With assistance from Merior!

Late one morning, A and B went testing.
Having lost track of time while empesting.
It felt very good,
As she ground on his wood,
So they missed the red moon while cresting!

News soon went 'round the 'hood.
That they played with their pud.
And they were investing
In materials for nesting,
As A did what a responsible man should.

Sapphire has an itcy trigger finger when I'm in the way, for some reason. No matter what we play she finds a way to blow me up or take my head off. F R I E N D S H I P.

Captions:

Panel 1:
Lari: "Hey uh... Sapph? A little help!?"

Panel 2:
Sapphire: "SHIT! Uh... SORRY!!"

Actual conversations with my girlfriend, Tresenella.

Captions:

Panel 1:
Lari: "Crud, I don't know if I've taken my meds today. What's the worst that'll happen if I take double?"
Tress: "I don't know. Double boobies?"

Panel 2:
Gem: "What would be better? Twice the size, or four boobs?"

Let's just say my closet door was made of thin cellophane or transparent glass...

Captions:

Panel 1:
Lari: "I wasn't THAT obvious in high school, was I?"

Panel 2:
Pointing to all the OBVIOUS things about her being trans in high school, like: The hair all the way down her back, the obvious bra strap, and the boymoder hoodie.

Please take the time to listen to Tresenella's newest single, My Darling Honey. The theme for our collective works about a bunch of gay and trans bugs living their lives. She does unbelievable work on the art for all of my stories, it'd mean the world to me if you supported her other music too.

You can listen basically everywhere on your preferred store.

• Spotify 

2 Years Ago

38 Years Before the Fall of Hybra

Freedom, oh freedom I was longing for you
Sitting alone in the dark, feeling so blue.
Pretending to be someone I didn't even know.
Stopping me from ever being able to grow.

Freedom, oh freedom what a crazy concept to think about.
I have been working hard to find you, feeling almost burnt out.
I was worried I will never find you, feeling empty inside.
I felt like staying in the dark, which was my only place to hide.

Just an amusing conceit

.

“And for your third wish: ABRACADABRA! Congratulations, Madame Secretary!”

“MADAM?! You turned me into a woman!”

“A woman who runs the U.S. Department of Commerce; The job you wished for.”

The shadows masked the room . Silence was unbreakable . Then it was heard a slow creeeeeeking then a thump . My eyes struggled to see my pupils wide to accept what little light there was . Creeeeeeek thump my mind was whirling in fear . Crreeeeek thump creeeek thump . IT WAS COMING UP THE STAIRS! CREEEK thump CREEK thump . it was at my door ! i dove under the covers shaking then peaking out to see the door handle sllloooowwwwly turn......... CLICK the door opened................ there it was looking at me staring at me ........ with a leap it was on me .........

When I was young and innocent, I believed in Santa with all my heart.
He was good to me.

When I became older and not so innocent, I decided he didn't exist.
And yet he was still good to me.

And when I became a parent with little innocent ones of my own I realized
I was Santa, and life is good.

The Second Wave

A man stood in the surf watching the waves come in. He saw a large wave approaching, planted his feet firmly, took on a boxer's stance, and waited. The wave broke and crashed over him.

"Hey Bob, I mean Bobbi, I've meant to ask, you were a fitness nut before you became a girl, do you still work out?"

"Oh yes, I want to keep my figure. But I learned the value of a sports bra after I tried jumping jacks."

"Bru, love, you're up doll. Beat this!"
          -- BarbieLee

I took the liberty of accepting the challenge issued to Bru.

I wish I had dreamt up this piece, but this prayer originated from neither my pen nor my mind. I remember it doing the rounds many years ago, and I thought it worth sharing in an updated form. I wish to make it clear that I have no special axe to grind with any of the individuals mentioned. My personal list would be much longer and include every politician of every stripe on the planet, but by all means feel free to amend the list or append to it with politicians or others of your choice. As far as I am aware it always was unattributed, but if you are the individual who originated the piece, one I dip my knees to you, and two please let me know so I can credit you with its creation properly. In gratitude, Eolwaen.

Just a non canon side story i thought up. Acctually its a little true up to a point.

[sample text]

Just a little mental wandering and stuff.

Nate was eating dinner with his sister, and began complaining about the girls in his school. “They’re all thots,” he said. “They all post like borderline nudes on their instagrams and vscos.”
“Why are you making such a broad generalization?” asked his sister Jessica. “It’s honestly very rude.” They argued for a while before Jessica said something that completely put Nate off guard. “Why are you so obsessed?” she asked.

“I don’t know, it just pisses me off I guess.”

“OMG, are you jealous of them?! Do you want to be a slutty girl?”

I created a new keyword (in the Other Keywords box.) All are welcome to use "Bathroom Foibles."

Martha walked into the lady's room. Red in the face, she immediately left.

"May I help you, ma'am?" the help desk clerk asked.

"Where is the lady's room? I thought I was going into the right one, but there are urinals!" she said while crossing her legs and looking decidedly uncomfortable.