I'm only happy when it rains?
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The above is based on an old song by a group called Garbage, and its about my general attitude in life. I was mentioning the other day to a friend about how ... easy my transition is going, and she said "What? Did you want it to be harder?"
Then in a conversation with my mom, I mentioned about passing, and she said, "maybe you want more attention, and are sorry people arent noticing you, even if that meant they were mean."
So its got me thinking - am I upset about how smoothly this is going? And I dont think so. I'm suffering from two problems - I didnt really expect to succeed, and sometimes I dont think I deserve to succeed in any case, like I should apologize for how well I'm now doing.
Ah, well. bit by bit, I'm leaving more of that crap behind ....