They say that when the people we care about turn their backs on us, it can trigger "an episode" that can lead to such an attempt.
Matthew wouldn't speak to me today. Every time he saw me he turned around and went the other direction.
I looked for him after Aca-Deca practice to see if we could talk. He wasn't there. Mom was. I've been in my room since we got home.
I guess this is the part where I say, "Goodbye, cruel world!" or some such, huh? It's not fair. I didn't ask to be born like this. It's not as if anyone would choose to be a freak, to be someone that can never fall in love and be loved in return. I just want... I want a chance to talk to my BOYFRIEND -- there, see? I have a boyfriend. I want to be his girlfriend. I want...
I wish that I was Goober's Girl, just one last time...
Ugh.
I don't know what to do. I mean, I know Mom has that bottle of pills under her stockings in her underwear drawer. I just want to make it stop hurting. Why can't I just be me? Why does my own Grandma hate me so much?
I'm going to call Jennifer.
She thinks I'm being stupid. Great. So now I don't have a boyfriend, and my best friend thinks I'm stupid, and my Grandma hates me, and ...
I just keep thinking about that movie line...
It's not fair!
I don't want to hurt anymore.
Something's going on downstairs...
Courtney