one.
Brandywine muttered a couple profanities as she released Pooka from the net. He immediately floated backwards, watching her warily.
“If I ever see you again,” Brandywine threatened, “I’m sending you to prison.”
“And if you ever come here again, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing,” he responded. Then he dropped down through the roof, returning to his house. However, I suspected that he’d be selling this house before long and moving somewhere a little more secure. At least he’d do so with a brand-new roof to increase the selling price.
“What are you so grumpy about?” I asked Brandywine, who looked like she couldn’t decide between being angry or pouting. “We got the information we needed.”
Brandywine just glared at me, not saying a word before she turned and flew away. I shrugged and followed after her, guessing that the rest of the road trip was going to be filled with arguing or awkward silence. I could hardly wait.
--------------------
Berlin NH, Tuesday late afternoon, Nov 13th 2007
Roland Williams stared across the cafe table, at the man sitting on the other side. He was gaunt and worn, bearing the hallmarks of a rough life. Even though Roland knew this man to be a decade younger than him, he actually looked ten years older.
“What happened to you?” Roland asked the man formerly known as the Crimson Kid.
“The Imp,” the Crimson Kid said, his voice as rough as his appearance.
“You mentioned something about her in your message,” Roland said, his eyes narrowing as he thought of that villain.
“She destroyed my life,” the Crimson Kid said with flash of hatred in his eyes. “She framed me for several crimes, in both my costumed and civilian identities, and then she gave my identity to some of my enemies. I’ve been in hiding since, always looking over my shoulder in case they find me.”
Roland scowled. “I’m sorry to hear that. When you suddenly disappeared, I feared that she’d left you in some unmarked grave.”
“That would have been kinder,” the Crimson Kid stated.
Roland could only nod agreement. “She destroyed my life too. She humiliated me, cost me my fiancé, and my career as a hero.”
“Then you got off light,” the Crimson Kid told him. “Not all of us were that lucky.”
“She’s an evil monster,” Roland stated with a snarl. “She manipulates everyone, and somehow, she has Elizabeth Carson protecting her.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what that monster has on our headmistress, but I intend to find out. Sooner or later, I’m going to bring her down. I’m going to make her face justice, even if I have to grab her by the tail and drag her to prison myself.”
The Crimson Kid smiled at that, though it was a predatory expression. “She’s hurt a lot of people over the years, and some of us have banded together in order to bring her down. We nearly had her in New York, but she slipped out of our grasp.”
“She’s slippery,” Roland agreed bitterly. “If there’s a way to fight dirty or cheat, she’ll use it.”
“My allies and I tracked her to Whateley,” the Crimson Kid said. “She’s hiding there…behind Whateley security…where we can’t get her.”
Roland ran a hand through his beard. “I doubt you contacted me just to reminisce about old times, or to complain about our mutual problem.”
“No, I didn’t,” the Crimson Kid said. “I want to talk about a solution to that problem.”
Roland scowled at that. Something seemed a bit off with his old ally, and with the whole situation. However, he shrugged it off. Anything related to the Imp was off.
“I’m listening,” he said.
The Crimson Kid smiled again. “We need to know when she leaves that school…when she’s unprotected. All we need is the chance, and I can guarantee that she’ll pay for everything she’s done. We’ll make sure that she can’t ruin anyone else ever again.”
A cold chill ran down Roland’s spine. What his companion said sounded less like they wanted to bring the Imp in, and more like they wanted to kill her. It was one thing to kill a villain in a fight…in the heat of the moment… But to plan it out ahead of time. That might be going too far.
However, when Roland remembered everything the Imp had done to him, and everything she’d taken from him, an old rage bubbled to the surface. He found himself growing several inches taller.
“I’m in,” Roland said.
--------------------
Albany NY, Tuesday evening, Nov 13th 2007
I couldn’t believe that I was stuck sharing a hotel room with Brandywine again. This was the second night that I had her as a roommate, and I was not happy about it.
This whole thing should have been done and over with the other day. I’d been recruited to sneak into Fiddlesticks’ headquarters and get those kids out, and I’d done that. However, every time I thought about poor Jerome, I felt guilty for those thoughts.
I was in my shared hotel room, sitting on a chair with my laptop in my lap and my feet up on the coffee table. Brandywine was on the other side of the room, with a small toolkit beside her as she worked on her weapons. That would have been fine, but she kept glaring at me and muttering something about my being born in a barn.
“Baaaa,” I said with a smirk, earning a glare in response.
Of course, I knew that I could have skipped out on her and made my own arrangements, but that would have been more trouble than it was worth. And besides, I was trying to get along with her…at least a little…for Ryan’s sake.
“Are you EVER serious?” Brandywine demanded.
I just gave my best innocent look. “Am I being baaaad?” She groaned at my sheepish pun, which made me smirk again.
With a shake of my head, I thought about the long drive here and all the time we’d spent together in the car. It would have been a lot quicker to just fly to our destination, but I couldn’t hop on a plane that easily with her along. I’d have to either reveal my invisibility trick, or even worse, reveal my Candice identity. Both options were off the table.
Though Brandyswine hadn’t said anything, I was pretty sure that she knew how much I hated being stuck in a car…any car. It made me feel claustrophobic and trapped, a feeling that was made even worse by the fact that I was sharing space with a hero who could attack me at any moment. She was taking every opportunity to make me miserable, so I saw no reason not to return the favor.
Admittedly, at least part of the drive to Albany had been interesting. We’d driven right through Buffalo, and I’d been so tempted to stop by the Moonrise Gallery…MY gallery…just to take a peak. I didn’t. I kept driving right on through, not even stopping for gas. However, I did keep my eyes open for even a glimpse of Danny Boy, or even the Sphincter. I didn’t see any sign of either.
After a few seconds, I turned my attention back to my laptop and what I’d been working on. I’d received an email from Whateley, reminding me that even though I was on this mission, I still had my normal responsibilities as a teacher. That was actually kind of reassuring.
I focused on my work for a good fifteen minutes after this before Brandywine abruptly asked, “What are you doing? You’ve been so quiet…”
My first imp-ulse was to answer, “Looking at porn,” but she actually seemed sincere. So, in the spirit of playing nice, I gave her an honest answer. “I’m grading papers for my art history class.”
My roommate stared at me with a skeptical look, which didn’t surprise me. However, what did surprise me was that she said, “Focus said something about you being at a school…”
“For my new career,” I explained with a wry smile.
Brandywine gave me an odd look. “You said you’d retired…”
“From my old career,” I pointed out. “I just started a new one.”
“Doing what?” she asked in a suspicious tone.
I gave her a wry look since she should have figured that out from my comments about grading papers. “I’m an art teacher.“
Brandywine snorted, her skepticism more than a little obvious. “Who in the world would hire you as a teacher?”
I rolled my eyes. “Why is that the first thing everyone asks?” Then I grinned as I answered, “That would be Elizabeth Carson…headmistress of Whateley Academy.”
Brandywine’s eyes went wide. “Whateley…?”
“Yep,” I answered with an evil grin. “And yes, Melissa is in one of my classes.”
My roommate nearly choked at that, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. I didn’t hold back the smirk though.
“How do you think Chickenhawk knew where to find me?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “We kind of ran into each other during parents day.”
The look on Brandywine’s face was priceless, especially considering the fact that I’d already revealed that I knew her real name. She’d been worrying about that for half the day, and now this. I was SO tempted to rub salt into the wound. But I was trying to play nice, so I didn’t.
Brandywine looked more than a little shaken, so I cheerfully commented, “Here’s a paper from Doctor Diabolik’s daughter…” Brandywine choked again. “And here’s one from Bruce Goodkind’s kid…”
“Now I know you’re screwing with me,” Brandywine snapped. “I should have known better than to think you might be serious.”
I shrugged at that and turned back to my grading. I still had a couple more papers to go, Once I was done, I’d email my students and let them know their grades.
A short time later, I was just finishing up when Brandywine stood up and commented, “When we checked in, I noticed that this hotel has a nice hot tub…”
“That sounds nice,” I responded.
Brandywine hesitated a moment before asking, “Did you want to come with me?”
I blinked at that. She looked sincere. Was she trying to offer an olive branch?
“I don’t do well in public places,” I admitted before joking, “Everyone always wants my autograph.”
“Somehow, I don’t think that will be a problem,” Brandywine said. “But suit yourself.”
Brandywine left the hotel room, and after a moment of hesitation, I decided to go with. I had a bad feeling about this and knew that it was a bad idea. However, Brandy had made an effort, so I’d try to meet her half way.
I quickly changed into my swimsuit, a black one-piece that looked pretty nice on me. Normally, a swimsuit isn’t something that I’d pack for a mission, but I hadn’t actually packed specifically for this mission. My luggage had already been packed ahead of time, ready for my next trip to visit with Ryan. When I got the call for this mission, I hadn’t bothered to repack. I’d just grabbed my luggage and went.
A few minutes later, I slipped through the hotel, carefully avoiding any other guests. Fortunately, at this time of night, there weren’t a lot of people around. And when I reached the room with the hot tubs, I was relieved to see that Brandywine was the only other person there.
“You came,” Brandywine said, looking a bit surprised.
I slipped into the large hot top on the opposite side of her. The hot water felt great on my muscles, which made this a great way to relax after a long day.
“Who can turn down a hot tub social?” I asked wryly.
We sat there for some time without either of us saying a word. This whole situation was a lot more relaxing than when we were in our room, and I suspected that my companion wanted me relaxed for some reason. But why? I was pretty sure that it wasn’t to attack me.
Finally, Brandywine asked, “How did you know my real name?”
And there it was, the real reason she’d invited me to the hot tub. I smiled faintly at that since I’d been expecting that question along with a few similar ones.
“I’ve been in the business for a long time,” I said contentedly. “My old business that is. I was in that business for about as long as you’ve been alive.”
Brandywine gave me a look of surprise, maybe because I looked about fifteen years younger than I actually was. Maybe she just had a hard time imagining me as having that much experience. There were advantages in having people underestimate me all the time, so I usually tended to encourage that kind of thinking.
“I learned a long time ago,” I continued with a faint smile, “that if you want to survive in the business, you have to do your research. You need to know who you’re likely to face and how to deal with them. Sometimes, during that research, things like real names and identities come up.” Then I sat up straighter and looked Brandywine in the eyes. She was definitely concerned, though she was trying not to show it.
“I see,” Brandywine said with a carefully controlled expression.
“Over the years, I’ve built up a nice collection of real names,” I admitted. “I don’t intentionally go looking for them, but there they are.” I shrugged at that. “I’m a thief, not an extortionist or blackmailer. I doubt you’ll believe me, but I won’t use your name against you or share it with anyone else. That kind of thing crosses a professional line, and in spite of what you may think, I am a professional.”
“You confuse me,” Brandywine admitted.
“Good,” I responded cheerfully. “I try.”
She continued staring at me for several more seconds before saying, “You really do try.”
I just leaned back and stretched my arms out along the side of the pool. I let the tip of my tail float to the surface of the water, then I absently began using it to make tiny splashes. This was definitely nice and relaxing.
“No offense,” I commented, “but I really wish I was here with my boyfriend instead of you.”
Brandywine didn’t say anything to that, but she still seemed skeptical about me having a boyfriend. That just made me chuckle, not to mention, tempted me to tell her who I was dating. However, I kept my mouth shut…for once.
A couple minutes later, there was a sudden scream from the doorway. I looked up and saw a woman standing there, wearing a bathing suit and holding a towel in her hands. The other hotel guest was staring at me with a look of shock and horror.
“A MONSTER!” she yelled, right before turning and running back the way she’d come.
“Well, I knew this was too good to last,” I said with a sigh. “I should have known better than to come here.” I did know better, but that hadn’t stopped me.
“What the…?” Brandywine started.
I climbed out of the water and reached for a towel. “I’d better get going before the MCO or a SWAT team shows up…”
After this, I hurried back to my room, being careful not to be seen. The last thing I wanted was for someone to come pounding on my door, demanding that the ‘mutant freak’ leave the hotel, or worse, have someone kick down the door so they can attack me. I’ve had both things happen before and was not eager to repeat the experience.
Once I was back to the room where it was safe, or at least out of sight, I let out a sigh of relief then quickly dried off the rest of the way and changed back into my shorts and T-shirt. Still, I kept my belt with the tools of my trade close at hand, just in case.
“I should have known better,” I repeated to myself in disgust. Of course that kind of thing was going to happen. I was just grateful that it hadn’t been worse this time. “Maybe I’m getting too used to being able to walk around in the open.”
Then with a sigh, I turned on the TV. I didn’t really feel like watching anything specific, so I played around with the remote, then went to the ‘on demand’ channels. My eyes went to the ‘adult’ section and I found myself grinning evilly as I ordered one of the shows, one with a particularly crude title. I had absolutely no interest in watching BBW Lesbian Orgy, but that wasn’t the point. Imagining the look on Brandywine’s face when she got the hotel bill and saw all the adult movies charged to her, really made me feel better.
Providence RI, Wednesday afternoon, Nov 14th 2007
Rhode Island was a small state, and one that was relatively quiet. It reminded me a little of any small town, where everything was peaceful and boring on the surface, while all the really interesting stuff was kept out of sight and hidden, especially from strangers.
According to Pooka, this was where the Triangle had set up shop, or at least, where one of their main cells resided. Pooka had also told me that this was the group that would have Jerome, and that if I wanted to find the kid, this was where I had to look.
“They have a warehouse,” I said, looking over the building that housed the Triangle. They had even labeled the building with a big blue triangle on the side, just to make sure nobody could miss it. “Why do people always use warehouses? Where is the originality? Where is the creativity?”
“Where is the silence?” Brandywine hissed from beside me.
“Why couldn’t they have gotten a lighthouse?” I asked. “I mean, that would make an awesome secret hideout…”
“And what about your secret lair?” Brandywine asked. “I suppose you probably have some carnival funhouse? Maybe one themed up like a clown version of Dante’s Inferno.”
“Why does everyone always think that?” I asked with a grin. “But no, the Imp Lair has a lot more style than that.”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid to ask.”
We both stared at the warehouse again, which we’d been watching since our arrival ten minutes ago. It looked like an ordinary warehouse, other than the blue triangle on it. Several people had gone in and out, and not a single one of them had been wearing a proper uniform or minion costume. Instead, they all looked…ordinary. Then again, ordinary civilians were some of the meanest, nastiest, and most vicious people out there. I’d seen lots of ‘ordinary civilians’ who could put villains to shame with their bad deeds and cruelty.
“Pitchforks and torches,” I muttered under my breath. “Good memories.”
“We don’t know what they have inside,” Brandywine pointed out. “We need more information.”
I nodded my agreement. I’d already reached out to my contacts as soon as I found out where we needed to go, but all I could get was generic warehouse blueprints. From what I could tell, they did have a security system, but it was isolated, so even a great hacker wouldn’t be able to get in. That meant some old-fashioned breaking and entering, which happened to be my specialty.
“I hate pulling a heist on short notice,” I quietly grumbled to myself. Without time to properly research and plan, this could be risky. Then more loudly, I said, “I’ll scout and see what I can find out…unless you’ve got some X Ray glasses or something?”
Brandywine looked down at her belt full of equipment and shook her head. “Afraid not.”
I looked over the warehouse again, considering my options for entry. I’d already started that the moment I saw the building, but without knowing their security setup, it would be a little more challenging.
Just then, I saw something from the corner of my eye and said, “We have company.”
Brandywine immediately straightened up and began to look around. “Where?”
She’d barely gotten the question out when six people in bright costumes stepped into view. They’d been trying to sneak up and surround us, but decided that this was their cue to appear.
“Stay where you are,” commanded a man in a mostly grey costume.
“We received reports of suspicious people in costumes,” another one said, giving us suspicious looks. “And here you are.”
“Who…?” Brandywine demanded, bracing herself for a fight.
“The local heroes,” I answered wryly. “Meet the STAR League.”
I’d actually met a couple of these heroes before…on parents day. I had a couple of their kids in my classes. And as for their leader in grey, the Falcon, I’d actually had a couple drinks with him and his wife that evening.
Brandywine was momentarily surprised by that, though she quickly covered it up. “Then let me do the talking.”
“Be my guest,” I said, gesturing for her to go ahead.
“I’m Brandywine, of the Shielders,” my partner announced. “My team was investigating some kidnappings, and the trail of one of the victims leads here…”
“If that’s true,” the Falcon said, his eyes locking on me, “then why are you here with a notorious art thief instead of your team?”
“I prefer the term fabulous to notorious,” I pointed out cheerfully. Then I asked, “So, BF, where’s Dinomutt?”
One of the other heroes, Red Archer snickered, though quickly tried to cover it up. Before the Falcon could respond, I suddenly leapt to the side, right before a costumed figure passed through where I’d been standing.
“I’ve got you now, Red Dot,” Tabby Cat announced, looking rather pleased with herself. “And this time, you don’t have any laser pointers or catnip.”
“WHAT?” Brandywine asked in confusion.
“Curses, foiled again,” I commented wryly. “But aren’t you taking that a little personally?”
“You threw catnip mice at me,” Tabby Cat reminded me. “My daughter keeps teasing me about that. I’ll never live it down.” A couple of the other heroes snickered and tried keeping straight faces, without much success. “So, what are you doing here, Imp? Shouldn’t you be teaching a class right now?”
Brandywine gave her a look of surprise, and then me. Apparently that was what it took for her to believe my claims of being a teacher.
“We’re on a mission from God,” I answered in my best Elwood Blues accent.
Tabby Cat gave me an amused look. “Which god? Loki?”
“Astarte,” I answered simply.
Her expression became more serious. “Okay, what’s going on?”
“A guy named Fiddleback kidnapped a group of kids off a school bus,” I explained. I gestured to Brandywine. “The Shielders were trying to rescue the rugrats, but Carson and Chickenhawk both asked me to help them out.”
“You’re not exactly known for rescuing people,” Tabby Cat pointed out with a faintly amused look. “So why you, and why is Carson interested?”
“One of the kids is registered to attend Whateley next semester,” I answered with a shrug. “Hence Carson’s interest. As for me, they had a security issue they needed help with. Carson probably would have asked you, if Chickenhawk hadn’t already contacted her about getting me.”
Tabby Cat nodded at that. “That makes sense. So, Fiddleback is here?”
“No,” Brandywine quickly interjected, obviously trying to get more involved in the conversation. “Fiddleback sold one particular student to the Triangle, and we tracked them here.”
“The Triangle?” Lightwave said. “I’ve heard of them. They’ve been talking about how humans and mutants can live together peacefully.”
I settled my eyes on the dark-skinned woman in the black leotard, snorting. “Yeah, they’re all about humans and mutants living together, just as long as mutants know their place.”
“I never thought I’d say this,” Brandywine stated, “but the Imp is right.”
Lightwave scowled at that as did the other heroes. “So, tell me about the Triangle,” Tabby Cat said.
“They’re a Humanity First offshoot,” I explained. “Their PR is all about how humans and mutants can work things out…at least on the surface. Underneath it, they’ve been…drafting mutants to their side…whether they want to join or not. Jerome, the kid we’re here for, is one of them.”
“From what we’ve heard,” Brandywine continued, “they’ve been growing a lot lately and buying a lot of high tech weapons. Whatever they have planned, I doubt it’s good.
I held up my hands and exclaimed, “Mutant sacrifice. Cats and dogs living together. Mass hysteria…” Tabby Cat smiled.
Falcon looked to Tabby Cat, then announced, “Well then, since they appear to have set up in our back yard, I believe we should deal with them.”
“If you want to fight those guys, that’s perfectly fine with me,” I said cheerfully. “As long as the kid gets rescued, I still get paid.”
Brandywine glared at me, then glanced to Tabby Cat. “How do you two even know each other?”
“She teaches at Whateley too,” I answered with a shrug. Then I turned to the other STAR Leaguers and said, “This isn’t exactly the time or place for any parent teacher conferences, but if you want to talk about how your kids are doing in art once this is over, I’d be happy to fill you in.”
“Thank you,” Magma said. “I might take you up on that.”
Brandywine’s eyes widened again, then she me yet another dirty look. Apparently, she didn’t like that I was on better terms with these heroes than she was. That was definitely pretty ironic.
I just turned to Tabby Cat. “You want to do some scouting with me? This may be the only time we ever get to work together in a real-world scenario.”
Tabby Cat smiled at that. “I think that would be great.”
A minute later, Tabby Cat and I started towards the warehouse, approaching it from opposite sides. Since there were so many heroes around, there was no way I could use my usual trick of turning invisible. We might be working on the same side today, but I wasn’t about to give them all my secrets. After all, there was no telling when I’d need that advantage against them in the future.
“This is not a good situation,” I muttered to myself. I was annoyed by the presence of all the heroes, and the limitations that put on me. However, there were other problems too.
There was no time to really plan. No time to set up a solid exit, much less a backup. This was why I never could have been a hero. Nearly everything they did was reactionary and short notice, which usually meant acting without enough information to be as effective as you could. Sloppy and risky. I much preferred a nice heist where I could plan and set things up for weeks in advance.
“Too late to worry about that now,” I mused. “Now, to get the job done…”
I crept up on the warehouse as carefully as I could without resorting to my powers. There were a few cameras set up, but I saw them in time to avoid them. It didn’t take me long to reach the warehouse, then find a nice blind spot where I could scramble up the wall. A few seconds later, I was on the roof, where there was bound to be less security.
Crouching down, I looked over the roof before making any further moves. There was a large skylight looking down into the warehouse, the perfect spot for someone who wanted to spy on what they were doing. If this had been my hidey hole, I would have gotten rid of that skylight immediately. And if I couldn’t, I would have set it up as a trap to lure in any would be intruders. Maybe a motion detector and some pressure plates nearby. When I looked closer, I saw the motion detector, but no pressure plates. At least they weren’t completely incompetent, though it would have made my job a lot easier if they were.
I hummed the Mission Impossible theme as I moved around the roof, avoiding the cameras and motion detector until I reached a junction box. Then I pulled out one of my handy-dandy disposable devises, about the size of a golf ball, and used it to completely shut off the alarm. These devises were awesome for someone in my line of work, so I made a mental note to give my hook up a bonus the next time I ordered a batch.
With the alarms all down, it didn’t take much longer for me to slip inside the warehouse. I carefully moved along the rafters, now using my chameleon field since the heroes wouldn’t be able to see me vanishing. As I moved, I kept careful watch below me, taking note of everything I saw and heard.
There were about a dozen people wandering around the warehouse. Most of them were men, but there were a couple women. These were obviously Triangle members, because each and every one of them had some kind of pin on their clothes, with the blue triangle logo.
I paused and watched a couple of them interacting, in what seemed to be some kind of initiation ceremony. A middle-aged man was putting one of their pins onto the collar of a much younger man, who looked to be about college aged. Half a dozen other people stood around them, watching in an almost formal manner.
“Remember,” the older man told the younger, “this symbol represents the three pillars of our organization, the three principles that guide us. Always keep this close as a reminder of our purpose.”
I was curious what these three principles were, but they didn’t explain. Seconds later, the small group disbanded, though most of them went over to an area that seemed to be dedicated to training. I watched the training for a few seconds before moving on.
The armory was easy to find because it took up about a third of the warehouse and contained a lot more weaponry than this group could use. This was definitely good evidence for their plans to grow.
In the back corner of the warehouse, I found what I was really looking for. Jerome Hubbard was locked up in a large cage that looked like a jail cell. The very sight of it, and the boy sitting on the bed, stirred a rage deep inside of me.
However, Jerome wasn’t the only mutant that they were holding against their will. Or at least, I assumed that the other two were mutants as well since they were in nearly identical cells.
One was a short and stocky woman, who had to be an inch or two shy of four feet. She was working at a table in her cell, playing with some high tech looking doodad, which made me think she was probably a gadgeteer or devisor.
In the last cage, there was an old man surrounded by nuggets of gold. I’d seen a lot of gold in my career, and from where I was crouched in the rafters, it looked like the real thing.
“Interesting,” I mused, watching him carefully.
The old man held out his hand and a nugget of gold formed in his palm. He dropped it to the ground with an exhausted sigh.
“A manifestor,” I guessed. From that little display, I could tell why the Triangle wanted him.
It was around this point that I noticed Tabby Cat, who was crawling around the rafters as well, though she was halfway across the warehouse from me. I thought about waving to her, though I restrained the impulse. I was currently using my chameleon field and wasn’t stupid enough to drop that or do anything that could draw attention to me at the moment. That would come later.
I turned my attention back to the cages, noticing that four Triangle members were walking towards them. There were three men and a woman, with the person who appeared to be in charge, being the older guy that I’d seen during the pin-on ceremony a short time ago.
“Midas,” the older Triangle member said in greeting to the old man in the cell.
The old man…Midas, turned to look at him. “Yes, Colonel Harper.”
“I see that you’ve created quite a few new ingots,” Harper said in an almost friendly voice. “By now, I think you’ve created enough that we’ll be able to purchase a new power frame. I know that this puts an enormous stress on your body, so thank you. As promised, ten percent of these funds will be given to your grandchildren.”
“Good,” Midas said. “I don’t want to leave them with nothing.”
“They will be well taken care of,” Midas promised him. “Your cooperation ensures that, just as it ensures we have the funds necessary for our work.”
As they stepped away from Midas, Harper turned to his companions. “There is an old saying that with great power comes great responsibility. For too long, mutants have had the power, but denied the responsibility. Many of them have had the power to help humanity in one form or another, but have used this power for selfish purposes instead. Because of this, we sometimes have to remind them of their responsibilities…and even encourage them to fulfill them.”
“Are you sure they’re safe?” the woman asked Harper.
Harper just smiled. “I assure you, Mrs. Purnelle, that these particular mutants are quite safe…and quite beneficial for our goals.” He gestured towards Midas. “Midas has been making a living off his abilities for decades, hiding them behind the façade of being a miner. He’s been clever enough to only create small amounts of gold, not enough to make anyone suspicious of where it comes from. However, he’s always been capable of much more, so we’ve put him to work financing some of our weapons.”
“You’re so generous,” Purnelle said. “I mean, giving his poor grandchildren a percentage…”
“It only seems fair,” Harper told her before turning to the next cell. “Munchkin.”
“I’m almost finished with my devise,” Munchkin announced with an eager smile. “It’s going to be even better than my prototype mutant detector. This should triple the range…”
“Very nice,” Harper said, looking pleased.
Then to my surprise, Munchkin opened her own cell door, revealing that it wasn’t even locked. She held up a metal contraption, about the size and shape of a shoe box, so that Harper could see it. He made no move to touch the devise, but he nodded in approval.
Harper told Purnelle and his other companions, “Munchkin understands her responsibilities, and is working hard to help improve the world. She’s a credit to her people.”
“Thank you,” Munchkin responded, beaming with pride.
“You won’t be here for much longer,” Harper told Munchkin. “We’re building you a lab of your own, where you’ll be able to continue your work with better equipment and conditions.”
“I can’t wait,” Munchkin said with an eager look. “It’s nice that someone finally respects my work.”
I remained frozen where I was, staring down at Munchkin with a feeling of pity. When you were different, people tended to treat you like crap. And when you were in that kind of situation, it was easy to jump at any kindness or acceptance…even when it came from people who only wanted to use you. Even when it came from people who should have been your enemies. I’d seen that kind of thing before.
Harper went to the last cell, to the one containing Jerome. “Jerome,” he said to the teenage boy, who only responded with a glare. Then Harper turned back to his companions. “As I said, some mutants need to be encouraged to do the right thing. This young man has the power to heal most injuries and diseases, but instead of visiting his local hospital, or helping those in need, he spends his free time hidden away in his home, playing video games.”
“Like my son, Ian,” Purnelle said with a clear note of disapproval.
“With our help,” Harper continued, “this young man’s power will be put to much better use.”
Jerome didn’t say anything, though he gave Harper a defiant look and flipped him off. I was starting to like the kid.
“Jerome,” Harper said, “please demonstrate your power on Mister Chapman.” He gestured to one of the men with him.
“Fuck you,” Jerome responded.
“You may want to be more cooperative,” Harper said with a sharp edge of his voice. “And more helpful to those who take care of you.”
Jerome had a look of fear on his face, though he quickly covered it up. I wasn’t sure what Harper had just threatened him with, but it obviously did the trick. Jerome reached out through the bars and took Chapman’s hand. A moment later, the boy’s eyes began to glow for several seconds, and then he released Chapman’s hand and backed up.
“Your heart issue should be gone now,” Harper assured Chapman. “Jerome’s powers are quite strong. But of course, you’ll want to talk to your doctor to make sure.”
“I do feel better,” Chapman said, carefully touching his chest. “No more shortness of breath, and the dull ache is gone…” He sounded in awe.
Harper smiled at that, then fixed Jerome with a cold gaze. “I have more patients for you this afternoon, and you WILL help them without any further problems. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yeah,” Jerome grudgingly responded.
With that, Harper and his people began walking away, though they continued talking amongst themselves. “As you can see,” Harper explained, “we turn mutants from a problem into a useful resource. We ensure that their powers serve humanity instead of threaten it.”
“You’ve made your point quite well,” Purnelle told Harper. “I’ve spent so long being ashamed of Ian…and afraid of what the neighbors would think if they found out about his…condition. I think this might be a better place for him.”
Harper smiled at that. “With our help, he can become a productive member of society.”
Purnelle smiled at that, looking relieved, much to my disgust. Just from the few comments she’d made, she reminded me a little of my own mother…and not in a good way. It was clear that she was looking for a place to dump her son and wash her hands of him, and she thought that she’d found just the spot.
“From what you’ve told me,” Harper continued, “Ian generates a large amount of electricity. We won’t know for certain until we test him, but we should be able to harness this power to enhance the power grid… Think of all that clean energy, without any cost or pollution…”
I glared down at them with a cold fury, and for a moment, I seriously thought of dropping down on their heads and cutting loose. However, I restrained myself and held back. I was here to scout, not to lead the charge. It was with a great deal of effort that I turned and made my way back out of the warehouse.
About ten minutes later, I returned to where Brandywine and the STAR League were waiting, arriving about the same time as Tabby Cat. From the look on my friend’s face, she’d seen the same things I had, and wasn’t any happier about it.
“I just confirmed everything they said about the Triangle,” Tabby Cat told her team with a look of barely restrained fury in her eyes. “There are approximately two dozen people in the building, with three of them being imprisoned mutants.”
“They also have four power frames and enough guns to give any redneck a hard-on,” I added.
Tabby Cat nodded agreement. “Their stockpile suggests they have larger plans than this.”
Falcon scowled deeply and demanded, “How the hell did they set this up in our backyard, without us even knowing about it?”
“They’ve been careful not to make any real trouble,” Lightwave pointed out.
“Yeah,” Linebacker agreed. “Unlike Humanity First, they haven’t been pulling any protests or threatening violence against mutants.”
“No,” Brandywine said with an angry expression of her own. “They’ve just been doing it all behind closed doors.”
“Then whatsay you all go knock on the door,” I suggested with a mock cheerfulness that I didn’t feel, “while I sit back and watch with a bowl of popcorn?”
Brandywine gave me a look of disgust while Tabby Cat gave me a more skeptical look. “Are you sure you don’t want to come play?” Tabby Cat asked me. “It might be fun.”
“Well, since you pulled my tail,” I said.
“DON’T pull her tail,” Brandywine quickly warned them, much to my amusement. It seemed that she really had learned from Fuzzy Wuzzy’s mistake.
“You all do whatever it is that heroes do,” I said, giving a dismissive gesture. “I’ll slip in the back door and open the cages.”
After this, I let the heroes continue with their plans while I returned to the warehouse and slipped back inside. I found Jerome, Munchkin, and Midas almost exactly where I’d left them. Munchkin’s cell door was still open, though she made absolutely no move to leave. Instead, she seemed focused on her work station and the devise she was building.
Back in Fiddleback’s headquarters, I’d been able to free his prisoners and get them to another room before the heroes ever made their move. However, this time was different. The warehouse was too open, which meant that the cells were in easy view and there wasn’t really any place to move them. Because of that, I had to wait and use the heroes as a distraction.
I waited where I was until I heard the signal, a loud ‘BOOM’ from the front of the warehouse. Heroes never seemed to know how to make a quiet entrance. I dropped my chameleon field and dropped off the rafters. I used my PK aura to absorb most of the impact as I landed, and then I rolled in order to mitigate the rest.
As soon as I was done, I popped right back to my feet, gave a sweeping bow to the cages, and announced, “TA DAAA”.
“What the hell?” Jerome demanded, jumping to his feet and staring at me with a look of shock and confusion.
“The fabulous Imp, at your service,” I said with a grin. “Now, let’s get you out of there so you can get your tail out of here…”
“Who are you?” Jerome demanded, giving me a worried look. “What do you want?”
I just stared back at the boy. He had dark skin with his black hair tied back in thin corn rows. His irises were a glowing golden color, and I saw glowing veins beneath his skin, enough to give him an odd look and really make him stand out. I wondered if he was an energizer as well as a healer, but this wasn’t the time to ask.
“Duh,” I responded with a roll of my eyes. “I just told you. I’m the beautiful, talented, and fabulous Imp. And if you make me tell you again, I’ll add even more descriptions.” I flashed him a grin, then reached out and sliced the cell lock open with my PK claws. “Come on kid, you’re being rescued. You all are…”
Munchkin stared up at me, then began screaming, “HELP! INTRUDER!”
“Shut up!” Jerome snapped at her.
I shook my head in disgust. “You’re welcome to stay if you want, short stuff, but we’re going.” I looked at Midas. “You want to run away and join the circus too?”
“What?” Midas asked, looking confused.
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Do you want to come or not?” Before he could answer, I sliced through the lock on his cage, giving him the choice of whether to come or not. “Heroes are on their way in, so we’d better be on our way out so as not to get caught in the crossfire.”
“Are you a hero?” Jerome asked, giving me a suspicious look.
I gasped in offense. “Absolutely not. Hero is a four letter word… However, I am a thief, and I’ve been hired to steal you away from the Triangle…by the good guys.”
Unfortunately, Munchkin was still screaming, and someone actually heard her over the heroes breaking down the door. Several men ran towards us and began shooting, spraying bullets everywhere. I threw myself on Jerome and knocked him to the ground. There was a shriek of pain from Munchkin’s cell, and one glance was enough to let me see that she’d taken
a couple shots in the torso. Unless she was a regen or something, odds were that she was already dead. Though how they could hit the midget while completely missing three larger targets, I had no idea.
“Don’t worry,” I assured Jerome and Midas, who’d ducked for cover on his own. “They’re Stormtroopers because they obviously can’t hit what they aim for…”
This was definitely NOT my thing. I wasn’t built for fights like this, or for getting other people to safety. However, I couldn’t ditch Jerome and Midas now.
“They’re gonna shoot our asses,” Jerome exclaimed in a panic.
“Naw,” I responded in a cheerful tone. “We’re not wearing red shirts…” I paused to glance down at myself. My uniform did include a nice bit of red in it. Oh well. “We’ll be fine… Hell, I could go over there and give them wedgies, and they wouldn’t be able to hit me…”
“You’re crazy…” Jerome exclaimed.
I just grinned, and in my best ‘redneck’ accent, said, “Hold my chardonnay and watch this.”
I leapt to my feet and threw a couple of throwing spikes at the gunmen, hitting one on the shoulder and grazing the other in the thigh. Both screamed in pain and were distracted enough for what came next. I focused my PK aura in front of me as much as I could and charged forward.
One of the gunmen got his act together enough to shoot, but he hit the small PK shield I’d put up in front of me and adjusted to make sure that was what he’d hit. One shot hit it and bounced off, and then I was on them.
“SUPER WEDGIE!” I yelled out, knocking their guns aside and then slipping around behind one of them. He yelped out as I gave the atomic wedgie, and a moment later, I leapt at the other one and gave him the same treatment. “Next time, you losers get the swirlie treatment.”
“That was fucking awesome,” Jerome exclaimed, staring at me with something that might even be respect. “Seriously screwed up, but awesome…”
“Insane,” Midas grumbled, giving me a worried look. “I think she’s a lunatic.”
“Only on days that end in a Y,” I said cheerfully. That didn’t make him look any happier.
The sound of gunfire and explosions came from the main entrance of the warehouse, so my two rescue pets looked in that direction with fear in their eyes. Jerome asked, “Is there a back door?”
“Sure,” I responded with a grin. “It’s in the back.”
I’d found the back door during my scouting, but they’d put a plate of steel over the thing and bolted it into place. A pretty decent way of sealing it off, but it left the Triangle with only one way in or out of this place, which meant that they’d trapped themselves and actually had to beat the heroes in order to escape.
“Good luck with that,” I muttered. Then I turned my attention to the back door. “Okay, this is going to take a bit of work.”
Instead of trying to cut through both the door and steel plate, I went to the wall a short distance away and formed one of my PK claws. This was much easier to slice through, and in just a minute, I’d created an opening big enough for Jerome and Midas to get through.
I got the two of them away from the warehouse and behind some cover, then told them, “You two wait here.” Then I ran back into the warehouse, mostly because I wanted to watch the show.
Brandywine and the STAR League were still fighting the Triangle, though the good guys were clearly winning. In spite of their arsenal, most of the Triangle members weren’t trying to fight. They were trying to escape past the heroes. However, not all of the Triangle was simply trying to escape. Four members were piloting their power frames.
Two of the power frames were Knight of Purity models, which looked a bit off, and not just in the paint colors. It looked like at some point, they’d probably been severely damaged and had then been put back together again in someone’s garage. They were salvaged units. One of the power frames looked like an older and bulker version of Mauler, and had probably been created by the same guy, Major Upgrade. The last power frame was smaller and sleeker than the others, as well as being of a design I didn’t recognize.
“Now, all I need is some popcorn,” I mused. “Go heroes…”
Then I let out a sigh of disgust, wondering when I’d started cheering for the heroes. That was NOT a habit I wanted to get into, even if I was dating one. If word got out that I’d ever said that, even a whisper, I’d never hear the end of it.
My eyes went to Brandywine, who was floating in the air, fighting the faux Mauler with her telekinesis. The armor was too heavy for her to just pick it up and throw it across the warehouse, but she was pushing it back, knocking it down, and throwing random crap at it. From where I stood, it looked like she was slowly wearing it down.
The STAR League were dealing with the three remaining power frames as well as the individual gunmen. Tabby Cat ran from one gunman to another, disarming them…though not literally. However, she did leave them all a bit bruised, scratched, and no longer a threat. As I watched, she pounced on one as if he was big mouse.
“I need some catnip,” I said with a giggle. “Or maybe a stick with some feathers on it.”
Tabby Cat must have heard me, because she looked in my direction with a wry expression. I just shrugged and blew her a raspberry.
For a brief moment, I thought about jumping into the action, but that quickly passed. This wasn’t my kind of fight, and there was no reason for me to get involved any more than I already was. Sure, I REALLY didn’t like the Triangle, but I had my own ways of dealing with guys like them, and this wasn’t it.
Then I noticed one of the Triangle gunmen taking aim at Brandywine, with what looked like some kind of energy rifle. And since he was behind her, she wasn’t even going to see it coming.
“HEY, JERKY,” I yelled out, getting the man’s attention, right as I threw one of my spikes at him. I’d thrown it with a little extra oomph, courtesy of my abilities, and hit the side of his weapon. The whole thing exploded in a burst of sparks while he yelled in pain.
Brandywine snapped around to see what was causing the noise, and her eyes went wide as she saw her would be attacker. A moment later, she gestured at him, and he was sent flying back a good twenty yard. Then she glanced to me with a strange expression, gave a nod of acknowledgement, and turned her attention back to the faux Mauler.
After this, the fight ended pretty quickly. The STAR League were just finishing off the last of their three power frames and were turning their attention to the rest of the loose guards. Brandywine had the faux Mauler on the rope when Linebacker charged and started tearing the power frame to pieces. Seconds later, he began tearing the pilot out of the wreckage.
“I bet it’s Red Herring,” I exclaimed, pointing at the faux Mauler suit.
“What are you talking about?” Brandywine demanded.
Linebacker tore open the rest of the armor and pulled out the pilot, a very angry and terrified looking Harper. “Jinkies,” I gasped in mock surprise. “It was old man Harper the entire time…” I waited for someone to make a line about meddling kids, but nobody did, much to my disappointment. With a sigh of exasperation and a sad shake of my head, I muttered, “No respect for the classics.”
Tabby Cat came over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, and then for my benefit, she called out, “Okay gang, let’s head back to the Mystery Machine.” Brandywine looked at her as if she was crazy while I just grinned in contentment.
--------------------
Providence RI, Wednesday late afternoon, Nov 14th 2007
It was done. I’d finished my mission. Jerome Hubbard had been rescued, and the Triangle…or at least this cell of the Triangle, was kaput. Now, all that was left was to collect my pay and get back to school. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be quite that quick or easy.
Before the fight had even ended, the cops had begun to arrive, followed a short time later by some feds. The heroes all stuck around to deal with that, including Brandywine, and I didn’t want to just leave her behind. So, while the heroes took care of the arrests and cleanup, I slipped out of sight and waited until things had cooled down a bit.
I watched from hiding as the Triangle members were hauled out in handcuffs. There were a couple guys from the ATF, who seemed especially interested in their stockpile of weapons. However, I noticed that one of the cops had a Triangle pin on his lapel, which he quickly removed once he arrived on scene, so it looked like they had a friend on the inside. That wasn’t my business though.
Jerome and Midas talked with the cops, and the feds, and finally the STAR League, before they were taken away. It was after this, and after the heroes moved away from the warehouse, that I finally came out of hiding.
“Jerome and Midas have to make their official statements,” Tabby Cat told me. “But we have some people I trust watching over them both. I can guarantee that they’ll be on the plane home by tomorrow morning.”
“Good,” I said, relieved that they were going to be all right
I felt a little bad about Munchkin, but it was her own friends in the Triangle who’d killed her, so I didn’t let myself feel too bad. After all, if she’d gone along with the escape instead of ratting us out, she’d still be alive and even free.
“I should be back at Whateley tomorrow too,” I said. “This was a fun break, but It’ll be nice to get back to my classes.”
Tabby Cat nodded in understanding. “I know what you mean. I’ll be back there in a couple days myself.” Then she gave me an amused look as she added, “I have to design a new sim for a couple of my students.”
“Me too,” I said with a grin. “I think it’s time my apprentice gets a little heist experience. You wanna help me design it?’
“I’d love to,” Tabby Cat responded with a smile of her own.
Brandywine came over to where we were talking and asked, “What are you two so excited about?”
Tabby Cat chuckled. “We were just talking about designing a training sim for Imp’s apprentice.”
“YOU have an apprentice?” Brandywine gasped, giving me a look that seemed equal parts surprise and concern.
“Of course,” I responded cheerfully. “Doesn’t everyone?”
“She’s a real character too,” Tabby Cat said with a chuckle. “Mischief is almost as crazy as Imp is.”
“MISCHIEF?” Brandywine nearly screamed. Her eyes bulged out so far that for a moment, I thought they were going to pop right out of her head, just like in a cartoon. That would have been interesting to see.
Tabby Cat gave her a curious look. “From your reaction, I assume you know her…”
“Mischief is her niece,” I explained, getting a look of surprise from the hero.
“What the hell are you doing with Melissa?” Brandywine demanded angrily.
“Teaching her,” I answered seriously. “Lock picking, pick pocketing, escape, and evasion. Basically, the same things she’s already learning in her survival class, just in a little more detail.”
Brandywine glared at me, and for a moment, I thought she was going to attack. “What gives you the right…?”
“I’m a teacher,” I told her evenly. “So, I’m teaching her what I know. And yes, Ryan knows about it.”
Brandywine froze as I used her brother’s real name. “What…?”
“I told you,” I said, “I know a lot of real names. And in this case, he even gave his blessing, because I’m teaching Melissa how to survive, so that something like what happened with Jack Ass and Pair of Dimes doesn’t happen to her again. She’s got a knack for getting in trouble, so I’m giving her the tools to get herself out of it.”
Tabby Cat had watched this exchange without saying anything until now. “I’ve seen Imp working with her, and can assure you that your niece is in good hands.” She paused at that, then added, “And if you are concerned, you should talk to Melissa’s father. I can confirm that he knows about this.”
Brandywine stared at me before growing, “You can be sure I’m having a talk with my brother.”
“Good,” I said cheerfully. “Family should talk with each other.”
“Things are never boring around you,” Tabby Cat told me in an amused tone. Then she looked over to her husband, who was talking with the rest of her team. “Next time you come visit, we’ll have to invite you over for dinner.”
Brandywine’s eyes went wide at that, since she obviously had a hard time believing that I was on such good terms with a hero that I’d be invited to dinner. I grinned at that, wondering if I should mention how many meals the two of us had already shared.
“I’d like that,” I said. “Though I’m not sure your husband or friends would approve.”
“They can deal with it,” Tabby Cat told me with a smirk.
After this, Tabby Cat went over to join her husband and friends, leaving me with Brandywine, who still wasn’t happy about the latest revelation. I just chuckled, thinking that if she was this shaken about finding out that Melissa was my apprentice, how bad would it be if she found out about me and Ryan?
“You saved my life,” Brandywine abruptly said. “My armor wouldn’t have protected me from that shot.”
I shrugged at that. “We were partners for this mission, and partners watch each other’s backs.” Then I grinned and added, “And Melissa never would have forgiven me if I’d let you get shot.”
“There is that,” Brandywine responded with a faint smile of her own. “But thank you.”
Brandywine turned and walked away, and I was about to follow. However, I paused for a moment first to adjust my backpack, which was riding a little uncomfortably thanks to the gold ingots I’d ‘found.’
“I saved a kid,” I mused to myself, “earned some brownie points with the boss, and even made a nice little profit. Not a bad ending for the mission.”
--------------------
Shielders Headquarters NJ, Thursday late morning, Nov 15th 2007
It was strange to walk through the front doors of the Shielders’ headquarters, while fully visible and in the open. I’d done this once before, after returning from the raid in Fiddleback’s headquarters, but for some reason, this time I was a little more aware of it.
Brandywine and I had finished up in Rhode Island last night, and had spent one more night as roomies before returning to New Jersey. I was just thankful that the STAR League had provided the transportation this time, so I didn’t have spent countless more hours being trapped in a car with Brandywine.
“It’s good to be home,” my companion announced.
“There’s no place like home,” I agreed, thinking of my nice comfy Imp lair in Manhattan, as well as my newer home at Whateley.
When we stepped into the war room, I saw that Chickenhawk was already there, along with the three remaining Shielders. I gave Chickenhawk a nod of acknowledgement, though I rather would have given him a kiss. However, I didn’t think that would go over too well with this crowd.
“So, were there any problems with your rescue?” Brandywine asked the rest of her team.
“Not too many,” the Emerald Avenger answered. “We tracked down the mad scientist…Doctor Malevolence…and got the other kids away from him before he could pull any of his experiments.”
“Where do these lunatics even come from?” Brandywine grumbled.
“The tech track at Whateley,” I answered cheerfully, even though they hadn’t asked me. Of course, I had absolutely no idea if Doctor Malevolence was a Whateley alumni or not, but I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised.
With my comment, Brandywine fixed her brother with a flat look that promised they were going to have a little talk. Obviously, my comment about Whateley had reminded her about Melissa, and how I’d been teaching her. Now this was a conversation I wouldn’t mind listening in on…from a safe and well-hidden spot in the corner.
“Doctor Malevolence tried escaping,” Miss Magic said with an amused smile, “but Polarstorm froze him in his tracks.”
Fuzzy Wuzzy puffed up a little at that, until he saw me. “Why the hell did you bring HER back here?”
“For debriefing on the mission,” Brandywine answered him. “And besides, she insisted on coming back to collect her paycheck.” She gave me a disapproving look, still ignoring the fact that she and her team were being paid as well.
“We should stuff her in the same hole as Malevolence,” Fuzzy Wuzzy snarled, glaring at me.
I gave a look of mock hurt. “And to think, I brought you a piece offering…”
“What?” Fuzzy Wuzzy demanded with a confused expression that only grew more suspicious when I held out a shoe box. He came over and snatched the box out of my hand, then cautiously opened it, as if afraid a snake would jump out. A moment later, he pulled out the contents, a shaggy brown toupee. “What the hell is this?”
“A PIECE offering,” I responded with a grin, putting the emphasis on ‘piece’. And then, in case he hadn’t caught it, I added, “A hair piece offering…”
Chickenhawk and Miss Magic both struggled to keep from laughing while Fuzzy Wuzzy threw the toupee and box onto the ground, then glared at me even more intensely. He took a couple threatening steps towards me, though I remained where I was, silently daring him to attack.
“Polarstorm,” Brandywine exclaimed. “While I fully understand your grudge against her, this is not the time or place.”
At the same time, Chickenhawk told me, “Please stop taunting him.”
“He started it,” I responded at the same time Fuzzy Wuzzy exclaimed, “She started it.” Both of us just glared at each other.
After this, everyone sat down around their table, myself included, and we began going over everything that had happened lately. It was pretty boring, not to mention unnecessary since everyone already knew what was going on, courtesy of either being there or having already been updated during our email exchanges.
Finally, Miss Magic began to summarize. “Fiddleback has been taken into custody and ten of the hostages were recovered from him. We followed several leads to Doctor Malevolence and took him into custody as well, recovering six of the remaining hostages.”
At this point, Brandywine took over and gave her own summary of our little mission, which was double redundant because we’d already talked about this a few minutes ago in more detail. “The Imp and I followed the trail to Rhode Island, where we found the final hostage in the hands of the Triangle. With the help of the STAR League, we freed the last of the kids who’d been kidnapped, along with one more prisoner.”
“You’re just lucky she didn’t stab you in the back,” Fuzzy Wuzzy snarled, still glaring at me.
Chickenhawk scowled, not looking happy. He was about to say something when Brandywine responded, “Actually, she kept someone else from shooting me in the back. The Imp saved my life.”
I got a couple looks of surprise from that, including from Fuzzy Wuzzy, so I just shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Unless anyone else has something to add,” Miss Magic said, “it looks like we can declare this mission complete.”
I started to raise my hand, grinning as I did so. However, Brandywine glared at me and snapped, “Don’t.”
“Party pooper,” I teased. Chickenhawk tried to hide a snicker. “That reminds me,” I told him with an anticipatory grin. “I believe that I’ve fulfilled the terms of our deal.”
“Of course,” Chickenhawk said. All the Shielders were watching us closely now. “As you told me previously, the rules of your profession won’t let you help heroes unless you’re personally involved or being paid.”
“Correct,” I agreed. “I might be retired, but I do still have a reputation to maintain.”
Chickenhawk and I got out of our chairs and stepped off to the side a little where we could talk face to face. “You did a great job, but I knew you would which is why I asked for your help. Nobody is as good at sneaking past security as you are.”
“It’s nice to be appreciated,” I responded, buffing my nails on my shirt.
“Nobody is as big a pain in the ass is she is,” Fuzzy Wuzzy growled.
“There is that too,” Chickenhawk agreed with a chuckle. I stuck my tongue out at him. “So, I’ve decided to give you a bonus. I’m giving you double what we agreed on.”
“WHAT?” Brandywine exclaimed from the table. She definitely looked offended now, which only made me grin wider.
“So,” I asked eagerly. “I get two scoops of ice-cream in my sundae?”
“Along with extra nuts and a cherry,” Chickenhawk agreed.
“How about three?” I pushed.
Chickenhawk snorted. “Don’t push your luck.”
“Fine,” I grumbled with a mock pout. “But next time, I’m holding out for a banana split.”
With that, Chickenhawk and I turned and started to leave so we could take care of my payment. The looks on the Shielders’ faces…especially Brandywine’s…almost would have been payment enough. Almost.
Whateley, Friday morning, Nov 16th 2007
“I have returned,” I loudly announced to my first period class. “All hail the conquering teacher…”
“Were you gone?” Monkeywrench asked with a smirk. “I hadn’t noticed.
“But what if I don’t want hail?” Melissa asked with a look of mock innocence. “What if I wanted snow instead? Or sun?”
I looked at the little smartass as she sat in her seat, feeling rather proud of her. “You’ll get hail and like it,” I responded.
“Where were you?” Monkeywrench asked me curiously.
“Emergency parent teacher conferences,” I answered in a cheerful tone. Then I looked back to Melissa and said, “Oh, your aunt said to tell you hi.”
“What?” Melissa asked in surprise.
“And the next time you see her,” I continued with an evil grin, “make sure you tease her about her snoring.” Melissa giggled at that.
“Now then,” I said, looking around the classroom. “Today, we’re going to do something a little different.” I went to my desk and picked up the plate full of brownies that was sitting there. “Today, you’ll be able to earn brownie points by participating in the class discussion.” Now I really had everyone’s attention.
With that, I got the ball rolling and started on the topic of different types of art, and what kind they were most drawn too. Asking kids to give their opinions was a quick way to get them engaged, but to have them explain WHY they held those opinions, made them think about it a little more.
“Well,” I told one girl. “Interior design isn’t really my thing, but I can see definitely see the art in making a creative and visually appealing space.” I handed her a brownie, then turned to the next student with a raised hand. “Go ahead…”
“I really like customizing cars,” he said with a grin. “I mean, put in some chrome wheels, a sweet paint job, and some awesome seats…”
“That sounds like an expensive art form,” I told him once he was finished going on about custom cars. “And while we won’t be covering customized cars in this class, you might learn something to help design some good paintjobs.” I handed him a brownie.
“Best teacher EVER,” he announced to the boy beside him. A couple of the other kids nodded emphatic agreement, especially those who were still eating their brownies.
My first period class passed pretty quickly and was over before I’d even realized it. Fortunately, I still had a lot of brownies. I’d bought quite a few extras, just so I could continue the whole ‘brownie point’ game with another class or two, not to mention, have a few for myself.
When class was over, all the kids rushed out the door. I glanced at my cell phone and saw that I had a message from Ryan, so I stepped outside and found a little privacy so I could listen to it.
“I thought you’d want to know,” Ryan’s voice said, “Jerome Hubbard is back home with his family. The rest of the kids have been returned home as well, but I know you have a special interest in Jerome.
I nodded at that, even though Ryan would never be able to see it. Carson had already filled me in on Jerome’s status, but I appreciated the update anyway.
Ryan said a few other things too, mostly related to being chewed out by his sister, who wasn’t happy to learn about my relationship with Melissa. I chuckled at that. Brandywine was a bit high strung, so I could just imagine how that conversation had gone.
Once I was done with the message, I returned to the classroom, which was now filled with students from my second period painting class. I looked around at the happy and smiling faces…or tired, grumpy, and bored faces, which was a little more accurate. As I’d learned, and could definitely appreciate myself, most teenagers were only half alive at this time of the morning.
Then I noticed that the tray of brownies I’d left on my desk, was now completely empty. I raised an eyebrow at that and then looked around the room again to see if I could figure out the guilty party. No one was currently eating, had chocolate smeared over their faces, or was visibly smirking.
“So,” I asked cheerfully. “Who ate all my SPECIAL brownies?” Nobody answered. “I made them with a special ingredient too…” Again, no response, though most of the kids were looking at me with interest.
I reached into my large desk drawer and pulled out a Costco sized bottle of laxative, and set it down on the desk, right next to the empty tray. I grinned evilly. Several of my students suddenly looked worried and began to squirm in their seats, telling me exactly what I wanted to know.
“There aren’t going to be any excused bathroom breaks from my class today,” I said in a cheerful tone, watching those worried looks suddenly grow worse.
Of course, I hadn’t actually put any laxative in the brownies. Heck, I wasn’t even the one who’d made them…though the kids didn’t know that. I wasn’t going to call out the thieves, or actually even punish them beyond this prank since I could understand wanting to seize an opportunity when it presented itself. However, I still had to teach them not to steal from ME, and spending a whole period squirming in their seats, wondering when their bowels would give out, would do that just wonderfully.
“Today’s class is going to be so much fun,” I mused with an evil grin.
--------------------
Whateley, Friday late afternoon, Nov 16th 2007
Classes were done for the day. At least, all the normal ones were. I was in my special classroom, teaching one final class for the day, though I only had a single student.
“Good,” I told Aegis, who was covered with a glowing aura, and who had a look of concentration on his face.
I was working with Aegis on his PK shell and helping him learn to reshape it. So far, he couldn’t reshape it much, but you didn’t need to do much for it to be useful. Last week, he’d learned how to form a PK blade from his hands, though he hadn’t been able to hold it for more than a couple seconds. Clearly, he’d been practicing since then, since he could hold his PK blade for more than three times as long as he had during our last lesson.
“You’re getting the hang of it,” I said while nodding in approval.
To say that Aegis was stubborn, would be an understatement. He was without a doubt, my most stubborn student. In fact, this was not only the tendency that constantly got him into trouble, but also the one that eventually lead to him ending up in my wise and capable care.
“You’ve been practicing on your own,” I commented.
“Yeah,” Aegis admitted, looking a little self-conscious. “I’m gonna get this. I can do better…” He had a look of fierce determination as he formed his PK blades again, trying to see how long he could hold them.
I smiled at that. The kid really didn’t know when to give up, and for once, that was to his benefit. If he could put the same determination into training that he did into fighting people outside his weight class, then he’d progress nicely. The challenging part was keeping this determination focused on what would actually help him.
“You know,” I teased Aegis a little, “you might make a decent villain yet.”
“What?” Aegis gasped with look of revulsion. He lost his concentration and his shell snapped back to normal.
“Come to the dark side,” I joked in my best Yoda voice. “Have cookies, we do.”
“I’m NOT going to be a villain he protested
“And I don’t want you to be,” I assured him with a smirk. “But I do want you to keep your focus when someone tries to distract you.”
Aegis looked chagrinned at that, realizing what I was trying to do. I normally loved to distract heroes since that kind of thing gave me the advantage when dealing with them. In fact, that was sort of my specialty. However, if I was going to train someone to become a hero, I was going to make sure that they didn’t have that weakness. Sure, that would make it more difficult for me to deal with Aegis in the future, but my pride as a teacher demanded that I train him right.
“I think we’re about done for the day,” I told Aegis.
Aegis nodded at that, then cautiously asked, “When are you going to teach me how to do some other things?”
I considered that for a moment, or at least, how to answer him. “We’ll keep working on this for a little longer. Once you’re able to reshape and hold your shell a little better, we’ll move on to something else. Honestly, what we’re really working on here is your fine control. The more control you have over your shell, the easier it will be to learn those other tricks.”
My student gave a reluctant nod, clearly disappointed that he wouldn’t be learning any new tricks just yet. “Okay.”
“But if you keep improving the way you have been,” I assured him, “then it won’t be long before you’re ready to move on to something else.”
That seemed to brighten Aegis’ mood. After this, I shooed him out of my classroom and then locked up. A few minutes later, I was on my way back to the Village so I could get some dinner.
As I arrived at the Brown Moose, I saw a familiar but very unwelcome sight. Barney was already there, coming out of the café just as I was about to enter. The sour look he gave me was almost enough to sour milk.
“I thought we’d finally gotten rid of you,” Barney spat out.
“Nope,” I responded with a fake smile, just because I knew it annoyed him. “I’m like a boomerang fish. Throw me away and I come right back.”
“You don’t belong here,” Barney snarled, “and you aren’t welcome.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I feel pretty welcome from everyone who actually matters.”
That seemed to piss Barney off even more. “I don’t know what you have on Carson…”
That just made me roll my eyes, because I was tired of this particular accusation. “You know, Barney,” I said with a sneer of my own. “You aren’t good enough. You aren’t smart enough. And gosh darn it, nobody likes you.”
Barney suddenly grew at least a foot in height, which told me just how close he was to the edge. It might be fun to push him over the edge, but I wasn’t really in the mood at the moment. Besides, I’d promised Carson that I’d try getting along with him, so for once, I did the mature thing. I blew him a raspberry, then walked around him and into the Brown Moose. Barney was still stewing behind me, about ready to blow. Who knew that being mature and just walking away could be so satisfying.
A short time later, I was sitting at my favorite dinner table with my dinner in front of me. Pork chops with an apricot glaze, brussel sprouts with bacon, and some buttery mashed potatoes. Yum.
I was just finishing up my dinner when I received an unexpected visitor. Amelia Hartford slipped into the chair across from me, which was a bit of a surprise since she didn’t usually hang around the Brown Moose without good reason. That meant, she was there specifically to talk with me.
“You should try the pork chops,” I told her pleasantly. “They’re really good.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Hartford said.
“So, what brings you here?” I asked curiously.
“The Triangle,” she answered simply.
I raised an eyebrow. “For some reason, I don’t think that you’re talking about the musical instrument.”
“The Triangle has proven to be a potential threat to our students,” Harford explained, her expression deadly serious. “I’ve already reviewed what you told Liz, but I wanted to speak with you directly about your experiences with them. The more I have to start with, the easier it will be to investigate this group.”
I considered this for a moment before nodding my agreement. “Sure. What do you want to know?”
I didn’t really know much more about the Triangle than Hartford already did, but we still spent the next twenty-minutes talking about them and everything I’d seen. I helped fill in a few details that was missing, but that was about it.
“Thank you,” Hartford told me when we were done. “That will help.”
“Good,” I told her with a scowl. “Because if you can do anything to screw those guys over, I’m happy to help.”
Hartford smiled faintly, though it was an almost predatory smile. I almost felt sorry for the Triangle. Almost.
As we left the Brown Moose together, Hartford asked, “How are the art show plans going?”
Just like that, we’d shifted from business to friendly small-talk. “Pretty good,” I told her with a smile. “The show is in a couple weeks, but plans are coming along nicely. In fact, I’m heading into Boston tomorrow afternoon to check out the Goresky Gallery ahead of time.”
“I do look forward to seeing it,” Hartford told me with a faint smile. Then she turned back to business again. “Thank you for that information on the Triangle. I will be certain to put it to good use.”
With that, Hartford took her leave and wandered off, while I started back to my own residence. However, when I arrived a couple minutes later, I was a little surprised to see a visitor suddenly appear beside my door.
“Melissa,” I started with a smile, wondering what she was doing here in the Village. Then I noticed her expression and tear-filled eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Rapier,” she cried out, her eyes welling up with more tears as she began sobbing loudly. “He doesn’t like me…”
“What?” I asked, remembering that she a crush on that boy. “What happened?”
“Rapier likes Erin…Cauldron,” Melissa sobbed with all the angst and drama that a teenage girl could provide. “I saw them kissing…”
My heart suddenly ached for Melissa. Her first crush had just become her first heartbreak. I didn’t have a lot of experience with romance and relationships, but I knew heartbreak, and I knew it well.
“I’m sorry,” I said gently, grabbing Melissa in a firm hug and holding her tight. “Everything is going to be all right…”
Melissa just held me and cried into my shoulder, while it was all I could do to keep from crying as well. This was one part of growing up that I really wished she could have avoided.
--------------------
The Village, Friday late afternoon, Nov 16th 2007
Roland Williams clenched his fists in rage, wanting to hit something as hard as he could. It took every ounce of willpower to keep from growing to his full size, and as it was, he’d still grown nearly a foot taller.
“I knew it,” he snarled. “I knew that villain freak was up to something.”
Ever since the Imp had arrived on campus, he’d been warning people about her. He told Carson and everyone else, time and time again, that the Imp was a villain, and that she was NOT there to teach. However, nobody had listened.
A short time ago, he’d been standing near the Brown Moose, waiting for the Imp to emerge so he could confront her again. He was going to make that freak understand that she didn’t belong at a respectable school like Whateley, and that he at least, was not fooled by her in the least.
But when the Imp had finally emerged, it had been in the presence of Amelia Hartford, the Assistant Headmistress. Roland had overheard them talking, and what he’d heard had confirmed his every suspicion.
The Imp was planning some kind of heist on an art gallery, and tomorrow, she was going to go there to case the place out. Of course, the fact that the Imp was planning a robbery wasn’t a surprise. Not in the least. What surprised Roland was that Hartford was in on it.
“I’ve always known she was shady,” Roland announced with a deep scowl. Whatever was going on at this school, Hartford was definitely a part of it. “She may even have been the one to bring the Imp here…”
Roland didn’t know what to do about Hartford. He certainly couldn’t accuse her of anything without proof. She was too highly positioned…and protected. However, he could do something about the Imp.
After a moment of consideration, Roland pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number that he’d recently stored in memory. “Hello, it’s me. The Imp is going to be in Boston tomorrow…”
--------------------
Boston MA, Saturday afternoon Nov 17th 2007
I was in a good mood as I walked down the Boston sidewalk. Soon, I’d be at the Goresky Gallery, a small gallery that would soon be hosting some of my paintings. This was a nice step in my career, because it meant that Candice Kade was getting more attention and respect as an artist. And after spending so many years as an art thief and forger, being known as a legitimate artist myself, even under THAT name, was a dream come true.
However, my good mood faded a little as my thoughts turned to Melissa. I’d spent nearly two hours with her last night, comforting her after her broken heart. By the time she left, she’d appeared to have been in a much better mood, and when I’d briefly seen her this morning, she seemed fine. But I knew better than most that it wasn’t easy to simply shake off a broken heart, so I worried about her.
Just then, someone bumped into me, shaking me out of my thoughts. I immediately checked my pockets to make sure that my phone and wallet were still there, then I looked at the man who’d bumped into me. He was average looking and had a chagrinned expression that seemed just a little fake. He’d bumped into me intentionally.
“Excuse me,” he said with a slightly smarmy smile. “That was entirely my fault…”
“Accidents happen,” I responded, watching him carefully.
Who was this guy and what was he up to? If he’d been trying to pick my pocket, he would have simply grabbed my stuff and hurried away as quickly as he could, but he hadn’t. However, I had no doubt that he was up to something.
“Maybe I can make it up to you with a cup of coffee,” he offered.
I blinked at that, suddenly realizing that he was flirting with me. I wasn’t really used to that kind of attention, other than from Ryan. At the moment, I was in my ‘Candice’ disguise, and I was pretty sure this guy wouldn’t be able to handle the real me. In fact, if he saw the real me, he’d probably run off screaming. With my devilish good looks, I was just too much woman for most men to handle.
“Sorry,” I responded with a forced smile, “but I’m busy right now…”
However, he wasn’t ready to give up yet and pressed, “Then how about a phone number so I can call you.”
“Sure,” I responded with a smirk. “Eight six seven five three oh nine. Ask for Jenny.”
He quickly began to write down the number, but before he had a chance to consider what I gave him, I slipped away and continued towards the gallery. Still, in spite of how annoying that had been, I was smiling anyway. After all, it wasn’t every day that some guy hit on me…without actually trying to hit me that is.
I reached the gallery a minute later, but as I did so, I paused. Something was…off. The hairs on the back of my neck felt like they were standing up. I might not be an esper, but after so long in the business, I’d learned to listen to my instincts, and right now, they were screaming at me.
A moment later, I began to look over my surroundings again, even more carefully than I had the first time. However, I tried to appear casual and relaxed as I did so, acting as though I wasn’t paying any real attention. After a few seconds, I spotted them.
There were two people standing off to the side, looking like a couple of normal tourists. However, now that I was focused on them, I recognized the woman as Mistress Hex…AKA Hexagoner 2.0, dressed in civies rather than her normal costume. And the skinny guy right beside her… Crash Test Dummy.
“The IRS,” I muttered in surprise.
I quickly looked around but saw no sign of the other members. What were they doing HERE? How could they possibly know where to look for me?
“She’s here,” Hexagoner exclaimed. She held up a metal disk about four inches across. No, not a disk. A hexagon. “The Imp is somewhere close by…”
“Where, exactly?” Crash Test Dummy asked as he looked around. I was bent over tying my shoe, so he looked right past me.
“My enchantment isn’t that precise,” Hexagoner admitted. “If I had some of her blood to work with, it would be much stronger…”
Crash Test Dummy snorted. “And if you would have mentioned that before, you could have had a whole tail of hers to work with.”
“I’m getting a better lock on her,” Hexagoner said, turning in my direction. I slipped back around the corner of the building before she got a good look. “Once my enchantment finishes synching to her, I’ll be able to track her up to fifty miles…”
I hissed in annoyance. This was NOT good news. Even if I slipped away unseen, as long as Hexagoner 2.0 had that thing, she’d still be able to find me. I couldn’t let that happen.
Hexagoner and Crash Test Dummy were walking in my direction, so I quickly hurried down the sidewalk and disappeared down an alley. Then, once I was out of sight, I looked down at myself. If those knuckleheads could track me down, then I had to ditch the disguise. As Candice, I might be able to slip into the crowd, but I’d also be endangering that identity, especially if they kept coming after me. That meant, I needed to take steps to protect my secret.
With that, I opened up the bag I’d brought with me. It contained my working outfit…the catsuit from my previous career. After what had happened with Adamant and Lumpy the last time I’d been in Boston, I thought it would be a good idea to bring my gear with me this time…just in case. I’ve just proven once again, that I was a wise Imp.
I dropped the illusion and quickly changed clothes. I’d barely done that and had just hidden the bag that now contained my previous clothes, when Hexagoner and Crash Test Dummy stepped into the alley.
“The Imp,” Crash Test Dummy exclaimed.
My eyes swept the alley, and I smiled when I saw a stray cat suddenly run away from the noise. I wasn’t familiar with all the escape routes in this area, which was one of the reasons I’d come here today…to scout them out. I needed a moment to think, and that meant, I needed a distraction to buy myself that time.
“I’m the tip, I’m the top, I’m the cream of the crop,” I began singing while my enemies just stood there with their open in surprise and confusion. “I’m the most tip top, top Imp.”
With that, I threw a smoke bomb at the ground, but instead of pulling my usual vanishing trick, I scrambled up the side of the wall. This would have been SO much easier if Hexagoner didn’t have that magical tracking doodad since she would have been able to tell if I was still there in hiding.
“GET HER!” Crash Test Dummy yelled, pointing up at me.
Crash Test Dummy shimmered, and he was suddenly wearing his usual armor. Right beside him, Hexagoner 2.0 had similarly changed into her own costume. That meant the game was on.
I reached the top of the building and was about to begin the daring part of my escape, which included leaping from one rooftop to another until I was out of range. However, something golden shot towards me from above and I just barely dove to the side in time to avoid it.
“Blondie,” I exclaimed. “I was wondering when you’d show yourself.”
Carolynn Northrop, who called herself Heaven, was a gorgeous blonde exemplar, and at the moment, she was wearing her white and gold costume. A pair of feathery wings sprouted from her back, though they appeared to be made of golden light rather than anything solid.
“Hey, Blondie,” I asked with a broad grin. “Would you be interested in buying a stolen painting?”
Blondie glared at me with a look of rage, then formed a sword made out of the same golden energy as her wings. She dove right at me, though I moved to the side so that she sliced into the roof instead. She was good and angry, which meant that she was off balance and not thinking clearly…just the way I liked my enemies.
When Blondie first came at me back in New York, I’d been a little confused because I’d had absolutely no idea of who she was or what she had against me. But thanks to Hartford, I now knew that Blondie was just an obsessive nutjob who blamed me for her father being arrested and ruined. Sure, he’d been a former client who’d hired me to steal a painting for him. However, it wasn’t my fault he’d been stupid enough to show it off to people he shouldn’t have. I mean, who in their right mind brags about owning a stolen painting?
“You’re going to pay for what you did to my father,” Blondie screamed.
“Is twenty bucks enough?” I asked cheerfully. “I’m kind of low on cash.”
She howled in anger and came at me again, slashing her sword wildly. I dodged back and out of the way, and when her blade did come too close, I focused all the energy in my PK aura into one spot, creating a small shield to protect me from the hit. That near hit only seemed to enrage her further.
“You know,” I continued taunting her. “Your dad was a total cheapskate. He tried playing it off like he was Richie Rich, but he was more like Wimpy.” Then in a deeper voice, I exclaimed, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a stolen artwork today.”
I’d never actually met Blondie’s dad. In fact, I hadn’t even known his name until Hartford filled me in on things. I’d accepted the job and payment through a professional middle-man, which was a fairly standard practice in my old line of work. But of course, she didn’t know that. And now that I knew which buttons to push, it was easy to get her riled up and off balance.
Blondie was really pissed off now, and kept charging at me, slashing away with her glowing sword. I kept leaping, dodging, and doing everything I could to stay out of her reach, though I did have to use my focused PK shields a couple times when she got a little too close.
“DIE!” Blondie demanded before launching another attack. When I avoided that one too, she snarled, “What are you?”
“I yam what I yam, and that’s all that I yam,” I responded before blowing her a raspberry.
At this point, the rest of the IRS appeared, apparently having finally found a way to get to the rooftop. Crash Test Dummy was holding an energy sword of his own, one of Tek Knight’s weapons. Hexagoner 2.0 held out a magic staff and fired a blast of energy out of it, nearly hitting Blondie, who’d recklessly charged at me at the last second.
“There she is,” Jack Ass exclaimed from the other side of the roof. Technically, he was calling himself Jackalope now, but he’d always be Jack Ass to me.
Jack Ass held out his hand, which was covered with a large green metal gauntlet, and fired a concussion blast at me. I dove to the side, laughing when he hit Blondie. If she hadn’t thrown her glowing wings up and used them as shields, she would have been splattered across the rooftop.
“I’m Popeye the sailor Imp,” I began singing. “I’m Popeye the sailor Imp. I’m strong to the finich because I eats me spinach, I’m Popeye the sailor Imp.”
“Kill that bitch,” the Crimson Kid announced. He stood there with his hands glowing red, and I knew better than to let him get those things near me. However, he seemed to have different ideas and charged straight at me.
“Hey, don’t touch me,” I exclaimed. “Hands off, Bluto. You’ve got cootie hands…”
All of the IRS was here now, gathered together on this roof. In spite of my joking around, I knew that this was serious business. Individually, these guys were maroons. Unfortunately, when they were all combined, they were also dangerous. The first time I’d faced the Imp Revenge Squad, they’d nearly killed me. I’d managed to escape…barely…and definitely not unscathed. The only reason that I’d beaten them the second time was that I’d gone into the fight prepared…and with a lot of help. Unfortunately, this time it was just me, and I was outnumbered.
In spite of the dire situation, I grinned. I had absolutely no chance of beating all five of these guys in a fight, so it was a good thing that I had absolutely no intention of fighting them. Instead, I’d delayed long enough to get them all in one place, which mean that I knew exactly where each and every one of them was now located. I no longer had to worry about one of them popping out of nowhere and ambushing me.
I suddenly threw several smoke bombs at the ground, creating a small cloud of smoke to obscure me. Then I immediately followed that up by throwing several throwing spikes, hitting Blondie in the arm with one and grazing Jack Ass with a second. However, before my spikes had even hit, I was in motion, running towards the edge of the building, and going almost straight towards Hexagoner, who was in my way.
“Out of my way, Sea Hag,” I yelled at her, right before lashing out with my PK claws and slicing right through her staff.
Hexagoner let out a yelp of surprise and jumped back while I took advantage of the opportunity to leap off the roof. I used a little extra oomph from my PK aura, and managed to reach the next roof over, in spite of a good twenty feet between the buildings. Sure, Blondie could fly over, but the others were all going to have a very difficult time of following me.
“Neener neener neener,” I exclaimed, blowing a raspberry back behind me before racing over the second roof as fast as my legs could carry me.
It was only after I’d passed three more buildings that I decided that it was time to take my leave of these losers. I glanced up at Blondie, who was flying above me and about to dive down. With a grin, I threw down a smoke bomb and pulled my usual vanishing act. Since Hexagoner was the one with that tracking spell and Blondie couldn’t see me, I was in the perfect position to slip away. And I did.
--------------------
The Village, Saturday afternoon Nov 17th 2007
Roland Williams sat at a small table in the back of the Flying Blue Squirrel, staring down at his beer with a deep scowl. Normally, this was a little early for drinking, but today wasn’t a normal day. Today was the day that SHE finally got what she deserved. That was an event well worth celebrating.
In spite of all that, Roland didn’t really feel like celebrating. He should be there, playing a direct part in bring down the Imp, rather than sitting back and waiting for the Crimson Kid and his friends to do it. Roland didn’t even know who those friends were much less if they were up to the job. How could he trust them with something this important?
“She’s a slippery bitch,” Roland muttered to himself before taking a long drink from his beer. “If they blow this and let her get away…” He could see that happening, far too easily. He knew better than most heroes, just how sneaky that freak could be.
However, another concern tickled the back of Roland’s mind, though he did his best to ignore it. It was one thing to kill a villain in battle, when passions were burning and your own life was in danger. It was another thing entirely to go after one with the sole purpose of killing them. This was a dangerous line to cross, even when it came to stopping someone like the Imp.
“She deserves it,” Roland insisted, trying to shut out that whispering voice.
He took another drink form his beer, finishing off the glass. Then he just stared at the empty glass for several long seconds, debating over whether or not he should order another. At the same time, another debate took place in the back of his mind.
“There’s no way I’m going to let her get away this time,” Roland finally told himself. “Especially not when we can catch her red-handed.”
Roland picked up his cell phone and hesitated. He didn’t know if he could trust the Crimson Kid his friends to do the job, or to not cross a line that he himself wasn’t fully comfortable with. However, there was another option, one that might increase the odds of stopping that villain while silencing that nagging voice in the back of his head at the same time.
After dialing the number, Roland said, “Hello, this is T Rex. I thought you should know that a dangerous villain is running around Boston today, and I know where you can find her.”
--------------------
Boston MA, Saturday afternoon Nov 17th 2007
I made it a couple blocks before the IRS caught up with me. I’d thought that I’d lost them for good, but it seemed that Hexagoner’s tracking spell really had increased in range.
“Get her,” Blondie yelled from above.
“I’ve got you now,” Jack Ass added a moment later, right before firing a concussion blast at me from his gauntlet.
“You missed me, you missed me,” I called back as I dove to the side. “Now you’ve got to kiss…my ass.”
Once again, I was frustrated by the simple fact that I couldn’t just turn invisible and vanish. Sure, that trick would work with most of them, but not as long as Hexagoner was there to sniff me out.
Hexagoner leapt out from in front of me and fired a blast of flames from her hands. I dropped flat to the ground and let the flames pass right above me. As soon as they were gone, I leapt back to my feet, exclaiming, “My britches are burning. My britches are burning.” It wasn’t often that I got a chance to do a Yosemite Sam.
“Does this freak EVER shut up?” Hexagoner demanded.
“No,” Crash Test Dummy answered, right before firing at me with an energy rifle.
I ran, leaping behind a car and using it for cover. However, before I could get to the next car, Blondie dropped out of the sky, nearly on top of me. Her glowing sword passed through the spot I’d just been occupying.
“You know, this is starting to get old,” I told her. “By the way, how’s your dad doing?”
Blondie snarled and began to frantically slash in my direction. I made sure to move to the side, avoiding her attacks, but also keeping her between me and Crash Test Dummy. She was being my cover without even realizing it.
The Crimson Kid came charging at me from the side, obviously intending to hit me from behind while Blondie kept me occupied. It might have worked too…if I’d been blind and stupid.
I leapt on top of the car and threw a spike at Crash Test Dummy, hitting him in the chest before he could fire another shot. He yelped and dropped his weapon, though I didn’t know if that was because I’d gotten through his armor or just surprised him. Either way, I hauled tail as fast as I could.
“Wow, you guys are bad at this,” I exclaimed. “Five against one and you still can’t get me.”
Jack Ass came charging at me again, holding out his armored hand and firing several blasts at me. I ran and dove for cover, cursing the fact that I didn’t have a normal PK shell. At the moment, having a solid PK shell would have been totally awesome.
Hexagoner 2.0 stood off to the side, holding her hands out and muttering some kind of mumbo jumbo that made no sense. However, I’d worked with and against enough magic users to know that this was probably bad news for me. So instead of waiting around for her big surprise, I kept running.
I saw Blondie diving down at me from the sky so changed directions and ran into the entrance of a large store. If nothing else, Blondie wouldn’t have the room to fly very well in there, which would take away their aerial advantage.
“Come back here,” the Crimson Kid demanded.
This time, I didn’t bother with a clever comeback. Sometimes, those were just wasted on people.
I ran into the tools department, hoping that I could find a machete or something to use as a weapon. Then I saw a chainsaw set out for display and grinned evilly.
As I snatched up the chainsaw, I announced, “Shop smart. Shop S Mart.”
Jack Ass and the Crimson Kid came running towards me, so I yanked on the cord, trying to start the thing. Unfortunately, nothing happened at all. In desperation, I began making chainsaw noises and waving it in front of me, hoping I might bluff those idiots.
“What the hell?” the Crimson Kid exclaimed, coming to a stop and staring at me in disbelief.
I just glared at him, dropped the chainsaw, and announced, “You wouldn’t laugh if I had my boomstick.”
Before they could react, I threw a couple spikes, hitting the Crimson Kid in the shoulder and getting a yelp of pain in response. However, the second spike missed Jack Ass entirely. I turned and ran deeper into the store.
The IRS followed me, or at least they tried to. I blended into the background as I tended to do, remaining hidden from their sight while I tried to figure out my next move.
“Where is she?” Blondie demanded.
“She’s close,” Hexagoner answered, holding up that metal hexagon. “She’s in this direction…”
“Half the store is in that direction,” Jack Ass exclaimed.
When they split up and began looking for me, I saw my opportunity. I quietly grabbed a guitar that was on display, then leapt out and swung it at Jack Ass, hitting him alongside the head.
“Your stolen garden glove is no match for my kabonger,” I announced as I cheerfully proceeded to keep hitting him until my guitar broke.
Crash Test Dummy and Blondie came running at the noise, and immediately attacked. Crash Test Dummy fired his energy rifle, while I ran down the next aisle and out of sight. Blondie leapt up on top of the shelves with a glowing sword in hand, then dove down at me.
I leapt to the side, barely avoiding her blade as it came down and cut through part of the shelving and all the clutter on it. Scrambling backward, I looked for a way out. Not just from this aisle, but from this whole situation.
Crimson Kid started racing down the aisle towards me, his entire body covered with that burning red aura. When he leapt at me, I dodged to the side and gave him a good shove to keep his momentum going, and to help direct him so that he flew right into Blondie, sending both of them sprawling along the ground.
I quickly raced out of the aisle and back into one of the main store paths where the rest of the IRS now had a clear view of me. Jack Ass was back on his feet but looking pretty unsteady. I’d beaten him pretty good with my kabonger, but obviously not good enough.
Crash Test Dummy tried shooting me with his energy blaster, but nothing came out but a few sparks. I snickered at that.
“What’s the problem?” I asked. “Can’t perform? I hear a lot of guys have that problem…”
The armored villain dropped the now useless weapon and drew the devisor hilt that formed an energy blade from it. He advanced towards me, though he’d learned to be a little more cautious.
“You cut off my hand,” Crash Test Dummy announced. “You cut off my foot…”
“And now I’m cutting off your diatribe,” I said with a smirk.
“We’re going to kill you, you freak,” Crash Test Dummy exclaimed. “You’re going to pay for everything you’ve done to me…”
“You keep ambushing me, so I keep cutting off parts,” I teased, leaping to the side from his attack. “And as long as you keep attacking, I keep cutting…”
He swung his blade at me again. It would do a lot of damage if he happened to connect, as I’d already learned from my severed tail not that long ago, but I was a lot faster than he was, and a lot smarter.
I glared at my opponent, still pissed at him for what he’d done to my tail. That had hurt a LOT. Sure, I’d taken his foot as recompense, but I wouldn’t mind hurting him a little more, especially since he hadn’t learned his lesson.
“Say ni,” I exclaimed, suddenly reminded of the black knight who kept losing his limbs, but still refused to give up. “Come on, say it.”
Crash Test Dummy came swinging at me, but it was at the same time that Hexagoner was casting one of her spells. Without her staff, she seemed to be a lot weaker than she had been, or at least, a lot less capable of throwing off energy blasts.
I waited until she finished her spell, then dove out of the way, right before a glowing hexagon appeared on the ground beneath me, catching Crash Test Dummy inside. He tried walking out but was stuck inside a magical cage, and began howling in frustration, much to my amusement.
“You idiot,” Hexagoner yelled at him. “You walked right into that…”
“You’re the one who can’t aim her damn spells,” Crash Test Dummy yelled back.
“You know,” I told Crash Test Dummy, “the next time, I think I’ll take an eye. You’d better get a parrot and practice saying ARRRRR.”
A moment later, I threw a spike at Hexagoner, hitting her in the thigh. She screamed and dropped to the ground, which was just what I needed. With that, I rushed forward and snatched the metal hexagon right out of her hand. Without this, they wouldn’t be able to follow me.
“So long, suckers,” I exclaimed. “I mean, exit, stage left even…”
But before I could throw down my smoke bomb and pull my vanishing act, I was hit with a concussion blast from Jack Ass that sent me tumbling backwards. I was going to have some bruises from that, but I’ve had much worse.
The IRS was gathering together again and they were all focused on me. Crash Test Dummy was momentarily out of action, still being stuck in Hexagoner’s magic cage, while Hexagoner herself was screaming in pain. However, the bruised Jack Ass, the Crimson Kid, and Blondie were all coming at me.
I clutched my stolen hexagon tightly and ran, straight into the kitchen equipment. I frantically looked around for something I could throw at them, or at least, something that would be useful. There were some kitchen knives, but those were all wrapped up in plastic packaging. Besides, my own PK blades were MUCH better than any kitchen knife could ever be. Well, maybe not when buttering my bread. The last time I tried doing that with my PK claws, or even the blade of my tail, it had been pretty messy.
Then I saw some cast iron skillets and grinned. I grabbed one of those and flung it right at the Crimson Kid, though it bounced off his energy shell. I threw a second one at Jack Ass, hitting him in the chest and knocking him back from the impact.
When Blondie started approaching with her energy sword, I considered tossing another skillet at her. However, I had another use for these skillets, and one that I needed to take advantage of now.
I dropped one of the skillets onto the floor, then dropped Hexagoner’s metal hexagon right into it. I knew iron tended to really mess up a lot of different magics, so putting the thing into a cast iron pan couldn’t hurt. There were a few sparks from the metal hexagon, which I took to be good for me.
“But not good enough,” I muttered, forming a PK blade around the flat of my tail, then slicing down with that and cutting the hexagon in two. There were more sparks, then the thing actually began melting right inside the pan. “That should work.”
“We’ve got you now,” Blondie snarled with a furious expression. She glared at me as though I’d kicked her puppy, insulted her artwork, and made fun of her hair style. “You’re finally going to die…”
“You don’t know how many times I’ve heard that,” I responded in a cheerful tone. “Oh wow, your hair style is hideous…and so is your art. In fact, I think I’m going to go to your house and kick your puppy…”
Blondie leapt at me. I just grabbed another skillet off the shelf and smacked her in the face with it as I dodged. Her nose crunched from the impact and blood began to flow. It was too bad that she was an exemplar, because a bent and crooked nose would really have added some character to her stereotypical blonde bimbo looks.
While Blondie was distracted, I took advantage of the opportunity to lick my finger and stick it in her ear. “Wet Willie.” Then I ran as fast as I could.
The IRS was following too close behind for me to pull my disappearing trick quite yet. Besides, now that I was able to actually make it work and escape, I wanted to go out with style.
When I reached the grocery department, which was actually pretty small compared to a real grocery store, I grinned. I ran down the canned foods aisle and giggled to myself.
“I’ve had all I can stands and I can’t stands no more,” I announced, coming to a stop and pulling a couple cans of spinach from the shelf.
“Does that freak really think that spinach is going to give her super strength?” Crimson Kid exclaimed.
“Who knows what she thinks,” Jack Ass said from beside him. “Just don’t underestimate her.”
Blondie landed on the other side of the aisle, leaving me caught between her and the two bozos. And then, just to prove that I was in even more trouble, Crash Test Dummy showed up, holding Hexagoner, who was leaning against him for support.
I just held the spinach and grinned. A moment later, I focused the energy from my PK aura into my hand and transferred it into one of the cans, an instant before I threw it. I gave the can enough extra oomph that when I hit Crash Test Dummy in his face, his whole visor shattered and he was thrown back.
“Batters up,” I announced, throwing the second can in the same fashion, this time hitting Jack Ass in the guts. He let out a loud ‘ooomph’ as he doubled over and dropped to the ground.
“I’m strong to the finich cuz I throws me spinach,” I sang loudly, “I’m Popeye the sailor Imp.”
Then as the rest of the IRS came at me again, I threw my spikes, hitting Blondie in the shoulder and the Crimson Kid in the chest, though his energy shield seemed to protect him from any real damage. However, I wasn’t really trying to hurt him this time, just distract him.
With an evil grin, I announced, “Touche away,” and threw a smoke bomb at the ground. As soon as I was obscured from site, I pulled my vanishing trick.
“DAMN!” the Crimson Kid exclaimed. “She did it again…”
“Where is she?” Blondie demanded of Hexagoner.
Hexagoner shook her head, looking pissed as well. “I don’t know. She destroyed my spell so I can’t track her anymore.”
I remained where I was, completely motionless and hidden by my chameleon field. The IRS spent a minute arguing about Hexagoner’s spell and how they could track me, then they split up to search the rest of the store.
Once they were all gone, I snickered, “What a bunch of maroons.”
Now that I was relatively safe, I let out a long sigh of relief. I was pretty bruised from all that bouncing around and getting hit, and I even had a couple small cuts from when Blondie had gotten a little closer than I’d realized. Thankfully, my regen would take care of that in no time.
I slipped out of the store, avoiding the IRS, who was still making a mess while searching for me. All the customers and employees and already fled almost as soon as we’d arrived, but the cops had already arrived and had gathered outside.
“It looks like I’ll have to avoid all of them too,” I muttered in annoyance. That meant this was going to take even more time.
Using my chameleon field, I made it past the cops and to the next building over, where I climbed the side to get onto the roof. Once I was there, I let out another sigh of relief and turned off my chameleon field. Now, I that I’d avoided the IRS and the cops, I was free to move at a regular speed until I could get back to the gallery and where I’d left my civilian clothes.
“Then Candice can finish what she came for,” I muttered.
I leapt from rooftop to rooftop and was about three buildings away when a loud voice suddenly yelled out, “Halt, villain!”
“Really?” I asked with a sigh.
I turned to look up at Lamplighter, who was floating up in the air a short distance behind me. How he’d managed to sneak up on me like that, I had no idea. Nor did I know how I’d missed the other hero floating in the air beside him. Skyhawk.
“Lumpy,” I called out with a cheerful grin. “How are you doing? I haven’t seen you since last week.”
“T Rex was right,” Lumpy told Skyhawk, looking smug about it. “The villainess did return to Boston…though she wasn’t at that gallery where he said she’d be…”
My eyes narrowed at those words. “So, T Rex told you I was in town?”
“Indeed,” Lumpy responded. “T Rex knew that a villain like you needed to be stopped, and that we were just the ones to do it.”
“I see,” I commented, though inside I was furious. Barney had tipped them off, though how Barney knew about my plans for the day, I didn’t know. In a quiet voice, I hissed, “Strike three.”
“Surrender now and come peacefully,” Skyhawk announced.
I pretended to consider it for a moment before responding, “Naw, I don’t think so.”
And with that, I leapt off the edge of the building, using my PK aura to soften the blow when I landed on the ground. The heroes immediately came flying down at me, but I wasn’t too concerned.
“You won’t get away this time,” Lumpy announced, forming a giant hand out of golden energy and trying to grab me with it.
“Aren’t you getting a little grabby for a second date?” I asked, leaping out of the way. “Who do you think you are, Squiddly Diddly?”
Skyhawk swooped down at me, but again, I leapt out of the way. “You won’t escape us,” he stated, as though this was a simple fact. “I’ve heard about your nefarious deeds, and I’m going to make sure you face justice for your crimes.”
Oh God, he was one of THOSE heroes. I wanted to vomit from his self-righteousness.
“Sorry, my dance card is all full,” I said. “I’ll just have to fit you in another time…”
Lumpy launched another attack at me, exclaiming, “You’ll never escape me…”
“Look you pervert,” I called back. “Stalking a girl is illegal, and just plain creepy…”
Lumpy came at me again, but I dodged to the side, positioning myself so that Skyhawk was between us. When Lumpy launched his attack, Skyhawk was the one who took the hit.
It was at this point that I saw a third hero arriving to join the fight. Dynaman, a power armored hero who might be a problem, assuming he had some kind of thermal sensors in his armor. That could render my vanishing trick useless.
“I just hope Speed Queen doesn’t show up too,” I muttered to myself. Speedsters could be a real pain in the tail to deal with.
Now I had three heroes chasing after me, and I wasn’t sure my vanishing trick would work on one of them. Not without a bit more effort on my part. That meant I had to get creative. A moment later, an idea came to me and an evil grin formed.
“Bwa ha ha ha,” I burst out with my best evil villain laugh. “My master plan is almost completed, and you fools will never be able to stop me in time…”
“Get her,” Skyhawk ordered. “We have to stop her before she can pull off whatever she has planned…”
I started running down the sidewalk while all three heroes gave chase. I knocked people out of the way, leapt on top of parked cars, and did everything I could to avoid getting hit by my pursuers.
A couple minutes later, I was back at the store I’d just escaped from. Cops were still gathered in front of the place, but now the IRS had excited the building and were in the process of leaving. Blondie was staring to glow, and I was pretty sure that she was about to teleport them all way, the same way she had the last time we’d fought.
“Hey, guys,” I called out to get their attention. “Here I am…”
Blondie immediately stopped what she was doing and turned to stare at me in surprise. “Imp…”
Then with an evil grin, I exclaimed, “Get them, my evil minions…”
“What’s she…?” Hexagoner started to ask.
However, before Hexagoner 2.0 could finish, a giant glowing hand grabbed hold of her, while another one grabbed for Crash Test Dummy. Skyhawk and Dynaman immediately joined in on the attack.
“Stop the Imp’s minions,” Lumpy ordered as he continued his attack on the IRS.
While the two groups fought, I used the distraction of the chaos to pull my disappearing trick and slipped away. Once I was far enough away, I found myself a comfortable position on top of a nearby roof to watch the fight.
“I love it when a plan comes together,” I said with a grin.
A moment later, there was a flash of blue and white as Speed Queen appeared on the scene to join in on the fight. I chuckled at that, glad that I got out of there when I did. Then I let out a sigh. The only thing missing was a nice bowl of popcorn.
The Village, Sunday morning Nov 18th 2007
I crouched down on the rooftop, staring down at my target below. My eyes narrowed as I watched him walk across the Village, completely oblivious to what awaited.
“Strike three,” I said, not taking my eyes off Barney. “You’re out.”
If Barney thought it was bad the last time I’d seriously shown my displeasure, he was sorely mistaken. Since he hadn’t learned his lesson, it seemed that I was going to have to kick things up a notch or three.
A moment later, someone suddenly appeared beside me, or at least, he only appeared to be behind me. “Louis,” I said, not bothering to look at him. I was keeping my eyes locked on my target.
“What are you up to?” Louis Geintz asked.
Since I was already on the edge of a rooftop, doing the whole dark and brooding thing, I stood up and in a gruff voice, announced, “I am Bat Imp.”
Louis gave me a skeptical look. “Come on, Christine. What are you up to?” He looked over the edge of the roof and down at Barney. “I see that you and Roland are at it again.”
“We had a truce,” I grimly stated. “In spite of everything, I agreed to a ceasefire…and he broke it. Twice. Yesterday, he sent some heroes after me…”
Louis’ eyes widened and he gave me a look of surprise. “I have a hard time believing Roland would…
“Lumpy…Lamplighter told me that Barney called him and told him where to find me.” I glared down at Barney, snarling, “Of course you know, this means war…”
“Christine,” Louis stared, giving me a worried look.
However, my attention was locked on Barney, and I considered what I was going to do with him this time. An anvil…dropped right on his head. An anvil was a total classic. Maybe a huge one…one or two tons. Of course, I’d have to get a devisor to make me an anti-gravity devise or something, just so I could move it.
“That’s…disturbing,” Louis said, obviously having read my mind. “Amusing…but wrong in so many ways.”
“You’re right,” I responded with a scowl. “Barney is pretty strong when he grows, so I’ll need something a lot bigger than that…”
“Please don’t do anything rash,” Louis pleaded. “I know that Roland may have crossed a line, but…”
“Three strikes,” I said in a cold tone. “He had three strikes, so he’s out of chances…”
“Christine,” Louis said with an exasperated sigh. “For once, please restrain yourself.”
A moment later, Louis vanished. I just shook my head and mused, “I wonder where I can find a ten-ton anvil…”
I looked back down at Barney again, only to see that he was now staring back up at me. Apparently, Louis and I had been a little too loud during our conversation and Barney had heard us. Ooops. There goes the element of surprise.
“Imp,” Barney said with a snarl, the hatred clear in his eyes.
“What’s the matter, Barney?” I called down. “Didn’t think I’d get away from your little trap?”
With that, I jumped off the roof, using my PK aura to absorb most of the impact as I landed, though I rolled with it to mitigate the rest of the hit. When I came back to my feet, I glared at Barney, who was glaring back.
Barney snarled, “I knew I couldn’t count on the Crimson Kid and his friends…”
My eyes went wide at that and I felt a surge of anger. So THAT was how the IRS had known to wait for me at the gallery. Barney had told them, just like he’d told Lumpy.
“So, you send all those other people after me, because you don’t have the balls to come at me yourself,” I said with a sneer. “At least this time, it’s not a bunch of kids…”
Barney suddenly began to grow, one foot and then two. “I’ve had all I can stand of you, villain. It’s time I finally dealt with you myself…”
“Bring it on, Barney,” I said. “You can kiss your purple ass goodbye…”
With an angry yell, Barney grew another two feet and swung a fist at me. I leapt back, easily avoiding his attack. However, he was still growing. It looked like this was going to be just like old times.
“ENOUGH!” a voice exclaimed from above.
I looked up and saw Carson floating in the air, wearing her casual weekend clothes and looking pissed. She lowered herself to the ground and Louis appeared beside her. One guess as to who told her about this.
“You’re both teachers now,” Carson announced in an angry tone. “ACT LIKE IT!”
“She’s no teacher,” Barney argued. “She’s a villain, and I caught her red-handed, planning to rob an art gallery…”
I didn’t bother to deny this accusation, because to explain why I was really there, I would have had to reveal my identity as Candice, and there was no way I’d do that to him. That arrogant prick would only try to ruin that for me, just like he was trying to ruin this Whateley gig.
“I said enough,” Carson said, leveling a flat gaze at Barney. Then she glared at me. “I know you two have history, but I expect you both to behave professionally.”
“You don’t know what she’s done,” Barney stated. “Someone has to bring her to justice…”
“You wouldn’t know justice if it bit you on your purple arse,” I responded with a dismissive snort.
Carson glared at both of us, and for a moment, I was sure she was going to fire me…and perhaps even Barney as well. If I lost this gig because of him, then he could rest assured that he would definitely pay for that. He’d already cost me far too much already.
“Might I make a suggestion,” Louis offered.
All three of us turned to look at him. “Go ahead,” Carson said.
“Roland and the Imp have a number of issues to work out,” Louis said. “Perhaps they could resolve their disagreements the way many of our students do...in the sims.”
“The sims,” Carson mused with a thoughtful expression. Then she smiled faintly. “Yes, I think a ‘friendly’ sim match would be the perfect way for the two of you to work out your differences.”
I glared at Barney for a moment before nodding agreement. “Fine,” I said. “The sims it is.”
“Agreed,” Barney added a moment later.
“Then I’ll arrange your sims match for this afternoon,” Carson said. “I have a feeling that the sooner you can get this out of your systems, the better.” Then her expression hardened again as she reminded us, “And of course, as always, what happens in the sims stays in the sims.”
I nodded again, not exactly thrilled about having to deal with Barney in the sims, since it would be much more satisfying to teach him another lesson in real life where it would be much more likely to stick. However, there were benefits to fighting in the sims, and I intended to take full advantage of them.
--------------------
Whateley Academy, Sunday early afternoon, Nov 18th 2007
Elizabeth Carson sat in her office with Louis Geintz. The fact that she was in her office on a Sunday was nothing new. As the headmistress of Whateley Academy, there was no such thing as real time off, merely brief periods of calm between the storms requiring her personal attention. And as she well knew, those storms could arrive at any time, regardless of whether or not it was convenient for her.
“I expect this kind of behavior from the students…not the faculty,” Carson said in an annoyed tone.
“Those two have been at each other’s throats since Christine arrived on campus,” Louis pointed out with a faint scowl. “I suspect that it was only a matter of time before they came to physical blows. In fact, my only real surprise is that it’s taken this long.”
Carson leaned back in her chair and scowled with a thoughtful expression. “I know Roland and Christine have a history, but I’m clearly missing some important details. I know several people, myself included, who have tried capturing Christine during her previous career, but she doesn’t hold any grudges against us.”
Louis chuckled faintly. “As Christine might say, you were just her professional opposition, and she doesn’t take that kind of thing personally.”
“But this grudge between her and Roland is most definitely personal,” Carson mused. “The question is, why?” Then she paused to stare at Louis. “You already know, don’t you?”
“And here I thought that I was the mind reader,” Louis responded wryly.
Carson gave him a flat look. “Louis…”
Louis let out a sign and shook his head. “I promised Christine I wouldn’t tell anyone, but I think the situation has escalated enough that you need to know.” He hesitated another couple seconds before announcing, “Christine blames Roland for the loss of her child.”
“What?” Carson asked in surprise.
Louis nodded sadly. “You know that Roland has a temper, and a rather large amount of pride, while Christine has a talent for both angering and embarrassing people…”
“They’re like fire and gasoline,” Carson responded in agreement.
“From what both Roland and Christine have said,” Louis continued, “Roland took Christine’s usual mocking much more personally than most. And when he happened to stumble across her location in an unguarded moment, he took advantage of the opportunity to vent his anger and frustration.” He paused for a moment, looking Carson in the eyes as he continued, “According to Christine, he ambushed her and beat her half to death, then intentionally tried to finish the job by drowning her.”
Carson’s eyes widened just a little. “I see.”
“I spoke to Roland about this as well,” Louis told her. “And though he phrased things quite differently, he confirmed the general events. In this particular situation, I believe Christine’s version.”
“I see,” Carson repeated with a scowl. “And what does this have to do with the loss of her child?” Then she paused with a sudden look of understanding.
Louis nodded. “Christine had been pregnant at the time.”
A look of anger passed over Carson’s face and flared in her eyes before she regained control of her expression and hit it behind a calm mask. “That would definitely explain Christine’s grudge…”
“You already know the rest,” Louis said with a sigh. “She retaliated by humiliating Roland so badly that he was forced to retire from being a hero, and he holds a personal grudge from that.”
“Then they both ended up here at Whateley,” Carson stated
“I’m amazed that Christine’s retaliation wasn’t a lot worse than it was,” Louis admitted. “And the fact that she was willing to abide by a truce with Roland clearly demonstrates that she has much more self-control than anyone ascribes to her.”
“And now their truce seems to be at an end,” Carson said with a clear note of annoyance.
Louis nodded at that. “Roland has been trying to work around it for several months, sending proxies after Christine without attacking her directly. According to Christine, yesterday was the last straw. She told me that Roland contacted Lamplighter and sent him after her.”
“He WHAT?” Carson demanded. “It seems that Roland and I will need to have a talk about appropriate behavior, as well as our neutrality rules…” Then she paused, scowling deeply as she considered the situation. “Now I need to figure out how to diffuse this feud before I’m forced to fire two of my teachers.”
“I don’t think we can stop their enmity,” Louis admitted. “Not now. I believe that the best we can do is to confine their fighting to an acceptable form…like he sims.”
“You may be right,” Carson said with a scowl and a shake of her head. “Hopefully, their match this afternoon will let them both get it out of their systems…at least for the time being.”
--------------------
Whateley Academy, Sunday afternoon, Nov 18th 2007
I crouched down on the roof of a tall building, silently surveying my domain. My domain was a city, or at least, several city blocks which resembled parts of Brooklyn. There were a lot of brownstone buildings, but nothing more than six stories tall.
The buildings were ideal for me, since they provided walls to scramble up, roofs to leap across, and plenty of places to duck out of sight and hide. In fact, half of this sim almost seemed to have been designed specifically to give me an advantage.
Of course, the other half consisted of extra-wide streets, a large intersection, not to mention a park with a big grassy field. These areas were ideal for a giant who needed a lot of room to move around, which made them perfect for Barney. Unfortunately, this same open ground was a serious problem for me, because it provided few places to take cover or hide.
“Half the terrain benefits him, and half benefits me,” I mused. “Only fair, I guess.”
While looking over the general terrain, I also noticed one other complication for this sim. The people. This wasn’t an empty city, but a live and bustling one, with people walking down the street and doing their normal thing. Of course, they weren’t real people and were only part of the sim, but they added a depth of realism.
Then I saw Barney, who had probably been dropped off on the opposite section of the game board as me. That was no surprise though since we were opponents in this little game.
“I never liked Monopoly,” I mused, looking around at all the buildings. “I’m more of a Mousetrap girl…”
My attention went back to Barney, who was now over twenty feet tall and dressed in his old T Rex Costume which was mostly red spandex. From what I could see at this distance, he no longer looked much like he did in the real world. He was about fifteen to twenty years younger, and not only had he dropped a few years of age, he’d also lost the beard and the spare tire from his gut.
Barney might have made himself look younger in the sim, and in much better shape, but I wasn’t the least bit concerned. The truth was, Barney had been out of action for a long time, so younger or not, he was still rusty and out of practice.
I remained where I was, silently watching Barney for several minutes. Okay, I was glaring at him, but I’d earned that right. I was not a vengeful Imp. Sure, there were times when someone crossed a line and I had to teach them a lesson, but after I was done with that, I usually put it out of my mind and moved on. I’d tried doing that with Barney, but it hadn’t worked. The very sight of him brought back memories from one of the worst times of my life, and even when I tried playing nice, he continued to push. I’d tried teaching him a lesson, but it just hadn’t worked.
“Good thing I’m a teacher now,” I said with an evil grin. “This time, I’m going to make sure the lesson sticks.”
With that, I quickly hurried across the buildings, leaping from rooftop to rooftop while trying to stay out of sight. I kept an eye on Barney as I did so, which was easy to do thanks to his current size. One thing I’d always liked about Barney, was that he always made an enormous target.
Once I was in position, I decided that it was time to make my move. I wasn’t about to go running out to Barney, where I’d be out in the open. Instead, I needed to bring him to me. And I knew exactly how to do that.
I reached into my backpack and pulled out a portable IPod and some speakers which I’d had scanned into my sim record right before we began the match. With a snicker, I set the right tune, hit play, and then hurried away from the IPod as quickly as I could.
From behind me, the Barney theme song began playing. “I love you. You love me…” It was annoying as hell, but as much as it bothered me, it was a LOT worse for Barney.
“IMP!” Barney yelled, already flying into a rage from the song.
The giant ‘hero’ ran to the building, growing even larger as he did so. A massive hand smashed down on the roof, crushing my IPod and ending the song. Debris exploded from the impact and rained down onto the sidewalk below.
“AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,” Barney roared, “I’M FINALLY GOING TO GET YOU!”
I glared at Barney from the next building over, the very sight of him in that costume being enough to make my own rage bubble to the surface. I snarled and my PK claws dug into the roof, slicing right through it. I was just as pissed as Barney was, but unlike him, I wasn’t going to charge forward in a blind rage. Angry and vengeful make you sloppy. Sure, I was REALLY pissed at Barney, but I couldn’t afford to get sloppy. That meant trying to put a lid on my own anger.
“Keep him angry and off balance,” I quietly told myself. “Don’t get that way yourself.”
Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. Still, I was experienced enough to know that if I let myself lose control like that, then I’d be giving up any advantage I had. If I let myself get that sloppy, then I was almost guaranteed to lose, and there was absolutely no way in hell that I was going to lose to Barney.
“I hate you, you hate me. You’re an asshole can’t you see,” I sang out to the Barney tune.
Barney hurried to the building I now occupied, but before he could reach me, I pulled my vanishing trick. I disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving him angry and frustrated. I carefully crept away, which wasn’t easy since I wanted to run as fast as I could, rather than crawl at a snail’s pace.
“WHERE ARE YOU?” Barney demanded.
I just crouched down beside a water tower on top of a building, suddenly wishing that I’d brought some purple dye. I snickered at the idea of what I could do with that, and just how pissed off I could make him. Unfortunately, I hadn’t had time to get any dye loaded into the sim registry, so I had to make do with what I did have.
“Fee fi fo fum,” I called out while standing out in the open where he could see me. “Boy your face sure looks dumb.”
Barney came at me again, and I heard people screaming from the street below. Since he obviously wasn’t watching where he was stepping, there was a good chance that he was stepping on civilians.
“NOW I’VE GOT YOU, YOU FREAK!” Barney yelled, swinging a massive fist at me.
This was just what I was waiting for, so I abruptly ran to the side, forming a PK blade around the flat of my tail as I did so. I ran past the water tower, slicing the support legs as I went past. The whole water tower tipped sideways and crashed open, pouring the contents right into Barney’s face.
“You’re all washed up,” I exclaimed, right before I abruptly changed direction and ran straight towards Barney
The giant Barney was standing right beside the building, and he was in the process of wiping the water out of his eyes. I leapt at him as hard as I could, and then at the last moment, I focused every ounce of PK energy around my fists, and punched Barney as hard as I could. There was a crunching sound as his nose shattered beneath my blow.
Barney howled in pain as he grabbed for his nose, which was now gushing blood. I simply used his face as a springboard and shoved myself off and back towards the roof before his hands could reach me. Once I was on the roof, I burned rubber, making sure I got well out of his reach before I pulled my vanishing trick again.
“You know,” I called out from my hiding spot on top of the next building over. “Fat, dumb, and ugly, really works for you.”
By this point, Barney was in a blind rage, and he began attacking everything in sight…but well away from where I was actually located. The side of the building shook and shattered as windows and walls crumbled beneath his blows. Chunks of roof were torn off and thrown behind him. He didn’t seem to care about anyone inside the building, which was nothing new. He’d always been reckless in real life and had thrown even that small bit of restraint away now that we were in the sims.
“Where’s Godzilla when you really need him?” I asked aloud, which only made Barney attack even more frantically. “Or Grape Ape. Yeah, definitely Grape Ape, Grape Ape.”
I dropped my chameleon field and ‘reappeared’ in a puff of smoke. That immediately got Barney’s attention, especially when I ran and leapt over to the next building. He immediately came after me again, completely ignoring the simulated civilians in his path.
“Neener neener neener,” I called out. “Barney has a really small wiener.” Then I paused long enough to blow him a raspberry.
“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” Barney yelled. “LAMPLIGHTER AND THE CRIMSON KID MAY HAVE FAILED TO STOP YOU, BUT I WON’T. NOT THIS TIME.”
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries,” I called back with a smirk, while simultaneously flipping him off.
“DIE, YOU COCKROACH!” Barney howled as he began tearing into the new building, apparently trying to tear it out from beneath me.
Now that I’d pushed Barney’s buttons enough to drive him into a full-blown temper tantrum, it was time to get serious. “No more miss nice Imp,” I said.
“I’M GOING TO SQUASH YOU LIKE THE COCKROACH YOU ARE,” Barney threatened.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said dismissively. “You know, you’re starting to sound like a broken record. You’re getting too predictable… BORING!”
Barney seemed confused by that, and by the fact that I was now coming straight towards him. He tried slapping at me, but I dropped down and his hand missed.
“It’s time to change things up,” I announced, giving Barney a cold glare before adding, “To the pain.”
Barney tried hitting me again, but this time, I charged forward. I leapt right at his face, throwing several spikes ahead of me and sending one of them straight into his eye. At his current size, they were nothing more than slivers. However, getting your eye pierced by a metal sliver was still extremely painful.
While Barney screamed out and grabbed his eye, I landed on his shoulder. In a quick move, I tossed one of my smoke bombs right into his ear canal, then raked my PK claws along the side of his face. When the smoke bomb exploded, he staggered with his equilibrium thrown off.
This would have been a great time to make a snarky comment, but I didn’t think Barney would be able to hear it with that ear. And honestly, I was done playing ‘friendly neighborhood Imp’ for now, and ready to finally show Barney what happened when he really pissed me off.
A moment later, I formed a PK blade on the flat of my tail and slammed it down into Barney’s shoulder, right as I stepped off and began sliding down his back. My tail trailed behind me, slicing Barney all the way down, just like a razor blade. I couldn’t go deep enough to really get anything critical, but I could really make it hurt.
When I hit the ground, I went into a roll, bounced back to my feet, then ran straight for the nearest door. Barney was staggering around, stumbling and screaming. I definitely did NOT want to get caught underfoot.
“YOU BITCH,” Barney yelled, trying to stomp on me, though I was already out of his way.
However, he quickly turned his attention to the building and began kicking at the side, shattering windows and crushing the sides. I leapt out of the now missing window and ran straight towards his oversized feet. With a flick of my tail, my PK blade went right through his achilles tendon.
With his tendon sliced, Barney’s leg could no longer support him and he dropped down to his knees, still screaming in pain. I dove to the side, taking advantage of the opportunity to get his other tendon as well. Now he wouldn’t be getting back up again.
“Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle Imp,” I called out, unable to resist the power of the snark side.
There was one thing that Barney hadn’t considered about fighting in the sims. Sure, he could cut loose and not worry about collateral damage, but by the same rules…I didn’t have to hold back either.
Normally, there were things I just didn’t do in a fight unless I was cornered and had no choice. But in the sims, where there were no permanent consequences, EVERYTHING was on the table…much to Barney’s misfortune.
I’d taken out Barney’s mobility, but he was still huge and strong, a fact that I was forced to remember when he swung his arm against the side of the building and flung debris in my direction. I dove to the side, avoiding a chunk of stone, but a second piece came right at me. I formed a PK shield and blocked it, but missed yet another chunk, which hit my shoulder.
“Shazbot,” I exclaimed in pain.
MY whole shoulder hurt like hell, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if something was broken. I guess that was what happened when I get careless and overconfident.
“I’m not done yet,” I said, glaring at Barney, who was getting ready to fling another wave of debris.
Instead of running away from Barney, I ran towards him instead. He flung more debris, but this time his aim was off and I only had to dodge one piece. That REALLY hurt my shoulder, but not enough to stop me.
“Now to get you where it really hurts,” I exclaimed, running right between his legs and lashing out with my PK blade.
Barney immediately screamed…in soprano…and dropped to the ground where he curled up and tried grabbing at his ruined groin. He was in too much pain to even notice as I simply walked up to his face.
“You know why I went after you all those years ago?” I demanded in a quiet voice. I was close enough to his good ear that he should be able to hear me. “It wasn’t because you ambushed me on my day off, beat me to a bloody pulp, and then tried to murder me…or at least not JUST because of that.” I leaned down and hissed, “It was because I was pregnant at the time.”
Barney’s good eye widened, and I knew that he’d heard me. However, I doubted that he would regret his actions. He was full of too much pride and ego for something like that, which was why I’d just taken those things away from him.
Then with an evil grin, I ‘booped’ his nose and announced, “I win.”
--------------------
The Village, Sunday late afternoon, Nov 18th 2007
I was sitting at my usual table in the Flying Blue Squirrel, leaning back in my chair and sipping my beer. The Village pub was a little busier than it usually was at this time on a Sunday, but most of these people were here for a few drinks after the show.
Smiling faintly, I remembered climbing out of my sim crèche a short time ago, only to find out that there had been a much bigger audience for my ‘private’ match than I’d expected. It seemed that a lot of the school faculty members didn’t really have anything else going on and had shown up to watch the match…and bet on it.
After the match, Barney had quietly slipped away in shame and humiliation. I hadn’t seen him since, nor did I want to. Sure, it would have been fun to brag and mock him a bit, but I didn’t really feel the need to do so at the moment.
That fight had been strangely cathartic, letting me release all the built-up anger and resentment. Now I felt oddly calm, and almost as though a weight had been removed from my shoulders. But of course, I had no doubt that Barney would piss me off again before long, and we’d probably build right back up to this again.
While I drank my beer, I quietly listened in on the conversation around me. Some of it brought a smile to my lips.
“I didn’t realize the Imp could be so…vicious,” one of the teachers said from a couple tables away.
Her table companion responded in a wry tone. “She’s a villain. You don’t survive in that field for as long as she did unless you can take care of yourself.”
Then I heard Gunny Bardue talking to Ryan Wilson, saying, “Williams was thrashing around like an epileptic rager, rather than like the hero he was supposed to be. I’ve seen incoming freshman perform better than that…on their first time in the sims.”
“It’s hard to believe he was EVER a hero,” Wilson agreed. “If that had been a real-world situation, he would have killed a couple dozen civilians during that rampage…”
Bardue scowled and took a long drink from his own glass. “If one of my students pulled that shit in the sims, I’d ream his ass then make him write a ten-page report on everything he did wrong.”
“Well, it was nice seeing him get his ass handed to him like that,” Wilson said with a chuckle.
That reminded me that Wilson had his own issues with Barney. Then again, Barney was an arrogant prick with a lot of loud opinions, and a real knack for pissing people off. At least when I did it, it was intentional.
I just smiled contentedly. My plan to push Barney’s buttons and drive him into a rage had worked. Nobody who’d seen that fight would ever be able to see him as a hero again. He’d crossed a couple lines and pissed me off, so once again, I hit him where it hurt most…his pride, ego, and reputation.
Of course, not everyone was happy about how the match had ended. I’d overheard some grumblings from those who thought Barney should have beaten me, and that I deserved it for what I’d done to him. However, other than a few dirty looks, nobody had said this to my face.
Just then, Wilson came over to my table and set a beer in front of me. “My treat,” he told me with a smile. “You earned me fifty bucks.”
“Thanks,” I responded with a nod of acknowledgment and a smile of my own.
Just as Wilson turned to leave, Ophelia Tenent came over with a somewhat disturbed look on her face. She cautiously said, “Your attacks were rather…vicious…”
“Yet, you’ll note,” Carson said, coming up behind her, “the Imp has a reputation for running away from fights, not for leaving a trail of bodies in her wake.”
“There is that, I suppose,” Ophelia admitted. “But I still think you have gone just a little too far.”
“Perhaps,” Carson said, giving me an odd look. “But in this specific instance, I think it may have been justified.”
Carson stared at me for several seconds, then gave me a faint nod before walking away. To my surprise, there was no lecture about behaving professionally and not fighting with other faculty members outside of the sims. Maybe she just assumed that I’d already learned that lesson.
I picked up the beer that Wilson had given me and took a sip. I hadn’t even taken a second when a familiar figure slipped into the chair across from me.
“Tabby,” I said with a smile. “Bored with Rhode Island again already?”
“Not exactly,” Tabby told me. “But I do have responsibilities here too…”
“Responsibility,” I said with a dismissive snort. “Who needs it.” Tabby chuckled at that.
“I’m gone for five minutes,” Tabby commented, “and you start taking down all the other teachers. And what’s worse, I just got back and missed the entire thing.”
“It was kind of short notice,” I admitted. “And honestly, I didn’t expect it to end up being such a big deal.”
“You should have,” Tabby told me with a smirk. “Everyone knows that you and Williams can’t stand each other, so when you finally come to blows, they want to see it for themselves.”
I just rolled my eyes at that. “Well, if I’d known we’d have such a big audience, I would have sold tickets.”
“Pay-per-view,” Tabby replied. “You’d get a bigger haul.”
“Good point,” I agreed. Then I asked, “So, you finish cleaning up that whole Triangle mess?”
“We shut down the cell in Providence,” Tabby answered with a thoughtful look, “but I’m pretty sure a couple slipped away, and that isn’t even taking into account all their other cells outside of Rhode Island.”
“At least you know to look out for them now,” I pointed out.
Tabby nodded, though she didn’t look happy. “Yes, but unfortunately, their PR machine is already at work, and the Triangle is claiming that we’re a bunch of mutant supremacists who are making up a bunch of lies to interfere with their attempts at peaceful coexistence.”
“Of course,” I commented with a shake of my head. “What else are they going to say?”
Tabby shrugged at that. “Anyway, back to something a little more interesting… Tell me about this fight between you and Williams?”
I grinned at that and began describing what happened, though I left out a lot of details that would have given away too much about my powers. I was a firm believer in the philosophy of always leave them guessing.
While I talked about how I’d completely humiliated and destroyed Barney, my thoughts went to some of my other enemies who also needed to learn a lesson or three. After what the IRS had pulled yesterday, they definitely deserved a little special attention too.
At this point, Franklin Delarose suddenly burst through the door and made a beeline straight for Carson. “We’ve got a problem,” he told her with a grim expression. “There’s been an incident in Berlin…”
While the two of them ran out the door, I turned to Tabby and joked, “At least this time, I can honestly say it wasn’t me…”
--------------------
Berlin NH, Tuesday early morning, Nov 20th, 2007
It was in the darkest hours of the morning, the time when most people were fast asleep. This was the perfect time for a professional thief, or even a retired professional thief, to be out and about her business.
I stood in the middle of a darkened hotel room, staring down at my target. Crash Test Dummy was sprawled out in his bed, snoring loudly. He was completely undressed, not even wearing so much as a pair of skivvies…much to my disgust. I did NOT need to see this. Even his prosthetic hand and foot had been removed and were sitting on the table beside his bed.
“You should have left well enough alone,” I whispered.
With that, I pulled out a small canister and sprayed the contents into his face, being careful not to breath any of it in myself. This would make sure he didn’t wake up too early.
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word,” I quietly sang, keeping my voice down so I didn’t risk waking anyone in the neighboring room. “Imp’s gonna buy you a mocking bird…”
Once I was sure that Crash Test Dummy wasn’t going to wake up, I went around the hotel room and checked things out a little more closely. There was actually a trap set up against the door, basically a high tech claymore mine that would blow the hell out of anyone trying to break in. Good thing for me, I’d come in through the window. Most people don’t think to properly secure those, especially when they were five stories up.
The room had the same layout as every other room in the hotel, which was convenient for me since if you know one room, you know them all. Another convenient detail was the fact that all five members of the IRS were staying in the same hotel, so that they could be near each other when they finally found me. It was so nice of them to all gather together in one place like this.
“Only four rooms, and I get the whole set,” I mused.
It was four rooms instead of five because I’d found Hexagoner 2.0 and Jack Ass sleeping together. I was really disappointed, because I’d thought she had better taste than that.
Since Jack Ass and Hexagoner were so close to each other, I decided to help them out by pouring half a Costco sized bottle of super-duper glue over the two of them. Now they’d be firmly stuck to each other as well as the bedding. This was going to be humiliating, painful, and extremely inconvenient for the both of them.
I’d already dealt with Blondie as well. I’d shaved her head bald, getting rid of the blonde hair she seemed so proud of, before I started with the real fun. Glue and feathers. LOTS of feathers. When I’d left her room a short time ago, she’d looked like an oversized chicken. And thanks to the glue I’d used, those feathers wouldn’t be coming off easily.
“Who needs tar when glue works even better?” I mused to myself.
Now I turned my attention back to Crash Test Dummy, my fourth target of the night. I pulled out the large bottle of super-duper glue and grinned evilly. There wasn’t a whole lot left, but it would still be more than enough to make him miserable.
I poured half the remaining glue onto Crash Test Dummy’s hand and positioned it on his tinkie winkie…or more accurately, his dinkie winkie. That might be a common place for his hand to rest, but I was pretty sure that he wouldn’t like being unable to remove it. This would cause some definite problems when it came time to putting on some pants…not to mention going out in public. I used the last bit of glue on his legs, gluing them together, just to increase the inconvenience factor by that much more.
Even though I had a serious grudge against the entire IRS, Crash Test Dummy had earned some extra attention. He was the one who’d cut off my tail. Because of that, I gathered his armor, weapons, and prosthetics, along with every piece of clothing in the room, and stuffed them into a couple garbage bags. These would go into the filthy dumpster I’d seen behind the hotel.
Before I left Crash Test Dummy’s room, I disarmed the trap on his door and left an eye patch beside his bed, right where he was sure to see it. I was confident that he’d get the message.
“Now I just need to visit the Crimson Idiot,” I mused. “And I’m all out of glue…”
With an evil grin, I reached into my backpack and pulled out a Costco sized bottle of laxative. This was the same bottle that I’d used in one of my classes last Friday, as a prop. However, this time I intended to use it as it was intended…more or less.
Twenty minutes later, I stopped at the dumpsters and tossed in the now half-empty bottle of laxative, right on top of a couple garbage bags. After this, I had no doubt that the Crimson Kid was going to have a really shitty morning. All of them were, though his would be a bit more literal than the rest.
“That should do it,” I said with a smirk.
Of course, this was the last warning that I gave those idiots. If they ever came after me again, I’d take off the kid gloves and probably give them the Barney treatment. I hated doing that kind of thing to people, because in spite of what some people thought, I was a kind and merciful Imp. But if they cornered me, I’d have no choice.
It was just too bad that the Triangle wasn’t hanging around the area, or I would have taught them a few lessons as well. After the crap they’d pulled Sunday, they deserved every bit of this…and then some.
“It looks like I’m done for now,” I mused, going over to where I’d left my Imp cycle parked. “Maybe I can get back in time to catch a couple Z’s before class…”
Then I paused, hesitating for a moment before pulling out my phone. This might be crossing a line, but they crossed the lines first, and I had a feeling that the IRS might need one final push to stop their attacks on me, or at least something that would keep them too busy to bother.
With an evil grin, I made a call. “Hello, police… I’d like to report the locations of some criminals…”
--------------------
Wednesday afternoon, Nov 21st, 2007
I’d never liked riding in cars, or even driving. I always felt confined and trapped, and worried that I couldn’t escape easily if I needed to. Oddly enough, I didn’t have that same problem with planes. Sure, it was even more difficult to escape from one of those in an emergency, but I had enough room to move around inside, and that seemed to make all the difference.
I was currently sitting in the first-class section, in my Candice guise, enjoying a comfortable flight back to New York. I took a sip of my wine and smiled in contentment. After spending so many years hiding in the cargo sections of different aircraft, I was quite happy to enjoy a bit of luxury now that I had the opportunity.
Looking out the window, I announced in my best William Shatner voice, “There’s…something…on…the…wing.”
“WHERE?” Melissa demanded, immediately pressing up against the window for a better look.
I rolled my eyes, disappointed that I’d wasted such a great line on someone who obviously didn’t get the reference. I made a mental note to use that one on Ryan if I ever had the opportunity. He hated flying about as much as I disliked cars, so if I could ever use that line on him while we were flying… I smirked at the very idea. That would be fun.
“I don’t see anything,” Melissa grumbled in disappointment, which made me chuckle a little.
“So, what do you think?” I asked her.
“This is awesome,” Melissa exclaimed with a broad grin. “I’ve never been in first class before. This seat is huge…and the food is way better than what I usually get…”
Melissa’s enthusiasm made me thankful that I’d upgraded her ticket to first class. The way I figured it, we were both heading back to New York for the holiday weekend, so it only made sense that we travel together.
“Thank you, Im...,” Melissa started.
I quickly cut her off. “Christine.”
“Oh yeah,” Melissa responded, looking a little chagrinned. “Sorry, Christine.”
I looked around, making sure that nobody was paying much attention. The last thing I wanted was for someone to realize that plain and boring Candice Kade, was really the beautiful, talented, and fabulous Imp. And since there were a couple other kids from Whateley on board, the chance of being found out was already a little higher than I liked.
“Are you coming to our place for Thanksgiving dinner?” Melissa abruptly asked me.
“Probably not,” I responded a little awkwardly.
“But Dad cooks really good,” Melissa protested.
“Yes, he does,” I agreed with faint smile. “But…”
I paused for a moment, barely even able to remember what it was like having a Thanksgiving dinner with the family. The last Thanksgiving dinner… The last real one that I’d had, had been a couple decades ago, back before the old Cowan crew had broken up and gone their separate ways. I’d eaten dinner with Frank a time or two since then, but that had only been the two of us, and had consisted of TV dinners.
“Your aunt is going to be there,” I reminded Melissa.
“Oh yeah,” Melissa exclaimed, nearly bouncing in her seat. “I can’t wait to tell Aunt Brandy about what happened on Sunday…”
“Of course,” I responded wryly. “And somehow, she’ll find a way to blame me…”
“But you weren’t there,” Melissa protested.
“No, I had something else going on,” I said, thinking about my fight with Barney. While I’d been fighting him, Melissa and her friends had gotten into their own trouble in Berlin. “I would have been there to help you if I could have…”
“I know,” Melissa responded, giving me a grin.
We landed a short time later, and while we were getting off the plane, I caught sight of a Whateley student. It was the self-proclaimed Nightlord, a particularly obnoxious hero wannabe who seemed to be on the same path as Jack Ass and the Crimson Kid. I didn’t acknowledge his presence in any way, and hoped that he didn’t see me. If he saw me with Melissa, who he’d probably recognize as a fellow student, that could raise some questions I didn’t want asked.
Ryan was waiting for us on the other side of the security checkpoint, and as soon as I saw him, my heart began to race. It hadn’t even been a full week since the last time we’d seen each other, but it still seemed like too long. My tail began swishing back and forth and I had to forcibly control it before I accidentally hit someone.
“Melissa,” he announced, giving his daughter a big hug. Then he looked over at me and smiled. “Christine… How was your flight?”
“It was awesome,” Melissa exclaimed with a grin. “I got to ride in first class, and Christine said she saw something on the wing, and…”
Ryan chuckled. “You can tell me all about it on the ride home.” Then he asked me, “How are you doing?”
“Not bad,” I answered with a faint smirk. “I had a meeting with the IRS yesterday morning.”
Ryan gave me a worried look, then relaxed a little. “From your expression, I take it that it went well…”
“Very well,” I responded with an evil grin. “Hopefully, they’ll stay off my back permanently. As it is, I don’t think that most of them will even make bail.”
“Now, I have a feeling that this is a story I want to hear,” Ryan told me.
“Me too,” Melissa quickly added, giving me an expectant look. “Maybe you can tell us tomorrow…during dinner.” She looked a little smug at that.
“That’s a good idea,” Ryan responded with a smile of his own. “You can have Thanksgiving with us.”
“That’s probably not a good idea,” I reminded him. “I don’t want to cause problems with your family…”
Ryan stared at me for a moment with an odd expression. Then he moved in and kissed me, much to my delight. My tail practically stood on end.
“It won’t be any problem,” Ryan assured me. “And I think it’s time that I introduced you to my sister officially. I want to you to spend Thanksgiving with us.”
“You know, that’s probably a bad idea,” I started.
“So is dating you,” Ryan said with a smile. “But I’m still happy I am. Besides, imagine the look on her face when she sees you at the dinner table…”
I burst out laughing while Melissa began giggling as well. “Well, I can’t argue with that now, can I…?”
--------------------
Manhattan NY, Thursday afternoon, Nov 22nd, 2007
I stood in the middle of Ryan’s kitchen, holding a fly swatter that I absently swished around. Sitting the counter beside me was a plate of chocolate chip cookies, which I’d brought with me. I hadn’t made them myself, of course. Though I was a woman of many impressive talents, not to mention boundless modesty, baking was not one of my skills. However, the bakery that I’d bought them from had a really good reputation.
“What are you doing in here?” Ryan asked, giving me a suspicious look.
“Training,” I answered with a faint smirk.
A moment later, I suddenly snapped lashed out with the fly swatter, snapping the invisible hand that was reaching for the cookies. “OUCH!” Melissa cried out, turning visible again and jumping back. She rubbed the back of her hand while pouting.
“Nice try,” I told Melissa as I swished the fly swatter back and forth. “But not good enough.”
“But I want a cookie,” she grumbled, still pouting.
I rolled my eyes at that. “And I already told you, you’ve got to be patient and wait for the right opportunity. If you move too soon…” I snapped the fly swatter down in front of me again. “You get caught.”
Melissa nodded at that and left the kitchen, however, I had absolutely no doubt that she’d be back for another try. Patience was definitely important for a thief, but so was persistence, and she had that down flat.
“That was…interesting,” Ryan said with a look of amusement.
“Melissa requires unconventional training methods,” I pointed out with a proud smile. “Fortunately, I happen to be an unconventional teacher.”
“No doubt,” Ryan responded with a chuckle. “I don’t know anyone more unconventional.”
With that, he moved closer to give me a kiss. I might have been distracted at the moment, but I kept my guard up in case someone made another try for the cookies.
“You know,” I told Ryan, becoming a little more serious. “It isn’t too late. I can still slip on the Candice face…”
“You’re fine the way you are,” he assured me. I just smiled at that, swishing my tail back and forth behind me, though I was still a little worried.
It was just a few seconds after this that the doorbell rang. “That must be Brandy,” Ryan said, about to go get it. Then he paused to say, “Promise you’ll behave tonight.”
“What happened to being fine, just the way I am?” I asked.
“Christine…,” he said.
“Fine,” I responded with a smirk. “I’ll behave. Imp’s honor.” Of course, my fingers were crossed.
Ryan gave me a skeptical look but nodded and left the kitchen. I watched him go, keeping a close eye on his ass. It was a nice one.
“I GOT A COOKIE!” Melissa suddenly yelled from behind me. I turned to see her running out of the kitchen with a handful of cookies.
“Enjoy them,” I called out. “You earned it.”
From where I was at in the kitchen, I could hear Ryan open the door and greet his sister. “Thanks for coming,” he told her. “And just so you know, my girlfriend Christine is here.”
“You’ve mentioned her a couple times,” Brandy responded. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting her.”
I was in the next room and couldn’t see them, but there was a noticeable hesitation in Ryan’s voice before he carefully said, “Christine can get a little…snarky when she’s nervous. Please don’t push her.”
Brandy laughed at that. “You almost make it sound like you’re dating the Imp.”
Hearing my cue, I stepped into the living room and asked, “Did someone say my name?”
Brandy’s eyes shot open so wide that they almost looked like they were going to pop out of her head, Melissa giggled, and Ryan face palmed. A moment later, I was suddenly lifted up in the air, where I was held suspended by Brandy’s telekinesis.
“IMP!” she exclaimed.
“Oh goody,” I said cheerfully. “We’re starting the party games.”
It only took me a couple seconds to adjust my PK aura so that she could no longer hold me. It was almost like I’d become a greased pig, or maybe one of those old water weenie toys. Maybe even a greased water weenie, though admittedly, that got my thoughts going into a rather naughty direction. Either way, I slipped right out of her grip and fell right back to the floor.
“You see,” I told Melissa with a grin, “this is why you always research your opponents and what they can do, just so this kind of thing doesn’t happen to you.”
Melissa giggled while Brandy glared at me. Ryan let out a sigh. Clearly, this wasn’t how he’d imagined this meeting would go, though I had warned him.
“You’ve met Christine before,” Ryan said, gesturing to me.
“I told you that I had a boyfriend,” I reminded her a little smugly.
“But she’s the IMP,” Brandy blurted out.
“She is?” Ryan asked with mock surprise. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“The Imp is awesome,” Melissa exclaimed, running over to give me a hug, though she only used one arm since her other hand was still holding a small stack of cookies.
“You’re pretty awesome too,” I responded, which immediately brought a broad grin to her face.
“I ran into Christine when I was visiting Melissa at Whately last month,” Ryan told his sister. “Needless to say, I was a bit surprised. But after we started talking, we sort of…hit it off and began dating.”
While Ryan regaled Brandy with the story of how we began dating, Melissa and I went and found a spot to sit on the couch. After a couple minutes, Ryan and Brandy came to join us. She was still a bit shaken by my presence and gave me a couple suspicious looks.
“What are you doing with all those cookies?” Brandy finally asked Melissa. “We’re going to have dinner in just a little bit.”
“I stole them,” Melissa bragged, practically puffing up as she did so.
I nodded agreement. “She stole them fair and square.”
That brought a look of disapproval from Brandy, though she shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, she already knew that Melissa was my apprentice, since I knew that Ryan had already talked with her about this. He’d explained that everything I was teaching Melissa, was basically the same things she’d learn in her survival class. I was just giving her a bit more personal attention, and more in-depth knowledge.
“These cookies are great,” Melissa announced. “My friend Amy makes awesome cookies…and brownies. She makes these devisor brownies that Monkeywrench really loves, but nobody will let me have any because they say I don’t need the caffeine. I don’t think that’s very fair though, because I like brownies too…”
I just smiled at Melissa while she talked until running herself out. Then she was immediately on her feet and rushing back to her room. When she returned, she was holding a sketch pad.
“See what I drew last night,” Melissa exclaimed, holding out the pad.
“Not bad,” I said, looking at the picture she’d drawn and trying to look impressed.
Melissa didn’t really have a lot of talent with sketching, but what she lacked in talent and skill, she made up for with enthusiasm. I never underestimated the value of enthusiasm, because that could drive someone to gaining the skills they really needed.
“But don’t think I’m going to be giving you extra credit,” I teased her.
“I wasn’t trying to get extra credit,” Melissa protested.
“Well, it’s a good try,” I told her before flipping to an empty page. “Now, let me show you a trick that will help you…”
Melissa curled up on the couch beside me for a better look, while I demonstrated a couple simple tricks. Once I’d done that, I handed the sketch pad back to her, along with the pencil, and let her try it herself.
While I worked with Melissa, Brandy watched me silently. She finally turned to Ryan and whispered, “She seems to be good with Melissa…” It was an almost grudging admission.
“Oh, she is,” Ryan quietly told his sister. “The two of them are almost like two peas in a pod.”
“Hard to believe,” Brandy muttered with a shake of her head.
A short time later, it was time for dinner. We all went to the dining room, and I got a good look at the meal that Ryan had prepared. Admittedly, Brandy had brought a couple dishes, and I’d even contributed a little myself, in the form of a pie I’d bought from the same bakery as the cookies. The whole thing looked fantastic and tasted even better.
“This is great,” I told Ryan as I took a bite of turkey. “Way better than a TV dinner…”
“What’s a TV dinner?” Melissa asked curiously.
“When was the last time you had a Thanksgiving dinner?” Ryan asked me. “I mean, the full meal…”
I hesitated a moment before admitting, “It’s been a few decades.”
Brandy gave me a look of surprise while Ryan gave me one of sympathy. Melissa was busy eating and didn’t seem to be paying any attention whatsoever.
I stared at the carved turkey, old memories swirling around in the back of my mind. Ryan didn’t really know how much this meant to me, to be included in their Thanksgiving meal. I glanced to Brandy, not comfortable about revealing such personal things to her, but I wanted Ryan to know.
“The last time I was at a Thanksgiving dinner like this,” I said with a weak smile, “was before I manifested. But even then, it wasn’t the same…”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“When I was growing up,” I explained a little self-consciously, “Thanksgiving was a formal affair…not casual and easygoing like this.” I gestured around the table. “Thanksgiving was more about tradition and appearances than it was about family or being thankful for what we had. But on the surface, things probably looked like a Normal Rockwell painting, and that was what really mattered.”
Of course, that had all been perfectly normal for my parents. They’d give you a plastic smile to your face, acting all nice and polite, but as soon as your back was turned, they’d whisper about all the things they disapproved of about you. Appearances were everything, even when it came to family holidays.
“I’m sorry,” Brandy said, giving me an odd look. “It’s just a little hard to imagine you in a setting like that.”
I just shrugged at that. “Yeah, my family didn’t think I belonged either.”
That put a damper in the whole conversation, so I asked Melissa about her latest prank on Trixie, which sparked a whole new conversation. Melissa excitedly told everyone about the various pranks that she and Trixie and been pulling on each other, and it didn’t take long before everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves again, just the way they should on Thanksgiving.
Once dinner was over and the table was cleared, we all ended up back in the living room and settled in for our turkey naps. I climbed onto the couch and curled up against Ryan, wrapping my tail around his leg possessively, while he put his arm around me for the same reason. On the other side of me, Melissa lay against me.
Brandy took her position in the recliner and stared at the three of us with an odd expression that turned into a faint smile. She didn’t say anything, but the fact that she didn’t could have been taken as some form of approval. Honestly, I didn’t really care. Ryan and Melissa approved, and that was all that really mattered to me.
At that moment, I just closed my eyes and purred in contentment. I’d never been one to believe in happy endings, at least not since I’d been Melissa’s age. But if there was such a thing as a happy ending, I imagined that it felt a lot like this.
The End