Dorothy Colleen

I'm gonna need all you guys to help me

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you may or may not remember that a few years ago there was a documentary called "super size me" in which a man decided to eat nothing but Big Mac hamburgers for a year. In the documentary, the man's doctor begs him to stop half-way through the year because of the damage he was doing to his organs.

Well, I am in basically the same situation as that guy.

I have been told in no uncertain terms I have to change my eating habits and my lifestyle, or I wont have either style or life, or at the least I'll be unable to enjoy what life I have.

I dont know how not to fight

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When I was little, I had this rather bad habit of trying to lecture bullies on why it was bad to bully. Of course, that usually resulted in me getting pounded, me running for my life, or my brother trying his best to protect me.

All these years later, I still jump in when I see people getting hurt, even though there is nothing I can do except lecture people from behind my computer, and it has cost me more than I would like.

But I dont know how not to fight for what I think is right.

In Pathfinder terms, I guess I'm a Paladin, whether I want to be or not ...

E-Girl: The Gift Chapter 3

E-Girl: The Gift Chapter 3

Author’s note; This is the conclusion of this little adventure. I hope you all like it. After completing 2 chapters of this story, I suddenly realized I hadn’t shown what E-girl has been up to. And since this story is named for her, I should correct that ...

At the home of Debra Cain, A.K.A. “E-girl”



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Birthdays have always been a bit strange for me. Growing up, it never worked out for people to be available on the actual day, so if I wanted a party, it would always have to happen a couple of days later, to the point I started joking about "unbirthdays" like in the cartoon version of Alice in Wonderland.

Usually the actual day of my birthday was a quiet one spent alone, and this year is no exception.

I dont mind so much now, especially since I do get nice messages online from friends to keep me company.

Oh, if you havent guessed, today is my birthday ...

Staycation escape

Staycation Escape

Staycation contest entry

Sometimes, you dont have to go away to escape.

Or at least, I didn’t. My “staycation” gave me all the escape I needed.

It happened the summer I turned 16. My mother and stepfather announced they were going to take a holiday as a delayed honeymoon since they hadnt taken one when they had gotten married, and my brother, who had just graduated high school was taking advantage of camp that was free, and would also be gone for most of a month.

a huge compliment

I saw this amazing compliment on a blog here: "Dorothy is not just a great soul but has one of the most inventive storytelling minds on this site. Her Chekovian economy with words means a whole lot of story with very little investment of time. "


I'm ... stunned, and flattered.

Thanks Laika (aka Veronica) !

who taught me to apologize for liking things?

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I was having a conversation with my brother today and was talking about "life without people" which is this fascinating show, and then I apologized for going on about it.

Now, I'm wondering why I was apologizing.

Who taught me that my interests weren't important enough to share?

Sighs ...

writing update

Just wanted to pass along an update on my writing.

"E-Girl - the gift" - work in progress, I'm hoping this weekend to maybe get close to finishing the final chapter.

Staycation story: work in progress, should be finished or close to by the time the contest opens

Pathfinder story: gotten started, gonna be a while.

"The secret of M.Y.T.H.": kinda stuck. hoping for inspiration

"Jaci and Dottie go to Whately": started. we'll see how this one goes.

"Branded": Stuck. I need a mastermind character. any suggestions appreciated.

Father's day is kinda weird for me.

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Father's day is always kinda weird for me.

I lost my dad so young I dont remember him, and my stepdad was a horrible abusive person I could never call "dad".

But my mom did her best for me, my brother protected me, and my grandfather gave me a positive role model for men.

Then there is the fact that I am a father, even though I have felt more like a girl than a boy for 90 % of my life, and have finally embraced and integrated that girl into myself and let her become the woman she should have always had been.

Like I said, Father's day is weird for me ...

snakes and ladders

Just wanted to give a shout-out to Bailey Summers' "Snakes and Ladders".

Its an unapologetically romantic story, originally started in honor of one of our late writers here, Wren Phoenix. It has a few references to sexual abuse in one of the early chapters, but otherwise, its been a sweet story with elves, dragons, and much more.

here is a link to the title page, should you wish to try it out:

Sam had her grad tonight

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Well, my mom and I went to my daughter Samantha's graduation ceremony tonight, and it was pretty good. Sam is recovering nicely from her surgery, and looked very beautiful in her grad dress.

But, Sharon decided to introduce me to the other parents at our table as "Sam's Dad. He wears women's clothes, but is a good person anyway."

I believe my response showed my level of sophistication and maturity.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

Ah well, it was a good night regardless.

I'm Glued

I’m glued

(with apologies to Eiffel 65)

Yo listen up
Here’s the story
About a little guy
That lives in a glue world
And all day and all night
Everything he sees is
Just glued
To him inside, and outside
Glued in a dress
Glued to some high heels too
And glued to a corset
And everything is glued
Including his breasts
And he sings to himself
Cause he aint got nobody to listen ..


“I’m glued ...

I might be getting a makeover Saturday

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when I first started my transition, I went to the Bay (a Canadian version of Walmart, without the low prices, for those who dont know) and got some makeup tips and supplies. Well, its umm ... some years later, and I am going to be doing something like that again, this time with an actual goal in mind - to look as close to pretty as I am capable for a concert, or at least that's my plan.

Dont know if an opportunity will present itself for me to take a photo, but if it does, I'll share it ...

By the rivers of Babylon, Chapter 3

By the rivers of Babylon, Chapter 3

Author's note: Sorry this took so long, and sorry its so short. Hope you guys like it anyway.

Five people were looking at a goddess in shock, but eventually, they found their voices.

“I didnt do anything.” Richard replied.

“Neither did I” Don chimed in.

“Actually, you did much more than you think. Let me show you.” the goddess replied.

She waved her hand, and they saw the past ...


It started the same as the dream we had all shared.

overdoing it, and paying for it

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last couple of days my brother and I have been trying to do yardwork, pulling out the dandelions so then we can trim the grass. Its sad, but my brother who had knee surgery not that long ago, is still on street drug levels of painkillers, and has little or no cartilage in any of his joints, is actually in better shape than I am.

I'm in pain, exhausted but unable to sleep, and its setting off PTSD, dysphoria, and depression.

Sighs ... this too shall pass, I suppose ...

you could have knocked me over with a feather

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okay so yesterday Sharon needed me to drive her to the vet because her cat was having problems. While we were waiting, she starts this conversation about her church, and says she thinks they are a little too quick to pull out judgement.

Then she says she was also guilty of this in dealing with my desire to transition. She said while she doesnt really understand it, or like it, she felt she had been more negative towards me about it than I deserved, and she apologized.

honestly, you could have knocked me over with a feather ...

another day, another PTSD attack

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So not one of my better days yesterday. After dealing with 30 degree Celsius heat, I went to go on the chat site only to be given some error message. After panicking and leaving a message here, i eventually tried the obvious -reboot and log back in, and it worked. With that little problem solved, I decided I needed to go see a movie, and went to Deadpool 2.

I really wanted to have something for you soon

I thought I had solved my block on the final chapter of "By the rivers of Babylon", but unfortunately, a really bad PTSD attack last night has left me with no spoons for writing. And if I dont get it done by the middle of next week, well, I'm gonna be a tad busy with my daughter going in for surgery on Wednesday.

Sorry ...

make of this what you will ...

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Okay, so I've had bad dreams, and sad dreams, and searching dreams, but I dont think I have ever had a dream quite like the dream I had last night.

I was with my brother at a mall, when I suddenly caught a look at my own reflection.

And there was a beautiful woman in the mirror.

I mean she was fantastic looking!

I wasnt sure if I should say something or not, I just kept finding reasons to look for reflective surfaces to try and confirm what I was seeing.

Make of this what you will ...

got a double boost today

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okay, so anyone following this blog knows the last while has not been very good for me.

Today kinda made up for it.

First, it was a hot day, so I decided to break out a skirt for the first time this year, and while I was out walking the dog, an elderly lady complimented me on my outfit, making me blush.

Then, tonight, I took Sharon and Samantha to a pizza place for supper, and as I got out of the car, Samantha remarked on the skirt, suggesting that I might want shorts under it in case a breeze blew it up, and Sharon agreed.

not in a good place

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well, I think I spoke too soon about my depression lifting. I'm in a bad place where the only relief I seem to get from sadness is just being numb.

Worse, my writing has dried up, leaving me without one of my major outlets for dealing with crap.

I'm sorry to have to ask, but all hugs, prayers, or positives about me are appreciated.

By the rivers of Babylon, chapter 2

By the rivers of Babylon

Chapter 2
Author's note: Sorry this has taken so long. You might need to re-read chapter 1 first ...

Richard went digging for Don Ford’s contact information, as well as the last number he had for Mitch Woodward. By the time Anne had finished making breakfast, he was on the phone with Don Ford, and discovered that Don and his wife Linda had both had the same dream as well, and all of them felt the urge ... the need ...

To go back to the desert.

some good news about my daughter

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I got some good news about my daughter. I found out that she has been accepted to go to a continuing education program specially set up for handicapped people post grade 12.

They will focus on combining academics with life skills, and it will go for two years.

I'm very proud of her.

Pathfinder: "The Trio": A trio becomes a quartet (plus one)

Pathfinder: The Trio: A trio becomes a quartet (plus one)

Author’s note: Yep, I’m still doing this one. But this might be the last, I dont know.

The four adventurers followed the river upstream, slowly gaining elevation as they did so.

As the day waned, Goruza and Emerald allowed Star and Champ to graze, while Milah sent her wolf Ajax off into the woods to hunt, and Tamarie went to the river to catch some fish for supper.

magic blood pressure spikes

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Do you guys remember the dancing frog from the Warner Brother's cartoons?

Well, I've been having blood pressure spikes that seem to be doing the same thing - I see it at home, but they disappear as soon as my doctor checks me.

So my doctor has ordered a special bp test, to see if we can figure out what the heck is going on ...

a most unusual dream

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I had a really unusual dream last night. I dreamed that I was back in university, but this time I was Dorothy. Not only that, I had this ... confidence about stuff I dont normally have in real life. Even people who reacted negatively to me were dismissed in my mind except to report them to a university official.

Not sure what that means ...


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