self-sabotage
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For most if not all my life, I've struggled against self-sabotage, and failed.
Over and over again, usually just when I started making headway, I'd do something stupid and blow everything to pieces.
If I had any hope that the work I've been doing on myself the last few years had cured me of that ailment, last night proved otherwise.
See, I went to pick up Sharon, and on the way there had to merge into the other lane because of construction, but unfortunately there was another car already there.
I hit it on the back side, and so we both stopped to exchange information.
That's when I discovered the ticking time bomb.
I couldn't find my most recent pink card with my insurance info.
The other driver accepted the one I could find, that expired in May, which has me believing I forgot to renew it.
If that's true, I will have to cover the costs of repairing his vehicle, and since this would be the second time in my life that has happened, I will probably lose my coverage or at best have the cost go up to the point I can no longer afford it.
I'm trying my best to hold on, but I'm in rough shape, so hugs appreciated.