Dorothy Colleen

my writing has slowed to a crawl

Assuming I havent driven away any fans I had with delays and short chapters, I'm afraid I have to tell those people that at the moment, my writing has slowed to a crawl, and as a result I cant say when then next chapter of Branded will be out. I'm going to try my best to have it ready before the new year, that's as good as I can do right now.

Sorry.

life's little coincidences

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Well, I went today for an intake interview to get handicapped support help, and in one of those little coincidences that makes me think God has a weird sense of humor, the person who did my intake has a trans son.

I guess Disney was right. It really is a small world after all ...

I'm upset with Sharon

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I'm really upset with Sharon.

Apparently, she told my mom that she's in serious financial difficulty with many bills not paid.

According to what my mom said, she has been stretching herself too thin by paying for counseling for Sam, and now is in trouble.

Of course, mom wants to help, but she cant do much when she's desperately trying to drop down to part time since at 80 working full time is getting to be a bit much.

And of course I can do anything since I'm not working at all.

Sighs ...

Branded Chapter 1

Branded (Mercy Book 2)

Cain replied to the LORD, “My punishment is too great for me to bear! You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!”

Brand:

I went inside the flying building and seem them both.

And I can't help but stare.

Vantier. A legend from my ancestor’s time, reborn. Then she was known as a warrior, a leader. Today? She’s become a healer, and teacher.

I'm honestly a little intimidated

Having read most of the submissions for the Christmas contest, I can honestly say I'm a little intimidated, The level of quality in the stories is astounding, especially when you consider most of the authors are not professional writers, and several of our "heavy hitters" havent even weighed in with their stories yet.

This is one of the reasons I love this place, the shear quality of work is amazing.

Can I give another author's stories a push?

I am on the chat site quite often, and last night I was chatting with a fellow author here, Arwen, and promised I would re-read her stuff.

Its really quite good, and if you havent read any, you should give it a try.

Here is a link:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19524/arwens-tears

I'm not dead (and maybe neither is my muse)

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Well, it seems like my depression is lifting. I got some things done yesterday (shoveling the walk, laundry), and I even got a couple of sentences written on a story.

its not much, but I have hope again that I might actually get a story (or at least a chapter of a story) finished before the new year ...

the end of the road

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I am facing the loss of my days as a writer.

This isnt about my muse, i still get ideas, but my ability to communicate them seems to be gone.

I tried to write a little story for the Christmas contest, and despite having what I thought was a decent idea, what I produced looked more like a series of bullet points on Twitter.

It probably doesnt help that I'm grieving and fighting depression, but I am seriously worried this is the end.

To anybody who has actually read anything I've written and hoped for more, I'm sorry.

my brain is weird

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My brain is weird.

I cant even have anxiety like a normal person.

Instead of the usual symptoms, heart racing, whatever, my brain has come up with a different idea.

It finds something else for me to focus on, and goes "hey look, over here, a shiny!"

The result is I can go a long time without even realizing something is making me anxious.

a dog's life

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just about anybody who has had a pet can tell you they sneak their way into your heart, and losing them is a grief as large as any grief you can suffer.

Well, we are getting close to that point with our dog, Little Lady.

Her one back leg is causing her such pain she cannot put any weight on it, and she collapses or limps continually.

I believe it is arthritis, as it seems to get worse at night and on colder days, but we're going to try and find out for sure.

sad dream

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I had a sad dream last night.

I dreamed that I was visiting a school, and had promised a kid I would see him in his class, only I got lost, lost my copy of Lord of the Rings which I had been carrying with me, and eventually left the school after all the classes were done and I had been told I had disappointed the kid, and then I tried to go home but found a gigantic hill behind the school that I tried to climb and failed.

Lest we forget ...

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In honor of Remembrance day, let me share a story about my grandfather.

My grandfather served in WW II with the "Calgary tanks", and as such was on the front lines of almost every battle involving Canadians.

He helped fight Rommel in Africa, helped invade Italy, and much more.

He was wounded several times. pieces of shrapnel were permanently lodged in his lungs, and in his shoulder.

He had been told, as most were, that the war would be over in months, but served six years. In the process, he missed his small children growing up.

I am looking for a story

I am trying to track down a story, and could use some help.

The story featured "fey" like creatures who put people into the past in different bodies, among other things. The story focused on one guy who found himself in the body of a mute girl being hunted by these creatures, and Peter Pan was involved, as were aliens.

Anybody remember this story?

my daughter is heartbroken

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Got some bad news.

Sam had an allergy attack last week, and we just got back the blood tests. It turns out its her cats, and Sam is heartbroken.

She's been given a week to find a home for the 3 kittens, and I really hope we can find them loving homes.

Sighs ...

Because I guess things werent interesting enough here

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Because, I guess the universe decided things weren't interesting enough around here, i found out tonight that my brother has an enlarged prostrate, and while they haven't said the "c" word yet, its looking like its headed in that direction. You add in my dog having walking issues, my mom now has high blood pressure, and I'm ... well, I'm me, and I could stand having a little less stress ...

Sighs.

Hugs, prayers, and positive vibes accepted.

accomplishing stuff despite anxiety

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Well, I beat my anxiety, and got stuff accomplished today. I got my blood work done, got some questions answered about Canada Pension, and best of all, got my report for October done for emergency financial aid, which has been beating me silly all week.

Yay !!!!!

Poser

Poser

I have done some crazy stuff in my life, but this ... takes the cake.

No, I’m not going to go into what else I’ve done. They are tales for another day, and this is the story I want to tell today, the story of my craziest, and most recent moment of madness.

It started when I went to the local college to look at some continuing education classes. I was struggling a little with my job, and thought maybe I could find something that would lead to something better once I had the training.

And then I saw David.

Burned my face today

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I had a "I cant believe I was that stupid" moment today.

I had been fighting depression and being sick for the last week, so I hadnt shaved.

So I thought I would use nair to get the hair down to the point where I could get a blade through it.

unfortunately, I messed up, got some on my cheek, and burned myself.

sighs ...

my life is hard enough, I really should stop trying to make it harder ...

having an unlikable protagonist

okay, just for fun, I want to talk about making an unlikable protagonist.

Now, most stories dont do this. After all, the protagonist is usually supposed to be someone the audience cheers for.

But some stories do have an unlikable protagonist, so lets see if we can find out how that can work.

did my human book thing

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okay so I did my human book thing, and I think it went well. I got thanked by several of the students as well as the organizers for my participation.

Only bad thing was after it was over, it was only noon, but I basically had just enough spoons to get home, take my dog for a walk, and then I was done ...

I am going to be a human book.

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I have volunteered with The University of Alberta department of Medicine as a "human book" - basically a way for medical students a chance to meet some real people who might be their patients in a few years, and in this case help them understand the needs of the LGBT community.

I went to the orientation today, and tomorrow morning I will be available for the students to speak

Wish me luck ...

apparent terror attack here

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Well, imagine my surprise to wake up this morning and find out Edmonton suffered an (alleged) terror attack.

Details are still coming in, but so far it seems that no one was killed, but several people were injured including at least one police officer, and a suspect is in custody.

There will be those who use this as justification for bigoted attacks on immigrants or Muslims in general, but I believe most Canadians are smart enough to see through such things.

Still, positive vibes and prayers are appreciated, so keep em coming.

major accomplishment today

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I had a major accomplishment today.

I was able to go to my bank and get a direct deposit form filled out and a printout of my account history for the last three months, - both of which I need for my application for emergency assistance.

Why is that a major accomplishment?

Because for the three days prior to today, I have been planning to do this, only to be foiled by massive levels of anxiety.

So despite still having that anxiety today, the fact I was able to get this done is a major thing.

a unwelcome visit from Mr. Nasty

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I am having a particularly unpleasant visitor at the moment - Mr. Nasty himself, the "voice" who tells me how worthless I am.

So even though it feels like I've been doing this a lot lately, i once again am asking for any positive messages you can send me.

Thank you to all who read this little blog and support me.

roadblock

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Okay so today did not go well. It started with me oversleeping because somehow last night I accidentally set my clock wrong, then I carved a fairly good sized whole in my face shaving, then I went to welfare only to be told my doctor's note isnt what I need because it covers too short a period of time.

Sighs ... roadblocks are no fun ...

good news/bad news day

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Well, today is been kinda a good news/bad news day.

First, the good news is I saw my psychologist and got both a letter for Welfare and his promise to complete forms for my application for handicapped assistance and send it in for me.

On the bad news, we had to go over some of the more painful parts of my history, and so i am slightly shaky, and its snowing, which is activating my arthritis.

Ah, well.

Inch by inch, I move forward

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So I was able to get a doctor's note about not being able to work, but it took so long, I was not able to see someone at welfare about emergency assistance.

However, i did get an appointment for Wednesday, so that will do, and I see my psychologist and hopefully get my evaluation from him tomorrow.

Inch by inch, I move forward ...

Re-reading SEE

I am re-reading Somewhere Else Entirely by Penny Lane, and I can highly recommend it if you havent read it (or even if you have). Its a long story, so be prepared to get hooked for some time, though.

Here is a link:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/24164/somewhere-else-ent...

a dream has left me shaken

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A dream I had last night has left me shaken.

In the dream, I was back in elementary school (although I seemed to be the age I am now), and while I found some of the material far too easy, I was struggling in the class because the teachers and students seemed to be speaking in a kind of code that left me isolated, confused, and increasingly angry.

Said that way, it sounds a LOT like my real elementary school experience.

About the only good thing about the dream was people called me Dorothy, but still, I find myself being very upset about it.

an encouragement to give

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Its been a bad year (or two) for disasters. Locally, last year we had a massive fire in Fort McMurry, and this year its British Colombia's turn to have terrible fires. In the states, California is also fighting fires, while Texas is just beginning the cleanup from hurricane Harvey, and apparently there is another hurricane building that is expected to hit Florida.

That's not even counting disasters elsewhere in the world.

a story of mine appeared in my church bulletin

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I am pleased to announce that a story of mine - "Tears from a bottle" has now been published in my church's monthly bulletin. If you're curious about the story, you can read it here:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/35262/tears-from-bottle

sorry the story is so short

Just an apology for the fact my latest piece is so short. I kept hoping I could expand it, but I was seriously stuck, and my muse kept wanting to work on this other piece based on my dream instead. So I figured I'd put it out there, and hopefully if there is interest I'll add to it or make a sequel or something, assuming my muse lets me.

At least I'm writing again, so there is that ...

A M.Y.T.H.-ing Witch - A M.Y.T.H. prequel

M.Y.T.H.-ing Witch (A M.Y.T.H. prequel)

I can say it, I messed up. But it wasn’t all my fault. I trusted the wrong person.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

My name is Sabrina, and I’m a witch.

Nope, don’t have a broomstick. Although I guess I could, if I really wanted to make one.

Witches are actually a subset of the race known as the Magi. There are three main subsets - Witches, Warlocks, and Wizards.

weird dream that might be a story

Had a weird dream last night that might make a good story. In the dream two ex soldiers go to a hotel bar to meet a third former soldier who had transitioned to female. The reason for the reunion was some supernatural evil they had survived as soldiers had returned, and they wanted to fight it together.

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