self-sabotage

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For most if not all my life, I've struggled against self-sabotage, and failed.

Over and over again, usually just when I started making headway, I'd do something stupid and blow everything to pieces.

If I had any hope that the work I've been doing on myself the last few years had cured me of that ailment, last night proved otherwise.

See, I went to pick up Sharon, and on the way there had to merge into the other lane because of construction, but unfortunately there was another car already there.

I hit it on the back side, and so we both stopped to exchange information.

That's when I discovered the ticking time bomb.

I couldn't find my most recent pink card with my insurance info.

The other driver accepted the one I could find, that expired in May, which has me believing I forgot to renew it.

If that's true, I will have to cover the costs of repairing his vehicle, and since this would be the second time in my life that has happened, I will probably lose my coverage or at best have the cost go up to the point I can no longer afford it.

I'm trying my best to hold on, but I'm in rough shape, so hugs appreciated.

Comments

Take a breath

RobertaME's picture

Don't borrow trouble, first of all. Just because you don't have the insurance card in the car, doesn't mean you didn't renew. Stay calm, contact the insurance company, and verify coverage. If it turns out you did fail to renew...

Take a breath.

Everyone messes up. It's part of being human. You didn't kill anyone... you broke a regulation. Yes, you'll have to own up to that and pay the costs, whatever they are, but in the end it's not the end of all life on Earth, is it? There are far worse things that could have happened... including you getting hurt. (which is what I feared as I read your post) If you have to make sacrifices to pay for this mistake, then that's just the way it is.

We've all made horrible mistakes in life. Two boys barely in High School have to carry the weight of chasing me into traffic while trying to mug me and watch as I was hit by a car. My mother carries the weight of how much she willfully ignored my pain growing up a boy. None of us are perfect. Just try and remember that as you move forward... calmly... rationally... and remember...

Just... take a breath... and know you are loved.

::huggles::
Roberta

Hugs

*returns all girl germs back to momma Dorothy that are not tomboy germs so go right through her tomboy shield.*

I don’t know details but, knowing you, your in a major panic. Breathe dorothy.

Breathe

Daphne Xu's picture

I agree, Dorothy. Breathe.

And hug. Here are some hugs.

-- Daphne Xu

take a deep breath

Andrea Lena's picture

slowly exhale.

Check your bank statements for any recent payment. Call your insurance company and report the accident. If you've paid, they'll have it in the system. The other driver will be making a claim, so either way, you'll know soon enough.

BUT FIRST

Recognize that you're blaming yourself for sabotage for something we ALL go through. In the midst of this, remember that you're almost always responsible for everyone else's transportation - at least three others by my count - who often require help to the detriment of your own needs. Add to that your mom's and your brother's health issues, and it would be a wonder if you didn't miss a detail here or there.

You've sought assistance to address those other needs only to be thwarted by the system time after time. I'm not telling you that the sistuation might not prove to be difficult. I'm only saying that given your continued urgent requirement to address everyone else's needs that you're doing the best anyone can.

Much love and send girlie germs, please Tante Andrea

PS - your most recene correspondence with the insurance company might have included the current ID card. I've had that happen on more than a few occasions. And I bet I'm not alone on that.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

*big hugs*

So sorry to hear about the accident and insurance!

*more hugs*