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Today has been very emotional for me. I lost a very close friend to Cancer and I was at her bedside when she passed. We did so much together that I don't think I'll ever find another friend like her. My emotions are in shambles to the point where it's taking everything I have not to bawl my eyes out. I was her Maid of honor at her wedding and it was a glorius night. She kept me going through everything that ever happened to me and I'll never get to repay her now that she's gone. This is all becoming so much that I don't know what to do.
Comments
Um, why would you not cry?
I am sorry that you lost your friend, and the fact that you feel shattered is not surprising. It is rational and reasonable to feel and express grief in such a situation. Not sure why you would wish to hold that back.
A
My Prayers are with you during this time of bereavment.
On the 17th it'll be 7 years since my wife of 36 years graduated. She was a vital part of my life but after being bedridden for 9 years was ready. She always said she wasn't dying, she was graduating. Now I try to live my life to honor her memory. She's still by my side every day, guiding me and offering advice. As long as she lives in your mind, she'll never be gone. That has helped me these last 7 years.
God bless
Boys will be girls... if they're lucky!
Jennifer Sue
Condolences
I can do nothing about your loss, but my shoulders are waterproof, and my ears are open...
*Kisses Always*
Haylee V
sorry for your loss
huggles.
Very recently while contemplating the death of a close friend...
I was reminded of a few words of wisdom. Strangely enough, they are from a television show - a sitcom. But as is often true, humor is often used to make discussions of tragedy more palatable to us, and hopefully this helps.
"In the end, all you can hope for is that your last thought is a good one. Even if it's about the taste of a nice cold beer."
Death comes to us all in it's own time and way, and contrary to what many would have us believe, there are no good deaths. The only distinction any of us have is in how we lived our life. Hopefully your friend's death was the culminating act of a long and fruitful life. I have seen too many deaths that were nothing more than the pointless end of a wasted life, and I have seen too many promising young men cut down in the prime of their lives. Lives that I would have readily given my own to preserve without a second thought. But alas, to my immortal sorrow I was not able to protect or save them.
My biggest hope now is that I will go kicking and screaming into the dark, fighting Old Luke for his just dues all the way. I hope that those that have known me will someday sit over a good wine or a single malt while reflecting on my life, and that they will be able to say that all things considered, I had some positive impact on those around me.
And I hope that my wife and family will honor my wishes to bury me as my true self.
That is all we can truly hope for........that somehow, somewhere, we did some good in this world. And that those who knew us will remember us well.
D
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Hard to express
I've been diagnosed and cured with cancer 4 separate times. The company and friendship I received helped me survive. Your friend received your thoughts and love. This eased her way along in ways not expressed. She knew you were there for her. It's a very sad day for you, but smile a bit when you think of her.
A big hug, Karen
Greive for your friend
Love has two faces. The one side is our emotional commitment to our friends. The other side of the coin is our love does not stop when our friend's life ends. It is appropriate that you should feel as you do. If you didn't, yours would not have been as warm and loving a relationship. So, remember your friend. Yours are tears of love.
Red MacDonald
loss
we hold on. they may be gone but your memories are still there. ive had loss in my life. its not a good feeling but you cant give up.
robert
ps hope this helps
rj
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that time will leave you with the joy of memories of the closeness you shared.
My sincerest condolences.
Hugs
Leila
The advantage you have is being able to cry,
As a guy I grew up being told don't let people see you cry so i learned to bottle up my emotions, but women are normally taught the opposite to show there emotions.
So let it out, bottling it up is never healthy for anyone, that is why you need to find a way to let them out. Me I would go do something like going to a shooting range and empty frustration into paper targets, or when I am alone let the tears flow, or heck go out into the woods and scream my rage out or go at a punching bag, hit a relaxing video game anything to vent because bottling it up has never really worked, it was never good for the person who basically was the straw that broke the camels back. Let it out its bad for your health.
"Cortana is watching you!"
Update
Thanks for all the condolences everyone. I eventually did end up bawling and I feel much better now. Its hard to put into words just how much pain and agony I was feeling. I appreciate the kind words from everyone and I love every one of you.
Prayers
My prayers are with you and her family :-(
Glad you had that good cry, better than holding it in
BIG HUGS