wishing I had someone to hold me while I shake
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The worst part of not being in a relationship right now? Not having someone to hold me while I shake during a PTSD moment.
They're scary sometimes, and hurt all the time, and I ache afterward, but the worst part is going through them alone, when all you want is someone to put their arms around you so you can feel safe.
I love my online friends, and I'm super grateful for their support, and I've been pretty lucky at finding someone to talk to when things have been bad, but I ache sometimes for a pair of actual arms around me, holding me and supporting me.
Ah, well.