Dorothy Colleen

Skater Grl

Skater Grl

It started as a joke.

I’d always loved skating, and I soon was good enough that my coach partnered me with a girl named Kate and we began training as a pair, doing what’s called ice dancing.

Kate was also pretty good, and we clicked right away - at least on the ice.

Off the ice, Kare made it clear she thought of me as more of a brother than a potential romantic partner, and even though I was a bit disappointed, I was too happy with our progress as a team to kick too hard.

dream time again

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dream time again. I dreamed I was in a classroom and was getting frustrated because I couldnt make head or tails of the assignment I was given, It got so bad I started to wonder why I was in the class at all, when the class was sent out to a outdoor stage to watch a performance. I started to enjoy myself, but then I saw down the hill from the the stage a building was collapsing, soon gigantic pieces of marble and rock were flying up the hill at us. A large rock fell right in front of me, but I was able to push a little, and then climbed it.

what if this is the end?

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It has been long enough since I wrote anything that I'm starting to wonder if this is the end for me. 10 years of publishing almost every month is a pretty high rate, so a slowdown isnt that bad, but this feels less like a slowdown and more like a complete stop.

ah well, I can still read and comment I guess ...

tough day

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so a very stressful day. Was running errands with my ex, and first I had an anxiety attack and had to go sit in the car for a bit. Then while we were just about done, we got a phone call saying my ex's best friend's mom had been in a car accident not far away. We went to see how she was, and although not hurt, she was clearly in shock. Then while we waited with her two different towing guys got into a fight about towing the car right in front of us.

A wish for Joy

A wish for Joy

The old man fingered the ring, then summoned the genie.

“What is thy wish?” the genie asked.

“I’ve come to realize I never gave happiness to anybody. So my wish is that for whatever time I have left, I would be a person who makes others smile when I come into a room. To be a source of happiness wherever I go. “

“Granted”

Some time later, in a hospital across town, a baby is presented to her parents.

They say “Let’s call her ... Joy ...”

End?

Sing a Healing Song - Fiona's Diary

Sing a Healing song - Fiona’s Diary

Author’s note: The following is a selection of entries from the diary of Fiona D’Arcy, the main character of “Sing a Healing Song”, and I’m writing it in the hope that I can get the inspiration for book two. In the meantime, enjoy this little snippet ...

I have discovered that my boyfriend Andrew is what they call a “leg man”

Not that he’s alone in that. I swear, if any of us girls wear an outfit that so much as shows our knees to school, the janitors have to work overtime to clean up all the boy drool.

shelving a story idea (for now)

I have talked here about an idea I had for this, my 10th anniversary year - having a character jump from one story universe to another.

Unfortunately, my muse isnt sending me anything to flesh the idea out, and instead I've been working on some sequels - one for the story "Sing a healing song", a new Jaci and Dottie story, and a story set in the "E-Girl" universe that will focus on the villains.

So I'm shelving the story jumping idea, at least for now.

to the people who care about me:

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To the people who care about me: I'm sorry. See, caring about someone is always risky. There is a chance you will get hurt by them. I'm not just talking about being disappointed, or betrayed, but hurt because the person you care about is hurting. So if you care about me, you've been hurt when I have hurt, and I'm sorry. And I'm afraid the hurting isnt over. See, I've been, so to speak writing checks my body cant cash for a long time, and it looks like nature is going to collect. And therefore I can see a lot of hurt in my future.

stuck on repeat

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I'm having a tough day, but to explain it you guys need to understand something about how my PTSD works. Its not just my rapes that are stuck in flashback mode, or even just my rapes and the abuse I suffered at the hands of my stepfather. Its EVERYTHING. The time I slammed the door on my brother's fingers to the time I ripped my pants at work to ... well the list is endless.

Needless to say, it sucks.

Haunted

Haunted

I remember the moment I became haunted.

Kindergarten, first day, they lined us up

Boys on one side, girls on the other

And as soon as they put me with the boys, the haunting began

The ghost being the girl I should have been

And as time went by

That haunting, that echo of what could have been

Only grew worse.

Until the day the doctor took me the first time

And my mind split

And the girl went deep inside

And I started being haunted by darker things

doubts

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Okay, so for the last while, I've been sharing stories at a writing group every two weeks, and last night I shared part 2 of a story called "Six forty-five" (which you can find here: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/34885/six-forty-five ) and it went over well. So I came home to look at part 3, and ... I dont know. I'm seriously lacking confidence in it.

If anybody wants to look at it, and see if its better than my brain is telling me, that would cool ...

doing yardwork is proving a challenge

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When I moved in to my brother and sister-in-law's basement, one of the things I agreed to was to take over the outside chores - mostly snow shoveling and lawn care.

At that time the thing I worried about was that my mental health issues would make doing these jobs tough.

I never dreamed how fast my physical health would deteriorate.

I never imagined that there would be a time when being out working for an hour would be a serious challenge.

I honestly dont know how long I can keep up to my promise, or what happens when I cant anymore.

sighs ...

story idea - "the Breach"

Okay so I'm fooling around with a story idea, and could use some feedback, Basic idea is a young heroine from a obscure "magical girl" manga which has been repackaged for an English speaking audience finds herself blown out of the pages of her book, into a place between stories, between universes. She now goes from universe to universe, story to story, trying to get "home". To make this idea extra awesome I'd like other authors' permission for her to visit their stories and interact with their characters as part of her journey,

Anybody wanna jump in?

Anniversary check up

Anniversary Check-up

Here is my celebration for 10 years on this site. Its dedicated to Talia who was a big help in getting it done.

You learn something new every day, or so they say.

Boy that was true for me on the 10th anniversary of my arrival at Big Closet.

It started with me waking up and realizing I wasnt in my bed.

got a load of clothes from Sharon

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if you had told me a few years ago my ex would be sending me a bag of women's clothes to use I would have called you delusional. But that happened today. I wish I could send out some of my good luck to everyone here.

So I took the clothes home, and tried them on, and I had a kitty "helping" me . She was very helpful sitting in the middle of the pile of clothes on my bed occasionally mewing commentary. the dog was at the foot of the bed to offer a dissenting opinion

Dementia here I come

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Anybody else have a word go missing from their vocabulary? I'm talking a simple, everyday word, one you've read and said hundreds of times just drop out and leave you half angry and half terrified?

Its happened to me. In fact, recently, I was trying to relate a story about a time when this happened, and the SAME WORD hat had given me such distress the first time disappeared as I was trying to talk about it.

Sighs. Dementia here I come ...

tough day

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tough day today. tweeked my male bits while out shopping with Sharon, which set off my dysphoria so bad I could have broken down and cried right there but managed to hold it in. The pain and dysphoria then triggered my PTSD, so I was really having a tough time. So how can I recover from such difficulties? I watch something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW9f04Dctz4

writing prompt

here is a little writing prompt: Two police entered the bus station. One seemed too young, an impression mostly given by the fact his uniform is too large for him. The other had grey hair and wrinkles, but carried himself with confidence and strength. The younger officer opens a locker, and strains to pull out a duffel bag. The older officer unzips the bag, revealing it is stuffed with cash. The younger man swallows, and says, "We're gonna get killed for this, arent we?" The older man replies, "Probably."

not in a good place

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I am facing a group of issues, any one of which would put serious strain on my spoon count.

The first is my bipolar cycle, which seems to be accelerating, somehow. I've had three crippling depressions inside of two weeks, each only lasting hours. This is far faster than anything I've dealt with before, and I dont know why its happening.

The second involves my PTSD. I seem to be in a state of hyper-awareness, the total opposite of my usual disassociation. And just like the bipolar cycle, i have no clue why.

The case of the Grimwood girl's school

The case of Grimwood Girl’s School

There are several cases involving Mr. Sherlock Holmes that for one reason or another, I was not able to release near the time that they happened.

Usually, this was because of the sensitive or possibly embarrassing nature of the case, especially when it involved a person of higher standing.

This is true of the case I’m about to relate, but the person who was most affected by it was myself.

a big thank you

just wanted to give a big public "thank you" to everyone who sent me revisions/corrections o my story. I'm working my way through them now, and I believe the story will be better for it.

Again, thanks, and huggles to commentator, Eric, Xtrim, and Patricia Marie Allen for their assistance, and Qmodo who also volunteered.

putting on my own mask first

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Today I wanted to go swimming. This became difficult when Sharon phoned just as I was leaving asking me to take Sam to West Edmonton mall, but I told her I had made my plans for the day. At first, I felt like I was being selfish, but then I remembered someone posing about how airlines tell parents to put on their own oxygen masks first, because if you pass out, you cant help your kid anyway. So today, I put on my own mask first.

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