Appliances Attached

I Can't Breathe.

Rob can't breathe and even as young as he is life seems to be closing in really hard.
Until he's given a chance, a very odd chance to get away from everything closing in an maybe find some breathing room.

In Moderation

Today at CosmiCon Justin will have the chance to fulfill his fantasy of cosplaying Duchess Immensia of 'Tachyon Dynasty' fame with his wife Sarah accompanying him as her loyal sidekick Nanoboy. How will the daring duo fare against the convention crowds?

Jem...Chapter 131

Jem…Chapter 131

I don’t know exactly how many times I’ve done this now but it’s sort of the whole tradition to do *Brian Wilson* By The Bare Naked Ladies on the second half of the Tuesday show it’s not actually a lot but it sort of seems like it’s been that and not in a bad way but in like this song is an old friend.

I love the “Tuesday night…!”
I love the “Record shop…!”
I love the “Call it compulsive, call it impulsive, call it insane…oh-Oh!”

Sara, Becka, and me. - Chapter 11

 

Sara, Becka, and me.
by Teddie S.

 

Chapter XI
The Second Week
Saturday morning - The Beauty Shop
Saturday afternoon - The Wedding

 
Today’s the big day. Well Linda’s big day. Yesterday we met the guys that we’re paired with for the wedding. The rehearsal went well, and the dinner afterwards was fun. But, jealousy reared its ugly head for the first time in our relationship. But, was quickly put to rest.

Sara, Becka, and me. - Chapter 10

 

Sara, Becka, and me.
by Teddie S.

 

Chapter X
The Second Week
Friday - Oh no! & The Rehearsal
Friday Evening - The Rehearsal Dinner

 
Well, my nails are now long and very fancy. And, we’re at West Point. And, so far so good. Everyone is still seeing me as girl. The wedding is tomorrow. And, I wonder if Linda is as nervous as I am. And, about last night, . . .

Sara, Becka, and me. - Chapter 9

 

Sara, Becka, and me.
by Teddie S.

 

Chapter IX
The Second Week
Wednesday - Nails
Thursday - A Trip

 
Well, I’ve met the other bride’s maids, and it went well. I think that they were all shocked when they first met me, and full of questions. But, I was quickly accepted as one of the girls. And, one of them even said, “You should have been born a girl.” Why do some people feel that way? Oh well, I don’t.

My breast forms are now attached, and it has provided me with an interesting insight on what it might be like to have breasts. I’m glad that mine will come off.

The wedding is this Saturday, and I’m really getting nervous. If the wrong people find out about me, this wedding isn’t going to be good.

Sara, Becka, and me. - Chapter 8

 

Sara, Becka, and me.
by Teddie S.

 

Chapter VIII
The Second Week
Monday - Dresses and the Girls
Tuesday - Some Glue

 
Last week was really a roller coaster. On Saturday when I woke up I was a typical geeky boy. And, now I look more like a pretty teenaged girl. I even talk like a girl, act like a girl, and walk like a girl. Being a cross-dresser at heart, I was in heaven. And, everyone in my family and my girlfriend’s family accept this. That’s everyone in my family except for my brother. And, that was a major downer.

I’m also going to be a bride’s maid in my girlfriend Sara’s sister’s wedding. A very big wedding. This was all because one of the bride’s maids had backed out at the last minute, and they couldn’t find anyone to fill in. But, me.

Well, lets see where this goes.

Ragnarok Shorts: Tales From The Spellbinder Universe

Ragnarok_shorts.jpg
In a world where magic reigns
supreme, identity and
gender can be as fluid as the
forces of nature. A mad
scientist, a transgender
woman who has become
involved with a radical
revolutionist group, a goddess
of mischief, a supplicant to an
inexperienced goddess, and a
young apprentice; each
person's life takes a strange
and unexpected twist as
elemental forces reshape
their existence.

Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 17

*Before….Angeline

I remember looking around and seeing just him and me and then my strength went out and I fell.
I thought that I was dying as the battleknight walked towards me shining in the sunlight.
Light brown enameled plates trimmed with brass and with some very old fashioned designs to it and the coat of arms a bears head and swords in gold on a shield with red as the color for the field.
The rig, the battleknight looked old but the coat of arms looks new…gold leaf? It was shiny.
The rig cage opened and this man jumped out and he was wearing brigandine armor and a woolen cloak that he took off and wrapped around me. He had long wild and unruly curly brown hair kissed with sun fade and this thick but not too long beard to match.
He pressed a skin to my lips and water had never tasted so good.
“I saw the light lady what happened.”
(Coughing.) “Lyonnes…it’s fallen, I was sent here by a friend…an aunt.”
“Lady Blackhand.”
I nodded.
“And you would be lady?”
(Coughing.) “Angeline…Angeline Lyonnes….eldest daughter…”
He looked surprised and maybe a little frowny?
“King Wyatt Braithe my lady, your husband to be.”
And that’s when I fainted again.

Masks Chapter 43

*Before...

I’m like… “Guys…boo, I’m not a guy.”

And she’s like…. “I know. It’s like just a figure of speech y’know.”

Mary Jane snerks… “Like y’know…totally just a saying.”

We all burst out laughing and giggling and we sort of kick our legs and shout. “Toa..tal..ly!”

Then we hear Becky’s dad. “What the fuck was that?”

Not like angry like but like he’s got no clue.

And we were silent for a second before we all burst out laughing.

It was such this whole cool space of time because the lights, the three of us, this whole tight girls together thing and it’s us so close together and holding hands and just being three girls.

And it feels good.

It feels weightless.

Vanilla Sky…Part 10. The Finale

*Before…

Liz smiles at me and she shows me what to do with my coat and my purse and the waiter comes back. “What can I get you ladies?’
Ladies….wow…that felt really good.
And not just the recognition or maybe not getting recognized but this is…I’m out on a girls lunch just like those women I’d watch doing the same for so long and now it’s me.
I get the soup of the day and a small garden salad and Liz gets the same and the canapé small tray for us too and she orders two glasses of sparkling cider.
I look at her when it comes and she passes me one and I take it. “You’re too young for a champagne lunch Sam so it’s this and ginger ale for now.” She smiles and she does the chink glasses and toast thing. “To your first day.”
We clink glasses and I blush and I take a little breath and look her in the eyes. “Thanks Mom, thanks for all of this.”
I called her mom and I really, really meant it.

Masks Chapter 42

*Before…

He looks at Dad and they guyshake and there’s that tactile Guylepathy going on between them as they’re doing whatever mysterious thing that Men do when greeting and accessing other men.
I’m like lost about that because hockey or not all I’ve ever really been every able to do is like fake it.
And almost like he read my mind…Becky’s Dad looks at me and then at my dad.
“I thought you just had boys.”

Secondhand Life - Part 25

The backstage area at the Dolby Theater was pandemonium. Or so I thought.

As I looked around, it was actually organized chaos... it was like a living thing.. each frenzied cell a part of the greater whole. I checked in at the stage door and was quickly picked up by my 'handlers' who were well briefed on Katherine's role in this massively choreographed event.

Unconventional Chapter 1

Tommy has the chance to get out from under for the summer and go to a gaming convention and spend the summer with a friend. A chance encounter with a cool girl unlocks secrets held back from everyone else, even ones they were keeping from themselves.

For Friends and Family Part 24


For Friends and Family Part 24 – All White and Black?

Nicky and Amy.jpg

For Friends and Family. Andy is looking for a new challenge, his current girlfriends sister has suffered a nervous break down, Andy is very similar in both size and looks, agrees to be changed into a Nichola look alike.
This is a dream for Andy who has a secret desire to live and work as a woman.

**************************

For Friends and Family Part 23


For Friends and Family Part 23
Plans and Love

Nicky and Amy.jpg

For Friends and Family. Andy is looking for a new challenge, his current girlfriends sister has suffered a nervous break down, Andy is very similar in both size and looks, agrees to be changed into a Nichola look alike.
This is a dream for Andy who has a secret desire to live and work as a woman.

Masks Chapter 41

Masks Chapter 41

Chapter 41

*Before…

I look at her. “We can come with.”

She looks nervous. “You guys don’t have to.”

I look at her and slip over and give her a hug. “Hey it’ll be okay it’ll give everyone two targets instead of like one.”

Mary Jane says. “Three, safety in numbers from the whole parental scrutiny thing, cause that happens when they start talking.”

She bites her lip and she nods. “Okay.”

I smile my own little shaky smile. “Besides I kinda gotta go, I want to kind of have people like actually meet me before Halloween.”

“What’s going on with Halloween?”

“Uhm…I’m coming out.”

Okay Becky’s jaw drop was worth it.

For Friends and Family Part 22

For Friends and Family Part 22
The Plot Thickens

Nicky and Amy.jpg

For Friends and Family. Andy is looking for a new challenge, his current girlfriends sister has suffered a nervous break down, Andy is very similar in both size and looks, agrees to be changed into a Nichola look alike.
This is a dream for Andy who has a secret desire to live and work as a woman.

A Walk in the Park

A Walk in the Park Cover.jpg

I tied my shoes and hid the secret cargo in my backpack then locked the door behind me. I could see the entrance to the park in the distance as I started my hike. Memories of a lifetime filled my thoughts.

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 25

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 25

*Before…

“You don’t seem like the sort of girl that’d be a fake friend even in stealth mode. This is why we still need to work Sarah…it’s still there, it surfaced in medical Imaging at least partway in a flashback.”

(Sniffle.) “This sucks.”

“Yeah, it does but you’re going to get through it.”

(Sniffle.) “I am?”

She points past my shoulder and Dad’s there in his jeans and his jacket and he’s giving me this look, it’s that kind of sort of look that you’d honestly only get if you were someone’s kid.

Yep more tears.

He comes over and he slides onto the bed and he puts his arm around my shoulder and he pulls me close and I sort of turn so I can hug him and hold onto him and start to cry.

“I love you Sarah, honestly and truly kiddo…and I will get you through this.”

His arms tighten and it’s suddenly me safe with my Dad.

Yep…sooo crying right now.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 24

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 24

*Before…

It’s an hour and a half past visiting hours by the time we’re done watching the movies and we’re all yawning and stretching and stuff and we head downstairs to leave or rather they are and I walk them downstairs mostly to get the aches from the bed and sitting for so long out and stuff.

We hug and promise to talk online and stuff later and I watch them get into their cars and stuff.

Danny has his license apparently and he’s driving this old, really old cutlass cruiser station wagon…that’s Oldsmobile I think it’s such a beater but it kind of suits him.

Sigh…What a really, really good night.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 23

Hopscotch… A Jump Through Life 23

*Before…

I hear some clapping from the doorway and I look up to see Danny and Jo-Beth with some bags of stuff. And Danny’s grinning and he looks different than his pictures but not, he’s beefed up some since a lot of them by like maybe ten or fifteen pounds of like muscle by the looks of his arms and he’s got a haircut too.

And Jo-Beth who’s clapping all happy like is well…she’s short like five four but she’s got longer hair than her pictures sort of show on her Facebook page and she’s really curvy too like with the sexy hips and she has these really huge boobs.

And I’m kind of feeling a little shy and stuff and I’m biting my lower lip a little and stuff.

“Hey…you guys came.”

Danny grins holding up a big take out bag from MacDonald’s. “And I brought ice cream.”

Kaitlyn squees. “Yay Ice Cream!”

Wow Danny…he looks at her and he looks like he was kind of just hit by a truck.

(Giggles)

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 22

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 22

*Before…

Mom takes Dad’s hand and she kisses him and she leads him out of my room and I look at Kaitlyn and she sort of blushes under the scrutiny and bites her lower lip a little and we sort of do that intense stare at each other thing before the tears are building up in my eyes and I start to cry and…

“Thank you, thank you for just like dropping your life and coming…” (Sniffle.)

She gives me that head tilty really light up the day kind of pretty smile and she reaches up and she thumbstrokes some of the tears that are starting away from my face.

I’m happy crying still some and just emotionally crying too and I’m shaking a little because I’ve never had anyone do that to me before and my brain’s in like good shock?

“You’re my friend Sarah of course I’d come.”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 21

Hopscotch… A Jump in Life 21

*Before…

It was sort of scary dealing with them and at the same time it was just all sorts of cool.

He has Mom sign the stuff for charges to be pressed if and when they can and he leaves with the police officer.

The town police officer was kind of quiet, I’m not sure what he was thinking or if it was like about me or me being trans or not. I really couldn’t tell and I don’t know if that’s just me in my head or it’s just a police thing.

I sigh and double hand hold my coffee as they’re done and Mom and Dr. Johansson are looking at me. “You want to go for a walk and clear out the ughs from all of this?”

I take a breath and a sip then nod. “I think so, okay let’s go.”

Mom slips her arm around my back and we head out to do a few rounds round the hospital with her and my therapist.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 20

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 20

*Before…

They all kind of are gone after that and I’m kind of just sitting there wiping the odd tear leaking out of kind of like relief. There’s some more answers and there’s people that kind of sort of know me and stuff but more importantly they want to know me.
Sarah me…Well I think I mean that they mean me; the whole thing was on Shawn’s page and all.
And Adam…wow…Shawn stood at least for something.
I really can’t like see me being brave though, crazing and wanting to get hurt maybe but brave?
Though it’s kind of nice to know that Shawn wasn’t like an ass to people.
And I am tired…and tomorrow is likely going to be a busy day and things.
I wipe at my eyes again and power down and close my laptop and try and get comfortable and get some sleep before Mom or the staff show up for stuff tomorrow.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 19

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 19

*Before…

“Yes, if that’s the rumors that you’ve been hearing then it’s true. I’m transgender. I always have been but with most of everything that was Shawn kind of broken and gone now there was all of this stuff that I was hiding from all of you and my family and yeah really likely myself.”

Well that’s done.

I go back to looking through my Facebook and going through old posts and shares and even looking into the accounts of the people that I have on my friends lists and what they’ve been acting like or saying and stuff.

Maybe there’s some people that I can talk to, some that might talk to me.

But those other three…they’re not friends so yeah…Blocking…Banhammer time.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 18

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 18

*Before…

And now…now I have what happens after a girl is done crying.

I’m hurt.

I’m hurt and I’m angry.

I get out of the shower and I dry off and glare at myself a few moments in the mirror before going and getting my things, dry underwear and change and dry there…eyes hard…jaw clenched through that.

Then I get my tablet and start playing tunes…Pink…angry stuff girl power kind of stuff and I start looking at myself in the mirror and take out my make-up and with a breath and leaning on the sink gripping it in a sort of eff-you to all of them I start doing my face.

“Fuck you…fuck you all (Angry sniffle.) I’m going to be who I am…and you’ll have to just deal with it.”

I’m going to do this, and keep doing this until I’m good at it, better than good at it.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 17

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 17

*Before…

We eat and watch Stardust on my laptop since apparently it was in the DVD drive as if that wasn’t like telling and even the parents raised an eyebrow at that and made me blush and soon after that they have to head home with their actual RL stuff going on and everything like work and Dad has a long drive to go and get Nova…Uhm Kaitlyn tomorrow and me…well I start going through my laptop trying to figure out just exactly what Shawn was like and where Sarah was hiding in all of the stuff here.

It’s thanks to password saves on my Firefox that I get into Shawn’s Facebook and E-mails.

Oh…that was a mistake.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 16

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 16

*Before…

“Yes and if you can do without your mom and I for a while tomorrow we’re going to drive down and pick her up so we can actually meet her parents instead of talking to them on the phone and online.”
I can’t help it but I end up hugging him and he hugs me back.
And there it is the sniffles. (Sniffle.) “You guys are awesome, you sure it’s okay?”
He gives me a bit of a tighter squeeze that sort of sets off what the Doc just said about all of the stuff that they must have gone through with me and everything. It really, really means a whole hell of a lot that he and that she cares so much.
That he’s hugging me like hugging me is special.
……me…special.
Y’know it’s one of those visceral feelings more than anything else but it feels like feeling like I’m special was something that was pretty far removed from my life before this.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 15

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 15

*Before…
She heads back into the office and I look at Mom and Dad. “One of my friends wants to come here and visit and that might mean that she’ll be staying at our place if she’s allowed to…so…can she come over?”
Dad and Mom look at each other and Dad says. “We need to talk to her parent’s first kiddo.”
I nod. “I have their contact info here.”
I bring it up and show Dad who writes it down and he smiles. “Going to Tim’s you want anything?”
“A double-double?”
“Okay.”
He leaves and Mom stays and I hug her then I knock on the Doc’s office door then head inside to set her up with her own LJ account.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 14

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 14

*Before…

I actually journal that last bit as a kinda sorts update and then I sent out some PM’s to the people on my friends list.
“Uhm Hey everyone this is Sarah, I’m kind of in a bind and stuff. I’ve got a psychiatrist and she sorta seems alright but it’s still scaring me and everything really bad. See she wants to see this, all of this stuff here on my LJ because it’s the only stuff of me that I have that is any record of me…I mean I don’t really have Shawn-time as me to go by as stuff that happened before in my life.”
“I think, I think I have to do this which means I’ll be friending her to my LJ page here and that there will be a Shrink and an Adult here listening in and stuff.”
“Goddamn it, that scares the shit out of me.”
“If you all need to block or unfriend me to like feel safe and all I get it, it’s really my deal and my bullshit that this is all about and stuff…no judgment from here if you need to bail.”
“But I think, I think that I need to do this.”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 13

Hopscotch… A Jump in Life 13

*Before…

Dad comes in and to the rescue with two of those flannel sheets from the heated thing he wraps one around Mom and he does this big hug and hold thing for her like he’s squeezing her back together and she grips his forearm like she’s hanging onto him…(Sniffle-wow…) and he unfolds it and sets it on the back of my chair and the heat…oh god it feels so good and there’s this relief-care-sob that comes out and Dad gives me this big hug not a hard one but just big and he holds me a few moments before kissing the top of my head.

“Breathe Kiddo, Breathe…it’s just a test, just an arbitrary thing it’s not you. It’s not a big thing.”

Breathe and breathe…oh…I can seriously breathe now…

(Sniffle.) “Thanks Dad, Thanks for the spoons.”

*And Now…

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