Why Would I Do That?

One evening whilst browsing the internet at home for e-books and interesting text files to download and read on my laptop to brighten up those dull evenings when away on business trips. As hotel internet access here in the UK costs an absolute fortune this was another step along the cost saving route.

Telling the Kids

Ouch, the things you learn from your kids! I suppose every parent goes through this sort of thing, but being able to talk with your now adult children reveals some interesting things you were not aware of when they were growing up. Specifically, I gained some insights into the age old question "Do we tell the kids?" I have a message for all you closeted crossdressers with children: you don't have to tell them, they already know.


Tanstaafl. Sounds like a sneeze or something vaguely Russian. The meaning of the word is best shown in a story retold freely from the writing of Robert A. Heinlein, the inventor of the water bed and the coiner of the word. Seems a young man, newly hired as a traveling salesman, was passing through a new town about lunchtime. Stopping at a likely looking taproom, he enters to find a large sign stating: "FREE LUNCH WITH YOUR DRINK!"

Don't Sweat It

I have been reading TV literature for about twenty years now, and one thing I have noticed is that there seems to be an aversion to speaking about bodily functions. (No, I will not descend to the level of toilet humor, thank you. For that you can watch cable TV.) This always seemed to me rather odd, as we put so much effort into changing our bodies. Way back when, when I was experimenting with creating a more feminine figure, I would have loved advice on how to do it, but such intimate details were not available.

Spageti Straps for Crossdressers

We crossdressers are a creative bunch. With a little paint, some strategically shaped padding and no little imagination we can create a feminine exterior to match our interior being. Admit it now, when your are dressed from head to toe and there is no one else in the house haven't you ever stood in front of the mirror and sung some pop hit by your favorite female singer and thrilled to the applause from the looking glass?

Society Made Me Do It

It's hard to cope with having your world view turned upside down. As crossdressers we all know society disapproves of us. We hide in closets, shop in catalogs or venture timidly to the women's section if suitably inspired. For those of us who are significantly over the norm in size it is a challenge to find a nice dress. That's the conventional wisdom, isn't it?

The Skeptical Crossdreser

Help, I'm overdosed on TV newsletters, magazines books and handouts. Life has been busy of late, and just about everything I found in the PO box has gotten tossed into a pile at the back of the closet, waiting time to read it. So the holiday weekend came and I had time to dress up, lay back and read. I read it all at first, then found myself skipping around a bit, then jumping over whole articles on the title alone.

Size Discrimination

I am a victim of discrimination. Sure, sure, you've heard it before. What crossdresser hasn't experienced discrimination. Just put on a dress to mow the grass and you can absolutely rely on being discriminated against by your family, the neighbors, and the lawn care service. Go shopping for a new girdle and the prejudiced salespeople won't even consider letting you try it on in the changing room. Wear a frilly skirt to work and no one will compliment you on how the colors match your beard. A crossdresser's life is a hard one, but you already know that.

Shaving For The First Time

If a man in woman's clothing has a odd ring to it then a 6'2", 250# wolf in sheep's clothing is surely fair game for some hearty guffaws. If there is one thing serious about the situation it is that I have enjoyed bras, panties and garters for the last 20 years. I still do, but I only enjoy this apparel in the privacy of a motel room or other secluded setting. When I dress it is for the feel of the clothing and the intrinsic pleasure it brings, and this pleasure is largely separate from the rest of my life.


The issue of security came up recently in a letter to one of my sisters. Security must be of overriding concern for many transvestites, and many of us would be in a poor position if they were found out. To me it seems that the security issue can be broken into two parts, public and personal.

The Right to Crossdress?

I'm a happy crossdresser, but I'm still confused. Maybe it's just me, but why are so many of my sisters so dissatisfied with their life, and that of their sisters? Lately it seems that all I see are articles about how we must fight for our rights, demand that our wives, children pets and the general public accept us uncritically, and grant us our every wish.

The Problem of Pockets

Something funny happened the first time my family spent a week at the now infamous home of Jim Bakker, Heritage Village USA. Since I am not a Christian and had to work anyway, I spent the week as a bachelor. Well, not exactly a bachelor, more a bachelorette. I hate that word, it is as awkward as some of the supposed "sexual-bias-free" creations that grace the media these days, and I have a whole new understanding of those libbers who object to those sexist terms.

The Perils of Sewing

There's something wrong here. It says on my resume, of which I have mailed out approximately 6.37 billion in the last year of semi-employment, that I am a highly skilled electromechanical technician. It says a lot of other glowing things, but in essence it means I can go into a factory somewhere and quickly understand and repair several millions of dollars worth of complex machinery that is doing something the normal maintenance staff cannot fix. At the risk of hubris I'm good at it too. So why is it that the common household sewing machine strains my abilities to the breaking point and beyond.

The Bra Museum

I hate Philadelphia. Well, maybe that's a bit too harsh. I hated living in Philadelphia. I took a job that made me move to Philadelphia once and lasted precisely one and a half weeks before I ran screaming back to my rural home and continued unemployment. But perhaps I was a bit hasty, for now it seems the enlightened curators of the Museum of Art there have declared my favorite fetish to be a legitimate subject of cultural study.

I like wearing a dress

I like wearing a dress.

It’s not unusual to wear a dress unless you usually wear trousers. But here I was, in a dress for the first time in ages. And, as far as I could, I felt wonderful, almost girly as the soft satin swished around my calves. The swirl of the fabric delighted me. I enjoyed the .... well, all of it.

Note : This story touches on the wish that there was a group like the SisterDom or as I'm changing it to 'SisterDy'. There is also a considerable element of autobiography. Alys P

Star Traders: a review

Star Traders: a review

The short-lived television show Star Traders (1972-73) has long been legendary among fans of science-fictional TV with good stories and bad special effects. Canceled after less than two seasons, it was never widely syndicated partly because of the small number of episodes and mainly because of rights disputes in the wake of the bankruptcy of Silver Silo Studios.

The Perils of Public Restrooms

Bathroom Anthology Piece

The Perils of Public Restrooms

By Melanie E.

I don't know if this will show up publicly or not, but this is my (quick and dirty) submission for the Bathroom Anthology. Admins, contact me if changes are needed.

On Magically Changing Genders

On Magically Changing Genders

Poof! You’ve just magically changed genders. What’s next? Well, what happens next can vary a lot, depending on a number of factors. (For the purposes of this essay, we will only deal with male to female transformations). First, did you want this to happen? If you were a typical guy, and happy being one, this transformation represents the biggest challenge of your life.

Words Of The Witty Twit

Words Of The Witty Twit
By BillieBob
A poem of love, passion, and pain from a truly demented mind in the wee hours of the morning. Before one's daily medication. (WAAH HOO!) Psst! Beware, of the dark side Luke.

On Cross-Dressing and TG

On Cross-dressing and Transgender

There are, in my opinion, a number of levels to cross-dressing and transgendered tendencies. (For the sake of this essay, I will only deal with Male to Female, mostly because that’s the side I know best).

On grief

On Grief

Life is full of disappointments. - some of these are very large - our trust is betrayed, our innocence is taken from us, our lives are forever altered. Some might seem small to an outsider but still wound us deeply, even if we do not admit that wound to ourselves. Each disappointment changes us, and our view of the world and ourselves is forced to take a detour that we never expected.

Sex-Linked Anatomical Influences On Locomotion (Why We Walk Different!)

Sex-Linked Anatomical Influences On Locomotion

or, Why Men And Women Walk Different

That men and women walk differently has been the subject of much amusement in popular culture. But, from watching how men and women interact on the streets in cities, it's also apparent that something as simple as walking is likely part of the mating ritual, whether by sending signals in consciously or unconsciously displaying ourselves, or in appreciating the assets on display. As such, it's fair to assume that there are large amounts of peer pressure and social conformity at work.

Anyone who's read my first posted non-fiction story, the one of my first public outing "dressed," will remember the comedy I encountered in my own body, suddenly unable to walk on the sidewalk in heels, despite the fact that I was able to spend hours in my own home moving easily around. My "muscle memory" kicked in, sending me lurching around like a broken robot. It was kind of a wake-up call that got me to thinking about the differences in how men and women walk.

Coulda Been... Indian Summer

And now... well, go look at my blog. The one titled, 'Fred,' that is.

Coulda Been... Indian Summer
by Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Note: This is dedicated to the memory of Fredrick Dale Lakey.
My Favorite Uncle.
11 August 1954 - 4 March 2009.

This didn't happen. The real story is less proactive, but really... this is what might have been in different circumstances. There's a kernel of the relationships at work here, but...

Coulda Been... Week's End

As usual, death around me gets me to thinking about how things Coulda Been... so, I've got two more for you all to look at now. You probably were expecting one, but I found myself with two in me. Sorry about that. Up side is that these two aren't as anchored in real-world kernels as the others. More like things that Coulda eventually happened and just never did. Well, here's one not-so-raw, first...

Coulda Been... Week's End
by Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Note: This is dedicated to the memory of John Lee Galyen.
My Dad (Stepfather).
2 September 1951 - 21 April 2006.

This didn't happen. The real story is less proactive, but really... this is what might have been in different circumstances. There's a kernel of the relationships at work here, but...

The Time My Pain Went Away

You can live with a lot of pain if it creeps up on you over a long time, so slowly that you have time to get used to it and don't even notice it's gradually getting worse and worse. You can live with a lot of pain if it's always been there and you've never known anything different. Then one day, for one reason or another, it goes away for a little while. And when it comes back, you realize you can't live with it anymore.

Coulda Been... For Christmas

I would very much like to think I would find a point in which I had no more of these fantasies "in me" as it were. Unfortunately, I don't think that time will come anytime soon, so I'll continue to contribute these almost memories as necessary.

Coulda Been... For Christmas
by Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Note: This is dedicated to the memory of George Morse.
My Grandfather.

This didn't happen. The real story is less proactive, but really... this is what might have been in different circumstances. There's a kernel of the relationships at work here, but...


Subscribe to Essay